riverviewlogs | [open] Here I am

Rey was slowly piecing together bits and pieces of her sanity back together after learning the bond with Ben was back. It was suddenly brought back to life, like a flame reigniting after it had been snuffed out. She wasn't sure why it had happened, or how it happened. It was all too raw for her, to be connected to Ben in such an intimate way. How they were able to speak to one another even when they were far apart. Didn't matter how many lightyears apart they were, but they could zero in on each other and simply talk.

She was still trying to grasp his words. He wanted to stay here. He wasn't interested in going back. Which was good, or maybe bad. It was too soon to tell. What she did know, was he said she killed Snoke to Hux. When Hux brought the information to her, she....went along with it. Still protecting or defending Ben for reasons that weren't clear to her.

For now, she was putting her focus on following the instructions on baking a small chocolate cake. It required a 'lb' of butter, and scoops of flour--and not the petal kind. After everything that Cisco has done for her, the least he deserved was something sweet. Not store bought, but something made with her own two hands--and she wasn't about to buy the 'instant' stuff.

It was a learning experiment for the former scavenger. She was gathering ingredients that had similar properties to the recipe she found. Now it was a matter of decoding the weird language and following the steps. Eggs were cracked, flour was mixed in, now she was trying to figure out the difference between baking soda and baking powder. In the midst of it, she felt something tug at her A presence growing stronger with each passing second until it was near...in her own home.

The bond was acting up...and Ben was around. He would be able to see her small studio apartment and see her sitting at a table with various ingredients placed about. A mixing bowl off to one side with the spatula nearby. Rey's hands dusted with flour and hair tied back in a messy bun. She could just....ignore him, right?

He doesn't see Rey's surroundings, exactly. Just her, sitting at the same table he's at, ingredients set in front of her as she goes about her business. Of course, the reality is they're in opposite ends of the city-- most likely, anyway. Himself, he's alone in the dining area on his floor, back in the communal housing building. Just Ren, and a mug of tea.

Like Rey, he'd rather just ignore this connection right now. With so much left unresolved from their last encounters, the emotional wounds haven't healed yet. So he lets out a sharp huff of breath and drinks his tea, frowning, tersely ignoring their bond, even as they sit across from each other.

Except he knows well enough by now that it won't go away just because he doesn't feel like talking. So, watching as Rey tries to decide which ingredient to use, Kylo breaks the silence.

"You have a recipe, don't you?"

Rey continued to read and then reread the two different containers. There was a difference between the two items, but she didn't know why the words 'baking' were on their boxes. Different properties, one for cooking and the other....she was still trying to figure out. It was better to study the containers than deal with the man she could see in front of her.

At least, that was the plan until he spoke. Her eyes looked up at him, keeping a calm expression on her face rather than let him see anything else. Her stress, her frustration over their situation, and the sadness she felt seeing him. She briefly looked over him, looking for any signs of injury. He seemed physically wounded last time they 'spoke.'

"I do. I was wondering why something was named 'baking soda,' and the other 'baking powder'.." She explained softly, adding the small measurement of baking powder to the mixture before starting to stir it with a spatula. Next came another ingredient... a 'lb' of butter. As she pondered over what a 'lb' actually meant, she looked back at him, thinking if she should ask him if he was well...

"..You look better." Than last time.

He listens to her explanation, his own defensive coldness thawing somewhat, giving way to a sense of... appreciation. That bright fire of curiosity within her is as intriguing as ever. And though it's not enough to get him to forget about their disastrous argument, or the events leading up to it, it does spark his own curiosity. He leans forward a little, eyes brightening with interest.

"Soda..." He's pretty sure that's relating to sodium, so... "A baking salt?" he ventures. But what does he know; he doesn't bake. Ren tilts his head, watching Rey continue with her tasks, feeling some sense of her confusion regarding the butter.

"The packaging will tell you how much is in each stick," he supplies. He doesn't know how much she needs, but clearly she's trying to measure it. Ren may not be a baker, but he cooks frequently enough here that he knows some things.

As far as how he looks... Ren looks up from Rey's hand, eyes locking on hers. "Do I." Noncommittal, a neutral response to see what else she might be leading up to.

"Possibly a baking salt, but why bother name it baking soda when it's not used for baking?" Because the recipe called for baking soda, and really, Rey would have to investigate this further with other chemicals, or baked goods. One or the other. When Rey wanted to find out why something the way it was, or what purposes it could have, she went for it. Her mind was intrigued, and someone else's curiosity was tickled too. Interesting they could have a conversation about different components than what was bothering both of them.

"I can see the measurements here.." she pointed to the side of the butter packing, showing how much was there and the little tally marks too. She placed the down the butter in favor of taking out her comm to look up what 'lb' actually meant. Her eyebrows knitted together in more confusion when she found the answer.

"It's short hand for pound." So odd, so very odd, but she'll follow the instructions and take out a pound of butter and try to mix that in.

...But she didn't leave the butter out to soften so it's cold, hard and difficult to mix.

Her eyes look up from the mixing bowl to meet his and nods her head a little.

"Your arm...or shoulder. It looked strained before." a simple observation. To anyone else it might show she was trying to make conversation, but there was a hidden meaning there. She had been paying attention, and she still cared. Rey was the first to break eye contact then, looking down at her bowl and trying to focus on mixing in the hard butter with a lot of effort, spilling flour and baking powder on her table, and on herself. Maybe she could just use the microwave and melt the butter....that might work.

"You have to let that soften, first," he points out, after watching Rey struggle to mix the butter in with everything else. And then, curiously, he asks, "What are you making?"

He can smell, faintly, some sweetness, and it's obviously a dessert of some kind. But beyond that, he doesn't know what it is or who it's for. Herself? One of her Rebel friends?

The observation is some surprise to him. Indeed, he hadn't thought she'd noticed the way he was carrying himself that day. "It was strained," he confirms, "because I'd been shot."

Which might also explain why he'd been keeping an even lower profile than before. He really hasn't been doing much besides recovering and getting to know Leonard. It's only recently that he's even ventured back to work.

"Right...I didn't think of that." Soften the butter, well..now she's in this mess and she needed to figure out what to do. Putting it back in the fridge wouldn't work. The butter would only remain solid so then what?

"I'm trying to make a cake. Never made one before." She said simply, taking a step back from the bowl of flour, sugar and a stick of butter--and of course, baking powder. "It was a friend's birthday and I didn't know what to get him. Thought a cake would be nice."

There's a soft shrug of her shoulders as she moved away from the table to take out a smaller bowl from a cabinet and turned on her oven to a low heat. Rey took out the stick of butter and moved it into the bowl she grabbed and placed both in the oven, thinking a minute or so would be enough to soften the butter. He didn't need to know who shew as baking for, like hell she was going to put Cisco in that kind of danger, but she was trying to open up and still be guarded about her feelings.

Only to have that plan go out the window hearing he had been shot.

"You were what?" This is a surprise--not too surprising, but still a surprise. He had a knack for getting into trouble. "Who shot you? Hux?" Why was she even asking? Why was she still caring?

The cake, and who it's for, isn't really a priority for Ren. Once she's asking about his injuries, he has no reason to think of it any further. Instead, he narrows his eyes at her assuming it was Hux, rather than any of the Resistance scum infesting this place. Not that he'd put it past the general to shoot at him, but to his small credit, Hux isn't stupid enough to open fire on him-- and he certainly isn't one to shoot to wound.

"No. I'm sure you can guess who would open fire on me for walking along the street."

Rey doesn't know. She doesn't know who shot first. What the circumstances were, and why...why he didn't ask her for help. It was stupid of her to think that. Stupid to think he'd want to open the door and walk right through. She needed to stop caring. Needed to stop seeing the good in him and accept things as they were.

Her movements come to a stop as the realization sinks in. There's only one other person to shoot Ben. One person with enough rage and for the life of her she wants to defend him. To deny what happened, but it's true. There's nothing she can sense otherwise.

"Poe." Her hand curled into a fist, upset that he would even think about adding onto the tension. That this was Leia's son--Poe doesn't care. He doesn't care who Ben is or was. To Poe, he was the villain who needed to be taken down...and she can't say she'll deal with him, because she's not his commander, not his superior--could she even say friend anymore?

"...I can't make any excuse for him, nor should I. He...he has lost his damn mind."

She's angry on his behalf. He should be elated, but instead, there's only conflict inside him as he watches Rey ball her hands into fists.

"Has he?" he asks, his voice mild. Because the thing is, for as much as Kylo despises Poe-- and he does; he would kill him in a heartbeat and feel no remorse if he thought he could get away with it here-- he does understand why the pilot shot at him. After everything, of course Poe would take the shot at Kylo Ren, who tortured him, who killed his comrades, who commanded the First Order to finish off the remains of the Resistance.

No, as much as he doesn't enjoy getting shot at, Poe's actions make sense to him.

"What else should one do with a rabid animal?"

Edited 2018-03-14 23:56 (UTC)

"I think he has. He should know better than to pick fights." Especially with Ben, especially with Ben. Both of them could've gotten hurt, but it's more than that. Did he not trust Rey to take care of things? Granted, she couldn't be everywhere at once. But there's also the fact that someone else could've gotten shot. Someone else would've died--and this Moon is small. Everyone knew mostly everyone else.

Damnit, she was going to have to talk to Cisco about this. Find a way to keep Ben and Poe from killing each other. Hell, she hates Hux, but she doesn't go out and look for a reason to shoot him.

"Name calling? Really?" Rey shot Ben a look. By now the butter was melted all the way through, but she didn't care. She did slip on an oven mitt and take out the bowl of melted butter to set on the small stove.

"I'm not putting him down. I'm not going to fight him." At least not now. She...needed to have words. This will strain their friendship, but she needed to talk to him.

"Has he done anything else?"

"I was referring to myself," he snaps. Poe sees Ren as the animal to put down, and acted accordingly. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened; Uncle Luke clearly regarded him in much the same way. Hux, too, he's certain. He has no intention of letting anyone else attempt to put him down again.

"And I don't need you to handle Poe Dameron for me."

He'll deal with the pilot when the best opportunity arises. And Dameron's companion, who was the one whose bullets actually hit their mark.

"You're not a rabid animal," Rey snapped back, crossing her arms over her chest. He was....a monster at times, she won't deny that. But he could be reasoned with, at least she thought he could be. It was frustrating, very frustrating to be caught between those two. They were going to kill each other one way or another. They both viewed the other as the villain, and wanted to take the other down.

"I wasn't going to handle Poe for you. I learned my lesson from trying to deal with Poe's ...adventures." When he turned into a bird and she tried to apologize on his behalf and that blew up in her face. Nor did she have any right to ask Ben to not fight back against Poe. Why couldn't both men just leave the other person the hell alone?

"I can't ask anything of you, because...you don't owe me anything, nor do I owe you anything." Except her life...and his life. They worked together to fight off Snoke's guards after Snoke was killed.

[open] Here I am

For Ben: Force bond shenanigans

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