riverviewlogs | [open] we tried to bury it and rise above

Entry tags:

[open] we tried to bury it and rise above

who: taako/taaquito and you
what: catch-all + an open prompt for AU shenanigans
when: latter half of June
where: all around!!
warnings: violence/threats of sexual violence in the thread with

smokedout

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[ Cisco keeps clinging to Taako's sleeve without really thinking about it; he drags his other hand down his face, forcing himself to breathe slower, to calm down enough that he can speak coherently. Another floorboard, that had been dangling over the gap in the floor, drops down with a clatter, and Cisco abruptly declares: ]

Let's get outta here before the whole thing gives out.

[ He manages to get himself out the door on his shaking legs, and then sits heavily on a mossy bit of low brick wall just outside the warehouse. And that is good. He doesn't have to worry about toppling over, which frees up enough focus for him to actually talk. ]

I- you probably noticed I had another one of those weird vibes I get.

[ Cisco's still new to this, and he doesn't realize quite how completely unmistakable it is, when he has a vibe. He swallows and pushes his hair out of his face, then sits on his hands so it's not obvious how badly they're shaking. That near miss had really shaken him up, but he doesn't want to seem like a complete coward. ]

It was about you. Again. [ Cisco darts up a quick glance, apologetic, shoulders hunched. He despises the fact that just because he can't control his powers, he ends up spying on people's lives, invading their privacy. But if he can't stop it, the least he can do is admit to it, openly. ]

You were with the dwarf guy, and like, this weird... statue that was moving? And you, um, put on a bracelet, and this voice started talking in the air. It was- it seemed like it made you sad. Or confused. She - I think it was a woman - she said stuff about trusting Barry, and tried to tell you who she was, but there was all this weird static. I don't think that was the vision, I mean sometimes it's hard to hear but I think you couldn't hear it, either.

[Taako protests neither the hand gripping his sleeve or the decision to move outside, he just follows Cisco, keeping an eye on the floor beneath them until they're back on steady ground.

And then he wants, letting Cisco have a moment to collect himself because he realizes that not everyone is used to frequently nearly dying, and things like that are probably a little unsettling, when the come out of nowhere. Curiosity is itching at the back of his mind, but he can wait, he can be patient.

Until Cisco speaks, and Taako both wishes that he'd said something sooner, and that he hadn't said anything at all. The statue must mean Magnus, which means they're right after Wonderland, and if someone is telling him to trust Barry...

Something in Taako's expression almost crumples, before he clenches his jaw so hard his teeth ache, all in a valiant effort to not completely lose his shit. It has to be her, she's the only option, the only name that's erased by the voidfish.]

What did she sound like? Was it...

[Was it Lup? Except Cisco will have no idea what Lup sounds like.

With a shaking hand, Taako casts minor illusion, and the sound of Lup's voice fills the air, saying Barry's name, to make it easy to compare.]

Was it her?

[ Cisco had been hanging his head forward as he related what happened within the vision, staring at a blank patch on the ground so he could focus on the details and try to recall as much as possible. It can be difficult, sometimes, like remembering the finer points from a dream. So he doesn't see the stricken look on Taako's face while he speaks. He doesn't look up, in fact, until Taako casts that spell, and sure enough that same voice is in the air, saying the name 'Barry' in just the same way.

Cisco lifts his face, recognition obvious even before he says in an eager rush: ]

Yes, that's it, that's the voice. I'm sure of it.

[ But a few things aren't really lining up, here. It's the same voice, that much Cisco is absolutely certain of. But why is Taako acting like this is something he doesn't remember? Is it possible... he'd said earlier that in divination magic, people could see the future, as well as the present and the past. Had he caught a glimpse of something that hasn't happened for Taako, yet?

Before he can ask the questions he would need to ask to confirm that, however, he finally notices that something is definitely wrong. Taako looks upset. There's a rigidity in his expression that Cisco's never seen before. ]

Hey... Taako, you okay?

[Hope is a funny thing, especially for someone like Taako, who tries to deal with everything as practically and pragmatically as possible. Lup is a lich, this is a fact and it had been something to cling to after he remember that she died. Lup's umbrella remembers her, this is also a fact. It had burned her name into a wall and it had protected him against the ogres, against Sloane, but he doesn't know how the staff is doing it, if it was connected to her spirit or if she'd cursed it on some way. But the other facts are that neither he, nor Lucretia, nor Barry could find Lup. Her body was left in Wave Echo Cave but there's no sign of her spirit, and Taako can't comprehend her being around and not going to Barry.

But this, this is undeniable. Sometime, not long after Wonderland, he hears Lup's voice.

He's caught between crying and laughing, so relieved that whatever happens, there's still a chance, but it's all still a painful reminder that Lup was gone in the first place. In the end, he makes a choked little sound and covers his mouth with a hand.

The question goes unanswered, it doesn't seem important.]

It was Lup. I don't... She's okay?

[It's disbelief, he's still scared to hope.]

[ It doesn't really matter that Taako doesn't answer Cisco's question; it's pretty damn clear that whatever is happening, he is super not okay. In fact, he seems like he's trying not to cry, holding in some tide of emotion, but Cisco can't exactly tell what emotion it is. He's never really seen Taako lose control before. He's always been relaxed, or smug, or happy. On the few occasions he'd been a little serious, it had always been in a "real talk with your friend Taako" kind of way. This is something else entirely.

He remembers that Lup is Taako's twin sister; Taako had mentioned a few of their shenanigans from when they were younger, and that she had a thing with a human named Barry, but apart from that she hasn't really come up in conversation. And right at this moment Cisco is realizing that maybe there was a reason for that. Clearly, something awful had happened to her, or involving her, and without meaning to, Cisco has come along and torn something open that he doesn't understand. ]

I- I'm sorry, man. I didn't see her. I could only hear her voice.

[ He wants badly to be able to reassure Taako right now, but he doesn't understand magic or the context for the situation. Cisco screws his eyes shut and tries to replay it in his mind. If only he could control his powers, make it so he could go back and watch it again. ]

She um. She sounded really urgent? Like she really wanted to convince you this Barry guy was okay, and wanted you to get that it was her. But she didn't sound... I don't know, I mean, it happened fast, but she didn't sound like she was in pain or anything?

[ Cisco opens his eyes once more, looking up at Taako with concern written all over his features. ]

Sorry, that's all I've got.

Edited 2017-06-27 06:09 (UTC)

Lup's been dead for a decade.

[The words come out flat, falling out of him like they don't matter, like it isn't the worst thing that's ever happened to him. Lup dying, forgetting her, none of the other shit he's been through can even compare to how much that has hurt; he'd die a hundred more times if it meant she was okay.

He knows he needs to explain this, he can hear the distress in Cisco's voice over the fact he can't give Taako more, and he doesn't... that's not fair, to Cisco.]

She's a lich, was a lich. Like Barry but something went wrong and she never came back. It's been a decade. [Something pained creeps into his voice, no matter how hard he tries to hold it at bay.] I thought she was gone.

[But she's not. What Cisco saw is undeniable proof that something of Lup remains and Taako should be happy, but he just feels cold.]

[ The confirmation that what he'd seen must be a moment from Taako's future hardly even registers. In different circumstances, that would be a big fucking deal. But right now, it's an afterthought, compared with the revelation that Taako's sister is dead, and has been for a decade. It doesn't take a genius to guess how much that must have messed Taako up - they had been twins - and it retroactively puts a very different spin on those earlier conversations where Taako talked about how they celebrated their birthday together, or didn't, etcetera.

He hesitates, chewing at his lower lip in silence. Cisco feels like he is intruding on Taako's grief, like asking the questions bouncing around in his head would be taking advantage of Taako's emotional upheaval in a way that he really shouldn't. His own curiosity isn't what is important now. What's important is making sure Taako is going to be okay. Or... as okay as he can be, considering his sister is dead, was missing for 10 years, and he's only now learning that maybe that isn't the whole story. Grief like that is powerful, and not to be trifled with. ]

Like I said, I couldn't see her. But... she seemed pretty not-gone to me.

[ Cisco doesn't know if saying it will be a comfort to Taako, or if he's twisting the knife. He really really hopes it is the former. If only he knew more about liches, or ghosts in general, or he could just bring Taako along with him into the vision. He can't help but feel like this is a game of telephone, but one where he's trying to convey sensitive and complicated information of extraordinary emotional weight between two people who ought to just be able to communicate with one another directly. It's a very weird position to be in. ]

She seemed like she was trying really really hard to help you.

[Taako very suddenly wants to be anywhere but here, out in the forest with Cisco there, his grief like an open wound bleeding everywhere. It's bad enough that Eddie has seen this, that Clark has, but now he's adding one more fucking name to the list of people who've seen him lose it.

The only thing that keeps him from blinking out of existence is the knowledge that Cisco is trying very hard to help.

So Taako doesn't disappear, but he does take a step back, half turning until he finds a spot to sit, at which point he sinks down with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, hair falling to hide his face.

Not that it really disguises the fact the way his shoulders are shaking with sobs, but he can't do anything about that. He should say something, anything, but he knows he won't get the words out. He just needs a minute. This is a lot.]

[ Watching Taako silently glance around, sit himself down, and break down into silent tears is just about one of the most awful things Cisco has ever seen. He might not know Taako all that well yet, but he's gleaned from a comment here and there, and the way he'd navigated around potentially difficult topics like his relationship with Eddie, that he's not exactly the most emotionally open dude in the multiverse. There are guys like Barry, who don't even try to hide it when they cry, who can shed tears and then bounce back a few minutes later. And then there were guys who didn't do that, who bottled that shit up until something came along to shatter that barrier.

Right now, Cisco feels like the rock that's come crashing through and broken down the wall that was holding in this flood of grief. He can't help but feel guilty, and a little wretched. What kind of a friend is he? Taako had brought him out here to see this awesome warehouse of machines, just because he knew Cisco would like them. He'd saved Cisco's ass from a dangerous fall, and then Cisco had repaid him by making him break down sobbing.

He gets to his feet, still a touch unsteady as he approaches the spot where Taako has sat down. He perches nearby - close enough to reach out for, if Taako chooses to, but not getting up in his face. After a few moments, Cisco reaches over and, very gently, places his palm against the center of Taako's shaking back. It is a light touch, easy to move away from, if Taako wants. He doesn't say anything, because he knows there's not really anything more to say. ]

[Part of him keeps forgetting that Cisco is nearby, while the other part is hyper aware that he's not alone with this, that someone is peering in on his grief no matter how much it wasn't on purpose.

But the hand on his back helps steady him, and as much as he tells himself to pull away, he can't find it in himself to give up the only source of comfort that he has right now. It doesn't matter so much that it's coming from someone who he doesn't know all that well; he thinks of Cisco as a friend, but this is a little beyond that.

There isn't really much he can do about that, though, except appreciate the silent comfort until finally, Taako stops shaking. A quick prestidigitation clears up the mess that is his face, and he straights up a little, rubbing at his eyes.]

Sorry about that, pumpkin. My bad.

[As if he's apologizing for eating the last slice of cake or something equally innocuous, not the little breakdown he just had.]

[ Cisco's relieved that Taako doesn't move away from the contact, if only because it means he's made at least one right decision, about all of this. He sits in silence with Taako, just listening to his ragged breaths and the quiet sounds of the wind in the trees around them. Gradually, Taako's sobs subside.

It's a little jarring, the way Taako can just up and erase all traces that he'd been crying, presumably with magic. But it's not just that little glamour or whatever - the words he chooses and the voice he says them in all point to him trying to minimize what had just happened. It's definitely not fooling Cisco, but he's wise enough to play along. After all, it's a trick he's pulled, himself, in the past. How many times had he shrugged off some horrible hurt, smiled and said it was fine, everything was completely and totally fine?

So he lets Taako call him pumpkin, even though he gets that it's the kind of pet name that's there to create distance, not erase it. And when Taako sits up straight he lets his hand drop back down to his lap, playing along. ]

It's all good. No apology necessary.

[ He has a feeling that if he tries to say anything more about there being no 'bad' to apologize for, or if he attempts to coax any more information out of Taako about this mess, he is going to be pushing Taako much further away. There is one thing, though, that Cisco has to say, before Taako completely slams the lid on this whole thing: ]

Look, just- I'm the one who's sorry, okay? You were right earlier, I gotta get a handle on these visions, I can't just keep barging in on all this stuff in people's lives that ain't my business.

[ Which is also a roundabout way to imply that he isn't going to be demanding explanations or answers; that, as much as he is able, Cisco is going to try to stay in his lane. Even if he would really like to know about that static, and how Lup died, and a hundred other things, too.

He might not say anything like 'are you sure you're okay?' out loud, but Cisco can't really do anything about the obvious solicitousness and concern on his face. ]

[It's a relief that Cisco plays along with this bullshit; Taako knows that he can't exactly pretend like he didn't just spend a few long minutes crying about his dead sister, but at least they can move past it without dragging it out. He's been emotionally vulnerable enough in the last few minutes to last him the rest of the year.]

I mean, I'm not gonna argue that, cause this is as shitty as you as it is for anyone else.

[Cisco controlling his powers is a good thing, not just to keep him out of other people's lives, but for his own sake.

Taako almost leaves it at this, but...]

That was a good thing, what you saw. [As much as it was overwhelming and painful, he's so grateful to have it.] I dunno what it means, really, but Lup isn't gone, and that's everything. You know that, right?

[It wasn't on purpose, but Cisco has just given him the best gift he's received in a very long time.]

[ Cisco's grateful there seem to be no hard feelings about the breach of Taako's privacy. And it does him some good, hearing someone else acknowledge, for once, that his powers kind of suck. At least, as they currently manifest themselves.

But then Taako is going on, telling him that what he'd seen is good, that despite the tears it had helped him. Neither of them may actually understand it, but it means his sister isn't lost forever. That thought coaxes a tiny, wan smile to Cisco's face. It's kind of a strange thought - his visions bringing some measure of hope and solace to someone. That's only happened one other time, with Sand Demon, right before he'd come here. And as much as he'd like to dismiss his vibes as entirely a menace, maybe that's not quite the case.

Cisco doesn't quite trust his voice, and besides he doesn't know what he'd say in the first place. So he merely acknowledges Taako's roundabout thanks with a nod. It seems wrong, or at least a little contradictory, to feel a tiny rush of happiness over what had just happened. But if it's really true that he'd been able to give Taako evidence that things aren't as bad as he thought they were... wouldn't that be something? ]

We should head back before some monster decides to make us lunch.

[ There is an implied "if you're up to it?" in that statement; Cisco gets to his feet, glad to see that the post-adrenaline shakes have almost completely died down now. ]

[The implication is noted, and Taako gives himself another couple of seconds to get it together, leaning back and looking up towards the sky as he just breathes, almost like he's taking the whole world in from this new perspective.

Lup's not gone.

That changes everything, and with the tears and grief out of his system, Taako feels so much lighter. He hops to his feet, then reaches out to catch Cisco's wrist, holding him place for just long enough that Taako can lean in to give him a light kiss on the cheek.]

If you tell anyone about this, I'll totally kill you. [His voice is cheerful as he steps back, and it's only a little bit forced.] Ready when you are.

Edited 2017-06-27 14:18 (UTC)

[ Cisco worries for about 1 millisecond when Taako takes his wrist that he'll have another vision. He tries braced against it, and it's a relief when nothing happens. But that little moment of doubt means that he's distracted and that brief kiss to his cheek catches him completely off guard. Cisco actually lifts a hand up to cup his cheek where Taako had kissed it, his expression gently stunned.

The action, to him, speaks much louder than the ominous threat that comes after. Even if Taako used to be a mercenary, Cisco doesn't think he'd really kill him if he talked to someone about this. Probably. But since he hadn't been planning on telling anyone in the first place, it all works out. ]

My lips are sealed.

[ And he mimes zipping a zipper across his mouth. He might not be a great liar when directly confronted, but that doesn't mean Cisco's bad at keeping secrets. The trick to it is just to never let anyone suspect there's anything hidden in the first place. ]

Anyway even if I wanted to, which I don't, there's no way I could tell anyone because that'd mean telling them about my powers which is so not happening, so it's like, mutually assured destruction, man. No one wins in that situation.

[ It's true that Eddie knows about his powers, but Cisco figures it's up to Taako how much of this he tells Eddie and when, and he's not going to come close to interfering with that.

The two of them begin to make their way back towards the city, and it's not as thrilling as it had been riding Garyl, but Cisco appreciates the quiet. He thinks maybe the both of them needed a bit of it. It had been a pretty damn eventful day. After a little ways, when he's starting to settled down after the emotional rollercoaster, Cisco starts to talk about the most innocuous thing he can think of, which in this case just happens to be a guy he'd briefly dated in college who was really into hiking and rock climbing and posting facebook photos of himself in a kayak with a sunset in the background, that kind of thing. As they walk Cisco describes their fourth and final date, when the guy had tried to get Cisco to come hike with him to see a waterfall, and just about everything conceivable that could have gone wrong did. It was a funny story - unfortunate, but only in a frivolous rom-com kind of way. And it fills up the silence and passes time while the two of them walk. ]

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[open] we tried to bury it and rise above

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