( open ) last night I felt real arms around me

[winscenario]

who: Jim Kirk & YOU
what: Bones is gone and Jim is coping with it the only way he knows how: poorly.
when: Jan 25th through to early February
where: bars, parks and streets, shuttle and beyond the walls
warnings: drinking, general weird moods, Jim being depressed, possible crying. don't expect anything else but will edit if need be. JUST GIVE HIM DISTRACTIONS.


I ▹ JUST ONE MORE GLASS

[ It's a few days before Jim actually leaves the house properly, though he still doesn't look all that great. He's combed his hair and put on mildly presentable clothes, but he's still sporting a short beard he hasn't cared to shave, and he's not looking like his usual cheerful self either.

During the first few days, it's all still a little too fresh on his mind, and his heart. He goes out but it's not with the intent of socializing so much as sitting by the bar on his own, asking the barkeep to pour him one glass after another. He spends most of the time staring down at the liquid swirling in his glass, gaze seldom lifting from the surface, though he will if someone happens to take a seat on the stool next to his.

He'll spare a vague smile if it's a stranger, and a few words if it's a familiar face: ] What brings you around here?

II ▹ MIDNIGHT RUN

[ It doesn't get better anytime soon. It's a process, Jim tries to tell himself, but he hates that he can't force himself to just be fine. He hates that he's nothing but a burden souring everyone's mood, and maybe that's why he thinks it would be for the best if he just avoided everyone.

On the other hand, he's lonely. He hates that. Can't stand being all alone in the empty loft when he leaves the guard. John's been putting up with him and keeping him company more often than not, but Jim knows that he can't very well hog all his time. He's got better things to do than stay with him.

So, when he can't sleep, and when he can't stand the deafening silence, he puts on running gear and goes out for a late night jog. There are always a few people around but it's generally quiet, and the parks are a good spot to just run until his legs hurt and his lungs burn. When he can't take it anymore and his head starts spinning, he lies down on the grass, staring up at the night sky. Anything to not be in his empty bed, staring up at the ceiling. ]

III ▹ THROW YOURSELF INTO YOUR WORK

[ After the end of the month, the levels of self-pity start getting a little ridiculous. He finds himself equal parts sad and angry at himself that he's just letting himself go down a spiral, as much as he tries to tell himself he's coping just fine.

He needs to do something. Be useful. Resume his life in the Quarantine the best he can, cling to whatever is still steady and present and normal in his life: his work.

He shaves finally, tidies up his place, even irons clothes and buys some ready-to-eat meals to stock up his fridge, and he shows up at the Perimeter Guard after a week and some looking mostly like himself. He's not as cheerful, granted, but he doesn't avoid or ignore anyone, though it's obvious he focuses on his work more than anything else. As the days go by people might catch him yawning at odd times, rubbing at his tired eyes still sporting dark circles that are proof of his lack of sleep.

Out on the shuttle, he might even start to doze off halfway through a flight. Whoever's with him should probably take helm control and just tell him to sit back, or else Jim's grip on the shuttle might just slip, giving them the scare of their lives. ]

Comments

ii.

[ikols]

[ Against the starry sky, his face looms into view over Jim's head where the captain lies on the grass. Despite being in the middle of the park, Loki's steps made not a sound during his approach across the green. ]

Oh, dear. Are you dead?

[winscenario]

[ His eyes snap open when Loki speaks, the surprise bleeding away when he recognizes his face, and his voice. He's still panting a little for breath, but at least he's not as dizzy now, and he can manage to string a few words together. ]

Not quite, just yet.

[ His lips curl a little. Despite everything, Loki does always manage to get a smile out of him. ]

What are you doing... here? And if you tell me you're actually exercising, I might just— actually be surprised.

[ikols]

[ Pacing to Jim's side so the captain doesn't have to stare up Loki's nose for this conversation, he nods to the clouds above. ]

I was out for a stroll up there when I saw a body prostrate in the middle of the field. I thought it was best to poke it with a stick and see if it was dead, but it turns out it's you, and you're just ... winded from too much cardio? For shame, Jim! Everyone knows, weights are where it's at.

[winscenario]

Thought someone had just jogged themselves to death, did you?

[ He manages a weak chuckle, vague and not quite there. Finally he forces himself to sit up, hands resting on the grass behind him, keeping the weight of his torso propped up. ]

Just wanted to burn off some excess energy. Besides, the gyms are all closed at this hour.

[ikols]

I'm a very responsible citizen.

[ Checking on random would-be corpses, yes. That's how Loki's night is faring. ]

At this hour? Aren't you cold? I can help with that, I have a magical stone ...

[ Searching in his coat, wait a second. ]

[winscenario]

How very conscious of you.

[ Also slightly creepy, just saying. ]

Loki— [ He holds in a breath, then lets out a chuckle, shaking his head. He has no idea if Loki's serious or not, but still. ] It's fine. I'm not cold.

[ He gets to his feet, even though his knees are a little week and his legs a little wobbly. ] Anyway— mind if I join you on that stroll?

[ikols]

[ Offering a bent arm to his creaky-kneed friend, he nods happily. ]

Sure, O'Captain my Captain. I was traversing the clouds, but let's continue on the street. I'm of a mind to buy something from the first vendor I see ...

[winscenario]

[ He sketches a small smile, putting a hand on the crook of Loki's arm and tugging him a little closer as they start strolling through the park. ]

Think there are even any open stands at this hour? [ Probably. Sometimes it feels like the whole damn place never sleeps. ]

[ikols]

If there aren't, I have a pub.

[ Patting the hand in the crook of his arm as they walk, he assesses him sidelong. ]

Why so restless at Loki o'clock, Jim?

[winscenario]

God... a drink does sound nice, but I'm not really dressed for it.

[ He runs his fingers through his damp hair, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. ]

I moved. Flat's too empty. [ He glances at Loki. Part of him doesn't want to say it, but when Loki had been suffering the same predicament, Jim had offered to be there for him. So. ] Bones is gone. Went back home.

[ikols]

Ah ...

[ Loki catches that look and slides his arm around Jim's shoulders instead, rubbing at his sleeve. Bones was Jim's other half, way more than Tony ever was for Loki; they didn't spend formative years in close companionship on ... well, a ship. That Jim is opening up when he could easily brush off concerns is a big tell of how badly he has been wounded by the abandonment in Quarantine, if nothing else. ]

When did he return?

[winscenario]

A few days ago. Almost a week, now.

[ He takes a slow inhale, shrugging. He doesn't look at Loki, though, even as he leans into the hug. It's somehow both comforting and painful, but Jim welcomes it, Loki's small attempt to console him, or to at least let him know he's there. ]

We both knew it could happen any moment. It's... well, not fine. But it will be. [ He exhales, shaky and audible. ] At least he's back home now. Better than nothing, I guess.

[ Even if Jim ended up getting left behind. ]

[ikols]

[ He's so bad at consoling people, always was. The incentive to help is particularly strong with Jim, one of a handful of trusted friends who still remain on the moon. ]

Tell me what you need. I'll get you whatever you want, I ... I promise.

[ He wouldn't swear that for just anyone. ]

Anything, Jim.

[winscenario]

[ The offer doesn't surprise him so much. For all of Loki's nonchalance and devil-may-care attitude, Jim knows he genuinely cares. And he knows he can use it right now, even if he also feels a little greedy for wanting to soak all that up for himself.

He stops them both, so he can put his arms around Loki, hugging him properly. He holds on a little longer than he normally would, so he doesn't feel like he's falling apart at the edges when he pulls away.

Kissing Loki's cheek, he smiles. Grateful. ] I meant it. A drink would be nice, if you're free. Just need to take a quick shower, but if you're willing to wait...

[ikols]

[ Even dating Billy and growing accustomed to constant cuddles, it takes him a moment to overcome his surprise and wrap an arm around Jim in a proper hug, brushing through his hair. Warm lips touch his cheek and he leans back enough to see those pretty blue eyes filled with so much pain. ]

How about a shower at the Sanctum in a fancy bathroom with endless soapy treats, then dinner and drinks on me at Trixie?

[winscenario]

[ Jim raises an eyebrow, surprised and amused both by the offer. He does smile a little wider, though, and for once it's not all hurt. ]

Mm, you do know how to spoil a guy. [ He chuckles, but nods. ] Yeah, that sounds great. You're gonna have to lend me some clothes, though. [ It's not like he has a change of clothes on him right now. ]

[ikols]

My dearest captain is worth spoiling.

[ With a wink, he covers Jim's eyes with a hand; the outdoorsy noises are instantly muted and the scent of sandalwood permeates the Sanctum Sanctorum, even before Loki steps back to let Jim see the townhouse. Dark wooden furniture, ornate carvings, a huge main staircase that splits either side of a stained-glass window depicting the Eye of Agamotto ... it's all murky but highlighted with warm tones, lamps speckled here and there. The chill of the night is absent.

Instant teleportation is a rarity he saves for special occasions and he hopes he didn't disorientate Jim too much. ]

Let's head upstairs, shall we?

[winscenario]

[ He feels the change in their surroundings almost instantly, although he doesn't startle until Loki actually removes his hand from Jim's eyes. He takes half a step back, looking around in surprise, taking a second or two to let all of it sink in. ]

Whoa. [ He chuckles, shaking his head. He nods at the question, waiting for Loki to lead the way. ] Could use a warning next time.

[ikols]

I don't want to waste our time together, we never seem to hang out much.

[ He pats Jim on the back, leading the way up the main stairs. ]

You know, you can crash here later if you want. We have a spare bedroom.

[winscenario]

Only as of late. It was a busy time. [ At least with Jim it was. Neither is at fault for spending a while without seeing each other as often, really. Never too late to make up for lost time, though.

He follows Loki up the stairs and towards his room. His skin is feeling a little cool and sticky, now he's no longer running, and he's frankly looking forward to that shower. ]

I, ah... actually, that'd be— nice. Yeah. [ He smiles vaguely. ] I moved to a new place, but it's just... too quiet there.

[ikols]

[ Busy for everyone, that's true. ]

You're welcome to stop over as long as you please. Ah, I wonder if you could help me with a side-project ... I've been thinking of buying an anti-grav bike, but I know very little of them or any vehicle. [ Opening one of the dark-panelled doors, a modern bathroom with a shower is visible beyond. As well as Stephen, Sam, and Billy's minute additions, Loki has three racks of baskets under his name containing all sorts of fancy lotions and potions, razors and creams, nail varnishes here and there ... ] A conversation best saved over dinner, perhaps.

Use whatever you need in there, [ with a wave to the toiletries inside the bathroom, ] and fresh towels are in the cupboard.

[winscenario]

Really? [ He hums. ] Sure, I can give you a few tips. I mean, my bike's not anti-grav, but I did have one once, a long time ago.

[ He still likes the one he has now better. But then he's always had a thing for vintage stuff. ]

I'll try to be quick. [ He turns to Loki with a smile, once he steps into the bathroom. ] Thank you, Loki.

[ikols]

No problem, enjoy the bubbles.

[ A wave from a hand and a green light the size of a tennis ball floats into being. He shrugs off the thanks, though they mean a lot. ]

Ask Will the Wisp for directions when you're done, he'll aim you true.

[ With that, Loki trots down the staircase. ]

[winscenario]

[ He chuckles at the floating light, nodding. ] I'll do that.

[ He closes the door once Loki leaves, turning to the light as though it can understand him. (Maybe it can, what does he know.) ] Right, then. Guess you'll keep me company huh?

[ He's relieved to peel off his sweaty clothes, and happier still to slip into the tub for a nice, warm shower. He helps himself to a few of Loki's soaps and scents, though he doesn't overdo it, even if he takes a little longer than he'd need just to get cleaned up. He's lacking in clean clothes when he's done, alas, so he dries himself off completely, then wraps a large towel around his waist, figuring he may as well ask his buddy Will to lead the way to where he might find a fresh change of clothes. ]

[ikols]

[ Lil Will twirls and perches on a tap as he waits for Jim to finish a much-deserved soak. When he appears to be needed again, the Wisp leads Jim to the ground-floor of the Sanctum down a winding corridor with many offshoots. Eventually, after a bit of a trek, he disappears through a door into Billy's bedroom.

It's a cosy place with a few books strewn around, the bed larger than any teen needs and draped in furs that scream Loki's handiwork. There is a wardrobe and into this the Wisp soars, landing on a magazine of men's clothes. This way, he seems to say as he shivers, trying to get Jim's attention. Take your pick! ]