riverviewlogs | Boys Day Out

Entry tags:

Boys Day Out

who: Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland
what: Bonding time!
when: September 25
where: All Over, Shopping and Food
warnings: To be added as needed.

Good, truly happy moments, seemed more like a falling star you could only catch a glimpse of, feeling that rush of euphoria and genuine emotion, and they were gone. You remembered them, of course, but holding onto them was much more difficult. Bad, truly horrible moments, made time feel like it was crawling, belly down against the earth, fingernails raw and broken, bleeding, as you tried to pull yourself free.

Until recently Jace had been tapped, constantly in fear and pain, suffering and unable to grasp a single good, truly happy moment, without it being ripped away again.

When the cure for the strange plant causing all the even stranger memory loss problems all over Riverview was discovered and shared, Jace had decided to keep the cure on hand, just in case, but he didn't take it. He didn't want to recover the memories. He was sure the only way he could describe what had happened to him was to call it memory distancing or muting. He remembered. But he had healed. Somehow. The pain wasn't gone, the fear still there, all in the distance. Far, far away. Like one of Simon's nerdy stories.

But he was happier. Far happier than he'd been in a long time.

It was a good thing, really, to have things back in perspective and being capable of logical thought without the overwhelming emotions attached to them. Very good. Because dealing with new emotions and complicated emotions was difficult even on his best day. Demons? Not a problem. Mundane puppies in love getting captured and turned into a Vampire? Not as much of a problem as demon pox might be. Having deep emotions--he was not in love--"Alec! Pick a color that isn't a shade of black."

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"I could make the wedding cake." Jace offered, wondering what types of traditions Magnus would find special. Magnus and Alec would figure it out planning the ceremony so he should leave it to them. He hadn't given it much thought personally. He never imagined he would ever get married.

"I was drunk. I'm not sure I really remember." Not a complete lie. Now really wasn't the time to tell Alec he'd been naked in a pool with Magnus and had wanted to kiss him. More than kiss him. He'd wanted to pin him to the side of the pool. But he'd been drinking. That's what he kept telling himself. More recently things had gotten far more complicated. "And I haven't had a drink since. Not even when Lucifer offered at the bar."

He joined Alec at the socks and started picking through them, looking for ones that would work well with boots. Thick, absorbent, drying quickly, and protecting his feet. What he found was a pair of socks with little hearts in various colors and another pair with arrows. "Here. Matching socks for you and Magnus. Magnus gets the hearts and you can have the arrows."

"I wouldn't ask anyone else to make it." Not after tasting Jace's experiments. He doubted they could find anything in the city that could compete with his parabatai's baking.

"Then it must not be serious." If it were, Magnus would have told him. His husband wouldn't stray and if Jace had crossed a line, Magnus wouldn't hide that from Alec. "Is that why you quit drinking?" he asked cautiously. Did Jace really think he'd seduce Magnus if he was drunk? Or was it something else?

Smiling when Jace handed him the socks, he shook arched an eyebrow at his parabatai. "I'm surprised you didn't suggest boxers instead of socks."

"Matching boxers would be a perfect compliment to the socks. Thank you for the idea." Jace smirked, avoiding the question for the moment. "Pajamas. I should find matching pajamas to go with the socks and underwear. As a wedding present."

His present would be more thoughtful, but he couldn't resist. He would have to find them matching sets now.

Picking up another pair of socks, Jace considered the color and texture before taking the blue pair for himself.

"I quit because I'm an emotional idiot when I drink. Because you hate it when I drink. And because I can't just have one." He couldn't trust himself when he was drinking. It was less of a problem now simply because he really was happier than he had been in a long time. But the temptation was still there.

"Pants. We both need pants. Sparring and fighting pants. And pants to wear around the apartment. Comfortable pants. Are you going to try anything on?"

Mentally headdesking, Alec tried to decide what would be the best way to disuade Jace from his ideas related to wedding gifts. He almost said that Magnus was almost as 'dangerous' to shop for as Izzy, but they both knew that wasn't true. Magnus probably would find the idea either adorable and hilarious and parade around the apartment in archery themed pajamas. "Make sure they're silk if you're buying them for Magnus."

Alec had been more willing to shop once the arrived, thanks to his husband cajoling him into shops so the necessities he looked over only for his parabatai, handing him another pair that he knew would be comfortable with the type of boots they usually wore on missions. "They'll work better if we have to hike."

Looking down at the socks, he hoped that Jace wouldn't notice his expression. Alec couldn't disagree with his parabatai's assessment of how he acted when drunk. "I do hate it. It's dangerous. I'm afraid that you'll get hurt when you're like that." The last time Jace got drunk regularly, he'd taken on a bar full of werewolves. "You used to be able to just have one drink."

Surprised by the change in subject, he nodded his head toward the dressing rooms. "Yeah. I want to try on the sweater at least. Wait, do you have any clothes at the apartment?"

"Silk. Got it." Jace was already imagining Magnus dressed in silk pajama's with colorful hearts. "Would you prefer flannel or silk?"

He was serious about finding these pajamas for them. Taking the socks without question, he shifted the clothes a bit and looked around for a dressing room.

"I have a change of clothes."

He wasn't ignoring Alec's comments about drinking, or his concerns, but he prefered to finish that topic of conversation somewhere with a bit more privacy.

"I should try on some pants."

Flannel was the automatic choice, but he paused, considering what Magnus would like even if he'd look ridiculous in heart patterned sleep pants. "Silk."

He began walking toward the dressing room, balancing his armload of sweaters and henleys when he realized what Jace had said. "You have one change of clothes?" Alec had to be mistaken. The lack of furniture in Jace's room was bad enough, but not having clothes implied something that made Alec feel queasy. "Yeah, you should. More than just clothes for training or when we're at the apartment."

Jace smiled. Alec wearing silk. Now that was something he'd like to see. And then he remembered the pajamas weren't for his enjoyment and grabbed a pair of pants off a rack that looked close to his size.

"One change is all I really needed." Not really. The truth was he hadn't cared enough about himself to bother with anything outside of the very basic necessities. "I showered." He added, just in case Alec was getting the wrong idea. "And washed my clothes." When they needed to be washed.

He went back and grabbed two more pairs of pants and some that looked comfortable for sparring. Light, flexible. Mostly all black except for the blue jeans.

"Happy?" Jace stuck his tongue out at Alec and went into one of the available rooms. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He teased.

His steps slowed as he slowly began to realize what Jace meant. One change of clothes. Defending himself with the claim that he'd showered and washed his clothes. How had Alec missed that his parabatai was in so much pain?

Guilt gnawed at his thoughts and he almost reached for the rune at his side, but he'd end up dumping all the clothes on the floor if he did. He was no better than Jace had been when he'd been fixated with Clary, ignoring his parabatai because he was so happy with Magnus. Despite not knowing what exactly had happened with Robert and Michael, he couldn't help thinking that maybe he was more like his father than he ever wanted to believe.

"Yeah," he said vaguely, forcing himself to smile. "You've seen mine before."

Jace poked his head out of the dressing room, already mostly naked except for his underwear, "Alec?"

The "are you okay" went unspoken. Alec should know the look and tone of his voice well enough. The same way he knew something was up with Alec. he smiled slow and easy, still concerned, but the warmth and affection he felt for Alec clear in his eyes.

"I'm fine. Better than fine. And getting better every day because I have the best parabatai."

He disappeared behind the door again and added, "It's been a while since I've seen yours. Why don't you trip and show me what you've got. And try on that sweater while you're at it."

If he was blushing Alec couldn't see it.

Even knowing that Jace would sense his emotional state, he still mentally winced at the look. "I - " Should have notice. I should had realized how much pain you were in. He was a terrible parabatai...

But Jace was smiling at him the way he used to. Like he was one of the most important people in Jace's world and they'd never hurt each other in the past. It reminded him of when they were teenagers and Jace could make him a bumbling, stammering idiot with just a smile. By the Angel, he was nineteen, had fought in wars and married. He was not an infatuated sixteen year old.

"I don't think I'm the reason you're getting better." They spent more time together now than they had in months, but that wouldn't cause Jace to heal. Following Jace, he paused at the door, not sure if he should go inside or not. "Nothing's really changed since the last time you saw me naked."

Why were they talking about getting naked in ways that didn't relate to trying on clothes?

"You've had sex since the last time we were naked together." Jace pointed out, grinning and also trying to remind himself he couldn't flirt like that. ALec was married and he'd already nearly crossed a line with Magnus.

"Alec. If you don't come in I'm coming out there. Naked. Do you really want to spend our shopping trip fighting off the crowd of people wanting my phone number when you could have me all to yourself?"

He really was naked. He didn't need to try on the underwear, he was going to purchase them either way, but he wanted to wear the blue underwear for Alec. He'd just give the cashier the tag at the register.

He pulled on the briefs and opened the door.

"I'm coming out." He warned.

"How rough do you think we like it?" Why would sex change how he looked? It wasn't like his body had changed afterward or there was some kind of mark that proved he'd lost his virginity. "Having sex isn't going to change anything vital."

Knowing that Jace would follow through on that threat, Alec sighed and began banging his head on the door. Either to knock or to deal with his crazy parabatai. He wasn't sure which. "I will leave you to your horde of adoring fans the way I did when Izzy dragged us to clubs." Even know he disliked seeing girls throw themselves at Jace. Because it was weird considering how Jace felt about Clary. Not for any other reason...

"I'll come in. Just get out of the way." Why could he never say no to Jace?

"You're different." Jace commented, lowering his voice a bit. "Falling in love, having sex, living life outside of the constricting confines of the Clave and their rules. It's been good for you."

Alec was more confident, happier. Sex had never really made him happy. It was a great release and nothing more. A way to hide, pretend, distract.

Jace grinned when Alec finally decided to come in and backed up to give him the space he needed to change. "Having sex would change you if you contracted demon pox."

He started trying on the blue jeans that had caught his eye, pulling them over the blue briefs and checking himself out in the mirror.

"I've changed but it's everything else, not the sex, that changed me." At least he didn't think so. Being free to be himself had been the catalyst for it all. "Even if I was still a virgin, I'd still be happy."

He started sorting through the different shirts, pausing when he realized what Jace had implied. "If you even hint that I could get the demon pox, Magnus will turn you into a rat." Or worse. Warlocks might be part demon but they couldn't' give someone the pox!

Turning away from Jace, he pulled off his shirt, telling himself that he needed to give his parabatai some privacy while trying on clothes. Absentmindedly, he rubbed their rune, before looking over his shoulder. When he realized that Jace was still pulling on the jeans, he flushed and tried to distract himself with the sweater.

Jace smiled, turning from side to side and then crouching to test hoe easily he could move. When Alec turned away he couldn't resist watching him in the mirror. He knew he shouldn't. He tried to focus on other things. Socks. Underwear. The other pants he'd picked up. Removing the blue jeans and then pulling on the black jeans. But his gaze always found it's way back to Alec int he mirror.

"I didn't mean the sex is what changed you, but I can't imagine being happy and being a virgin." He was teasing, mostly. He may have been thinking about sex right then. And feeling too warm all of a sudden. "Does the sweater fit?"

Magnus would probably turn him into a rat for staring at Alec while he changed.

Watching his parabatai move around to try out the jeans, some of his old teenage distraction faded away. Instead, he was amused by the display. At least until Jace took of the jeans. Jerking his gaze back down to the clothes in front of him, Alec hoped Jace wouldn't realize he was blushing.

By the Angel, why was he blushing?

"I was happy and a virgin when I first started dating Magnus." They'd waited, no matter how insistent Alec had been. Magnus had promised he wouldn't 'take advantage' of someone underage even if that person was a Shadowhunter who was in dangers most adults never even dreamed of.

Remembering that he was supposed to be deciding on the sweater, he studied his reflection. It was tighter than he liked, but that didn't mean that it didn't fit. "I don't know. Magnus would like it but I don't know if that means it's the right size."

"No. It's perfect." Jace murmured, caught by the sight of Alec in his sweater. It fit perfectly, but he knew ALec would prefer something less snug. "You could wear it for Magnus and getting a slightly larger size for yourself if that's what you would prefer. I think it's perfect."

But it didn't really matter what he thought of the sweater he reminded himself, deciding not to try on any more pants. He'd simply buy everything he picked out, and the items Alec picked for him.

"Okay. I have three new pairs of jeans, socks, underwear, t-shirts, sparring pants." He smirked at the last because he really couldn't wait to get back to training properly. "I still need boots, a jacket, gloves."

"I - uh - " He wasn't sure what he wanted to say or what he should say. He wasn't used to Jace using that tone or looking at him like that. "You're probably right. It fits. I'm just used to everything being oversized from before." Before Magnus. Before he'd stopped hiding from everyone. In his own way, his clothing had been the same kind of armor that Magnus wore. Magnus wanted to impress while Alec had wanted to hide.

Pulling off his sweater, he scowled when he saw his reflection and realized it looked like his hair had exploded into a poof of static and curls. "How do all of you get your hair perfect all the time." Alec didn't care if his hair was styled, but it'd be helpful if he could keep it from looking like a cat had curled up on his head.

"I don't think they have the type of boots we need here." Pulling on one of a dark red henley, he sighed when his hair somehow managed to look worse. "Does the place that you got the elf costume have jackets and boots?"

Jace felt his heart race, skip beats, beat too hard in his chest, and it all seemed to be happening at the same time. The dark red was just as perfect on Alec as the sweater had been and before he could even think about what he was doing-or what he shouldn't be doing-he had moved to stand next to Alec.

"I like your hair the way it is." He gently pulled Alec around to face him and reached up to try and tame Alec's hair. Not because he thought it needed taming. "It doesn't follow the rules. It makes it's own rules. Standing out, being noticed, just like you. It's unintentional. But you caught the attention of the High Warlock of Brooklyn with this hair."

He smiled affectionately and pulled his hands away, not wanting to linger too long even if he loved having his fingers in Alec's hair.

"Perfection is an illusion." Looking away, Jace went back to his side of the dressing room. "I think they do. We could go there next and then maybe grab some food."

He began to argue that he looked ridiculous when he noticed the way Jace was staring as he reached up to touch Alec's hair. His breath stuttered and before he realized what he was doing, he tipped his head slightly so that it'd be easier for Jace to try to undo the damage the shirt had caused.

Magnus had said that he thought Jace had feelings un-parabatai feelings despite Alec's claims that Jace was in love with Clary. Now he began to wonder if his husband was right.

If Jace didn't seem so happy, acting as if he truly wanted Alec near, he would have been angry. For years, he'd wanted Jace to have feelings for him and now that he was married to the man he loved, Jace was showing the interest a teenage Alec had dreamed of. But Magnus hadn't been angry when they'd discussed Jace and Alec knew that his crush wasn't completely forgotten.

Which made things more complicated than he really wanted to consider without his husband's input. They could discuss it later. For now he wanted to enjoy his parabatai being his parabatai instead of the distant person Alec had grown used to. "Says the people whose hair never looks like a wounded hedgehog." When Jace moved away, Alec sorted through the rest of the clothes he'd brought into the dressing room. "I liked the armor. It reminded me of the books we read when we were kids."

"But they may feel like one." Jace responded quietly. More recently he'd felt so far from perfect he wasn't sure he'd ever feel anything except pain and fear and self loathing. He only tried so hard to be perfect because anything less meant he wasn't worthy of the things he wanted. He wanted to be worthy of the love Robert and Maryse showed him.

He wanted to be worth something more than the perfection everyone expected from him.

It was confusing, like his feelings for Alec.

And Magnus.

He'd promised Magnus he wouldn't hurt either of them and he had to keep that promise.

"Maybe we should get you some leather armor to match." He smiled, carefully folding up the clothes he'd picked out and placing them in a neat pile. He picked out a black t-shirt and a pair of socks and decided to wear the blue jeans out of the store. With the blue briefs. Stripping out of the black jeans and then getting fully dressed, "Do you want to try on more clothes? Or should we go find leather armor?"

He almost pulled Jace close for a hug, remembering how his parabatai had needed contact when they first arrived in Quarantine, but that would probably be a bad idea when Jace kept worrying over the flirting at the party. Something was going on. If Alec wasn't with Magnus, he'd think it was the obvious but he knew that Jace wouldn't hurt him or Magnus by doing anything that might harm the marriage.

Touching Jace's arm, he gave him a fond smile. "You seem to be feeling better. Baking because you want to instead of how things were before." It'd taken awhile for Alec to figure out that particular trait. Jace hadn't been interested in baking before, avoiding the kitchen even when Izzy wasn't in the Institute. Now he seemed to thrive when he was mixing up batters and figuring out how to make elaborate cakes.

"They have more of that armor?" Alec had assumed that there wouldn't be more with that design. Looking over at the haphazard stack of clothes he'd brought into the dressing room, he thought of how happy Magnus would be that he had new clothes... and the possibility of having armor like the fantasy novels he loved. He knew the sizes were right. Jace had approved of the colors. Everything should work. If not he could always take whatever didn't fit back.

Grinning at his parabatai, he began to straighten his selections into a stack that wouldn't make the clerk want to slap him for making their job difficult. "I'm good. You need to show me that store."

Jace looked when Alec touched his arm, getting caught by the smile and easily returning it. "Not taking the cure was probably the best decision I've ever made. And considering the decisions I've made have a habit of making things worse..." He shrugged and put his boots back on, frowning slightly at the way they clashed with his new clothes. "I haven't forgotten what he did, but I'm no longer suffocating because of it."

Jace looked up at Alec and smiled, charming and affectionate. "There was one other I had my eye on before I picked the armor I wore to the ball. I think it would be perfect for you."

It was one he'd stared at for a long time before choosing the other. Dark green leather with matching bow and quiver. If Alec hadn't been married and attending the ball with his husband he would have suggested they go to the ball together.

A question tempted him, but Alec knew that he couldn't ask. He assumed that he knew who Jace referred to, but not what had been done. Jace had been abused and still occasionally reacted like the scared boy that had been left at the Institute, but it hadn't been as bad as the first few weeks in this reality since those early years. Nothing that happened to them during the war except the possession...

Was he wrong and the 'he' wasn't Valentine? Could Jace be thinking of what Sebastian had done to him?

No, he couldn't ask. Not when Jace was finally starting to be happy again. And, if it was related to Sebastian, did he really want that discussed when eventually Max might find out the truth?

"I can't really remember when you were this happy." There was a hint of it. A strange puzzle-piece of a memory that didn't make sense. Jace dancing with Clary, while he laughed with Magnus, finally free of the heartache that almost tore them apart. But they all had been dressed like they'd been at some formal event...

The smile startled him, reminding him of the way Jace had looked at him before. It seemed that Alec's life was always divided into Befores and Afters but he wasn't quite sure which 'before' this one was related to. "How can it be perfect for me if you were going to wear it?" Focus on the armor, not the smile. "Wouldn't it be too short for me?"

Jace honestly couldn't remember ever feeling this happy. He'd come close. The day he met Alec, the day they'd become parabatai, those were the happiest he'd been his entire life. Those years between and the time after, before he'd met Clary-Jace stopped where his mind was going and focused on the armor and Alec.

"I wasn't going to wear it. I was going to buy it for you. But then what would I have worn to the ball?" He smirked, suddenly standing up and turning away to gather his clothes. "Ready? I need a new pair of boots and a jacket."

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