riverviewlogs | Boys Day Out

who: Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland
what: Bonding time!
when: September 25
where: All Over, Shopping and Food
warnings: To be added as needed.

Good, truly happy moments, seemed more like a falling star you could only catch a glimpse of, feeling that rush of euphoria and genuine emotion, and they were gone. You remembered them, of course, but holding onto them was much more difficult. Bad, truly horrible moments, made time feel like it was crawling, belly down against the earth, fingernails raw and broken, bleeding, as you tried to pull yourself free.

Until recently Jace had been tapped, constantly in fear and pain, suffering and unable to grasp a single good, truly happy moment, without it being ripped away again.

When the cure for the strange plant causing all the even stranger memory loss problems all over Riverview was discovered and shared, Jace had decided to keep the cure on hand, just in case, but he didn't take it. He didn't want to recover the memories. He was sure the only way he could describe what had happened to him was to call it memory distancing or muting. He remembered. But he had healed. Somehow. The pain wasn't gone, the fear still there, all in the distance. Far, far away. Like one of Simon's nerdy stories.

But he was happier. Far happier than he'd been in a long time.

It was a good thing, really, to have things back in perspective and being capable of logical thought without the overwhelming emotions attached to them. Very good. Because dealing with new emotions and complicated emotions was difficult even on his best day. Demons? Not a problem. Mundane puppies in love getting captured and turned into a Vampire? Not as much of a problem as demon pox might be. Having deep emotions--he was not in love--"Alec! Pick a color that isn't a shade of black."

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Simon handled everything with more courage than he'd expect from any Mundane. Jace tried to imagine being honest with Simon and he simply couldn't. Simon loved Clary. Simon hated him. Simon didn't need his honesty.

"Including me." It was easier to admit he was a jerk than to admit feelings for anyone. Especially feelings for Magnus or Simon or anyone else. Like Alec, for example. "Maybe I could make him something. I have extra wood from working on the indoor greenhouse."

A chest? A shoe rack? Shelves for makeup? Jewelry box? And then he thought of something he'd have to do a bit of research for. A music box shouldn't be too difficult.

"Does Magnus have a special connection to a specific melody or song?"

Jace looked around for anything close by where they could sit and eat before heading to the music shop. He spotted a sandwich and soup shop and nudged ALec in that direction.

"You need to eat, too."

He wasn't sure if the 'including me' was related to Simon or Magnus. Since Simon is still a complicated subject for him, Alec decided to focus on his husband instead before he said something stupid or hurtful by accident while attempting to say how important Simon was.

"Including almost everyone, Jace. And I can't say I'm much better at noticing things. I thought you had no furniture because you were rebelling against parental influences." It wouldn't have surprised him if that had been the answer. Jace's life had been carefully structured by Valentine with no room for errors or anything that wasn't absolutely necessary for a hunt. Robert and Maryse had been less strict, but they hadn't exactly been loving or encouraged Jace to have more interests than warfare. "He'd like whatever you gave him." Usually that was what Magnus would say about Alec's gifts, but he knew that something that was thoughtful, appreciative, would be special.

A few answers came to mind, but each had a connection to dates or a certain party where they'd ended up almost ruining the couch. Fidgeting with one of the bags, he managed to cover his flush before thinking of something to say. "His tastes are eclectic after living so long. Are you thinking of learning to play something for him?" That would determine what he suggested since some pieces would be difficult on the piano.

Rolling his eyes at the nudge, he headed toward the shop. "I ate breakfast. Did you?"

"I made breakfast." Jace smirked, bumping his shoulder against Alec's arm. "I was thinking a music box." But was that too silly? "Does he like music boxes? I could make something else. Bookshelf. Chest. A vanity."

Moving his bags to one hand he looped the other through Alec's arm, walking side by side with him. This felt good. It felt right to be by Alec's side, not constantly snapping at each other because he'd been too hard headed to realize how much of a jerk he was being to his parabatai.

"Stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault. I was in a dark place, Alec. I didn't want to drag you there with me, but I did."

And for that he was truly sorry. He'd promised himself he wouldn't hurt Alec again and he had. He alwasy did. No matter how hard he tried not to.

"Making it doesn't mean you ate it." He was being picky, but a few months ago it would have been possible that Jace had cooked but not eaten anything. He was better now. The differences between how his parabatai had acted in the past and now almost impossible to believe. He couldn't remember Jace ever being so calm or happy.

"I don't know if he's had one recently." Magnus probably had owned them in the past. There hadn't been that many ways of recording music in previous centuries. "I think he'd like a music box, especially one that was home made. It's the kind of thing he'd keep over the years." Briefly, he thought of the silver snuffbox, then shoved the memory aside. Sometimes Alec wished that he hadn't gotten the majority of his memories back. It helped him be more aware of others' thoughts and feelings, but sometimes he didn't want to remember how petty and jealous he'd been to Magnus. "Maybe make it big enough that he could put other special things in it." But maybe it was better to think of those fights than the mortality problem.

His lips quirked in a half-smile as Jace decided he needed more contact. It reminded him of when they were kids and... No, that couldn't be right. It shouldn't remind him of something Magnus would do. Jace was his parabatai, not his husband or boyfriend.

"I should have dragged you out of that dark place, not ignored you." But Alec knew that if Jace wanted to be left alone, he'd find a way to manage it. At least he hadn't run away or driven them all out of his life. "You're not there anymore?"

"I ate. I promise."

Jace considered ideas for a music box, especially one Magnus could use to hold other items, and the design he'd use. He was also thinking about the music. And what he wanted to eat because he was starving. Izzy never mentioned shopping making her hungry.

He enjoyed having Alec at his side like this. It was a good day.

"You weren't ignoring me. We're not kids anymore. You shouldn't have to babysit me."

He smiled at the question and answered with a simple, "No." The thoughts and memories, the emotions, they were all still there. He didn't feel like he was suffocating under the weight of them all now. "I found my light in the dark."

When they reached the shop, Jace pulled his arm free and opened the door for Alec. "Does Magnus have a favorite song?"

Boys Day Out

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