riverviewlogs | Boys Day Out

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Boys Day Out

who: Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland
what: Bonding time!
when: September 25
where: All Over, Shopping and Food
warnings: To be added as needed.

Good, truly happy moments, seemed more like a falling star you could only catch a glimpse of, feeling that rush of euphoria and genuine emotion, and they were gone. You remembered them, of course, but holding onto them was much more difficult. Bad, truly horrible moments, made time feel like it was crawling, belly down against the earth, fingernails raw and broken, bleeding, as you tried to pull yourself free.

Until recently Jace had been tapped, constantly in fear and pain, suffering and unable to grasp a single good, truly happy moment, without it being ripped away again.

When the cure for the strange plant causing all the even stranger memory loss problems all over Riverview was discovered and shared, Jace had decided to keep the cure on hand, just in case, but he didn't take it. He didn't want to recover the memories. He was sure the only way he could describe what had happened to him was to call it memory distancing or muting. He remembered. But he had healed. Somehow. The pain wasn't gone, the fear still there, all in the distance. Far, far away. Like one of Simon's nerdy stories.

But he was happier. Far happier than he'd been in a long time.

It was a good thing, really, to have things back in perspective and being capable of logical thought without the overwhelming emotions attached to them. Very good. Because dealing with new emotions and complicated emotions was difficult even on his best day. Demons? Not a problem. Mundane puppies in love getting captured and turned into a Vampire? Not as much of a problem as demon pox might be. Having deep emotions--he was not in love--"Alec! Pick a color that isn't a shade of black."

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"But they may feel like one." Jace responded quietly. More recently he'd felt so far from perfect he wasn't sure he'd ever feel anything except pain and fear and self loathing. He only tried so hard to be perfect because anything less meant he wasn't worthy of the things he wanted. He wanted to be worthy of the love Robert and Maryse showed him.

He wanted to be worth something more than the perfection everyone expected from him.

It was confusing, like his feelings for Alec.

And Magnus.

He'd promised Magnus he wouldn't hurt either of them and he had to keep that promise.

"Maybe we should get you some leather armor to match." He smiled, carefully folding up the clothes he'd picked out and placing them in a neat pile. He picked out a black t-shirt and a pair of socks and decided to wear the blue jeans out of the store. With the blue briefs. Stripping out of the black jeans and then getting fully dressed, "Do you want to try on more clothes? Or should we go find leather armor?"

He almost pulled Jace close for a hug, remembering how his parabatai had needed contact when they first arrived in Quarantine, but that would probably be a bad idea when Jace kept worrying over the flirting at the party. Something was going on. If Alec wasn't with Magnus, he'd think it was the obvious but he knew that Jace wouldn't hurt him or Magnus by doing anything that might harm the marriage.

Touching Jace's arm, he gave him a fond smile. "You seem to be feeling better. Baking because you want to instead of how things were before." It'd taken awhile for Alec to figure out that particular trait. Jace hadn't been interested in baking before, avoiding the kitchen even when Izzy wasn't in the Institute. Now he seemed to thrive when he was mixing up batters and figuring out how to make elaborate cakes.

"They have more of that armor?" Alec had assumed that there wouldn't be more with that design. Looking over at the haphazard stack of clothes he'd brought into the dressing room, he thought of how happy Magnus would be that he had new clothes... and the possibility of having armor like the fantasy novels he loved. He knew the sizes were right. Jace had approved of the colors. Everything should work. If not he could always take whatever didn't fit back.

Grinning at his parabatai, he began to straighten his selections into a stack that wouldn't make the clerk want to slap him for making their job difficult. "I'm good. You need to show me that store."

Jace looked when Alec touched his arm, getting caught by the smile and easily returning it. "Not taking the cure was probably the best decision I've ever made. And considering the decisions I've made have a habit of making things worse..." He shrugged and put his boots back on, frowning slightly at the way they clashed with his new clothes. "I haven't forgotten what he did, but I'm no longer suffocating because of it."

Jace looked up at Alec and smiled, charming and affectionate. "There was one other I had my eye on before I picked the armor I wore to the ball. I think it would be perfect for you."

It was one he'd stared at for a long time before choosing the other. Dark green leather with matching bow and quiver. If Alec hadn't been married and attending the ball with his husband he would have suggested they go to the ball together.

A question tempted him, but Alec knew that he couldn't ask. He assumed that he knew who Jace referred to, but not what had been done. Jace had been abused and still occasionally reacted like the scared boy that had been left at the Institute, but it hadn't been as bad as the first few weeks in this reality since those early years. Nothing that happened to them during the war except the possession...

Was he wrong and the 'he' wasn't Valentine? Could Jace be thinking of what Sebastian had done to him?

No, he couldn't ask. Not when Jace was finally starting to be happy again. And, if it was related to Sebastian, did he really want that discussed when eventually Max might find out the truth?

"I can't really remember when you were this happy." There was a hint of it. A strange puzzle-piece of a memory that didn't make sense. Jace dancing with Clary, while he laughed with Magnus, finally free of the heartache that almost tore them apart. But they all had been dressed like they'd been at some formal event...

The smile startled him, reminding him of the way Jace had looked at him before. It seemed that Alec's life was always divided into Befores and Afters but he wasn't quite sure which 'before' this one was related to. "How can it be perfect for me if you were going to wear it?" Focus on the armor, not the smile. "Wouldn't it be too short for me?"

Jace honestly couldn't remember ever feeling this happy. He'd come close. The day he met Alec, the day they'd become parabatai, those were the happiest he'd been his entire life. Those years between and the time after, before he'd met Clary-Jace stopped where his mind was going and focused on the armor and Alec.

"I wasn't going to wear it. I was going to buy it for you. But then what would I have worn to the ball?" He smirked, suddenly standing up and turning away to gather his clothes. "Ready? I need a new pair of boots and a jacket."

Jace had thought of buying armor for him like they type they'd daydreamed about when they were kids. The gesture was more thoughtful than any act he could remember Jace offering in years. Even when Alec had been heartbroken, Jace hadn't considered that type of kindness.

"Why couldn't you wear the armor you bought if you got me the other set?" That didn't make sense. If Jace didn't want the set he'd thought of for Alec, why couldn't he wear the black armor he'd bought for the masquerade? Making sure that he had the sweater and the henley, Alec nodded. "I have the feeling you're going to need more than that. Magnus is going to decorate your room if you don't pick out things for yourself."

"You'll understand once you see the price tag." Jace winced slightly. He'd actually had money saved, mostly because he hadn't spent much on himself at all. Except for the alcohol.

"Let him decorate. Just no glitter. Please." Okay maybe letting Magnus have complete control over decorating his room was not a completely great idea. But the idea that Magnus would be apart of it made him feel....slightly guilty. "What else do I need?"

Blankets? Sheets? Towels? Okay. He might need a few things. Books. Music. Pillows. Personal touches he wouldn't mind adding to make the room more like home.

That should concern him, but between the five of them, they had enough money for what they needed. It also helped that Alec was married to someone with magic. Magnus wouldn't mind if he bought a set of armor that reminded Alec of his childhood. "Good thing I didn't sell my soul for the apartment. I may have to sign it away for the armor."

Fighting back a smile as he realized what Jace had agreed to, he checked to make sure they hadn't left anything in the changing room. "Are you sure you want to agree to that? He used to redecorate the Loft at least once a week." More than that if Alec ever seemed uncomfortable with any of the furniture.

"You need more than a bed and linens." Alec know that Magnus would find those for Jace. Better than any of the ones either of the parabatai would choose for themselves. "You should have something that's you."

"Your soul is worth more than the armor. Make sure you get the bow and quiver, too." Jace grinned, opening the door tot he dressing room and heading towards the front of the shop.

"Should I set some ground rules for decorating my room?" He asked, starting to wonder if he should talk to Magnus about this. But that meant having to face him after what had happened at the ball. He hadn't really been avoiding him. Not really. But he also hadn't properly apologized.

"What would that be? Other than weapons and a full length mirror for my ego?" He teased, looking back at Alec to make sure he was right behind him.

"Would the bow and quiver be up to our standards?" Probably not the same quality as what the'd get from the Iron Sisters, but maybe something Alec could use when he didn't think angelic weapons were necessary. Then he wouldn't have to worry about his prized possession getting damaged while they were on missions.

"You probably should or you'll end up with something very bright or very angular." He made a face as he thought of that particular design. It'd been one Magnus had been favoring when Alec had gone to the Loft to move out. His heart clenched and he closed his eyes, remembering Jace's awkward attempts at comforting him. "Or everythign will be Victorian." Alec kind of liked those weeks except that the furniture was too short for him.

He ignored teh comment about ego since they both knew it wasn't true no matter how much Alec snarked about it. "Poetry. Music." Knowing how much the three of them loved music, they should find a music shop this afternoon. "Magnus will probably get you a piano if you want. Is there anything you miss from the Institute? When we were in Wayward Pines, I noticed I missed some things from home and we started gravitating toward them." There were a few things that Alec missed from Idaho, but that was easy to ignore.

"I doubt anything we find will be up to our standards, but they could be worth the money and having the extra weapons isn't a bad idea." Jace mostly liked the idea of Alec having more than one bow. And it was a very pretty bow.

He wondered if Magnus would be willing to combine a few different style's. Or if that would clash with his good taste in furniture and clothes. Not good. Great. Not something Jace would want for himself, but it fit Magnus in ways that went beyond simple fashion. The colors, fabrics, even the glitter. Jace smiled to himself and dropped his purchases on the counter next to the first available cashier.

"A piano would be nice." But did he miss anything back home? When he thought about home he thought of the Institute, Maryse and Robert, Clary and Simon, his father. "No. I can't think of anything I miss I can't find here."

It should hurt, he did miss Maryse and Simon, even Clary on some level. But it felt like it was so long ago, home and everything that came with it, he couldn't think of anything he would want to have here. Unless Magnus could bring people and then maybe-and it's a very big maybe-he'd be okay with Simon joining their little family. Someone to distract him from Magnus's ass and Alec's lips.

"I wouldn't mind having another bow, just in case. If it's worth the price." He wasn't going to pay more than a bow was worth just so he could protect his angelic weapons. There were other places in the city that they could visit for weapons if the leather shop didn't have the type of bow that he wanted. He could live with average blades, but he needed the best for his archery.

Following his parabatai he smiled at the clerk that seemed slightly dazed by Jace. It was a reaction that he was used to. Everyone seemed to notice him, barely paying attention to Alec, which meant he could watch how the clerk mentally flailed over his parabatai.

"We both could play." It'd been awhile since Alec had had a chance to practice. Before they'd had more chances since the Institute was mostly deserted but after Clary showed up and Alec started dating Magnus, there really hadn't been an opportunity for him to play. He wasn't even sure if Magnus knew that he could play.

"I miss music," he admitted, thinking of Wayward Pines and the music store. He'd had dozens of records at his fingertips, listening to something new every day with Magnus keeping him company in the shop. Once he'd started remembering Jace, he'd missed him as well, wishing he could share the music with his best friend.

"I miss us playing piano together, practicing songs that Robert and Maryse would hate, but I don't really miss anything from home except Clary and Simon." He should miss his parents, but he knew that they'd be furious over Magnus and he wanted to keep the happy memories of them intact instead of thinking of how they'd disapproved of the people he loved.

Jace sorted through everything, placing the items in neat little piles to make the cashier's job easier. The bow he'd seen was pretty, but he hadn't held it or examined it close enough to decide if it was worth the money. He'd leave that up to Alec, the expert archer.

"Then we should find a music shop."

Once he had everything organized Jace turned to Alec and started taking clothes and folding them into similar piles.

"I'm a little surprised to hear you say that. Simon is a given. I miss Simon, too. But Clary?" He raised an eyebrow at Alec, curious and questioning. "I miss her, but I think she'll be better without me around confusing her. Or..." Breaking her heart when she caught him admiring Alec and Magnus.

Jace was almost positive Alec hadn't noticed, but after the ball he was sure Magnus noticed something. Even if he had been drinking then he wasn't now. What would be his reason for getting caught staring at Alec? Or Magnus? Lost in thought?

"We should definitely have a piano and play together." He smiled. At Alec. Not the cashier. Other than paying he barely acknowledged her beyond being polite.

Stepping back, Alec watched in amusement as Jace started sorting everything. Most beings assumed that his parabatai wouldn't be so careful with details, but he'd noticed it immediately. When he had arrived at the Institute, everything Jace owned had been carefully organized. He'd never been sure if that was Valentine's doing or some personality quirk that was simply part of Jace's personality but he knew better than to interrupt.

"To buy records at or to run?" he teased, knowing that neither one of them was ready to leave the Perimeter Guard.

Running his hand along the sleeve of the green sweater, he considered Jace's comment about Clary. Missing her hadn't been something he'd expected... at least not as much as he had since they'd arrived in this world. "Back home she's - " Your fiancee. But every time Alec mentioned that relationship, it caused Jace to react in unpredictable ways, hurting his parabatai deeply. "She's family. Simon's the one that's more difficult to figure out if I miss or not."

He didn't mean it in a negative way. He liked Simon as much as he could like someone he was rarely around except in the context of Simon always being with Clary or Izzy. But things had happened that made their potential friendship complicated. "I think you two would resolve the confusion after a couple days."

And then Jace would forget about him. By the Angel, he should not be glad that Clary wasn't here. It was wrong.

Except it was difficult to remember that when Jace smiled at him in a way that made his heart stutter almost as badly as when Magnus looked at him. He was not a teenager with a crush. He had to quit noticing those smiles. "If we find one, Magnus can help us get it into the apartment."

"You really miss owning a music shop." Jace considered Alec thoughtfully, wondering how he could help with that loss. He had an idea, a birthday gift for Alec. Shelves full of records and a place to play them.

He could build that. He was already building a indoor greenhouse in the corner that got the best light and replacing the walls with windows. Lucifer had said he could do anything he wanted so long as he didn't bring the entire building down.

"Simon is Simon." Even as Jace said his name and thought about Simon his eyes brightened a bit and he couldn't hold back the twitch of his lips, wanting to smile. Instead he inhaled through his nose and reached for the bags once the cashier was finished ringing up their purchases.

"You're right. She's family." And he's not in love with her. But try telling that to Clary.

"We'll find one." He handed Alec his bag and started backing away towards the entrance. "Leather first. And a bow if it passes your expert approval."

"Not the shop, the music." The shop had been boring and there'd been times when Alec was restless. Not often because Magnus had usually shown up when Alec started getting bored and they'd found ways to enjoy a quiet afternoon. Most of that had been the two of them acting like newlyweds, but there'd also been hours spent curling up, listening to whatever the jukebox was playing.

"Simon's a hero," he said automatically while pretending he didn't notice Jace's reaction to Clary's best friend. As he paid for his purchases, he considered how to deal with the Clary situation. He remembered Jace being madly in love with her, ready to burn the world to ashes to protect her or to prove his love. Now he seemed to easily accept that Clary might be his sibling when before he'd been heartbroken and pining over that possibility.

"Of course she's family. Your people are my people." That was an easier answer than one that might cause Jace to have another relapse. "Eventually we'll find a bow that's good enough. Then a piano that's good enough for your expert approval."

"Somehow I am not surprised to hear that. I should be, but I'm not." Jace remembered the way Simon had stood up to him. No matter what happened, no matter how scared Simon had been, he didn't back down. He did what he believed was right and Jace had treated him like he was nothing.

"Music. Bow. Leather. Anything else we need to pick up while we're out?" Jace got an idea and stopped outside the entrance to the shop. "Something for Magnus?"

It was perfectly normal for him to be asking about Magnus. "As a thank you. He did give me a proper bed and healed me when I first arrived. I don't think I said thank you for that."

He had. Maybe a gift would be too obvious.

"Music shop next. And then food. I'm starving."

Alec waited for Jace to say something more about Simon, knowing that the two of them had bonded after they'd returned from Idris. But that might be another area where their memories were different or Jace's memories had faded thanks to whatever had caused the memory lapses weeks earlier. "We really shouldn't have been surprised. How he stayed with Clary even when most Mundanes would have ran screaming away should have told us that he'd be a hero."

There was more to it than that, but Alec didn't want to ruin their afternoon with confusion or conflicting memories.

"I don't think so." Magnus had found furniture for Jace's room, or would know the best shops for something that would be comfortable and fit the styles that Jace preferred. He paused, surprised that Jace had suggested a gift, but unsure of what his parabatai meant until he elaborated. "He'd - he'd like a gift or a thank you." Few people ever thanked Magnus for his work. Or if they did, it was a transaction, not an expression of gratitude. "People don't usually appreciate his magic."

They'd been guilty of it too, but usually Alec tried to find some way to remind Magnus that he wasn't just the 'pet warlock' of the group.

"Food first, if you're starving. I can't let my parabatai collapse from hunger."

Simon handled everything with more courage than he'd expect from any Mundane. Jace tried to imagine being honest with Simon and he simply couldn't. Simon loved Clary. Simon hated him. Simon didn't need his honesty.

"Including me." It was easier to admit he was a jerk than to admit feelings for anyone. Especially feelings for Magnus or Simon or anyone else. Like Alec, for example. "Maybe I could make him something. I have extra wood from working on the indoor greenhouse."

A chest? A shoe rack? Shelves for makeup? Jewelry box? And then he thought of something he'd have to do a bit of research for. A music box shouldn't be too difficult.

"Does Magnus have a special connection to a specific melody or song?"

Jace looked around for anything close by where they could sit and eat before heading to the music shop. He spotted a sandwich and soup shop and nudged ALec in that direction.

"You need to eat, too."

He wasn't sure if the 'including me' was related to Simon or Magnus. Since Simon is still a complicated subject for him, Alec decided to focus on his husband instead before he said something stupid or hurtful by accident while attempting to say how important Simon was.

"Including almost everyone, Jace. And I can't say I'm much better at noticing things. I thought you had no furniture because you were rebelling against parental influences." It wouldn't have surprised him if that had been the answer. Jace's life had been carefully structured by Valentine with no room for errors or anything that wasn't absolutely necessary for a hunt. Robert and Maryse had been less strict, but they hadn't exactly been loving or encouraged Jace to have more interests than warfare. "He'd like whatever you gave him." Usually that was what Magnus would say about Alec's gifts, but he knew that something that was thoughtful, appreciative, would be special.

A few answers came to mind, but each had a connection to dates or a certain party where they'd ended up almost ruining the couch. Fidgeting with one of the bags, he managed to cover his flush before thinking of something to say. "His tastes are eclectic after living so long. Are you thinking of learning to play something for him?" That would determine what he suggested since some pieces would be difficult on the piano.

Rolling his eyes at the nudge, he headed toward the shop. "I ate breakfast. Did you?"

"I made breakfast." Jace smirked, bumping his shoulder against Alec's arm. "I was thinking a music box." But was that too silly? "Does he like music boxes? I could make something else. Bookshelf. Chest. A vanity."

Moving his bags to one hand he looped the other through Alec's arm, walking side by side with him. This felt good. It felt right to be by Alec's side, not constantly snapping at each other because he'd been too hard headed to realize how much of a jerk he was being to his parabatai.

"Stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault. I was in a dark place, Alec. I didn't want to drag you there with me, but I did."

And for that he was truly sorry. He'd promised himself he wouldn't hurt Alec again and he had. He alwasy did. No matter how hard he tried not to.

"Making it doesn't mean you ate it." He was being picky, but a few months ago it would have been possible that Jace had cooked but not eaten anything. He was better now. The differences between how his parabatai had acted in the past and now almost impossible to believe. He couldn't remember Jace ever being so calm or happy.

"I don't know if he's had one recently." Magnus probably had owned them in the past. There hadn't been that many ways of recording music in previous centuries. "I think he'd like a music box, especially one that was home made. It's the kind of thing he'd keep over the years." Briefly, he thought of the silver snuffbox, then shoved the memory aside. Sometimes Alec wished that he hadn't gotten the majority of his memories back. It helped him be more aware of others' thoughts and feelings, but sometimes he didn't want to remember how petty and jealous he'd been to Magnus. "Maybe make it big enough that he could put other special things in it." But maybe it was better to think of those fights than the mortality problem.

His lips quirked in a half-smile as Jace decided he needed more contact. It reminded him of when they were kids and... No, that couldn't be right. It shouldn't remind him of something Magnus would do. Jace was his parabatai, not his husband or boyfriend.

"I should have dragged you out of that dark place, not ignored you." But Alec knew that if Jace wanted to be left alone, he'd find a way to manage it. At least he hadn't run away or driven them all out of his life. "You're not there anymore?"

"I ate. I promise."

Jace considered ideas for a music box, especially one Magnus could use to hold other items, and the design he'd use. He was also thinking about the music. And what he wanted to eat because he was starving. Izzy never mentioned shopping making her hungry.

He enjoyed having Alec at his side like this. It was a good day.

"You weren't ignoring me. We're not kids anymore. You shouldn't have to babysit me."

He smiled at the question and answered with a simple, "No." The thoughts and memories, the emotions, they were all still there. He didn't feel like he was suffocating under the weight of them all now. "I found my light in the dark."

When they reached the shop, Jace pulled his arm free and opened the door for Alec. "Does Magnus have a favorite song?"

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Boys Day Out

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