Peter Parker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
madeupnames) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-06-08 05:58 pm
madeupnames) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-06-08 05:58 pm
5 times Spider-man helped + 1 time Peter Parker didn't (open)
who: Spider-Man!!!!
what: Being friendly and in the neighborhood
when: IDK now, tomorrow, some time, he's always working
where: Around Riverview.
warnings: Look out for purse snatchers, fam. They're out there.
Just a collection of inspired hero-help from the big spider boi truly.
I. It's Part of My Wardrobe
[When you see petty crimes as Spider-Man, you have to handle it — no ifs, ands, or buts. So it goes without saying that when he sees a dude running his ass off holding a purse, he has to consider two things: one, is the guy just into purses, which is 100% cool, and two, if he's not, then is he frantically racing to give a lady in his life her purse back that she had left at his place? Okay, no, he very clearly stole it, he's rifling through it on a park bench and trying to sniff out the money.
Suffice to say, the guy ends up danging from a tree by his butt, and Spider-Man is now wearing a fashionable purse on his shoulder as he swings around the neighborhood. He may even come swinging over to a fellow character (hey, hi, howdy) and hold up the purse in question (this purse is getting famous).]
Hey, excuse me! You know who this belongs to?
["It's totally your color!" Someone yells from the sidewalk as they go, and he gives a thumbs up.]
Thanks!!
II. The Case of the Cat-Callers.
[Oooor maybe you've got some weirdo following you, whistling or being a general nuisance. Spider-Man's got you covered there, too. He's got a sense for these things, y'know, and not just spidey sense. When you're in New York at 2 in the morning, you see plenty of assholes trying to be funny or gross. So he crawls along the side of the nearest building and goes PSSST at you, like it's totally normal for a dude to crawl on the wall and PSSST like he's so incognito (he's not, he knows, but it's formalities).]
Hey! Sorry, Perimeter Guard guy here. Is that guy giving you any trouble? You want me to walk with you or, like, knock his hat off his head? Maybe get his feet stuck to the ground?
[This seems to be the most logical choice in retaliation for harassment.]
III. A Doggy, I Love Doggies
[Spider-Man is also very helpful to the strays! I mean, they usually hiss and scratch him, because he's a weirdo in a onesie spandex suit with bug eyes, but not always! See: him walking a very large and almost cloud-like fuzzy dog — that is apparently as tall as he is — on a leash clearly made out of spider-webbing material.]
Excuse me! D'you know which way the shelter iiisSSSS—!!
[If you're wondering why his voice got all crazy there at the end, it's cuz the dog has seen a cat run by, and is currently whipping the poor spider dude to the left sharply as it gives chase. Don't worry, he plants his sticky feet and stops the excitable creature from dragging him into the distance.]
S-sorry, where was I — the shelter? Down, doggy! Good doggy! No cat murder!
IV. A Spider-Man and a Drunk Angry Alien Lady Walks In a Liquor Store...
[Oh, yes, the drunk and disorderly! Spider-Man knows them very well, too! He's just not used to the drunk, disorderly person to be a refugee alien lady with eight arms (heh, samesies, but also not) who is having some kind of existential crisis outside of what amounts to a liquor store. She's waving around a bottle of something S T R O N G and is throwing literal globs of acid in every which direction. Sorry if he swings in and picks ya' up from out of the way of the gal, he'll try to put you down carefully.]
Hey, c'mon, I'm sure there are better ways to handle this-
[Ow, ow, that's acid, that burns my arm.]
Note to self, avoid the green sizzling stuff—!! Look out, everyone, back up!
[Maybe he should just web her up, maybe get some water into her? Wait for the authorities to get her sober? Seems like a plan! Just watch y'alls steps while he gets her settled down oh god please don't projectile vomit at me— He maybe catches something about a no good dirty cheater? Oh honey, there are better ways to cope—]
V. Wildcard
[Got your own personal crisis? Need directions? Got a tire that needs changing? Maybe you need help with your math homework at a park. I dunno, man, but Spider-Man's good for that stuff, too. Or he'll try his best to be.]
+I. PSA on Naps
[Peter Parker is not Spider-Man, at the moment, so he's not helping anyone out.
But he is splayed under a tree at the park, so exhausted from dealing with the drunk acid-throwing lady that he has passed out unceremoniously with his legs and arms akimbo in the grass; one of the arms appears to be bandaged, and there's a little burn mark on his cheek and other hand, but nothing too concerning. Though he does look like he might as well have been knocked out by an acorn that hit him on the head, from how dead to the world he is.
It's just another day, another weird night, but boy it's hard when you're not remotely used to the terrain... And you're, like, dealing with way tougher crowds than you're used to...
Judging from the bag opened up and half-dumped of books, he was gonna try to do some reading and relax. He'll get up at some point. Just. Give him a few... minutes... hours. Thank god there's no school right now.]
what: Being friendly and in the neighborhood
when: IDK now, tomorrow, some time, he's always working
where: Around Riverview.
warnings: Look out for purse snatchers, fam. They're out there.
Just a collection of inspired hero-help from the big spider boi truly.
I. It's Part of My Wardrobe
[When you see petty crimes as Spider-Man, you have to handle it — no ifs, ands, or buts. So it goes without saying that when he sees a dude running his ass off holding a purse, he has to consider two things: one, is the guy just into purses, which is 100% cool, and two, if he's not, then is he frantically racing to give a lady in his life her purse back that she had left at his place? Okay, no, he very clearly stole it, he's rifling through it on a park bench and trying to sniff out the money.
Suffice to say, the guy ends up danging from a tree by his butt, and Spider-Man is now wearing a fashionable purse on his shoulder as he swings around the neighborhood. He may even come swinging over to a fellow character (hey, hi, howdy) and hold up the purse in question (this purse is getting famous).]
Hey, excuse me! You know who this belongs to?
["It's totally your color!" Someone yells from the sidewalk as they go, and he gives a thumbs up.]
Thanks!!
II. The Case of the Cat-Callers.
[Oooor maybe you've got some weirdo following you, whistling or being a general nuisance. Spider-Man's got you covered there, too. He's got a sense for these things, y'know, and not just spidey sense. When you're in New York at 2 in the morning, you see plenty of assholes trying to be funny or gross. So he crawls along the side of the nearest building and goes PSSST at you, like it's totally normal for a dude to crawl on the wall and PSSST like he's so incognito (he's not, he knows, but it's formalities).]
Hey! Sorry, Perimeter Guard guy here. Is that guy giving you any trouble? You want me to walk with you or, like, knock his hat off his head? Maybe get his feet stuck to the ground?
[This seems to be the most logical choice in retaliation for harassment.]
III. A Doggy, I Love Doggies
[Spider-Man is also very helpful to the strays! I mean, they usually hiss and scratch him, because he's a weirdo in a onesie spandex suit with bug eyes, but not always! See: him walking a very large and almost cloud-like fuzzy dog — that is apparently as tall as he is — on a leash clearly made out of spider-webbing material.]
Excuse me! D'you know which way the shelter iiisSSSS—!!
[If you're wondering why his voice got all crazy there at the end, it's cuz the dog has seen a cat run by, and is currently whipping the poor spider dude to the left sharply as it gives chase. Don't worry, he plants his sticky feet and stops the excitable creature from dragging him into the distance.]
S-sorry, where was I — the shelter? Down, doggy! Good doggy! No cat murder!
IV. A Spider-Man and a Drunk Angry Alien Lady Walks In a Liquor Store...
[Oh, yes, the drunk and disorderly! Spider-Man knows them very well, too! He's just not used to the drunk, disorderly person to be a refugee alien lady with eight arms (heh, samesies, but also not) who is having some kind of existential crisis outside of what amounts to a liquor store. She's waving around a bottle of something S T R O N G and is throwing literal globs of acid in every which direction. Sorry if he swings in and picks ya' up from out of the way of the gal, he'll try to put you down carefully.]
Hey, c'mon, I'm sure there are better ways to handle this-
[Ow, ow, that's acid, that burns my arm.]
Note to self, avoid the green sizzling stuff—!! Look out, everyone, back up!
[Maybe he should just web her up, maybe get some water into her? Wait for the authorities to get her sober? Seems like a plan! Just watch y'alls steps while he gets her settled down oh god please don't projectile vomit at me— He maybe catches something about a no good dirty cheater? Oh honey, there are better ways to cope—]
V. Wildcard
[Got your own personal crisis? Need directions? Got a tire that needs changing? Maybe you need help with your math homework at a park. I dunno, man, but Spider-Man's good for that stuff, too. Or he'll try his best to be.]
+I. PSA on Naps
[Peter Parker is not Spider-Man, at the moment, so he's not helping anyone out.
But he is splayed under a tree at the park, so exhausted from dealing with the drunk acid-throwing lady that he has passed out unceremoniously with his legs and arms akimbo in the grass; one of the arms appears to be bandaged, and there's a little burn mark on his cheek and other hand, but nothing too concerning. Though he does look like he might as well have been knocked out by an acorn that hit him on the head, from how dead to the world he is.
It's just another day, another weird night, but boy it's hard when you're not remotely used to the terrain... And you're, like, dealing with way tougher crowds than you're used to...
Judging from the bag opened up and half-dumped of books, he was gonna try to do some reading and relax. He'll get up at some point. Just. Give him a few... minutes... hours. Thank god there's no school right now.]
no subject
But ugh, I might scare the arachnophobics. Just imagine, me swinging down trying save somebody, and they run away while throwing their shoes at me.
no subject
[Seeing him crawling on the wall was enough to make her instinctively react, though she managed to curb it. She can't imagine he hasn't already had a few aggressive reactions sent his way.]