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who: Ava & Loki
what: Ava needs help. Badly enough to go looking.
when: Post-fire
where: Gramarye Magic Research
warnings: None? I'll add if needed.

[It's a few days after the fire before she starts looking for answers to the problem of how to make sure she doesn't do this again. Initially, she just throws herself into the repair efforts. She's the first to show up and the last to leave, hauling debris and collecting buried personal items for others to distribute or repair. Anything she can. Part of it is guilt, and the other part is that it's something she can do, something to focus on, something to escape from the thoughts she doesn't want to face.

But when that's gone? There's nothing for it except to try and find solutions. Gramarye seems the best place to start. She's not sure if what she does counts as magic or not, but there's not exactly a place advertising help for people with powers liable to hurt people. It's somewhere to start, at least. She settles for looking for someone to talk to, that looks like they work here. It's probably a dumb idea, but it's at least better than asking on the network-- even if she posted it anonymously, there are a few too many people sharp enough to probably make the connections.

But the person she finds is not exactly who she was looking for. There's a brief moment where she almost considers turning around, but she's never been good at giving up. Instead she nods at him in some kind of acknowledgement.]

I didn't know you worked here.

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Then perhaps you need an outlet. A place to direct such powers so it no longer weighs on you.

[ Magic is not a power, unless it is inherited. It needs avenues. No wonder the Avengers didn't know what to do with it. He spread his hands. ]

Of course, control will only come with a certain amount of acceptance as well.

Maybe you're right. But I'd need someplace where I couldn't hurt anyone.

[It feels like she's going to explode, sometimes. Like it gnaws at her from the inside, and small gestures, playing with light and arcing electricity between her fingers doesn't really do too much. The fire was awful and wrong, but it did make it a little easier to breathe, even if she hates it.]

If I stop holding it down, I look like a freak, and people look at me like-- It's just hard, accepting it. I try.

There is no cure for hurting people. Powers or not, that is the way of the world.

[ He resists the urge to snort. The little spider hardly has any of the markings of a freak, but Loki isn't keen on dismissing her experiences. No doubt SHIELD and the other heroes would make her feel that way. ]

They will never accept it unless you control it. They will never accept it unless they can control you.

[ Too close to the truth. Loki bites back the ash on his tongue. ]

You must try for yourself.

You're right.

[She tries to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but it's hard. Those are truths she's painfully aware of: pain and control. And she understands the idea of accepting it not for other people, but it's still hard. Part of her still hates it.]

It'd be easier to accept if I was better at it. But I'm not sure I even can repress it all the time and I don't know what else to do.

[She shrugs her shoulders a little, there's a flicker of light to her eyes for a moment in frustration.]

Do you think someone can help?

I work with magic, not . . . [ He flippantly gestures to her . . . whatever. ]

But no doubt this location is full to the brim with . . . helpful people. There will be someone uniquely suited to aid the control of powers.

Fair enough. I create energy, I doubt that's quite.. magic.

[There's a shrug of her shoulders, a touch of vague amusement at his flippancy. And she pretends that those words aren't horrifying.]

I'm sure someone exists. I just didn't know where else to look.

[She is not asking on the network. Especially not so soon after setting a building on fire.]

[ Hmm. The main the reason Loki isn't willing to offer his aid is his reticence to be too involved with the Avengers. He has Steve's trust and Loki . . . trusts him back, but he rather not put himself and Steve in a difficult position. They have already been in enough of those.

Still. ]

It is and it is not. At the very least, I may be able to help temper it. The application itself cannot be all that different.

[She tilts her head at that remark, which was admittedly not quite what she was expecting.]

I'd.. appreciate it.

[She'd been expecting more a referral or a suggestion, but she's more than willing to see if Loki can help. If nothing else, she believes that he knows his way around magic.]

Appreciate it when it works.

[ A neat dodge. Loki is never comfortable with appreciation of any kind. It always sounds a little fake, like pandering. After all, what can Loki accomplish? ]

Alright, deal.

[She's still a little surprised herself at the fact that he agreed to help. She's not particularly accustomed to people outside of Sana that had ever been willing. Bucky she trusts enough to have believed he'd help, but she knows this is a bit outside his expertise.

And there's still that fear he might flinch.]

[ They'll hang you for this, a voice in Loki's mind whispers. He knows it. The minute this gets out, Loki's motives become suspect. Open to scrutiny. He's dodged it as well as he can, but he knows that it is a matter of time. Would Steve take his side? Would Loki force Steve to do so?

He brushes it aside. Paranoia and fear. Easy bedfellows to deal with. There wasn't anything the Avengers could do to Loki that he has not suffered already. ]

We will set a time. Gramarye has decent shields, even for your powers.

[She knows this is risky, but she doesn't realize how risky it seems for Loki. She honestly doesn't think that anyone aside from possibly Bucky might be concerned. She usually feigns confidence well.]

Alright. Just let me know what works for you. And that's good to know.

[They'd talked on the network so he can surely get a hold of her at his leisure. And there is a sort of comfort in that reassurance that this place can handle it.]

[ Loki raises a delicate eyebrow at that. ]

I have plenty of time. You, however, do not.

[There's a slight inhale and she shrugs her shoulders, her voice a little quiet.]

You're right, I don't.

[She'd been trying to make it less obvious, but he's clearly already put the pieces together.]

Edited 2017-09-27 11:07 (UTC)

[ Loki is far too perceptive for his own good. It's both helpful and equally damaging to his own psyche. A simple white lie only digs itself deeper. ]

Decide on a time and let me know. But do no tarry.

[She's not entirely truthful, and with people she thinks she can get away with it, sometimes she recreates herself as someone else. But all in all it's less appealing than she thinks it ought to be.]

Give me an hour. If that works for you?

[He's already guessed at what's hanging over her head here, no use in pretending she's not desperate. But she does want time for a cup of tea and maybe to hit something a few times. Settle her nerves, since her control gets worse the more on edge she is.]

[ He nods quietly. ]

Very well.

Later, then.

[She nods, leaves him. Not quite sure what else to say.

But she returns, as she said she would, almost down to the minute. She left her bag at the loft, and doesn't bother with the over-sized coat she usually wears.

She's still maybe overthinking things, but she does come back (as if she has somewhere else to go), and despite that near-invisible tension in how she always holds herself, is maybe a little less raw edges than she had been at first. Trusting him is reckless, but she's done worse.]

Loki.

Spider.

[ Loki wears his armor. Which is probably unsettling to most, but his reasoning is simple. Training must be dealt in a serious manner. You cannot undermine a person when they require to learn. It serves no purpose. While he has nothing to fear from her, it is a consideration that, at least, he treats her powers as a potential threat. A real thing rather than shadows. He adjusts the gauntlets on his arms absently. ]

Are you prepared?

[It's strange, perhaps, but there is something reassuring about being taken seriously. Tony seemed curious, but like he didn't quite get the scope of what she'd been talking about.]

Yes.

[She nods, her blue eyes even. Ava tends to commit herself once she's decided on something, sometimes to the point of stubbornness. Hopefully it doesn't get her in trouble.]

[ With a hum, Loki twists the space around them. The walls go bare. Every inch seems immutable, unreal. Loki designs it specifically to tests the senses. The instincts that tend to rise up in an unfamiliar blank zone. Now, he wonders as the magic seeps into his veins, battle-ready, what will you do? ]

[Ava doesn't quite know what to expect, but she doesn't expect the way the space around them twists, making things seem unfamiliar and not-quite real. Her eyes glow ice blue and there's a whisper of blue energy that curls along her fingertips. She watches him, sharp and careful.

The energy is a little less precise, because using her powers while limiting it is always difficult, but in small gestures most people miss it. She doesn't lash out, more trying to get a sense for the space, not quite sure what angle he's taking here. She'd never really had anyone else try to teach her before; aside from telling her to push it all down, at least.]

Is that an illusion?

It is.

[ Loki moves smoothly. A knife appears which he twirls absently in his fingers. ]

Ultimately, it matters not what the power is. It matters how you handle it. Unfamiliar situations, fears, instincts. Those are the aspects that need to be tested, not the powers themselves. They are a tool. You are the handle.

[She nods, a slight tilt of her head. Even knowing that doesn't help, the space still seems unfamiliar and strange. But she finds that more curious than scary, once she has a touch of a grasp on what happened.

She cups her hands together briefly, shapes a small blade out of the blue energy that curls along her fingers. Parlor tricks, admittedly.]

That's the hard part. If I'm under attack or anything like that, they spike, almost? Makes it harder to keep everything down. Especially if I'm actually trying to use them.

Perhaps you should not keep it down. Perhaps you merely need to let it breathe.

[ Casually, he flings his knife at her point blank. ]

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