[open] cast an illusion

[franciscoramon]

who: cisco + anyone!
what: memory share event & catch-all
when: october
where: anywhere
warnings: murder, torture, bullying

MEMORIES

Feel free to either have your character text Cisco (or comment on this post but indicate a text message) about having a vision / dream of his past, or to come to where he is to discuss it.

A. MURDER {third person dream OR first person vision}

[watch here

This memory is both intensely traumatic and one that Cisco has relived many many times. Have fun with it if you want, there may be small distortions - sometimes Cisco seems to remember Eobard's demeanor being gleeful, even smiling as he kills him. There may be odd gaps here and there, as well as inconsistencies. Or you can play it totally straight, just as it happened.]

B. VIBING {first person; vision}

[watch here (memory lasts up 'til 2:30)

This memory is likely to come across in jumbled pieces at first, and then more clearly as the week progresses. What's most important is that this memory captures the subjective experience of vibing from Cisco's perspective. So at one moment the memory is of looking down at a microscope slide of sand, feeling intense unease and fear, to hands reaching out and touching the sand. Once that contact is established, there is a swooping feeling, like missing a step going down stairs or plummeting on a roller coaster, and then the world goes static-y, with strange flashes of light, blurred vision, and an eerie blue tint. The warehouse that Cisco sees feels intensely present, though sounds are a bit muffled and occasionally there are jumps and starts. The end of the vision is as jarring as the start, and afterwards there is the confrontation with Stein, and a palpable feeling of panic over being interrupted and witnessed.]

C. PRISONER {first person; vision}

[watch here

This memory is clear and vivid, accompanied by feelings of hunger, exhaustion, frustration. Feel free to supplement after the cutoff at the end of the scene a moment where Cisco begs that he's already made them weapons (the heat, cold, and gold guns) and that's enough, and also Snart threatening to just out and out kill Dante, both of which are confirmed to happen but aren't shown in the clip I linked.]

D. BABY NERD PT 1 {third person; dream}

[ Cisco can't be older than nine or so, and he's adorable. We're talking a criminally cute child. His hair is cut short, which makes his ears stick out a little, and there's a tooth missing his bottom row of teeth. He's small for his age, (looks even smaller because he's wearing what are clearly hand-me-down clothes), all round-cheeked and bright-eyed. He comes bounding up to a bench in what looks like a small neighborhood park. Sitting on the bench is a pretty brunette girl with a high ponytail and big earrings, and a boy that looks a little like Cisco, around five years older. Cisco, bubbly and excited, asks: ]

Hey Val, hey Dante, do you wanna see what I made?

[ Dante, who has a hand very obviously and purposefully perched on Val's knee, glares absolute daggers at his little brother, but before he can say anything she answers with genuine interest: ]

Yeah, totally.

[ Cisco beams and pulls the lid off the shoebox. Inside is rather ugly-looking device, clearly cobbled together with materials from a bunch of different things. But Cisco pulls it out carefully as if it's the most precious thing on earth and holds it up, explaining in a delighted rush, what it is and how he made it. He has apparently cobbled together pieces from a broken cell phone, an old malfunctioning digital camera, and a half-smashed mp3 player, into a frankenstein'd device that can take pictures, make phone calls, and play music, too. Val sits up as he explains, going from indulgent to this kid with his little doodad to genuinely excited. Cisco hands it over to her and she tests it out, taking a photo of the beaming Cisco, clicking a number code onto the pad which makes 'I Could Fall In Love' by Selena play (though only loud enough that she has to hold the thing to her ear like a phone to hear it). Then, she even uses it as a phone, calling her mom, exclaiming that it really works, and hanging up again. ]

Cisco, this is so cool.

[ She jumps to her feet, saying that she's got to go get her best friend from the corner store across the street to bring her to see it, too, and goes rushing off. Cisco just stands there, holding the thing and beaming like he's never been more proud of himself in his entire life. ]

E. BABY NERD PT 2 {third person; dream}

[ (Continued from the last one, for anyone who wants an angst component)

As this scene was happening with Val, Dante was getting more and more visibly annoyed, trying to redirect attention back to himself. As soon as she leaves Dante snatches the device from Cisco, turning it over once or twice, unimpressed. Cisco's face falls, shifting from joy to trepidation, like he knows something bad is going to happen. Dante doesn't disappoint; he tosses the thing in the air and then catches it as it falls. Cisco pleads: ]

Dante, don't!

[ Which, of course, only seems to encourage the older boy. Dante throws it into the air, higher this time, and catches it, but Cisco winces, clearly terrified that he'll drop it. He tries to grab it away from his older brother, but Dante gets to his feet, holding it above his head. ]

Come on, don't be such a fucking girl, I'm not gonna drop it.

[ He tosses it into the air with enough momentum to it goes behind him and he has to spin to catch it. Cisco keeps pleading with him to quit it, trying to wrestle it away from Dante, who only laughs. It's inevitable, what happens eventually. Dante hurls the thing much too high, and it's hard to say, whether he was really trying to catch it or not. Either way, it slips between his hands and crashes onto the asphalt, shattering into about a dozen pieces. Cisco scrambles to pick up all the pieces, but the lens from the camera has shattered and the casing is cracked. ]

Oops.

[ Dante shrugs, sounds absolutely unapologetic. Cisco starts sniffling, fighting back tears as he tries to fit the thing back together. He starts putting the pieces back into the shoebox, wiping tears from his cheeks as they start to fall but saying nothing, not even looking at his brother. Dante, for his part, says scornfully: ]

Seriously, Cisco, it was an accident. You gotta stop being such a sissy all the time. It doesn't look good.

[ Then he walks off in the direction that Val had gone without another word, leaving Cisco to clean up the rest of the mess. ]

OR hit me up on plurk to plot something else!

Comments

[scholiast]

(It is her.

Oh, and she's younger too, she is as she was back on the Starblaster. Lucretia stares at the back of her own head with a dull horror rising in her, making her skin prickle over with gooseflesh. She has no idea what she's about to walk into.)

Yes. (Her voice is false-steady, hands clenching tightly as she stares after herself, walking slowly down the hall. It's strange to think of this version of her as her younger self because in reality, they are only hours apart. Twenty years stolen time exists between them, taken within the blink of an eye. Lucretia assumes this is a memory to be watched, then, not impacted upon or changed in any way because the other version of herself doesn't appear to hear them talking.

She's not sure she would change anything if she were able to, either. Everything that she sacrificed was worth it to avoid paying the price. Sure, there were things that she would refuse to give too (as Cisco is about to find out), but Lucretia hardly needs a do-over. She sighs, trembling and nervous. The thought of simply not following herself down towards the wheel occurs to her, but when she glances over her shoulder she's met with a wall of pressing darkness that seems to be inching its way towards them, swallowing up the brightly lit floor as it progresses, and the thought of standing there in the dark scares her more than reliving the Wonderland memories, for some reason.)

Well, (she says, and exhales sharply as she starts to follow herself at a slow distance,) This is happening, I suppose. I presume Taako has mentioned Wonderland to you before?

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco looks between that younger version of Lucretia (who still, to his eyes, and a slight unpleasant tightness in his throat, looks like the Lucretia he knows and got to kind of be friends with) and the older one. When she starts to follow in the footsteps of her remembered self, Cisco sticks closely by her, not wanting to get separated. He's still hazy on how this whole thing works, and if this is Lucretia's memory, he doesn't want to get lost in it. Not telling what would happen.

And he would have to be completely blind not to notice that Lucretia looks... tense. She seems kind of frightened, which makes sense, all things considered. Cisco's voice is just a touch concerned as he answers: ]

Yeah, a bit. Something about... a fucked up game where you have to trade stuff away, to keep going, like... whatever.

[ He'd been about to say like he did with his looks but it occurred to him mid-sentence that he might not have told Lucretia about that, and no way is Cisco going to blab the secret, if so. ]

I- don't think I can get us out.

[ An admission that probably means a bit less, considering Lucretia doesn't know anything about his powers, yet. ]

[scholiast]

I'm assuming we have to follow the memory through until completion.

(Because why would it be easy for either of them to just nope out of this and leave? It is never like that. Lucretia glances at him momentarily as he catches up to her.)

Okay. Unfortunately, trading away sacrifices is only one facet of it. (A bit of background information then, if they're doing this:) Wonderland was designed as a trap to cause suffering to all who enter it, as the two liches who run this place feed on the unhappiness of others. 'Winning' Wonderland promises to net you your heart's desire, which is how they generated so much foot traffic; though of course, very few people see the end of it. If they do, they never come out the same as they went in.

(It's then that she notices with a guilty jolt that Cam is waiting down the end of the hallway for the three of them.)

I... I came in here with a traveller that I hired, to try and retrieve the Animus Bell from the liches, and put a stop to Wonderland for good.

[franciscoramon]

That's how it was the last time this happened to me.

[ It's a little odd, but on consideration exactly like Lucretia as far as he knows her, that she approaches this uncomfortable situation by giving him an infodump about this place, and how it works, and what it means. Lucretia, collecting facts, and chronicling a story. It makes sense she would respond to stress in that way, and for Cisco's part, it's comforting, knowing a little more. If this is a memory, it shouldn't be able to hurt him... right? ]

And... and this is what happened, when you tried?

[ Cisco knows already that Lucretia must not have succeeded. After all, Taako and Magnus and Merle all went to Wonderland years later. That was where Magnus got turned into a mannequin, where apparently a whole lot of bad stuff had happened. Cisco looks from Cam to Lucretia, sees she expression on her face as she looks at him, but he doesn't know how to interpret it, apart from it being nothing very good. ]

I'm sorry. [ He realizes the statement is ambiguous, and adds: ] I- shouldn't be seeing this. I... feel like I'm spying, just being here.

[scholiast]

(Sometimes information is all she has. It's comforting, to go over everything in her mind, remind herself of what is about to happen next and right on cue, Lydia and Edward blink into existence. They don't need to explain the rules this time. This is the second time that they've encountered the wheel. The first had been a warm up, a slow ease into the way that Wonderland had worked. Lucretia remembers how she had thought little of the sacrifices: she had spun the symbol of the eye, and Edward had worsened her prescription. It gave her disadvantage for the next room, but Cam had taken the other two spins of the wheel to balance that out and everything had seemed fine.)

Yes, it is. Thankfully, you've missed half the attempt.

(The fight that commenced in the second room had been brutal in its difficulty. Now that they're standing closer, Lucretia can see the blood on her forehead, the scraped skin where her sleeves are torn. Cam looks unsteady on his feet; the pair of them exchange a look as they consider the wheel before them for a second time. Six red dots appear on the door above their heads.

Cam goes first. He spins the wheel and the spinner lands on 'hand'; he is docked agility points, grows a little slower. Lucretia spins the question mark, and is asked to forfeit two of her eight languages. Before she can open her mouth to make her choice, Lydia waggles a finger tauntingly at her.)

Oh Lucretia, you didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you? No, I think– we're going to set a couple of parameters on the pool that you can choose from! Though I'm sure you really would have missed being able to speak Celestial and Sylvan.

(The younger Lucretia's jaw sets and for a brief moment she looks stubborn, angry. But she says nothing in response to this. Edward claps his hands together, delighted.)

Oh, you're learning! Fantastic. So: we think that it would be much more fun to have you pick between the languages of your friends, Lucretia. You may pick from Common, Elvish, Dwarvish or Gnomic, dear.

(Lucretia watches on impassively. It's strange, to know that Cisco is getting a glimpse into this so casually and she's unsure how she feels about it.)

It's okay, (she says eventually, her voice quiet as she watches her younger self struggle, and knows that she has it narrowed down to three; giving up Common is out of the question.) It's not your fault.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco watches, looking between the memory to Lucretia, who is standing there, aloof and stony-faced. He tries to take his cues from her; he crosses his arms tightly over his chest and tries to not react to what they're seeing. (Even when he looks away, he can still hear what's happening, so he stops trying to give her the privacy that this dream clearly doesn't want to allow her). He can see how it might make it harder for her, if he's making a big fuss about all this.

But for all his good intentions, Cisco isn't all that great at hiding what he's feeling. He watches as Edward and Lydia prance around, taking great pleasure at the pain of Lucretia and the man with her. Cisco frowns, covers his mouth with his hand as Lydia taunts Lucretia over trying to decide which languages she's going to give up. There is just... so much obvious enjoyment and condescension in the way Edward speaks that Cisco can't help blurting: ]

This is so fucked up.

[ He starts pacing, too full of restless energy to stand in one place. He doesn't want to see this. He's sure Lucretia doesn't want him to see this, either. Cisco is still trying to moderate his reactions, but he has this awful sense that things are just going to get worse from here and he doesn't want to witness it, for a number of reasons. ]

[scholiast]

(In the end, she gives up Elvish and Dwarvish, keeping Common, and Gnomic. The reasoning behind this is, of course, that she has been trying to use Gnomic to talk to Davenport in his almost catatonic state. So far, he'd been as unresponsive to it as he had to Common, but she hadn't been willing to abandon that hope quite yet. Lydia smiles too widely when she delivers her answer, eyes trained on the ground.)

It's deeply fucked up, (Lucretia says bitterly because she can, now, without running the risk of feeding these fucking things. Cisco pacing next to her is helpful in a strange way, because while she is full of nervous energy she finds she can't move, can't stop watching herself and what is happening to her.) To speak negatively in Wonderland is to generate more energy for the liches; we couldn't even protest what was being done to us.

(Cam spins, Lucretia spins. So far neither of them have accepted a penalty. Lucretia's second spin is the clock, and this time Edward leans in with a smile on his face.)

Hmm, (he hums, and suddenly Lucretia smirks, her smile wide, because even if everything else had gone to hell in here at least she will always have this triumph.) Let's see. I think I'll have a little treat– ten years, of your life, Lucretia.

Each! (Lydia chimes in, in irritating sing-song,) Twenty all up, if you please!

A lot of life to lose; you're only human, after all. (Lucretia's head has ducked, her fists suddenly clenched and Edward leans forwards hungrily. It looks very much like she is fighting herself over this decision, when Lucretia knows that, in reality, she is simply trying very hard not to laugh.)

This was the only good thing that came out of here, (Lucretia says ruefully. She looks very satisfied with herself.) The twenty goddamn years; I was trapped on that ship and stuck looking like a twenty-six year old for a century, and they really thought that I would care about this.

[franciscoramon]

[ Well, that little bit of information explains why Lucretia and the guy aren't arguing, or yelling at those two douches to stop being so condescending. Cisco thinks that he would fare very very badly in Wonderland. It's hard to look away from the way the memory version of Lucretia is holding herself, contained, silent, resolute. That must take a lot of willpower, when these two sadists are messing with her mind. Part of him wonders why she doesn't just blast the hell out of them with magic, but presumably there's a good reason.

He keeps waiting for the memory to end, for the two of them to wake up, but it goes on and on. Cam spins the wheel and then it's Lucretia's turn again, and Cisco feels a little nauseous waiting to see where it will land. Lucretia might know what happens, and Cisco might know that she survives this, but all the same... ]

Oh.

[ Cisco doesn't mean to say it out loud, but as soon as the wheel lands on the clock, he gets it. Why Lucretia is so much older, now. He, like the liches, thinks that Lucretia is fighting back tears or something like that, at least until the actual Lucretia speaks, says she was glad not to look like a 26 year old when she'd been through a century of cycles. ]

You... really didn't care?

[ Because the way they phrased it, it wasn't just looks. That was twenty years she could have been alive - they'd taken away 20 years of potential life, and Lucretia had been glad?! ]

[scholiast]

Yeah. I loved it. (She folds her arms across her chest, watching Edward delight in her younger self's presumed internal battle with the same, satisfied smile on her face. She couldn't be smug about it at the time, of course, but she can do it now.)

Oh, if only they had known that I was more than happy to sacrifice my time. They would have hated that.

(Eventually, Cam places a hand on her shoulder reassuringly, tells her if she wants to take the penalty that's fine with him. But Lucretia shrugs off the kindness, giving him a quick, watery smile as she turns back to the elves who are waiting on her answer with baited breath.)

I accept.

(And the moment she says that, she starts to change. Cam is watching the process with a startled look on his face; Lucretia is staring at her hands and arms as her skin ages. It all happens so suddenly; and she looks exactly the same as she does currently.)

I know it sounds crazy, (she says to Cisco, watching herself run a hand slowly up the back of her head, feeling herself out as Cam stares, horrified.) Twenty years is a lot of time. But I've lived six times that already. You can't imagine what it's like to live in a body that doesn't reflect your age like that it's– so disorientating. There's a disconnect. I was more than happy to let them have those years.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco can't understand it, as much as he tries - then again, twenty years is close to his entire life. He is much, much younger than Lucretia, and had always been. Even before she had gotten that canister, when they'd looked closer in age, she'd been much older. And so is Magnus, and then there are Taako and Lup and that's a whole other can of worms. ]

Well... I guess that kinda makes sense. I forget sometimes, that you're all, like, way older than me.

[ As incomprehensible as it is to him, he can tell that Lucretia means what she's saying, and in a way he's glad. These sadistic motherfuckers had thought they were pulling one over on her, but she'd tricked them. There's a certain satisfaction in that, and in knowing that he's watching a moment of triumph, rather than some awful loss that still haunts her. ]

All of this is pretty close to the last thing you remember, right?

[ He seems to recall, in that very awkward confrontation he'd had with Lucretia in her home, that she'd talked about being in Wonderland still, at the end of the memories the canister had given her. ]

[scholiast]

(She chuckles, wiggling her hand in a non-committal gesture.)

Yeah. I'm one hundred and... uh, forty-eight years old. Ish? Twenty years gone doesn't count for much in the long run. I've had way more time than I should have, considering I'm just a human.

(She opens her mouth to address Cisco's other question but the words die in her throat when Lucretia, full of a confidence the others don't know she has, spins the wheel for a second time in a row and lands on mind. This makes the smile drop of the present-day Lucretia's face; she hadn't expected they would get this far along in the memory at all. She doesn't want Cisco to see this. Losing the languages was hard but bearable and the time simple but this–

Lydia is the first to speak, and the look on her face makes Lucretia's blood run cold again, just like it had at the time.)

Mind, mind... let's see. This one is so interesting too, considering all that we know about you Lucretia!

(The younger Lucretia has lost that extra confidence she just possessed. Now she looks downright terrified, her hands gripping themselves tightly. Cam is watching helplessly, unable to help.)

Calm down my dear, (Edward chimes in, slinging an arm jovially around her shoulders; Lucretia stiffens, and doesn't look at him.) I'm sure you're very worried about your friends, but we're sure that we would know what your answer to that proposition would be! So we're going to try make it a little more fun for us, hmm?

(When they next speak, it is in unison:) We would like to take the memory of your parents.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco sees the change swiftly come over present-day Lucretia. She goes still, standing stiffly, tense and uneasy, her smile gone. And he knows it's going to be bad. Whatever it is that wheel lands on, it's something much worse than the 20 years. He closes his eyes and tries once more to force himself to wake up, but it's every bit as useless as ever. Cisco opens his eyes again, feeling vaguely sick watching how Edward drapes himself over Lucretia's shoulders. ]

What happened to these guys anyway, do you know? Did Taako set them on fire? I really hope he set them on fire.

[ All that is far in Lucretia's future, and Cisco doesn't expect that she'll know the answer, but he wants to say something to remind her that this isn't happening - that it happened in the past, yes, but this is a mere echo. Nothing more.

When both the liches say they want to take the memory of her parents, Cisco too goes still, and silent. He wants to ask they can do that?, but of course they can. Magic is magic. Lucretia had used the voidfish to erase Lup from Taako's mind; if something on that level is possible, surely anything is. ]

This is sick.

[ He knows it won't do any good, but Cisco storms off to that single visible door, starts attempting to pry it open, pounding on it - but his fist doesn't even make a noise. He keeps thinking that if he can get them far enough away, maybe he'll trick the dream into ending. But it's hopeless. ]

[scholiast]

(Lucretia exhales tightly as Cisco crosses to the door to try and open it and she doesn't blame him for trying to get away. Nobody should have to experience this shit if they don't have to. In the background, Lucretia has jerked away from Edward, expression twisted up in anger and dread.)

No, no, I won't– how dare you– (Black smoke pours from her mouth as she struggles to find something to say in response and Lydia raises an elegant brow at her, a little smile playing on her lips.)

'No'? Is that your final answer? Do think carefully, darling; can you afford to take the penalty?

(This gives Lucretia tortured pause.)

Take your time, (Edward encourages, rejoining his sister and linking arms companionably with her, his chin coming to rest on her shoulder. Even now they do remind Lucretia uncomfortably of Taako and Lup (in appearance only of course). Twin elves with matching grins.

Cam is speechless next to her. This is what Lucretia was most anxious about Cisco having to see, because– well, surely somebody better would have said 'no' and truly meant it. Somebody better wouldn't have had to think about it, somebody better would not have factored in the need to retrieve the fucking chalice over losing the memory of their parents. A better person would not have briefly considered that it might be a good thing to forget about the only people that had tied them to their home planet, if only to plug up that horrible, hollow part that had been left behind when the Hunger had consumed everything.

But somebody better would not have betrayed the only six people who ever mattered either; she will never be that person.)

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco sees the distress that suggestion causes the memory version of Lucretia, watches as smoke starts to come from her mouth. That startles him, and he glances between the strange smoke and the present-day version of Lucretia, but she is unfazed and unmoving. Just another part of Wonderland, apparently. ]

Lucretia?

[ He gives up on the door, crossing back over to where Lucretia is standing; he doesn't even spare a glance for the sadistic elves, just reaches up and sets a hand on Lucretia's shoulder, trying to get her to look at him, to focus on him and not this fucked up memory they're both stuck in. A small part of him wonders what she will chose, but he shoves that curiosity down for the time being. Chances are he's about to find out. ]

Hey, remember it's just a dream, okay? You're not in Wonderland more, and- and all this fucked up stuff is just a memory. You're gonna be okay.

[ Regardless of the fact that things have been a little complicated between them lately, Cisco doesn't think Lucretia deserves this. She didn't deserve to play this twisted game in the first place, and she doesn't deserve to relive it now. Especially not considering... well, Cisco knows the Hunger had taken Lucretia and Taako and Lup and Magnus's planet. It is gone, and so her parents must be, too. And yet the past version of herself is still considering it, considering sacrificing a part of her identity like that, just to make things right. ]

[scholiast]

(When Cisco's hand drops onto her shoulder Lucretia doesn't react immediately, still frozen in place and staring at the back of her own head. The panic is still so familiar because this only happened what... two, three hours ago, time in Quarantine notwithstanding? When she does eventually realise that Cisco is trying to get her attention she looks at him helplessly, all her words caught in her throat.

The decision she had made here cost her the chalice. Plain and simple. If she had given up the memory they wouldn't have had to spin the wheel an extra time. They wouldn't have had such a hard time in the next room. Lucretia wouldn't have seized that opportunity to leave thanks to the fear of dying, of losing everything.

Was keeping the long lost memories of her parents worth this? If she had taken the chalice here, would she have been able to finish her mission on time?)

I– (she tries, but chokes on the rest. Her chest hurts, hands shaking madly as her head whips back toward the memory of herself. Don't, she wants to shout, even knowing that it's pointless.)

No.

(Edward and Lydia's wide, wide smiles don't falter. Lucretia still can't tell whether or not they were pleased with this answer.) You agree to the penalty?

I do.

(A seventh light appears above the wheel, bright red. Cam sighs exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose; Lucretia's memory self doesn't apologise for her decision. She knows he doesn't begrudge her decision, merely the circumstances.)

[franciscoramon]

[ There is a small part of Cisco, deep down, that feels a bit cold when he hears her say 'no'. Of course he feels sorry for her, watching this. He's not a monster. No one should be put in this position, to have to make such a choice. But... he can't help remembering that she had taken away Taako's memory of his family, without ever giving him a choice. She had done that, and it had left scars on Cisco's friend that are never entirely going to heal. So there is, for a moment, a feeling of disappointment, of judgment.

In a way, though, it is a good thing to see. Lucretia's decision to keep her own memories - memories that couldn't possibly aid in defeating the Hunger - is selfish, and more than a little hypocritical. Still, it's a bit of a relief, to see this flaw. To know that she's only human, and that the mission isn't everything to her, to the point where she'd do absolutely anything for it. There are some limits.

So Cisco sets aside that judgment and reaches out for her hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tightly. He might not be able to say anything that will make this memory less painful, but at least he can be here with her, keep her company while it replays. ]

You're gonna be okay. [ He repeats it, and then, swallowing, adds: ] You did the best you knew how to do.

[ He watches as the man walks up to the wheel again, sets it to spinning. But just as he does, before the momentum of the wheel has noticeably begun to slow, the dream is spinning around them, too. It is shifting, distorting, the walls of Wonderland twisting and fading away. The twin elves vanish, and Cisco just has time to think with relief that they're going to wake up, that the ordeal is over.

Except, apparently, it is not. The darkness stops shifting, resolves itself into a different room around them, much less empty than the one they'd just left. It takes a moment for Cisco to recognize it, and then it feels as if the bottom has dropped out of his stomach. It's the basement of S.T.A.R. Labs. The trap he had built for the Reverse Flash is there, and he sees himself, a memory of himself, bent over the computers, trying to find a fault in the systems. He recognizes the scene in a second - the outfit he'd been wearing, the furtive air of hurry with which he is working. Cisco's hand goes slack within Lucretia's; he knows what memory this is. He knows what is going to happen. But the shock of it is enough that he can't say anything, at first. ]

[scholiast]

(Cisco's hand in hers is a strange comfort. Lucretia wants to pull away but doesn't know if she can do anything other than watch, paralyzed by her younger self's decision. She had told herself she wouldn't beget any remorse over this memory but it's more complicated than that. It always is. Still, she tightens her grip on his hand when he squeezes her fingers, trying to ground herself through the touch and when she briefly closes her eyes she might be wishing that the hand in hers was Taako's, or Magnus', or Lup's. But Cisco doesn't have to know that.

When she opens her eyes again, everything has started to fade out, spinning into darkness when Cam reaches for the wheel and Lucretia breathes out sharply, relieved. If the scene had continued; if Cisco had seen any more she might have dissolved into a bout of panic, and she doesn't want him to ever see her like that. It's too personal a pain. She tightens her hands into fists and drives her nails into her palm, focusing on the discomfort this provides until she can think clearly, force it all down again.

She had darkly assumed that everything might pick up again past the wheel, perhaps during the fight that followed it, the one that scared her into taking Lydia and Edward's offer to leave. It doesn't. When everything comes back into focus, she doesn't recognise where they are.

Despite the relief, she can't quite speak yet. It doesn't take long for her to notice that it's Cisco's turn to turn tense and uncomfortable next to her, his hand slackening in her grip. He looks shocked when she looks at him in concern, so she forces the words out.)

Where are we?

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco swallows, mouth suddenly too dry to speak properly. He lets Lucretia's hand go, bringing his arms up and crossing them tightly over his chest, defensive. At first, he cannot manage an answer. All he can do is try to breathe slowly and keep himself from hurtling immediately towards panic. It's just a dream. Just as false and just as inexorable as the dream of Wonderland before it. He meets Lucretia's gaze quickly, but then his eyes are drawn to the closed elevator doors that he knows will be opening any-

-second. They do slide open, right on cue, and Eobard steps out. The memory version of himself hasn't seen, yet, is facing in the opposite direction. Finally finding his voice, Cisco says weakly: ]

Someplace I don't wanna be.

[ Now that the initial shock is fading, the unfairness of it settles in. Of all his memories, did it have to be this one? This one awful span of a few minutes that he had already relived so many times before? And of all people, did it have to be Lucretia, who for better or worse reminds him sometimes of Dr. Wells? Cisco's breathing grows shallow and quick as the memory version of himself triggers a hologram and watches it with an expression of realization. The hologram begins speaking, and then is interrupted by the real deal. The memory version of Cisco whirls around, an awful clarity settling into his expression when he sees his supposedly-paralyzed mentor standing there.

CIsco looks over to where Lucretia is standing, still no doubt reeling from what she'd seen in Wonderland. He wonders for a moment if it would be possible to distract her so completely that she doesn't see or hear any of this. But Cisco already knows that's futile. She's going to watch him get murdered. That certainty sits in his stomach with an awful, leaden weight.

In the dream, Eobard claps his hands a few times, says: ]

You're incredibly clever, Cisco. I've always said so.

[ The words send an awful shudder through the real Cisco; it is somehow different, experiencing it like this. Not quite like the vibes and the flashbacks. It feels separate from his own thoughts, in a way that makes it more like actually hearing his voice again. Cisco can't imagine what Lucretia must think - Eobard speaking with such lazy fondness in his voice, and the memory version of Cisco standing still, subdued with shock and dawning horror.]

This is... the person I wanted the, um, wards against. The uh- the- the guy whose ghost wouldn't stop following me.

[ She may as well know. May as well understand it all, since there is no way of stopping this, no way of keeping this one thing secret and private and to himself. ]

You and I have never been properly introduced. I am Eobard Thawne.

Thawne? Like Eddie?

Let's call him a distant relative.

[ It is strange, how... subdued the memory seems, from the outside. How sedate. Just two men, standing together and speaking quietly. But there is a riot going on inside Cisco, an awful storm of emotions. Harshly, he spits out: ]

He tortured Eddie. He- he tied him up and starved him and kept him totally alone in the dark for- for weeks.

[ Because Cisco can't stand the thought of Lucretia watching this and not realizing that Cisco is speaking to a monster in the guise of a man. ]

[scholiast]

(As horrible as it is, it's easier for Lucretia to put aside her own shit as she notices Cisco growing ever tense next to her and focus on his anxiety instead: notably, looking for ways she could possibly help. She knows that she can't. If this is anything at all like her memory the pair of them will be forced to watch it until its completion. Lucretia's expression tightens in sympathy.)

I'm sorry, (she murmurs, for everything. For her twisted memories, for them leading into one of his own. For having to be here to see something that he'd rather keep to himself. She knows none of these things are inherently her fault and yet when she notices Cisco wince and shudder at the appearance of a man, she can't help but feel guilty for it anyway.

Eobard.

She's heard about him from Cisco before, but not by name. The person Cisco had asked if she could ward him against. Lucretia watches him guardedly. There's a small part of her that wants to step out in front of the memory Cisco, who is obviously scared, to get between the two of them, even though she knows it won't change a thing. Eobard is dangerous and casual when he smiles, and it makes her skin prickle over.

Her attention jumps back toward Cisco as he speaks, and his words cause a wave of dread in her.)

God, Cisco, I– that's horrible. (She's not sure if he wants her to reach out to him or not, but she offers her hand anyway, just to be safe. Lucretia wants to ask so many questions: what are you to him? What is he to you? Why doesn't he know that you are scared? Or, perhaps more fittingly: why does he know you are scared and still pursue? But she can tell that Cisco doesn't need to be interrogated about this moment just as she can tell that Eobard is simply a monster, and there isn't much more to it than that.)

[franciscoramon]

[ It takes Cisco a moment, to notice the hand that Lucretia is holding out. It's a testament to how screwed up his head is right now, that at first he doesn't understand, thinks that she is expecting him to hand something over... but then he realizes it is an offered gesture of comfort. He swallows, not sure whether he wants to take it or not. In the end, though, he does, because it's against his nature to refuse an outstretched hand. It's an anchor, a reminder that this isn't really happening again, that it's only a dream and can't touch him.

As the memory progresses, the other version of Cisco is becoming more and more visibly distressed - he asks how Eobard had tricked them into thinking there were two of him and Eobard, smiling softly, demonstrates the speed mirage. The Cisco in the memory begins to panic, his breaths coming quick and shallow, and the present-day version of Cisco responds similarly. He can't tell if the dream itself has some kind of emotional bleed-through, or whether this is just his trauma rearing its ugly head. It is impossible for him, to see this and not feel like he is living it all over again. He tightens his grip on Lucretia's hand, frightened and trying to ground himself. ]

Why? You're- his friend, you've been teaching him-

[ Cisco's stomach turns with nausea, and he thinks that he can't take much more of this. Can't just stand here while Lucretia hears all of Eobard's calm justifications, his explanation of how he'd been manipulating them all this whole time. There is too much of it, he thinks, that will give her such immediate and horrible context for the things he has said and done. Not just the wards - the ways he has responded to her, and the situation between her and Taako. When he had brought up the things that made it hard for him to trust her, it had all been so transparently influenced by this - by the plan that Eobard is explaining while pacing around Cisco in a menacing circle. How he had moved them all like puzzle pieces, been biding his time, how they were a "means to an end".

Cisco is trembling badly, now, and he explains, voice thick with the tears he's holding back (the Cisco in the dream started crying a few seconds ago): ]

He was my mentor. He- I would've done anything he asked. I thought- before him I had nothing, and he was the first person who made me feel like... but it was all a lie. All of it. And I- f-figured out too much, so he... he killed me.

[ In the dream, Eobard is still pacing, circling ominously, as the dream version of Cisco holds his head between his hands, looking as if the world is shattering around him. Which it was. Cisco had already known by then that Eobard was going to kill him. He'd known it, with awful clarity, from the moment he walked in the door. The only reason he let Cisco see him standing up, let him know about his grand schemes, as because he wasn't going to let Cisco live to tell anyone. Cisco can't get Lucretia out of here, can't stop this awful, private horror from being exposed. The least he can do is give her a minute or so's warning, about what is to come. ]

-is the key to returning to my world. To my time. And no one is going to prevent that from happening.

[ The past version of Cisco is shaking, trying to think his way out. He's never been a bad liar, even in the best of times. Even a child wouldn't be fooled by the way he offers, shakily: ]

I can help you.

[ The ruse is so pitiful, so pathetic; it ends up being the straw that breaks the current Cisco's back. He has never seen the memory like this - detached, from the outside. Never been able to look at his own face as he tried, desperately, to manipulate his manipulator. To appeal to any goodness and affection that might be in him - to trick him - anything that might stop him from the violent course of action that Cisco knew was coming. But then Eobard is raising his hand in the air, and it begins to vibrate at super-speed, making that awful sound that haunts Cisco still. He sounds amused and fond, more than anything else, as he says: ]

You're smart, Cisco. But you're not that smart.

[scholiast]

(She does notice this as Eobard goes on and on and Cisco's hand grips hers tighter and tighter. When he had come to her apartment to ask about the voidfish and for some of its ichor, Lucretia had sent a message to Taako: why is he afraid of me? Taako had been cryptic in his answer; it was not his story to tell, and Lucretia hadn't ever come back to it after she had seen Cisco out of her apartment hardly half an hour later.

Now, she understands. She watches Eobard explain himself as he stalks about and feels sick to her stomach, her gaze jumping from him to the memory of Cisco (who, she notices with another lurch, is crying). It's hard to watch. Not only because of Cisco's pain but also because it's so obvious as to why she triggered such a wary response in him. All the manipulation, the trickery. How could he have heard Taako's story and not drawn a parallel line between the two of them?

But she... isn't like Eobard.

Is she?)

What do you mean? (Her mouth feels dry as her gaze finally slides back towards the real Cisco, who looks like he is on the verge of true panic. Lucretia knows what she would do if this were Magnus or Taako or Lup breaking down but she has no idea where she stands with Cisco, or how to help him. She gives his hand a tight squeeze, hoping it'll give him something to concentrate on, to remind him that this has already come to pass.

A wave of dread washes over her as Eobard raises his hand. Cisco had specifically said killed; is she about to watch Cisco die? Is that why he came to Quarantine? Because in his world, he is dead? Lucretia remembers the conversation they had had over comic books, his casually brushing off of her concern that he didn't wish to return home, and her free hand leaps to cover her mouth in shock.)

[franciscoramon]

[ He'd been able to say it, the one time. But when Lucretia asks what he means, Cisco feels like his throat has closed up. He can't seem to find the words to explain, and it seems pointless to even try. She's going to find out soon enough. So he manages a choked: ]

You'll see.

[ Cisco has been hanging onto his composure by his fingernails for a little while now, but he starts to slip. The worst is coming, now, and he knows there's nothing he can do to stop the dream, and that knowledge feels far too much like how he had felt at that time, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop his own death. So, even with Lucretia there, looking at him, it all starts blurring together. The sound of that vibrating hand is filling up his head and Cisco is terrified, wants to run, but there's nowhere to go. ]

Do you know how hard it has been to keep all of this from you, especially from you? Because the truth is, I've grown quite fond of you.

[ Cisco slips his hand out of Lucretia's, so that he can cover his ears, trying to block out as much of it as he can. The sound of the vibrations, of his own panicked breathing, and most of all Eobard's calm, rational, affectionate explanations of how hard all of this is on him. Cisco knows what Eobard is going to say next, and he doesn't want to hear it. But of course, it doesn't matter if he hears it or not. The words are burned into his memory: ]

And in many ways, you have shown me what it's like to have a son.

[ The memory version of Cisco doesn't move, even as Eobard approaches him. He is frozen in place with fear, and so is the current Cisco. He thinks that maybe he should shut his eyes, too, but the thought comes just a moment too late. He watches, as Eobard sticks his hand right into Cisco's chest, reaching in past his ribcage to tear at his heart, to pull it to shreds. Cisco knows it's only a memory but he can feel it, an intense pain in his chest that is no less frightening because he knows it is psychosomatic. ]

Forgive me, but to me, you've been dead for centuries.

[ The memory version of Cisco drops to the ground in a heap, dead and unmoving. But the memory doesn't end there, the way it ought to - the perils of Cisco's powers, perhaps, that he can remember the few moments after his own death. Eobard turns away at once and walks from the room, leaving Cisco's corpse laying on the floor like so much trash. ]

[scholiast]

(Lucretia dully registers that Cisco has pulled away from her to block his own ears; her attention is caught by Eobard and his pass at affection, the way he watches Cisco placidly even as he cries. It's sickening. Her heart aches with sympathy for both boys: the one standing beside her, watching everything play out for a second time and the one opposite the both of them, struck still by shock. She almost wants to yell for him to move or run away.

She meant to look away at the moment of his death but it happens too suddenly, and not at all how she was expecting it. Lucretia flinches and her stomach lurches. Thankfully there is no blood, but that doesn't make it any less horrible. The memory of Cisco is wide-eyed and unmoving, whereas the real Cisco is cringing, caught in the phantom pain of it all. Lucretia's hand jumps to his shoulder and anchors there, gripping him tightly and she almost pulls him to her: anything to keep him from having to experience this for a second time.

Eobard's hand moves back in slow motion. She inhales sharply when he speaks.)

Fuck.

(It's all she can think to say. It's so awful she doesn't have the words for it.

It's a wonder that the memory continues on for a bit past then, just long enough for the both of them to watch Eobard saunter from the room without so much as a backwards glance. Lucretia realises how tightly she's been gripping Cisco's shoulder and lets go immediately, her expression troubled as she turns to him.)

It's over, Cisco, I– are... are you okay?

[franciscoramon]

[ Somehow, seeing his own body in a heap like that is almost worse than everything that came before it. Eobard doesn't linger, doesn't even spare a glance. Cisco lowers his hands in time to hear Lucretia's words, turning to look at her. He doesn't say anything, just looks at her, pale-faced and distraught.

Which, rudely, is exactly when the dream ends. Cisco wakes up in his bed, tears on his cheeks, and it takes a moment or two for the disorientation to fade. He covers his face with his hands, scrubbing his cheeks dry before he reaches for his phone on the nightstand and texts Lucretia, quickly, without thinking the message through first: ]

was that really you in the dream?

[ It's a silly hope to hold onto, that it hadn't really been her seeing those things happening to him, that perhaps his subconscious had filled in all those details about Wonderland and none of it was real. That would be much, much better if that were the truth. He doesn't want Lucretia to have had to choose not to give up the memory of her parents, and he really doesn't want her to have seen him being murdered, heard the stuff that Eobard said about loving him like a son. ]

[scholiast]

(Lucretia only gets a glimpse of his agitated expression before the dream sinks into darkness and she wakes with a start in a cold sweat. For a moment, she lies there, breathing hard. Thankfully Beverly isn't there, because she doesn't want to talk about what she's just relieved and seen. When her phone buzzes on her bedside table, she has to take a moment to untangle herself from the sheets (she must have been tossing and turning in her sleep) before she can fully extend an arm to reach it.

It's from Cisco.

Lucretia sighs, wiping her thumb slowly over the words, thinking hard. What she wants to do is deny any knowledge of what he's talking about. Her memories of Wonderland were upsetting, and she know he'd be able to find a reason to explain them away; it would bring him relief to know she had not seen him die like that. She wants him to have that security. He probably needs it.

Lucretia even has a baffled reply typed and ready to hit send on in the morning, but then she abruptly remembers a conversation from only a few days ago, and Taako standing in place, staring at her unimpressed. 'If you ever get to that therapist, ask 'em about this martyr complex you've got going on.')

It was. I'm sorry Cisco.
Are you okay?