(closed) tell me you've never loved me, tell me it was just a lie

[ikols]

who: loki and billy
what: escapades
when: llllate because NERDING OUT HAS NO CURFEW and neither does thievery
where: sanctum sanctorum
warnings: tba

[ With the sleeves of his shirt smoking and hair singed, a burn stripes down one side of Loki's face from temple to jaw as he barges into the Sanctum at ass o'clock, stripping off his coat to stamp on the blackened parts. Shit. The shadowthread will need reworking. That's going to be time-consuming. His hot vest makes a loud clatter when he dumps the too-warm scalemaille in haste, climbing the stairs as he makes his way toward a working bathroom (not the acid one). By the time he passes multiple doors and makes it to his destination, his eye is stinging and Loki drops to his knees by the sink, elbows hooked over the edge.

When he isn't so dazed he stands and peers into the mirror at the mess several would-be Hel Hounds have made of him, their breath particularly nostalgic from a bird's-eye perspective but never so close up. They weren't purebreds, of course, some moon-twisted Silent Hill remake of Thori, more like split-mouthed hyenas than anything ...

He's glad those jaws never took purchase. He would have totally shredded his coat, never mind his arm.

Making more noise than usual as he goes about washing his wound, disorientated, the godling yelps and curses without any volume control because either Sam is around visiting Stephen and will come by to help or Loki is home alone while the sorcerer is off with his squeeze on a horrendously normal date. Blood drips red onto ceramic, a sheen of blue caught in it when the electric lights shine a certain way.

Above all, Loki sincerely hopes there is some ice cream left in the unchained fridge. ]

Comments

[wiccant]

Don't apologize because you got hurt.

( that's stupid, and unneeded. it's not as if loki came in here covered in blood and guts just because he knew billy was in here. he takes the towel when it's offered, focuses his eyes on the mess that is the gunk right under it.

billy does get to his feet, moves to the sink and turns it on despite all the blood in that, too--tests the temperature before moving the cloth under it to get it cooled down once more. )

You do realize that not letting me heal it is just going to get me to fuss over you more, right.

[ikols]

I could lock myself in my room.

[ It's a viable option; he has his own en suite. Billy could feasibly destroy any ward but the symbolism alone would keep him out. ]

[wiccant]

I could break your door.

( the cloth has been recooled, so he's. moving back in front of loki, moving to press it back against his face. )

[ikols]

You wouldn't.

[ He tries to avoid contact while taking the cloth back, dispirited as he thinks back to Tony's anxious fussing and how badly those forehead-kisses are missed tonight. You need to take care of yourself, Starshine. He leans forward on his knees, falling quiet as he wallows in past memories and present pains. ]

[wiccant]

There are a lot of things I would do when someone's hurt and bleeding that I wouldn't do normally.

( like wish someone dead. loki is avoiding him, and it pisses him off even more--especially after how clingy he'd been just before. billy takes in a deep breath, moves his hands to brace them on the tub on either side of loki and leans into him, closer. )

Please let me help.

[ikols]

[ The nearness has him shying away by inches, avoiding eye-contact. His hands draw in, bringing the towel with them, and Loki retreats into himself like a fox down a hole, lashes shuttering. ]

I want to finish cleaning up. I can do it.

[ His chin jerks toward the door. ]

Head back to the library, Billy. I'll ... meet you there.

[wiccant]

Uh. No? I'm not leaving you here like this. Look at yourself, Loki.

( he's not only wounded, but he's--withdrawing. something billy has a deep understanding for. he does the same thing, more often than not. crawls in on himself and refuses to come out, for anyone. there's no way he's letting loki do the same now. he has to move out of himself to jerk his chin like that, so billy takes the opportunity to lean in further, presses his forehead against the unwounded part of loki's own. )

Listen. This is happening one of two ways, okay? I'm going to raise my hand, heal you, or I'm going to stay here and help clean you up. Then we can go to the library, and I'll reintroduce you to Elliot, who I left by himself surrounded by a bunch of dusty books, so I'd really prefer it if we could figure this out sooner rather than later.

[ikols]

[ A breath is punctured out of him as Billy veers in even closer, forcing Loki to look at him or at least in his general direction. Chewing his lip anxiously, he nods once and hesitantly reaches up to brush gentle fingertips along a jawline. ]

... Elliot?

[wiccant]

The fox. I brought him home. ( elliot seemed to suit better than edgar, so billy stuck with that instead. like this, he's at least getting some response out of loki--so he doesn't mind the touch. if loki's reaching into him, it's better than him pushing billy away. )

How are we doing this?

[ikols]

[ Billy has a pet fox. That's ... so cute. ]

Magic, then. Get it over with.

[ The physical ire isn't what is truly bothering him, the worst is internal. It isn't really accepting help if Billy isn't getting to the source and it's doubtful he ever will (again) so Loki doesn't mind taking the cheater's option. It's also the cleaner one, which he suspects will have a draw for Billy too, no one wants to tend to seared flesh. ]

[wiccant]

( the fox is generally smart enough to not let billy accidentally kill it via forgetting food; he leaves the window open for him, elliot comes and goes as he feels is necessary. as far as having a pet goes, it works well. )

You're going to talk to me, too. Okay? About this.

( he's not casting spells yet. the moment he leans away, starts letting magic lace his tongue, bends space and time to his will and fixes loki's injuries, he's sure loki's going to try and leave again. billy would. )

I'm glad you opened up to me about what happened before, but I want to know what's going on with you now, too. This isn't just--flesh wounds.

[ikols]

Not sure where you're going with that, the burns feel pretty wound-like to me.

[ Misdirecting the topic with a wince and a cautious touch to his cheek, he shakes his head. It's best not to overshare; his problems with Tony taught him that. ]

[wiccant]

Don't play dumb with me. ( he's not sadistic; loki touches his face and winces, and billy's raising a hand up, fingertips shimmering with that soft blue his magic forms as and he reaches over for his face, gently brushes them against loki's skin as he whispers soft: iwanttohealhimiwanttohealhim. loki's wounds patch themselves up fast enough, magic threading through flesh and healing over burns. )

I want to know what's going on with you. Talk to me.

[ikols]

[ He tries not to squint as Billy's spell gets to work, not wanting to end up fixed like he was pulling faces in the wind. The relief is great all throughout his body and he rubs his face to make sure the burn has gone, still uncomfortably warm. That may just be his proximity to one very Determined Kaplan, however. ]

There's no point. Thank you for this, though.

[wiccant]

( and he's not moving away. loki's skin is healed, but he's still a mess. his expression speaks volumes, and it's not volumes billy's particularly excited to see. the hand that had been pressing to his face shifts, cups the side of his face and he may not be used to this kind of proximity with loki himself, but.

billy's voice softens regardless, brows furrowing. )

Is keeping whatever this is all to yourself really helping?

[ikols]

[ His head lolls into the kind touch, soaking up the comfort on offer for as long as its available. ]

I'm glad you returned, Billy, even if you don't remember.

[ Not the answer that was looked for or one that sheds light on his motivations in staying bottled up, but it's a truth. He lays his hand over the one on his cheek and looks over with a soft smile. ]

Things are easier when you're here.

[wiccant]

If I could find a way to remember, I would.

( it'd make all of this so much easier; maybe he'd figure out why loki's acting so strange all the time, what the hell is happening here, the relationship he had with everyone who seems to remember him but he can't remember them. )

Unfortunately, my spells don't work on myself. Not like that. ( iwanttobebetter never worked, healing doesn't work. ) It'd be easier if you'd tell me what was going on, Loki.

[ikols]

[ Unwilling to voice something that would cause a landslide of distance between them (You were considering speaking to Teddy about me, then you left without a word anyway) he shrugs and slips the hand in his down for a kiss on the knuckles, letting go. ]

It's okay. You came back, that's all that matters right now. [ Although he's sure Billy will leave again, but that doesn't bear thinking about. ] Being literally hounded like a fox on the run was no fun, I didn't even get what I went for. I'm bummed out, is all.

[ About lots of things, yet nuance is useful right now. ]

Thank you for your help, I'm sorry it was needed.

[wiccant]

( that's his cue to pull back, give loki some space, and billy takes it. he sits back on his heels on the ground, weight balancing on his knees as he looks over loki, checks just to make sure the wounds have healed themselves over. he did come back, but he also has full intentions of leaving. makes this whole thing more difficult, doesn't it? he needs to go back--to find tommy, save teddy, fix his parents.

it's already all happened for loki--who can't leave here. and as big of an asshole as loki has been, he's still part of their team. he's still a friend. and he deserves a lot of bullshit, but he doesn't deserve being left here while others come and go.

and billy doesn't know how to say all of that in words without it sounding like i'm definitely abandoning you some day, because he's--he's not. he won't. not like this. not again. what else can he do, though? )

( what he says instead is so much less wordy, less complicated: ) Take me with you next time.

[ikols]

No way, you're about as sneaky as Hercules. I don't want Captain America on my case again if you get eaten by a monster.

[ Or the guilt if Billy got hurt. That too. ]

Absolutely not.

[wiccant]

I can be sneaky!

( so rude, loki. he almost looks offended. )

It's just not something we--have needed to do, for a while! But I can be. And we're way less likely to get torn up or eaten with the both of us.

[ikols]

[ The squint he aims at Billy harbours serious doubts as to his ability as a thief in the night, but telling him he can't do something usually leads to the opposite, so. Loki shakes his head. ]

I'll think about it. [ #THOUGHTABOUTIT #NOPE ] Right now I need a shower and clean clothes. If you want company I can swing by the library in a bit.

[wiccant]

( he knows that look!! he's onto you!

but loki's not voicing it, so. whatever, he'll let it drop for now. he gives a low displeased huff, but presses his hands against his thighs and gets up onto his feet. )

Okay. I'll wait for you there. ( don't do anything stupid. )

[ikols]

[ Loki's shower lasts a good twenty minutes as he stands under cold water, trying to scrub the phantom heat out of his skin where burns formerly took up residence; flashbacks to burning alive, bound to a chair, flicker behind his closed eyelids and he turns the water to its iciest setting for a few minutes before calming down enough to get dressed back in his room.

Freyja is distressed by the news of the wild canine monsters and wriggles around the room hissing threats to books and table-legs until Loki compromises with her. As the viper is magically engorged in size to that of an adult python, she stops being so vocal and simply leers in contemplation, pleased to be big enough to eat a dog. Honestly, snakes are such divas. That is why Loki arrives in the library not with Freyja on his shoulders like usual but slithering around like a giant, flashy lime-green anaconda on his heels. ]

I made chocolate.

[ Loki, freshened up in slacks a tee, comes bearing two homemade drinks heaped with marshmallows. ]

[wiccant]

( loki can take his time, that's fine. billy takes the long way back to the library: he walks, eyes on his feet. elliot, the fox, greets him with happy yips when he walks back in the door, threads himself around billy's feet as he carefully makes his way to the massive stacks of books he has set up on one side of the room, and sits himself down on billy's lap once he's settled back into a comfortable spot on the floor.

but reading's hard when he's busy trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with loki. why he would respond that way. why he's acting like this. the book he had been reading before gets picked up, billy raises it in his hands to start trying to read the paragraph he had been on, but he finds himself consistently trying to reread the same words, over and over again.

the god's arrival is a relief; gives him excuse to lower the book, to stop trying. billy offers a small, hesitant smile, attention immediately moving to the much larger than before snake. )

Thanks. ( and he slides over easily enough, makes room for loki beside him. it disturbs the fox on his lap; a few unhappy grumbles can be heard, but he settles back down fast enough. ) Looks like someone had a growth spurt.