[semi-open] hurry up now, i need a miracle

[causational]

who: eddie thawne & semi-open
what: Eddie gets caught in a shoot-out and goes to the hospital
when: April 15 and afterward
where: around the quarantine
warnings: gun violence, blood, serious injury



✪ the incident

[It started like any other day, kissing Cisco good-bye while he sleeps in, heading off to work in his patrol car while eating a piece of toast, packed lunch beside him, dressed in his usual neatly-pressed three-piece suit. Nothing particularly notable is supposed to be happening, mostly, he intends to do paperwork and research on an ongoing case, to interview a few suspects. And that's what he does.

Until it hits just after noon and he eats lunch while checking his phone, sends off a quick series of texts to Cisco, smiling at the camera while he chews his sandwich. That's when the call comes over the radio, about a car chase downtown, that two officers are down and they need backup. Glancing around, Eddie notices that the station is close to empty and the call isn't too far away, so he buckles up his gun belt and heads out. The chase is short before the car careens into the side of a skyscraper, there's smoke and flame everywhere, and Eddie drives his car up to join the line of cars being used as cover while one of the perpetrators shoots bolts of electricity at the line of police officers, and another uses an old-fashioned gun.

Everything is a blur of adrenaline and fear and focus, Eddie draws his gun, he uses his powers to shield over and over to protect his fellow officers, and when a couple of the officers at the front get hit with a burst of electricity, tumbling to the ground, Eddie bolts out without thinking. It seems to happen in slow motion - the second bolt of electricity flies at him while he fights exhaustion to get his shield back up, the electricity hits the shield, and his concentration flickers. The bolt hits him hard, his body tries to absorb it, he jerks and twitches, falls to the ground, overloaded, burning hot, nose bloody.

It takes a moment to start moving again, he becomes aware that one of the officers is still down while the other staggers back to the line of cars. Pushing himself up onto his knees, he coughs out a mouthful of blood, and starts to stand.

And then the bullet hits him in the side.

For a moment, everything goes still and silent. Eddie has been shot before, in the chest, he's felt the bullet penetrate his body, felt the damage it did, struggled to cling to life. But that was a choice he made, he was prepared, and this is different. It enters from the side, hits him like a hammer, knocking him over on his side. Curled up on the pavement, he struggles to breathe while the side of his shirt and suit jacket get hot and wet and the rest of him gets cold, so cold...

The last thing he sees before everything goes dark is a blurry view of the line of police officers behind him, shouting his name, shouting something he can't hear...]

OOC: Drop a starter or message me for a starter if you'd like your character to be involved in this in any way. Any of Eddie's CR (close or not) is welcome to drop a hospital visit thread in here or ask me for one!

Comments

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco's been trying, recently, to listen to his gut. To listen to his own intuition, even if he doesn't understand why or from where certain ideas and feelings are coming. Yet, despite the fact that all that morning and early afternoon, there is a knot in his stomach that won't go away, he doesn't really expect disaster. He writes it off as the lingering effects of a bad night's sleep, as distraction from his work, as a dozen things.

Until his phone rings. Not a text, not a personalized ringtone that he'd programmed in for one of his friends; just a plain, startling, standard ring. He answers it, and on the other end is a polite but busy woman working at the hospital, letting him know they'd admitted someone to the ER with him listed as their emergency contact. When she says Eddie's name, that he was admitted with a gunshot wound and is in surgery, the world shifts, becomes at once surreal, slow. She tells him the facts - that Eddie's in surgery, that the hospital is willing to contact him at this same number when there are any developments.

Cisco is overcome with the kind of detached calm that only comes in times of absolute crisis. He thanks the woman for the call, tells her that there is no need to keep in contact by phone, since he will be heading over immediately. His heart is racing, but he is quick and efficient, saving and closing up the programming he'd been working on, getting his keys and locking the workshop on the way out. He hails a cab, sits stunned in the back watching the city passing by outside the windows. It takes longer than he'd expected; traffic is a snarl of detours and honking horns. The driver, seeming embarrassed, explains: ]

No avoiding it. Big ruckus here I guess. Car chase, some idiots getting in a big shootout with the cops, like they think they're the stars of GTA: Quarantine.

[ Normally, Cisco would be delighted to meet someone who made Grand Theft Auto jokes here. But rather than acknowledge it, or engage in conversation, he just says, a little hollowly: ]

I know.

[ Cisco vaguely hears the driver asking questions, after that, but they go in one ear and out the other. He doesn't answer, just looks out at the blocked-off area as the traffic crawls by. He sees police cars, flashing lights. Smoke. It feels like a dream.

Things fade even more into a blur after that. Somehow, he navigates through it; pays for the taxi, gives Eddie's name at the front desk and is directed to a brightly-lit waiting area. It's a while before he gets a chance to flag down a harried-looking nurse and ask if there's any news about Eddie. The nurse hands the question off to someone else, who makes a call, tells Cisco that he's in surgery, and is going to be for some time.

The waiting isn't agonizing, for the most part. Agony is sharp, purposeful, simple. Instead, it is boring, and stressful, and endless. Cisco sits there for hours, stunned, mind an awful blank. Normally he can't stand idleness, has to always be chatting or reading or working on something, dreaming up some invention or design. But his brain can't focus on anything for more than a few seconds. He looks up every time he sees a nurse's legs walking by, and the hours slip away, awful in a dull, confused, horrible way.

After an eternity or two, a doctor finally comes up to Cisco, tells him that Eddie is going to make it, but that it was a close call. Things start being real again, then. The doctor explains that Eddie will be in recovery for a few more hours, that no, he isn't allowed to have visitors during that time. No, not even family or lovers. It will be a while before he's settled in a room and can have people around.

So Cisco goes back to waiting; this time, though, it's waiting with a purpose. He researches the news coverage of the incident, reading and rereading all the reports. He calls the station, grills them for every bit of information he can get. The people responsible had been taken out - small comfort - and the situation was being dealt with. All told, only one officer had died. Cisco feels a surge of intense relief, that it hadn't been Eddie. He could feel guilty about that relief, later, but for now, he is just glad it was someone else.

By the time he is allowed into the room where Eddie is resting, Cisco is feeling both jittery and exhausted. He pulls up a chair next to Eddie's bed, being quiet, not wanting to wake him up. The nurse said it still might be a little while, before Eddie is conscious. His face looks pale, against the pillows, and there are an intimidating number of machines hooked up to him, their displays all beeping away.

He can't keep it up much longer, he knows. This not feeling anything. That feeling of suspension, of unrealness, had gotten him through those first few hours. But now that everything is settling down... now that he can see Eddie's face, his stubble standing out too much because of how wan his skin is... Cisco can feel the horror of it all building up inside him, slowly. All of that horror will need to come out, sooner or later. But for now, he just sits, dully texting everyone who needs texting, giving them the basics. Eddie, shot. Eddie, going to make it. At the hospital. No idea when he's going to be released. Doing okay, thanks. No, nothing to be done to help. ]

[causational]

[Eddie can remember bits of his trip to the hospital, in flashes. He can remember pain and cold, an EMT's face as he cuts open the side of Eddie's suit jacket and dress shirt, remembers the searing pain in his side, remembers crying out but hearing nothing but a gagging wheeze, bubbling, and the taste of blood. But more than anything, he remembers the agonizing, stifling inability to breathe, the effort he puts into sucking breath into himself and getting nothing from it.

Everything is in flashes because he'd kept passing out, kept drifting in and out of consciousness - out when he couldn't handle the sensation like an elephant sitting on his chest while someone drives an icepick into his side coupled with the feeling of what is certainly broken ribs; in when someone shouts at him, a voice yelling for him to 'stay with us, come on.'

Stay with us.

Cisco's face flashes in his mind.

Eddie doesn't pass out after that, he forces his eyes open, he forces himself to endure, to push through, because the moment he starts drifting out, he's afraid he won't wake up, and he can't. He can't do that. This is his second chance. People need him. Cisco needs him. He doesn't sleep again until they're putting him under for surgery.

After that, he's not aware of anything, and he drifts back into consciousness bit by bit, lashes fluttering a bit, lips parting. He can hear, vaguely, the beeping and whirring of machinery, the slight shuffling of someone nearby. He can feel the dull pain, though it feels far away, his mind feels sluggish and he isn't sure if he'd be able to move if he tried, everything feels like it's hazy, like the air is thick as liquid, like being submerged in a warm tub full of water. His mouth feels dry, though, and he licks his lips, a little agitated by it.]

Nnn...

[It comes out in a sort of gurgle, rough and raspy, and his eyes flutter open, he can see a shadow beside him and turns his head a little, wincing a bit as the tube in his nose that's stuck down the back of his throat through his sinus tugs a bit.

But then he sees him. Cisco. Looking beautiful and perfect and so, so worried and tired. Eddie can't help but smile.]

Hey... [His voice cracks, and he clears his throat, swallows a few times before carrying on still smiling, muzzy and hazy.] Hey babe...

[franciscoramon]

[ Even as he is waiting, sending out those texts, half of Cisco's attention remains trained on Eddie, monitoring for any change. He can't let himself relax, yet. There could be complications. Surgery is dangerous. Getting shot is dangerous. It's not simple. It's not over, not really.

So he notices, when Eddie begins to stir. His breathing changes, and he stirs a little in the bed. Cisco puts down his phone and waits as Eddie begins blinking, eyes opening. He sees that little brow-furrow of pain as Eddie turns his head, and he says: ]

Shh, it's okay, stay still, don't move-

[ He waits to see if Eddie will stay conscious; for a moment or two he's not certain, but then Eddie's eyes seem to focus on him, and he... smiles. Says 'hey', like they just ran into each other on the sky train. Like nothing at all has happened. Just 'hey', and the moment Cisco hears Eddie's voice, he breaks down.

Cisco hadn't realized how close he was to tears, how little it would take to crack him open. His face crumples in an instant and his breaths go shivery, hiccupy with sobs. He tries to stop, to hold himself back, but all the chaos and stress and terror of the day have built up and built up inside him. The tears spilling from his eyes are too hot, and he doesn't even bother trying to wipe them from his cheeks. He just bows his head, hair falling like a curtain around his face, as he sobs.

He wants to throw himself on the bed and hold Eddie, squeeze him so tightly that nothing in the universe could pry them apart. But he knows, had been told very sternly by doctors and nurses alike, that he isn't allowed to try to hug Eddie. That he could injure him very badly, and that Eddie's supposed to remain as still as possible. So Cisco stays where he is, hands knitted together in his lap so tightly that his knuckles are white, crying his heart out. ]

[causational]

[The first thing Cisco does is tell him that it's okay, tell him to stay still, and the worry is there, stronger than ever. Eddie's brows furrow as he watches him, his throat feeling tight with emotion, and when Cisco's face crumples and he starts to gulp for air, shaking and shivering and hiccuping with sobs.

There's nothing Eddie wants more in the world than to sit up and gather him up into his arms, hold him tight. But he can't move, that much he can tell - a little, but not that much. His hand, maybe, his legs, but not his whole torso. He can tell, in an abstract way, through the muzzy haze of drugs, that if he did that, the pain would overwhelm him, he'd probably pass out again, he's aware of the steady sharp thrum of pain in his side, suspects he has broken ribs, remembers the gagging and struggle to breathe, expects something happened to his lungs. So he knows he can't move, lean forward to hug Cisco.

But there's something intensely painful about the way Cisco twists his hands together, grips them together so hard his hands go white and he cries, his head down.]

Cisco, baby, please... [His voice is raspy, his breath stutters and he manages to restrain himself from coughing.] Baby please, please don't worry. Baby, please, hold my hand. I'm gonna be fine, I'm sorry you worried so much.

[He tries, then, to slide his hand over, toward the edge of the bed. It's hard work, it feels like trying to slide his hand through molasses, he feels uncoordinated and wrong and it pulls at his IV, but he moves it anyway. Because he needs this. He needs to touch Cisco.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Even as he sobs, Cisco knows how wrong this is. He needs to be strong, needs to be reassuring Eddie, offering him comfort, not vice versa. Eddie was the one hurt, not him. The one who had bled so much, who had almost died, again. Cisco keeps seeing it every time he closes his eyes. Eddie, bleeding out on the ground, shot. Eddie dying of a gunshot. It was so much harder, waiting in that horrible room while Eddie was in surgery, knowing what it looked like when he died.

When Eddie talks, calls him 'baby' over and over like that, telling him not to worry, apologizing, Cisco makes a small whimpering noise of protest, shaking his head. It's all wrong.

But he relaxes his grip, reaches out to take Eddie's hand between his own. It feels colder than it should, although some of that must be just his imagination. Cisco holds Eddie's hand so gently, as if it were made out of tissue paper. He doesn't want to upset the IV, doesn't want to hurt Eddie any more than he already has been.

Cisco's voice is cracked when he manages to say: ]

I thought-

[ He doesn't finish that sentence. But then, does he really need to? They both must know what he'd thought. He'd thought Eddie would die, be gone forever. Scooting his chair closer, Cisco curls forward, letting his forehead come down to touch Eddie's hand, careful not to jostle the IV. His back continues to shake with sobs, horrible and strangely childish in their utter sincerity.

How could Eddie tell him not to worry? This wasn't some phantom conjured up by his paranoia, his overactive imagination. Eddie had almost died. Eddie so easily could have died, and today would have been different - the rest of Cisco's life would have been irrevocably different. ]

[causational]

[The thing is, Eddie has been shot before, he's died before, he's woken up in this hospital after a fatal injury before. This is something he knows, this is something that he can tolerate and deal with, but he knows how easily hurt Cisco is. How much he worries because he cares so much. This would be bad enough if it were a friend of Cisco's - how much worse it must have been for him, with Eddie being the one injured. It feels wrong, somehow, self-centered, but Eddie knows how much Cisco loves him, it's been shown to him in a million different ways over the time they've been together, and with all that emotion, all that care, how could Cisco not be falling apart?

Physical wounding, in Eddie's opinion, is much less painful than emotional, especially with someone like Cisco, who is so gentle, so kind.

When Cisco takes his hand, he shifts it, turns it and curls his fingers around Cisco's, holding his hand and then, when Cisco leans down and rests his head against Eddie's hand, he curls his fingers, strokes them against Cisco's warm skin.]

I know baby, I know. I'm not... [He takes a breath and it's hitched and painful, he squeezes his eyes shut and keeps speaking, voice a little raspy.] I'm not going anywhere, Cisco. Okay? I'm not going to leave you.

[Exhaling again, he wrinkles his nose, turns his head a bit more.]

I love you so much. I want... [Another slightly pained breath, but he smiles, and the smile is obvious in the tone of his voice.] I want to hold you.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco lets out a particularly harsh sob, when Eddie says I'm not going to leave you, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain. The relief hurts almost as much as all that worry and terror had, for all those hours he'd been waiting. It hurts, loving Eddie this much, knowing how close he came to losing him. Sure, Eddie wouldn't chose to leave him. But it might not always be up to him.

The torrent of emotion is beginning to ease up, however, and Cisco manages to catch his breath, hiccupy and shuddery though it still is. He sniffles, kissing Eddie's hand before sitting up again, face wet with tears and rather red. He keeps Eddie's hand between his own, and says, croakily: ]

I love you. I wish I could, but I can't, 'cause... if I d-did the doc would k-kill me and that would just be way too ironic.

[ Cisco laughs, only it's still mostly a sob; he wipes his cheeks on the sleeve of his shirt, not caring one bit about manners right now. Eddie's hand is in his, moving a little - not much, but just enough to show he's really there, really alive. It's not the same as holding Eddie would be, but it is better than nothing.

Swallowing, Cisco sighs, a long, deliberate exhale. ]

It was really close, Eddie. You got hurt really bad.

[causational]

[Eddie's eyes stay on Cisco - he's dizzy, his head feels like it's spinning, the room seems like it's spinning, he feels strangely emotional. Last time, he'd been laughing and giggling, loopy and stupid; this time he feels like all he wants in the world is to curl up against Cisco's side, lie his head on his shoulder and rest. Sleep.

But he isn't going to sleep.

When Cisco catches his breath and rubs at his eyes, kisses his hand, Eddie smiles again, eyes following his boyfriend as he speaks and says that he wishes Eddie could hold him. Licking his lips, he tilts his head back a bit, makes a slight face at the tug of the tube down his throat, and speaks, voice a little croaky still (he's thirsty, but that doesn't matter right now, and he has no desire to actually drink).]

Could you...would it be uncomfortable to put your head beside mine? On the pillow?

[Pouting a little, he looks up at Cisco's face, studying it, and when Cisco says that, that it was really close, something surfaces in his hazy mind.]

Mmm, it wasn't close. Maybe at first. But then someone said 'stay with me' and I saw your face, and then I didn't pass out again. Not until they put me under. I wanted to see you, Cisco.

[It's simple, probably stupid, phrased horribly, but Eddie knows, in the deepest part of himself, that Cisco had been what motivated him to fight.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco has a feeling that what Eddie's asking for is technically against the rules, and he can almost feel that doctor frowning from wherever he is in the building, but... he's uniquely powerless right now to deny Eddie anything. So he says: ]

No, it wouldn't. As long as you promise to stay still, and don't try to move your body, okay?

[ He moves the chair, pulling it up as close to the bed as possible, and then arranges himself on it in such a way that he can lean over and rest his head on the pillow beside Eddie's, their temples touching. It takes a little while - some arranging of Cisco's limbs, some avoidance of tubes and machines, but they get there, and Cisco closes his eyes. His voice is raw and emotional again, another couple tears slipping out from his closed eyes, as he whispers again, just for good measure: ]

I love you.

[ If Eddie had died... if he hadn't gotten the chance to say that to him ever again...

It's too much, imagining Eddie right after he'd been hurt, being whisked off, bleeding, fighting, clinging onto life as hard as he could. Cisco feels a wave of fear, even though it's passed, even though it is all fine, now. He can't even speak for a moment, the fear that's gripped around his chest is so tight. So he just nods, a small movement that Eddie will be able to feel. ]

I'm gonna stay right here, okay? If you feel like nodding off, that's alright. They said you're gonna be groggy for a while. If you need anything I can- I can get it but, for now I'm just. I'm here, okay?

[causational]

[When Cisco asks him to promise to stay still, to not try to move his body, Eddie feels just one moment of panic. Part of him had assumed that it wasn't as bad as Cisco was making it out to be, that it's been Cisco's fear and his tendency to jump to the worst case scenario that's making him so cautious, so tearful. That it had been all that time alone in the waiting room catastrophizing that had made Cisco think it was that close. But when Cisco says that he has to promise to stay still and not try to move his body, it occurs to him that maybe what happened to him actually was serious enough that it could've been fatal. If he can't move without it being dangerous, then what sort of damage has been done...?

For a moment, he vividly remembers that stifling, agonizing inability to breathe, the taste of blood. It melds together with a memory of dying under STAR Labs, and he shivers a bit, suddenly cold.

Swallowing hard, he watches as Cisco pulls the chair close to the bed, settles down and rests his head on the pillow beside Eddie's. Turning his head, he looks over at his boyfriend, and the panic fades, the fear fades under the haze of medication, and he makes a soft hum, his mouth curving into a slight smile. Rubbing his cheek just a little against the side of Cisco's head, he makes a low humming noise.]

I love you too. And...and I know you're here. I knew you would be. I really am sorry you had to worry so much, that you had to go through it alone...

[Softly, he nuzzles against Cisco again, as much as he can, cherishing the contact desperately, eyes sinking shut.]

I'm...a little thirsty, but...I can drink later. My throat...hurts from the tube. [A pause, and then, quietly.] How bad is it, really?

[franciscoramon]

[ It's good to hear Eddie's apologies - not because he needs to apologize, of course. But because it's such a singularly Eddie thing. Apologizing for how it had hurt Cisco, him nearly being killed by some idiot with a gun. Only Eddie could be that selfless, that annoyingly focused on how other people feel all the time rather than on his own well-being. ]

It's okay, babe.

[ He isn't alone, now. That's what matters. Cisco manages a small smile, when Eddie nuzzles at him. He ought to warn him against doing it, but he'll let it slide, for now. It feels too good, being close to him, even if it's only this tiny bit. ]

I- I should call the nurse. I don't know if you're allowed to have water or if they need to take out the tube.

[ Cisco reaches up, presses the button on Eddie's bed that will summon someone to help them. His stomach sinks a little when Eddie asks, in that quiet, frightened voice how bad it was. The nurse would be able to explain better: details, what Eddie could expect by way of treatment and recovery time. But Cisco doesn't think Eddie's asking for hard medical facts. He wants to know how close the brush with death was. And Cisco knows, as hard as the answer might be, he needs to be honest with Eddie right now. ]

Bad.

[ Cisco clears his throat, softly, thinking about what details the doctor had told him. It's easy enough, to recite them back again. Eddie, and Eddie's body, and the damage that had been done to it, is all he's been thinking about all afternoon, which has seemed to stretch on for years. ]

You got shot twice in the chest. Um. Broken ribs, and the doctor said... the ribs pierced your lung on one side so they had to go in and kind of... rebuild it some. So, one of your lungs collapsed and the other one was on its way to collapsing. Plus you got electrocuted, so...

[ All of that catalogue of hurt doesn't really capture it, though. Doesn't explain the horrible, suffocating fear that has been enveloping Cisco ever since his phone rang. ]

You were in surgery for hours and hours. It was... it was close. They didn't say it, but I could see it. In their faces. The way... they were talking to me, any time I asked.

[causational]

[It doesn't strike him as selfless - Cisco had worried, he had suffered, and he had had to do it without Eddie's support, and quite honestly he wishes he could've been with him, taking care of him. Whenever Cisco is hurting like this, Eddie wants, somehow, to give him comfort, to soothe him, to make things better for him, and it hurts that he wasn't able to do it this time, as senseless as that might seem.

It's a relief to hear Cisco forgive him, say it's okay, instead of just telling him there's no need to apologize or it wasn't his fault. He knows that Cisco is probably thinking it, probably thinks he's ridiculous for apologizing, but...]

Thank you.

[The gratitude is genuine. Not for the forgiveness, per se, but for not arguing with him, for letting him have the apology, for going along with it. Sighing, Eddie closes his eyes and nuzzles against the side of Cisco's head again. When Cisco calls for the nurse, Eddie frowns a bit, because he doesn't want his time with Cisco interrupted...but something tells him he's going to be stuck here for a while, in this bed, and that Cisco won't be leaving him alone.

So he listens quietly while Cisco explains what had happened to him, how bad it had been, how close he'd been to death. It takes his breath away for a few moments, remembers vividly how it had felt to die before, and he shivers again, closes his eyes, ignores the pull of the tube in his throat to press his face against the side of Cisco's head.

He doesn't know what to say, but his eyes suddenly sting and he squeezes them tightly closed against the sudden rush of tears, borne of his own fear and the images in his head of Cisco sitting alone in that room, getting visits from grim doctors and nurses trying not to tell him his boyfriend was in danger of dying.]

I love you. I'm sorry.

[franciscoramon]

[ This time, Cisco feels that shiver go through Eddie. He's on high alert, ready to ask in a moment if Eddie's feeling cold - he might need another blanket, that might be something the doctors should know about... but then Eddie is turning, pressing his face against Cisco's hair, and he thinks that, probably, there was something else behind that shiver. ]

It's okay, baby. Shhhhh. It's okay. Don't be scared. I'm here. You're gonna be okay. Nothing's gonna happen. I got you.

[ He hears the tears in Eddie's voice, stuck in his throat, when he speaks, and it breaks his heart. He reaches up, carefully running his fingertips across Eddie's cheek, brushing away a tear as it slips its way down the side of Eddie's face. A moment later, the nurse comes in, but Cisco doesn't shift a millimeter. The look that he gives her just dares her to tell him to move. ]

He says he's thirsty, and the tube hurts. Does it need to stay in now that he's awake?

[ The nurse tells them that she can remove the tube, and give Eddie a little bit water to drink - not too much, or it might make him nauseous. Cisco is forced to move a little, then, to give her room, but he gives Eddie a brief kiss on the temple before he does, and keeps holding his hand. The nurse navigates around them, adjusting the angle of Eddie's bed and helping him to drink a little water through a straw. Getting the tube out is a little harder. Cisco can tell it's painful, from the way Eddie squeezes his hand a bit tighter. His grip, even then, is still so weak.

Right at that moment, as Eddie's choking a little, right as the nurse removes the tube, Cisco feels a surge of grim satisfaction, knowing that the people who'd done this are dead. And so, when the nurse issues a reminder that Eddie needs to stay still and rest, and then bustles off, Cisco thinks to say: ]

They're both dead. The guys from the shootout. Officer Mathis didn't make it, but everybody else is alright.

[causational]

[It feels better, with Cisco beside him, feeling the warmth of his skin where their faces are pressed close, feeling his breath and the security of how close he is. With the drugs he's on, the situation, the way his body is feeling, everything is surreal and confusing and overwhelming, and Cisco is a source of safety, an intense feeling of security. He can relax, knowing that Cisco is here watching over him, taking care of him.

It's probably why the tears are so hard to hold back, and Cisco does exactly what Eddie had expected him to when he let his fear show, lets himself feel the overwhelming sense of dread at the close call he'd had - he gently touches Eddie's face and wipes away his tears. He speaks to him gently, he promises him that he's gonna be okay, that he's got him.]

Just...don't go anywhere, please? For now? I know you need...work and all but...just for now?

[When the nurse comes in, Eddie lets Cisco talk to her, just watching and blinking blearily, trying to follow the conversation, unable to really hear what the nurse is saying. What he does know is that Cisco managed to get him water when he was thirsty, and he's intensely grateful. It feels like the best thing he's ever had, cold and wet against the dry, sticky inside of his mouth, and he swallows as much as she'll let him. It sits cold in his stomach and he does feel a bit nauseous, but he still wishes she wouldn't have taken it away when she did.

And when she leans over, and Cisco has to move, Eddie's brows furrow a little - Cisco's hand is still in his, and he holds onto it as the nurse says that she's going to take the tube out, and then does so. It hurts, more than he'd expected, the tug deep in his already aching chest, the way it drags over his gag reflex and chokes him, makes his ribcage convulse a little, sending spikes of white-hot pain through him. When he squeezes Cisco's hand, Cisco squeezes back, and the contact feels good, he focuses on it so he can ignore the gagging and pain until the tube is gone, and afterward he's too uncomfortable to notice when the nurse leaves.

He feels a moment of intense guilt for not saying thank you to her, and at first he doesn't hear what Cisco says.]

Cisco...can you tell her thank you? I forgot to...

[And then it hits him. Officer Mathis didn't make it, the guys who attacked him are dead, and his eyes well up with tears, hot and wet, again. It's a little stupid, for that to happen, but he's feeling overwhelmed.]

What...what happened? They got shot too?

[franciscoramon]

Shhhh, shh, don't worry. I ain't leaving this hospital 'til you do. I've got people bringing me clothes and stuff, and checking on the lab, and feeding Shadow and keeping him company. It's all taken care of. Only way I'm leaving the room is if the doctors make me, and if they do, I'll be in the hallway just outside. I'm not gonna leave you.

[ It hurts so much, seeing Eddie like this - confused, helpless, in pain. He's saying something about saying thank you to the nurse, but there's so much urgency in it, which Cisco doesn't understand. Perhaps it's the pain medicine, perhaps it's the whole situation catching up to Eddie. But whatever the source, it's clear that he's distressed. Cisco's worried about him hurting himself, if he cries. But then, he can hardly blame him. He would cry, too, if their places were reversed. Had cried his heart out, just moments before.

Cisco keeps holding Eddie's hand, but uses his other to smooth Eddie's hair back from his face, off his forehead, fingertips brushing through the fine strands in a soothing motion. ]

I'm sorry, Eddie. I don't know the details. I've been here at the hospital since right after they brought you in. Once you were done in surgery, I tried reading the news to figure out what happened, but they're not telling people much. I called the station a couple times but it's pretty chaotic over there.

[ Cisco plucks a tissue from the little stand by the bed, gently wipes the tear tracks from Eddie's face, leaning over the bd to rest their foreheads together, careful not to touch Eddie's body or jostle him. ]

I'll call again later when you're sleeping. Get the whole scoop. Don't worry about it right now, okay? Don't worry about any of it. You're safe now.

[causational]

[Cisco seems to have everything together, and something about that, about the fact that Eddie doesn't have to worry about how things are going at home, about keeping Cisco away from his life, sets him a little more at ease. Lying still, recovering from the removal of the tube with his mouth tasting like coppery blood and mucous. But Cisco won't leave him, won't leave the hospital, has people helping him.

Experimentally, Eddie licks his lips, swallows hard, trying to wet his throat with the moisture still left over in his mouth and trying just as hard to stop the flow of tears. It seems to go on and on, the spill of hot, wet tears down his cheeks, and he's quiet while he rides it out, with Cisco stroking his hair, massaging his scalp while he does it, and Eddie's eyes sink shut until Cisco starts speaking again.

He's not really surprised that Cisco doesn't know the details, and he finds that when Cisco promises to call again to get them for him, he doesn't mind not knowing, all that much. He'd rather retreat, hide in this room with his boyfriend, the man he loves, and let himself heal, let himself figure out how to deal with the emotional fallout before he has to face it.]

It's okay. Maybe...maybe I should just find out when I'm out. I know...I know South was there, I remember her face, but...

[He drifts off, eyes flicking up to Cisco's face as the other man wipes at the tracks of wet on his face.]

I love you. More than anything.

[franciscoramon]

I'll let her tell you, then. They'll probably let you have more visitors tomorrow or the day after. I'll text her, get her to come by.

[ He keeps brushing those tears away, pausing only to tug at the blanket over Eddie, fuss and adjust it so it's covering him completely, snug and keeping him warm while he recovers. In truth, he's happy to leave that task to someone else. Better for her to do it if she saw things first hand. And good for Eddie to know that there are other people who are worried, who might want to see him. ]

I love you more than anything, too.

[ This time, he plants a small kiss on the spot between Eddie's eyebrows, where a little furrow appears any time Eddie is confused or annoyed or thinking hard. A tiny trace of his regular cheer creeps into Cisco's voice as he murmurs: ]

I love you way too much to lose you to some stupid motherfuckers who think they're in an action movie, so you better believe that once you're better, I'ma put you through a training montage the likes of which your brain can't even fathom. Mmkay?

[ Cisco pushes the hair off Eddie's forehead, eyes and nose still red from crying, but he manages a very very small smile. ]

But for now, maybe you should rest. The doctors said it's important. You're still recovering from the anesthesia and everything.
You got a lotta drugs in your system right now. You want... you want me to read you somethin'?

[causational]

Okay.

[Eddie's voice is quiet, as he looks up at Cisco, his eyes wet and red-rimmed. For a moment, he's completely blown away by how beautiful Cisco looks, even exhausted and in shock and with the aftermath of his tears on his face. Cisco's eyes are dark and liquid, his lashes are heavy with dampness, and his lips are soft when he leans in, kisses Eddie's forehead, a thick curtain of dark, wavy hair falling around him. The scent of it fills Eddie with a comfort he couldn't put into words, a simple reassurance that Cisco is here, beside him, saying that he loves him in that soft, warm, trustworthy voice.

When Cisco says he's going to put him through a training montage, and his voice takes on that hint of humour for the first time since Eddie had awakened earlier, Eddie laughs, his voice cracking a little, and he exhales softly. Content. Looking up at Cisco with an expression that is a mix of almost plaintive love, vulnerability, and trust. Licking his lips, he swallows dryly again, and offers a slight smile.]

You better be playing Eye of the Tiger during that montage.

[And then Cisco is saying that he should rest, that he's recovering and there's so many drugs in his system, and when Cisco suggests that he read him something, Eddie is thrilled with the idea. Squeezing at Cisco's hand, weakly, he nods a bit.]

Yeah. Whatever you want, babe.

[And Cisco does. They get settled and Cisco's voice is warm and rich as he reads something - Eddie isn't particularly paying attention to the words, and he should feel bad, but he also knows that Cisco isn't particularly expecting him to follow. That Cisco wants him to go to sleep. And he does, slowly, occasionally fluttering his eyes open to make sure Cisco is still there before he drifts off again.

It feels like a few moments, when Eddie wakes up again, feeling hazy and still exhausted, clearer in the head but with a lot more pain points jarring his nerves up and down his body. Softly, he groans, becomes aware of the almost cracked dryness of his throat while his eyes open, his lips part a little.]

Nnn...Cisco?

[franciscoramon]

[ His options for reading material were somewhat limited; just what he can find easily with his phone. Fortunately, there are a few classics he recognizes from Earth that are open-access, and he settles in to read Eddie the beginning of The Hobbit. Cisco chooses that one half to comfort himself; it's familiar enough that he has an easy time reading, despite the fact that most of his attention is still focused on Eddie.

It takes a little while for his boyfriend to fall asleep; Cisco keeps an eye on him, listening to his breathing, watching the tension in his jaw and face. Once he's fairly sure Eddie's asleep, Cisco keeps reading for a few minutes after, just to be extra certain. When he finally tucks the book away, he spends a little time just looking at his boyfriend's pale face, the array of monitors showing his body working away, hanging on, just starting to consider the long slow process of healing.

And he leaves his hand in Eddie's, even as he readjusts the chair, leans over to rest his cheek on the edge of Eddie's pillow, and drifts off, himself. It's still early in the day, and he hasn't eaten in who knows how long, but he doesn't care about any of that. All the panic and uncertainty had worn him out.

It's a light sleep, however, and Eddie's groan jolts Cisco awake immediately. His back and neck are killing him from the awkward angle he'd fallen asleep at, and it takes him just a few heart-pounding seconds to remember where he is, what's happened. Eddie's here, like normal, but the room is unfamiliar, the light from the monitors startles him. It all comes rushing back, and Cisco exhales shakily. He pushes his hair from his face, cheek showing soft indents from creases in the pillowcase. ]

I'm here.

[ The small window shows only a cloudy night sky. Cisco checks his phone, sees that it is around 2 in the morning. A nurse must have come in at some point and shut off the lights; there's only a dim light coming from a fixture high on the wall. In the dark, Cisco feels around for Eddie's hand, finds it and tucks it between his own, carefully. ]

You're in the hospital.

[ In case Eddie, like him, had a moment of disorientation. ]

[causational]

[It takes a long few moments before Eddie is willing to try moving, and it starts with his fingers, which twitch a bit - he can move the ones on the right, sliding against the warmth of Cisco's skin, but the ones on the left aren't cooperating, and for a few moments he's entirely focused on making sure he still has control of them. Then Cisco is moving, he's sitting up from the bed beside him, and Eddie's eyes blink over to look at him.

Cisco looks disoriented, a little startled, his eyes dark and hazy, his cheek marked with lines from the pillow, and he's telling Eddie that he's here. Eddie makes a little noise in his throat, and smiles at him, before it even really registers where he is or what's going on or why everything hurts from his throat all the way down his left side, inside him, why it's a little hard to breathe and his ribcage feels all raw inside. None of that really matters, right away, because Cisco is here with him, holding his hand and looking pretty and disheveled and that means things are okay.]

Hey baby...

[It's slightly cracked and hoarse, his throat is raw and dry, but he's still smiling, and when Cisco says that he's in the hospital, he makes a remarking noise in his throat.]

Right...hospital. [For a moment, he's quiet, then he speaks again, eyes tracking up to Cisco's face.] Did you sleep here? Are you okay?

[Then, another pause, before...]

Did I sleep for a long time? Can we go home now?

[franciscoramon]

'm fine. Dozed off.

[ The response is automatic, offhand; Cisco's not feeling wonderful right now, but that doesn't matter in the least. What matters is Eddie. All that remembered stress and fear starts trickling back into Cisco, and he looks at Eddie's face carefully, seeing the signs of pain despite the small smile. ]

It's the middle of the night. Are you in pain? I can call the nurse.

[ Cisco, worried, reaches over to touch Eddie's chest, remembers when his hand is halfway there all the strict instructions not to. So he flinches, pulls his hand back quickly, internally chiding himself for nearly messing up. He chews at his bottom lip, wondering if there are any doctors around. There had to be, right? It's a hospital, there are doctors at all hours. ]

They're not gonna let you go home for a couple days. You're not supposed to move, and they have to observe you, make sure the surgeries are healing okay.

[ It wouldn't be over, even then. Even once he's discharged, Eddie would need time to recover. But that's all in the future; he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it. ]

It's okay though. I'm here. I'm gonna take care of you. Just tell me what you need.

[causational]

[Eddie's eyes stay on Cisco's face as he says that he's fine, that he dozed off - he can tell that Cisco's not feeling great, anyone could. He can also tell that Cisco is more focused on Eddie and how he feels than he is on his own comfort, and he's not sure how he feels about it. Relieved, pleased, uncomfortable, guilty, all swirled into some incomprehensible combination that's a little overwhelming. Swallowing hard, he makes a soft noise in his throat, squeezing at Cisco's hand while he watches the negativity start coming back into Cisco's face, making his brows furrow in the middle, his shoulders tense.]

I'm okay.

[It sounds pathetic, weak. Not really all that encouraging, for all that he's trying to ease Cisco's fear and take some of the pressure off. He feels another little surge of guilt and pain when Cisco reaches out to touch him and then recoils, pulling his hand back. For a moment, Eddie's throat feels tight and then there are tears in his eyes again and he tries to hold them back so Cisco doesn't feel bad about it.]

Seriously babe, I'm okay. You can touch me. I...I want you to touch me. I don't...

[His voice chokes off for a moment and the expression he makes at Cisco is nothing less than pleading, a little desperate, eminently vulnerable. More vulnerable than he would be with anyone but Cisco.]

I'm thirsty.

[Maybe, he thinks, if he tells Cisco something he needs so he can help, Eddie might be able to take some of that weight from him.]

[franciscoramon]

[ It's not that Eddie is lying to him; Cisco thinks that Eddie believes what he's saying. But how could he be okay? He'd been shot twice, had been brought to the hospital a bloody mess that had to be stitched back together. Maybe, if magic had been on the table, he would be closer to alright. But these wounds would have to heal more slowly.

So he just gives a little nod, not believing Eddie, but not wanting to contradict him either. Not when Eddie looks so scared and desperate, in the dim light. Cisco brings his hand over again and, exceptionally gently, as if he were trying to touch a soap bubble without popping it, he brushes his fingers across Eddie's chest. It's the faintest touch possible - not a hint of pressure behind it, just enough that he's touching Eddie, like he asked. ]

I'll go tell them you're awake, and get you some water. I watched how she did it last time. I can help you with it.

[ Cisco gets to his feet, bending down to kiss Eddie's forehead softly. He feels a strange reluctance to leave the room. As if the moment Eddie's not in his sight, he's going to vanish. He glances at the door, then back to Eddie. ]

Back in a minute.

[ With that, he leaves the room briskly. It takes a few minutes for him to come back - he might be feeling urgent, but the nurses are not, considering there's no great crisis. Cisco returns with that same water bottle, says as he shuts the door: ]

They've got you scheduled for some scans at 8. Once they've done that, the doctor's gonna look at the results and talk to us about how long you gotta stay, and meds, and stuff like that. And the nurse said if you start feeling nauseous or dizzy, you gotta call for her, okay?

[ Carefully, Cisco finds the control to tilt Eddie's bed, enough that he can drink without sitting up or putting any strain on his torso. He holds the bottle for Eddie to drink from, face tired but loving as he says, quietly: ]

I thought we agreed that next time it was my turn to get shot. I can't believe we're 4 and 0. It's a disgrace.

[causational]

[It's obvious to Eddie that he's not physically okay, that he's really messed up, but he thinks, right now, he might be better off than Cisco when it comes to how he's feeling, how he's reacting. Cisco looks compromised, vulnerable and hurt, afraid, and when he reaches out to touch Eddie, it's delicate, so light he can barely feel it - for a moment, Eddie feels hurt and a little bereft. All he really wants, in that moment, is for Cisco to climb into bed with him, to curl against him, for everything to be okay and normal.

Instead, he just smiles at Cisco and nods a bit, regretting the movement a moment later.]

Okay baby.

[And then Cisco is heading away, moving at a brisk pace, and Eddie goes boneless in the bed, his eyes sink shut, he swallows a few times and tries to get himself reoriented, to chase the negativity out of his head. It's hard, because the moment he goes quiet and stops looking around himself, he becomes intensely aware of the pain in his body - tearing its way down his side, ripping at his lungs every time he breathes, crackling in his ribs. And then there's the emotional part, the fear, some kind of dread, the little flashes of memory of how it had felt to die, before he came here, how it had felt to fade away, the cold, the feeling of Iris' arms around him, of Joe's eyes on him.

Carefully, Eddie gathers all of that up and pushes it down, tries to let some of it go, and when Cisco comes back into the room, he manages a smile, his eyes warm and bright.]

Missed you.

[While Cisco explains the schedule, what the doctor's going to do, the scans and meds and all of it makes his head spin a little bit. But he's smart enough and awake enough to follow what Cisco's saying, making a mental note that if he feels sick or dizzy he should call a nurse. He stops thinking about that, though, when Cisco brings the bottle to his mouth, he sucks water into his mouth, groaning softly in his throat with pleasure as the wetness of it soothes the pain of his cracked lips and his dry, raw throat. After a few sips, though, it starts to turn his stomach and he pulls his head back, licking his lips to look up at Cisco. Cisco, whose eyes are fond and loving, who speaks to him quietly, making a slightly silly reference to a conversation they'd had before.]

Mmm, I never agreed to that. I think I agreed to taking all the shots from here on out.

[franciscoramon]

Missed you, too.

[ Cisco is careful, making sure Eddie doesn't choke on the water. When he's done drinking, Cisco settles in again, taking Eddie's hand between his. Eddie looks a little better than he did before. Maybe it's the lighting, or maybe the rest, but there's a bit more color in his face. Cisco knows, though, that he can't be feeling better. The nurse had warned him, while he was getting that water, that the pain would be bad for a while. He can take drugs for the worst of it, but that would only do so much. ]

Damn, you're right. I'm the one who's supposed to be able to see the future. Quit stealing my shtick already...

[ He trails off, face falling a little from that deliberate attempt at lightness. A thought which had flitted through his mind a few dozen times while he was in that waiting room resurfaces again, settling in Cisco's mind horribly. So Cisco's expression slides from a faint smile to a look of fragility, his gaze dropping to Eddie's hand folded between his. He needs to say something. It's only right. Even if saying something will only draw attention to his own failure. ]

I'm sorry... I didn't see this coming. I should have.

[ His vision goes blurry, but it isn't like before, when he collapsed in a torrent of tears, too powerful to even try to hold back. This time, Cisco tries not to cry. He feels an awful pressure in his head as he swallows, voice tight with forced control: ]

What's the good of getting visions of the future if I can't even-

[ Cisco's voice cracks, and he stops, there. Eddie can figure out the rest, anyway. ]