riverviewlogs

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who: Ciel & YOU
what: Amnesia event (Ciel has lost almost four years of memories)
when: 12th to the 19th
where: Shared housing, around the city
warnings: Possible mentions of abuse and murder (spoilers for Kuroshitsuji chapter 129+)

[For Undertaker]

Ciel was sleeping late, window open to let in air until it started cooling down for the year. And when he woke, it was...

with panic. He was in a strange bed rather than sleeping in a cold cage curled up in a ball like the other children, his clothes weren't filthy, his back didn't ache, and his eye- he couldn't see out of one eye. That's where most of his fear and panic came from, the rest was from the absence of his brother and the fact that he was somewhere strange.

He didn't bother looking around, instead climbing out of the bed as quickly as he could, throwing open the door of the apartment and running, calling out his brothers name and hoping for an answer.

[Shopping/wandering]

By now, Undertaker had told him the name he was to go by in Riverview, to keep his eye covered, and that he was Earl Phantomhive, not that is helped him at all. He hadn't exactly been groomed to be an earl and that only really did him favors in England.

Exploring should be alright, or he thought it should. He kept his phone with him- a weird phone and it looked absolutely nothing like the phones he'd ever seen. It was slim, almost like it was just a pane of glass, and he had no idea how it really worked. He needed it though. Apparently.

He did visit a couple shops for sweets, that hadn't changed, and a cafe. Those that knew him would probably notice there's a distinctively different air about him.

[River]

Ciel didn't have any swimwear but that didn't stop him from making his way to the beach. And it was okay for him, he wasn't the strongest swimmer. Instead, he was happy to just sit close to the water, slipping his bare feet into the river.

Not for long though. His health wasn't the best and soaking any part of him in cold water would probably invite illness and an asthma fit again.

When he did stop though, he found a quiet spot to skip rocks.

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He wiped at his eyes again, miserable, but he stopped clinging to the man. Instead, when Undertaker held out his hand, the boy slipped his hand into the offered one, without question. It didn't seem like a big deal to him, he'd clung to Undertaker or his father often enough.

"I'm not tired." Actually, he kind of was, that came from panic and running around though, he'd rather find his brother. Especially now that he knew he was safe.

The lack of hesitation was carefully noted, but he made no mention of it. Instead, he curled fingers around the child's and turned to guide him back down a set of stairs, back to the second floor. They needed a place to settle for a while, a place to talk, and the hallway wasn't the best spot for that. "No worries. You don't need to sleep, but I would like to talk to you. You've been calling for your brother, but that's not a good idea here"

"Why not?" It came out a little petulant but he couldn't help himself. He tried to tone it back, following along quietly, tripping a couple times and stepping to far or not far enough on the steps.

Which only made the boy frown, grip tightening on Undertakers hand when he faltered. All the while wondering why he shouldn't call for his brother.

"They didn't take him away when we were sleeping, did they?"

There was a little more of the Earl he remembered. He quirked a grin at it, but it lost much of the feeling behind it when he felt more than saw the boy trip up on the stairs. They weren't moving fast, but he slowed down nonetheless to let Ciel catch his footing. Years of wearing that eyepatch had probably stunted his vision. How ironic. The partially blind leading the partially blind.

The humor felt dull, if anything, in light of the child's next question. Of course he had seen that one coming. The answer? Not as easy. He debated what he should tell, what he should hold back, and decided on a lie until he knew more of what had happened to the boy. "Your brother is just fine, milord. Right now, it's you we should worry about. We're almost there."

One more turn at the bottom of the stairs and there they were, at the door leading to the communal bunk for the second floor. Inside, he led his guest back to where the entertainment area held couches. One one of these, he directed Ciel to sit. "So you really don't recognize this place?"

He still held tight, trying to focus his working eye so he'd trip less and wouldn't slow Undertaker down. It didn't work but he had never quite been the type to just give up.

The reassurance that his brother was alright helped. Ciel was the stronger of the two but they were both still hurt and cold and stuck in the same situation. Or had been. Where was he then? And why weren't they together? The twins had always been inseparable.

"No. Should I?" He questioned, looking between Undertaker and the couch before settling on it, still miserable but his tears had at least stopped falling.

Once Ciel found his seat, he sat himself down beside the boy, angled to face him. Even through the reaper's haze over his eyes, he could still see the unnatural violet of Ciel's one eye shining through and he thought about the missing cloth that the young Earl normally wore over it. Wherever it was now, it wouldn't help them, and he didn't know where the boy's room was, or where he would have kept that.

Given recent events, he doubted it would do much good to ask after it, but he had a bit of cloth that could need to suffice until they could find something better. Maybe Ciel wouldn't care to keep that eye hidden if he really didn't remember anything from the last several years, as it seemed, but it would be a bother to the boy later if he could get his memories back.

Hopefully this was all just temporary. "There's a lot you'll need to know since you're here. For now, let's just start with that you're safe, long as you're in this room. The rest of the city out there? Not sure about it, but it seems alright for now."

As soon as both were seated, Ciel moved to sit as close to Undertaker as the man would allow. He felt safer, closer to Undertaker. He was just as much family as his twin or parents.

He hadn't caught a glimpse of his eyes yet, having run out of his room in search of his brother before absorbing much else. And then finding Undertaker. The strangeness of it though would probably make him uncomfortable so he'd likely not object to keeping it covered.

"I'm safe with you." There was more confidence in that statement than much else. "We're not in London?"

Part of him thought the boy might move closer to him when they sat, but now that it had happened, he hesitated. He didn't move away, wouldn't try to, but it reminded him of a time too long ago now, just a distant memory. "Yes, you are."

It wasn't as if he had much choice in the matter. So far as he knew, he was still the only person in the city the boy was familiar with, at least, even if they hadn't been on the best terms. He didn't know any of Ciel's friends here, if Ciel even had friends here, and didn't expect any of them would open their home to him. For that matter, he wasn't sure if he trusted anyone else enough to keep the child safe. What was left to him then but to accept the situation and make the necessary adjustments?

He wondered how the others he lived with would take to it. They were full up on this floor, but the couches were nice enough. He could take one to rest on while Ciel slept on his bed. "Not for the time. We're in a city called Riverview. It's not like anything you or I know. There's strange technology about, but I can try to explain that all to you later."

He stayed where he was, close enough that he could reach out if he wanted to or needed to. And a part of him wanted to but everything was confusing, even if Undertaker was the only person he had here. He was the only part that made even a little sense, actually, so he reached out to hold his hand again like any child would have.

He almost asked if that was in America but he knew there was no way to get to America that quickly, not while he slept and usually woke up if Ciel nudged him at all. Or sometimes at the creak of the cage door opening to take someone else.

"I want to go home." Back to his room and toys, to Tanaka and his parents- his eyes started to water again and he quickly wiped at them with his free hand.

When Ciel reached for his hand, he did nothing to take it back. The more he saw of the child he once knew, the more he felt himself slipping back into an old role he never thought he would take up again. Not that it mattered to him one way or the other. He still had a job to do here.

He switched hands with the boy and lifted his now free arm to settle about Ciel's shoulders. It was what had been normal for him back in the time Ciel seemed to be stuck in now, so he did it to make things easier. "So do I, but we're a little stuck here. It isn't so bad once you're used to it, just different."

That was more familiar and whether from habit or instinct, Undertaker would almost immediately have Ciel pulling his legs up onto the couch as he curled and leaned against him. Undertaker was warm and made Ciel feel safe, a little closer to home since they couldn't go back, it seemed.

"Mother and father and Ciel aren't here though." He'd managed to cut himself off before when he'd started to tear up but now it slipped out and he couldn't help himself. "Are they... are they really gone?"

He didn't exactly want the answer, a part of him knew it. There had been so much blood.

He let Ciel shift around as he wanted and get comfortable. Whatever reassurance he could take from this situation against the shock of the information he'd been receiving might be small, but it was something. It might not be enough to buoy the child against the news of his family though.

Apparently Ciel remembered more than he thought, but if he remembered the cult... "Not here, not right now. When did you last see them?"

He curled up tighter against him, head leaning into his side and one hand grasping his robes. There was no chance he'd ever forget the last time he'd seen them. The twins had gone to bed after a special dinner and cake. They'd gotten a story, no objections that night to the twins curling up in bed together. And then waking up not long after.

"It was our birthday." He couldn't remember what had woken him up, he just had. A scream, a crash? "I... don't know how long ago that was. There are no windows where we were."

That he'd last seen them on his birthday was enough. So many of the details weren't clear to him, even now, after all this time in his own research, but what he did know told the story just as well. He gave the slender shoulders a light squeeze. "Never you mind that now. You're not there and that's what you need to hold onto. All of that is far from here."

Speaking of, before they went too much further, there were other important matters he needed to bring up. "A few things you should know, milord. People here call you by your brother's name. They won't know you by your real name, so you'll need to answer to that while you're here."

He stayed curled against Undertaker, letting the feeling of safety wrap around him. Even far away, it was much better than where he and his brother had been. And he never worried about lies with Undertaker, he believed his twin was safe as well.

"Okay." He'd get no arguments from the boy then, not like he probably would have if he hadn't forgotten everything.

Using his brothers name though, that wasn't easy to wrap his mind around. Sure, they switch places sometimes but that was very different. And he wasn't sure he'd remember to answer to 'Ciel' all the time.

"Why would I do that?"

Another question he wondered if he should tell the truth or to keep it behind a veil until they understood just what was going on. Ciel settled in closer and Undertaker let him, considering. He'd already told a partial truth earlier and another now would make it no different. If the Earl did get his memories back, or when, it would all sort itself out then, but that was then, and an uncertain then at that.

"It's a game you're playing. Since your twin isn't here in this place with you yet, you wanted to be him for a little while. No one knows who you really are. Best to keep it that way for now. You'll also need to cover that eye of yours. People aren't used to seeing something like that, so you kept a patch over it. Seems you might've lost that, but I have something that might suffice until we find it again."

Ciel nodded. That made sense he supposed, pretending to be his brother until he came, because he had to come sometime. That was what he thought, at least. And they could trade places easily then, not many people noticed the differences.

He raised a hand to his right eye, only seeing the movement from his good one.

"I can't- what happened to it?" Maybe he should have explored before running off but that was something he thought of only now that he was safe.

He watched the movement, seeing it clearly and crisply for once, as close as the boy was, and wondered what Ciel's actual vision with it was like now that the patch was gone. "There was an accident." It was about as close to the truth as he wanted to get for the moment. "It hasn't looked the same since, but you'll be fine. Can you see anything with it?"

"An accident?" He was curious about what could have happened but that was all the questioning her did for now, reaching instead to cover his left eye and everything going dark. Even with his trouble coming down the stairs and tripping, he had hoped that he'd at least see something.

"No. Everything is dark." Ciel's voice went soft and he uncovered his good eye, glancing around as if he might catch a glimpse of his reflection. That would make things harder if he had to trade places with Ciel later. People would notice one twin being part blind.

That was going to be a bit of a bother. He opted not to elaborate unless Ciel pressed the issue, focusing instead on the here and the now of the thing. It was a wonder the boy hadn't crashed into a few walls or something else in his terrified rush through the building earlier.

Then again, without being able to see more of the child under his clothes, it was hard to say if or not he had. Bruises on the face would have been obvious, but so far, so good. "You should be careful walking around for a while until you get used to just that one eye. Might just practice by walking around in this room. Would you like to try it?"

In his mad rush, he had definitely tripped a few times but thankfully the hallways were mostly straight. His arms had collected a couple bruises from catching himself though.

"I guess." Actually, he wasn't completely sure he wanted to but he couldn't stay curled against Undertaker all the time. As much as he wanted to. So he slipped his feet out from under himself and stood up, his balance was at least good still.

It was a relief to see the boy taking up the opportunity. He had expected no less, but even after such a shock as all of this had to be for Ciel, the want to do something that would put him on steadier ground was all a good sign. He stood up after the boy found his footing and stepped a little off to the side to watch him. "There's a good lad. Let's see it then. Nice and slow."

He glanced to Undertaker for a moment, a little unsure of himself before looking around for somewhere to start towards. Once he did choose though, for now just a little table, he headed towards it. Only to reach out to it too soon and stumble a little, grabbing at it with both hands and taking another couple steps to steady himself.

The stumble bothered him but he tried not to let it. Tried was the key word but he did look to Undertaker, not sure where to try going after that. Maybe he'd just head back over to him.

The progress went slow and lacked confidence, but it would improve. He nodded when Ciel turned to him for assurances after his first attempt at walking on his own, noting the work they would need to put into this. The boy was a little worse off than he'd thought. Fright had a way of dealing with people and now it had worn off. Part of him wished it hadn't. It might make this a bit easier.

"That's not bad. Let's give it another go. You'll only get better at this if you're used to it and you're not quite there yet."

"I thought it was closer." He mumbled but nodded, looking around again and choosing somewhere else to head. At least this time he would remember that the table hadn't been as close as he'd thought. And it helped, or seemed to, the boy taking a couple more steps towards his goal this time, almost bumping into it but reaching out rather than grabbing, waiting for his fingers to touch something solid, and then settling his hands on the edge.

"I don't like this." Nothing felt right, being further away than he could tell. What was he supposed to do outside? Anytime he wasn't with Undertaker?

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