(closed) tell me you've never loved me, tell me it was just a lie

[ikols]

who: loki and billy
what: escapades
when: llllate because NERDING OUT HAS NO CURFEW and neither does thievery
where: sanctum sanctorum
warnings: tba

[ With the sleeves of his shirt smoking and hair singed, a burn stripes down one side of Loki's face from temple to jaw as he barges into the Sanctum at ass o'clock, stripping off his coat to stamp on the blackened parts. Shit. The shadowthread will need reworking. That's going to be time-consuming. His hot vest makes a loud clatter when he dumps the too-warm scalemaille in haste, climbing the stairs as he makes his way toward a working bathroom (not the acid one). By the time he passes multiple doors and makes it to his destination, his eye is stinging and Loki drops to his knees by the sink, elbows hooked over the edge.

When he isn't so dazed he stands and peers into the mirror at the mess several would-be Hel Hounds have made of him, their breath particularly nostalgic from a bird's-eye perspective but never so close up. They weren't purebreds, of course, some moon-twisted Silent Hill remake of Thori, more like split-mouthed hyenas than anything ...

He's glad those jaws never took purchase. He would have totally shredded his coat, never mind his arm.

Making more noise than usual as he goes about washing his wound, disorientated, the godling yelps and curses without any volume control because either Sam is around visiting Stephen and will come by to help or Loki is home alone while the sorcerer is off with his squeeze on a horrendously normal date. Blood drips red onto ceramic, a sheen of blue caught in it when the electric lights shine a certain way.

Above all, Loki sincerely hopes there is some ice cream left in the unchained fridge. ]

Comments

[ikols]

You're being taught a lesson and all you can do is complain. What a moody little thief you make! Don't look directly at me while I'm up there, okay?

[ Loki teleports into the sky, Seven-League boots glittering with green soles as he heads over the clouds toward the drones. When he hoots a Hello there! he crosses the gauntlets that Tony created, a blend of magitech, and a bright light flares up to burn the camera lenses; it's a shield, technically, but Loki only activates it to blind the drones, not buffet them. Light itself isn't barred from reaching them since they operate on it. Loopholes!

Then he trots underneath the spinning drones and, one by one, snatches their packages by hand. He reappears near Billy on the ground, showing off as predicted by juggling his prizes.

In the sky, the drones bonk against each other. ]

Ta-daaaa!

[wiccant]

I'm not a thief.

( contradicts what they're currently up to, but it's not technically stealing. it's liberating. he'd call loki out on cheating, but--this wasn't a competition to start with. and when he comes back down, billy can't help the smile that spreads across his lips. his free hand extends out, offering to take one of the packages from loki to better distribute their. . ah, loot. )

And that's so cheating. You said no spells against them, I didn't come with any gear! ( also, those poor drones. he'd try and lend them a hand except loki protected them from his magic. so instead he raises a brow, looks between the drones and loki himself. ) You're going to fix them, right?

[ikols]

I didn't use a spell, I activated one nearby and they were affected by the light. I never said you couldn't touch them with that, your hands weren't your only option.

[ Tricksy hobbitses!! He hands over a box, already picking at the corner of another as he glances at the drones. ]

One of the Starks will attend to them, I'm sure. I'm not a technician, Billy.

[wiccant]

No, you're just a menace. ( a tricky, dirty menace. the box goes under an arm and he shoves the other one into the crook of his elbow while reaching a hand out to stop loki from opening the box. )

Opening someone else's mail is a crime, you know. I don't think it applies the same way here, but. ( actually if these were packages, did they just steal from a mail carrier. ) Check for a name first.

[ikols]

Billy, we could be carrying around bombs or worse, who says these packages don't contain nefarious items that would harm their intended recipient? [ Look who is suddenly Mister Responsibility all of a sudden. ] If they're totally fine we can wrap them back up, no fuss or muss.

I don't know about you, but I would feel terrible if I delivered a severed head to someone.

[wiccant]

No you wouldn't. I bet you've delivered numerous severed heads to people over your lifetime.

( he sees right through all that responsibility, mister. at the same time, delivering bombs definitely isn't something billy would want to do. but also. it's loki who is warning him against delivering bombs. )

We don't need to open them to see if there's bombs, do we? Just use a spell.

[ikols]

A spell to do what, exactly? I can't do everything with magic.

[ Finding a nearby wall to rest his packages on, he unsheathes his dagger and slices a thin line up one side of the nearest quicker than he can be stopped. ]

There, now you can say you protested vehemently but I couldn't be swayed from my noble mission.

[wiccant]

Don't make me an accessory to your crimes!

( ugh. ughh. why did he get himself stuck in this. why did he agree to chase after drones. he's made some mistakes. loki slices into a box, and billy's quick to put his own down and reach over for the one loki has. )

Come on, stop that.

[ikols]

I'm only trying to help so you don't get arrested for delivering dangerous goods.

[ Letting Billy scoop up the packages, he shrugs. A picture of innocence. ]

I was also going to see the packages home, but if you want to turn up in person and explain how you got them ...

[wiccant]

( how is he supposed to argue with loki. it's not that loki's right, it's that he's right and he's also wrong at the same time and that's what makes this. mildly difficult.

billy raises a hand, shoves it right against his face and. makes a low displeased sound. )

Okay, fine. ( he can't believe he's saying this. ) Open them.

[ikols]

[ YASSSSSSS ]

Good thinking, it's the only option we truly have.

[ With a grin, the boxes are all neatly sliced open and Loki peers into the two nearest to him. ]

... Ooo, winter socks. And a new kettle for tea! [ So. Not bombs. Rifling through packets of herbal teas that come with a seat, he asks, ] What did you get?

[wiccant]

I'm not opening them! You are. I'm not.

( look his hands are up and palms out and he's not touching the boxes he'd dropped onto the ground. watching loki do it isn't much better but still. )

And those aren't your teas.

[ikols]

You're a pretty useless accessory right now, feel good about that.

[ Loki doesn't mind rifling through bubblewrap and boxes, turning up some romance novels ... and what looks like a blaster. A space-gun? The way his eyes tick to Billy and how they widen says he didn't expect to actually find anything of worth, not like this.

This is why you shouldn't open random mail. ]

Ummm ...

[wiccant]

Good. That's exactly the kind of accessory I want to be.

( the useless kind. the kind who doesn't snoop into other people's things. who doesn't cut open boxes belonging to others. especially when there's hidden guns in them! he reaches a hand out and just. folds over the cardboard, closing the box. )

Who's that one supposed to go to?

[ikols]

It doesn't say. I mean, I yanked it away from the drone pretty swiftly and the label's torn ...

[ Hissing under his breath, he holds the box between them. ]

Billy, we've got a weapon!

[wiccant]

No we don't!

( he's gonna take the box from loki, so it's not we but me but he still has no idea what to do with this? billy doesn't need a space-gun. his history with space guns is kind of really awful. he'd rather not have one, he doesn't even need it! )

We'll uh.

Give it to Doctor Strange?

[ikols]

[ Snatching that box back because!! Billy isn't allowed guns. ]

The Starks are a better bet ... or Star-Lord! Quill was around not long ago. Thor could use it, maybe, he doesn't have a hammer that answers his call anymore. Yeah, Thor! He won't ask questions, either. He'll assume it was all me because it's shady as shit and I won't have to mention your involvement.

[wiccant]

( loki isn't allowed guns either!! grabbing onto it, but he's not yanking it out of his grip. )

You don't give a gun to someone who's going to use it! You give it to someone for safe keeping. And Thor doesn't need a gun!

[ikols]

He's used guns before and is way more responsible than either of us! It will be safe with him!

[ Wait a minute. ]

You think Stephen won't use this?

[wiccant]

( why would a sorcerer need a gun. but loki's questioning him which leaves him time to. think it over, really. )

We'll give it to Thor. But I'm not letting you eat the blame when I was involved.

[ikols]

I'll be in even more trouble if they think I was corrupting you! Shady-As-Shit-Loki, it's a thing. Trust me.

[ Oh, Ymir. Why couldn't he have found something cool and magical instead? Guns are so depressing. ]

How about we, uh, go home and watch a movie now? I'll stash this until I can hand it over.

[wiccant]

Good! You should get in trouble. You're the one who insisted we open it!

( that's what loki gets for being an awful influence who encouraged billy to steal stuff and then open it. )

Yeah, sure. ( hands off the box--it's loki's now. ) We're going to go watch a nice movie. Maybe with some popcorn.

[ikols]

You didn't stop me!

[ He sets all the boxes together in a pile, waves a hand to teleport them to his bedroom at the Sanctum, then turns back to reach for Billy's hand. ]

I'll ... I'll cook to say sorry, okay?

[wiccant]

I tried to stop you! And then you cut into it and-- ( there is no point to arguing with him about this. loki is right. billy should have stopped him. he should have insisted harder. the godling gets one hand, but he's shoving the other against his face. )

No, you're going to return all the other boxes to where they belong. By hand! With apology letters for opening them and snooping.

[ikols]

I can't do that until they're repaired! [ Oof, give him that hand, he needs his face to speak. ] The drones were wonky anyway, no one's going to miss their mail for one night.