riverviewlogs | [open] i can't forget it

[ As Eddie is explaining, making his shy little suggestion, trailing off even before he gets to the good bit, it takes Cisco a moment to follow his meaning. In his defense, he is super high right now. When he gets it, though (mostly from the flush on Eddie's cheeks and the way he's evading actually finishing the thought), Cisco claps a hand over his mouth, saying rather bluntly: ]

Oh my god, you mean like, in your costume, and you swoop in to save the day, and then we fuck? 'Cause holy shit, yes. Yes times a bajillion. I would be so fucking into that, Eddie, for real. Like don't even talk to me about it right now I'm gonna get a boner.

[ Cisco's verbal filter isn't firing on all cylinders just at present. ]

It is too amazing, okay? Trust me. I've got- multiple pools of data. I've made superhero suits for like a dozen people, and I've also got my slutty slutty backstory, okay, so trust me. [ Cisco pokes himself in the chest, entirely earnest ] Butt. Expert.

[ When Eddie asks what else the suit would be able to do, Cisco blows out a breath, face crinkling up with a look of contemplation. ]

Biometrics so I can keep an eye on you. Comms. The regular stuff like that. Insulation to keep you warm, since you kinda come with a cold spot when you're doing the powers thing. Maybe luminescence, that you can control, for when it gets dark? Bulletproof, because like fuck am I letting anybody shoot you, even if you got that shield of yours. A tracker... maybe some stuff in the wrists to help focus the shield, ground it a little bit....?

[The moment Cisco gets it is very obvious - Cisco's not exactly subtle or tactful when he's high, and Eddie can't help but grin, because it's cute the way Cisco looks up at him with that expression on his face, his hand slapping over his mouth and glee in his eyes as he explains in much more blunt detail what the idea Eddie had was.]

That's what I meant. That I would swoop in and save the day and then we fuck, hard, maybe while I'm pushing you up against a wall. Still wearing the suit.

[Eddie gives Cisco a smug little grin, his chin rising, brows dropping a little, lashes fluttering, cheeks still flushed. It's bedroom eyes, without a doubt, and Eddie knows it's bad to tease Cisco like that, but he loves this. Loves seeing Cisco like this and talking about how much he likes Eddie's butt and how hot the idea of them having sex is.

With a little grin, he shakes his head, and leans in a bit as Cisco starts explaining what types of stuff he'd like to be going on in the suit - the comms, biometrics, insulation, bulletproof, a tracker, focusing tools, luminescence. That last one has Eddie's brows raising, and he blinks a bit.]

Whoa, that luminescence idea is cool. I could probably get extra energy from the light too, if I needed it.

[A pause, just a beat, and then there's an expression of realization on Eddie's face.]

Wait, did you ever make a costume for the Arrow?

[ Cisco listens, not taking his eyes off Eddie's as Eddie does not, indeed, stop talking about it, but adds more color to the idea. So Cisco merely bites down on his lower lip, swallowing visibly, because damn, if that doesn't strike him as just about irresistible. ]

Fuuucccck that sounds hot. I'd go crazy for that. Can we do that? Please? I really really wanna do that.

[ He wishes they could do it right now, this second. Sure, he's high enough that he's not sure he could stand up, and they have no kind of script agreed on for the scenario, and he hasn't even started to make Eddie's costume. But he wishes he could, and closes his eyes just for a moment so he can picture it.

It's Eddie's question about luminescence that jars him out of that. He brings up a good point, about how he seems to suck energy from everything around him, which might prove to be challenging, if he wants systems in Eddie's suit that run on power. Maybe... ]

Maybe something... for extra power. Like a failsafe battery for you to draw from.

[ Then Eddie is asking if he's made a costume for the Arrow and Cisco, not quite remembering the timeline of when he did that or really thinking about what info Eddie was ever privy to back home, makes a 'pfft' sound and says: ]

Yeah, obvs. I did Arrow, and Spartan, and Speedy, which is a really misleading name if you ask me. And... Black Canary, and White Canary, and Firestorm...

[ His brain isn't making the sort of intuitive and quick connections that it makes when he's sober, so he doesn't get why asking about Oliver's suit in particular might be relevant to the 'butt expert' portion of the conversation. ]

Of course we can do that, babe. It's why I suggested it.

[Eddie can't help his little grin, because he likes seeing Cisco this way, all worked up and a little dopey, a little silly, so open about what he's thinking and feeling.

It's even better when Cisco perks up at the mention of the luminescence, and starts talking about how they could have a failsafe battery to draw from, and Eddie thinks that the only thing as attractive as Cisco when he's happy and bright and full of sunshine is Cisco on his game, in his element, intelligent and sharp and bright and full of ideas.]

That sounds perfect. I mean, after thinking about it a bit, I'm pretty sure that what I'm doing is sort of...taking the heat or light or whatever's in the air, the energy, and turning it into that blue energy, inside me.

[He shrugs.]

At least, that's what it feels like.

[When Cisco starts rattling off all the superhero costumes he's made, Eddie's smile comes back, a little shy, his cheeks a bit pink again.]

Wow, I'm in some good company there. [A pause, and Eddie nervously licks his lips, tilting his head.] So uh, I have to ask. Who has a better butt? Oliver or me?

I'm gonna be thinking about that the whole time I'm making your suit, now. It's like... when people talk about baking for friends. A little love in every... frosting flower, or whatever. Except it'll be a little horniness in every stitch.

[ Okay, realistically that isn't the main motivation to make the suit, which Cisco had been planning on way before Eddie even suggested anything of the sort, but still. ]

I was thinking that, too. I think that's why your eyes glow, too - it's um. Byproduct of the conversion process happening inside you. Our bodies absorb energy and convert it into different forms all the time... yours is just doing it in this totally unique way that I don't even understand but I really want to. There could be so much stuff you're capable of that we don't even know, yet.

[ Even if it hadn't gone along with Cisco's own theories, though, he would believe Eddie's own report of what his powers are. Cisco knows from experience that feeling of just... awareness of what's going on when he uses his powers, even if he can't quite articulate it. He knows without even running any tests that he doesn't convert energy. Whatever he does to manipulate it, it's fundamentally different. He doesn't drain energy from any source, or change it into a different form. ]

Oh, you, for sure, are you kidding? By a mile. Oliver's barely got any more butt than Barry. And it's very... square.

Mmm, I think I'm okay with that, as long as there's love in there too, you know?

[Eddie offers a little smile, watching as Cisco shifts against the bed, as he looks at him and chatters about his thoughts on what Eddie's ability is and how interested he is in how it works. There's something about that interest that makes Eddie feel flattered and strangely proud, like there is something special about him. After all, he's not really used to Cisco being interested in him from a scientific or intellectual standpoint. Emotional, mental, physical, yes, but this is one of the first times Cisco has looked at him the way he used to look at Barry, and Eddie isn't used to it yet.

Holding his breath for a few moments, Eddie grins as he nods.]

That makes sense. And...if you want to study me or do tests or whatever, that's fine. I think I'm getting good enough where I could use it, and control myself so you can, you know. Scan me or whatever.

[A beat, and Eddie's expression goes hopeful as Cisco says that he has a better butt than Oliver, and some kind of tension unwinds in him.]

Oh. Oh good. Because he was on Iris' three list and after she actually met him I guess I always felt a little threatened. I mean. He's really handsome.

Oh yeah, definitely some of that, too.

[ If he were sober Cisco would spend those moments of quiet wondering what Eddie's thinking and feeling, trying to piece it together, asking questions, being curious. But right now he's not worried about a whole lot. He is hungry, though, so he rolls away from Eddie just long enough to grab a bag of chips from the foot of the bed, which seems like a pretty enormous effort. He opens them and starts eating with obvious, excessive, and vociferous happiness. ]

We should do tests. Lots more tests. The more tests I do the better I can understand how it works and the better I understand how it works the safer I can keep you and that's really important.

[ Cisco scoffs, when Eddie says he was threatened, which in a way is insensitive, but might also be a little flattering, too. It's not the scoff of of course you were, he's Oliver Queen, who wouldn't want him? but rather the scoff of why would you feel threatened when you're obviously so much better?. ]

You're a lot handsomer. I never got the three list thing. Celebrities are terrifying. I ran into Idris Elba once at the freakin' post office and I only shook his hand and that was way too much. I'd never wanna fuck a celebrity, even if I was single, and even if they were Idris-level hot.

[ That's the top tier of hot, and Eddie will know that because he's a man with eyes. ]

Can we have... a different kinda three list? I want - [ Cisco struggles a little to sit up a bit, leaning back against his elbows, dopey and happy, having a hard time getting the words out because he keeps interrupting himself with giggles. ] - to have a three list. Of people. I'm allowed to punch. Without you getting mad.

[ Cisco giggles at that for a while. It's funny because it's the opposite, and also because he's not really a very punch-inclined type of guy. He clarifies ]

I'm not talking about taking down bad guys either or self defense. I mean just people who I can smack right in the kisser and you won't arrest me or whatever.

Edited 2017-10-12 02:42 (UTC)

[Smiling to himself at Cisco being cute and promising to stitch love into his costume. It's endearing, the way Cisco says it, smiling at him and then going for the chips and starting to snack on them. Eddie can't help but, despite feeling a little silly for it, thinking about how Cisco had so readily agreed to make a costume for him with love in it. He's been thinking about that word a bit lately - but now's not the time to be thinking about that kind of thing, especially when it's only been a couple months since they started dating.

And he can't help but square his shoulders a little, swelling up a bit with pride when Cisco scoffs at the mere idea of Eddie feeling threatened by Oliver, like it's ridiculous, then says straight up that Eddie is more handsome and he doesn't get the three list thing. Eddie smiles a bit with relief at that, and while Cisco tells his story about Idris Elba, because the whole three list thing had been Iris' idea and he'd played along, but he doesn't even really remember who was on his. All he really remembers is having to narrow his choices to women because Iris hadn't known about him. At the time it had made sense; in hindsight, it's just uncomfortable.]

Even if they were Idris-level hot? Really? He is way, way hotter than I could ever hope to be. Then again, I thought Oliver Queen was too, so...maybe I don't have the best taste.

[Eddie's brows raise at the kind of three list that Cisco mentions, and he laughs.]

Absolutely. Who would your three be?

Yeah, well, you're dating me, so I already knew that.

[ Cisco laughs at his own self-deprecating joke, which is a pretty basic one, but feels like an ingenious conversational twist, to his somewhat impaired mind. He rests the bag of chips on his own stomach, closing his eyes and pushing his hair away from his face, because time seems to be doing something weird, stretching out and going by too slow, like he's suspended. But the feeling is fleeting, passes only after a few moments, and then Eddie's asking who would be on his punch list. ]

Hartley Rathaway. He was a bad guy but I wanna reserve the right even when he's not villaining. Ummm. That Viktor guy if he ever shows his face here again, for being such a dick to Yuri. And... you know, I kiiiinda want the third one to be Oliver Queen? Sorta poetic, right? Plus he can totally be a dick sometimes.

Nope. I'm not hearing any of that. I have excellent taste in who I choose to date, I just hope that my track record of caring more about them than they care about me is over...

[It's a little sardonic, a lazy joke, but there's a certain level of seriousness behind it. Eddie's still feeling a bit tender about Iris, about Taako, about the fact that neither of them had wanted him as much as he wanted them, that neither had wanted something long-term. It feels different with Cisco, though, and he's hopeful, tentatively, that maybe this time it'll last for a long time, that this is something he'll have in his life for a long while.

Impulsively, he reaches out and catches Cisco's hand, squeezing it gently, and smiling at him adoringly.]

Good list, and I mean, it's not set in stone. You can change it whenever.

[A beat, and then Eddie speaks.]

Man, I can't think of anyone I'd want to...well, no, okay. Jamie Dodger. Maybe Barry, a little, because of Iris...can't think of a third right now...

[ When Eddie says he has great taste, Cisco pauses in his snacking long enough to stick his tongue out, nose wrinkling a little as he does. Eddie's next comment may be meant as a joke, but Cisco just nods, making a small wordless noise of commiseration. ]

I always care about everybody so much more than they care about me. Not just people I'm dating, either. Everybody. Even my family.

[ It's the sort of truth he'd probably varnish, or deliver a little more delicately, if he were sober, but since he is not, he just... says it. Cisco's not speaking out of self-pity, either; there's a certainty and resignation to the way he pronounces it, like a fact from a textbook.

But he doesn't get too wrapped up in all that, because Eddie is holding his hand, and isn't that the most wonderful thing? Isn't it remarkable that human beings have hands, that hands fit together so perfectly? That his fingers laced with Eddie's look so right? ]

You can have Barry on your list. He's not perfect. Besides, he has healing powers so you wouldn't even have to feel bad. And your third can be tbd.

[ He enunciates each letter with relish. Cisco, abruptly tired of the chips, pushes them away and curls up on his side, asking - voice a little muffled from how his cheek is smooshed against the bed: ]

Can you be my big spoon for a little bit? I feel like I'm gonna float away.

[When Cisco makes that noise and then comments that he cares about everyone more than they care about him, Eddie frowns a bit, lips pursing.]

Not me. I mean. I don't think you care about me more than I care about you.

[Eddie shrugs a bit, eyes flicking downward, smiling slightly, squeezing his hand gently, rubbing his thumb into the soft spaces between Cisco's knuckles.]

I care about you a lot. It's kind of ridiculous how much I just want to keep you safe and happy and see you smile. It's almost hard to believe you care about me that much too.

[Lifting Cisco's hand, he kisses the back of it while Cisco stops eating the chips and that he can have Barry on his list. Eddie smiles, glancing downward, his mouth curling into a warm smile.]

Do I get to punch him twice if he has healing powers?

[Eddie watches as Cisco rolls over onto his side, curls up and pulls up his knees, going into a loose fetal position, asks him to be his big spoon. When Cisco says he feels like he's going to float away, Eddie makes a soft noise of acknowledgement.]

Of course, babe.

[Lying down on his side, Eddie shifts and rests against Cisco's back, pressing in close to him, hooking his legs against the backs of Cisco's and draping an arm around him. Ducking his head forward, he makes a soft hum in his throat, inhales the scent of his hair for a moment.]

Mm, I like this. Holding you like this.

[Lifting a hand, he gently strokes back Cisco's hair from his cheek and the nape of his neck, tilts a bit so he can kiss the line of tendon in Cisco's neck.]

I like your hair and your neck and your jaw...

[It's soft, whispered.]

I won't let you float away. I've got you, babe.

[ Cisco sighs a big, long, loud sigh when Eddie lays down behind him, anchoring him down, a warm and solid presence. If he hadn't been there, if Cisco had been alone, he might have become frightened, gotten agitated and scared. But Eddie is like a bungee cord, or a safety harness, keeping him from falling. As long as he's there, draped around Cisco, he's not going anywhere, and he can feel like he's floating without worrying he'll get lost. ]

You're a very good tether.

[ But there had been something he'd wanted to say - what had they even been talking about? Something about Barry? Maybe. Or was it... caring about each other? Sewing? It's all a bit of a jumble and Cisco can't keep it all straight. He thinks maybe he's a little too right now to talk very much. He's also too high to worry about being rude, or demanding. ]

Keep doing that.

[ It feels good, Eddie brushing his hair back, kissing his neck to softly like that. He lets his eyes slip closed, just enjoying the simple feeling of being held, of Eddie's mouth all warmth and gentleness against his neck. ]

[Eddie can tell, when Cisco doesn't respond except to ask him to keep doing what he's doing, that he's probably crossed over the line from comfortable high to something a little more overwhelming, something that feels unsafe or threatening. So he stays still and keeps stroking Cisco's hair back, tucking it behind his ear, tracing the line of his jaw while Cisco's eyes sink shut and he melts into the bed.

It stays that way for a while, in a comfortable silence, with Eddie touching Cisco's hair, his jaw, his neck, the line of his collarbone, tracing the shape of his profile, his lips, kissing gently against his warm brown skin. Keeping Cisco safe while he floats, holding him gently in place while he hopefully enjoys the floating instead of being afraid of it.

And, quietly, Eddie murmurs, his voice soft.]

You're so pretty right now. You look so peaceful and soft and warm, and I love how your skin and your hair feels.

[ Time doesn't seem to be flowing quite right, from Cisco's perspective, but the one thing that's constant is Eddie. Even when it feels as if a very long time has passed, Eddie remains there, anchoring him, kissing his jaw and shoulder and all over his face, inexpressibly sweet. It might be the drugs, but Cisco feels doted over, feels like he must be absolutely precious to Eddie right then. It's a strange, quiet, wonderful feeling. ]

You're the best, Eddie.

[ At some point, after what feels like weeks for Cisco, he stops feeling like he's going to drift away, and he twists, turning around so that he is facing Eddie and can settle in against his chest, nestling close and fitting perfectly. ]

Think I'm gonna sleep, now. Stay with me? Please?

[ Cisco is drifting off before he hears Eddie's answer, but he feels certain that Eddie will stay - that he would've even without Cisco asking him. ]

[open] i can't forget it

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