Open - AU Event

[idolpire]

who: Spike and whomever
what: AU event - Spike has a soul and is a little crazy because of it
when: 15-24 June
where: His crypt, the abandoned city, alleys in Quarantine.
warnings: Spike is going to be going through some 'stuff' with regaining his soul for this event and will have been tormented by a canon evil for months beforehand, so he'll be semi-lucid to completely off his rocker. This will involve language, mentions of violence and things he's done in the past, self flagellation/self harm, possibly sexual propositions (easily turned down), and unpredictable reactions from him.

In Town - Resouled:
[It happens while he's in town on the evening of the fifteenth. He'd opted to show up for work that night, wanting to see what all the fuss was about and whether or not he could pull it off, or if he wanted to. Heading into the market to pick up something to eat, he felt it. Felt as if he was lifted up off the ground, then turned upside down and tossed around like a rag doll. Images flooded his mind, time passed that he didn't remember. Moments involving the bane of his existence, then a searing, blinding pain that had him dropping to the ground in an aisle, both hands to his head as he struggled with memories and pain. It wasn't the chip. It couldn't be. He hadn't even been thinking about hurting anyone. No, the pain was deeper, moving into the core of him. His hands scrabbled under his shirt, clawing at his chest as if he could get it out. With the pain and confusion came the realization of what it was. What had happened.

Buffy. Sunnydale. The pair of them. Her death. Her resurrection. Them. That moment in the bathroom -- nausea from that, then... the trials. That bloody demon. The burning pain of his soul. Oh. Oh, god no. No. Months in the basement of the new highschool. Months of memories of reliving all his sins, of an evil power whispering things into his ear to drive him mad.

Then reality shifted and he was there, back on that place he'd found himself in, on the ground with the shop keeper coming over to ask him if he was well.]

Not well. Not ever well again. It burns.

In Town - Lost:
[There wasn't the same power here to whisper in his mind, but the damage had been done. Spike finally left the market, wandering out into the city, confused about what was reality and what was all the noise and clutter in his head. A part of him was trying to tell him he had a place here, somewhere to go where it was quiet, but it was hard to hear that part over all the other things clamoring for attention in his mind.

For the next few days/nights, Spike could be found in town in a worsening state. During the day, he might find himself down in the sewer, or windowless rooms or places that would let him stay safe from the sun. He'd be ignoring the device tucked in his pocket, and might be found at any point of the day/night talking or yelling to himself. There's also a possibility of him hurting himself or bearing visible attempts at it. He'll have moments of lucidity that will get longer the longer he's away from The First Evil.]

Home:
[Eventually, he'll remember where he's staying and wind up going there. Anyone who knows where he lives or follows him home will easily find him holed up as he tries to figure out how to exist with a soul now. All in all, Spike's going to be a pathetic wreck of a loser for the rest of this event.]


[Note: As this event will deal with self harm and questionable topics, please let me know what you are or are not comfortable dealing with. I'm available via PM to hash out the specifics.

Comments

In Town

[aeturnus]

[ One thing Romulus notices over the few days since things get weird is that he finds it easier to travel around the city at nighttime. Fewer people stop him for looking nervous and out of place at night, where it's more common for those unused to the relatively safe streets to be unsure that it's real. He can't help being nervous because being separated from his brother is like someone cut his heart in two and what do you do with only half a heart? His missing him for sure, but he still has to do something and curling up in the shared floor is just as nerve-wracking. He's free here, but what does that mean?

Easier to pretend when there aren't people who expect him to be like he was before, anyway. Whatever "before" was because before was with his brother, back home, where it was simple. So he winds in and out of the streets and alleys and explores, tries out this feeling that he can go anywhere (except where it's dangerous because he does, actually, know better than that) and that's something new.

Something new is finding someone with bright white hair talking to air down the way, and he's not sure what to do with that. It seems bad. He steps forward a bit before hesitating and calling out. ]

Hello? Sir?

[idolpire]

[Was that a sound? Something breaks through those voices he hears in his head, all the ones telling him how wrong he is. How bad and stupid and wrong and oh, no, no touching the girl. His head jerks up, blurry vision from tears blocking him from seeing where a voice might come from. There's no body. No person to hurt or hurt him. Not that he can see.

Spike laughs, head falling back to hit the wall of the alley, crouching down until his back is to the wall and he's half curled up in the night, laughing up at stars he can't see.]

One spark among a thousand. A soul and a star. I wonder what Dru would have to say about that.

[aeturnus]

[ That's... concerning. Romulus has no qualms in helping others unless he's held back, and the one who usually does that isn't here (the one who usually does a lot to help complete him isn't here) so he moves forward when the figure simply curls up against the wall. He's slow to approach but doesn't hesitate, either. ]

Sir, what's the matter?

[idolpire]

No matter. No cause. No reason to be...

[Spike's rocking back and forth, arms curling around himself as he dips his head down to rest it on his knee, hearing whispers accompany that quiet question, whispers that are all floating around in his mind. Whispers that turn to screams.]

[aeturnus]

[ Well, he's not lashing out and is in fact doing the opposite so Romulus comes closer. He's concerned about someone so unwell being out on his own. Someone should be taking care of him, and Romulus isn't qualified to do that but perhaps he can find someone who is. ]

No reason to be what?

[idolpire]

To be, you prat. To be or not to be. Always a question, and I have no bloody answers.

[aeturnus]

[ Now he's close enough. Kneels down about two feet away and tries to move his head to get a better look at the man's face. ]

That doesn't sound like the right question to me.

[idolpire]

William wrote it. Wrong William. I'm William, but I'm not anymore. Both William's are cold in the ground. Dead and rotting. I should rot, but the spark just burns.

[Spike doesn't make any move to look away, but he's not looking towards the newcomer either.]

[aeturnus]

[ Both a blessing and a curse that he's not moving. Romulus stays where he is for now. ]

William... [ No, actually. Wait. Something in his mind is churning around and he knows this. The voice and the hair and a name. Not William anymore. ] Spike, this is not a good place to be by yourself.

[idolpire]

[Both names ring true for him, making him lift his head to stare at a face that was both strange and familiar all at once.]

I don't know you. I don't know you, you can't know my name. Not both names. Not the old and the new. You're not here. You're not in my head.

[A moment, another frown, another attempt to pull himself out of that shattered past.]

You're in there. Somewhere. A corner that's not supposed to be.

[aeturnus]

Right... I don't know you well, but I do know you.

[ Romulus frowns, but meets Spike's eyes and tries to hold his gaze. Whatever's there and not, he wants to help. Those who have lost their mind are oftentimes dangerous but the ones who aren't instead become pitiable. ]

I'm right here. So are you.

[idolpire]

[There was a frown, as if he was picking apart what the man in front of him was saying.]

Not supposed to be here. Wasn't here. Was with the girl. Then the darkness. It devours me -- it wants to devour her, devour them all. Bloody hell...

[His head fell forwards into his hands, a low keening sound of grief coming from him.]

[aeturnus]

I shouldn't be here, either...

[ Romulus pauses, then shifts and moves closer again. It's not a good idea but mayhap it will help. ]

But we're here.

/rolls up in here days late with starbucks [ in town ]

[couldkillthedevil]

[Monsters or no, the Quarantine seems to have its own oddities inside its walls. After the outbreak of changes some people have been going through, she's been extra cautious, and more than a little on edge. It's a mix of everything, really; being caught in a magical portal to some distant moon, finding out her partner is actually Satan himself, and meeting a whole slew of people that ranged from mutants, to teenagers sent to different worlds, or to people just like herself who were just trying to make due. All of it blows her world wide open until she's left trying to make all the pieces fit again.

So as she walks through town that day, the rummaging around in the alley catches her attention. The sudden yelling has her quietly laying a hand over her gun as she approaches, ready to pull it out at a moment's notice if need be.]

Who's there?

You're never too late.

[idolpire]

[Spike was going through waves of lucidity, trapped in the alley until the sun dropped low enough that he could skirt through the shadows to somewhere safer. He'd been awake since he'd woken up with that burning ember of a shard lodged inside him, which wasn't exactly making the situation better. Hands in his hair, mussing up platinum curls as he kicked at a trashcan, yelling at it as if it was the cause of all his problems. In his mind, Angelus was there, laughing at him, mocking him for being such an infant over a tiny little soul.]

Not like you did any better! You loved her. Loved her less than I did, but the soul makes you want it, you bloody git!

[He stopped when he heard a voice. A woman's voice, calling to him from further away than he was used to hearing recently. No whispers of lies in his ears. No faces that bled from one to another. Not just then. Just then, it was a woman calling out -- and he laughed.]

Dunno. Dunno who I am right now. Dunno what I am. It's not right. It's all wrong right now and I don't know.

[couldkillthedevil]

[Chloe narrows her eyes at the man, watching him kick at the trashcan and talk to himself as if someone else is there with him. She doesn't move any closer for a moment, instead opting to just assess him quietly, her hand kept at her belt. He doesn't seem dangerous to her, but he is certainly unpredictable. Drunk? On drugs, maybe? Both? She can't tell.

However, when he speaks again, it's like he's finally noticing her for the very first time. She takes another tentative step towards him, figuring he needs help. Maybe a professional.]

Hey. Sir? Just calm down for me, alright? It'll all be okay. You don't know your name?

[idolpire]

[He laughed, tipping his head back and laughing up into the air, until he opened his eyes and the glare of light from the day had him flinching away.]

She calls me sir, like I'm a real boy. Dead is dead. Am I a real boy now? Got the spark again. Got that bit of me back. Does that make me real, or am I still just a dead puppet?

[The first bit was said to the wall, said to himself. The latter was said to her, as if she might actually know the answer.]

[couldkillthedevil]

All of this is real. You're real. And alive.

[She reached a hand out towards him cautiously, motioning between them.]

Is there somewhere you can go? Or someone you want me to call for you? A friend, maybe?

[idolpire]

Am not. Haven't been for a good while.

[It was the truth, and that truth he could cling to, hold onto, make sense of as he looked at her inching towards him like he was a feral thing to be frightened of. Another truth. He was bad, dirty, evil, and yet he burned so brightly inside, he hurt just existing.]

Can't go. Too bright. Might be better if I just dusted away...

[couldkillthedevil]

Too bright?

[Her brows knit together in confusion as she stared at him, quietly assessing. Daylight still crested over the town, but night would be settling in soon. She took another couple steps towards him, reaching out as if to beckon him towards her.]

It'll be nighttime soon. Why don't you just come with me to the station, and we'll figure it out from there? No one wants you to 'dust' away.

[idolpire]

Can't! Told you. It'll burn. Sunlight leaves a fire trail, then there's nothing but dust.

[He took a step back, shoulders hunching as if he expected her to land a blow or drag him out into the sun that still lit the streets.]

[couldkillthedevil]

[She stopped her movements, knowing not to approach someone who didn't want to be touched.]

Fire trail? What, you some kind of vampire or something?

[Oh, god. Was he? If the Devil could exist, then maybe...? She would've laughed at her own predicament if she weren't busy trying to calm down a madman from... dusting himself.]

[idolpire]

Some kind. Broken kind. I got it back and it's too much. It reminds me of what I did.

[A soft sigh, then he looks up at her, confused.]

Can't you see that? That it's all wrong and off and I'm not right?

[couldkillthedevil]

[If she had less of a filter, she probably would've muttered a dry 'obviously', but she wanted to actually see results here, not send him into another spiral.]

Got what back? What did you do?

[Had he hurt someone? If that was the case, then he absolutely needed to be taken in for questioning. And a mental health assessment, of course.]

[idolpire]

My bloody soul. Not meant to have one. Not meant to. It died when I did and now it's back and it's for the girl and I was bad...

[Chloe. Come on. He was a vampire. Of course he'd hurt someone. Gosh.]

And now I'm here where I wasn't before. This isn't mine. But the voices... they're not so loud. No melting liar to try to tell me things I don't want to hear.