Eddie Thawne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
causational) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2017-06-02 08:26 pm
causational) wrote in riverviewlogs2017-06-02 08:26 pm
Entry tags:
[closed] there goes my hero
who: Eddie Thawne and Cisco Ramon
what: A short trip outside the walls to test some equipment.
when: June 9th.
where: One of the wall gates and outside.
warnings: monster attacks, violence, probably some injuries
[Eddie had been aware of what Cisco is doing for a job, that it was similar to what he'd been doing in STAR Labs when he'd been helping out with Team Flash, but he hadn't been aware that Cisco was making gear for the Perimeter Guard and the Police until he'd called Eddie up to ask him to help out with some testing once the Prijata holiday was over. Eddie had easily agreed, basically without thinking too much about it, and they'd arranged to meet up near the Perimeter Guard to debrief Eddie and do a test run before heading out to try the gear against a monster.
Feeling pretty hopeful about the day, Eddie stops at a coffee shop to grab something for himself and Cisco before he heads over, walking up to the agreed-upon spot with a tray bearing two cups - one a nonfat latté, the other a triple-shot extra-sweet concoction that had been on offer at the shop, with lots of caffeine and candy sprinkles on the whipped cream. When he sees Cisco, he lifts his free hand, grinning broadly.]
Hey Cisco! How's it going? I brought some coffee.
[He gestures with the tray vaguely, still smiling.]
So how do we start this?
what: A short trip outside the walls to test some equipment.
when: June 9th.
where: One of the wall gates and outside.
warnings: monster attacks, violence, probably some injuries
[Eddie had been aware of what Cisco is doing for a job, that it was similar to what he'd been doing in STAR Labs when he'd been helping out with Team Flash, but he hadn't been aware that Cisco was making gear for the Perimeter Guard and the Police until he'd called Eddie up to ask him to help out with some testing once the Prijata holiday was over. Eddie had easily agreed, basically without thinking too much about it, and they'd arranged to meet up near the Perimeter Guard to debrief Eddie and do a test run before heading out to try the gear against a monster.
Feeling pretty hopeful about the day, Eddie stops at a coffee shop to grab something for himself and Cisco before he heads over, walking up to the agreed-upon spot with a tray bearing two cups - one a nonfat latté, the other a triple-shot extra-sweet concoction that had been on offer at the shop, with lots of caffeine and candy sprinkles on the whipped cream. When he sees Cisco, he lifts his free hand, grinning broadly.]
Hey Cisco! How's it going? I brought some coffee.
[He gestures with the tray vaguely, still smiling.]
So how do we start this?
no subject
Coffee! [ He doesn't hesitate to take the coffee with all the whipped cream, and starts to immediately go to town on it. ] You, Eddie Thawne, are my hero and my salvation.
[ Once he's gulped down about half of the coffee, Cisco wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, letting out a long sigh of satisfaction before he explains: ]
So, I'm pretty sure all of this stuff is good to go, but I wanna test it in the field, with conditions as close as I can get to the real deal. I figure, after we finish our drinks, we hike out maybe 10 minutes, max, find a nice spot, and then we have a little fun.
no subject
And yet somehow you have this much energy before your coffee and all that sugar...
[Eddie trails off, still grinning a bit as he sips at his own latté, eyes bright. It's obviously not a criticism, it's said in a fond, humorous kind of way. While Cisco is downing half his coffee, Eddie keeps sipping at his, relaxed and pretty at ease. He's already been awake for a few hours, gone to the gym, taken a shower, eaten breakfast, so when Cisco starts explaining what's happening, he's alert, easily able to keep up.]
Sounds perfect. So what kind of gear did you think up? You always build such cool gear for Barry, I'm kind of excited to try it out.
no subject
[ Cisco takes another big gulp, gets a bit of whipped cream on the tip of his nose, and has to rub it off with as much dignity as he can muster Which is not all that much. The truth is, it was not so much real energy but excitement over getting to spend the day with Eddie, doing fun science and just hanging out. Maybe it's a little sad, but Cisco's been looking forward to it. A lot. ]
What, and spoil the surprise? Naw naw naw. This is some you-gotta-see-it-to-believe-it stuff we're talking about.
[ He finishes off his coffee, eager even though he knows there is no rush. Eddie is drinking his at a much more reasonable speed, and Cisco doesn't really want to hurry him. So he disposes of his cup and then asks, jerking his head in the direction of the wall. ]
You been on the other side, yet? This'll be my first trip.
no subject
Wow, you should try telling me the rules before I break them sometime.
[It's a gentle tease in return, and Eddie is still laughing as he listens to Cisco start explaining that the tech is a surprise. Eddie's brows shoot up, and he swallows hard, starts moving toward the wall, still drinking, when Cisco jerks his head toward the wall.]
Oh, yeah, early on there was a really big monster attack going on, so I helped back up the Perimeter Guard. That was the first time I met Taako. He shot some kind of gas out of his umbrella to poison them, and when I shot my gun the whole mess exploded. Pretty awesome.
[A pause, and then a shrug.]
Nothing more than a few minutes though.
no subject
I'll fax you a copy of the manual.
[ See, if he'd been talking to almost anyone else here, he probably would have had to explain why talking about faxing something is funny, and maybe clarify that there is no actual manual for how to speak to him.
Cisco's eyes go wide when Eddie describes his previous venture past the wall. ]
Oh man, I wish I coulda seen that. Smart move, too, using the gun to ignite the gas.
[ He wants desperately to ask Eddie how things are going with him and Taako, but for all that Eddie and him have shared some pretty personal moments already in this place, he's not really sure they're at the "random unasked-for inquiries about the other guy's sex life" stage of a friendship just yet. So he bites it back, for now. ]
We shouldn't be out too long, and we're not going far or anywhere dangerous. Just wanna get the conditions right, and also... to make sure that if we end up knocking down a tree or something, the city council or whoever isn't gonna be on my ass about it.
[ While Eddie is finishing up his coffee, Cisco pulls an elastic from his pocket and pulls his hair into a very loose ponytail, just to keep most of it out of his way. It's impossible for him to entirely hide his restless energy, but he behaves himself until Eddie is finished and then says, eagerly: ]
Let's do this!
no subject
So, the manual is going to be 90% a sci-fi, video game, and action movie terminology glossary, right?
[Eddie says it with a little grin, poking fun at his own lack of knowledge about those particular subjects. Action movies, he knows a bit about, but all the references Cisco makes usually go straight over his head. And if Cisco wants to ask about his relationship with Taako, that also goes right over Eddie's head. It doesn't even occur to him that Cisco might be interested, so he just babbles on about that first meeting at the wall.]
It was massive, we should get together with Taako and we can show you sometime, it was a pretty great team-up. After that...
[Eddie goes on to tell the rest of the story, animated and bright, sipping his coffee while he does, and then he goes quiet when Cisco starts outlining what he has in mind for the trip outside the wall. Finishing his coffee in a few more gulps and tossing the cup in the nearest trash bin while Cisco ties up his hair into a loose messy ponytail, strands hanging around his face. Honestly, Eddie's never seen a guy pull that look off before, so it's a little surprising how good it looks on Cisco.]
Sounds perfect. [Then, clapping his hands together, he squares his shoulders.] Alright. Enough suspense. I want to find out what badass gear you made me. This is kind of exciting, it's like being The Flash for a day, getting decked out in superhero gear.
no subject
[ He listens to Eddie's story about what had happened, and it doesn't do anything to really scare him about the dangers of being on the other side of the wall. Cisco's in an unusually optimistic mood. Careless, even. Nothing bad is really going to happen. He's with Eddie, not alone. Bad things only ever seem to happen to him when he's alone.
And after that story, he really can't resist at least nudging the conversation ever so slightly in the direction of the sitch between Eddie and Taako. ]
I'd love that. Taako seems great. Like super friendly and fun. He offered to let me look at his spellbook and everything.
[ The last time he and Eddie had talked about Taako, there had been a lot of other distracting stuff going on (like him having a horrendously embarrassing panic attack), and Cisco hadn't known him as well at the time. It occurs to him that Eddie might not actually know that he's hung out with Taako a few times since then, and that he approves of him as a person. ]
I'll show you once we find a spot to work in, I don't wanna haul it all out of the bag and then put it back, and a lot of this will be easier to explain if I can demonstrate at the same time. So just a lil bit more suspense.
[ Cisco heaves up the large bag, tightening the straps on his shoulders and saying: ]
Lead the way.
[ The other side of the wall doesn't look all that daunting; it's actually rather lush and beautiful. Cisco enjoys their walk out, over the damp earth and moss and fallen leaves. The sun dapples down through the branches and it all seems so peaceful. Easy to forget, that there are monsters. It just doesn't seem like the kind of place where they would be.
He's enjoying the walk, and the pleasant conversation with Eddie about how they're settling in - new people they've met, stores they like, the politics within the police department - that Cisco lets them both walk a lot further into the woods than he'd intended. It's around half an hour before he spots a clearing and turns in that direction, climbing over a small boulder and stepping into the sunny expanse of tall grass. He shrugs off the heavy backpack, fanning himself as he looks around. ]
Perfect.
[ Then, without further ado, he unzips the bag and begins to lay out all sorts of things. Something that looks suspiciously like a ray gun, and something else that seems like little more than a taser. There are a few suit jackets, all of which seem to be armored in one way or another. There are smaller communication devices that he lines up carefully along the top of a fallen tree trunk. He pulls it all from the bag at once, gestures over it all with a dramatic flourish and says: ]
Pick one.
no subject
[Eddie shoots Cisco a little grin, appreciates when Cisco so openly listens to his story, and as they head out into the forest, it almost feels like a picnic, a hike, a fun outing instead of something dangerous. When Cisco comments on Taako being fun and friendly, offering to let Cisco look at his spellbook, Eddie lights up a bit.]
Yeah. He's teaching me how to do magic, can you believe it? [Grinning, he shakes his head a bit.] And yeah, he is fun and friendly, a bit of a jerk sometimes, but he has great hair, which makes up for it.
[It's obvious that Eddie's being facetious when he says that, along with the teasing tone that they have going, though the comment about Taako's hair is absolutely genuine. They continue chatting while they walk out into the woods, the sun shining through the trees, dappling the grass and dirt under their feet, a light breeze blowing so it never gets too warm, and Eddie loses track of time just as much as Cisco does. When they finally get to the clearing where Cisco declares everything perfect, Eddie nods and takes a deep breath, glancing around to verify the clearing is empty of any monsters or anything weird, and then focusing on what Cisco's laying out.
When the younger man gestures at the array of items, Eddie lets out a long, slow whistle.]
Wow. I feel like James Bond right now.
[A little grin, and his eyes scan to the taser. Pointing, he glances up at Cisco.]
Okay, what's that do?
no subject
The reference to James Bond makes Cisco laugh, and he explains, as he is picking up the taser-like object: ] Man, I always wanted to be Q when I grew up. [ He hands the thing over to Eddie, leans in close so he can point out the different parts as he explains: ]
The idea is it's like a taser but without the excruciatingly painful part, and hopefully with less of a chance you'll miss. I still gotta run some tests but I'm hoping the next version of this I can build in something that'll neutralize superpowers and maybe even magic, if I can swing it. It's just that for that, I kind of need a meta who will work with me and let me test it on them and not everybody's as willing to be a guinea pig as you. [ A radiant, ear-to-ear smile, then ] Okay, see, so here's how it works...
[ It's not strictly necessary to explain just HOW the thing works, to Eddie. But it's really nice to have someone to talk to about it, and he knows that Eddie will listen, even if he doesn't understand every single detail. He tries to make the explanation accessible without obviously dumbing it down, and before long Cisco is darting off into the middle of the clearing, running backwards while waving his arms and yelling: ]
Mwahaha, I'm an evildoer resisting arrest, but your shoelaces are tied together and you can't chase me, if only there were something you could use to stop me-!
no subject
Once Cisco explains what the device Eddie chose is and does, Eddie blinks a bit, eyebrows raising as he looks at the device in Cisco's hands, then takes it, turning it over a couple of times curiously while Cisco mentions that he wanted to be Q. Eddie can't help a soft laugh at that.]
You basically are Q though, with Barry. You make all his gear, right?
[A bright grin, and then Cisco is moving away, darting off. Eddie hesitates for a moment, brows furrowing as he looks at Cisco.]
I'm not gonna shoot you, Cisco.
no subject
Yeah... I do....
[ Whether or not that makes him anywhere near as cool as Q is a different matter, but for now, he'll just take the compliment. He laughs at Eddie's hesitation; so correct, so Eddie, he ought to have expected it. ]
Dude, I've been shooting myself with them in the lab dozens of times. I told you, it's not painful. We just gotta see if the aim's less terrible than it was when I started.
[ It takes a little more coaxing, but eventually he talks Eddie into shooting him with the not-taser. At Eddie's insistence, they take turns being the ones wielding the tech, and the ones being wielded at. Cisco shows Eddie all the rest of what he's brought, and most of it works the way he'd expected. And Eddie's feedback is way useful - which things are awkward to hold, which items have the most potential to be useful, which should be a different color for this or that practical reason.
Cisco loses track of time, forgets to be on his guard even though they're on the other side of the wall. When the monster shows up, his attention is entirely occupied in re-packing all of the gear into the backpack. ]
It's like... why is it always harder the second time? Why is my life a horrible game of 3-D tetris?
[ Which is when he hears the sound of heavy footfalls, of foliage rustling, and of fast animal breathing. Cisco doesn't understand, at first; when he looks up, he is not afraid, but confused. ]
You hear that?
no subject
Fine fine, you can't blame me for not wanting to hurt you...
[And Cisco doesn't. It's actually a really comfortable situation, testing the gear with Cisco, letting Cisco shoot it at him, Cisco takes his feedback seriously, he feels heard. All around, he's definitely thinking he'd work with Cisco any time, that this was...actually fun. It's still relaxed while Cisco starts putting together all the gear again, trying to pack it away, complaining about it being a 3D game of tetris.
Eddie picks it up half a second before Cisco does, the sound of footfalls, and he's turning almost immediately, lifting his hand to hover over the gun in his shoulder holster, eyes narrowed.]
Yeah. Yeah I hear it. There's something coming.
[Shifting a little closer to Cisco, he glances over at him, and then back at where the foliage is rustling, branches shaking, and Eddie thinks he can see through the bushes, the rough scaly hide of something very large and reptilian.]
Looks like there's a monster in the bushes over there. Did you bring...anything with more firepower?
[It's a shot in the dark. Eddie's pretty sure Cisco showed him everything that he brought out, and judging by the heaviness of the footfalls, none of that is going to stand up against the monster. Eddie's hand is shaking a bit as he draws his gun, takes a breath.]
If not, we might need to move slowly into cover and come back for the gear later.
no subject
No. This stuff is all low-level, none of it's got that kinda stopping power.
[ His heart is hammering, but he's not freaking out - at least, not yet. It helps that Eddie is here, standing a little bit in front of him, between him and whatever is in the bushes. And it helps that Eddie is armed, even if it's just a handgun. He's not alone. ]
We can come back for it. There's trees about- [ He quickly turns his head to look and gauge the distance ] -about thirty feet back.
[ And so, together, the two of them back away from the thing, whatever it is. When they reach the trees, Cisco lets out a slow breath; the thing hasn't followed them, hasn't come into the clearing. He can hardly see it now. Is it even still there?
Which is when he realizes that the noise it had made before was deliberate, that the monster could move silently if it wanted to. And what it had wanted was to lure the two of them into the trees. Probably easier for it to run them down. All of a sudden, the lizard thing is right there, just a few yards away and running at them flat out.
He doesn't even have time to call out to Eddie; Cisco just grabs the shoulder of his shirt and hauls it hard as he starts to run away from the thing, in full and total panic, now. Cisco had always hated running in P.E., but the fear of sudden horrible reptile death is a pretty compelling factor. He runs flat out, not paying attention to which way he's going. He only has enough focus available to keep track of how far back the monster is, and where Eddie is beside him, and to avoid the trees and underbrush and roots and stones. He doesn't even have time to shout fuck! or any such appropriate obscenity. He just runs and runs, hoping the thing will give up, that he doesn't trip or get too tired or come across another one. ]
no subject
[His voice is still calm and quiet, even though he can feel his adrenaline pumping now, his breathing and heartbeat loud and intense in his ears, but he's always been good at keeping calm under pressure. So he keeps it together, and keeps his eyes on the monster, and Cisco falls perfectly in line, gives him an idea of where they're going to so he doesn't have to stop looking at the monster.
Or at least where he thinks the monster was. Because the monster is definitely not where he thought it was, in fact, it's running at them at top speed. Eddie starts running a moment after Cisco, but he outpaces him pretty quickly, he's in better shape, he's got longer legs. But Cisco is scared, moving fast, and it's working. They're outrunning it.
But there's no way this is gonna last. The lizard monster is built to run, built for a long chase, and Eddie and Cisco aren't built to run forever, not at this pace. So Eddie makes an executive decision, his heart pounding, his lungs aching, and stops. He stops, he pivots on his heel, and lifts his gun again.]
Keep running, Cisco!
[And he squeezes the trigger, watches as the bullet slams into the thing's shoulder, and does barely anything but make it roar. But he stands firm, keeps squeezing over and over again. The thing falters, slows down as bullets pelt its forehead and shoulders and muzzle, but they don't do more than break skin, and Eddie's breathing hard through grit teeth as it bears down on him.
Everything happens in a flash, too fast to register, and in slow motion all at once. The creature's head ducks, and the side of it slams into Eddie's ribcage and shoulder, throwing him to the side and off his feet. Rolling to his side, he's halfway up again before the monster's claws slash across his chest, abrupt and sudden and with a bright white-hot pain that leaves his ears ringing in shock.]
no subject
This was an animal, a real-life monster. It didn't care about him one way or another - he and Eddie were just prey. Cisco couldn't reason with the thing, couldn't outrun it forever, didn't have the strength or the tools to fight it.
So when Eddie stops, plants his feet and tells Cisco to keep running, he does, for a few seconds. Everything in his body screams to keep on running, to run and run and never stop. But after a few paces and the shockingly loud sound of gunshots, he stops, looks over his shoulder, and his heart misses a beat. The thing didn't even slow down; he sees the last two bullets in Eddie's gun hit it and it doesn't even flinch. Which is when he stops running, standing still and watching in horror. His body is frozen with shock as he watches the thing swipe at Eddie with its head and send him flying through the air like a rag doll. The whole thing is horrifying and oddly unreal.
And when the monster lifts up its front leg to slash at Eddie, Cisco's brain just - shuts off. Maybe, on some deep subconscious level, he makes the decision logically - that he won't just stand there frozen and helpless while bad things happen, not a second time. Or maybe it's just instinct, or emotion, which propel him forward, back in the direction he'd come. Later, when he thinks back on it, Cisco can't remember what was going through his head at all - only that he had to get himself between Eddie and that damn thing before it killed him. ]
HEY!
[ He yells before he even reaches them, loud and harsh as he can; the monster turns its head, distracted. Cisco can see a lot of red on Eddie's shirt, but he sees him move, too, so he's not dead - not yet anyway. There's still a chance. Cisco doesn't slow down at all when he reaches them, just runs right up and tries to shove the thing with both hands away from Eddie, push it back a few feet so he can, what? Wrestle it? But he's not thinking that far ahead.
And something happens; Cisco doesn't just shove the thing back. The hairs stand up on the back of his neck, down his arms, and there is a thrumming, a feeling of heat and energy that can't just be the adrenaline. The next thing he knows the monster is flying backwards, legs waving comically while it's in the air. When it hits the ground, Cisco doesn't hesitate; he's operating on pure hope and instinct, now. He thrusts his arms forward again, palms out, and this time the distance between himself and the monster makes it unmistakable. There are waves of bright blue energy shooting from his hands and right into the lizard. It skids along the ground, unrooting ferns, hits the trunk of a tree hard enough that, over the sound of the humming energy, Cisco hears an ominous creak.
He is breathing hard, pulse roaring in his ears. He takes a few steps forward, hands held in front of him, as the monster gets up, ready to hit it again if he has to. But the moment it regains its feet it is running away, limping and making a low noise of pain. ]
no subject
So there's no real fear in him, despite the adrenaline, the way his heart pounds, the way his breath comes tight and too fast. There is, of course, fight or flight, all the natural physical responses. But there's no fear. Eddie knows that what he's doing is right, he doesn't regret doing it, and he isn't afraid of dying. He's already dead.
It hurts, though, when the monster's head slams against him, knocks him breathless, pain spiking through his chest like someone drove a railroad spike between a couple of his ribs. Tumbling backward through grass and ferns and moss, Eddie grunts a few times, then comes to a halt as the monster lifts its claws and swats at him. The sharp edges dig deep and he makes a little shout of pain, crumpling backward.
The next swat will kill him, he thinks.
But it doesn't happen. Eddie's struggling to make his body cooperate, his arms shaking a little, legs feeling uncoordinated, but he gets his head up, looks blearily on as Cisco leaps in front of him and yells 'hey!' with his voice so loud and confident, his arms up. Everything feels surreal, his vision and hearing blurry, sound and sight suffused under pain, and it doesn't help when Cisco lifts his arms, starts to shove at the beast and it goes flying backward. He does it again, there's a sound like ray guns, a thrumming in the air, and the monster tumbles end over end, hits a tree, and then makes a noise as it flees.
Everything goes silent after that. Eddie's just leaning on an elbow, struggling to breathe through the crippling pain, his ears ringing, his head throbbing, staring at Cisco with his face pale and eyes wide.]
Cisco...did you just...?
no subject
[ Cisco doesn't really register the question, just that Eddie has spoken; he whirls around and all he can see at first is the red seeping into Eddie's shirt, the pallor of his face and the way his arm is shaking as he supports his weight on it. Cisco is in crisis mode, now. No time to hesitate. He is at Eddie's side in a moment, not so much kneeling as collapsing onto his knees right beside Eddie. ]
Don't try to talk or get up, okay, just lay down and- and keep an eye out if there's more of them.
[ His hands feel so strange; numb and prickly and warm all at the same time. When he presses them against Eddie's chest, puts pressure over the bleeding wound, he can't actually feel the wetness of the blood, even though he sees it. Cisco presses hard - hard enough that it probably hurts, but stopping the bleeding is more important. He'd taken a first-aid class in college but that feels like it was a million years ago. ]
We gotta- we gotta bandage this.
[ It doesn't matter that he'd left his backpack in the clearing - he hadn't brought serious medical supplies, in the first place. There wasn't any room and he didn't think he'd need them. What an idiot.
Cisco takes his hands off Eddie's wound, only long enough to pull off his top layer of t-shirt. He has worked with enough cloth to know that ripping it up into a neat long strip to use as a bandage is nowhere near as easy as it looks in the movies. But he uses his teeth near the seam, and manages to tear it into a very uneven but functional bandage. ]
Lift up your chest, I'm gonna try to get this- to stop some of the bleeding.
[ It isn't until right then, when he pushes up Eddie's shirt and actually sees the claw marks, that the whole thing really sinks in. Just how close they'd both come to dying. Cisco's breaths are shallow and thready with delayed panic, but he keeps working, winds the cloth around Eddie a few times, tightly, before tying it.
There is something jagged and shocked about his voice when he admits: ]
I've never done that before.
no subject
But he doesn't protest, because the danger of blood loss is more than that. When Cisco lifts his hands, though, the rush of sudden pain is enough to make his mouth run with saliva, his stomach clench in anticipation of throwing up, but he holds it back, just arches his back a bit when Cisco starts tearing at his shirt to make it into a makeshift bandage, starts pulling his shirt open to look at the gashes.]
Hey. Hey, it's okay. I'm gonna be okay.
[Eddie lifts a hand, catches Cisco's wrist, and squeezes it, firm and gentle, even though his hand is shaking.]
It looks...it looks way worse than it is. I'm fine.
[Focusing on reading Cisco when he responds that he's never done that before helps Eddie deal with the pain of arching his back, and then pushing up on his elbows so Cisco can wrap his chest with the strips of t-shirt, tightly. The pressure hurts, but he can feel the hot wetness of blood spreading more slowly, and he swallows a few times, trying to get used to the pain.]
You saved me. That's...that's pretty badass.
no subject
You're not- f-fine.
[ The words come out choked and fervent with worry. When Cisco finishes tying the bandage he pulls his hands away, moves to brush his hair out of his face, realizes they're covered in blood. He wipes them a little frantically on the fabric of his pants, getting most of it off. ]
We need to get you back to the city, asap.
[ It's an easy decision for the next logical step, but the moment he says it, the logistics hit Cisco with the force of a speeding truck. Eddie might be too hurt to walk. Walking might make him bleed more, make him bleed internally, do damage to his organs. They could encounter more monsters in the forest between here and the wall. And then there's the sheer distance - even if they encountered no obstacles and went at the pace they'd been walking before anyone was hurt, it would still take so long.
Cisco hangs his head a moment, fighting a new wave of helplessness and fear. They had to try. There were no other options. He just needs to get a hold of himself, fight down this stupid urge to just give up and cry. ]
I should've stopped when you did. I shouldn't have kept running.
[ Cisco doesn't question it - why Eddie's praise at how he'd used his powers makes his guts twist themselves into knots. He thinks of it quickly - how it had felt, and the blue light, and the way the monster had limped and whimpered as it ran away. He thinks about his powers and supposed great destinies and then he has to say something, because he can't bear to stay on that train of thought ]
I knew. I mean, I knew I was a meta. I just didn't know I could do..... that.
no subject
Hey.
[Eddie pushes up on his elbows, gets himself into a shaky sitting position, and it hurts, it hurts so bad, the twinging in his ribs, the way the torn skin of his chest shifts and blood oozes out into Cisco's makeshift bandages, but he does it. Because he needs Cisco to be okay right now.]
Hey. Look at me, look at my face, Cisco, okay? I'm gonna be fine. I've lived through worse than this, okay? It looks worse than it is, I promise. I was prepared to die when that monster came at me, but I didn't. You saved me. Now I have no intention whatsoever of dying anytime soon, okay?
[He has no idea about all the complicated things surrounding Cisco's powers that are going on in the other man's head. Honestly, it barely phases him that Cisco is a meta, he's not surprised, he's not shocked, it isn't a big deal to him, besides being cool. Besides the feeling of admiration, the gratitude at being protected.]
And no, you shouldn't have. I asked you to keep running for a reason, okay?
[Eddie manages a smile, weak and pale though it might be, it's something.]
You should tell me about it, what you knew you could do, if you want. While we start walking home.
no subject
(But somewhere in the back of his mind, he registers that if Eddie does really make it through this, they're going to have to have a Talk about Eddie being prepared to die, just like that. How he had done the exact same thing as before, sacrificing his life like it means nothing to him. Once could be categorized as extraordinary bravery - twice is the beginnings of an alarming pattern.) And even that thin little smile of Eddie's somehow only makes it worse. Cisco's jaw is tight and he shakes his head. ]
No, I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have.
[ Cisco's stubbornness is battling his knowledge that they can't just sit here arguing. Would it be better to stay here a few minutes, catch their breath and let Eddie rest? Or would it be better to go now, as quickly as possible? Cisco opts for the latter, getting unsteadily to his feet. It's a surprise, how lightheaded he feels for a moment, but he stands still until it passes. Then he bends down to help Eddie get up. The operation is slow and no doubt painful for Eddie; Cisco hauls him up, tries to take as much of his weight as he can without hurting him. Once Eddie is on his feet, Cisco pulls Eddie's arm across his shoulders, tucks his own arm securely around Eddie's lower back to help hold him up. ]
Which... which way was it?
[ For a few horrified seconds, Cisco thinks about getting lost in the woods, hopelessly lost so that they're never found, and they starve to death and no one ever knows what happened to them. His hand tightens against Eddie's side, breaths shallow and rapid with fear. Then, incongruously, there's a groan from the tree a little ways off, that he'd blasted the monster into. Cisco watches, confused, as it starts to tip to the side, and then slowly it topples down to the ground, sending birds flying off from the surrounding trees.
But it snaps his mind back into focus. The monster had approached from that way, and they'd run from it, so if they just head in that direction, well, it's a start. ]
C'mon...
[ Cisco can feel the way Eddie is trembling as they start to walk, can imagine how much pain he's in no matter how much he masks it. How had everything gone so horribly, horribly wrong? And it's all Cisco's fault - no question of that. It was his dumb idea to do the tests outside the city. He'd been the one who decided to keep walking because the forest was nice, and left them this far from medical help. Hadn't brought medical supplies, or the kind of major firepower they should have had on hand. And now Eddie's hurt, all because of Cisco.
The silence is too awful, listening to the pain in Eddie's breathing as they make their way through the trees, thinking every sound of a twig they step on is the approach of some new deadly threat. Cisco clears his throat; Eddie had asked him to talk, so. He'll talk. ]
You kinda already know. You just don't know you know.
[ Cisco never understood how the rest of them hadn't figured him out. The answer, once he'd been told it, was so obvious it was laughable. How could Cisco remember things he wasn't supposed to? Well, how did other people do things no one was supposed to be able to do, like teleport or control the weather? They were metahumans. ]
You know I... how I have dreams about what happened in that other timeline? [ He's preoccupied enough that it doesn't even occur to him to lie and use the past tense, pretend that's not a thing that happens anymore. ] It's not just dreams. I get these visions. When I'm awake. Just out of nowhere.
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But then Cisco seems to realize the same thing, and he takes a breath, gets to his feet, and starts working to help get Eddie to his feet too. The concentration it takes to grit his teeth through the pain, to keep himself coordinated so he doesn't add to Cisco's worry, distracts him from wanting to argue back when Cisco says he should've stayed behind again. It doesn't occur to him that it's a worrying pattern or any of the other things Cisco was thinking - in his mind, it's what he signed up for when he became a police officer, to put himself between civilians and danger. It also doesn't occur to him that any of this might be Cisco's fault. Neither of them were paying attention to how far they'd gone, neither of them had thought to bring a pulse rifle or a first aid kit. In fact, Eddie is a police officer and should've been the one to come up with that kind of idea.
But it happened. There's no use in dwelling on it now.
He's about to open his mouth about the direction they'd come when Cisco turns them that way and starts moving. Smiling a little, he glances over at Cisco.]
You're way better at this than you think you are. Dealing with emergency situations. Things are gonna be fine.
[He truly believes it, and even if he's shivering while he walks, trembling a little from pain and weakness, he feels like they're going to make it. They're going to be okay.
When Cisco starts talking about his meta abilities, Eddie listens. It registers the moment Cisco says about his dreams why he hadn't been surprised when Cisco said he was a meta-human, because he knows that it wasn't a normal human thing to remember erased timelines. He hadn't remembered it, neither had Joe or anyone else, but Cisco did. At the time, they'd brushed it off, Barry had said it didn't matter why he could do it, just that he could, and Eddie had let it go at that. Had never really mentally dug deeper. He's kind of regretting that now.]
Visions? What kind of visions? Other erased timelines and stuff? I hope...I hope they're not all bad like that one was.
[They're moving, now, almost back to the clearing where the stuff is, and Eddie furrows his brows. They'll have to come back for it later, but thankfully it doesn't seem like anything the monsters will have much interest in. Neither of them can carry it right now. Leaning a little on Cisco for support, he takes a measured breath, and then keeps walking past it, lifts a finger to point.]
I remember we came from that direction. There was a dry creek bed or something, with moss in it, that we were walking along. Right? Or am I crazy?
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They fall into a rhythm together - one foot in front of the other. Keep going, keep breathing. Eddie starts off strong, but as they go, Cisco can feel it beginning to take a tool. He stumbles once, twice, but Cisco's there to steady him and keep their momentum going. One foot, then the next. The forest around them is silent. Maybe some of the birds had seen what Cisco did to that giant lizard, and they'd told all the other little birds and woodland critters to steer clear. ]
Not really- they're- you see bad isn't exactly-
[ After several stuttering false starts, Cisco stops, takes a moment to two to regroup. They keep walking, and he eventually breaks the silence: ]
Sorta weird to talk about it. You're the first person I've told. Barry doesn't know. Even Caitlin doesn't.
[ Stein had realized it, but he's the only one Cisco had spoken to about this, and that conversation had been short, and painful, and not something he had chosen. But there's no hiding this from Eddie. After what he'd seen... talking about a few visions doesn't seem entirely impossible. ]
I don't really understand them. Sometimes it's just... watching myself get murdered over and over, which is just as fun as it sounds. That's how it started, and I thought I was going crazy, until we found out all that really happened and Dr. Wells told me remembering it means I have to be a meta. And I didn't wanna believe it but a while after that I started getting visions that weren't just about me. I see... other people. People I've never met, in places I've never been. And they just sort of happen. I can't control them and once they start I can't stop them.
[ At which point, Cisco runs out of breath, and also runs aground against a knot of complicated emotions that he isn't even going to try to put into words right now. He refocuses on their surroundings, feels a pang of regret, as they pass the pack with all those things he'd worked so hard to make. But there's no way to carry it and Eddie, and those things are replaceable. Eddie isn't. ]
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Keep an eye out for it.
[ They head in the direction Eddie indicated, and Cisco can feel his trembling getting worse. Eddie is leaning more weight on him than before, his breathing a bit louder, and Cisco's gut twists with worry. ]
You saw me have a vision. I had one in your room, after I had that panic attack because of that stupid firefly bite. Or- while I was having it? Or, I don't know. And I don't even know if you could tell. I don't have a clue what it looks like from the outside.
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Huh.
[It's a sort of grunt, and Eddie winces as his foot comes down hard, cracks a branch on the ground, and his ankle rolls to the side. Gasping slightly, he stumbles slightly, but then keeps moving. The ankle doesn't hurt, but his ribs do from where his muscles went tight from trying to counterbalance himself. Pulling breath hard through his clenched teeth, it takes him a few moments of dogged walking to get the pain under control, and he knows he's pale and sweaty from the tension, the effort it takes, from the blood loss. But it's good, to listen to Cisco and think about what he's saying instead of how cold he feels despite the sunny day and wondering how long it's going to take to get back to the safety of the walls, to the hospital, then feeling awkward and uncomfortable at the idea of being in the hospital, because it reminds him of his stay there after the incident with Tockman. It reminds him of his stay there after he'd first arrived, doped up for days and only able to think about how much he wanted to go back home to his life, about Iris and Joe's face while he'd died.
That train of thought is most of the reason his breathing is a bit louder, and he tries to keep his attention focused on Cisco. This is important, it's vitally important, because if this is something Cisco hasn't even told Barry or Caitlin, it's something that's worth paying attention to. Worth really listening and digesting what he's saying and all the implications of what he's not saying. That serves to get his mind off of his own problems, and his gaze clears, some of his pain fades.]
So...so it's visions of other timelines, or other...places. I wonder if you could see home from here with it.
[A moment, and he lifts a hand to vaguely gesture toward the space between trees they'd come through from the dry riverbed, starts moving toward it. After another pause, breathing heavily as he maneuvers himself over some rough terrain, he finally speaks again, answering that last part.]
You just...you sort of go blank. Your eyes go empty, like you're not focusing on anything and your expression goes kind of slack. [A pause, and he bites at his lower lip, eyes tracking down to the ground.] It was kind of scary, because I didn't know what was going on. I was worried you were having a seizure or something.
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You got this, you're okay, keep going...
[ They still have a long way to go, such a long way, but it's easier to be a little optimistic, now that they're moving. They just need to keep going. That's all. Just to keep on and endure until they make it to safety. He never wanted this, any of this. But it does have the unintended effect of making talking about his powers feel less disastrous, less overwhelming. ]
Maybe. I- I don't know. It's not like I can pick what I see, it just happens and I can't stop it.
[ Eddie's description of how he seems during a vibe isn't really a surprise; he knew it must be something like that. But still, hearing it, and the way Eddie says he thought he was having a seizure... it's not very easy. Cisco's voice is tight, and not just from the exertion of helping Eddie to walk, when he says urgently: ]
You can't tell anyone. I mean... please, please don't tell anyone, Eddie. I don't want anybody to know.
[ Just then, they come across a felled tree by a little stream, that is the perfect height for sitting. Cisco stops walking, easing Eddie down to sit and catch his breath for a moment. Cisco is breathing hard, too, and brushes some wisps of hair from his face that have fallen from his bun. ]
I think we might be halfway. Just a little longer.
[ He walks to the water, kneels down and washes the dried blood from his hands. Then, carefully, he cups them and gets to his feet and coming back to Eddie, holding as much water as he can between his hands. He holds them up so Eddie can take a sip. It's not much, but it's the best he can do. ]
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It just happens? You don't...don't know what triggers it?
[Tilting his head, Eddie glances over at him, and then suddenly Cisco is speaking in a rush, his voice tight and urgent and with a slight hint of hysteria, as he asks Eddie not to tell, says he doesn't want anyone to know.]
Hey, hey...it's okay Cisco. I promise I won't tell
[He's about to continue speaking when Cisco stops them, helps Eddie sit down on a fallen tree, and he presses his hand to his chest, wincing, face pale as he looks up at Cisco. The water is a bit of a surprise, but Eddie drinks it despite feeling like drinking from a stream might not be a great idea - he's too thirsty to turn it down. Rubbing the back of his hand against his face, he pins Cisco with a serious expression.]
I'm not sure why you want to hide it. There are a lot of people with powers here, who can do things regular humans like me can't. Maybe someone could help you get control of it? But...but I get it. That has to be on your time. I'm not going to tell anyone but...just think about it, you know? About getting some help with it? And if you don't want to go to someone else, maybe I can help, somehow.
[A moment, and he exhales haltingly.]
But...real talk. I don't...think I can keep going. I think I'm just going to sit down under this tree and maybe you can bring the search and rescue back?
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Maybe it's the smart strategy, but everything in him recoils from the idea. He can't leave Eddie here. He just can't. ]
No. No. Eddie, you gotta keep going. I'm not gonna leave you here, okay? Not happening. Now, come on. We're doing this.
[ He wipes the excess water from his hands and then he is wrapping an arm around Eddie's back and hauling him to his feet, whether he likes it or not. He'll keep going. He has to keep going. They have to get to safety, now. They've come too far to lose. Their progress is more halting, and wobbly, and Cisco can hear the pain in every one of Eddie's breaths. And it's like he can feel it, too. He knows it's psychosomatic, some kind of stress-response empathy thing, but it actually hurts, knowing how much pain Eddie's in.
Cisco's almost carrying him, after a while, and starts talking again just to keep himself going, not really sure how much of it Eddie is even going to hear, in his current state. ]
It's not about. Needing time. I wish I didn't have these powers.
[ Cisco's arms and shoulders are really feeling the strain of Eddie's weight, but oddly enough, it makes it easier to tear the words out, the ones he hasn't really dared to say before. They come out ragged, bitter, and painful: ]
And it's not about. Having powers. It's... these powers. In this way. Dr. Wells said these powers were his gift. To me. That he changed me, and now, they're my destiny. And so basically, he made my destiny. And he said whenever I use them. I should remember him and. That my powers, which are this key to- to who I am, and my whole life from now on. Come from him. And from his- his love.
[ It's a tangled, repetitive jumble, and Cisco can barely get that last word out. ]
So I don't want people to know about them. I don't want them to be a part of me. Because I don't want him to be a part of me.
[ He'd never said it quite like that before, never realized with the clarity he feels at that moment just how intensely linked are his antipathy for his powers and his revulsion at the ways he had been shaped as a person by Harrison Wells. Cisco can feel his legs shaking, and then, as if on cue, one of his knees buckles beneath him. Cisco manages to catch himself and not fall, but it's a near thing. ]
Fuck!
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At first, Eddie is quiet because he's focusing on keeping himself going, his body moving almost on instinct, all vertigo and momentum, but then he's quiet because Cisco is talking again. Explaining what it is that makes him hate his powers. And finally, Eddie gets it, he understands why Cisco would be afraid of his powers, why he'd keep them a secret. Because of Eobard, because Eobard ruined everything good in all the lives he'd touched; in Barry's, in Eddie's, and now in Cisco's too. The wave of combined shame and guilt and raw anger is almost a little dizzying, nauseating, and Eddie makes a soft noise in his throat, eyes on the ground.
He doesn't know what to say. How can he apologize for this? How can he make it right, that his descendant had destroyed something that Cisco should, for all intents and purposes, been so excited about. For a moment, all of it flashes through Eddie's head, Cisco in the Labs, discovering his abilities early on, all on his own, before the erased timeline, with something positive instead of something so incredibly awful. How his face would've lit up, how he'd have trained beside Barry, his best friend, fought crime, how natural it would've been for him.
Eddie's throat feels choked up, he can barely breathe, his vision is blurry with tears, and he feels a little bit like he's going to throw up. And then Cisco pitches forward, manages to catch himself, but Eddie keeps going, crumples to the ground and hisses in pain as he sits there on his knees, arms coming up around his chest. It takes a few moments, but then he speaks, his voice tight and hard.]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry he did that to you. I'm sorry he made it all about...all about him. He did that to me too, you know? When he kidnapped me. I was nothing but his ancestor, the only point of my whole life was procreating so he could exist. That's what he does. He makes it all about him.
[Struggling to keep his composure, he sits on his haunches, catching his breath despite the sharp pain in his ribs, and looks up at Cisco. It's good, that they're still. He needs a break, and so does Cisco, and he needs to be looking at him when he explains it.]
It's easy to believe him. He's from the future. He knows how things turn out. And he has this way of looking at you and making you think it really is all about him. But it's not, Cisco. You hear me? You saved me today, you're a goddamn hero. It's not about him. Not you, not your powers, not your destiny.
[For a moment, he's quiet, and then he speaks again, his voice firmer, even though it hurts, every word hurts to say.]
I think I proved that, when I shot myself. It's not all about him. If my destiny wasn't about him, yours sure as hell isn't either. You choose. You do. It's only about him if you make it about him, Cisco.
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[ It's startling; Cisco had never thought of Eddie as someone who really knew Dr. Wells, who had ever had cause to spend any amount of time around him. But of course, that's wrong, isn't it? There had been all that time when he had Eddie captive, and of course, he must have spent some of that time in Eddie's presence, even while he finished up the repairs he was doing to the particle accelerator.
And the way Eddie put it rings true. Because he's right. Dr. Wells had always been like that, even before he showed his true colors. He'd been good at making it all about him - with Cisco he'd done it so carefully and so gradually he had never even noticed it happening, until S.T.A.R. Labs was the center of his world and Dr. Wells was someone he was completely devoted to. And then, when he'd killed Cisco, it was like a switch being flipped, and he'd gone from being someone Cisco loved to his worst nightmare all at once. But one thing he had never been was insignificant, or irrelevant. ]
Yeah... yeah he did.
[ Cisco stays there, swaying a little, doubled over and catching his breath, close enough that his leg is pressed up against Eddie's shoulder. What strikes him most is not the words themselves so much as the passion in Eddie's voice as he says them. The simplicity, the conviction, the utter lack of pretense or cynicism or fear. Cisco doesn't think he's a hero. He doesn't think it's as easy as all that - that he can just decide he's good and his powers are good and that his destiny is his own. But what he is sure of is that Eddie Thawne is a good man. Even now, in this awful situation, in pain and exhausted and all of it Cisco's fault, he still thinks like this. Still is willing to spend his energy trying to make Cisco feel better. ]
Maybe.
[ He wants so badly to believe what Eddie says is true. But it's all so big, so confusing, and his head is really starting to ache. He doesn't know if that's from exhaustion, or dehydration, or an aftereffect of his powers. But either way, he's caught his breath, and he pulls Eddie up to his feet, the muscles of his arms aching. If they survive he is going to be very sore. ]
If it's my choice.... I choose. Not letting you die in this stupid forest. Come on. Just lean on me, okay? I can take it. Just keep going.
[ They are both of them too tired to talk, when they get moving again. Cisco's breaths are loud and ragged with exhaustion, and he hangs his head forward, just watching where he puts his feet, just keeping going. He looks up every few minutes to check he's going in the right direction, and when he does and sees the walls, his heart leaps. ]
Eddie- !
[ He isn't sure Eddie hears him - he looks like he might be pretty out of it. A few more paces takes them within shouting distance, and Cisco is shocked by how thin and pathetic his voice sounds as he calls, as loudly as he can: ]
Help! Somebody help! Help us!
[ By the time he tries calling a second time, some people are rushing towards them, and Cisco laughs breathlessly in relief. Two of them are carrying a stretcher, and the moment they get Eddie onto it, Cisco's legs buckle and he topples down. It's embarrassing, but once some of the others pull him to his feet he insists he can stand on his own: ]
Just- just show me where you're taking him. I gotta make sure he's okay. He lost a lotta blood...
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That's fine. It's more than Eddie had been expecting, so he manages a wan smile as he struggles to his feet, leans on Cisco, and they keep moving.]
Thanks, Cisco...
[It's a little slurred, but he offers a weak smile, and then they're going again, and it takes all of Eddie's concentration to keep moving. He's aware, in a vague way, of how Cisco stumbles, of his breathing, of how tired he is, of the fact his own body is moving on auto-pilot, on sheer instinct and momentum, while blood keeps oozing out of the slashes on his chest, the strips of T-shirt bound across it soaked through. He can feel hot drips sliding down his belly, soaking into the waistband of his jeans, can feel the sharp grinding pain in his ribs with every breath. But he keeps his focus on the sound of Cisco's breathing, puts one foot in front of the other, and keeps moving. Moving. Moving.
The pattern of pain surges in his chest and drips of blood sliding down his belly and Cisco's breathing is the only thing that marks time passing for him, he only vaguely hears his name, in a sort of far-off way, and despite the heat, despite how sweaty he is, his face dripping with it, he's shivering, feels cold and a little outside himself. Somewhere, far away, he hears Cisco shout for help, and then he's crumpling and it's soft under him, and the moment he lies down, Eddie is gone.
What feels like a few seconds later, he starts to come back to awareness - warm and hazy, on his back with a blanket draped across his legs and belly, his head slowly throbbing and his connection with his body a little disjointed. It's like he's floating above himself, and it takes a few slow moments to work through his brain that he recognizes the feeling as being high off painkillers, remembers it from when he'd been shot by Tockman, from when he'd arrived in Riverview and woken up after a few days of sleep, instead of never waking up the way he'd anticipated.
Eddie groans softly, and only then realizes how dry his mouth and throat are, and how hard it is to breathe, the slight sounds of people moving in the hospital room. Slowly, his eyes slide open, and he groggily looks around, first to his left, where he sees the IV wire snaking from a bag of clear liquid. After a few moments of staring at it like he doesn't know what it is, he turns his head the other way, and is surprised to see Cisco there. Blue eyes widening, he swallows a few times, then speaks in a raspy voice.]
Cisco?
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So Cisco had done that; he'd gone back to the communal housing, showering and throwing on clean clothes completely on autopilot. He grabbed a bag of candy on the way out, for sustenance, and showed up to the hospital once again. By that time, Eddie had been moved into a room with a few beds separated by curtains, which meant that Cisco could stay with him and not bother anyone. He sat in the chair right by the bed, ate some of the candy, and went over all of it again in his mind, from the first moment they'd heard the monster right up until they were rescued. And then again. It was hard, convincing himself to shift out of crisis mode.
At some point, exhaustion solved that for him; Cisco leaned over to rest his head against the edge of Eddie's bed, and before he knew it he'd fallen into a shallow, fitful sleep. The moment that Eddie says his name he sits back up, startled but still half-asleep. ]
Wh-
[ He's disoriented for a few seconds; he hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep, but the light in the room is different and his head aches a little. But he tucks his hair back out of his face and manages a small smile. ]
Hey, Eddie, you're awake.
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There's no denying the incredible relief about not waking up alone in the hospital, cold and scared, and he exhales slow and measured, nodding a bit and then wincing.]
Yeah. Kinda dying of thirst, but...
[He licks his lips, his eyes warm and bright, and lifts his hand, shaky, to rest over one of Cisco's on the side of the bed, wanting contact with another human being.]
I'm awake. Alive. Thanks to you.
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I was really worried you weren't gonna make it, that last mile or so.
[ He doesn't know how much of that Eddie had been entirely conscious for. Cisco swallows, flipping his hand over so he can hold Eddie's hand, sitting back down, but at the edge of his seat. ]
They all acted like I was making a big deal out of nothing. But I think working in a hospital they're probably so used to this shit they lose perspective, y'know? Anyway, the nurse said you could probably leave in a day or two, if you wanted. Lemme get you some water, okay?
[ Cisco squeezes Eddie's hand, leaving the room to get him something to drink and tell a nurse that he's woken up again, in case they need to know that. He comes back a moment later with a little styrofoam cup with a purple bendy straw, which he holds out for Eddie, saying:]
Here. You should probably try to stay still, they had to stitch you up a bit.
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Yeah...I was too.
[It's soft, mumbled a little, and he tilts his head, looking up at Cisco.]
I just kept listening to you breathing, and my body moved on its own. You know? And it probably wasn't...wasn't that big of a deal, compared to what they see every day.
[When Cisco squeezes his hand and then leaves, Eddie perseveres through it, his lips pressed hard together, his teeth closing on one of them, doesn't realize how tense he is until Cisco comes back and suddenly he's melting into the bed. The water tastes like heaven when Cisco brings the cup close to his mouth and he shakily takes it, closes his lips around the straw. For a few moments, he just drinks, until the cup is empty, and then he relaxes back against the pillow.]
Purple's my favourite colour...
[It's mumbled out, he's aware that it's stupid, but it comes out anyway, and he does know this feeling, high off painkillers. Unable to stop himself from saying dumb things.]
Thanks, though. For being here. I really hate being alone in the hospital...
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But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Eddie lived and he'll be okay. Cisco tries to shove those awful thoughts away from his mind. ]
It was sure as hell a big deal to me.
[ After he comes back, he holds the cup steady, patient as Eddie drinks it all. It's pretty clear he's a little dopey, from the way he just proclaims that purple is his favorite color, and Cisco doesn't even get what prompted it for a moment before he notices the color of the straw. But he has to smile, then. He's glad Eddie's got enough painkillers that he's happy and blurting out silly cute things that enter into his mind. ]
Really? I would've thought blue, I feel like whenever I see you you're usually wearing blue.
[ Cisco pulls the chair a little closer to the bed and, after a moment of obvious indecision and deliberation, slips his hand easily back into Eddie's. Maybe it's a bit sappy and possibly crossing some kind of boundary, but Cisco is still riding high on the "holy shit I can't believe you're not dead, thank god" wave. ]
I guess it must get pretty boring, huh?
[ The way he says it makes it pretty obvious it's not something he's ever experienced for himself. ]
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Funnily, he hadn't even really realized that that was a pattern in his life until he'd started hanging around with Cisco here, and Cisco hadn't done it. There's something very affecting about the blunt way Cisco says that Eddie being hurt was a big deal to him. It's a relief to have the water to drink, that he can buy himself the time to formulate a response to Cisco. When he's done and Cisco puts the cup away, Eddie clears his throat, relaxes a bit more, then exhales softly.]
Thanks. I mean. I'm glad it was a big deal to someone, I guess.
[He's avoiding eye contact when he says it, and so he doesn't notice the hesitation before Cisco takes his hand again, and it startles him a little, the contact. Turning his head, he blinks down at their hands, curled up together on the bed, and then smiles, squeezing Cisco's gently.]
Ah, yeah. I mean. I look better in blue. And you have to use purple sparingly, or at least that's what the guys in high school told me.
[Eddie cracks a tiny grin, sliding his thumb idly across Cisco's knuckles and the side of his hand. When Cisco asks if the hospital is boring alone, Eddie's expression falls, he licks his lips and sighs softly, lashes shading his eyes.]
Not really, I mean. They have TV. It's more that there's a lot of bad memories around being in the hospital, you know? Like when I first arrived and everything.
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I don't do sparingly. Like, as a rule. And I have another rule that if there's anything guys at high school told me not to do, I should definitely do it as much as physically possible.
[ Spite is a pretty powerful motivator, and that kind of attitude was what had led Cisco to break free from dressing and acting the way he thought other people would like best, and to actually find his own style and flair. ]
Have you really never seen my bright purple pants? I was so psyched when I found those. It's too bad you're tall, or I'd totally loan 'em to you. And let's be real here, I don't think they've invented the color that wouldn't look good on you.
[ And, oh, he didn't think that through before he said it. Cisco feels his face going very hot, and suddenly gets very interested at looking around at the curtains and also the IV bag and basically everything that's not Eddie. They've been getting to be better friends, and opening up to each other about some things, but until now Cisco's managed to avoid even alluding to the obvious fact that Eddie is a gorgeous specimen of a human being and he has the eyes to see it. Honestly, the whole thing would probably stand out less if he just owned it, played it up as a joke, but he's way too embarrassed for that.
So it's fortunate, in a way, that Eddie changes the subject. Even if what he changes it to makes Cisco's heart sink a little in his chest. He can't imagine what that must have been like; being here all on his own, away from his world, away from his whole life. Cisco's hand tightens in Eddie's, unconsciously. His voice is a little lower as he says: ]
That must've been really awful.
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[Eddie says it fondly, in response to Cisco saying he 'doesn't do sparingly' and honestly, that's a very good way of phrasing it. It's not just about colours or clothing either, it's about everything - supporting heroes, pop culture, mechanical engineering, caring - he's passionate about everything in his life. It's really appealing for someone like Eddie, who's ambitious but making the attempt to fit in, to be someone who doesn't stand out unless it's in a good way, who wants to fade into the background unless he's excelling. To Eddie, Cisco seems beyond brave, courageous, and he smiles a little as he says that he tries to do anything that the guys in his high school told him not to do as much as possible.]
Mmm, you're right. You really don't do anything sparingly. I think that'll make you a great superhero, you know? When you train and get confident and really go all out. You're gonna be great.
[Eddie smiles at him, and it doesn't register that that wasn't something he normally would've said out loud, just something he'd have thought and left unsaid, too afraid of whether it might have a negative effect when he didn't mean it to. After all, he knows that Cisco's feelings about his powers are connected to his relationship with Eobard. After a moment, though, it registers that Cisco had said that there isn't a colour that wouldn't look good on him, and he laughs, abruptly.]
Oh come on. There's no colour that wouldn't look good on you. I mean, I've seen you wear all of them and you looked good in all of them, so.
[He shrugs a little, smiling still, as he looks up at Cisco, too high on painkillers to notice how Cisco's cheeks have gone a shade pinker. He does, however, notice that Cisco is avoiding eye contact, but he doesn't realize why. Instead, he squeezes his hand, gently.]
I'm sorry if I shouldn't have said you're gonna be a great superhero. I just think you would be if you did it, you know? I'm sorry if I shouldn't have said it, I'm really high.
[He licks his lips, expression softening a bit.]
Yeah it was pretty bad...I was really lonely, you know? It didn't feel real. I thought maybe I was wrong about not believing in the afterlife. But I mean. I was okay.
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Uhhh, not true. You've never seen me wear orange, and you're never gonna see me wear orange, because it's just- it's a disaster, trust me.
[ Eddie's certainty that Cisco is going to be a superhero - and a great one - is startling. Cisco doesn't even know what to say to it. The thought had honestly never crossed his mind. Sure, working with superheroes is his thing. And yeah, okay, so maybe he has powers that could be useful now and then, in a really bad crisis. But him? Cisco Ramon? A superhero?
He only has a little while to think about it, and it's still churning around in his head when Eddie apologizes, and Cisco shushes him, smiling to show that it's okay, that he hasn't offended Cisco. Just... confused him. ]
Hey, don't worry about it, okay? You just relax and ramble all you want while they've got you on the good stuff. Mind if I get out my phone and record some of this?
[ Cisco is clowning around, fake-innocent, trying to get Eddie to laugh. He even fake-reaches for his pocket, as if he's about to take a video of Eddie, but he doesn't complete the motion, breaking off into a grin instead.
He wants to make Eddie happy, this time, because he can picture it all too easily; Eddie disoriented, Eddie lonely, Eddie in the quiet of a hospital room not knowing what his future could possibly hold and grappling with his death. ]
Well, I'll stay and keep you company this time. I promise, I'm not going anywhere.
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I look terrible in orange too. Believe me.
[It's only after he says it that what Cisco said earlier and the context and the reaction registers in his brain, and abruptly he's laughing, his cheeks going a bit red. Cisco's saying that he should relax and ramble and something about recording, and Eddie just laughs, abrupt and a little breathless and light-headed.]
Oh my god. Did you just call me hot?
[His eyes are bright as he squeezes Cisco's hand, and he laughs again.]
Whoa, if you did, does that mean I called you hot back?
[An innocently mischievous little grin, and he tilts his head back, the smile softening but staying in place as Cisco promises not to go anywhere.]
Oh, good, I'm really not feeling like I want to be alone right now. I think this high would be really bad if I didn't have someone around making me laugh.
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I- what I meant was- look- I mean, obviously... but-
[ Nope, this is really just digging himself into a deeper hole. Cisco stops trying, shaking his head back and forth and smiling from ear to ear. And as embarrassing as all this is, it's just so good that Eddie's alive and okay. So Cisco gives up, shrugs, and says with a laugh: ]
Okay, you caught me. I may have made the observation that you are a handsome dude, who could definitely pull off some purple if he wanted to.
[ It's good to see Eddie's eyes sparkling with amusement, to see the color in his face. He'd gotten so pale, back in the woods. Way too pale. He looks much better with some pink in his cheeks. ]
And you don't have to worry, I'll let it slide. I mean you are on pain meds, I just didn't know they affected your vision, too!
[ And Cisco waves his free hand in front of Eddie's face, a foot or so away, as if to indicate he's having trouble seeing and that is the reason he said Cisco looks good in all colors, too. A joke, as if that's the only explanation for why Eddie might say something so flagrantly inaccurate. ]
So it works out perfectly. Just got don't rip your stitches or anything. I mean it'd be pretty impressive if I could say I made a dude laugh so hard he actually started to bleed, but I'm pretty sure the nurses wouldn't be too happy. So... did I ever tell you about the time I tried to make Barry's suit bulletproof?
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Come on. I can see perfectly fine. 20/20 vision, good enough to tell that you are definitely a handsome dude yourself, and you have the extra bonus of really fantastic hair. Like. Really good hair.
[Eddie grins at him, tilting his head against the pillow and humming a bit.]
I think my stitches are fine. My ribs are a little sore though.
[The story is fun, something he's never heard before, and the way Cisco tells it, his expression and voice and eyebrows all animated, energetic, seems to fill the empty space he'd usually be all too aware of in the hospital room. Cisco's good at that, taking up a lot of mental and emotional space in a good way, a way that fills up all the emptiness inside his head, assuages the loneliness. Eddie spends his time laughing until his ribs are sore and he's exhausted, his hand in Cisco's, and he's ready to fall asleep before the pain meds wear off.
It occurs to him that it might be time to take a nap when he dozes off halfway through one of Cisco's stories, vaguely aware of the sound of his voice, if not the shapes it makes, the words formed, and his presence in the room. A few moments into it, he startles slightly, his eyes flick open, and he smiles wanly up at Cisco.]
Sorry. I think...think I'm falling asleep. Didn't mean to. You don't have to hang around with me...if I'm gonna be asleep...
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And Cisco's smile goes even softer when Eddie startles back awake and apologizes for nodding off, as if Cisco couldn't see that that was what was happening before Eddie was even aware of it. There's something so innocent and kind of vulnerable about it, as his blinks grow gradually slower and his head falls to the side a little. Cisco keeps his voice low as he says: ]
Nice try. You're not gonna get rid of me that easy.
[ And then, without missing a beat, cutting Eddie off before he can think to object, Cisco goes right back to telling silly stories and anecdotes, about geeky midnight movie premieres and cosplay and whatever else it takes to lull Eddie into a complete, restful sleep. ]