riverviewlogs

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who: Ciel & YOU
what: Amnesia event (Ciel has lost almost four years of memories)
when: 12th to the 19th
where: Shared housing, around the city
warnings: Possible mentions of abuse and murder (spoilers for Kuroshitsuji chapter 129+)

[For Undertaker]

Ciel was sleeping late, window open to let in air until it started cooling down for the year. And when he woke, it was...

with panic. He was in a strange bed rather than sleeping in a cold cage curled up in a ball like the other children, his clothes weren't filthy, his back didn't ache, and his eye- he couldn't see out of one eye. That's where most of his fear and panic came from, the rest was from the absence of his brother and the fact that he was somewhere strange.

He didn't bother looking around, instead climbing out of the bed as quickly as he could, throwing open the door of the apartment and running, calling out his brothers name and hoping for an answer.

[Shopping/wandering]

By now, Undertaker had told him the name he was to go by in Riverview, to keep his eye covered, and that he was Earl Phantomhive, not that is helped him at all. He hadn't exactly been groomed to be an earl and that only really did him favors in England.

Exploring should be alright, or he thought it should. He kept his phone with him- a weird phone and it looked absolutely nothing like the phones he'd ever seen. It was slim, almost like it was just a pane of glass, and he had no idea how it really worked. He needed it though. Apparently.

He did visit a couple shops for sweets, that hadn't changed, and a cafe. Those that knew him would probably notice there's a distinctively different air about him.

[River]

Ciel didn't have any swimwear but that didn't stop him from making his way to the beach. And it was okay for him, he wasn't the strongest swimmer. Instead, he was happy to just sit close to the water, slipping his bare feet into the river.

Not for long though. His health wasn't the best and soaking any part of him in cold water would probably invite illness and an asthma fit again.

When he did stop though, he found a quiet spot to skip rocks.

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"An accident?" He was curious about what could have happened but that was all the questioning her did for now, reaching instead to cover his left eye and everything going dark. Even with his trouble coming down the stairs and tripping, he had hoped that he'd at least see something.

"No. Everything is dark." Ciel's voice went soft and he uncovered his good eye, glancing around as if he might catch a glimpse of his reflection. That would make things harder if he had to trade places with Ciel later. People would notice one twin being part blind.

That was going to be a bit of a bother. He opted not to elaborate unless Ciel pressed the issue, focusing instead on the here and the now of the thing. It was a wonder the boy hadn't crashed into a few walls or something else in his terrified rush through the building earlier.

Then again, without being able to see more of the child under his clothes, it was hard to say if or not he had. Bruises on the face would have been obvious, but so far, so good. "You should be careful walking around for a while until you get used to just that one eye. Might just practice by walking around in this room. Would you like to try it?"

In his mad rush, he had definitely tripped a few times but thankfully the hallways were mostly straight. His arms had collected a couple bruises from catching himself though.

"I guess." Actually, he wasn't completely sure he wanted to but he couldn't stay curled against Undertaker all the time. As much as he wanted to. So he slipped his feet out from under himself and stood up, his balance was at least good still.

It was a relief to see the boy taking up the opportunity. He had expected no less, but even after such a shock as all of this had to be for Ciel, the want to do something that would put him on steadier ground was all a good sign. He stood up after the boy found his footing and stepped a little off to the side to watch him. "There's a good lad. Let's see it then. Nice and slow."

He glanced to Undertaker for a moment, a little unsure of himself before looking around for somewhere to start towards. Once he did choose though, for now just a little table, he headed towards it. Only to reach out to it too soon and stumble a little, grabbing at it with both hands and taking another couple steps to steady himself.

The stumble bothered him but he tried not to let it. Tried was the key word but he did look to Undertaker, not sure where to try going after that. Maybe he'd just head back over to him.

The progress went slow and lacked confidence, but it would improve. He nodded when Ciel turned to him for assurances after his first attempt at walking on his own, noting the work they would need to put into this. The boy was a little worse off than he'd thought. Fright had a way of dealing with people and now it had worn off. Part of him wished it hadn't. It might make this a bit easier.

"That's not bad. Let's give it another go. You'll only get better at this if you're used to it and you're not quite there yet."

"I thought it was closer." He mumbled but nodded, looking around again and choosing somewhere else to head. At least this time he would remember that the table hadn't been as close as he'd thought. And it helped, or seemed to, the boy taking a couple more steps towards his goal this time, almost bumping into it but reaching out rather than grabbing, waiting for his fingers to touch something solid, and then settling his hands on the edge.

"I don't like this." Nothing felt right, being further away than he could tell. What was he supposed to do outside? Anytime he wasn't with Undertaker?

Better. Even with just a second attempt out of a blind panic, the young Earl was doing well. Perhaps this wouldn't take quite so long, but he'd need more than just one or two passes across a room with stationary objects before anything was certain.

"It's not as much if or not you like it, milord." He stepped over to a table and moved a few of the chairs one at a time, positioning them in a sort of obstacle course. Still immobile objects, but a little more of a challenge than the boy had been giving himself. "But you've been through worse. This should all be easy by comparison."

Once he was finished, he stood himself at the one end of the chairs he'd set up, and gestured for Ciel to come to him. "Right. Little harder now. Let's see if you can get through these chairs to me. No cheating and going around them."

At the sight of Undertaker making an obstacle course for him, he couldn't help but make a face. And he almost commented that it wasn't fair, just barely stopping himself. Undertaker washelping him after all, and he knows his parents would probably scold him for being rude if they were there.

"I could at least see well before." Was what he did end up saying, looking over the 'course' and feeling more than a little uneasy. He tried though, right hand out just a bit in case he got closer than he thought he would, bumping into the chairs a couple times and tripping a couple more from trying to compensate.

Eventually though, he did reach Undertaker, leaning against him when he did.

When the boy found him again, he lifted hands to catch his elbows and kept fingers loose about the cloth around them. "That was before, and this is now. Not much you or I can do about it except to get you to a point where you can walk around without knocking yourself cold."

Ultimately, he decided to easy off. Ciel could be quite stubborn as he well remembered, but it was his first day with any of this, after all. "I know it's not easy, having to get used to a new way of seeing things." Oh, did he ever. He hadn't always been as terribly nearsighted as he was, but that was part of the price to pay for what he'd done. Those first days - weeks, even - without his glasses had been hard. "But you'll get used to it. It's not as bad as it seems. You've managed already to run through this building and walk just this little bit without hurting yourself too badly. Could be much worse."

He let Undertaker catch hold of him but, before long, he was leaning himself against him, just wanting the comfort of a familiar hold. When he'd gone to sleep, things had at least been familiar if not easier. And his back had stopped hurting, he'd thought it would never go away.

"I tripped a couple times." Came a quiet confession. Undertaker wasn't wrong though, even the quiet Phantomhive boy had a stubborn streak. It played in with the twins switching places from time to time. The more alike they were, sometimes, the better it worked in their favor.

Usually though, he was fairly mild-mannered.

Before the boy leaned into him again, just resting there, he had considered making him walk the course he had created once more. Now, he reconsidered it. Ciel really had had quite the evening and it was surely wearing on the boy. "You tripped a couple times because you're not used to it. It's going to happen, but you got up and you kept at it. There's the important part."

He grinned widely, in spite of the situation. "Not so bad, is it?"

"I..." He couldn't help but get a little tearful, glancing back up. "I want to be strong. Like Ciel always is."

His brother was always worrying after him and taking care of him, he even protected him from the cult whenever he could, as well as a ten year old could. And now Ciel wasn't here, he was alone except for his fathers friend. So he had to try to be more like him.

"I guess it's not that bad."

For a short time, he let the boy's tears fall, let him lean in against him as he would, hands still lightly clasped about his arms. Even if he still looked every bit the Earl he tried to be, Undertaker remembered the child that he had been. He looked up after a moment, in the direction of his bed, though at this distance it appeared to him in a blur of colors.

"Best to make you something to drink now, I suppose. Once that's done, we should cover that eye of yours, get you used to that again." He looked back down to the boy. "Your tastes still run toward light tea?"

Ciel was brave and strong and kind, sociable. All the things he wasn't but wanted to be. Or could be, if he was really acting like him before he'd forgotten everything. If he'd done it before, he could again.

"Tea is good." He said, slowly. Then added: "If it's sweet. And has milk." The eye he didn't comment on, since he only had his partial blindness to think about and hadn't actually seen the cause of that blindness.

Fair enough. It sounded like something he could go for himself for the time being, so he nodded. "Tea it is, then, with the trimmings. You just come with me and sit yourself in a chair and I'll make us some."

One hand out, he would guide the boy over to a seat once he had the young Earl's hand in his and set about getting the makings for their snack. He thought about the cookies in his cabinet and took those down too. Might as well. Children rarely turned down sweets. He missed his teapot back home, but he had been able to find something that worked just as well to heat the water. While that was heating, he moved to the next room over where his bunk and a desk sat that he had been permitted - and how many before him, he didn't know - to use. He kept a roll of first aid materials within one of its drawers out of habit, and from that he took a roll of gauze. "There we are. This'll do for an eyepatch for you until we can find something more suitable."

He didn't object at all, hand slipping into Undertaker's once more and being guided. And then, once seated, he watched Undertaker set to work, quiet and observant. The way he'd always tended to be while his brother seemed in the thick of things always.

"Can I help?" Even if he was much smaller than Undertaker, and he was usually told 'no' at home, it was nice to at least offer. Right?

When he slipped out and came back with the gauze, his eye looked to the man and the bandages for a moment. It seemed a little awkward but who was he to complain?

"Do you get hurt a lot?" Since he had them.

Tea was easy enough to make. He'd only been making it most of his whole life - nothing to shake a stick at if he could freely say so himself. But even still, that the boy offered assistance came as a sort of surprise to him. He wondered at it and quickly decided it was only because he was so used to being at odds with the child, for good reason. "No, no. You're the guest, milord. Guests don't make the tea. It's bad hospitality on my part if they do."

That, at least, was the truth of it. Having run and lived out of a place of public service for the past several decades, he was used to it, after all. It was the one thing in any of this that made sense to him. Keep up the ruse, work in secret. Only this time, he had nothing on which to work in secret. Not yet.

The comments about him getting hurt a lot came as a little less of a surprise. Even covered in robes and hair as he was, some of his scars were still visible. "You must be wondering about those marks on my skin. Those are old news, nothing recent. But general medical supplies, that's something any house needs regardless. Accidents can happen."

He didn't argue the comment about him being a guest. Father had always told them about the same, the host takes care of the guest. Or, in their case, their servants cared for the guests.

So he settled to watch and took in Undertakers comments about his scars. Some were very hard to miss and, even with one eye, he'd spotted them. Of course, he was much smaller than Undertaker, looking up at him granted him a glimpse of some of the ones on his face. It made Ciel just a little sad actually.

"Did they hurt like mine did?" His back didn't ache any more from the brand, it could have easily been forgotten if it hadn't been both physically and mentally scarring.

It wasn't the first time he had fielded questions about the obvious and, to some, worrying marks on his face and neck. The explanations weren't so simple or easy to deliver, but it was one of the answers he had always lied about, even to those closest to him - thus far, at least. There hadn't been a reason to tell them the truth of the matter then and he didn't see any reason to start now.

He took a length of the gauze from the roll and held it to wrap loosely about the boy's head at just such an angle that it should cover his tainted eye. "Hold still for me. Oh, they hurt, they did. Cut the skin and there's pain. Not anymore though." He frowned at the makeshift eyepatch he worked over the boy's head. This was going to slip off easily if he didn't bind it tight enough, but too tight would be unbearable. "This is going to be a right pain to keep on you."

He sat still for Undertaker, letting him wrap the gauze around his eye. It felt a little odd but it also felt familiar. If he was missing memories though, that was undoubtedly where it came from. His body probably still recalled the feeling if his mind couldn't.

"I'll be careful." He said softly, moving only to ensure his hair wasn't too confined by the gauze and partially covered it. It wouldn't help, anyone with eyes would see it but it made him feel a little better, like it wouldn't be stared at. Then he took in Undertakers words, his heart aching a little for the older man enough that he stood and hugged him.

"I'm glad it doesn't hurt anymore."

He had nearly bound off the strip of gauze behind the boy's head when Ciel stood suddenly and embraced him. It caught him a little off guard, but he recovered quickly and settled a hand on the child's shoulder for a gentle pat. The other moved to take up the makeshift eyepatch that had slipped loose with the movement to keep it from falling down to the floor.

"Ah, that's very kind, but don't worry your head over it. More's the concern about you and your trouble keeping this on." Rather than direct the boy to sit again, he took the opportunity with him so close to reposition the gauze strip and bind it off in a loose knot. He slipped a finger between the knot and the mop of dark hair to make sure none had been caught up in it. "There. How does that feel? We want it tight, but not too tight."

He stilled again, letting his arms fall back to his side as Undertaker tied the knot, watching him until he asked how it felt. And then he gave his head a little shake to test the feel of it. It was snug but not unpleasantly so and so long as his hair wasn't caught up in it, he might even forget that he had it on once in awhile.

"It feels okay. A little funny but not a bad kind." It would, hopefully, last him the day at least. And Ciel wasn't properly hurt so he didn't think they'd need to waste a lot by doing this every day. If they didn't find another method.

"Does it look funny?"

The knot was quickly done up and he stepped back to let the boy test his work. Kept to himself was the relief that it didn't slip from the child's head immediately with the shaking motion Ciel gave to test it, but he thought that wouldn't last long. It had nothing to really hold it in place save gravity and a firm hold. If they had his actual eyepatch with the straps, this would work much better, but it would have to do. Neither of them knew what room was Ciel's or where that patch might be now.

"Long as it works is what matters for now. You'll thank me for that later, I guess, but I don't expect it. When you see it for yourself, you'll understand." He thought, then wondered what Ciel would think if he did see that eye. "Would you like to see it?"

In truth, he very much did want to see his eye. He'd never seen anyone who was blind or even partially blind- remaining home for his health much of the time meant his experiences had been very limited. Undertaker had said his eye didn't look right though, not anymore.

"Kind of but you just wrapped it." And he was more considerate than his older self. He didn't want to waste Undertakers efforts so soon.

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