So what if you can see the darkest side of me..

[hititwithacrowbar]

who: Jason Todd
what: October Catch All & Memeshare
when: 9th-22nd
where: All around.
warnings: This post will be full of triggery things as Jason's life has been a horror show. A quick overview, child abuse, drug use/overdose, under-aged smoking, child death, buried alive, and murder, illusions to drowning. Angst, buckets of angst. Anything else will be updated.
Note: Unless otherwise stated or plotted, each person who tags in will get a new memory. Feel free to poke me at opticon Dreamscape's can and likely will get more than one memory. Some memories will not only have text, but also pictures in which they were pulled from.



A: Mom checked out (Drug use and violence implied)
It looked like a abandoned room. No power, a dirty wooden floor, bare wooden walls and a mattress on the floor surrounded by candles. The most beautiful thing in the room was the woman laid on the mattress. A bandage on her arm. Her red lock's dyed black. He hated when she dyed her hair, but what she does when he's out he can't stop, out of everything she does with her life a bit of dye was the least bad.

"You see, Mom... I hurt someone today. I was getting us food." He spoke to the unconcious woman as he held her hand. She was the full focus of his attention. Guilt laced his voice. "I know you're not hungry much right now, but you need to eat something. Some guy came out of the alley. He tried to take it from me. From you. From us. I just got so angry, I couldn't think. I started hitting him over and over. When I caught my breath I saw blood on my hands. I let him run away... I mean, I think he's fine...but I didn't mean to do that. I didn't want to..." He rambles before tears start streaking his face falling from his eyes.

He knows she's not listening and he feels helpless. Nothing he does is helping her. "I wish you would stop taking that stuff. I wish you could hear me... I miss you." She wasn't going to answer...

[ Image]

B-Meeting the Bat

It was like any night, for Jason anyway, moving quietly through the streets of Crime Alley. People left him alone for the most part. Which in return got him left alone, again for the most part. Taking a turn down one of the desolate alleyways when he saw it. The Batmobile in all of it's glory. Well, why not. He thought as he moved forward with his tire iron. The big bad Bat's car didn't look like it was that protected. So he kneeled and got to work.

Once he had one tire off he heard someone clear their throat. Looking up his eyes went wide. "You do realize thats the Batmobile, right?" The voice spoke Batman was bigger than life. But he didn't run, no he did what he did best. He smarted off.

"Duh, you do realize you parked your car in Crime Alley, right?" Batman moved forward towards him and Jason swung out at him with the tire iron, he really didn't want to go to Gotham Lockup with his old man. The man dressed as a bat caught the Iron like it was nothing

"You wanna beat up on a kid, go enlist in the GCPD like every other bully in this city." He hissed at the man, who was now lifting him like he weighed nothing. That deep voice spoke again.

"I'm only going to ask you this once. So give some serious thought to your answer." Then he smirked, when Jason spat out a quick reply of 'what?'. "Are you hungry?"

---
Now sitting on the hood of the Batmobile Jason was scarffing down a burger and fries. It was like heaven at the moment.

"Slow down, Jason, You're going to lose a finger."
"Sorry" munch munch "This is the closest thing I've had to a home-cooked meal I've had since..." chomp "... I had a home."

He looks up realizing where the hillside their parked at is. "Funny, I was here once. Looking for Wayne Manor. Trying to case the place but I got lost."

The Batman looks his way. "Why do you think its okay to steal from other people?"

"You kidding me? Look at this view. Freaking "billionaire playboy" think's he's king of the world. Pfft." Jason grumbles as he eats.

"Sometimes you have to give people a chance, Jason. They'll usually surprise you." The bat spoke before silence swept over them and both ate quietly.

C: Dig Lazurus Dig (Buried alive, illuisions to drowning, and pain)

Darkness, darkness all around. It was hot and stuffy this much was clear as Jason opened his eyes to the purest blackness. Trying to sit up he knocked his head into wood before realization sank in. "BRUCE!" panic building in his chest, he knew exactly where he was. It was a coffin. "BRUCE!" His hands moved looking for anything, ANYTHING. His belt buckle was all he could find, Forcing himself to calm down. Instinct taking over, if he panicked he would run out of air.

The belt buckle was used to tear the silk and hit the fine wood above. It took what felt like forever his nails long ripped off as he dug himself up, forcing himself to breath slowly. His hand shot up through the dirt, he was lucky Gotham was always so rainy.

He pulled himself up out of the dirt taking deep breaths now, nothing seemed focus anymore. A few steps and down he went....


His eyes opened again, green liquid obscuring his view. For a moment he sees a beautiful woman above the water, her eyes wide... was that fear? What was happening? Then the pain rushed through like fire.

It burned, and yet he felt like he was drowning and couldn't escape. Her and reached down and pulled him up. "Come now." She spoke quickly. He knew her.

"Talia."

"Yes, your story is not yet over, Jason." She spoke in that beautiful middle eastern accent of hers. Next they were running, he had so many questions.

"Whats happening!" He called to her as they reached a cliff-side and she shoved a duffle bag in his hands. "You are unavenged! Do not go back to him, learn before you react." She spoke quickly, dragging him up and kissing him fully on the lips before shoving him off the cliff. Him and the bag falling as she turned and ran the other way. Jason watched the world spin around him....

Comments

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ Jason is leaning near by, oddly picking at his short nails.]

Yep. That would be it.

[ikols]

That Talia, she seems less than trustworthy. Do you still owe her a debt for what she did?

[ Pacing over, he stands sentry near Jason as the scene plays out again with a muted score to allow them to talk. A backdrop of bad memories. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ As if on Loki's propting of words, playing out before them now was Talia sitting at a table, Jason was no longer the small boy she had kissed, but closer to the man at Loki's side. Their both lounging in chairs talking. Her with wine and him with a beer.

'You keep killing your teachers.'
'It's not murder, it's taking out the trash.'

the conversation is low against the muted score, as she slides him a file.]

Talia is.... Talia is hard to explain, Loki. She is both the kindest and cruelest woman I have ever known. I owe her more than I could ever pay back, which I can't anyway. She's dead.

[ikols]

Oh. Well, good. She was obviously a manipulator, charms or no, and it's better not to have them in your life. I speak as one.

[ He cocks his head at the dialogue playing out before them. ]

You deserved better than she provided.

[hititwithacrowbar]

Believe it or not, I disagree. She refused to give up on me when everyone else did. I still don't know what her end game was, but she wouldn't let me give up either. In my eyes her only real crime is how she treated Damian. If I had known...

[ He lets it fall.

'Jason, I have new business. I... well, I have something to show you. I have some operatives doing low level surveillance in Gotham. Just to keep tabs. One took these photos seventy two hours ago.'

Photo's of Tim as Robin, not only wearing pants but looking good at the job. Something in Jason breaks, but he schools his look. 'Who...who is he?"

'His name is Timothy Drake. Robin. You all right?'
'Sure, why wouldn't I be?' He asks calm staring at the picture of Tim's face.]

[ikols]

[ He waits until the memory plays out. ]

Not to be tactless, but it looks like she's encouraging you to hold a grudge against Tim. Like, directly.

[hititwithacrowbar]

Years later I see that, back then not so much. Back then all I had was my anger, and her. And before you ask, yes I did go and beat Tim to an inch of his life.

[ Okay, Tim won that fight, but Jay's not admitting that.]

Me and Timber's made a good team once I got over myself. I do feel a little bad for that.

[ikols]

I was going to say, Tim doesn't seem the type to hold a grudge.

[ Even though they are in a dream, Loki offers Jason his hand. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

He apparently used to stalk me in my Robin days, he knew who all of us were.

[ He hesitates a second, before reaching over and taking his hand.

This time, what plays across from them is a prison. A man with red curls holding a ball and chain is being lead towards an overweight priest. The two talk a few minutes, Loki might recognize the priest's voice as the man standing next to him.

AS he opened the bible inside was a bow folded up. The prisoners eyes go wide.

'Is that my bow?'
'yes'
'and you realize this is totally insane?'
'Amen! And in conclusion, as the good book says, Go bold or go home!' the priest snaps something on his suspenders and the top of the disguise explodes to reveal red hood with both guns as he starts blasting people away as the scene plays out.

Jay kept Loki's hand, and made amused noise.

God, I forgot what an idiot he was.

( Link One ) (Link Two) (Link Tree)]

[ikols]

[ Unsurprising that Tim became what he adored and respected. ]

You're such a nerd.

[ He cracks a laugh and holds fast to the hand in his, wincing a little at the gunshots but not disapproving. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ Tim deserved it, Dick was a close second.

He smiled to Loki wen he spoke, though he noticed the wince. Which seemed odd, he filed that away for another time.]

I never denied that, but I'm a very cool nerd.

[ikols]

I won't argue with that. I wonder, if we wake up are we going to be in our own beds? How lonely.

[ He doesn't want to leave Jason alone with these horrid memories. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

Likely so, it makes the most logical sense. Though, with this place we could end up cuddled on a roof or something and not know until we wake up.

[ Jason looked up as his breath caught in his throat.

A tiny Jason in ripped jeans was walking around the filthy streets. 'Mom!' He called out, worry on his young face. He didn't have a jacket on and his breath could be seen as he looked through alleyways.]

...Fuck.

[ikols]

... You used to be so small.

[ He holds Jason securely so that he can distinguish semi-reality from a sad dream. ]

Do you want to wake up now, Jason? Is this too much?

cw; drug over does/parental death

[hititwithacrowbar]

Yeah, I was. I was tiny until after I died.

[ It made no sense even now. And despite the pain he shook his head, holds Loki back.]

Yes and no... I don't have anything left of her but my memories.

[ The boy turns a corner, and leaned against the fence with her face covered by long beautiful strands of red hair sat the woman. She was breath taking even in death. The needle was on the ground near her as the boy already had tears falling as he kneeled down next to her pushing her hair from her face. He knew it was to late.]

That was the last time I saw her... I ran, I knew they'd ship me off to an orphanage if they found me. It was better roughing it on the streets.

[ Something in Jason's voice is softer, as his look mirrors the child's, only he kept his dream self from looking ready to cry.]

[ikols]

Brave heart, Jason.

[ Mortals die so often that Loki doesn't pay much attention to the workings or ways of it, familiar with the drug scene but distanced without an anchor such as Jason had growing up. He does think Jason's mother was very pretty, aside from the overdose.

Selfish of her to leave her little boy all alone in the world, though. ]

Can you show me where you went next, what happened?

[ It feels like Jason's memories are a runaway train, so Loki chooses to hop on board. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ Jason had taken over the drug trade to try and keep this kind of thing from happening to any more street kids. Even if his time as a drug lord had been short lived.

He takes a breath, he hadn't tried to control it, but with Loki's encouragement he keeps the hand holding the other's and focuses. Skipping over some of the worst, not wanting Loki to see him trying to process his moms death or dealing with the guilt that he didnt know where her body went.

Time moves and the boy is in a dilapidated apartment, there are tires sitting around as he sits on a mattress, and of all thing's the tiny boy is smoking a cigarette as he reads from a novel in the dim lights. ]

I found an abandoned building, I stayed there boosting tires to get by until I made the mistake that changed my life.

[ Still focusing, the memory played of him still just as small, dressed in red and blue seeing the Batmobile and grinning as he looked around before heading into the alleyway with his tire iron. ]

I stole Batman's tires. [ Yeah, that's pride in his tone Loki.]

[ikols]

[ ... That is so very mischievous, Loki approves. ]

You were rewarded with fast-food, I see. I like his teaching techniques.

[ As the memory runs on and displays Batman catching Jason, he chuckles. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

What can I say, food is the way to my heart.

[ He smiled a bit still even if it hurt a little.]

Ready to wake up before this gets embarrassing or sad?

[ikols]

If you want to, darling boy.

[ His own smile is supportive of whatever Jason desires, stripped bare as he has been tonight. ]

Want some company when you awaken?

[hititwithacrowbar]

I would. I'm tired of living in the past, even if my mind disagrees.

[ He ran his free hand through his hair.]

Yeah, give me about ten minutes first before you pop in.

[ikols]

Okay. See you soon.

[ He pecks him on his cheek in the dream and dispels it with his reality-warping power, effectively waking them both up. He waits fifteen minutes before teleporting in, wearing his slacks and a tee. ]

Jay?

[ He's sure Jason mentioned living with youngsters and doesn't want to wake them up. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

[ Floor six was mostly quiet at this time, some lights were on, surely Ed was still up and working, and god knows who else, Jason moved around a corner, buttoning up his jeans, a t-shirt tossed over his shoulder. He had had combed his hair back in place. ]

Hey, Loki.

[ He walked up to meet him.]

Wanna lay down or go out and paint the town?

[ Surely somethings open at 4am.]

[ikols]

I don't mind. I have a club that is at your disposal.

[ He shrugs, barefoot in his pyjamas but willing to go out if Jason feels the need. Trying to assess him with a subtle look that he's sure Jason won't miss. ]

[hititwithacrowbar]

Actually, fuck it. Come on, this way.

[ The idea of going out was less tempting once he spoke it. He turned motioning for Loki to follow as he made his way back towards his bed. It was easy to see which one was his, given the books around it. The shirt was tossed on the trunk and he started to undo the jeans again. He was more tired than he cared to admit but he didn't want to sleep.]