[open] i can't forget it

[franciscoramon]

who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all & soulmate stuff
when: september
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up at platoapproved!
warnings: will add as needed

[will add here]

Comments

[franciscoramon]

Yeah, well, you're dating me, so I already knew that.

[ Cisco laughs at his own self-deprecating joke, which is a pretty basic one, but feels like an ingenious conversational twist, to his somewhat impaired mind. He rests the bag of chips on his own stomach, closing his eyes and pushing his hair away from his face, because time seems to be doing something weird, stretching out and going by too slow, like he's suspended. But the feeling is fleeting, passes only after a few moments, and then Eddie's asking who would be on his punch list. ]

Hartley Rathaway. He was a bad guy but I wanna reserve the right even when he's not villaining. Ummm. That Viktor guy if he ever shows his face here again, for being such a dick to Yuri. And... you know, I kiiiinda want the third one to be Oliver Queen? Sorta poetic, right? Plus he can totally be a dick sometimes.

[causational]

Nope. I'm not hearing any of that. I have excellent taste in who I choose to date, I just hope that my track record of caring more about them than they care about me is over...

[It's a little sardonic, a lazy joke, but there's a certain level of seriousness behind it. Eddie's still feeling a bit tender about Iris, about Taako, about the fact that neither of them had wanted him as much as he wanted them, that neither had wanted something long-term. It feels different with Cisco, though, and he's hopeful, tentatively, that maybe this time it'll last for a long time, that this is something he'll have in his life for a long while.

Impulsively, he reaches out and catches Cisco's hand, squeezing it gently, and smiling at him adoringly.]

Good list, and I mean, it's not set in stone. You can change it whenever.

[A beat, and then Eddie speaks.]

Man, I can't think of anyone I'd want to...well, no, okay. Jamie Dodger. Maybe Barry, a little, because of Iris...can't think of a third right now...

[franciscoramon]

[ When Eddie says he has great taste, Cisco pauses in his snacking long enough to stick his tongue out, nose wrinkling a little as he does. Eddie's next comment may be meant as a joke, but Cisco just nods, making a small wordless noise of commiseration. ]

I always care about everybody so much more than they care about me. Not just people I'm dating, either. Everybody. Even my family.

[ It's the sort of truth he'd probably varnish, or deliver a little more delicately, if he were sober, but since he is not, he just... says it. Cisco's not speaking out of self-pity, either; there's a certainty and resignation to the way he pronounces it, like a fact from a textbook.

But he doesn't get too wrapped up in all that, because Eddie is holding his hand, and isn't that the most wonderful thing? Isn't it remarkable that human beings have hands, that hands fit together so perfectly? That his fingers laced with Eddie's look so right? ]

You can have Barry on your list. He's not perfect. Besides, he has healing powers so you wouldn't even have to feel bad. And your third can be tbd.

[ He enunciates each letter with relish. Cisco, abruptly tired of the chips, pushes them away and curls up on his side, asking - voice a little muffled from how his cheek is smooshed against the bed: ]

Can you be my big spoon for a little bit? I feel like I'm gonna float away.

[causational]

[When Cisco makes that noise and then comments that he cares about everyone more than they care about him, Eddie frowns a bit, lips pursing.]

Not me. I mean. I don't think you care about me more than I care about you.

[Eddie shrugs a bit, eyes flicking downward, smiling slightly, squeezing his hand gently, rubbing his thumb into the soft spaces between Cisco's knuckles.]

I care about you a lot. It's kind of ridiculous how much I just want to keep you safe and happy and see you smile. It's almost hard to believe you care about me that much too.

[Lifting Cisco's hand, he kisses the back of it while Cisco stops eating the chips and that he can have Barry on his list. Eddie smiles, glancing downward, his mouth curling into a warm smile.]

Do I get to punch him twice if he has healing powers?

[Eddie watches as Cisco rolls over onto his side, curls up and pulls up his knees, going into a loose fetal position, asks him to be his big spoon. When Cisco says he feels like he's going to float away, Eddie makes a soft noise of acknowledgement.]

Of course, babe.

[Lying down on his side, Eddie shifts and rests against Cisco's back, pressing in close to him, hooking his legs against the backs of Cisco's and draping an arm around him. Ducking his head forward, he makes a soft hum in his throat, inhales the scent of his hair for a moment.]

Mm, I like this. Holding you like this.

[Lifting a hand, he gently strokes back Cisco's hair from his cheek and the nape of his neck, tilts a bit so he can kiss the line of tendon in Cisco's neck.]

I like your hair and your neck and your jaw...

[It's soft, whispered.]

I won't let you float away. I've got you, babe.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco sighs a big, long, loud sigh when Eddie lays down behind him, anchoring him down, a warm and solid presence. If he hadn't been there, if Cisco had been alone, he might have become frightened, gotten agitated and scared. But Eddie is like a bungee cord, or a safety harness, keeping him from falling. As long as he's there, draped around Cisco, he's not going anywhere, and he can feel like he's floating without worrying he'll get lost. ]

You're a very good tether.

[ But there had been something he'd wanted to say - what had they even been talking about? Something about Barry? Maybe. Or was it... caring about each other? Sewing? It's all a bit of a jumble and Cisco can't keep it all straight. He thinks maybe he's a little too right now to talk very much. He's also too high to worry about being rude, or demanding. ]

Keep doing that.

[ It feels good, Eddie brushing his hair back, kissing his neck to softly like that. He lets his eyes slip closed, just enjoying the simple feeling of being held, of Eddie's mouth all warmth and gentleness against his neck. ]

[causational]

[Eddie can tell, when Cisco doesn't respond except to ask him to keep doing what he's doing, that he's probably crossed over the line from comfortable high to something a little more overwhelming, something that feels unsafe or threatening. So he stays still and keeps stroking Cisco's hair back, tucking it behind his ear, tracing the line of his jaw while Cisco's eyes sink shut and he melts into the bed.

It stays that way for a while, in a comfortable silence, with Eddie touching Cisco's hair, his jaw, his neck, the line of his collarbone, tracing the shape of his profile, his lips, kissing gently against his warm brown skin. Keeping Cisco safe while he floats, holding him gently in place while he hopefully enjoys the floating instead of being afraid of it.

And, quietly, Eddie murmurs, his voice soft.]

You're so pretty right now. You look so peaceful and soft and warm, and I love how your skin and your hair feels.

[franciscoramon]

[ Time doesn't seem to be flowing quite right, from Cisco's perspective, but the one thing that's constant is Eddie. Even when it feels as if a very long time has passed, Eddie remains there, anchoring him, kissing his jaw and shoulder and all over his face, inexpressibly sweet. It might be the drugs, but Cisco feels doted over, feels like he must be absolutely precious to Eddie right then. It's a strange, quiet, wonderful feeling. ]

You're the best, Eddie.

[ At some point, after what feels like weeks for Cisco, he stops feeling like he's going to drift away, and he twists, turning around so that he is facing Eddie and can settle in against his chest, nestling close and fitting perfectly. ]

Think I'm gonna sleep, now. Stay with me? Please?

[ Cisco is drifting off before he hears Eddie's answer, but he feels certain that Eddie will stay - that he would've even without Cisco asking him. ]