riverviewlogs | A celebration of family, eh?

who: Ciel Phantomhive, Undertaker, Vincent Phantomhive, those invited to spend the holiday
what: Celebrating Hygge with cocoa by the fire
when: Second day (and on? maybe?)
where: Phantomhive/Undertaker house
warnings: None

He'd spent a late day in the store the day before, having several Bitter Rabbits customized to share at least a passing similarity to their recipients. And when they'd been finished, he carefully wrote out notes for each, boxed them, and set them out to be delivered the next morning. Two of them, he packed up to take home with him, to give to their new owners personally. They were in an unmarked box at least, easily covered up as something for work that he didn't want to leave.

He hoped the invitations would be accepted. At least in their own home, his father and Undertaker seemed at least a bit excited for Hygge. Even if it was something unique to this world.

Ciel also made sure the had plenty of ingredients for cocoa and plenty of marshmallows for it. His sweet tooth demanded as much. Anything else he was sure would be asked for. A shop wasn't too far away that they couldn't get anything needed or wanted. Or so he hoped.

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Ciel let himself be taken to the couch. And it wasn't missed by them how often they settled there, either to relax or for more serious talks. This was a little of both, almost.

He let himself relax against the cushions and watched Undertaker. It was true, he hadn't lived with him at first, and he had managed on his own (mostly) after his roommate had moved out. Although, he wouldn't say those instant meals and restless nights were him managing well.

"I'll remember." He was strong. He'd endured a lot. Sometimes he didn't want to be so strong though, even if he hated being weak. "We can... at least get rid of the brand..."

Poor boy. This was what happened when he kept himself at a distance from everything, but it wasn't something he could correct back home, not without remembering what happened here. He wondered if he would, if they ever could go back. In the next moment, he'd put it all aside and gave Ciel's hand a little squeeze.

"Is that truly what you want?" Just another terrible mark of the past, something to be fixed and never forgiven. It thrilled him to no end that the Earl was considering removing it, but the decision was Ciel's alone. "I hope this isn't because I had it done myself. Don't feel like you must."

Back home, it wasn't often he thought about actually returning. He thought about home often enough but the idea of going back made him both homesick and terrified. He'd hate to lose all he gained, the people he met, while here, but there were things left undone in England. Hos brother and Lizzie for one.

He let Undertaker's voice draw him back to the present and the hand holding onto his. And then the strayed again, just a little, to the mark on his back. A moment passed and he nodded.

"I... hate it..." It felt like the cultists were mocking him still from where ever they were. "I don't want a reminder of them anymore."

"Brave boy." It wasn't often that he referred to Ciel as anything other than 'milord' but this occasion was something different. He lifted Ciel's hand to his lips and put a light kiss to the back of them. "We wouldn't ever have been able to consider something like that on the living in our time, but I am delighted to hear you want it gone."

After a moment, he let the hand lower back between them where it had been as if nothing had happened and gave it a light swing. "We'll let you pick the time and date and work things out with Doctor Crusher from there."

He noticed, and couldn't help but blink up at Undertaker in surprise. Personally, Ciel was sure this counted as being brave. It had acted as a reminder for him over the years, a reminder of what the cult had done to him and Ciel. In the back of his mind though, even if he didn't want to acknowledge it at the moment, he knew he'd never forget any of it.

Letting him pick when to do it though, it was probably equally reckless and kind. Without thinking, he knew he'd probably back out if given too long to think about it.

"As soon as we can."

No doubt, the boy wanted his scar gone as soon as he could arrange it. He wondered if Ciel would have made the same decision back home, had such technology existed then, without having the mortician around to prompt him for it, in a time and place when they both knew the mark was on the Earl. But here and now it was, and if they ever went home, even if they wouldn't remember the time they'd spent here, he hoped Ciel's skin would remain as clear as they could make it.

It wouldn't change much, not outside of the boy's mind, but that was all that mattered.

"Then we'll speak with her tomorrow and see when she is available to take care of you."

No, probably not. Not with a demon whispering in his ear and constantly feeding the anger, his desire for revenge. There probably wouldn't have even been a consideration back in England, at the idea of removing it. Back home, was it really even home anymore, he would look at it to solidify his feelings on what had happened.

"Don't..." He licked his lips, suddenly feeling dry. "Don't let me back out. What they did to us..."

He had to think how to phrase the next part but it didn't take much thinking at all. All he had to do was avoid details.

"What they did to us, I can't forget. So I don't want the reminder on my skin."

He knew enough of what had happened to know it was bad and there was no better way to put it. The cult had taken a sweet, shy boy and given him fear and hatred enough to bind to a demon from hell. That was all. He turned his head slightly, watching Ciel now, and his grip on those fingers tightened ever so gently.

"Why would you back out of this, milord? This is a mark that reminds you of the worst time of your life. You don't need it. You already have those memories, and they are quite terrible. It isn't as if you'll suddenly forget if you can't see that spot there on your skin."

Ciel hated thinking of what happened but he'd forced himself over the years, it made him angry enough to keep going. It made him want revenge all the more, it had helped. Sebastian had as well. And when that wasn't enough-

"Whenever I doubted my goals... I would look at it and I would be furious, all over again. Like it had just happened. I would pursue revenge just that much harder." He didn't need revenge anymore though, did he? Not here, not if he wasn't going home.

A celebration of family, eh?

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