riverviewlogs | Boys Day Out

Entry tags:

Boys Day Out

who: Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland
what: Bonding time!
when: September 25
where: All Over, Shopping and Food
warnings: To be added as needed.

Good, truly happy moments, seemed more like a falling star you could only catch a glimpse of, feeling that rush of euphoria and genuine emotion, and they were gone. You remembered them, of course, but holding onto them was much more difficult. Bad, truly horrible moments, made time feel like it was crawling, belly down against the earth, fingernails raw and broken, bleeding, as you tried to pull yourself free.

Until recently Jace had been tapped, constantly in fear and pain, suffering and unable to grasp a single good, truly happy moment, without it being ripped away again.

When the cure for the strange plant causing all the even stranger memory loss problems all over Riverview was discovered and shared, Jace had decided to keep the cure on hand, just in case, but he didn't take it. He didn't want to recover the memories. He was sure the only way he could describe what had happened to him was to call it memory distancing or muting. He remembered. But he had healed. Somehow. The pain wasn't gone, the fear still there, all in the distance. Far, far away. Like one of Simon's nerdy stories.

But he was happier. Far happier than he'd been in a long time.

It was a good thing, really, to have things back in perspective and being capable of logical thought without the overwhelming emotions attached to them. Very good. Because dealing with new emotions and complicated emotions was difficult even on his best day. Demons? Not a problem. Mundane puppies in love getting captured and turned into a Vampire? Not as much of a problem as demon pox might be. Having deep emotions--he was not in love--"Alec! Pick a color that isn't a shade of black."

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Stepping back, Alec watched in amusement as Jace started sorting everything. Most beings assumed that his parabatai wouldn't be so careful with details, but he'd noticed it immediately. When he had arrived at the Institute, everything Jace owned had been carefully organized. He'd never been sure if that was Valentine's doing or some personality quirk that was simply part of Jace's personality but he knew better than to interrupt.

"To buy records at or to run?" he teased, knowing that neither one of them was ready to leave the Perimeter Guard.

Running his hand along the sleeve of the green sweater, he considered Jace's comment about Clary. Missing her hadn't been something he'd expected... at least not as much as he had since they'd arrived in this world. "Back home she's - " Your fiancee. But every time Alec mentioned that relationship, it caused Jace to react in unpredictable ways, hurting his parabatai deeply. "She's family. Simon's the one that's more difficult to figure out if I miss or not."

He didn't mean it in a negative way. He liked Simon as much as he could like someone he was rarely around except in the context of Simon always being with Clary or Izzy. But things had happened that made their potential friendship complicated. "I think you two would resolve the confusion after a couple days."

And then Jace would forget about him. By the Angel, he should not be glad that Clary wasn't here. It was wrong.

Except it was difficult to remember that when Jace smiled at him in a way that made his heart stutter almost as badly as when Magnus looked at him. He was not a teenager with a crush. He had to quit noticing those smiles. "If we find one, Magnus can help us get it into the apartment."

"You really miss owning a music shop." Jace considered Alec thoughtfully, wondering how he could help with that loss. He had an idea, a birthday gift for Alec. Shelves full of records and a place to play them.

He could build that. He was already building a indoor greenhouse in the corner that got the best light and replacing the walls with windows. Lucifer had said he could do anything he wanted so long as he didn't bring the entire building down.

"Simon is Simon." Even as Jace said his name and thought about Simon his eyes brightened a bit and he couldn't hold back the twitch of his lips, wanting to smile. Instead he inhaled through his nose and reached for the bags once the cashier was finished ringing up their purchases.

"You're right. She's family." And he's not in love with her. But try telling that to Clary.

"We'll find one." He handed Alec his bag and started backing away towards the entrance. "Leather first. And a bow if it passes your expert approval."

"Not the shop, the music." The shop had been boring and there'd been times when Alec was restless. Not often because Magnus had usually shown up when Alec started getting bored and they'd found ways to enjoy a quiet afternoon. Most of that had been the two of them acting like newlyweds, but there'd also been hours spent curling up, listening to whatever the jukebox was playing.

"Simon's a hero," he said automatically while pretending he didn't notice Jace's reaction to Clary's best friend. As he paid for his purchases, he considered how to deal with the Clary situation. He remembered Jace being madly in love with her, ready to burn the world to ashes to protect her or to prove his love. Now he seemed to easily accept that Clary might be his sibling when before he'd been heartbroken and pining over that possibility.

"Of course she's family. Your people are my people." That was an easier answer than one that might cause Jace to have another relapse. "Eventually we'll find a bow that's good enough. Then a piano that's good enough for your expert approval."

"Somehow I am not surprised to hear that. I should be, but I'm not." Jace remembered the way Simon had stood up to him. No matter what happened, no matter how scared Simon had been, he didn't back down. He did what he believed was right and Jace had treated him like he was nothing.

"Music. Bow. Leather. Anything else we need to pick up while we're out?" Jace got an idea and stopped outside the entrance to the shop. "Something for Magnus?"

It was perfectly normal for him to be asking about Magnus. "As a thank you. He did give me a proper bed and healed me when I first arrived. I don't think I said thank you for that."

He had. Maybe a gift would be too obvious.

"Music shop next. And then food. I'm starving."

Alec waited for Jace to say something more about Simon, knowing that the two of them had bonded after they'd returned from Idris. But that might be another area where their memories were different or Jace's memories had faded thanks to whatever had caused the memory lapses weeks earlier. "We really shouldn't have been surprised. How he stayed with Clary even when most Mundanes would have ran screaming away should have told us that he'd be a hero."

There was more to it than that, but Alec didn't want to ruin their afternoon with confusion or conflicting memories.

"I don't think so." Magnus had found furniture for Jace's room, or would know the best shops for something that would be comfortable and fit the styles that Jace preferred. He paused, surprised that Jace had suggested a gift, but unsure of what his parabatai meant until he elaborated. "He'd - he'd like a gift or a thank you." Few people ever thanked Magnus for his work. Or if they did, it was a transaction, not an expression of gratitude. "People don't usually appreciate his magic."

They'd been guilty of it too, but usually Alec tried to find some way to remind Magnus that he wasn't just the 'pet warlock' of the group.

"Food first, if you're starving. I can't let my parabatai collapse from hunger."

Simon handled everything with more courage than he'd expect from any Mundane. Jace tried to imagine being honest with Simon and he simply couldn't. Simon loved Clary. Simon hated him. Simon didn't need his honesty.

"Including me." It was easier to admit he was a jerk than to admit feelings for anyone. Especially feelings for Magnus or Simon or anyone else. Like Alec, for example. "Maybe I could make him something. I have extra wood from working on the indoor greenhouse."

A chest? A shoe rack? Shelves for makeup? Jewelry box? And then he thought of something he'd have to do a bit of research for. A music box shouldn't be too difficult.

"Does Magnus have a special connection to a specific melody or song?"

Jace looked around for anything close by where they could sit and eat before heading to the music shop. He spotted a sandwich and soup shop and nudged ALec in that direction.

"You need to eat, too."

He wasn't sure if the 'including me' was related to Simon or Magnus. Since Simon is still a complicated subject for him, Alec decided to focus on his husband instead before he said something stupid or hurtful by accident while attempting to say how important Simon was.

"Including almost everyone, Jace. And I can't say I'm much better at noticing things. I thought you had no furniture because you were rebelling against parental influences." It wouldn't have surprised him if that had been the answer. Jace's life had been carefully structured by Valentine with no room for errors or anything that wasn't absolutely necessary for a hunt. Robert and Maryse had been less strict, but they hadn't exactly been loving or encouraged Jace to have more interests than warfare. "He'd like whatever you gave him." Usually that was what Magnus would say about Alec's gifts, but he knew that something that was thoughtful, appreciative, would be special.

A few answers came to mind, but each had a connection to dates or a certain party where they'd ended up almost ruining the couch. Fidgeting with one of the bags, he managed to cover his flush before thinking of something to say. "His tastes are eclectic after living so long. Are you thinking of learning to play something for him?" That would determine what he suggested since some pieces would be difficult on the piano.

Rolling his eyes at the nudge, he headed toward the shop. "I ate breakfast. Did you?"

"I made breakfast." Jace smirked, bumping his shoulder against Alec's arm. "I was thinking a music box." But was that too silly? "Does he like music boxes? I could make something else. Bookshelf. Chest. A vanity."

Moving his bags to one hand he looped the other through Alec's arm, walking side by side with him. This felt good. It felt right to be by Alec's side, not constantly snapping at each other because he'd been too hard headed to realize how much of a jerk he was being to his parabatai.

"Stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault. I was in a dark place, Alec. I didn't want to drag you there with me, but I did."

And for that he was truly sorry. He'd promised himself he wouldn't hurt Alec again and he had. He alwasy did. No matter how hard he tried not to.

"Making it doesn't mean you ate it." He was being picky, but a few months ago it would have been possible that Jace had cooked but not eaten anything. He was better now. The differences between how his parabatai had acted in the past and now almost impossible to believe. He couldn't remember Jace ever being so calm or happy.

"I don't know if he's had one recently." Magnus probably had owned them in the past. There hadn't been that many ways of recording music in previous centuries. "I think he'd like a music box, especially one that was home made. It's the kind of thing he'd keep over the years." Briefly, he thought of the silver snuffbox, then shoved the memory aside. Sometimes Alec wished that he hadn't gotten the majority of his memories back. It helped him be more aware of others' thoughts and feelings, but sometimes he didn't want to remember how petty and jealous he'd been to Magnus. "Maybe make it big enough that he could put other special things in it." But maybe it was better to think of those fights than the mortality problem.

His lips quirked in a half-smile as Jace decided he needed more contact. It reminded him of when they were kids and... No, that couldn't be right. It shouldn't remind him of something Magnus would do. Jace was his parabatai, not his husband or boyfriend.

"I should have dragged you out of that dark place, not ignored you." But Alec knew that if Jace wanted to be left alone, he'd find a way to manage it. At least he hadn't run away or driven them all out of his life. "You're not there anymore?"

"I ate. I promise."

Jace considered ideas for a music box, especially one Magnus could use to hold other items, and the design he'd use. He was also thinking about the music. And what he wanted to eat because he was starving. Izzy never mentioned shopping making her hungry.

He enjoyed having Alec at his side like this. It was a good day.

"You weren't ignoring me. We're not kids anymore. You shouldn't have to babysit me."

He smiled at the question and answered with a simple, "No." The thoughts and memories, the emotions, they were all still there. He didn't feel like he was suffocating under the weight of them all now. "I found my light in the dark."

When they reached the shop, Jace pulled his arm free and opened the door for Alec. "Does Magnus have a favorite song?"

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Boys Day Out

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