Steven Rogers || Captain America (616) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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riverviewlogs2017-10-02 01:07 am
livingsymbol) wrote in riverviewlogs2017-10-02 01:07 am
[open] Some sad chill times before he does Feast things.
who: Steve Rogers and whomever!
what: Steve moping after Tony leaves, fixing up the extra room, and keeping busy.
when: October 1st-3rd
where: various
warnings: Sad Steve in snow? Ultimates Tony because he is his own warning.
He didn't get much warning, and it was over and done within only a few minutes, barely enough time to really register what Tony told him. And after he was gone, Steve was left with a hundred unaddressed questions and half-finished conversations. Little exchanges that promised that maybe another time they would sort things out. They never did, and he's left to think about them in the days and nights that follow. But things in Quarantine move on, and even though it is quieter than it is at home, he knows he has to keep moving too.
i. moving in (for Bucky and Ava)
They're not having any real trouble moving the room around. Cleaning up the items left behind into boxes and wiping the place down takes the longest. Bucky already has the bed half completed and when they manage to get the frame in, it's more a matter of where to put it than getting it together. But Steve is making a bigger production of the change than strictly necessary, trying to get the angle just right and figuring out what furnishings Ava might want in the room, even if she doesn't really worry about it that much herself. In the end, he takes it upon himself to help by repainting the walls. It's at least something that keeps him from "helping" Bucky and Ava do the real work of getting the furniture set up and her things moved in. He's fretting by one of the walls, pencil in hand, as he examines the blank space with serious concentration.
"Wish the window was bigger. You'd have more light."
ii. birds' paths and paper boats
Steve goes out to the parks a few times. The open air is comforting and seeing people out and active does make him feel a little better, but mostly he goes to be alone. He's trying in his own way to conceal the damage done by the loss of a close friend. He knows it's better than having Tony die, but there is a certain finality in the way Tony went that grafts stones in his heart and leaves words falling short of feelings. So he hangs around the edge of the lake, drawing charcoal sketches on sheets of paper. After he finishes one, he folds it into a paper boat and uses wax be bought to seal the bottom before setting it in the water. Soon he has a small fleet drifting one by one on a current out into the open water.
"Now you need air support. In case something drops down from the sky."
He's talking to himself. Maybe if he does it enough it will help.
iii. walk around town
Between Perimeter Guard shifts and random issues that spring up, Steve makes his usual rounds of jogs to get exercise and keep his head clear. He has varying success, sometimes managing to improve his mood by dashing across the rooftops or seeing people on his loops, and other times resorting to beating punching bags at the gym or venturing out beyond the fences to find more challenging fare. Getting into scraps with monsters and pummeling workout equipment at least provides a temporary distraction. If nothing else, he tries to outrun the thoughts plaguing him. A few days he ends up just standing in front of one of the Quarantine pet stores, looking through the glass at the puppies on display. He hesitates, considers going in, then thinks better of it and just lingers outside, waving his fingers at the puppies and playing with them through the window.
"Yeah. It's me again. You're still here too, mm?"
what: Steve moping after Tony leaves, fixing up the extra room, and keeping busy.
when: October 1st-3rd
where: various
warnings: Sad Steve in snow? Ultimates Tony because he is his own warning.
He didn't get much warning, and it was over and done within only a few minutes, barely enough time to really register what Tony told him. And after he was gone, Steve was left with a hundred unaddressed questions and half-finished conversations. Little exchanges that promised that maybe another time they would sort things out. They never did, and he's left to think about them in the days and nights that follow. But things in Quarantine move on, and even though it is quieter than it is at home, he knows he has to keep moving too.
i. moving in (for Bucky and Ava)
They're not having any real trouble moving the room around. Cleaning up the items left behind into boxes and wiping the place down takes the longest. Bucky already has the bed half completed and when they manage to get the frame in, it's more a matter of where to put it than getting it together. But Steve is making a bigger production of the change than strictly necessary, trying to get the angle just right and figuring out what furnishings Ava might want in the room, even if she doesn't really worry about it that much herself. In the end, he takes it upon himself to help by repainting the walls. It's at least something that keeps him from "helping" Bucky and Ava do the real work of getting the furniture set up and her things moved in. He's fretting by one of the walls, pencil in hand, as he examines the blank space with serious concentration.
"Wish the window was bigger. You'd have more light."
ii. birds' paths and paper boats
Steve goes out to the parks a few times. The open air is comforting and seeing people out and active does make him feel a little better, but mostly he goes to be alone. He's trying in his own way to conceal the damage done by the loss of a close friend. He knows it's better than having Tony die, but there is a certain finality in the way Tony went that grafts stones in his heart and leaves words falling short of feelings. So he hangs around the edge of the lake, drawing charcoal sketches on sheets of paper. After he finishes one, he folds it into a paper boat and uses wax be bought to seal the bottom before setting it in the water. Soon he has a small fleet drifting one by one on a current out into the open water.
"Now you need air support. In case something drops down from the sky."
He's talking to himself. Maybe if he does it enough it will help.
iii. walk around town
Between Perimeter Guard shifts and random issues that spring up, Steve makes his usual rounds of jogs to get exercise and keep his head clear. He has varying success, sometimes managing to improve his mood by dashing across the rooftops or seeing people on his loops, and other times resorting to beating punching bags at the gym or venturing out beyond the fences to find more challenging fare. Getting into scraps with monsters and pummeling workout equipment at least provides a temporary distraction. If nothing else, he tries to outrun the thoughts plaguing him. A few days he ends up just standing in front of one of the Quarantine pet stores, looking through the glass at the puppies on display. He hesitates, considers going in, then thinks better of it and just lingers outside, waving his fingers at the puppies and playing with them through the window.
"Yeah. It's me again. You're still here too, mm?"
no subject
I did. I've got you.
no subject
So you have.
no subject
This place is quiet. And then I wonder if there's a reason to being here. Maybe the world did move on. But maybe that's not so bad.
no subject
[ It is normal. He's seen it in soldiers, the restless mentality, the need to do more, to prove one's self. That's why Asgard is so full of people who don't know what to do with themselves. They all wish to be proven warriors. And have no way to do so under Odin's benign rule. ]
Perhaps you came here to find new reasons to being yourself. Which is as important as any mission.
no subject
Maybe I did. Maybe I needed to get away for a while and talk to other people. And find someone who doesn't need the shield.
no subject
I will assume that person is me and I'll take no other answer.
[ A bit softer. ]
Maybe or not, this is what you have found. What you have. And what is irrevocably yours.
no subject
[ He says that gently, one hand resting on Loki's arm. ]
I couldn't ask for more. People that care so much they come find me even when they have their own weight pressing on them. I'm sure I don't deserve the fuss, but I'm glad you found me.
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I will find you. Always.
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[ He wonders about that. Part of Steve thinks that eventually they'll all go home just like Tony had. They all have a place they need to return to. Maybe when they do, their time in Riverview's quarantine will simply fade from their memories. Life will return to normal, like it did before. If they cross back into those separate lives, maybe all of this will end like a dream. ]
I'm just glad you found me now.
no subject
no subject
Thank you.
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[ Loki glances at the boats, floating off. Like valiant ships on the water. A true viking song. ]
no subject
[ Not that Steve doesn't think people check up on him, but having Loki there to make sure he's all right provides stability. Leaving things behind is a lot like sending off a part pf himself, setting ships sail to the sea, and sometimes he longs for the anchor. ]
no subject
[ That was his word, his promise. And Loki means to keep it. As much as he can. ]