riverviewlogs | (closed) tell me you've never loved me, tell me it was just a lie

Entry tags:

(closed) tell me you've never loved me, tell me it was just a lie

who: loki and billy
what: escapades
when: llllate because NERDING OUT HAS NO CURFEW and neither does thievery
where: sanctum sanctorum
warnings: tba

[ With the sleeves of his shirt smoking and hair singed, a burn stripes down one side of Loki's face from temple to jaw as he barges into the Sanctum at ass o'clock, stripping off his coat to stamp on the blackened parts. Shit. The shadowthread will need reworking. That's going to be time-consuming. His hot vest makes a loud clatter when he dumps the too-warm scalemaille in haste, climbing the stairs as he makes his way toward a working bathroom (not the acid one). By the time he passes multiple doors and makes it to his destination, his eye is stinging and Loki drops to his knees by the sink, elbows hooked over the edge.

When he isn't so dazed he stands and peers into the mirror at the mess several would-be Hel Hounds have made of him, their breath particularly nostalgic from a bird's-eye perspective but never so close up. They weren't purebreds, of course, some moon-twisted Silent Hill remake of Thori, more like split-mouthed hyenas than anything ...

He's glad those jaws never took purchase. He would have totally shredded his coat, never mind his arm.

Making more noise than usual as he goes about washing his wound, disorientated, the godling yelps and curses without any volume control because either Sam is around visiting Stephen and will come by to help or Loki is home alone while the sorcerer is off with his squeeze on a horrendously normal date. Blood drips red onto ceramic, a sheen of blue caught in it when the electric lights shine a certain way.

Above all, Loki sincerely hopes there is some ice cream left in the unchained fridge. ]

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Well, yeah. I love Teddy. We're a mess--sometimes he makes me want to rip my hair out. Sometimes we fight, sometimes we lie to each other, sometimes he gets stupidly jealous over things that happened years ago, but he's always been there for me. He's as sweet as he is strong, and he'll always do what he thinks is right no matter what anyone else thinks about it, including me. ( his grip on loki's wrist tightens a little, before he's lowering both of their hands down. )

Teddy could come through that portal tomorrow, tell me about some future where he hates my guts, where we broke up and fought for years and years, or he went evil, and I'd still love him. There isn't anything in the multiverse that's going to change that. I'm not going to lie to you and say there is.

But, ( his grip on loki's wrist shifts, moves to entangle their fingers once more. maybe he shouldn't. but they're already standing this close, and he needs to do something. ) That doesn't invalidate your feelings. But you're right. I wouldn't give up on Teddy, not ever. Not even stuck on this moon with no way back. ( a deep breath in, steadying. ) If I kissed you, then it meant something. And honestly? Look at yourself, Loki. Maybe I am attracted to you, but I wouldn't just kiss someone because I liked how they looked.

I don't know what happened, but it all sounds like it went down really stupidly.

[ His gaze slips across the room halfway through the Teddy monologue, not needing (or wanting) to hear it when he isn't a dumb child who entertains the notion Billy will ever be with him, not Endgame-wise. About to pull away, he stops only because Billy laces their fingers, looking down at him seriously. ]

It was stupid. I'd lost everything back home and then here you were, and you actually liked me. I think you did. That was nice.

But you weren't the first person here to treat me as a disposable distraction, or the last. [ Rolling his eyes, he hurriedly adds, ] I told you, I'm not mad. Just disappointed. I don't want to put any of that on you now while your memory is foggy, so let's be friends.

You weren't even the one who broke my heart, so it's fine. We're fine.

“Disposable distraction”. ( he repeats the words as if he can’t believe he’s hearing them, as if they’re some foreign, strange language he doesn’t quite understand even as he stops and realizes that, were teddy here, chances are he wouldn’t be standing here on an empty dance floor, holding onto loki’s hand. it doesn’t make him disposable. he’d still—be hanging out with him. )

I like you, Loki. I just—don’t love you like that. Not like I do Teddy. We are friends. ( there’s another point he wants to make; that billy’s not going to last even a fraction of loki’s life span, that the amount of time he’ll be around, whether it’s here or elsewhere, is nothing to loki. if anything, it’s billy who is the disposable distraction, isn’t it? but arguing won’t get him anywhere right now. and it’s not what he wants. )

Who broke your heart?

I know you and Teddy are a forever deal. I'm not a moron, I just had hopes for a while ... blissfully deluded as they were by every kiss.

[ He takes a breath and pulls his hand back to fold his arms, defensive as he swallows a name. ]

Anthony. Tony Stark ... our Stark.

Oh.

( a loki dating their captain america, another loki with tony stark. is this some kind of weird reality tv show that they’re all taking part of, full off dating drama, breakups, and all that? because he’s really not a fan. )

I’m—sorry. ( what else is he supposed to say to that? this is the point in which he would usually maybe reach out to hug loki, but he’s already pulled away, so. ) I’m really sorry. Is that why you were upset, earlier? Can I do something?

No, he returned home to enter a coma, like the one I put him in here before he left, [ which wasn't his fault and Tony told him so, but Loki assumes the blame for it all the same, ] or perhaps to die, as Doom so helpfully suggested when he was here from their future. I don't want to talk about any of it.

[ It animated him in ways discussing his Thing with Billy didn't, tightening Loki's brow and lips into hard lines as he stiffly shakes his head. ]

Everything's over now, it's a clean slate.

Okay. That’s fair. ( it raises numerous questions that he really wants to ask--what loki knows about this future, what the hell is going on, what’s wrong with tony (aside from the obvious), what he’s been missing out on but. this really isn’t the time nor the place to talk about that nonsense.

but he’s going to move in those last few breaths between them and wrap his arms around loki regardless, holding onto him tight. ) I--I don’t think that’s how this works, but. . I’m here for you, okay? As your friend.

[ Being held without provocation has his hands alighting on Billy's shoulders, not pushing him away but neither gathering him in. Pity is a fine enough emotion but it doesn't strike a grand chord in Loki, hardwired to care about more potent feelings; he appreciates Billy's goodness and that's the long and short of it.

And he does like to be cuddled, whatever else. ]

I don't feel any better after telling you all of this.

[ He just ... feels exceedingly foolish, tricking himself into a bubble where he and Billy (for a time) were content with just each other. ]

Sorry. ( what are you supposed to say to someone who fell in with tony stark and had their heart broken. billy likes him well enough, understands the reasons why tony makes weird decisions, doesn’t blame him for much of it but. dealing with a broken heart is hard. there’s no easy resolution. there’s nothing that can solve it, really.

aside from erasing memories of it entirely but he’s not sure loki would appreciate the suggestion right now. loki does like to be coddled--that’s something that has become abundantly clear since he’s gotten here. so billy settles his arms around loki’s waist, holds onto him loosely. ) I don’t have any plans for. . the foreseeable future. We can go lay down on the couch and watch more space documentaries if you want. Promise I won’t fall asleep this time. And I won’t push you off.

Not even accidentally?

[ Billy is still holding on and Loki's barriers are best broken down by physical contact, whether it be fists or otherwise, so he nods after a moment in agreement. ]

... You noticed the space stuff?

Maybe accidentally. I can't promise not to roll over and knock you off. But I can promise I won't intentionally do it.

( he's not sulking much anymore, so. billy lets his arms drop down, hands moving to his sides. )

I woke up for a second.

Or ten minutes, I'm guessing. You little nap-faker.

[ He takes one of Billy's hands in his and heads back for the spiral staircase to take them up and out, having had enough of the club. Trixie is fun, but. ]

I was really tired. I woke up because you kept moving, that's on you.

( if he's done then they're definitely done with this place. loki grabs onto his hand, and billy follows his lead once more, gripping tight onto fingers. )

Where to next?

[ The music and lights cut off as they leave, whether by design or because of Loki's lack of influence it could be either. He nods to the servers in the pub, although his attention is on the hand gripped tight in his. ]

What do you want to do?

[ It doesn't matter to Loki as long as he gets to stay with Billy awhile longer today. ]

You're the one who's been here for a while. I've only seen. . your club, the Sanctum Sanctorum, some of the cafes, and the communal housing area.

( he's not particularly picky, either; billy would be fine staying around indoors all day, if that were an option. he likes seeing movies, likes doing things, but he's much more about the people he's spending time with rather than the things they're doing. )

What are your favorite places?

I usually hang around the Perimeter Guard offices, that was where Anthony was stationed ... Jason, Angela, and Thor work there, too. Gramarye is interesting, that's where the other Laufeyson works.

[ Hm. He doesn't get out much in the city, thinking about it. ]

It's easier to head out into the jungle and entertain myself.

I talked to him. The other Loki. He's a lot more prickly than you.

( a few quick steps forward, hand gripping onto loki's and pulling him back a bit so he can catch up and walk next to him instead of the few steps behind pace he was keeping. )

To the jungle?

He's just in that first stage of being alive where he hasn't died yet and thinks he's right all the time, don't mind that. He's not evil.

[ He slides Billy a Look. ]

I told you, I'm not taking you out there yet. Not without a team present or some sort of official mission where other eyes are keeping watch on you so that some Starship Troopers bug can't eat you.

Edited 2017-11-27 21:24 (UTC)

Oh man, a Loki who always thinks he's right, how am I ever going to deal with that. ( him being evil's going a bit too far--billy's met the loki before he was this loki, knows enough.

billy swings their hands between them, purses his lips. )

I'm not going to get eaten. I mean unless we somehow summon a giant bear, but. ( they're a team of two. sure, they're lacking the usual muscle of the young avengers. doesn't mean they can't handle it. ) Gramarye?

Sass.

[ Bugs are worse than bears, wow. Elbowing him as they walk, he shrugs and heads for Gramarye. ]

The institute for magical know-how, it's boring but we can head over there if you want to snoop.

My tutor's been slacking lately. I figured I could use all the help I could get.

( shoving his elbow right back into loki, thanks. but it's with a smile on his lips. )

[ So rude! ]

You want to ask the other guy to tutor you, be my guest. He dates Steve Rogers, so you know he's got a few more screws loose than me ... maybe he'll turn you into a shield as a gift for his boo! Have fun.

( he could counter with something about loki's relationship with tony stark but that's overly cruel and so not the point. )

I wasn't going to ask the other Loki. I can barely handle you. I don't want more than one you.

Good.

[ Billy is only allowed to fuss on one Loki and frankly that is The Law. ]

He knows not to overstep his bounds with you, no fear.

[ May have told his twin to BE NICER to Billy. Huff. ]

( cute. he swings loki's arm between them once more, before releasing his hand to instead wrap his arm around the other's own, much as loki had earlier. )

God or not, neither of you really scare me.

( what's loki gonna do, really. )

I figured I could check on what information they have though. I don't need another Loki's help when I've got you around, do I?

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