riverviewlogs | [closed] i've been thinking that i should see someone

[Cisco always excuses it with that - that they'd figured it out in the end. That they'd ended up together, that they have what they have now. Eddie can't help but think about what could have happened, if he hadn't been such a wuss after that night in his room, curled up in the bed together. If he hadn't left in the morning, if he hadn't broken Cisco's heart that first time. If, instead, Cisco had come to visit him at work and he'd asked him out instead, if they'd been together since then, how far along would their relationship be now?

But it isn't really something he should be thinking about. Not right now when Cisco is in front of him feeling ill and needing help. When they're talking about their future.

Or at least, they had been.]

Oh no, babe.

[Standing, Eddie reaches for Cisco's hand, helps him get up, leads him away from the table and toward the bathroom, helps him inside.]

Come on, you can...just go into the stall...

[Eddie considers for a moment, before just going in along with Cisco and crouching down to help support his boyfriend, pulling his hair back from his face.]

It's okay babe. I'm here.

[ Cisco really is in no position to argue. Eddie is right, of course; he'd been overestimating his own ability to keep it together for the time it would take to square away the check, math and all, and leave with dignity and inconspicuousness. By the time they're in the bathroom stall, he already feels so nauseous his knees are shaking a little, and he's glad of the help when Eddie pulls back his hair.

It is still hard to take, though, that their date night is ruined to the degree that he throws up all of that lovely food, and Eddie is crouched down and holding his hair out of his face while he retches and makes all manner of very unromantic sounds. Cisco thinks he's a little entitled, at that moment, to feel sorry for himself. Once he has emptied his stomach, and the last awful spasms have passed, his breath hitches in a little sob. ]

I'm really really sorry.

[ He pulls at the toilet paper, using it to wipe his face clean, to blot away tears as he shakily stands back up. He tries to do it too quickly, wanting to show he's okay, and ends up so faint that he has to lean against the wall of the bathroom stall. Whatever this disease is, he thinks then, it came on fast. Really, really fast. Suspiciously so, even. ]

Can you- can you go pay and. I'll get cleaned up and wait for you at that bench out front?

[Honestly, when it comes to Cisco and taking care of him, Eddie couldn't care less about dignity and inconspicuousness. Sure, maybe when it's Eddie himself being looked at, he wants to blend in and not catch any attention, but as far as he's concerned, Cisco is perfect the way he is, and if anyone takes a sideways glance at him, Eddie will tell them off.

But he's not really thinking about how they look, right now. He's more preoccupied with twining his fingers through Cisco's hair while his boyfriend retches and vomits into the toilet. Lifting his other hand, he gently rubs at Cisco's heaving back, his voice comes out in soft little exhalations, making hushed noises of comfort, sounds that Cisco probably doesn't even hear over his own sickness. And then his sobs and apologies.]

Shhh, hey babe, come on. It's okay. There's no need to apologize.

[Eddie keeps rubbing at his back until Cisco's done wiping his face, and he slides his fingers out of Cisco's hair as the other man stands up and then lean against the wall.]

Okay. [A pause, and then-] You sure you'll be okay in here by yourself? You're looking a little unstable.

[Eddie's expression is genuinely concerned, his eyes on Cisco's face.]

I can wait if you need me to.

[ Cisco shakes his head vehemently, regretting it as soon as he does. It makes him dizzy, makes the nausea stir fitfully in his stomach again. But he stills his head, keeps his eyes closed as it passes, and insists: ]

I'll be okay. Just gonna- gonna splash some water on my face.

[ He can tell even before he opens his eyes that Eddie is still hesitating. Sure enough, he's standing there, gorgeous and worried. The bright lights of the bathroom make him look even paler, so the blue of his eyes stands out. Cisco reaches up, touches Eddie's cheek, a quick brush of his fingertips. ]

The sooner we pay, the sooner we can go home. I promise I'm fine. I'll see you out front.

[ And, with careful balance and dignity, he makes his way to the sinks and turns one on, bending down so he can splash some of the water on his face, and not straightening up until he hears Eddie go out the door. It's a relief, to be alone just for a moment. Cisco can set his burning forehead against the cold ceramic of the counter. Maybe not the most hygienic, but it feels nice. He allows himself a small, pitiful noise of frustration before he straightens up again, pushing his hair back and trying to look like he isn't miserable. He washes his mouth with water, straightens his shirt, and makes his way out to wait at the front of the restaurant.

He isn't sitting there long before Eddie joins him, which is probably a good thing. He's got his elbows braced on his knees, and he's resting his head in his hands, and it still feels like the world is tipping and swaying a bit. They had taken a leisurely walk, to get to the restaurant, and it's not all that far to get home, but: ]

I texted a cab. They're on the way.

[ Then, even though he'd thought about waiting to mention this until he was sure, Cisco just kind of blurts out: ]

I got sick too fast.

[Eddie's noticed it too, how quickly Cisco got sick, how fast the symptoms came on and how hard they hit him. He'd been flushed when they left the apartment, and now it's obvious he can barely keep himself upright, that he's fighting the nausea so he doesn't throw up again. He'd gone from wanting to stay and claiming that date night was sacred, to asking Eddie to leave him here alone and go pay so they can go home sooner. It's worrying, and Eddie is extremely loathe to leave him alone even long enough to pay, worried about abandoning him to stumble his way outside.

But when Cisco reaches out, touches his cheek, and promises that he's okay and he'll see him out front, Eddie just swallows hard and nods a bit, eyes on his face.]

I trust you.

[Exhaling softly, he lifts his own hand and strokes Cisco's hair back behind his ear before heading out the door to the main area of the restaurant. Thankfully, paying doesn't take very long, Eddie distractedly taps his device to transfer the money, he absently adds a substantial tip, and then heads outside into the sunshine to where Cisco is sitting outside. Without hesitation, Eddie sits down beside him and hooks an arm around his waist, nodding when Cisco says he's called a cab.]

Good. I think some air conditioning and a quick trip home so I can put you in bed with Shadow and a movie and some ginger ale would be the best idea.

[Lifting his free hand, he gently strokes back Cisco's hair again, working his fingers through it and looking at his face, trying to read his expression.]

Yeah. The whole thing happened in what, 15 minutes? This isn't really right.

[A pause.]

Would you rather go see Beverly, maybe? The hospital or just...you know, at her place?

[ Cisco stays where he is, but he leans his head into Eddie's touch, just a little. Just enough to show he appreciates it, without needing to move or upset the balance that he's found which is keeping the dizziness at bay. ]

I was so excited we were getting outta the house...

[ But when Eddie makes that next suggestion, suddenly their home doesn't sound like a bad option at all. Cisco's reply is swift and vehement: ]

Fuck, no. Not unless it gets really bad.

[ He's had enough of hospitals to last him for a long time, and he's certainly not going to just show up at Beverly's place while she's off duty and impose on her. ]

I just think- maybe it's not natural. But I'm okay. I mean, I feel like shit, but not bad bad. Probably some magic bullshit...

[ What else was new? There was usually some or other magic bullshit going on, and the both of them are used to it by now. Truth be told, all the strangeness of this place has just become a part of the fabric of their lives together. They laughed about it, complained about it, enjoyed it, were glad when it was over, but Cisco would be weirded out if too much time went by and something bizarre didn't happen.

Just then, the cab pulls up, and Cisco lets Eddie help him in, settling down and keeping his eyes closed as another wave of nausea grips him, but he manages to keep it cool. The car starts to move, and Cisco doesn't immediately notice, in the way that is normally so starkly clear, when he slips into the vibe. He already is filled with a strange feeling of movement, from the nausea and the car's movement. One moment he's there and the next he's standing by a table in a library, brightly lit by fluorescents. At the table, bent over a stack of books, is a younger Eddie. He can't be more than twenty or so, but his face is softer, clean-shaven. Still, that little way he scrunches his forehead when he's thinking hard - that hasn't changed at all.

The vibe is a quick one, and Cisco emerges from it with a slightly noisier inhale, blinking rapidly. ]

[Eddie lets Cisco rest for a few more moments, listening to him bemoaning how he'd been so excited to get out of the house. And he can't help it, he laughs softly, shaking his head.]

Well, I guess the Quarantine has other plans...but you know, I think that as long as I'm with you, everywhere is a great place to be. You feel me?

[It's a very Cisco turn of phrase, and Eddie can't help the little grin he gives his boyfriend, cuddling against his side while they sit there, trying to ride out the few moments until the cab pulls up. As they get into it, Eddie helps him, supports him, and when they're curled up in the back, Eddie gathers him up against himself as much as he can without jostling him.

Eddie notices immediately when Cisco slips into the vibe - he goes from holding himself carefully tense, holding back, to limp and motionless, and Eddie carefully supports him, strokes his hair. He knows by now that none of that registers to Cisco while he's in the vibe, that he can't feel the way Eddie touches his hair, can't be comforted, is completely gone, but he does it anyway, just in case. So that when Cisco wakes up, he'll wake up held in his arms, comforted and secure.

When Cisco wakes up, inhaling and blinking abruptly, Eddie gives him a wan smile.]

You okay?

[ Cisco appreciates it, that Eddie's arms are around him as soon as he comes back to himself. It's the same as when he went into the vibe - the transition between the two feels smoother, less of a jolt than it usually is. But it's also unpleasant, because when the vibe ends and he's back in his body, as it were, he notices how much it aches, how hot he feels and dizzy. So it's good, to have something he can cling to, to feel like Eddie is holding him together. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I just. 'm not scared or anything, I don't know why I vibed. Saw you studying. College I think

[ He lets out a tiny shaky sigh, glancing out the window to see how close they are to home. He's not even worrying about the driver, about how any of this might look and sound. ]

You were so cute.

[Eddie's wondering that too, why Cisco might be vibing now, without any fear or other trigger, wonders if it's something to do with whatever illness he has, maybe his fever - because Cisco is absolutely burning against him. He knows that fevers can cause hallucinations, wonders if that's what's making Cisco vibe when he normally wouldn't, and worries quietly about his boyfriend, kissing his forehead.]

Maybe it's the fever making you vibe? I'm...I'm glad you saw something good, anyway. Or at least, what passes for good in that twisted little head of yours.

[Eddie forces a grin despite his worry, leaning down to kiss Cisco's forehead and temple again, eyes falling shut as he nuzzles into his hair, exhaling a warm huff of breath.]

You'r burning up, baby. Maybe we can take a lukewarm bath together when we get home, just to take the edge off?

[Just then, the cab pulls up in front of their building, and Eddie distractedly pays, helps Cisco out of the car, hands gentle and firm.]

Come on. Almost there.

[ Cisco, feeling guilty again for causing all this fuss, does Eddie the favor of not resisting or trying to do it on his own. He thinks he could manage it (probably, maybe) but that Eddie wouldn't like it. He does, however, go for his keys and get the door open on his own - only to stop with his hand on the doorknob, face going blank as he slips into yet another vibe.

This time, it's not the past he sees, but the future. He can tell that because he sees himself and Eddie heading out the door, and he's wearing a shirt that he definitely does not own yet. Eddie's got a canvas bag slung over his shoulder and sunglasses pushed up in his hair. They're both in flip flops, and Cisco's got a beach ball clutched between his hands that he is distractedly inflating. It's not hard to guess where they're going. The Cisco in the vibe asks: ]

We're meeting them there, right?

[ Who the 'them' is, Cisco has no chance to figure out. Before he can look for more details, he slips out of the vibe, back to the present. To the present where his knees are just starting to give out, and his lightheadedness has gone from 'distracting' to 'just do whatever you can to try to stay standing'. Cisco reaches out towards Eddie, is relieved to find him close, and sags against him with considerably more of his body weight than is polite. ]

Sorry.

[ A moment or two later his legs feel less like they're made of matchsticks, and he pushes back, supporting himself again and moving in the house. He crosses his arms over his chest, tucking his hands in close, trying not to touch anything. Shadow runs up to greet them with a trill and a stretch, like usual, but Cisco passes by without the customary pat, making his way up the stairs. ]

Bath's... probably a good idea.

[ It's odd, how Cisco can feel that his responses are delayed, over-simple and sluggish. To know he's impaired, but not really know what to do about it. His head is normally filled with so many thoughts at any given moment. But things have narrowed, now. Simple tasks. Up the stairs. Start the bath, coolish water. Take off shirt. Some instinct in him knows to break things up into these little steps that he can get through. ]

You'll stay with me, right?

Edited 2018-05-18 18:26 (UTC)

[It's true, that Eddie wouldn't like it if Cisco tried to brush him off, to keep him from helping - Eddie doesn't do well with being helpless, likes to be able to support someone. Not needed, but wanted, and Cisco insisting he could do it himself would feel a bit like a brush off. So it's a relief, and Eddie doesn't mind that Cisco opens the door on his own, at least until he falls still as he touches the doorknob, goes blank like that.

Immediately, Eddie steps forward and wraps an arm around his waist, supporting the weight of him against his body until he comes back into himself. Then Cisco is leaning on him, heavily, apologizing, and Eddie is shaking his head a bit.]

There's no reason to apologize, baby. Believe it or not, I like taking care of you.

[His voice is rich and warm with fondness, completely genuine, and he helps Cisco get into the apartment, to the bathroom, hovers around while Cisco gets his shirt off, gets the water started at a decent temperature. And when Cisco's hands start getting fumbly, Eddie takes over, gentle and careful, helping him get his shirt all the way off, undoing his pants and helping him slide them off, undoing his shoes and pulling his socks off, looking up at him lovingly.]

You couldn't make me leave if you tried, Cisco Ramon. I'm gonna get in there with you.

[Ducking his head, he kisses Cisco's bare knee, rests his chin against the overwarm skin, and smiles softly up at him.]

I love you.

[And with that, Eddie turns off the tap to the bath, he strips himself quickly and helps Cisco to his feet, helps him into the bath and gets him settled in it, running his fingers back through Cisco's hair and then climbing in himself. Wincing and hissing breath in through his teeth, he shivers slightly and then pulls Cisco back against himself, arms around his shoulders, scooping up water and letting it spill over Cisco's shoulders.]

You feeling okay, baby?

[ Cisco just shakes his head - slowly, careful of causing himself any extra dizziness - when Eddie says he likes taking care of him. There's fondness and confusion in the gesture, but not disbelief. After all, they're not just words. Eddie has shown it with his actions, incomprehensible as it might be to Cisco. But then, he hadn't minded looking after Eddie while he was recovering from the gunshots and the surgery. Maybe it's not so surprising, after all.

He laughs softly as Eddie kisses his knee, voice amused and full of wonder as he says: ]

I love you, too.

[ The water of the bath feels cool against his skin, and Cisco shivers with his whole body. But it's a wonderful coolness, and he adjusts to it quickly, sitting down with a little help from Eddie and making room as his boyfriend joins him. Hearing Eddie's hiss, Cisco says: ]

Is it too cold? [ It must be unpleasant to Eddie, who doesn't have a fever, no matter how good it feels to have Eddie pouring the water over him in handfuls like that. ] I don't want you making yourself sick, too...

[ But it's a feeble protest, soon silenced as Cisco closes his eyes and leans back against Eddie's chest, grateful for the support - both physically and otherwise. He swallows, lets out a very slow exhale. His heart rate, which has been just a little too high for quite some time, starts to creep back towards something a little more normal. ]

A little better. Not vibing anymore. Didn't like that very much.

[When Cisco asks if it's too cold, Eddie shakes his head, makes a soft 'mm-mm' in his throat, continuing to scoop water over Cisco's shoulders and chest.]

It's fine. Nowhere near cold enough for me to catch a cold. It's just that you usually expect baths to be hot, you know?

[A little laugh, and he leans in to kiss the crown of Cisco's head. His boyfriend's skin is almost painfully hot against him, and he sighs softly, continuing to scoop water over it, trying to bring his temperature down. It's obvious when Cisco settles, relaxes against him and closes his eyes. Gently, Eddie drapes an arm around his shoulders, holding him close, reaches out idly to pick up a face cloth, which he dips in the cool water and squeezes out, starts to pat against Cisco's overwarm face.]

I bet. Probably gets a little disorienting.

[For a while, Eddie is just quiet, continuing to tend to Cisco, cleaning and cooling his face with the cloth, scooping water over him, pulling his hair back from his temples.]

Do you think it's the fever making you vibe so much?

[A soft hum, and then.]

Let me know when you're feeling cooled down, just before you start feeling cold, then we can get you dressed and in bed. I'll make you some tea with honey in it.

Little bit, yeah. But I saw a cute t-shirt I know I'm gonna buy now so that's a silver lining.

[ He's trying hard, the way he almost always does, to find the scraps of humor in the situation. If he lets himself think about all the ways tonight has been ruined - Eddie listening to him puke and hauling him around, rather than having a lovely date night - he knows he'll feel even worse than he already does.

The question about the fever and the vibes draws a little shrug out of Cisco. ]

Maybe. Can't tell if it's correlation or causation. Either something's messing with me and giving me a fever and that's giving me vibes, or somethings messing with me and giving me a fever and also giving me vibes itself. Doesn't really make much difference.

[ Because there is no way all this is normal. Cisco's never heard of a disease that developed this rapidly. And besides, he remembers now that he'd heard some faint rumors. Weird symptoms. People getting sick really fast. He hadn't paid much attention. But now... ]

Feels different than normal. Less of a transition. Normally it's, like, super jarring. But it was just sort of blurred together.

[ A brief pause, and then, softly: ]

I didn't like it.

[ But he isn't going to worry about it. He isn't going to let himself, while Eddie is holding him, pulling his hair back and breathing in that steady, reassuring way. ]

Huh.

[For a moment, that's all Eddie says, his voice a little distracted, a little soft. It's not because he isn't listening, though. He's pondering over what Cisco's telling him, about how the bug is affecting him, giving him a fever, about how it doesn't matter if it's correlation or causation, because it's happening either way. Feels that curl of anxiety about this being a weird illness.

He's heard about it, himself, the thing that's been going around. How puzzling it is because the symptoms are different for nearly everyone, that there's no particular rhyme or reason to who gets it and who doesn't, that it doesn't respond to the usual treatments. That twist of anxiety gets stronger and Eddie licks his lips nervously, eyes sinking shut as he exhales and pulls Cisco closer.]

Blurred together how? Like you just sort of stumble into it? Almost sounds like a hallucination...

[Softly, he exhales and then shifts. Cisco's skin is noticeably cooler to the touch and when he asks Cisco about it and his boyfriend agrees he's cooled down, Eddie starts moving to get them out of the tub and dried off. He tends to Cisco before himself, getting him settled and dried before scrubbing himself dry and putting the towel away and supporting his boyfriend as they head up to the bedroom, naked and a little chilly despite the early summer heat. After getting them both dressed up in comfortable clothing, Eddie crawls into bed with Cisco, plumps up some extra pillows and puts them up behind Cisco's back so he can lean back against them.]

How are you doing? Do you need a bowl and some crackers? I'll go put on tea water too...

No.

[ He says it quicker than he'd meant to, and more urgently. Cisco's not thinking straight, doesn't have the presence of mind unpack just why he rejects that suggestion so vehemently. All he knows is that it's important to set his foot down on this, even as he's climbing out of the tub and letting Eddie help to towel him off. Cisco holds onto the sink to help him stay standing up, knees shaky, and tries not to think about how pathetic that makes him feel. ]

Vibes aren't hallucinations, okay? That's not how it works. I'm not crazy. Just... nevermind, okay?

[ And Cisco subsides, already feeling guilty for his snappishness. It's all so overwhelming, and Cisco feels like he can't get a hold of anything, control anything. Not even his own words and temper, apparently. He stays quiet while Eddie helps to find him pajamas and get him tucked in to bed, but he reaches out to grab Eddie's hand before he can run off to make tea. ]

'm sorry, babe.

[ There's regret and apology written all over his face, far more than is necessary for such a tiny moment of short-temper. Cisco shuts his eyes, feeling the hot pressure of tears and trying to ignore it, knowing they're half from exhaustion and feeling so weak. ]

Tea'd be really great.

[When Cisco reacts so vehemently, Eddie's a little caught off-guard, he looks at Cisco wide-eyed while he goes through a short burst of defensiveness and then a thick wash of guilt for wording it that way, when Cisco says that vibes aren't hallucinations, that he's not crazy, tells him to not mind it.

Eddie ducks his head and shrugs, avoiding eye contact, feeling like he's justifying himself and not really liking that feeling.]

I know vibes aren't hallucinations. That's not what I meant. Hallucinations aren't for crazy people, people get them when they're feverish, I was just wondering if the same...mechanic or whatever in the human body was triggering vibes instead for you. Sorry.

[He's still avoiding eye contact by the time Cisco grabs his hand, and apologizes. Glancing up, Eddie offers him a slight, weak smile, leans in to catch his hand against the back of Cisco's head and kiss his warm forehead.]

It's okay. I'm sorry I worded it badly. I'll grab you that tea.

[And as he heads downstairs, makes tea, grabs a sleeve of crackers and a big mixing bowl in case Cisco gets sick again, he manages to get his feelings under control. By the time he's ready to head back up, he's managing to smile for real.]

Edited 2018-05-19 23:49 (UTC)

[ Cisco has a few moments of quiet to himself to feel properly miserable for bristling at Eddie, when his boyfriend is not only right but only trying to help. It's all too obvious how weak that small smile is, and that he's spooked Eddie, made him feel bad. Why hadn't he just kept his mouth shut? Of course Eddie knows the difference between a vibe and a hallucination. Cisco was the one who had forgotten that sometimes people with fevers could see and hear things.

He twists around on the bed, burying his face and despising himself, until he hears something that makes his blood run cold. A noise, from the closet. A rustling of hangers. Cisco lifts his head, breath caught in his throat. At first he thinks he'd imagined it, but then again, a definite sound of something rustling. He sits up, heart hammering fast. Maybe a squirrel or something like that had gotten in through the roof. He gets off the bed to open up the closet and check it out when he sees something on the ground. Footprints, tracked in mud. (It doesn't occur to him to wonder why there would be mud, since it hadn't rained in more than a week).

Cisco doesn't hesitate, then. His legs are shaky but he gets to the door as quietly as possible, opening it and hurrying down the stairs. He has to be careful not to fall - he could hurt himself, or worse, make some noise that would alert the intruder that Cisco was on to him. When he reaches the lower floor, he sees Eddie in the kitchen, smiling and getting ready to head up with the tea and the rest of it. Cisco waves his hands, a silent gesture to stop. He comes right up to Eddie and grips his wrist, trembling all over with fear as he says in a whisper so soft it's only just audible. ]

Somebody's in our room.

Edited 2018-05-20 00:03 (UTC)

[Eddie's smile hesitates a little when Cisco comes into the room, unexpectedly. Mostly because he's worried about him being up and walking around the way he is, dizzy and shaky and nauseous. He's halfway away from the counter and toward Cisco when Cisco grips his wrist, trembling, and says that there's somebody in their room.

For a moment, Eddie's heart stops and he nods, licks his lips, and gestures toward the counter, whispering back.]

Stay put, down here, behind the counter so you can hide if whoever it is comes running out, okay?

[Eddie watches as Cisco goes further into the kitchen after a short whispered conversation about how they should just leave the apartment, call someone - Eddie reminds Cisco that he is the someone they'd call, then starts moving up the stairs, cautious, obviously in a stance he'd learned at the police academy. His hands and eyes start glowing blue as he gathers energy into his palms, ready to defend himself and Cisco.

But as he goes up the stairs, he doesn't sense anything amiss, as he goes into the bedroom, there's zero sense of anyone being there. Brows furrowing, Eddie looks around, searches the closet, the shower stall in the bathroom, looks under the desk, doesn't see any sign of anyone strange moving around in the room. Releasing the energy but ready to gather it back up the moment he needs to, Eddie makes his way back down, checks on Cisco in the kitchen, and then scours the rest of the house, checking everywhere he can think of someone hiding.

Nothing.

Finally, he heads back into the kitchen and shakes his head.]

I didn't see anyone. No signs of life.

[ The wait, while Eddie is upstairs, is agonizing. Cisco listens hard, whole body tense and shaking, ready to run in a moment. Not to run outside, though. But to run up, to help, to keep his boyfriend safe. He ought to have gone with him to start with, except that he knows he'll only be in the way, that it's a tight space and Eddie would be hampered by his presence...

But there's no crashes or shouts, and after a few heart-pounding moments, Eddie comes back downstairs to tell him there was nothing there. ]

But... [ Cisco's voice cracks, exhaustion and confusion and terror making him hoarse and a little teary. ] There were footprints. Mud. On the floor by the closet.

[ How could Eddie have missed them? It's not like him. He's a detective, after all, and has an annoying ability to pick up on any number of details that Cisco himself misses. And surely, he would have checked the closet before coming down so sure there was no one.

Cisco comes out from behind the counter, wanting to go back upstairs to check for himself. Except that he doesn't make it there. He gets as far as the bottom of the stairs, reaches out to set his hand on the banister, only to reel back with a shout of fear. He staggers away, arm tucked close to his chest as he stares at the unassuming bit of wood. Of course, to Cisco, it looks as if there is a long, deep brown snake coiled around the wood, its tongue flicking out to scent the air. ]

Edited (I CAN WORDS) 2018-05-20 01:02 (UTC)

Really?

[Eddie's brows furrow as he looks at Cisco, shaking his head. It's obvious his boyfriend is convinced, but Eddie hadn't seen a single sign of life up there, and it's almost as unnerving as the idea of a stranger in their house to see his genius level intelligent boyfriend sick and confused about something he'd seen. Teary about it, stressed and upset. As Cisco comes out from behind the counter, Eddie moves beside him, intending to support his weight when Cisco jumps back, yelping in fear.

In a flash, Eddie leaps over to him and catches his arm against the back of Cisco's waist, supporting some of the weight of him, blue eyes flicking immediately to the banister that Cisco had leaped away from.

But there's nothing there.]

What is it? What'd you see?

There's a-

[ But before he can even say it, Cisco has blinked and suddenly the movement is gone. Those shadows and the faint curves of the snakes body standing out from the banister. Even the flicking pink tongue. There had been a snake - he was sure of it - but now, as he stares in choked silence, he has to admit that there's nothing. ]

I thought there was a...

[ Eddie's arm is firm against the small of his back, and Cisco can feel how tense his boyfriend is, how ready to deal with whatever crisis is at hand. But this isn't something that Eddie can fight, or flush out, or protect him from. He can't reach the thing that's wrong right now. Cisco closes his eyes, tears spilling hot and awful down his cheeks. He's too weak to fight them off any longer. Hoarsely, he explains, words coming out jerky and staccato: ]

I saw - a snake. I saw it. But it's not really there.

[ He wipes at his cheeks with the heels of his palms, drawing in a sharp, hiccupy breath. ]

You were right.

[When Cisco says that, that there was a snake, that he thought there was a snake but it's not really there, that he was right, Eddie's body relaxes a little. Closing his eyes, he gently pulls Cisco toward himself as his boyfriend starts choking a little bit on his words, as he starts crying, too-hot tears spilling down his cheeks. It hurts a little, seeing Cisco like this, and he gently wraps his arms around him, stroking his back in a warm, firm circle.]

It's okay baby, it's gonna be okay.

[Cisco's tears are hot, wetting the shoulder of his shirt, and he lifts his hand to stroke through his hair, tugging gently from the roots down to the tips as he sways his body a little in what he hopes is a soothing way. Calming.]

It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna stay with you, nothing is going to hurt you, okay baby? I promise...I promise I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay right beside you.

[Turning his head, he presses a kiss into Cisco's hair, eyes still closed.]

Maybe I was, but it's just a symptom, okay? Of whatever you have. You said...earlier you felt like I was calling you crazy. You're not crazy. You're sick. And I'm not going to leave you alone again, okay?

[Nuzzling gently into Cisco's hair, at the crown of his head, he gives him a gentle squeeze.]

Why don't we go back upstairs, and you can rest with your eyes closed? I'll read to you.

Okay.

[ His voice is muffled, because he keeps his face pressed to Eddie's chest, tucked against him tightly, appreciating the security that his body provides. He feels like all the gravity has been shut off, and Eddie is the rope tethering him to the ground, keeping him from flying away. He can't trust his ears or his eyes or even his head probably, but the feeling of Eddie is real.

Cisco knows Eddie's plan is a good one, and he pulls away, drawing in a breath. He keeps clinging to Eddie's shirt with his hands, but he hesitates before opening his eyes. He doesn't know what he might see, and it's an awful feeling. It might be the fever causing it, might only be temporary, but he feels crazy.

Still, they can't stand here all night. So Cisco opens his eyes. The moment he does, he draws in a sharp, awful gasp, because Eddie's chest is covered in blood, flowing steadily out of a constellation of gunshot wounds, at least a dozen. Cisco knows it isn't real, now, but he closes his eyes, covering his eyes with one hand and declaring, with as much calm and dignity as he can (it's not much) ]

I'm- I'm j-just gonna. Keep my eyes shut. I know m-my way in the dark anyway.

[ To demonstrate this he turns, recklessly grabs for the banister, trusting Eddie, trusting that it is not a snake. His hand touches cool, unmoving wood. Cisco lets out a little shaky breath of relief, and starts up the stairs, feeling his way. He would probably have just sat down where he was and not moved if it weren't for Eddie, but he'd promised nothing was going to hurt Cisco, and Cisco trusts him to keep that promise. ]

[While Cisco buries his face into his chest, pressing into it, tucking himself against him as if for support, Eddie just keeps holding him, stroking his hair, kissing his head, letting him catch his center of balance before he pulls away. And when Cisco does, looks up at him and then his eyes go wide and his breath catches in his throat with a gasp that sounds almost like a sob before squeezing his eyes closed and covering them with a hand, reeling back from him, it almost physically hurts.]

Okay, just...let me give you a hand, okay...?

[His voice is quiet, and he reaches out as Cisco reaches out and grabs at the banister, starts stumbling his way up the steps, still unsteady on his feet with fever.]

Hey, hey, slow down babe, let me help you, please?

[Eddie's quiet as he goes up behind the stairs, gets up a few before he looks so unsteady that Eddie presses in up behind him.]

Cisco, I'm gonna...I'm gonna just pick you up, okay?

[He gives Cisco a moment to respond, to formulate a disagreement if he wants to, but when he gets none, Eddie reaches out, gathers Cisco against himself, and lifts him off the ground into a bridal-style carry, with a little grunt of effort. It only takes a minute or two to get the rest of the way into the bedroom, and Eddie sits down with Cisco still cradled in his arms, sitting in his lap now. For a few moments, he doesn't move, just holds his feverish, half-in-tears boyfriend against himself and buries his face into his warm hair.]

It's gonna be okay baby, I promise. I'm gonna take care of you. Nothing's gonna hurt you while I'm here...

[His voice goes a bit softer, after a moment, and he asks quietly.]

How can I make you feel safer, baby?

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