5 times Spider-man helped + 1 time Peter Parker didn't (open)

[madeupnames]

who: Spider-Man!!!!
what: Being friendly and in the neighborhood
when: IDK now, tomorrow, some time, he's always working
where: Around Riverview.
warnings: Look out for purse snatchers, fam. They're out there.

Just a collection of inspired hero-help from the big spider boi truly.

I. It's Part of My Wardrobe

[When you see petty crimes as Spider-Man, you have to handle it — no ifs, ands, or buts. So it goes without saying that when he sees a dude running his ass off holding a purse, he has to consider two things: one, is the guy just into purses, which is 100% cool, and two, if he's not, then is he frantically racing to give a lady in his life her purse back that she had left at his place? Okay, no, he very clearly stole it, he's rifling through it on a park bench and trying to sniff out the money.

Suffice to say, the guy ends up danging from a tree by his butt, and Spider-Man is now wearing a fashionable purse on his shoulder as he swings around the neighborhood. He may even come swinging over to a fellow character (hey, hi, howdy) and hold up the purse in question (this purse is getting famous).]

Hey, excuse me! You know who this belongs to?

["It's totally your color!" Someone yells from the sidewalk as they go, and he gives a thumbs up.]

Thanks!!

II. The Case of the Cat-Callers.

[Oooor maybe you've got some weirdo following you, whistling or being a general nuisance. Spider-Man's got you covered there, too. He's got a sense for these things, y'know, and not just spidey sense. When you're in New York at 2 in the morning, you see plenty of assholes trying to be funny or gross. So he crawls along the side of the nearest building and goes PSSST at you, like it's totally normal for a dude to crawl on the wall and PSSST like he's so incognito (he's not, he knows, but it's formalities).]

Hey! Sorry, Perimeter Guard guy here. Is that guy giving you any trouble? You want me to walk with you or, like, knock his hat off his head? Maybe get his feet stuck to the ground?

[This seems to be the most logical choice in retaliation for harassment.]

III. A Doggy, I Love Doggies

[Spider-Man is also very helpful to the strays! I mean, they usually hiss and scratch him, because he's a weirdo in a onesie spandex suit with bug eyes, but not always! See: him walking a very large and almost cloud-like fuzzy dog — that is apparently as tall as he is — on a leash clearly made out of spider-webbing material.]

Excuse me! D'you know which way the shelter iiisSSSS—!!

[If you're wondering why his voice got all crazy there at the end, it's cuz the dog has seen a cat run by, and is currently whipping the poor spider dude to the left sharply as it gives chase. Don't worry, he plants his sticky feet and stops the excitable creature from dragging him into the distance.]

S-sorry, where was I — the shelter? Down, doggy! Good doggy! No cat murder!

IV. A Spider-Man and a Drunk Angry Alien Lady Walks In a Liquor Store...

[Oh, yes, the drunk and disorderly! Spider-Man knows them very well, too! He's just not used to the drunk, disorderly person to be a refugee alien lady with eight arms (heh, samesies, but also not) who is having some kind of existential crisis outside of what amounts to a liquor store. She's waving around a bottle of something S T R O N G and is throwing literal globs of acid in every which direction. Sorry if he swings in and picks ya' up from out of the way of the gal, he'll try to put you down carefully.]

Hey, c'mon, I'm sure there are better ways to handle this-

[Ow, ow, that's acid, that burns my arm.]

Note to self, avoid the green sizzling stuff—!! Look out, everyone, back up!

[Maybe he should just web her up, maybe get some water into her? Wait for the authorities to get her sober? Seems like a plan! Just watch y'alls steps while he gets her settled down oh god please don't projectile vomit at me— He maybe catches something about a no good dirty cheater? Oh honey, there are better ways to cope—]

V. Wildcard

[Got your own personal crisis? Need directions? Got a tire that needs changing? Maybe you need help with your math homework at a park. I dunno, man, but Spider-Man's good for that stuff, too. Or he'll try his best to be.]

+I. PSA on Naps



[Peter Parker is not Spider-Man, at the moment, so he's not helping anyone out.

But he is splayed under a tree at the park, so exhausted from dealing with the drunk acid-throwing lady that he has passed out unceremoniously with his legs and arms akimbo in the grass; one of the arms appears to be bandaged, and there's a little burn mark on his cheek and other hand, but nothing too concerning. Though he does look like he might as well have been knocked out by an acorn that hit him on the head, from how dead to the world he is.

It's just another day, another weird night, but boy it's hard when you're not remotely used to the terrain... And you're, like, dealing with way tougher crowds than you're used to...

Judging from the bag opened up and half-dumped of books, he was gonna try to do some reading and relax. He'll get up at some point. Just. Give him a few... minutes... hours. Thank god there's no school right now.]

Comments

PETER PARKER TIME

[ofmyth]

[Spidey radar will warn of someone pretty big approaching, but it's okay it's just Thor. Checking on unconscious people lying under trees in the park is a heroic thing to do and here is Thor doing his own good deeds. He's pleasantly surprised to find it's Peter Parker.

He bandage is vaguely concerning, though the boy looks to be in one piece.] Doing battle with the literary world now? I see you've been thoroughly defeated. [It's a joke okay.]

[madeupnames]

[Abwuh—

The spidey radar is still a work in progress with this young one — it's getting there! — so he looks even more surprised that usual when the guy is lingering over him. Then again, he's so tired, maybe danger-detecting wouldn't have worked anyway. The relief on his face when he realizes it's just Thor is palpable. when he sits up.]

Oh — heeey, hey man.

[... And the relief is a bit of embarrassment, too, because Thor caught him passed out in the park. Oops.]

I guess I have, ha. I must've drifted off sometime during organic chemistry.

[AKA the most boring book in his arsenal, gross.]

[ofmyth]

A most worthy opponent. [With a sigh he drops to the ground nearby.] Well met, Peter Parker.

III DOGGY TIME

[yakyuuman]

[ A weirdo in a onesie spandex suit with bug eyes? Do you mean... a tokusatsu hero???

Jyushimatsu is likewise bug-eyed when he spots the guy wrestling control of a dog. A pretty large and fluffy dog that Jyushi totally wants to pet and hug. Let him sink his face into that fur??? But he'll think about the chances of doing that later. The dog looks like it wants to eat a cat and maybe this spandex dude is gonna be next if Jyushimatsu doesn't offer some help. ]

I know where it is! My big brother works there!

[ ACTUALLY HELPFUL FOR ONCE... good job... ]

Hey, what are you exactly? A hero helping dogs all over the city?

[madeupnames]

[Oh, what a relief! Peter would ask Karen where the place is, but she's really not completely 100% on where everything in Riverview is. She's definitely due for an update of some kind... Anyway, the giant fluffy dog is at least not trying to hurt anyone, but boy that whipping fluffy tail could knock a normal-strength man on his ass.]

Oh, hey, J — dude!

[The crazy person from friend dating! Only he's Spider-Man right now, so.

Super covert.]

I'm Spider-Man. Butt-kicking vigilante crime-fighter — and dog rescuer too, absolutely. It's better to be a guy of all trades, right? [A pause.] Care to lead the way, good citizen?

[yakyuuman]

WaaaaaaaaaaaAMAZING! Nice to meet you SUPPAIDAMAN!

[ That's not how it's spelt but you're going to be called that from now on.

Anyway, he's a good citizen! Definitely a good boy and not shitty like his brothers, hmph! So he turns on his heels and starts walking without waiting for the guy & dog to follow. ]

It's gonna take a while to get there by walking! I mean I could throw you both there, but my strength has been a bit lacking since I got here!

[ He marches happily like a soldier, his sleeves flapping back and forth. ]

III Bring forth the dog, with my apologies

[somnioergosum]

[After enough time in Riverview, Ronan had gotten used to the idea of super heroes or whatever they like to call themselves. But putting spider webs on a dog? That was something else. Something that made him stop walking and glare. His raven, Chainsaw, who'd been perched on his tattooed shoulder, hopped farther away from his face. She knew what was coming.]

Dude, what the fuck are you doing to that dog? He's not part of your fashion show. Let him go.

[Clearly the person at fault is the guy with the weird leash and not the freakishly huge, overly excited dog. What else could it be?]

[madeupnames]

[Whoa, a dude with a raven on his shoulder. Spooky and cool. Alas, any cool points the guy tallies is immediately flipped into confusion points, and Spider-Man stares at the guy with those too-large white eyes, looking hopelessly puzzled by the order.]

What? No! Fashion what? This isn't a — fashion — thing!

[He's having to wrangle the ginormous dog, which is a little too close to Clifford status for his liking. Who bred dogs to be as tall as their owners? This was a Mistake Against Nature. But he's a good boy, yes he is, if not terribly hard to control in his eagerness to chase after things.

He keeps his sticky feet pinned, pulling the dog back to sitting with the web design.]

He's a stray! And I didn't have a leash.

............. And you're one to talk, Edgar Allan Poe.

[somnioergosum]

[Ronan had avoided far too many Edgar Allan Poe assignments to not take offense to that statement. He took a step closer toward Peter but his body language didn't change. It wasn't relaxed, it hardly ever was, and he was decided surly but not enough to pick an actual fight.]

So you hear the accent and your first thought is Poe?

[As a Virginian, one was almost required to think of your state as important enough for people to recognize your accent anywhere, even if he was from close enough to the border that he hardly sounded "Virginian" at all. And, as someone who was born weird, he didn't even think that the reference probably had to do with his raven. To be fair, he realized it a moment later and he glanced at his bird and frowned at her.]

Anyway, skip the poems. You're saying you don't have a leash so you're just going to strangle him with--

[He craned his neck as he took a closer look at this leash. Now that was interesting.]

Those aren't actual webs?

iv

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco isn't entirely new to the very strange situation of having a superhero scoop him out of harm's way, but there's just no way to be on the receiving end of that and retain his dignity. He didn't mind so much when it was Barry because Barry is his best friend, and also he's a speedster so it's over before Cisco even realizes he's been moved out of the way like a piece of stray furniture.

But when that octo-armed lady starts sloshing acid everywhere and out of nowhere he's been picked up by some kind of superhero tarzan swinging on - is that web?! - Cisco has a lot more time to be aware of the fact that he's been lifted and carried off. Peter doesn't put him down badly enough to hurt him, but he does stumble a little. He catches his balance, pushing his hair from his face and breathing a shaky: ]

Thanks.

[ This is the moment when any sane civilian would turn tail and run. Cisco has a clear shot to freedom. But he isn't going to leave this guy with no support. That resolve only strengthens when she gets the swinging guy with some of the acid, and Cisco can see it steaming as it burns through the guy's suit, and damn, that's gotta hurt. While the dude is reeling, Cisco shouts at the woman. ]

Hey! Watch it there, can't you see you're hurting people! Listen, you got every right to be messy and drunk and yelling outside a liquor store. Trust me, sister, we've all been there. But you need to fucking watch your splash damage there, okay?!

[madeupnames]

[That earns a bottle thrown at your head, Cisco, but don't worry, Pete's got you covered. He aims a hand and thwip! — a web darts out, seizes the bottle, and yanks it back into his hand. Karen says over the feed, Peter, you're not old enough to be handling alcoholic beverages-]

Hey, hey! The guy's right! I really like this suit and you're getting holes in it! [No, yeah, that is definitely sizzling through his sleeve. And the few drops that had reached his cheek and forehead are kind of burning a little, too. Can't stop now! He points sharply.] One last chance to stop throwing acid around, or you'll be in—

[No, wait, she's throwing more. He shoots a web and sticks one of her eight limbs to the wall, narrowly dodges more acid, and shoots his new friend a look.] Hey, dude! Can you get those people down the sidewalk to stay back until I get her netted up?! This stuff is definitely bad news!

[franciscoramon]

[ He flinches away from the thrown bottle instinctively, arms coming up to protect his face, but there is no impact or sting of acid. Cisco opens his eyes just in time to see Peter yanking the bottle back with more of that stuff - it really does look like overgrown web, which would make sense, given the spider logo at the center of his chest that Cisco catches sight of for the first time since the whole mess started.

It's all happening too fast for him to really see how the mysterious masked guy (is it just Cisco or is his voice... kind of young sounding?) shoots that web that sticks her arm to the wall. ]

You got it.

[ Crowd control isn't exactly Cisco's specialty, but he needs must - he takes off towards the onlookers, waving his arms, trying to look bigger and much more intimidating and authoritative than he actually is ]

Hey, c'mon, little room here, your snapchat stories ain't worth the acid burns - bro, if you do not back up I'm gonna take that phone from you, don't you test me - yeah that's what I thought!

[ A big splash of acid lands on some old fliers and sets them on fire instantly, and that more than anything else seems to encourage the crowd that they should err on the side of caution. Cisco turns to help out, sees the lady pulling back to hurl another bottle at Peter, and he's looking the opposite way...

Maybe he was aware of what was coming, maybe he would've gotten out of the way in time. Cisco is never going to know, because he shoots off a quick vibe blast - a weak one, just strong enough to budge the bottle out of the woman's unsuspecting grip. The blast hits, a blue streak of light, and the bottle drops to the ground, spinning in place. Cisco sure hopes none of those dumbshits got that on camera. He really doesn't feel like going viral, even in the Quarantine where his powers are now more of an open secret. ]

You already call the cops?

nap time

[inebriety]

[Whenever Peter wakes up he'll find his bag and books aren't where he left them. Tony has gathered them up and has them with him on a nearby bench and is flicking through Peter's school work. He didn't really attend high school so he doesn't have the faintest idea what a high schooler is expected to know.

Judging by the raised eyebrows he's not very impressed with what he's reading.]

[madeupnames]

[He finally stirs, like, twenty minutes into Tony's intense study session — that mathematics book you're looking at is totally just to play catch up for next year, you can never be too prepared, dude — and mildly panics when he thinks someone has snuck right under his nose and stole them. But then as he rises to his feet, he sees Tony and immediately blanches in embarrassment (oh lord, he was so knocked out, he should have slept more last night).

He wanders over, trying not to limp, because he definitely didn't burn his ankle in the process of stopping that alcoholic eight-armed acid-thrower lady.]

Hey, it's super rude to take people's stuff.

That's not very heroic.

[inebriety]

[Peter has minor injuries, but nothing he couldn't handle which is why Tony hasn't dragged him to the hospital. His experiences with the Peter Parker of his universe made him more aware of what the teen could handle instead of assuming everything would be fine.

Tony's distracted enough by how basic this textbook is written that he doesn't notice Peter's there until he speaks up. He looks up at the kid, closes the book and offers it back to him. When Peter reads it later he'll find there's corrections scribbled all over it.]

I've always been a rude person. Your mileage may vary with the heroism though.

ii

[breqintopieces]

[The first time that the friendly neighborhood street harasser tries to catch her attention, Breq doesn't pay him any mind, mostly because she doesn't realize he's trying to talk to her at all. So she continued on, which was apparently the wrong thing to do with this particular jerk.

By the third incident and the second block, Breq knows exactly who the guy is trying to get a reaction from. She's not giving it to him. She's walking, hands held loose and ready at her sides in case he tries to step up the harassment, and is reviewing her options. Shooting him isn't an option, but ignoring or confronting both have their own risks. She's readying herself to finally move when that 'psst!' catches her attention.

The mask makes her wary, the clinging to the wall even more so. She doesn't look ready to throw a punch, at least. Probably for the best. Peter won't have to explain an awkward bruise when he returns to the communal housing floor.]

Who's offering?

[madeupnames]

Oh! Oh, ha, right. Silly me. I'm Spider-Man!

[He sounds so very cheery, crawling along with no real effort; he clearly just sort of sticks to the wall.]

I'm used to New York City streets, actually, but since I got whisked off to a whole new place, I figure I'd just keep doing my usual gig, you know? And man, I deal with waaaay too many people like bozo over there.

Again, I can definitely web his feet to the ground if you want.

It dissolves in two hours, so it's, like, perfect contemplation time.

II

[talentedscavenger]

[Rey wasn't paying attention to the men who were trying to get her attention. She had other things to focus on, things that didn't involve getting annoyed at drunken idiots. She kept walking, keeping her head held high and wanting to get back to her apartment by the river as soon as she could.

But there was someone trying to get her attention and she's getting annoyed. Rey turned her head to glare at whoever was trying to speak to her--

And it's a man.

On the side of a building.

In a brightly colored suit.

Okay, stay calm. Stay calm. Don't over react.]

You. What? I'm fine> [Okay, she didn't really catch what he said--she's just trying to figure out. WHO. THE. HELL DRESSES UP LIKE THAT?!]

[madeupnames]

[O-oh, that's Rey — That's super Rey, right there.

Play it cool, Pete.]

Oh, that's good! 'Cus those guys back there are being kind of creepy, so I wanted to make sure they didn't mess with you or anything. But, you know, you could probably kick their butts. I bet.

[He'd pay to see their butts getting kicked by her, but you know.

That's not very heroic of him.]

iii

[glowfeelers]

[ Mantis registers two things as the barking cloud whips past her: the flash of red and blue, and something that looks very soft - ]

Oh! [ It's a dog and the dog is looking at her!! ] Your puppy is so cute! May I pet it?

[ Rocket bit her when she tried to pet him, but perhaps this puppy does not bite! Although, when Mantis looks to the dog's handler, she realizes suddenly that she recognizes that suit. ]

Oh! You are the Spider!

[madeupnames]

[The dog does not bite! In fact it's slobbery, forgive him. He will give all the loving, and definitely not eat you despite how big he is. Peter in the meanwhile just stands pleasantly with his leash.]

Oh, yeah, he's a sweetheart, never hurt a fly on-

[-purpose.

But wait a second.]

A-actually, it's Spider-Man! You've heard of me?

[... You're a bug lady. How have you heard of me.]

1

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Oh hey Spider-Man

[She'd heard the whole thing, more or less from start to finish.]

I didn't see her, but I might be able to find out.

[madeupnames]

[Aw man. He sighs, looking at the purse with uncertainty.]

There could be a wallet in there, but I didn't want to... you know.

A boy snooping through a girl's purse feels gross.

[PETER YOU ARE LITERALLY JUST TRYING TO RETURN A STOLEN PURSE.......]

ii

[childofaxios]

[ There is a boy (she assumes it's a boy) stuck to the wall. There is a boy stuck to the wall and offering her assistance with the man in his early twenties that's been following her for a block and a half. She had just started contemplating ways to lose him, or ways to throw him face-first into the street, but then--Peter. Er, excuse me, Spider-Man.

Chyler stops, her lips twitching in what might be the beginnings of a smile. (It's definitely the beginnings of a smile, because she has been around John Sheppard for entirely too long and it's forcing her to develop a sense of humor.) ]

You can do that? Stick his feet to the ground?

[ Of all the powers a person might have, that is not one she can imagine being useful except in very particular scenarios.

Meanwhile, Mr. Heckler is narrowing the gap between the Spider-Dude, Chyler, and himself. ]

[madeupnames]

[He makes a PFFSSSHT noise, like obviously, he can 100% stick feet to grounds.]

I sure can! And it'll keep 'em there for a good two hours.

[He holds up two fingers, just to spice up the reply.]

It's awful hard to chase innocent people around when you turn into a naggy tree for two hours.