riverviewlogs

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who: Ciel & YOU
what: Amnesia event (Ciel has lost almost four years of memories)
when: 12th to the 19th
where: Shared housing, around the city
warnings: Possible mentions of abuse and murder (spoilers for Kuroshitsuji chapter 129+)

[For Undertaker]

Ciel was sleeping late, window open to let in air until it started cooling down for the year. And when he woke, it was...

with panic. He was in a strange bed rather than sleeping in a cold cage curled up in a ball like the other children, his clothes weren't filthy, his back didn't ache, and his eye- he couldn't see out of one eye. That's where most of his fear and panic came from, the rest was from the absence of his brother and the fact that he was somewhere strange.

He didn't bother looking around, instead climbing out of the bed as quickly as he could, throwing open the door of the apartment and running, calling out his brothers name and hoping for an answer.

[Shopping/wandering]

By now, Undertaker had told him the name he was to go by in Riverview, to keep his eye covered, and that he was Earl Phantomhive, not that is helped him at all. He hadn't exactly been groomed to be an earl and that only really did him favors in England.

Exploring should be alright, or he thought it should. He kept his phone with him- a weird phone and it looked absolutely nothing like the phones he'd ever seen. It was slim, almost like it was just a pane of glass, and he had no idea how it really worked. He needed it though. Apparently.

He did visit a couple shops for sweets, that hadn't changed, and a cafe. Those that knew him would probably notice there's a distinctively different air about him.

[River]

Ciel didn't have any swimwear but that didn't stop him from making his way to the beach. And it was okay for him, he wasn't the strongest swimmer. Instead, he was happy to just sit close to the water, slipping his bare feet into the river.

Not for long though. His health wasn't the best and soaking any part of him in cold water would probably invite illness and an asthma fit again.

When he did stop though, he found a quiet spot to skip rocks.

[wildcard]

[Feel free to hit me up on plurk if you want something particular.]

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Before the boy leaned into him again, just resting there, he had considered making him walk the course he had created once more. Now, he reconsidered it. Ciel really had had quite the evening and it was surely wearing on the boy. "You tripped a couple times because you're not used to it. It's going to happen, but you got up and you kept at it. There's the important part."

He grinned widely, in spite of the situation. "Not so bad, is it?"

"I..." He couldn't help but get a little tearful, glancing back up. "I want to be strong. Like Ciel always is."

His brother was always worrying after him and taking care of him, he even protected him from the cult whenever he could, as well as a ten year old could. And now Ciel wasn't here, he was alone except for his fathers friend. So he had to try to be more like him.

"I guess it's not that bad."

For a short time, he let the boy's tears fall, let him lean in against him as he would, hands still lightly clasped about his arms. Even if he still looked every bit the Earl he tried to be, Undertaker remembered the child that he had been. He looked up after a moment, in the direction of his bed, though at this distance it appeared to him in a blur of colors.

"Best to make you something to drink now, I suppose. Once that's done, we should cover that eye of yours, get you used to that again." He looked back down to the boy. "Your tastes still run toward light tea?"

Ciel was brave and strong and kind, sociable. All the things he wasn't but wanted to be. Or could be, if he was really acting like him before he'd forgotten everything. If he'd done it before, he could again.

"Tea is good." He said, slowly. Then added: "If it's sweet. And has milk." The eye he didn't comment on, since he only had his partial blindness to think about and hadn't actually seen the cause of that blindness.

Fair enough. It sounded like something he could go for himself for the time being, so he nodded. "Tea it is, then, with the trimmings. You just come with me and sit yourself in a chair and I'll make us some."

One hand out, he would guide the boy over to a seat once he had the young Earl's hand in his and set about getting the makings for their snack. He thought about the cookies in his cabinet and took those down too. Might as well. Children rarely turned down sweets. He missed his teapot back home, but he had been able to find something that worked just as well to heat the water. While that was heating, he moved to the next room over where his bunk and a desk sat that he had been permitted - and how many before him, he didn't know - to use. He kept a roll of first aid materials within one of its drawers out of habit, and from that he took a roll of gauze. "There we are. This'll do for an eyepatch for you until we can find something more suitable."

He didn't object at all, hand slipping into Undertaker's once more and being guided. And then, once seated, he watched Undertaker set to work, quiet and observant. The way he'd always tended to be while his brother seemed in the thick of things always.

"Can I help?" Even if he was much smaller than Undertaker, and he was usually told 'no' at home, it was nice to at least offer. Right?

When he slipped out and came back with the gauze, his eye looked to the man and the bandages for a moment. It seemed a little awkward but who was he to complain?

"Do you get hurt a lot?" Since he had them.

Tea was easy enough to make. He'd only been making it most of his whole life - nothing to shake a stick at if he could freely say so himself. But even still, that the boy offered assistance came as a sort of surprise to him. He wondered at it and quickly decided it was only because he was so used to being at odds with the child, for good reason. "No, no. You're the guest, milord. Guests don't make the tea. It's bad hospitality on my part if they do."

That, at least, was the truth of it. Having run and lived out of a place of public service for the past several decades, he was used to it, after all. It was the one thing in any of this that made sense to him. Keep up the ruse, work in secret. Only this time, he had nothing on which to work in secret. Not yet.

The comments about him getting hurt a lot came as a little less of a surprise. Even covered in robes and hair as he was, some of his scars were still visible. "You must be wondering about those marks on my skin. Those are old news, nothing recent. But general medical supplies, that's something any house needs regardless. Accidents can happen."

He didn't argue the comment about him being a guest. Father had always told them about the same, the host takes care of the guest. Or, in their case, their servants cared for the guests.

So he settled to watch and took in Undertakers comments about his scars. Some were very hard to miss and, even with one eye, he'd spotted them. Of course, he was much smaller than Undertaker, looking up at him granted him a glimpse of some of the ones on his face. It made Ciel just a little sad actually.

"Did they hurt like mine did?" His back didn't ache any more from the brand, it could have easily been forgotten if it hadn't been both physically and mentally scarring.

It wasn't the first time he had fielded questions about the obvious and, to some, worrying marks on his face and neck. The explanations weren't so simple or easy to deliver, but it was one of the answers he had always lied about, even to those closest to him - thus far, at least. There hadn't been a reason to tell them the truth of the matter then and he didn't see any reason to start now.

He took a length of the gauze from the roll and held it to wrap loosely about the boy's head at just such an angle that it should cover his tainted eye. "Hold still for me. Oh, they hurt, they did. Cut the skin and there's pain. Not anymore though." He frowned at the makeshift eyepatch he worked over the boy's head. This was going to slip off easily if he didn't bind it tight enough, but too tight would be unbearable. "This is going to be a right pain to keep on you."

He sat still for Undertaker, letting him wrap the gauze around his eye. It felt a little odd but it also felt familiar. If he was missing memories though, that was undoubtedly where it came from. His body probably still recalled the feeling if his mind couldn't.

"I'll be careful." He said softly, moving only to ensure his hair wasn't too confined by the gauze and partially covered it. It wouldn't help, anyone with eyes would see it but it made him feel a little better, like it wouldn't be stared at. Then he took in Undertakers words, his heart aching a little for the older man enough that he stood and hugged him.

"I'm glad it doesn't hurt anymore."

He had nearly bound off the strip of gauze behind the boy's head when Ciel stood suddenly and embraced him. It caught him a little off guard, but he recovered quickly and settled a hand on the child's shoulder for a gentle pat. The other moved to take up the makeshift eyepatch that had slipped loose with the movement to keep it from falling down to the floor.

"Ah, that's very kind, but don't worry your head over it. More's the concern about you and your trouble keeping this on." Rather than direct the boy to sit again, he took the opportunity with him so close to reposition the gauze strip and bind it off in a loose knot. He slipped a finger between the knot and the mop of dark hair to make sure none had been caught up in it. "There. How does that feel? We want it tight, but not too tight."

He stilled again, letting his arms fall back to his side as Undertaker tied the knot, watching him until he asked how it felt. And then he gave his head a little shake to test the feel of it. It was snug but not unpleasantly so and so long as his hair wasn't caught up in it, he might even forget that he had it on once in awhile.

"It feels okay. A little funny but not a bad kind." It would, hopefully, last him the day at least. And Ciel wasn't properly hurt so he didn't think they'd need to waste a lot by doing this every day. If they didn't find another method.

"Does it look funny?"

The knot was quickly done up and he stepped back to let the boy test his work. Kept to himself was the relief that it didn't slip from the child's head immediately with the shaking motion Ciel gave to test it, but he thought that wouldn't last long. It had nothing to really hold it in place save gravity and a firm hold. If they had his actual eyepatch with the straps, this would work much better, but it would have to do. Neither of them knew what room was Ciel's or where that patch might be now.

"Long as it works is what matters for now. You'll thank me for that later, I guess, but I don't expect it. When you see it for yourself, you'll understand." He thought, then wondered what Ciel would think if he did see that eye. "Would you like to see it?"

In truth, he very much did want to see his eye. He'd never seen anyone who was blind or even partially blind- remaining home for his health much of the time meant his experiences had been very limited. Undertaker had said his eye didn't look right though, not anymore.

"Kind of but you just wrapped it." And he was more considerate than his older self. He didn't want to waste Undertakers efforts so soon.

One hand lifted to his chin, fingers curving just beneath his lips in thought, eyeing the gauze strip. He could do better with it but in the end, he shook his head. Better to leave it for now. No one else was around to see or wonder about it. "You don't have to now. Maybe later when you're ready for bed or bath, but it would be good for you to know why. Better to understand these things."

He looked up to Undertaker, watching him until he spoke again. And then nodded, hand moving up to touch his covered eye, tempted to ask about it but deciding that maybe he should ask when he actually saw it. How bad could it be?

"Is it really so bad?" The cult wasn't kind to any of the children, not really, but the twins had been special. Not so special that they slept anywhere nice, but they didn't try to mar their appearance too badly.

It wasn't perfect, but it would work for now. He rolled the free end back around the bundle and moved to place it back in his drawer. Once done with that, he returned to the teapot leaned against the counter near it, waiting for it to whistle. It wouldn't be long now.

"It doesn't look like a normal eye anymore, that much is for sure. I wouldn't call it a scar, but if I'm honest with you I don't know that it'll ever look like your other one again." There wasn't much more to be said about it. "It would be easier if you could see it. Likely will frighten you. Just remember it doesn't hurt." Because that was so reassuring, but he could have mentioned the other half of the reason that eye had been deformed and opted not to.

Ciel settled to watch Undertaker, listening, hand rising to touch his bandaged eye again and wondering. Not a scar but it doesn't look normal anymore- he couldn't even imagine any reason for that. Even in all the books he and his brother had read, nothing gave him an idea that might fit.

"It doesn't hurt." He nodded, slowly. And added: "I trust you. I'll see it later."

And it would probably scare him. That kind of symbol, branded onto him in any manner, it would give him a lot of trouble back home. He'd realize once her saw it that was probably why he'd covered it before and Undertaker helped him cover it now.

The kettle began to whistle and he took a mitt and removed it from the burner on the stove, then set a few tea bags he'd tied together by their strings in the water and settled the lid over the strings' ends to keep them from falling in while he waited for it all to steep. Such an odd way of making tea, with everything pre-proportioned out in bags like this, but it certainly made everything more convenient. Now if only he could find a way to pick and choose his leaves and spices, the taste would improve.

"I knew you would. You've put up with it once before." Of course he would again. It wasn't as if he had much of a choice.

It was a strange method, he could remember how Tanaka made tea back home and this... didn't seem right, but he didn't argue. Undertaker wouldn't give him something that would be awful, at least he was fairly certain of that.

"Did you help me before too?"

He hadn't gathered much in the way of tableware in the few short months he had been in the city, only enough for himself and one set extra in case anything was broken on accident. But he had managed to obtain a set of teacups that suited him well enough. He took two of them down and set one in front of the boy, one for himself. "No. Before it was just you and your servants."

It wasn't a lie, at least.

Ciel wasn't of a mind to really object or complain either way right then, and Undertaker was already looking after him. He didn't want to say anything that might be misinterpreted.

"So everyone else was okay? Tanaka?" He didn't really think about getting new ones. In the back of his mind, he's sure he would have, but Gramps he hoped, would still be there.

Maybe it would have been easier just to continue the white lies. He considered it and wondered what the boy would think if or when he ever found his memories again, then decided it didn't really matter. Memories could be reclaimed, rebuilt, rewritten. The now was more important.

He set tea bags and a small dish of cubed sugar out on the table and lowered himself to one of the empty chairs with the teapot, pouring out a bit of hot water into each cup. "Where they are, they're okay now."

A lords duty, he'd been taught, was to manage and protect the land that he oversaw. And it's people. He was never going to be a lord but he still worried for the people hew knew. Undertakers assurance though, he accepted.

"Okay. I'm glad." He resisted the urge to reach for a sugar cube and pop it in his mouth. Something like that would certainly have gotten him a scolding at home, it probably would here as well. "It was... scary. It would be sad if anyone else got really hurt."

He could see the boy eying that bowl of sugar cubes and, just to settle him for now, he pushed the bowl over toward Ciel's cup. "Guests first. Take what you need when it's ready."

Then he reached for the box of tea bags and, like he had in the cafe that day, explained the doings of tea in this world. He had grown accustomed to it now, but it was still odd to him. Convenient, but odd. "It was a terrible night, milord, but for now it's all just a bad, bad dream."

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