Spike (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
idolpire) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2017-06-15 02:32 am
idolpire) wrote in riverviewlogs2017-06-15 02:32 am
Open - AU Event
who: Spike and whomever
what: AU event - Spike has a soul and is a little crazy because of it
when: 15-24 June
where: His crypt, the abandoned city, alleys in Quarantine.
warnings: Spike is going to be going through some 'stuff' with regaining his soul for this event and will have been tormented by a canon evil for months beforehand, so he'll be semi-lucid to completely off his rocker. This will involve language, mentions of violence and things he's done in the past, self flagellation/self harm, possibly sexual propositions (easily turned down), and unpredictable reactions from him.
In Town - Resouled:
[It happens while he's in town on the evening of the fifteenth. He'd opted to show up for work that night, wanting to see what all the fuss was about and whether or not he could pull it off, or if he wanted to. Heading into the market to pick up something to eat, he felt it. Felt as if he was lifted up off the ground, then turned upside down and tossed around like a rag doll. Images flooded his mind, time passed that he didn't remember. Moments involving the bane of his existence, then a searing, blinding pain that had him dropping to the ground in an aisle, both hands to his head as he struggled with memories and pain. It wasn't the chip. It couldn't be. He hadn't even been thinking about hurting anyone. No, the pain was deeper, moving into the core of him. His hands scrabbled under his shirt, clawing at his chest as if he could get it out. With the pain and confusion came the realization of what it was. What had happened.
Buffy. Sunnydale. The pair of them. Her death. Her resurrection. Them. That moment in the bathroom -- nausea from that, then... the trials. That bloody demon. The burning pain of his soul. Oh. Oh, god no. No. Months in the basement of the new highschool. Months of memories of reliving all his sins, of an evil power whispering things into his ear to drive him mad.
Then reality shifted and he was there, back on that place he'd found himself in, on the ground with the shop keeper coming over to ask him if he was well.]
Not well. Not ever well again. It burns.
In Town - Lost:
[There wasn't the same power here to whisper in his mind, but the damage had been done. Spike finally left the market, wandering out into the city, confused about what was reality and what was all the noise and clutter in his head. A part of him was trying to tell him he had a place here, somewhere to go where it was quiet, but it was hard to hear that part over all the other things clamoring for attention in his mind.
For the next few days/nights, Spike could be found in town in a worsening state. During the day, he might find himself down in the sewer, or windowless rooms or places that would let him stay safe from the sun. He'd be ignoring the device tucked in his pocket, and might be found at any point of the day/night talking or yelling to himself. There's also a possibility of him hurting himself or bearing visible attempts at it. He'll have moments of lucidity that will get longer the longer he's away from The First Evil.]
Home:
[Eventually, he'll remember where he's staying and wind up going there. Anyone who knows where he lives or follows him home will easily find him holed up as he tries to figure out how to exist with a soul now. All in all, Spike's going to be a pathetic wreck of a loser for the rest of this event.]
[Note: As this event will deal with self harm and questionable topics, please let me know what you are or are not comfortable dealing with. I'm available via PM to hash out the specifics.
what: AU event - Spike has a soul and is a little crazy because of it
when: 15-24 June
where: His crypt, the abandoned city, alleys in Quarantine.
warnings: Spike is going to be going through some 'stuff' with regaining his soul for this event and will have been tormented by a canon evil for months beforehand, so he'll be semi-lucid to completely off his rocker. This will involve language, mentions of violence and things he's done in the past, self flagellation/self harm, possibly sexual propositions (easily turned down), and unpredictable reactions from him.
In Town - Resouled:
[It happens while he's in town on the evening of the fifteenth. He'd opted to show up for work that night, wanting to see what all the fuss was about and whether or not he could pull it off, or if he wanted to. Heading into the market to pick up something to eat, he felt it. Felt as if he was lifted up off the ground, then turned upside down and tossed around like a rag doll. Images flooded his mind, time passed that he didn't remember. Moments involving the bane of his existence, then a searing, blinding pain that had him dropping to the ground in an aisle, both hands to his head as he struggled with memories and pain. It wasn't the chip. It couldn't be. He hadn't even been thinking about hurting anyone. No, the pain was deeper, moving into the core of him. His hands scrabbled under his shirt, clawing at his chest as if he could get it out. With the pain and confusion came the realization of what it was. What had happened.
Buffy. Sunnydale. The pair of them. Her death. Her resurrection. Them. That moment in the bathroom -- nausea from that, then... the trials. That bloody demon. The burning pain of his soul. Oh. Oh, god no. No. Months in the basement of the new highschool. Months of memories of reliving all his sins, of an evil power whispering things into his ear to drive him mad.
Then reality shifted and he was there, back on that place he'd found himself in, on the ground with the shop keeper coming over to ask him if he was well.]
Not well. Not ever well again. It burns.
In Town - Lost:
[There wasn't the same power here to whisper in his mind, but the damage had been done. Spike finally left the market, wandering out into the city, confused about what was reality and what was all the noise and clutter in his head. A part of him was trying to tell him he had a place here, somewhere to go where it was quiet, but it was hard to hear that part over all the other things clamoring for attention in his mind.
For the next few days/nights, Spike could be found in town in a worsening state. During the day, he might find himself down in the sewer, or windowless rooms or places that would let him stay safe from the sun. He'd be ignoring the device tucked in his pocket, and might be found at any point of the day/night talking or yelling to himself. There's also a possibility of him hurting himself or bearing visible attempts at it. He'll have moments of lucidity that will get longer the longer he's away from The First Evil.]
Home:
[Eventually, he'll remember where he's staying and wind up going there. Anyone who knows where he lives or follows him home will easily find him holed up as he tries to figure out how to exist with a soul now. All in all, Spike's going to be a pathetic wreck of a loser for the rest of this event.]
[Note: As this event will deal with self harm and questionable topics, please let me know what you are or are not comfortable dealing with. I'm available via PM to hash out the specifics.
no subject
I'm a slave. ... I guess, back home, but I'm not-not a slave here.
no subject
[The finger trails up along the end of the life line all the way to his wrist, Spike looking up at Cain as he feels the pulse there.]
Living...
no subject
[ Just because his master isn't here doesn't mean his life is suddenly invalidated. When Spike's hand moves, his breath hitches and he looks at the other man uncertainly. ]
Right. Living. We're living right now.
no subject
[A correction as Spike shakes his head.]
You're living. I lost that too long ago to count now. Dead and buried and crawled out myself. Do you know what worms and earth taste like? What fear is when you wake and there's nothing but a box above you and no one hears you scream? Clawed my hands bloody against it before I got out. Bloody and to the bone and she stood over me laughing to welcome me to the night.
[Spike took his hand back, both lifting to cover the back of his head as he curled it into his knees, hiding it from Cain.]
The things I did. The things I did for her...
no subject
She's not here. You can do what you want.
[ Will that even work? Because it hasn't for Romulus, but he doesn't know what else to say. Maybe it's different when you regret it. ]
Spike, please.
no subject
[A sing-song voice spoken quietly to himself, muffled against his knees as he rocked for a moment. Then stopped.]
Please what?
[Said this time to Cain as he looked up at him.]
no subject
[ It sounds trite but being out alone and hidden in the dark is never a good place to be. ]
Don't you have somewhere to go?
no subject
no subject
[ He doesn't understand the talk about the sun, much like a lot of the rest of this has gone over his head. He doesn't want to just leave Spike here alone, though. ]
no subject
Not sure of much of anything, am I?