riverviewlogs | Hold on, hold on...

Entry tags:

Hold on, hold on...

who: Rey and YOU
what: Memory share event
when: Oct 9--Oct 23
where: In her head, in your mind?
warnings: Angst, loneliness, and feels.

One....

NO! Come back!

[The distant sound of an engine roars to life. A small child can see a ship hover above the ground and then take off. She continues to cry, tears streaming down her face being dried by the wind and attracting sand. She's so small, her arm being held back by a creature that's bloated and sweaty looking. He keeps a tight grip on her, saying nothing, letting her cry out into the sky, into the desert heat. She doesn't understand. She doesn't know why she's being left here. There's the faint echo of 'we'll be back for you' that races through her mind, but cannot recall if those words are spoken to her, or something that she's wishing would be said. The young girl, Rey, continues to cry out until her voice is hoarse and the tears have stopped flowing. There's a sense of abandonment, of sadness, and being heartbroken.]

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Two....

Keep going. [It's the only thought that goes through her mind as Rey, older now, a young teenager. Her stomach is growling, demanding she stop for food. There isn't much left, she's calculating in her mind how many portions she has left until they're all gone. She's barely spending any time eating. Her body malnourished, but she keeps going. Her work, their work is about to pay off. Once the ship is brought to Plutt, he'll give them as many portions as he can--they'd have their weight in them! A chance to go to bed with a fully belly and no fear of running out of food. She's excited, not just because of her work, but because she has friends. The other scavengers, Devi, and Strunk, are her friends. They have been working together to get the ship in order...

One more bolt to tighten. One last check of all the systems. It's fine. The ship is repaired and Rey takes in a deep breath, a smile tugging at her lips. Yes. She can do this. She takes control of the ship, guiding it off the sands and towards Niima Outpost. Once they fly in, Plutt will see them. He'll see the ship can be sold for more money and he can give them food.

At least, that's the plan. It doesn't take long for the trio to reach their destination. Strunk and Devi convince Rey to go down to Plutt to barter. She agrees to it, hungry, but determined. Rey is too blinded by new found friendship to see through their deceit. The moment she steps off the ship, the winds pick up and the other two scavengers take off with her ship. Rey can only watch, looking on in horror, embarrassment, and anger. They used her. They didn't want friendship...they didn't want her...

A pawn was what she was. She willingly let herself become one, and now? Now she has to work twice as hard. She'll have to eat less and hope what she finds tomorrow will be enough for even half a portion. All that hard work...for nothing. ]

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Three...

[It's a more recent memory. Rey coming back from a day's work of scavenging, picking apart old ships for anything useful that could be turned in for a meal. She gets off her speeder, taking off her goggles and treks towards an old abandoned AT-AT walker. She crawls into the small port that acts as the entrance. There is a series of marks, tallies along the rusted wall. Dozens, hundreds, even thousands of marks. A way for Rey to keep track of how many days she's been there. The inside of the old vehicle is turned into a small home, a small plant on a shelf and some portion packets set off to the side. Enough food to keep her full for the night, but she doesn't eat it. No, she has to safe it. The winds have picked up, and chances were a storm would come to pass.

There's no one to talk to except a small doll of a Resistance fighter she made when she was younger. She doesn't talk to it often, but it's the only company she has. Her stomach growls, wanting more food, but she forces herself to ignore it. Just a little of food then sleep..maybe she'll have a pleasant dream this time.]

------

Four...

[A vision. The Force calling out to Rey until she touches a lightsaber that brings so many images, of people she has never seen before, of things that haven't come to pass--or at least she believes hasn't happened. It's confusing, disorienting. The scenes only last a handful of moments until they switch. When all is said and done, she stubles back from a creature in a black mask, landing on her rear, and she's back in the basement of a castle.

Her heart is racing. Every nerve is exposed and her feelings all over the place. She's afraid, confused, and wants nothing to do with what she saw. No. It was a mistake to leave Jakku. She's come this far to get BB-8 to the Resistance. Han, Chewie...they can take BB-8 back. They can do it, she...she needs to head back. She needs to wait on Jakku for a family that--No. They're coming for her. One day...one day they would.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well, this is new.

So far, all of Taako's fucked up dream experiences have involved his friends or family, people he's close to, even if they're not BFFs or whatever. But he doesn't know the little girl in the dream, or the woman beside him.]

Shit. [Very eloquent. He shoots Rey an apologetic look; this is worse than intruding on the memories of people he knows.] Sorry about this, I'd go if I could.

[It's...hard to rewatch this scene. A day that would be infamous in Rey's mind, and then to have someone else see it. To have someone bear witness to the pain she endured as a child, it's private and shouldn't be shared unless she wants it.

Maybe this was a work of the Force? Or maybe she conjured this person into existence? They could be a figment of her imagination, it's hard to tell.]

It wasn't your fault.

[It was directed at them, but at the same time, directed to the young girl that was her all those years ago.]

Why are you here?

I dunno, pumpkin, this is just like a thing that's happening now. I was way more into randomly turning up in people's beds.

[If he's ranking the weird shit that happens here, having people in his head (or having to be in other peoples') is definitely one of the worst experiences. Even the things he was responsible for, the mess with the chalice, was better than this.]

I'm Taako, bee-tee-dubs.

[Normally he forgets manners, but it's a distraction here, instead of watching a little girl cry.]

[Rey looks at him, eyes narrowing a little. Pumpkin? Really? Why start with a nickname? To her, it came off a little condescending, but given how painful of a memory it was, she was sensitive....just a little bit.

And she didn't need to know that last little detail.]

I didn't need to know that.

[She regards his name with a slight nod of her head, ignoring the sounds of her crying and Unkar Plutt telling her to be quiet.]

Rey.

[She would rather not pay anymore attention to the memory, trying to will it to fade away. Hopefully he won't say anything about it.]

[He waves away her protest, planning to say something about how he didn't mean it like that; because he didn't, but her name distracts him from explaining himself.]

Rey who knows Cisco or another Rey, cause it's not an uncommon name but this place feels real small sometimes?

[There's no good way to handle this stuff, seeing someone else's pain, but his instinct is to ignore it and follow another thread of conversation, giving Rey as much privacy as he can when he's stuck here.]

[Brown eyes blink rapidly. Had Cisco been talking about her? He didn't look like the type to gossip...but it's unnerving.]

Yes, I know Cisco. Why?

[Regardless of how small or big this place feels like...or was there something else going on? It was hard to tell, but she didn't know how she felt about this. She thought she found someone she could trust outside of Poe, was she proven wrong?]

Haven't had much time to explore to determine how big or small this place is.

He mentioned he was heading out with a Rey once, thought that might be you.

[He can tell she's not super pleased with that information, so he's trying to diffuse it a little. Just a name, no pertinent details, and it had just been in the context of Taako wanting to see if Cisco was free to get a coffee.]

I just mean like, everyone kinda knows everyone? I guess all us new arrivals flock together.

[He's been here for six months, but that's still a relatively short time for him.]

..Oh. [There's a bit of relief in the single word. Her trust may not have been displaced, but it still left her feeling wary. She had trusted others before and considering the beginning of her track record, this moment, trusting others hadn't paid off for her.]

I suppose? I haven't met too many people, and I don't know how many people are actually here.

[Not that she would want to count each and every person. However, as long as the First Order isn't here, or Kylo Ren, that's fine. The moment either of them step foot on this rock then she'll start to worry.]

Pretty sure it's less than a million, but I'm not, you know, a city planner or anything. I did some reading when I showed up but for bored of that hella quickly.

[Unless it's something he really enjoys, Taako has the attention span of a three year old, and studying definitely isn't something he enjoys.]

The whole barrier thing doesn't help, makes the city feel even smaller when there's nowhere else to go.

[By default, Taako is a chatty kinda person, but he's making an effort to do it even more now, to keep both their focus off the memory.]

[Their conversation is distracting, something Rey is grateful for. Even more grateful that he's not asking questions. Not that she was ashamed of her past, but it's a sensitive subject for a reason.]

Pretty sure it's less than that...possibly less than a thousand. [There's a small shrug of her shoulders. There doesn't seem to be a lot of people around, from what she's seen.]

When you've flown in space, everything else seems a bit small in comparison. [Which was true. Going from one planet to the next, it was exhilarating. Now, being grounded...it wasn't that much fun.

But there is a question that's on her mind..]

Are you...actually real? [Because in thinking about it, he could be a figment of her imagination. If he isn't, if he's real, she could try to force him out of her mind, she did that with Kylo Ren. Either way, best to know that way when she wakes up, she won't be freaked out as much.]

You gotta get out more, my man, unless you're just talking about the lot of us who've shown up in the past ten months.

[He would've gone stir crazy by now if the Quarantine was that small, because even on uninhabited worlds at least he knew it would only last twelve months, instead of something indefinite.

The space thing isn't missed, either, but he decides to file it away for a moment and focus on the actual question.]

I'm real, for sure, you can hit me up on phone later if you wanna make sure.

[There's a slight roll of her eyes. No, she doesn't need to get out more. She's doing fine on her own. Mostly. Rey is focused on what she needs to do to survive and trying to figure a way back to her home world.]

I haven't kept track of who has come and gone. Besides, it's doubtful this place could hold too many people. [Life entertainment and all that, but that's a pretty big assumption on her part. Considering she doesn't know how big this hunk of rock really is.]

Maybe...after this is all done.

[The scene finishes playing out with Plutt dragging Rey by her arm to Niima Outpost. Her life as a scavenger begins then.

Maybe after this, she'll need to find Obi-Wan and figure out a way to make this stop.]

Weren't here for Carnivale, huh?

[It's an easy guess to make, considering how many people poured out into the streets during the parade alone, nevermind the street parties and little events that happened during the days of the festival.

But it's not important, really.]

What, uh, what race is the big one? I've never seen 'em before.

[He thinks this is probably safe, it's not discussing the real content of the memory, just the alien.]

Maybe? I know with the last party or whatever, I stayed away from it.

[The ghosts, or spirits...they weren't fun to see. It creeped her out more or less. So she avoided it while she could, along with that feast thing.

As for what Unkar Plutt was..it took her a moment.]

Crolute, think he was the only one around, and not much of the 'friendly' type.

[Not too many people were on Jakku, though some had their moments...]

I feel you on that one, the masquerade was pretty cool but I am super done with ghosts.

[Between that and this memory nonsense it's been rough, though he keeps his tone and demeanor light, as if it wasn't just a minor inconvenience.]

Crotule, huh. We ran into something kinda similar except they had these fucking trunks, they'd stick 'em on your face to say which like, yuck? But they were cool aside from the zero respect for personal space.

Masquerade? [That's not a term she's familiar with.] Was there ever an explanation to why there were ghosts?

[Because that...she wouldn't want to do that again. She wouldn't want to see people who had passed. ]

Were they a pain in the ass as well? Rude? Condescending even? [Because they could be from the same planet, possibly. Either way, she looks back at the creature that was her former boss.] He preferred to keep his personal space to himself. Didn't do anything himself, he had people for that.

It's a ball but-- [Actually she might not know that one either.] It's real fancy party but you wear masks, so people don't know who you are.

[Normally he'd brag about the one he put on, but he gets the impression it won't mean a whole lot to Rey, so he just focuses on her other questions.]

Kinda yes on the ghosts? It's some bullshit about the barrier between life and death being thin around this time, but I think they're full of shit. Ghosts don't work like that. And yes they were pains in the ass, but not condescending, just way too friendly so I'm gonna assume they're a different race.

A ball? [Nope, she wouldn't have a clue about a ball, expect that it's a sphere. Growing up on Jakku, the notion of a party seemed far fetched. There may have been a celebration here and there, but nothing extravagant.] But...what's the point of that? To not know who you're talking to?

[Really, why go through something like that?

As for the ghosts, well, at least she found a kindred spirit about them. They weren't fun to deal with and if Rey never had to deal with them again, good.]

Have you been around ghosts before? It sounds like you know how they should behave--aside from being quiet and invisible, and not here. [Not in this world anyway.]

Just for fun? Like - a little mystery, a little thrill, you can do stuff without worrying about people making judgments or tracing it back to you.

[Honestly, he never really bothered getting into the anonymity himself, because there's not a lot he wouldn't just... do or say with his identity know, but he can understand why it could appeal to other people.]

Oh, for sure, my, uh... [Boyfriend? It's complicated] This dude I know is a ghost, kinda? But he can make himself a physical body, and my sister is undead right now, long story. [He doesn't quite realize that "undead" is a specific term.] There's magic, where I'm from, so this is par for the course.

[There's a slightly confused look on Rey's head as he talks about what a masquerade party is, and it's not her cup of tea. It doesn't make much sense to her, but she wouldn't judge someone else's version of fun--provided no one got hurt.] A party where you don't know who you're talking to and...that's part of the fun? Okay...

[As for the rest of Taako's answer...that makes her blink. So it's all explained away by magic--wait a moment.]

If there's magic involved...can you use it? [And by that she means, can he makes this stop?]

People are kinda weird? You get used to it eventually.

[There was definitely a specific kind of fun that people had with the anonymity with the masquerade, but he's not going to get into that with a stranger. Nevermind one that seems relatively young, though he's terrible with human ages.]

Not here, if I could've gone by now I would, I'm not that much of a dick. [He moves his hand through the air, as if trying to pluck at strings that aren't there.] Whatever this is, it's not like a normal dream.

[There's a light scoff that's mixed with a chuckle. Yes, people were weird, she was very much aware of that.] I don't know if I will, but it's not my business.

[If Taako started to go over the 'fun' that came with masquerades, it would either make Rey blush or cause her to switch topics. She didn't need to hear anything about that. Regardless, her hopes shrunk a little from hearing that even with magic, he couldn't leave her mind.]

Worth a shot. [She shrugged her shoulders. She didn't have much of an understanding of the Force, or control over it to try and push him out. Not unless he tried to kill her, but he didn't seem like the type?]

But you can do magic? Not parlor tricks or anything like that? Magic...it's more of a con from where I'm from.

Taako Taaco, Fearun's greatest transmuation wizard at your service.

[He already introduced himself, sure, but now he adds a little bow and a sweeping gesture with his hand, as if doffing a hat that he isn't actually wearing.]

Magic's very much real, there are a whole lotta different types and ways to use it. Lup's expertise is evocation, which is a fancy way of saying blowing shit up, but I'm a little more subtle.

[That says a lot about Lup, considering Taako's idea of subtle.]

[Transmutation, she'd heard that word before or at least thinks she has. It may have something to do with alchemy? She wasn't sure, but it was interesting to be in the presence of a great wizard. Rey bowed her head, a sign of respect.]

Lup? A friend of yours? [Someone else here that does magic? Rey recalls Alec mentioning someone, Magnus, doing magic as well, but she wouldn't bring up that name. One never knew if one person liked another person or not. Best not to say anything for now.]

Then, if you don't mind me asking, what do you do? Or..could do? [Given that they were in a dream and he couldn't do anything at all.]

[Oh that's cute, he absolutely does not deserve any kind of respect but he's willing to take it.]

Sister, actually, twin if you wanna get real into it, but I'm the cool one.

[Also a fake thing that he just made up, Lup is the cool one.]

I can do a lotta things, the last real big magic I pulled off was turning a half mile of glass into pure sapphire, but that's the sorta thing I keep up my sleeve for emergencies, you know? I can turn into animals? That's cool, and I uh, I can make fireballs, or lightning, and I can teleport. There's spells I have to use, I can't just pull shit outta my ass, but it's pretty varied.

Hold on, hold on...

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