riverviewlogs | A celebration of family, eh?

Entry tags:

A celebration of family, eh?

who: Ciel Phantomhive, Undertaker, Vincent Phantomhive, those invited to spend the holiday
what: Celebrating Hygge with cocoa by the fire
when: Second day (and on? maybe?)
where: Phantomhive/Undertaker house
warnings: None

He'd spent a late day in the store the day before, having several Bitter Rabbits customized to share at least a passing similarity to their recipients. And when they'd been finished, he carefully wrote out notes for each, boxed them, and set them out to be delivered the next morning. Two of them, he packed up to take home with him, to give to their new owners personally. They were in an unmarked box at least, easily covered up as something for work that he didn't want to leave.

He hoped the invitations would be accepted. At least in their own home, his father and Undertaker seemed at least a bit excited for Hygge. Even if it was something unique to this world.

Ciel also made sure the had plenty of ingredients for cocoa and plenty of marshmallows for it. His sweet tooth demanded as much. Anything else he was sure would be asked for. A shop wasn't too far away that they couldn't get anything needed or wanted. Or so he hoped.

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At first he wanted to be embarrassed about Undertaker's lack of modesty but then he got curious and watched as the skin was revealed. He didn't remember every scar Undertaker had, there were so many he had seen, but that spot did stand out. That one he could remember. And then slowly, he reached one hand back to where his brand sat. His shirt ensured he couldn't feel it but he knew exactly where it was, it's exact shape and the color of the scar.

"If I didn't know you'd have a scar there..." He might not have ever noticed the difference. Then a question came to mind:

"When did you do that?"

Once Ciel had seen proof enough that such things could still be done, he worked the buttons back in place and straightened his shirt back out again, seemingly unconcerned about having just bared his chest for the boy. He knew Ciel recognized the scar well enough. It was the very one that wrapped around under his arm, right below where glass caught him on his shoulder the night the boy's memories awoke him in a fright and caused him to break their lighting fixture in the apartment. It wasn't likely the boy would forget something like that.

But he wondered about the business trip he'd gone on not too long ago. His grin widened, almost sheepish, if he could be. "There was an incident I was called away on for work some time back. You remember it. While I was gone, it wasn't a body I was examining. I had your friend, Doctor Crusher, take care of this for me then." He shrugged. "Forgive the deception, milord, but it was necessary at the time."

Oh no, Ciel wouldn't have forgotten that. Seeing Undertaker hurt was more of a shock than seeing the shape he'd left Sebastian in on the ship. Undertaker had been untouchable then, only to have glass spill his blood. In a morbid way, it could have been hilarious.

"Your work." He said it slow, letting his mind register that. Those days had left the house more quiet than Ciel or Vincent had liked. It had been lonely. And instead of work, he'd been doing this? He probably should have been a little angry, but he was more surprised, the dots not fully connecting yet.

"Why?" Why was it necessary? Why get rid of one of his own scars? He'd never seemed bothered by them before.

"Oh, I don't know." He reached out and took hold of the bunny again, sitting it in front of him on the table. He bounced it idly, watching it and not really paying attention to it at all. "I wanted to see how it works, if it could really do what they say it can. Things here are so different, even I'm a little lost in all of it."

The look he directed to Ciel held meaning, and he hoped the boy caught it. "You don't have to say yes, milord. You don't even have to decide now. I only wanted to give you the option and let you know that it does work."

The dots connected. And all Ciel could do was stare at him for the moment and think about not having to hide brand, not having to be so cautious about changing his clothes or seeing that reminder in the mirror.

It was hard to picture his back without the mark. 'The Mark of the Noble Beast.' he could still hear, ringing in his ears.

"Their brand would be gone." Was all he could say at first, all he could focus on. His hand brushed over that spot again. "Would it hurt?"

Would it hurt like getting it had?

Edited (typo) 2017-12-08 01:01 (UTC)

Rather than getting a giddy sort of response from the reaper, the boy's reaction toned down his own. He hummed softly, tilted his head with his shrug, and let his chin rest against a wrist.

"You won't feel a thing while it's removed, but you'll be a little sore for a day or two following. I was given medication to ease that pain. Made me feel like I hadn't slept in days when I took it, and that's really the worst of it." Then, he did grin and giggled. "Coming out of that anesthesia though, oh, that was fun."

For a moment, he looked unsure. He was used to pain but he still had an aversion. Any child his age would, especially after what he'd endured. Still, he had to admit that it was nice to think of the brand being gone. That the cult would have less of a hold on him than before.

"I..." Let go of one of the things that kept his seething hatred alive, that kept him angry over the attack and his families murders. His father was there at least, and Undertaker was there. And neither had given him any kind of encouragement to continue seeking revenge.

He felt like he was ten years old again, and afraid.

"You'll be with me? And father?"

As he watched the boy's face shift through a hundred different emotions in his blurry vision, he felt he should perhaps offer some manner of support, but he hesitated. He let Ciel sort his thoughts, sitting there in his chair, ready to move as it became necessary.

"If you need us." He smiled and waved the bunny's hand at the Earl again, even if it would do no good and go unnoticed. "If you want to do this. The option is there for you, milord, but it isn't something you need to do right off, or next week, or next month or year even."

He was torn, it was a big change for him. Back home he could look at it and it would settle his mind more firmly on revenge, on hatred. Here, it was harder to hold onto things of that nature with any hope of revenge millions of miles away and no assurance of going back.

He didn't really want to go back. What he wanted was to ensure Elizabeth was safe but beyond that, he was happy in the Quarantine, in this little house with his father and Undertaker. Ciel had friends and a business not unlike he one he had in London. He had the dream he'd wanted as a child, back home and here, but here he could keep it growing. The company wasn't going to lose it's founder out of the blue.

"I... I don't know..." It was tempting, so tempting. And he knew he'd want the two of them close if he did it. His birthday was also less than two weeks away.

"I hate the brand..."

It was no easy decision for Ciel, anyone could see that, with or without eyes in his head. He could ask the boy nothing, could help him with this in no way.

"I know you hate it. I remember well how you flinched when I saw it the first time." That was something he wouldn't soon forget. He knew that brand, knew the way that Ciel resisted even being without his shirt when he thought someone else might see the mark. "But it is your decision, to make or not at your leisure."

And then, upon seeing that frown wasn't budging, he grinned and tilted his head. "Shall I get up and dance?"

He had flinched, he hadn't thought Undertaker would see it and hadn't given it a lot of thought back then. Now he felt safe enough around the man that it didn't bother him nearly as much.

At the offer to start dancing, Ciel finally cracked a little smile, looking up to Undertaker and Bill. The image of the man dancing with the bunny leapt to his mind but he wasn't sure that was what he'd meant. And that image made some laughter bubble up, the teen lifting a hand to cover his mouth.

"You don't have to." It was a nice thought though. And with it, he stood and walked over to Undertaker, worldlessly wrapping his arms around him.

There it was. That was the smile he'd been wanting to draw back out again. It looked so much better than had the frown and that worried face. "There's milord. Still got the smile back on you though, didn't it?"

He set the bunny aside and watched Ciel stand and round the table to him and, when he did, Undertaker raised an arm to accept him and return the embrace. After a moment, he turned his head in against the boy's shirt with a hum. "Listen now. In all seriousness, if you'd rather take Bill's place, I can certainly oblige. Bit easier to dance about with some more my size."

The smile widened just a little at his approach and as he hugged Undertaker. His heart was still pounding at the thought of removing the brand and he wanted to think about it more.

"Would Bill appreciate that?" He managed a tease, letting him go after a moment but standing close still. And he almost mentioned that he was still shorter than Undertaker but that hadn't stopped them when Undertaker was giving him a lesson.

"My cocoa will go to waste at this rate."

"Bill's a big boy." He flopped a hand at the bunny on the table, staring at them with blank green eyes. "I think he can wait one dance. Besides, we've only just met. I hardly know him better than by name. It'd be right possessive of him to be jealous of you for that, wouldn't it?"

Of course it would! Who meets a stranger and then gets angry with them for taking a shine to someone else? He thought he was sure he wouldn't like to know a person like that. But mention of cocoa, now, there was cause for concern. Hair shifted to one side as he leaned a little to look around the boy at the cocoa sitting on the counter, slowly cooling off.

"Mm, perhaps. You might still see it heated again, but it'd be best served fresh. When do you expect your guests?"

The idea of the bunny being jealous almost made him laugh but, instead, Ciel just smiled again. He almost wanted to reach out and poke at his nose but resisted. In that back of his mind, he recognized that he'd changed quite a bit in a few months and not for worse.

"He was made just for you though. I suppose I can understand him being jealous." He could try to imagine it anyway although really being jealous of anything was still something he hadn't really experienced.

At the question, he glanced to his mug, then the clock and the door before looking back to Undertaker.

"A couple hours from now, I would guess. Jason and Doctor Crusher work still today, I'm sure. Jon and Laura, I don't know about."

"Oh, well if it's only that." He grinned and looked over at the bunny, leaning in close as he did, enough so that his face nearly touched the soft, false fur. "I don't suppose you'd mind it, would you? No? You're a good one."

Carrying on the play, he turned back to Ciel, gesturing once again to the rabbit. "There, see? No harm done." He did love the teasing. If nothing else, it gave him something to do when he had no one else around to talk to, but it was fun to see the reactions he could get from his audience.

"A few hours from now, milord?" He tilted his head, leaning into an elbow on the table. "And here you're worried about a little thing like a dance. It'll all be quite cold by then unless we finish it ourselves." That was fine by him. He'd survive an evening with less in his stomach, but something else occurred to him as he considered the friends Ciel had invited. "I don't mind it, so long as we're not looking forward to a big dinner. What I'm thinking though is that I know less than half of those names and I know at least one likes me less than you might like. Should I make myself scarce when they arrive?"

The teasing made Ciel smile at least, and because of that he couldn't complain. He'd always known that Undertaker was peculiar but he'd always been friendly and reliable. And that made it easier for him to wave off his behavior when anyone brought it up.

That offer though, Ciel's smile immediately fell away and he reached a hand out to carefully grasp at the mortician's sleeve. He knew Undertaker could break the hold if he wanted, that Ciel could never keep Undertaker where he didn't want to be- it was why they'd never captured him back home. Maybe a part of him never wanted to.

"No." His voice might have shook a little. "You're family as well, I want you close. I want to celebrate with you as well. I wouldn't be who I am, or even here now, without you."

So much for getting that smile back on the boy. He watched in some bemused exasperation as it slipped right back off Ciel's face like butter from a hot knife and raised his hands in surrender, careful not to loosen the boy's hold on his sleeve as he did.

"I yield, I yield! My presence will be yours to command for the day, milord! You'll have what you wish!" He chuckled again, unconcerned with the hand on his sleeve as long as it didn't fall off. What Ciel had said touched and warmed a place in his chest all over again and he lifted his own hand to scritch long nails under the Earl's forearm, playing at him a little. "If it means that much to you, of course I'll stay. I only hadn't meant to put your guests off."

That Undertaker gave in so easily made him feel a little guilty for his reaction but, even more, he was relieved to know he'd stay. Not for one moment did he want Undertaker to feel unwanted.

"I doubt you could really put them off." Jason he knew, Beverly as well. And of course he knew Vincent and Ciel himself. "Jon, I doubt you could bother him. And Laura, I think more people would be put off by her sometimes."

He'd seen her memories at least. If anyone should be afraid, it was of her.

Slowly he let his hand fall from Undertaker's sleeve and his expression softened, letting himself be soothed.

"I never want you left out of something like this. You're important to me."

He nodded, perhaps a little more than he should have, curling fingers at his chin as Ciel went over the names again. "One, I can think of." Beverly, he was sure. She had tolerated him well enough over time and even agreed to help him remove his scar to see what it would be like, if the teen opted to do it at all. Then again, maybe it was because he just wanted to push a few buttons now and then.

This was a special week, and his own tendencies aside, he wasn't going to ruin it for anyone. It meant worlds to him in concept, but he still considered himself on the fringes of what Ciel obviously had in mind. He set his silliness in the background when the Earl insisted and looked at him in a moment of silence.

"You keep saying that. I do believe you. It's just an odd thing to have around after so long on my own." He lifted a shoulder, as if he'd been talking about Bill again. "You know how it is. Nothing serious or that might interrupt your enjoying this holiday. I'm still getting used to it."

Perhaps but both knew the other was important to Ciel. At least, they did by now, and they both cared about him. So he counted on that being enough that they could be cordial with one another. He didn't want to have to choose between the people he cared about.

"I know but sometimes I feel like you need a reminder." Just like Ciel sometimes did. So he reached out and grasped Undertaker's hand. For just a moment, it crosses his mind about how small he still was compared to Undertaker but he brushed it aside. He was smaller than most everyone.

"You should enjoy it too. For me?"

He curls fingers around the hand that takes his and spares a glance for the two combined, thumb roving lightly over the skin, made softer by a lack of harsh use that no one beneath nobility could escape in one way or another. Even his own hands, given a delicate touch had been needed for his customers and to preserve the length of his nails, had been made rougher over the years, handling coffins and leather reigns, among other labors.

Not that he could properly grate cheese with his palms, not yet. He didn't care for much beyond decency, but it wouldn't get to that state. "Sometimes, I do."

He sighed and stood from his seat, still with Ciel's hand in his own, and guided the boy over to where the mugs of hot cocoa sat cooling and took one to offer to Ciel's free hand. "Best enjoy this while we can. Don't worry about making more. We've enough ingredients here to last us all week if we have to."

He was glad that Undertaker didn't slip his hand out of Ciel's hold, even as he sighed and stood up. At that, he was sure he'd let go but no, instead they go back over to the cocoa and Ciel accepted his mug quietly, watching the man. He still worried a little but he'd try to make sure Undertaker didn't feel unwanted all through the holiday if he had to.

"I'm not too worried about that." Between the both of them, he was sure they had enough to make cocoa through the entire winter. And Ciel was okay with that. He loved chocolate just as much now as he did back in England.

He let his focus shift for a moment though, sipping at the cocoa and smiling. It was good. Then again, Undertaker worked as a barista here, and he'd always made tea for them when he had visited his shop, cocoa wasn't too far a cry, and he was older than anyone might guess.

"You're good at this."

Once Ciel had his own mug, Undertaker took one for himself and slowly sipped at it, enjoying the first drink from the cup. The first was always the best, always the warmest unless he drained the whole mug in one go. He turned and leaned back into the countertop, mug in one hand, Ciel's hand in the other, and licked his lips to clear away a froth of chocolate that had ended up there. Delicious.

"No, and why should you be? It isn't as if I can get away from it here, and neither can you. Not until we have this place paid off anyway." He grinned and giggled. If nothing else, Ciel was stuck with him here as long as they lived in the city. He turned the small hand lightly in his and spread his fingers, working them together for the sake of doing so. How much smaller Ciel's was than his still, even with his fingernails removed.

His mind went back to a conversation he had had with Vincent not even a few days ago and he wondered over it. If nothing, this was a perfect time to bring it up, and he still wasn't quite sure how. "Why thank you, milord. You're not bad yourself."

Ciel just sipped at his cocoa instead, enjoying the taste and the warmth. Although, he would agree that the first sip was always the best. He wondered what else they could do with the cocoa. Maybe add chocolate chips? That would probably only really appeal to him though. And others who had a similar sweet tooth.

"I mean... you could. I wouldn't ever try to keep you here. I like having you close though." Which still sounded strange, even for him. Actually wanting someone close, celebrating holidays strange and familiar. He had definitely changed.

The fingers entwined in his made him smile, glancing down at them and then back up at Undertaker. Almost as if to make sure the man had realized what he had done.

"You could run your own cafe, at this rate."

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