[open] i can't forget it

[franciscoramon]

who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all & soulmate stuff
when: september
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up at platoapproved!
warnings: will add as needed

[will add here]

Comments

for eddie

[franciscoramon]

[ The moment that Eddie started making vague noises about feeling like he wanted to start training with his powers, Cisco began making preparations. The first, and most important step, was finding a proper space. He's definitely not going to repeat his earlier mistake of going out past the wall for space and privacy: they'd both nearly died the last time they did that. But his workshop has too many breakable things, even though Eddie's powers don't seem as potentially explosive as his own. Who knows what more might lie in store?

So instead he makes a handful of phone calls (a real sacrifice, because is there anything worse than making phone calls to arrange things, with official people doing their official jobs?) and gets permission to use the room in the basement of a gym nearby his workshop - normally the space is set aside for big aerobics classes or yoga or whatever. It's ideal: large, and with high enough ceilings, but no windows and only one door, without a window. Discreet. They can go in and just look like they're there to work out.

He also makes other preparations - first aid supplies tucked away discreetly in a duffel, plus snacks (of the healthy and the colorful and sugary types), sports drinks, painkillers, and even a tiny old boombox he'd found that will play the inspirational mix cd he has made for the occasion. He also has the goggles that he thinks, maybe, should work now. Just in case they decide, at any point, to make this a joint training type arrangement.

Once everything is set, he texts Eddie the basics - the where, the when, the what - and then shows up early, fiddling with the boombox as he waits for Eddie to show up. He feels unaccountably nervous. After all, he can't even really control his own powers at all. He's hardly the most qualified to help Eddie with his. ]

[causational]

[It's kind of amazing to Eddie that Cisco had come up with all of this just because Eddie finally felt ready to train. That kind of treatment is usually something reserved for Barry and Oliver and the other real heroes, not for someone like him. So when Cisco tells him about it, he probably comes across as almost hesitant about it, though it's mostly shyness at what he sees as treatment he doesn't really deserve. Hasn't really earned.

But he decides it's worth it, to give it a try, to see if the shield and whatever he'd done to help heal Dodger is something he can develop consciously, and actually use. So he shows up at the agreed-upon time wearing athletic gear and walks in just as Cisco is fiddling with a boom box, getting it set up. Smiling, Eddie clears his throat, and then walks into the space, peering around thoughtfully, letting out a slow whistle.]

You were right when you said this place was perfect. Wow. It really is.

[He claps his hands together, taking a deep breath and then letting it out.]

So were are we starting?

[franciscoramon]

[ For Cisco, fear often manifests as anger, but when nervousness manifests as big smiles and a profusion of nervous babbling. And since he's a bit nervous about this whole situation and his responsibilities when it comes to helping Eddie, he first beams and goes over to give Eddie a hello hug (and okay, maybe that wasn't only because of nervousness) and then starts speaking quite quickly: ]

We're starting off with the pep talk, then stretching, then we're going to get you in the right headspace, then I've got an assortment of soft foamy balls I'll probably end up chucking at your head, and then we'll see how it goes from there, alright?

[ Cisco walks over and, decisively, locks the door to the room. The last thing they need is for anyone dropping in, both for security and privacy reasons. Then he turns and begins, and it's clear from the way he talks that, although he hasn't practiced this speech, he's been thinking about it for some time. ]

I don't know if I should've called it a pep talk 'cause it's actually more like a disclaimer, but... I saw Barry's training, and you didn't. By the time you all at the CCPD really knew about him, Barry had had months of practice and almost constant training at S.T.A.R. Labs during all his free time. You just saw the finished product, but I was there from the beginning, back before he was even sure that he had powers. The first day he tried to use his powers? He crashed into a dozen water barrels and broke, like, multiple bones. So don't feel like you're a fraud or not hero material or whatever it is you might think, if you're not super amazing on the first try. Just remember those hours and hours and hours I spent staring at a treadmill or designing him fancy robots to practice fighting, and give yourself a little bit of time. Okay?

[ Cisco meets Eddie's eyes, looking to see if he's really listened and absorbed the message behind the words, and not just dismissed them out of hand. He's starting to figure out that Eddie asks a lot of himself, at all times, but Cisco thinks he'll do a lot better if he can set that aside a bit, for these first hard crucial stages. ]

for taako

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco has really been trying not to be on his phone quite so constantly, recently. It used to be he would waste way too much time just refreshing the network, looking for distractions, procrastinating stuff. But he's been on a kick these last few days where he's trying not to do that so much. But the consequence is that he misses Lup's post, for the first thirty or so minutes that it is up.

When he does pull up the network and sees it, he feels like his stomach has turned to lead. Normally, reading other people's conversations isn't really his style (in fact he avoids it to a perhaps paranoid degree), but he is too freaked out right then to quite keep to his principles. He reads all the responses; the knot of panic in his chest loosens a little when he sees that Taako's healed, now, thank goodness.

But he had still gotten hurt. Badly enough that Lup had had to get a healer. And that's all Cisco needs to know.

Cisco can feel himself shaking a little - extra adrenaline - as he throws on his coat and just heads right over to Taako's house. Maybe he ought to send a text in advance, ask if he's there, warn that he's going to show up. But he's not thinking straight enough for that.

He just comes right over and knocks on the door. ]

[spellslots]

[It's Taako who opens the door; he asked Lup to go pick up some supplies, which took a little bit of push and shove until she finally agreed, but he really just needed some time to be alone. He's showered and changed into comfortable clothes, including a hoodie that may or may not have been stolen from Magnus, because if he's going to wallow he's going to do it properly. That might be the same reason he hasn't put his glamour back on.

He knows it's Cisco, which is the only reason it gets answered.]

Hey, bubbale.

[He's expecting either a hug or a flurry of questions, so he's sort of bracing himself for either.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco has seen Taako without his glamor before, just once, during that game of truth or dare months earlier. But that had only been for a few seconds, during a long and eventful day. The fact that Taako's wearing a too-big hoodie, rather than any of his usual cute ensembles, only enhances the difference.

Taako just looks small, and tired, and unhappy, standing there in the doorway. Cisco's first instinct is to throw himself on Taako, to hug him tightly, but he holds himself back. He doesn't know how Taako had been injured, and to what degree he'd been healed. Enough to be home, sure, but that doesn't mean there's no pain. And if it had been something very frightening, he might be even more than usually disinclined to hugs at the moment. So Cisco doesn't touch him, though there's some sign of the restraint, in the way he's holding his arms. He swallows, heart still beating fast, and says as normally as he can: ]

Hey, dude.

[ He tries to smile, and mostly it's worried and wan, but he does try at least. There's no covering the worry, the fretful affection and concern in his eyes. ]

Can I come in for a bit?

for ginko

[franciscoramon]

[ After their conversation on the network, Cisco is expecting Ginko to drop by. He starts a fresh pot of coffee brewing, clears away some of the schematics and general mess, and generally thinks over the things that Ginko had told him about mushi.

And hardly for the first time, and certainly for the last, he wishes he had a better sense of what is a proportional, sane, normal reaction to something new like this. He doesn't trust his own responses, anymore. Not after everything that happened with Dr. Wells had left him so deeply paranoid, particularly when it came to surprises or things he couldn't control. Is he right, to be freaking out about these mushi, and unsure about Ginko himself? Or is he just being completely, totally bonkers? Maybe he should send a few messages to friends, get some second opinions...

But before he has a chance to, there's a soft knock at the workshop door, and Cisco hurries over to answer it, regretting a little that he hadn't told Ginko to meet him at some very public place. Here's hoping this didn't go bad. ]

Hey! Ginko, right?

[tenthousandmiles]

[Luckily, even if Ginko was harboring some kind of sinister intentions, he's also like...the least threatening person possible short of an actual child or something. The man who walks through Cisco's door is tall but fairly slender, the build of someone who's mostly spent his life hiking through mountains and woods and such rather than fighting or doing manual labor. The sort of person a large enough dog could bowl over, basically.

Ginko smiles lightly, raising a hand in acknowledgment when Cisco greets him. In person, as on the network, the place where his left eye would be is covered by the shock of white hair, but the breeze coming in through the window might be enough to get a glimpse of the fact that there's nothing there behind it but an eerie blackness.]

That's right. And your name was...Cis--

[He...tries to pronounce the label that had come with Cisco's video when they'd spoken, anyway. Struggles a little bit, making evident a Japanese accent that was previously hidden by the translation magic.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco gestures Ginko inside and then shuts the door behind him, beckons the man to follow him inside past the various tables full of half-built tech, the shelves of parts and fabric and a bunch of boxes of assorted junk that might be useful someday, or might be magical, or might be alien tech. He gestures towards the free chair and sits back down in his own chair, rolling a bit closer as he confirms: ]

Cisco Ramon! Just Cisco's fine. Or 'hey you' works, too. So... you said there's no phones where you come from, right? Not even landlines? You want me to run you through the basics of what you can do with this bad boy, and then maybe you can tell me some stuff about mysterious floating sentient kinda inanimate mushi things?

[ He could have just said 'mushi' but where is the fun in that? Cisco's faint nervousness is just contributing to make him a little brighter, a little bubblier than normal, which right now is translating into a lot of smiling and speaking just a little faster than usual. ]

I mean obviously you already worked out how to post videos on the network, so you're already a lot ahead of some people I've talked to here.

for bill

[franciscoramon]

[ (continued from here)

Cisco cleans himself up a little, too. At least, he manages to pull himself together enough to put on non-pajama clothes and to splash some water on his face. One of the nice things about living with Eddie is that the apartment is pretty much always spotless, regardless of Yuri's messiness and Cisco's own habit of leaving schematics and soda cans everywhere.

So there's no real tidying to do. He brings down what's left of the beignets that Taako had made to cheer him up, and also a bottle of wine he'd been thinking about opening. It's really just a damage control kind of a day. Cisco's still trying to wrap his head around the Doctor just being gone. Poor Bill. He doesn't know what he'd do, if Eddie left. If he was the only one from his world left in this place.

When Bill shows up Cisco lets her inside, saying: ]

Hey, Bill, c'mon in. Love the shirt, by the way.

[ He leads her over to the couch and then flops on it himself, sitting cross-legged and looking both wan and concerned. ]

So today sucks, huh?

[tutee]

Cheers.

[ She comes inside, drops her bag by the door, and shrugs out of her jacket. If she were in a better mood, she'd look around and say something nice about Cisco's apartment. As it is, she's too numb to see outside herself. ]

It's not the best day, that's for sure. You mentioned wine?

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco leans forward, scooping the wine from the coffee tables and pulling a corkscrew from his pocket, going to work on the cork as he says: ]

Beignets, too. Care of my friend, who I totally yelled at for trying to tell me the truth about the stuff I'd forgotten. Not really sure how that works - I was a dick and he brought baked goods, but...

[ He trails off with a shrug, pulling the cork free with a satisfying pop and then realizing: ]

Right. Glasses. I don't think we're quite at a drinking straight from the bottle level of crisis, are we?

[ He had been, earlier, but he's trying to keep at least a semblance of not being a total hot mess, for Bill. Cisco goes into the kitchen and returns moments later with two large wine glasses, one of which he hands to Bill before saying: ]

Say when.

[ And he starts pouring the wine for her. ]

for hana

[franciscoramon]

[ Things are still pretty weird, after last night. Nobody he cares about had gotten badly hurt, but there had been a huge fire, and he has too many stupidly heroic friends who had gone rushing in to help people, over and over, and Cisco can still feel the lingering after-effects of all that worry, sitting sour in his stomach.

So when a knock interrupts his work (well, if holding a soldering iron and staring vacantly into the middle distance remembering how the communal housing building had looked with smoke billowing out of it), he is eager for a distraction. He opens the door to see Hana on the other side, and his smile isn't just automatic - it is genuine and warm. ]

Hey! What're you doing here? C'mon in.

[ And he steps aside, gesturing her in to his workshop, which is a bit of a disaster area at present, all schematics spread over everything, and great bundles of wire, and huge boxes of scavenged broken machines that he has been tearing apart, looking for parts that might still be useful. ]

[bunnyhopped]

[ Count Hana as one of those stupidly heroic friends, honestly, because when she turns up at the door to his workshop today, she's in casual wear – just a simple shirt and shorts with a jacket tied around her waist – an ensemble that perfectly shows off how she's sporting a rather sizable bandage on her calf where she'd gotten injured. She looks pretty groggy, because how does one really sleep after your housing building goes up in flames and you spend the most of the rest of the night rescuing people? The answer is you don't. But she's holding a little cup carrier containing two coffees from a nearby coffee shop, which she holds up diplomatically at him as she steps into the room. ]

I have a favor to ask. Coffee?

[ Wait. She hopes he drinks coffee. She just kind of assumed. Maybe she should've asked first... ]

[franciscoramon]

[ He is an engineer, of course he drinks coffee.

Cisco notices that she looks a little ragged, but doesn't think much of it at first. Had any of them gotten a good night's sleep, last night? He's pretty sure everyone in the entire city was awake, even the ones who didn't live near to the fire. Cisco takes one of the coffees, smile widening as he says: ]

Sure, how can I help?

[ He hurries over to clear off the couch that he keeps tucked away against the back wall of the workshop. It's only after he's moved a big box and gestured for Hana to sit that he notices the bandage. It adds concern to his voice as he asks, voice gone tense with worry: ]

You got hurt?

for tony

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco arrives right on time, a big pink box full of donuts in one hand and a carrier with two coffees in the other. Tony had only asked for the donuts, but donuts without coffee just seems kind of wrong. It's Cisco's first time actually visiting Tony's workspace. He's excited to see it, and especially excited to meet the new inhabitant. What can he say? He is a nerd and likes robots - even the incompetent ones. He'd made some pretty terrible little robots in his day, and he had loved every single one of them.

He's a little more cautious about the AI - though he digs the name - simply because it's more like meeting another actual person, just one without a body.

When Tony answers his knock, Cisco is beaming from ear to ear. ]

Take me to your robots.

[buildsomething]

[Tony stares at him for a moment, and then down at the offerings Cisco has brought. And then gives an amused little snort and steps out of the doorway so that the other man can come inside.

The workshop clearly isn't completely set up yet, but it's getting there. There's a large tool chest pressed up against one wall, and a couple of surfaces that are clearly going to become worktables if the pieces of scrap metal piled haphazardly are any indication. Tucked into one corner is a desk and a bank of monitors. One wall is still open to the wiring.

And then there's Dum-E, happily wheeling along, main strut twisting back and forth like the bot is trying to inspect everything. He stops when he registers someone new coming in, camera lifting high to get a good look at him.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco gives a quick glance around the workshop in progress, curious about it and the setup Tony will end up with, but the space itself isn't the main attraction. He spots Dum-E quickly and his smile only gets brighter, somehow. When he sees that camera raising up to look at him, Cisco doesn't hesitate; he waves excitedly, saying: ]

Hi, Dum-E! I don't know how much you can understand me, but I'm Cisco.

[ He uses the tone of voice that would be appropriate when talking to either a very precocious baby or a toddler. He comes over to one of those worktables and sets the coffee and donuts on a piece of sheet metal that's a little rusted at the edges, then immediately walks over to Dum-E, crouching down so he can look at its joints and wheels and all the rest of it. Cisco glances over his shoulder at Tony, says: ]

He's gorgeous.

[ Not a hint of irony, there. ]

morning after ⚡ take two

[causational]

[When Eddie wakes up, it's to the familiar feeling of sunshine playing across his face as he lies curled up against Cisco with the blanket draped over both of them, and it's morning. Arching his back, he makes a soft noise in his throat, registers in his slightly muddled brain that it was way more than a nap they ended up settling for.

For a long few minutes, he lies still in the bed, just enjoying the languid laziness of the morning, the softness of the bed, the way Cisco feels curled up against him, still nude, flushed and warm, his face pressed against the pillow, his dark lashes in soft crescents against his cheeks, his hair splayed against the sheets. Eddie smiles slightly, eyes locked on him for a moment, and it's then that the reality sets in. What they did and how it went down, and Eddie realizes...he probably needs to think.

This is some big stuff. And maybe he's tired of waiting.

So he carefully extricates himself, slides himself out of the bed without disturbing Cisco, and heads down into the kitchen, makes himself some toast and a cup of coffee, which he eats and drinks slowly, thinking about the situation, about how he feels and what he wants and what he needs. And then he makes another two cups, the way he and Cisco like them, and goes back up to Cisco's room, nudging the door open with his hip and peeking inside.]

Hey...you awake?

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco is deeply asleep, when Eddie gets up and goes to make himself breakfast and think about things. It isn't a particular sound or anything that awakens him; he rises to awareness slowly, happily, comfortable and well-rested. He hadn't had any nightmares at all, that night. Even though he typically gets back to sleep much faster, now that Eddie has been sharing his bed, those disruptions did have some impact on him.

He notices that he is naked, which is unusual for him, rolls over onto the cooler sheets on the other side of the bed. He doesn't remember Eddie saying he was leaving for the gym, the way he usually does-

Which is when he remembers the night before. Eddie. The texting, and what happened after.

Cisco doesn't fall apart right away. He sits up, looking over to see if the door is closed to the little bathroom just off his room. But it is wide open, the light off. He looks at the bedside table - no note. No goodbye when he left, and he always did that, even though Cisco only ever mumbled incoherently in response. The sheets on the other side of the bed are cold. Eddie had been out of it for a while. How long had he even stayed?

That thought is the last straw on the camel's back. Cisco shivers, only partly from the cold. He's on his feet, then, ignoring the blotches in his vision from standing up much too fast. He grabs a big hoodie and underwear and sweatpants from his drawers and hauls them on with hands that have started to shake. And then he lays down again, pulling the blankets up to his chin and staring up at the ceiling. Cisco tells himself not to get all dramatic about it. After all, this was his fault. He is the one who keeps doing this to himself. Keeps wanting things he cannot have.

He'd expect it would be easier, the second time. Been there, done that. But it isn't easier. It's somehow much worse, because they had been sober, because he ought to have known better. Except he hadn't known better, because he's a pathetic idiot.

Cisco doesn't want to cry, but as much as he tries to shove the thoughts away, he can't. He keeps thinking about it, how he'd said stay in that clingy, awful way. How Eddie hadn't stayed. How Cisco had pushed things into a sexual place between them for a second time, when Eddie hadn't even asked him out yet. Will he ever, now? Doubtful. So it's hard not to let a few tears slip out and roll down the sides of his face, but Cisco at least has the good sense to be quiet about it. It's daytime and Yuri might be around and not listening to music or otherwise occupied. He covers his eyes with one hand, chin quivering a little, and just gives up on not despising himself for a little while.

He doesn't hear the door opening over the sound of his little hitched, quiet, sobbing inhales. Then Eddie is speaking and Cisco freezes, hand moving away from his face. And... there is Eddie, with two mugs of coffee, looking at him from the doorway, impossibly. ]

You're here?

[ Cisco's voice comes out cracked and awful, but the shock is still clear in it. ]

[causational]

[The moment Cisco shifts in the bed, it's obvious that he's woken up and gone back to bed, and Eddie can feel the heaviness in the air that immediately precedes the realization that Cisco is making soft, shivery sobbing noises. Hand over his face, Cisco is curled up in the bed with his blankets pulled up, a hoodie on, his mouth tense and shaking slightly, breathing with the telltale hitch of sobs. When the hand comes away from Cisco's face, there's no doubt that he's crying, his eyes red-rimmed and wet, and for a moment Eddie doesn't understand why.

Then Cisco asks that, his voice cracking with repressed tears and surprise, and Eddie gets it. That he should've come up sooner, that he should've left a note or something, so Cisco wouldn't think exactly what he's been thinking - that Eddie had left him again, without talking to him or taking his feelings into consideration.]

Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be awake yet.

[Licking his lips, he steps inside the room, crosses it to sit down on the edge of the bed. He's still wearing his pajamas from the night before, his hair a bit mussed, and he holds out one of the cups to Cisco, the one that is paler with cream and sweeter to the taste, and takes a sip from his own.]

I didn't mean to scare you. I just needed a little bit to think, you know?

[A pause, and he takes a little breath, looking down at his own knees.]

Last night was...really intense.

[Glancing at Cisco over the rim of his coffee mug, he holds his breath for just a second, eyes on his face, and then he reaches out with one hand to brush knuckles against his cheek.]

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry...

for eddie (cw drug use)

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco spends the morning setting up precautions. This whole exercise is a precaution, after all. Might as well be prepared for the experiment he was doing so he could be prepared. The biggest precaution is, of course, Eddie. Eddie had promised to stay with him, to watch over him and entertain him, keep him company, and take him to the hospital if things got really out of hand (Cisco is praying that won't be necessary). But while he's at the gym (and while the brownies are in the oven), Cisco gets everything else in order.

He'd decided his room was the best place - he feels safer here than anywhere else in the world. Cisco had cleaned up, washed his sheets and favorite blanket, and draped heavy picnic blankets over the usual curtains, to block outside light. He wants to be able to control the amount of stimulus. Even if there are no issues with his powers, he still isn't sure if the effects of the pot are going to be the same as they were the last time he'd gotten high. He's a few years older and he's got a whole new shiny case of PTSD, complete with occasional paranoia even without the influence of anything chemical. Doesn't hurt to be careful.

He has a variety of fun snacks laid out on his desk, and he is just starting to make himself a soothing playlist, when he hears Eddie come back, head to his room to shower. By the time Eddie is dressed and emerges from his room, Cisco is down in the kitchen, just getting the brownies from the oven. He pops his head up, asks: ]

Hey, you. You might checking for me if the stuff in the dryer's done? I heard it go off but it might need a couple more minutes...

[causational]

[When Eddie walks in from the gym, feeling a little fired up still, and a little nervous as well, the whole apartment smells like brownies. He can't help but smile a bit, shaking his head as his heart beats a bit harder - before he heads into the shower, he pokes his head into the kitchen to snoop, but Cisco's not there.

A quick shower later and he's emerging from his room dressed in a nice but comfortable pair of clean sweats, a hoodie and tank top, and bare feet. This time, when he pokes his head into the kitchen, Cisco is there, pulling out the brownies from the oven. Cisco smiles at him and asks him to check the dryer and Eddie nods, heading over there and opening it, pushing his hands inside and tumbling the clothes a bit. In the end, he decides to put it on for another five minutes before padding into the kitchen.]

It's a shame I have to stay sober. Those brownies smell so good.

[Leaning on the edge of the counter, he watches Cisco as he moves around, eyes on him to read his body language.]

Nervous?

for genji

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco shows up on the doorstep of Hana's place; he had finished making some small modifications to her beloved headset, and as promised had rushed over to return them as soon as possible. Obviously, he isn't about to just leave them outside, considering they could get stolen, but he still feels unaccountably nervous, ringing the doorbell. He should have texted ahead, made sure that Hana is here - if she isn't, he figures he will just have to take them back to his workshop and wait. ]

Yo, Hana, you there? It's Cisco!

[ He hadn't actually heard if the doorbell went off, and he rings it a second time just for good measure. ]

[flowlikewater]

[ Genji has just recently returned from Perimeter Guard duty, so he's still in his full cybernetic armor and uniform get up when there's a ring of the doorbell. His dear roommate is quite the social butterfly so that in itself isn't strange, even though he wasn't told to be expecting anybody.

So after the second ring, Genji reaches the door and peers through the peep hole just because. The name sounds... a little familiar? He opens the door casually, tilting his head a little as he does so. ]

She's not in right now. Can I help you with anything?