Open - AU Event

[idolpire]

who: Spike and whomever
what: AU event - Spike has a soul and is a little crazy because of it
when: 15-24 June
where: His crypt, the abandoned city, alleys in Quarantine.
warnings: Spike is going to be going through some 'stuff' with regaining his soul for this event and will have been tormented by a canon evil for months beforehand, so he'll be semi-lucid to completely off his rocker. This will involve language, mentions of violence and things he's done in the past, self flagellation/self harm, possibly sexual propositions (easily turned down), and unpredictable reactions from him.

In Town - Resouled:
[It happens while he's in town on the evening of the fifteenth. He'd opted to show up for work that night, wanting to see what all the fuss was about and whether or not he could pull it off, or if he wanted to. Heading into the market to pick up something to eat, he felt it. Felt as if he was lifted up off the ground, then turned upside down and tossed around like a rag doll. Images flooded his mind, time passed that he didn't remember. Moments involving the bane of his existence, then a searing, blinding pain that had him dropping to the ground in an aisle, both hands to his head as he struggled with memories and pain. It wasn't the chip. It couldn't be. He hadn't even been thinking about hurting anyone. No, the pain was deeper, moving into the core of him. His hands scrabbled under his shirt, clawing at his chest as if he could get it out. With the pain and confusion came the realization of what it was. What had happened.

Buffy. Sunnydale. The pair of them. Her death. Her resurrection. Them. That moment in the bathroom -- nausea from that, then... the trials. That bloody demon. The burning pain of his soul. Oh. Oh, god no. No. Months in the basement of the new highschool. Months of memories of reliving all his sins, of an evil power whispering things into his ear to drive him mad.

Then reality shifted and he was there, back on that place he'd found himself in, on the ground with the shop keeper coming over to ask him if he was well.]

Not well. Not ever well again. It burns.

In Town - Lost:
[There wasn't the same power here to whisper in his mind, but the damage had been done. Spike finally left the market, wandering out into the city, confused about what was reality and what was all the noise and clutter in his head. A part of him was trying to tell him he had a place here, somewhere to go where it was quiet, but it was hard to hear that part over all the other things clamoring for attention in his mind.

For the next few days/nights, Spike could be found in town in a worsening state. During the day, he might find himself down in the sewer, or windowless rooms or places that would let him stay safe from the sun. He'd be ignoring the device tucked in his pocket, and might be found at any point of the day/night talking or yelling to himself. There's also a possibility of him hurting himself or bearing visible attempts at it. He'll have moments of lucidity that will get longer the longer he's away from The First Evil.]

Home:
[Eventually, he'll remember where he's staying and wind up going there. Anyone who knows where he lives or follows him home will easily find him holed up as he tries to figure out how to exist with a soul now. All in all, Spike's going to be a pathetic wreck of a loser for the rest of this event.]


[Note: As this event will deal with self harm and questionable topics, please let me know what you are or are not comfortable dealing with. I'm available via PM to hash out the specifics.

Comments

[couldkillthedevil]

['Stay, good vampire' has never been more apt than right now.

She doesn't leave him alone for long. It's not hard to track down a nearby store that's still open and sells what she's looking for, though the shopkeeper does give her a look of inquiry as she strolls in right towards their blanket and sheets section. When she returns, she's holding said blanket out to him. Her voice carries a tone of finality to it, as if she doesn't want or expect him to protest.]

Here. This should be long enough to cover most of you, at least.

[idolpire]

[He was unsure as he stood there waiting for her, unsure if she was really real or if this was a test. A joke. A lie waiting to show him for the fool he was. But she came back, a blanket held up for him that he took, cautiously, and moved to drape it over his head. The look he gave her was almost childish in its naivety, it's pure open uncertainty of anything.]

Where are we going?

[couldkillthedevil]

The station. To figure out where you're supposed to be.

[There would be records of him somewhere, including where he lives. Better than letting him wander the streets in some sort of fog. Though she does notice that he seems distinctly more present in the moment, so she can't help but give a go at it again.]

Unless you want to just tell me where that is?

[idolpire]

I go where I want.

[There was a lick of memory about somewhere abandoned, past a fence, the quiet of no life but his and the critters teasing at him, but he shook it off.]

We don't have homes. We just exist.

[couldkillthedevil]

Not homes, then. [Not really 'live', either, if the vampire thing is true.] But you reside somewhere. Somewhere you go to every day.

[idolpire]

[Tucking the blanket over him, he frowned, trying to think past the broken memories. Here, but not here. It was so scattered in his head. He'd been here. He knew he had. But then he hadn't been and now he was. Had time passed? It had for him -- hadn't it?]

Doesn't matter. One hole's as good as another.

[couldkillthedevil]

Right. Of course it wouldn't be that easy.

[Whatever happened to him had obviously done a number on him. Or he'd done a number on others and that was coming back to haunt him. Either way, it looked like a trip to the station couldn't be avoided at this point.]

That what you've always done? Just find some hole to crawl into?

[idolpire]

Some times. Not... I can't remember right. I've been here before. I think. Unless it was another dream or a lie. It's not sitting right in my head.

[He wondered if this wasn't what Dru felt like most of the times and an odd little laugh bubbled up inside him at the thought.]

[couldkillthedevil]

[She glanced over at him and his odd little display; didn't seem like anything to be worried about, besides his mental health, but that was already a given. As they wandered through the town back to the precinct, she couldn't help but try to take advantage of his current lucidity.]

If you remember it, you were probably here. Do you remember your name, at least? Or will I have to look that up too?

[idolpire]

[As they walked, instinct and habit took over, Spike leading her to stay on the side of the street that provided the most shade, hurrying across the crosswalks where they were in direct sun. If it hit them at all, she might well notice the curls and wisps of smoke wafting up from the blanket.]

Spike.

[Then in answer to her other non-question.]

Not all memories are truths, love. Even the good ones can be a lie.

[couldkillthedevil]

[She did notice them and didn't comment, though she did occasionally glance at him as if in fascination.

But then he finally gave her his name and called her 'love', just like someone else she knows did, which catches her off guard. As does the sudden nature of his statement.]

Sounds like you've got experience, then. With memories being false.

[idolpire]

Happens with witches. False memories. False worlds. False everything. Or demons. Make you see things, hear things, feel things.

[Paired with his own confusion and guilt and the slight bit of madness that was edging around his mind, he was truly speaking from experience -- and not entirely sure this world was as real as the one beside him thought it was.]

[couldkillthedevil]

Oh, so you've got witches and demons where you're from, too. Perfect.

[The line is delivered a bit dryly, though she'd like to think she's doing a better job of not appearing as skeptical as before. It'd be hard to, considering the things she's seen while here.]

I don't know about false memories, but I can assure you that everything that's going on right now is real... which is apparently something I've come to accept. [A huff.] Funny how that works, I guess.

[idolpire]

Likely have anything you can think of.

[It had seemed that way to him, anyway. But the woman is speaking and he's listening, like a good boy, and watching her try to walk her way through what was apparently new to her.]

You might have them. Just might not know. Lots of people don't. Don't know. Don't want to see. Makes it easier to sleep at night and send your kiddies off to school.

[couldkillthedevil]

Yeah, well, apparently I've sent my kid off to school with the Devil himself before and had no idea. His demon's even taken her trick-or-treating once. So I wouldn't put it past the universe to pull something like that.

[idolpire]

... Really? You met the big guy in red?

[Well. Color Spike impressed. Somewhat.]

Now, is this 'the' Devil, or 'a' Devil. Bit of a difference, you know. And as for demons... well. There's every shade of the evil-bow to choose from there.

[couldkillthedevil]

The Devil. Actually ran Hell for billions of years before he came to LA. Though from what I've been told, each world is a little different. He might not be the same as yours. If you even have one.

[She was talking to a vampire about her Satanic partner as if this was all perfectly normal. What has her life come to.]

And yeah, well. This particular shade was my roommate, so, apparently that's a Hell I crafted for myself.

[idolpire]

Why is it always bloody LA?

[A little of his old self peeked through there, eyes rolling where she couldn't see it behind the blanket.]

I see that hasn't changed much, eh? No matter the world, we make our own worst Hell.

[couldkillthedevil]

It's the city where people come to reinvent themselves, supposedly. Or it's just for the flashing lights and indulgent entertainment business.

[She couldn't see his eyeroll, but she heard his disdainful tone well enough. A smile touched her lips despite herself.]

It could be worse.

[idolpire]

Oh? Do tell.

[Other than Angel being here, which, soul or not, he'd still try to stake the wanker if he wound up showing his stupid brooding bulging foreheaded self.]

[couldkillthedevil]

I could be dead, for one. I almost was, if not for said Devil and demon.

[idolpire]

Dead's not so bad. Sometimes... sometimes that's what it takes to let you live properly.

[He spoke from experience, Chloe. Maybe you should listen to him.]

[couldkillthedevil]

[Mmm... sorry, Spike, but no dice.]

Not for me. I've got a daughter who needs me. "Living properly" is me being there for her.

[idolpire]

You're a mum?

[Huh. She seemed young to him, but then again, he'd never really had a good handle on ages entirely. When you live past a certain date, it just all muddled together.]

[couldkillthedevil]

You sound surprised.

[Perhaps there was a tinge of amusement in her tone as she glanced over at him.]