riverviewlogs | [open] we tried to bury it and rise above

[ Cisco is happy for a little excitement; he shows up when and where Taako tells him. And if he happens to be wearing a tactical vest with a ridiculous amount of gadgets, and carrying a backpack with all kind of medical supplies and probably some weapons that ought not to just be thrown in a backpack together, well, let's just say that his first venture outside the wall had Not Gone Well.

But Taako can probably shoot fireballs, and surely even his luck isn't bad enough that he'd get attacked by monsters two times in a row - right?

So he is beaming when he spots Taako some distance off, making little mulitcolored sparks and flashes in midair, and possibly conjuring butterflies? Or maybe they're just there for the tiny fireworks. Either way, it's somehow very flashy and strikes Cisco as very Taako. He waves an arm in the air, shouts: ]

'Sup?

[ A few moments later he is at Taako's side, adjusting the straps of his backpack and saying: ]

So you were very mysterious about what exactly we're doing out here.

[That sure is a lot of gear, Taako sort of stares at Cisco for a long moment, caught between baffled and amused, the butterflies momentarily forgotten.]

You know this is just a day trip, right? Like, we're not having a camp out, you didn't need to bring the kitchen sink.

[Cisco pls.... pls.....

Taako has a leather satchel over his shoulder and that's all he felt it was necessary to bring. The tactical vest is overdoing it.]

Yeah, I know. If we were I'd have twice as much. Better safe than sorry, right?

[ He delivers the justification with a slightly embarrassed grin; the fact is, it really is a ridiculous amount to bring with him. Even Cisco is aware of that. He'd tried leaving with less, but his brain kept coming up with 'what if's and the best way to shut it up was to capitulate. And he just knows he's going to end up sore from hauling all this around, but that's a sacrifice he is willing to make. ]

Anyway, you didn't answer my question. What've you got planned?

Well, listen, if Garyl complains that's on you.

[Which is the answer to Cisco's question; Taako points his umbra staff towards a clear space between the trees, makes a quick gesture with it, and Garyl shimmers into existence.

The unicorn looks over at Taako, then Cisco, and says:]

What's up?

Garyl?!

[ Cisco only has time to repeat the rather odd name, in a tone of surprise, before Taako is waving his magic umbrella through the air and summoning a unicorn. Like, an actual unicorn. A horse. With a horn on its head.

Then, somehow, things get even more unbelievable, because the thing is looking at him and it spoke. To him. ]

No way!

[ At which point Cisco claps both hands over his mouth in sheer, unadulterated, childish glee. What else is there to do? There's a talking unicorn, named Garyl of all things, and really sometimes his life is just way too wonderful to be true. His eyes are bright with joy and he can't even drown Taako in a barrage of questions, like he usually would, because he's just too excited about the whole situation. ]

It's a unicorn.

[ Cisco is fully in that 'state the obvious' level of euphoria and disbelief right now. ]

[Taako is used to people being pretty jived with the whole Garyl situation, but Cisco is even more excited than Ellie was, which is kind of hilarious, so the look he exchanges with Garyl is one of 'can you believe this guy?'

It's kind of cute, though.]

I'm not carrying this dude if he passes out, Taako.

[That gets a laugh, as Taako digs a small pack of sugar cubes out of his bag, tipping one onto his palm so that Garyl can eat it. Technically spectral horses don't need food, but it makes Garyl happy to get some every now and then.]

He's not gonna pass out - [And with a glance at Cisco:] - Right?

[ Cisco takes a few steps closer, watching as Taako feeds the talking unicorn, as if it's the most natural thing in the whole world. It takes a moment to actually process what he was being asked, but when the words sink in he nods: ]

Oh, yeah, of course. No passing out, promise. Cross my heart.

[ He makes a little x over his heart, and edges still closer to Taako and his sugar cubes. Excitedly, he asks: ]

Can I feed him one?

[ Cisco's never fed a horse from his hands, much less a unicorn. But it looks easy enough. ]

[Oh good, both Taako and Garyl look relieved at that promise (relief is an odd look on a horse), because neither of them wanted to deal with the consequences of someone getting so excited they passed out. That's never fun.]

Fair warning, he's kinda slobbery.

[But Taako passes Cisco a sugar cube, as Garyl responds:]

Fuck you, Taako.

[The rudest.]

[ Their banter is almost as delightful as the fact of a talking unicorn itself. Cisco takes the sugar cube from Taako, clearly unbothered by the prospect of potential unicorn slobber. He holds his hand out palm up, grinning from ear to ear when the unicorn eats it from his palm. He's about to start asking questions - how this is possible, where he learned this spell, did Garyl exist before and did Taako summon him or did he create him himself, when something happens. Cisco feels a swooping in his stomach, a feeling like he's falling even though his feet are rooted to the spot.

He knows what's happening the moment it starts: he's started to be able to recognize the sensation immediately. But there's nothing he can do to prevent it. One moment he's standing there, heart beating fast, all abuzz with happiness and a little nervousness, and then the world is flickering out around him. When it flickers back in everything is overexposed and weirdly blue-tinged, warped and hard to look at for too long. Cisco sees Taako riding Garyl, sees some people he doesn't recognize, too. These must be Taako's friends, must be something from the past, in his own world.

His main concern, though, is not snooping, but rather what Taako must be thinking right now. Eddie had told Cisco that when he has a vibe he just goes blank, that it looks like he's having a seizure. But does Taako even know what seizures are? Is he going to think Cisco's in a trance? That he's been possessed. Cisco presses a hand to his forehead in the vision, murmurs Come on, snap out of it, Cisco!, to no effect. The vision will last as long as it wants to.

Fortunately, that is not too long. The vibe jolts, goes blurry, and then vanishes, leaving Cisco in the harsh light of the real world. He blinks a few times, gasps softly, and then tries to hide the fact that he's breathing a little faster. Maybe he'll be really, really lucky, and Taako was fixing his hair or checking a map or something and he didn't notice, and Garyl didn't notice either... ]

[It's Garyl who notices first, voicing a concern that draws Taako's attention to the fact Cisco is just... non-responsive. He's not dead, that much is obvious, because usually people fall down when they're dead, and Cisco is still upright and breathing, he just looks as if he's having a bad trip. It reminds him suddenly of what Magnus looked like, just before Edward took over, and something like panic spikes in his chest.]

Uh, Cisco?

[There's no response, and then there is, because Cisco gasps and Taako takes a half step back, dropping the hand that'd been raised to... do something, poke Cisco in the chest or wave a hand in front of his face or anything to check that he was alright.]

You okay, pumpkin?

[He manages to keep his tone light but Garyl goes so far as to gently nudge Cisco's shoulder with his nose, expressing the worry that Taako won't.]

[ So much for going unnoticed. Cisco is still getting his bearing when he feels Garyl bumping his nose against Cisco's shoulder, and Taako's asking if he's okay, and he needs damage control. Right now. There isn't even a pause, a moment when Cisco considers not lying to Taako. His first instinct, from the very first time this had happened to him, is to hide it from everyone, regardless of circumstance. ]

Yeah! Yeah, totally! Nothing happened! Just... spaced out, y'know?

[ He's a really, really bad liar. Cisco laughs, but it comes out way too nervous and forced, and ends up making things even more awkward and tense than before. He is the embodiment of "doth protest too much", and he might have been able to save the situation if he'd kept his mouth shut at that point, but he's too nervous, and for Cisco, nervous means chattering: ]

Actually I was, um. Pranking you! 'Cause you said... don't pass out, right, so... that was a joke, just now. Whatever I did.

[ Oh, god, he really is atrocious at this. ]

[There's not a single second where Taako believes whatever shit Cisco is selling, and it's apparent from the look on his face, which is full of doubt. Between the stammering and the forced laughter and just... everything, it's a whole lot of lies, and that means that Cisco knows what happened.

And that's reassuring, in it's own way, since he seems nervous but not worried, like he's more concerned with Taako thinking nothing has happened than the fact that something happened.]

Okay, soooo, you're lying, just wanna put that out there. [He's not mad, though, just kind of baffled.] But like, you don't owe me shit, so that's your business, as long as you're not dying or whatever.

[He won't push for the real answer so long as he knows that Cisco isn't about to die on him.]

[ The moment Taako calls him out on lying, the forced smile drops from Cisco's face. He breaks eye contact, mouth scrunching to the side in a momentary grimace. He might be a terrible liar, but it's usually worked before. People were either too polite or too distracted to actually call his very bad bluff.

And the fact that Taako's so cool about it, saying he doesn't owe him an answer but just wanting to know he's okay... that makes Cisco feel really guilty. Taako's been so friendly to him ever since he showed up - giving him awesome presents, trusting Cisco to see his spell-book, telling him about his adventures, even summoning this awesome unicorn for them. And Cisco... hasn't really trusted him with shit. ]

I'm not dying.

[ He could just leave it there, and he knows it. Cisco chews at a thumbnail nervously; he remembers their conversation where Taako was totally baffled by the idea of metas who would be ashamed and keep their powers hidden. Magic is normal, where he's from. He'd told Eddie, and the world hadn't collapsed. For all he knows, Taako thinks this is something way worse than it actually is. Cisco draws in a long, slightly shaky breath. ]

I, uh. I get... visions, sometimes.

[ It just sounds so anticlimactic, once he actually says it, and yet at the same time so unbearably big. Swallowing, Cisco goes on: ]

I saw you, and Garyl, and a really big muscley dude in leather armor, and a dwarf with a ponytail, and you were riding through some woods past this gnarly looking house. And the big guy was, like, waving? I don't know, I was trying pretty hard to snap out of it. Not that that ever works.

[His first thought is divination; they didn't have a divination expert in the IPRE crew, since wizard divination is different than actual divine magic, like what Merle does, but there were a few in his classes at the academy, so Taako knows that it means visions, predictions, all that fun sort of crap that he would never want to deal with. Transmuation is simple, there's no guess work, no worrying about what the future holds, just one thing to another thing and it's done.

And then he remembers that magic doesn't exist, where Cisco comes from, leaving the only explanation being that Cisco is a metahuman, and suddenly their previous conversation on this topic makes a whole lot more sense. Taako actually mutters ohhhh to himself, half distracted as he puts shit in context, before he refocuses back on what Cisco is saying.

It's strange to think of someone just having access to his past like that, and he's grateful it was something innocuous, a rushed but not terrible moment with his friends, rather than like... a death, or something more private. But Cisco seems to genuinely not be able to control it, so he's not about to hold a grudge over it.]

That would've been Refuge. Magnus and Merle, human and shitty dwarf, respectively. [It feels like a long time ago, even if it's only been about six months, including his time in the Quarantine.] That's kinda rad, though, do you just see other people's shit, or your own?

[ Cisco doesn't really know what reaction he expected from Taako, but a simple 'oohhhh' of understanding certainly wasn't it.

It's not like his sample size of people's reactions to his powers is huge. First, there had been Dr. Wells: like fuck was Taako's response going to be anything like that. Second had been Stein, curious, supportive, and mentorly - but despite his age, Taako really isn't the mentor type. With Eddie, well, the situation had been different. There'd been a lot more blood loss and it hadn't just been a vision that he'd seen.

So it's uncharted waters, and Cisco searches Taako's face for any sign of fear or mistrust, but he doesn't find any. If Taako is horrified, he's certainly hiding it well. It's clear he knows exactly who Cisco is talking about, when he mentions the other men he'd seen in the vision. The past, then. Cisco had figured. ]

What makes him shitty?

[ He doesn't think there's any actual animosity in the way Taako says that, so it just leaves him curious. Besides, well.
It'd be nice to shift a little of the focus off himself, thanks.

When Taako calls his powers rad, Cisco folds his arms, an unconscious gesture of his when he's uneasy. He shrugs. ] Not really. Not when I can't control them, and they're totally useless and annoying.

[ All of which is ludicrous understatement, of course. His visions are more than just useless and annoying. But it hurts a little less when he plays it off like they're the metahuman equivalent of a website with autoplay: obnoxious but ultimately harmless. If only. ]

Both. Depends on the context, I guess. I don't have any say in it, so most of the time I end up seeing stuff I really really don't want to see, at the worst time possible.

[ He still is keeping his tone as light as he can, but there's a little roughness underneath it that he can't entirely cover over, as much as he might want to. And that, too, echoes another conversation they'd had, about psychometry, when Cisco had speculated that that sort of power would be pointless if it couldn't be controlled. He'd been dropping hints without meaning to, little clues that probably only make sense now, in hindsight.

Cisco lifts a hand up to pat at Garyl's neck and says, jerkily: ] Please- don't tell anyone? Eddie knows, but nobody else. I don't want people to find out.

I had to listen to him seduce a bunch of vines.

[That is literally the only answer ever needed for why Merle is shitty, because it's a memory that's so thoroughly burned into Taako's mind he doesn't think even the voidfish could erase it. Merle seduced a bunch of plants and they had a plant orgasm and it was the worst day of Taako's entire life.

There's also the bad at healing thing and the overall crabby attitude Merle has, which... has started to make more sense, now that Taako knows what they've all forgotten, but really the vine thing covers it.

And it's not that vital to this conversation, anyway, he can complain about Merle at length some other time, right now they're having a conversation about Cisco's kinda cool, kinda annoying powers. he has a few things he wants to say, but he's going to focus on what he thinks is the most important part, first:]

I'm not gonna tell anyone. [He hasn't told anyone about Clark, even if Clark is terrible at keeping his secret anyway. Taako can add another set of secret powers to his list.] Now, trust me, I know this is gonna sound like a stupid question, but have you practiced this shit? Tried to control it?

[He realizes he's running the risk of this being kind of patronizing, since Cisco is going to know his own situation better than some asshole who only just found out about it, but the reluctant way Cisco talked about metas, the fact he's kept it a secret, it makes Taako wonder if he's just... tried to ignore this, rather than embracing it.]

Edited (im good at writing) 2017-06-22 03:59 (UTC)

Yikes.

[ That sounds like a story and a half, and now thanks to his vibe, it's harder for Cisco to avoid conjuring up a mental image of it, when he's actually seen what Merle looks like. Ugh. No thanks. Sometime, he's going to have to ask how matters even came to that eventuality, but right now he's content to just leave it at 'I heard him fuck a plant'.

There's no mistaking the sheer relief that comes over Cisco when Taako says he won't tell anyone about his powers. It's actually a sign of trust, that Cisco doesn't press the point and double-check that Taako really means it. Cisco believes him, the tension gradually easing from his shoulders. ]

Thanks.

[ As for Taako's stupid question, well. It's less of a question and more of a bullseye right to the truth, calling him out. Cisco shifts his weight from foot to foot, combs his fingers through Garyl's mane as he shrugs. ]

Not really.

[ He doesn't think "desperately trying to pretend it isn't happening" is really what Taako means by trying to control his powers. The only control he's ever really tried to exert on his own is trying to break free from the visions, while they are happening. Right before he'd come to this place, he'd actually wished for one, for the first time. He'd gone into his lab and touched the sand on the slide so he could get a sense where Patty was being held. But that had been an anomaly, and a terrible choice, since it was what made Stein realize the truth. But he feels the need to justify himself, to make it clear that he hasn't done nothing. ]

One time, back home, my friends needed... needed information from one of my visions. About a timeline that got changed. And they figured out that putting me in a lucid dream with these goggles I made would make that happen. But it was, like. [ Cisco keeps his eyes fixed to Garyl's mane, not looking at Taako, and it's a bit suspicious how carefully bland his voice is describing all this, considering how animated and full of inflections and emotions Cisco's speech patterns usually are. ] Horrible. So. Not really looking for a repeat of... that.

[ Another shrug, just to show that it's all casual and not a big deal, nope, not even a little. Isn't he so convincing? ]

I haven't got a clue how I would even start to practice it or control it even if I wanted to. I don't know what triggers them in the first place.

[As chatty as Garyl can be, for now he's willing to shut the hell up and let Cisco and Taako talk, happy to just chill while he's being used an an emotional support animal, since even though he's kind of an extension of Taako's personality, he still doesn't have a whole lot of sentience or his own concerns in life.

Taako is quiet because he's listening, letting Cisco explain that no, he hasn't tried to control his powers, something that's still a little baffling to someone who couldn't wrap their head around not being absolutely psyched about gaining abilities. Magic was something he had to take for himself, and as much as he acts like it's the easiest thing in the world, Taako spent long years practicing hard, to get where he is today.

But he can tell that it's not... great, for Cisco, whatever happens. Taako isn't a stranger to making light of real shitty situations, he's joked about their deaths more times than he can count, and tries not to dwell on the fact it was genuinely fucking traumatic, a lot of the time. So that he gets, the dismissive way Cisco talks about how horrible it is, but he doesn't think that's a reason not to keep trying.]

I mean, you're the science guy, aren't you? Look at the data.

[Based on what he knows of Barold, and even Lup, who dabbled heavily in experimentation and all that science shit, he has a hard time believing that Cisco couldn't figure out what triggers his powers.]

And it sounds like you already got one clue. Lucid dreaming isn't the easiest shit, but it's a start, right?

[Sure, Cisco said the last time he'd tried it had been horrible, but Taako doesn't see that as a reason not to try again.]

That requires data to look at in the first place.

[ Cisco sighs, the corners of his mouth dipping into a frown. Taako has a point, and he can't deny it. It's never been a question of 'can't', not really. Only of 'won't'. It's not that he can't figure out his powers, but that he won't try. It must seem crazy and illogical to Taako, and Cisco is aware of that.

There are reasons, of course - plenty of them - why he hasn't wanted to go down this road. But those reasons are long, complicated, and excruciatingly personal. No way is he going to stand here and explain to Taako about how he'd first discovered his powers by reliving his own murder over and over and over again, or about all that creepy shit Dr. Wells said to him about his powers being a gift from him. All of that stuff just makes him way, way, way too vulnerable. He's already taken a huge leap of faith, admitting to Taako that he has powers at all (and even then, he hadn't mentioned anything about whatever it was he'd done to blast that monster that attacked him and Eddie, or about what Kara said about him opening breaches). ]

Yeah. I guess I can... look up lucid dreaming, try and figure out, y'know... what's up with my head. 'Cause when it started it was only when I was asleep, and I thought I was just having a lot of weird-ass nightmares, but it's been happening more and more when I'm awake, lately.

[ And right about then he needs something, anything at all, to lighten the mood. So Cisco reaches over to that little bag of sugar cubes Taako is still holding, only instead of feeding one to Garyl, he just pops one directly into his mouth. ]

You ever know anyone who had magic that gave them visions or who could see into alternate timelines or any of that?

[ Who knows - maybe it would be a help. Somehow. ]

[Honestly, eating an entire cube of sugar is a totally valid coping mechanism; Taako isn't going to judge.]

Well, yeah? You've got divination, the whole point of it is to see the future and hidden things and all that crap. [Again: super not his wheelhouse, and he thinks it's a bit of a wishy-washy kind of magic, hard to pin down and hard to use, which is why he rarely relies on it. He'd tried a divination spell with the portal and while he got something slightly useful, it's hardly the concrete answers he'd like.] And there's one spell that can fuck around with timelines, but we don't mess with that.

[Taako isn't at a high level enough to cast wish, and even if he was, it would have to be a very desperate situation for him to take the gamble on a spell that can backfire so horribly.]

I can, uh, shape dreams? Of other people? [It's an offering, sort of, although considering how difficult this whole thing seems for Cisco, he adds:] I get that's a big fucking leap, trusting someone to mess around in your head, but if you ever want to give it a shot...

[Maybe it would help?]

[ Cisco wonders; hidden things, he can see. Things that have already happened, things that have happened and then been erased. Could he someday see the future, too? He doesn't have a clue. Maybe Taako is onto something - maybe the not knowing really is worse than knowing would be.

The comment about messing with timelines surprises a little snort of laughter from Cisco. ]

Naw, leave that up to the speedsters.

[ Which is a joke that he would have gone on to explain, except then Taako is telling him that he can shape dreams, and Cisco goes still. It doesn't sound like a lot of the other magic Taako's told him about - most of that had to do with changing matter itself, one way or another. ]

Shape, like... how? [ There is some potential, there. If nothing else, if Taako can do all that, he could probably help the process along, getting Cisco into a lucid dream in the first place. The trouble is, every time he's vibed while he was asleep, it's always been the same. Always been Dr. Wells, in the basement, with the murder. ]

When you... do that, do you see what's in the dream?

[ He'll have to think about it - about that whole trust thing, and about whether it's a good idea to mix Taako's magic and his power in an unprecedented way. Maybe it would end up scrambling his brain. Maybe he'd get caught in some kind of horrible loop and never wake up. Or maybe none of that would happen. But if the process involves Taako seeing what he sees, well. That's a whole other thing to consider. The last time he'd tried the lucid dreaming thing there'd been a whole lot of screaming and begging for help and not a lot of dignity. He isn't really sure he wants Taako seeing him like that, even if there are no side effects. ]

[As far as Taako is concerned, all speedsters seem to do is create a whole lot of trouble, so he's happy to extrapolate based on his bias and what Cisco says, that apparently they fuck with time, too.

Idiots.]

Like, you know, I come chill out in your brain pan while you're sleeping and we can chat, but I'd be in control of the environment of the dream. The landscape and what's in there and all that shit. So yeah, I'd see what's happening.

[For a given value of seeing, since it's all in their heads, but he'd definitely be aware of it. He can create nightmares, too, and do some serious damage to a person, but he decides not to mention that part. It's not out of any ulterior motives, he just knows that he's not going to do that to Cisco, so it seems pointless to bring it up and cause any worries.]

Yeaaaahhh, so, here's the thing.

[ Cisco keeps his voice conversational, but he's sure none of what he's about to say is going to be a huge shock to Taako. He knows that it's probably obvious he's acting a bit squirrely and avoidant for a reason. Taako's not an idiot or anything. ]

I'm not saying definitely never. It's really nice of you to offer, and it's not like I think you would try to mess with my head or whatever. But, see... a lotta the time with my visions, it's like... [ Cisco shrugs, smiles a tiny brittle in a way that definitely has nothing to do with actual happiness. ] ...top ten hits of bad stuff that's happened to me, actually, and I'm not about to make you sit through that, you know? Even if you can change the vision so there's a scenic backdrop.

[ Cisco clears his throat; he doesn't mention that it's a question of privacy, as well. Just frames it as a desire to spare Taako from boredom or horror or some combination thereof. And maybe it's not ideal for the situation, but right now Cisco's just about reached his limit for talking about this. He asks, with false brightness and sudden vigor: ]

So are we gonna go on an adventure or what?

Edited 2017-06-23 04:48 (UTC)

[Taako is sometimes an idiot, but he gets what isn't being said and the real reasoning behind Cisco's excuse. It's why he doesn't bother to point out that he can handle whatever shit is likely floating around in Cisco's head, considering... everything that he's seen. Taako can't imagine letting someone see one of his own deaths, or one of Lup's or something like Glamoursprings.

So he just shrugs.]

Don't even sweat it.

[The reassurance that he knows Taako wouldn't mess with him isn't really necessary, and he's happy to move on to the adventure that was totally planned before they got side tracked.

Taako raises a hand to gently tug at the magic that is Garyl, forming a saddle. Then he flashes Cisco a grin.]

You wanna be the big spoon or the little spoon?

[ Cisco is relieved when Taako lets the matter drop, and he has to admit t himself that, all in all, the whole thing could have gone a lot worse. Taako knows about his powers, or at least a small portion of them, and he's not treating him any different. He'd nudged Cisco in the direction of figuring his shit out, but then he'd let him be.

So now Cisco can do what he's always done before, and compartmentalize the hell out of all that so he can go back to being the sunny, enthusiastic person that he would like to me. It's practically a visible process, the way he closes the door on the things he'd said and the things he'd only vaguely alluded to, and refocuses on the moment, and Garyl's new stylish saddle, and his grinning friend. ]

There's gotta be a better way to put it than that. [ But he's smiling, now, too, so mission accomplished. ]
Pretty sure you don't want a face full of backpack, so, um, big spoon it is

[ He pats Garyl's neck one last time and walks over to the stirrups. Sure, he's never actually ridden a horse before, but he's watched plenty of movies. How hard can it be? Well, actually, it is a little more awkward than he'd anticipated, but Cisco manages to get his foot into the stirrup and to haul himself somewhat ungracefully onto the saddle. It's a lot higher up than he'd imagined, but once he's settled in it is comfortable enough. ]

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