(closed) tell me you've never loved me, tell me it was just a lie

[ikols]

who: loki and billy
what: escapades
when: llllate because NERDING OUT HAS NO CURFEW and neither does thievery
where: sanctum sanctorum
warnings: tba

[ With the sleeves of his shirt smoking and hair singed, a burn stripes down one side of Loki's face from temple to jaw as he barges into the Sanctum at ass o'clock, stripping off his coat to stamp on the blackened parts. Shit. The shadowthread will need reworking. That's going to be time-consuming. His hot vest makes a loud clatter when he dumps the too-warm scalemaille in haste, climbing the stairs as he makes his way toward a working bathroom (not the acid one). By the time he passes multiple doors and makes it to his destination, his eye is stinging and Loki drops to his knees by the sink, elbows hooked over the edge.

When he isn't so dazed he stands and peers into the mirror at the mess several would-be Hel Hounds have made of him, their breath particularly nostalgic from a bird's-eye perspective but never so close up. They weren't purebreds, of course, some moon-twisted Silent Hill remake of Thori, more like split-mouthed hyenas than anything ...

He's glad those jaws never took purchase. He would have totally shredded his coat, never mind his arm.

Making more noise than usual as he goes about washing his wound, disorientated, the godling yelps and curses without any volume control because either Sam is around visiting Stephen and will come by to help or Loki is home alone while the sorcerer is off with his squeeze on a horrendously normal date. Blood drips red onto ceramic, a sheen of blue caught in it when the electric lights shine a certain way.

Above all, Loki sincerely hopes there is some ice cream left in the unchained fridge. ]

Comments

[wiccant]

The fox. I brought him home. ( elliot seemed to suit better than edgar, so billy stuck with that instead. like this, he's at least getting some response out of loki--so he doesn't mind the touch. if loki's reaching into him, it's better than him pushing billy away. )

How are we doing this?

[ikols]

[ Billy has a pet fox. That's ... so cute. ]

Magic, then. Get it over with.

[ The physical ire isn't what is truly bothering him, the worst is internal. It isn't really accepting help if Billy isn't getting to the source and it's doubtful he ever will (again) so Loki doesn't mind taking the cheater's option. It's also the cleaner one, which he suspects will have a draw for Billy too, no one wants to tend to seared flesh. ]

[wiccant]

( the fox is generally smart enough to not let billy accidentally kill it via forgetting food; he leaves the window open for him, elliot comes and goes as he feels is necessary. as far as having a pet goes, it works well. )

You're going to talk to me, too. Okay? About this.

( he's not casting spells yet. the moment he leans away, starts letting magic lace his tongue, bends space and time to his will and fixes loki's injuries, he's sure loki's going to try and leave again. billy would. )

I'm glad you opened up to me about what happened before, but I want to know what's going on with you now, too. This isn't just--flesh wounds.

[ikols]

Not sure where you're going with that, the burns feel pretty wound-like to me.

[ Misdirecting the topic with a wince and a cautious touch to his cheek, he shakes his head. It's best not to overshare; his problems with Tony taught him that. ]

[wiccant]

Don't play dumb with me. ( he's not sadistic; loki touches his face and winces, and billy's raising a hand up, fingertips shimmering with that soft blue his magic forms as and he reaches over for his face, gently brushes them against loki's skin as he whispers soft: iwanttohealhimiwanttohealhim. loki's wounds patch themselves up fast enough, magic threading through flesh and healing over burns. )

I want to know what's going on with you. Talk to me.

[ikols]

[ He tries not to squint as Billy's spell gets to work, not wanting to end up fixed like he was pulling faces in the wind. The relief is great all throughout his body and he rubs his face to make sure the burn has gone, still uncomfortably warm. That may just be his proximity to one very Determined Kaplan, however. ]

There's no point. Thank you for this, though.

[wiccant]

( and he's not moving away. loki's skin is healed, but he's still a mess. his expression speaks volumes, and it's not volumes billy's particularly excited to see. the hand that had been pressing to his face shifts, cups the side of his face and he may not be used to this kind of proximity with loki himself, but.

billy's voice softens regardless, brows furrowing. )

Is keeping whatever this is all to yourself really helping?

[ikols]

[ His head lolls into the kind touch, soaking up the comfort on offer for as long as its available. ]

I'm glad you returned, Billy, even if you don't remember.

[ Not the answer that was looked for or one that sheds light on his motivations in staying bottled up, but it's a truth. He lays his hand over the one on his cheek and looks over with a soft smile. ]

Things are easier when you're here.

[wiccant]

If I could find a way to remember, I would.

( it'd make all of this so much easier; maybe he'd figure out why loki's acting so strange all the time, what the hell is happening here, the relationship he had with everyone who seems to remember him but he can't remember them. )

Unfortunately, my spells don't work on myself. Not like that. ( iwanttobebetter never worked, healing doesn't work. ) It'd be easier if you'd tell me what was going on, Loki.

[ikols]

[ Unwilling to voice something that would cause a landslide of distance between them (You were considering speaking to Teddy about me, then you left without a word anyway) he shrugs and slips the hand in his down for a kiss on the knuckles, letting go. ]

It's okay. You came back, that's all that matters right now. [ Although he's sure Billy will leave again, but that doesn't bear thinking about. ] Being literally hounded like a fox on the run was no fun, I didn't even get what I went for. I'm bummed out, is all.

[ About lots of things, yet nuance is useful right now. ]

Thank you for your help, I'm sorry it was needed.

[wiccant]

( that's his cue to pull back, give loki some space, and billy takes it. he sits back on his heels on the ground, weight balancing on his knees as he looks over loki, checks just to make sure the wounds have healed themselves over. he did come back, but he also has full intentions of leaving. makes this whole thing more difficult, doesn't it? he needs to go back--to find tommy, save teddy, fix his parents.

it's already all happened for loki--who can't leave here. and as big of an asshole as loki has been, he's still part of their team. he's still a friend. and he deserves a lot of bullshit, but he doesn't deserve being left here while others come and go.

and billy doesn't know how to say all of that in words without it sounding like i'm definitely abandoning you some day, because he's--he's not. he won't. not like this. not again. what else can he do, though? )

( what he says instead is so much less wordy, less complicated: ) Take me with you next time.

[ikols]

No way, you're about as sneaky as Hercules. I don't want Captain America on my case again if you get eaten by a monster.

[ Or the guilt if Billy got hurt. That too. ]

Absolutely not.

[wiccant]

I can be sneaky!

( so rude, loki. he almost looks offended. )

It's just not something we--have needed to do, for a while! But I can be. And we're way less likely to get torn up or eaten with the both of us.

[ikols]

[ The squint he aims at Billy harbours serious doubts as to his ability as a thief in the night, but telling him he can't do something usually leads to the opposite, so. Loki shakes his head. ]

I'll think about it. [ #THOUGHTABOUTIT #NOPE ] Right now I need a shower and clean clothes. If you want company I can swing by the library in a bit.

[wiccant]

( he knows that look!! he's onto you!

but loki's not voicing it, so. whatever, he'll let it drop for now. he gives a low displeased huff, but presses his hands against his thighs and gets up onto his feet. )

Okay. I'll wait for you there. ( don't do anything stupid. )

[ikols]

[ Loki's shower lasts a good twenty minutes as he stands under cold water, trying to scrub the phantom heat out of his skin where burns formerly took up residence; flashbacks to burning alive, bound to a chair, flicker behind his closed eyelids and he turns the water to its iciest setting for a few minutes before calming down enough to get dressed back in his room.

Freyja is distressed by the news of the wild canine monsters and wriggles around the room hissing threats to books and table-legs until Loki compromises with her. As the viper is magically engorged in size to that of an adult python, she stops being so vocal and simply leers in contemplation, pleased to be big enough to eat a dog. Honestly, snakes are such divas. That is why Loki arrives in the library not with Freyja on his shoulders like usual but slithering around like a giant, flashy lime-green anaconda on his heels. ]

I made chocolate.

[ Loki, freshened up in slacks a tee, comes bearing two homemade drinks heaped with marshmallows. ]

[wiccant]

( loki can take his time, that's fine. billy takes the long way back to the library: he walks, eyes on his feet. elliot, the fox, greets him with happy yips when he walks back in the door, threads himself around billy's feet as he carefully makes his way to the massive stacks of books he has set up on one side of the room, and sits himself down on billy's lap once he's settled back into a comfortable spot on the floor.

but reading's hard when he's busy trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with loki. why he would respond that way. why he's acting like this. the book he had been reading before gets picked up, billy raises it in his hands to start trying to read the paragraph he had been on, but he finds himself consistently trying to reread the same words, over and over again.

the god's arrival is a relief; gives him excuse to lower the book, to stop trying. billy offers a small, hesitant smile, attention immediately moving to the much larger than before snake. )

Thanks. ( and he slides over easily enough, makes room for loki beside him. it disturbs the fox on his lap; a few unhappy grumbles can be heard, but he settles back down fast enough. ) Looks like someone had a growth spurt.

[ikols]

Mm, don't ask.

[ 'You're not actually my mom' may be mumbled to Freyja as the snake winds her way onto an armchair to fill the seat, far classier than Loki as he draws a cushion under his butt and plops down beside Billy. To Freyja's credit, she merely eyeballs Elliot. ]

He seems to have really taken to you.

[ Setting the mugs safely on the floor, he crooks his fingers toward the fox. ]

[wiccant]

I seem to attract the mischievous sort. ( foxes, gods. . the like. loki gestures for elliot, and he twitches an ear, hesitates for a moment before climbing his way off of billy's lap and moving to loki.

billy, for his part, leans down to pick up a mug of hot chocolate and takes a few sips of it. )

Are you feeling better?

[ikols]

[ His wan smile strengthens when Elliot comes over and Loki coos to the fox, intending to itch behind its ears. ]

Mhm. [ It feels like his bones are vibrating in ways that only Tony's embrace used to stop, now forced to calm that sensation with some intense ignoring without a steadfast lover to keep him tethered to reality. ] What are you reading? You've a great many books assembled.

[wiccant]

( tiny paws settle at loki's chest as elliot moves to press up against him, snout against his neck with another soft yip. billy lifts the book he had been holding, raises it to show it to loki. ) A study into Gerald Gardner's Book of Shadows.

There are a few books on you in the stacks, too. ( which he's leaning over loki to grab for, mug set aside for the moment. ) I found Poetic Edda earlier. And Loki by Mike Vasich. There're a lot of magic books in here--a lot of them don't have titles on the cover, or titles at all. I'm a little hesitant to open them, honestly. Who knows what kind of gremlins Doctor Strange has trapped in here.

[ikols]

[ Smooching that cute snout with pecks to Elliot's whiskers, he cuddles him close while snorting at the list of titles Billy reels off. ]

Ah, those vague and inaccurate accounts. So preferable to a chat on a library floor with the real thing! Billy, if Stephen allows you in here, and especially me, you can bet there's nothing grandiose in terms of evil waiting to pop out of any of these stacks.

[wiccant]

Maybe not evil, but what if I open one up and tribbles start to fall out of it?

( fine then. he moves those specific books into--another pile of books, mildly out of the way and just barely within arm's reach. his fingers instead grab onto an old leather bound, titleless book, and sets it just a bit away from his own mug. )

No one wants to deal with an army of tribbles. --are you sure you're okay?

[ikols]

I know a captain who might like some tribbles ...

[ Jim would push him out of the shuttle if Loki invaded it with fuzzy space-bunnies. ]

I'm good. [ At lying. Yet he's here, not holed up in bed alone and moping, so that says something about how Billy can provoke Loki's social side better than most. ] Pass me one of those horrendously large tomes, maybe I can use one of the spells in them for something handy.

[wiccant]

Do you? Maybe I'll have to sift through these to find the tribble-summoning book, then.

( no, he won't. but billy does grab onto one of the larger, dustier books and sits back in his place, holds that one out to loki before shifting his weight to lean up against his side. his own books can wait, and he's fairly certain he's not going to get any reading done right now, anyway. may as well look over loki's shoulder as he reads instead. )

Maybe later we can sit down and pick apart how inaccurate all the Norse mythology books are.