riverviewlogs | [open] we tried to bury it and rise above

[ The Ronnie thing had weighed pretty heavily on Cisco's conscience, for that year, but once he found out he was okay, and got a chance to apologize, it isn't such a big deal, anymore. He's not proud of it, but he doesn't feel that guilt any longer. Especially not after he'd learned that the explosion was Eobard's fault in the first place, and there was nothing he or Ronnie could have possibly done to stop it once it got started. ]

It'd be more radioactive, anyway.

[ It isn't all that surprising that, if Taako has killed people on his adventures, and also been in various scrapes with his friends, at some point he probably thought he accidentally killed one of them. It's a little strange, trying to reconcile what Cisco has seen of Taako - just a chill fun dude who conjures unicorns and fancy rooms - and the snippets he's heard about what Taako's life was like before he came here. ]

[Cheerfully:] I'm gonna pretend I actually know what that means.

[He repeated 'thermonuclear' pretty well for someone who doesn't have a concept of nuclear energy, since most of the things in his world are powered by magic or some vague concept of coal-based electricity that's never explained in detail.

In order to avoid an explanation, though (it's not that he doesn't care, he just... doesn't.. care), Taako quickly adds on:]

We're like, five minutes away, you wanna actually go fast for a bit?

[It might be fun, or it might end in disaster! He'll leave the decision up to Cisco.]

Remind me to sit you down one of these days and explain nuclear physics. Don't worry, I'll make it educational and fun.

[ How could Taako possibly not want to learn things about fission and fusion and all that, when Cisco knows deep in his heart that nuclear shit is some of the most bonkers and entertaining of all science? But he's certainly not going to attempt to explain while on a horse, without any props to speak of.

Cisco tightens his grip on Taako's waist and focuses on holding tight to Garyl with his legs, and says: ]

Hell yeah, let's do this. Max warp, Garyl!

You'll have to fucking tie me down.

[Which could be fun in it's own way, but probably not in the way Cisco means.

Taako isn't going to give him enough time to respond, though, because as soon as Cisco says he's ready, Garyl picks up speed, skipping straight past a trot into a canter, because no one wants to be on a horse that's trotting. Garyl does his best to keep the ride smooth, although there's going to be a few more bumps at this speed, just nothing that's going to knock either of them out of their seats.

By the time they reach their destination (the outskirts of the abandoned city), Taako is about ready to be walking again, but he's hoping that Cisco had fun for his first horseback experience.]

[ Cisco is glad that Taako suggested they speed up for that last bit. It is exhilarating (he can't even imagine how much scarier it must be, to ride at a gallop), and with the wind in his hair and the scenery going by fast, he feels like he's gotten a little bit of a proper horseback ride. He doesn't falter or have any trouble with balancing, and when Garyl slows to a stop, he lets out a long, loud, delighted sigh.

Getting back onto the ground feels unnatural and strange, and Cisco wobbles for a second before his legs remember what they were supposed to be doing. But then he is looking around, at the abandoned buildings, eager to finally find out what it is Taako wanted to show him. It's a sign of just what a good day he's having, that he is all curiosity and excitement and not even a sliver of paranoia that this is some sort of horrible set up. ]

Never been out here before. Kinda creepy. Got that post-apocalyptic vibe, doesn't it?

[ He follows Taako, but takes his time gawking at the surroundings and taking it all in. ]

[As soon as they're both on the ground, Garyl says his goodbyes so Taako can dispel him with a wave of his hand, since there's no reason to extend the spell any longer than it needs to be, not that it really had that much time left on it anyway.

The rest of the journey is easy enough on foot; Taako leads Cisco past a few burnt out warehouses, all of which fit the vibe that Cisco suggests.]

You want creepy, I'll take you to the, uh, amusement park? That's what Bryn called it.

[It was very dilapidated and very unsettling, which Taako was kinda into.

The building he stops in front of is less creepy, though, having at least a handful of windows and the main doors intact, the latter of which are so heavy and rusted shut that Taako hasn't been able to open them. Which is where magic comes in.

He digs something out of his bag that looks suspiciously like a sling shot, aside from the fact there's nothing in it, when he pulls the pouch back and aims it at the door. Once fired, though, a circle hole appears in the metal, six foot in diameter, and Taako shoves the slingshot back in his bag.]

You wanna go in first or should I?

Noooooo thanks. Hard pass on the amusement park.

[ Cisco's seen too many scary movies and played too many survival horror games; he's not about to tempt fate by going to an abandoned amusement park. Some things are just not worth the risk.

A little of that same apprehensiveness creeps up on him, even thought the warehouse looks only a little ominous. Cisco watches Taako with his magic slingshot, fascinated but not wanting to interrupt. He has to suppress the urge to ask how it works, because of course the answer is 'magic' and anything beyond that, Taako probably isn't interested in.

Now is when that big backpack is going to come in handy; Cisco swings it off one shoulder and digs around in it until he pulls out a little hand-held flashlight, which he flicks on and says: ]

You go ahead, I'ma be right behind you.

[Wimp!!!

But Taako won't actually say that because having a survival instinct is a good thing, really, as is being prepared, since some self-centered elf forgot that humans can't see in the dark.]

Do me a solid and don't point that thing near my eyes.

[Dark vision is great, but it's less great when his eyes have adjusted to the dark and someone suddenly brightens the place, leaving him half blind.

With that, Taako steps through the hole, moving into the warehouse and stepping aside so that Cisco can make his way in. Unlike a lot of the other places, that have been taken over by the elements or monsters, this is relatively in tact. The machinery, complex robotics made of dulled metal, are still standing, and while Taako doesn't actually know what they made here, he figures the machinery alone will be interesting enough for Cisco, especially since it's so alien.]

What do you think?

[Did he do well? Please give him approval he craves that mineral.]

[ Cisco doesn't say anything at first; he is too busy shining the flashlight over various things in the room, looking for any signs of movement (he doesn't think there's any giant monsters, but there could be a raccoon or like, some rats, and he'd rather startle them away now rather than later). But as he's looking, he gets a glimpse at the machines, and it starts to dawn on him why Taako brought him, specifically, here.

And when it does, Cisco's mouth falls open a little in wordless delight. He walks over to the nearest of the machines, blows a big gust of air to get some of the dirt off, and then rubs his sleeve over it to clear away the rest, face alight with interest. He is enthralled enough by what he sees that he forgets to answer Taako's question at first, even though he heard it. There's no intention to be rude, but he is just too caught up in what the room actually holds. And really, that delay speaks volumes, perhaps even more than Cisco's belated. ]

This place is so dope. You found this?

[ He hurries over to another machine, this one looks like some kind of futuristic fabricator - a giant 3-D printer or something of that sort. Cisco pushes at a few buttons, trying to see if they're gummed up or if there might be any response. There is none, but he isn't even a little disheartened. ]

Have you looked at these?!

[ He whirls around at Taako to ask it, and remembers not to point the flashlight anywhere close to his eyes. What he doesn't seem to remember is that Taako probably couldn't give a shit about all this, apart from knowing it's some ancient and non-trashed tech that someone who is not him might be interested in. But Cisco is too wrapped up in his awe at the discovery to consider that Taako might not actually care for his own sake.

Cisco doesn't take his eyes off the machine as he reaches around in his bag and eventually produces a screwdriver, uses it immediately to get off a panel along the side of the fabricator. Cisco isn't going to really learn anything about it before he pops the hood, after all. ]

Oh, this is very weird!

[ He sounds nothing short of thrilled. ]

[The awed silence followed by Cisco running around like a kid in a candy shop is all the answer that Taako needed to be inordinately pleased with himself, because he is, because he totally nailed this. He doesn't even bother to point out the fact that he has literally no idea what any of this does, when Cisco asks if he's had a look at it.]

I haven't pulled anything apart yet. [As a bit of an explanation:] Sometimes I find shit worth selling, but this seemed up your alley.

[Even without Lup to help out, he's pretty good at scrapping, and it's an excuse to get out beyond the barrier that also brings in a little cash, but he'd held off on bringing anything from this place back, figuring Cisco might have the best use for it.]

So none of this belongs to anybody?

[ In other words, can he scrounge around for parts and not be stealing, since there are actually people who care about that sort of thing. Cisco gets out his phone and bends down, starts diligently taking pictures of the inner workings of the machine, so he can reference it later. As he straightens up to move on to a second machine, it occurs to him that he's forgotten something pretty important. He whirls around, pushes his hair from his face and says with a grin that goes from ear to ear: ]

This is place is fantastic, thank you!

[ And he throws his arms around Taako's shoulders for a brief burst of a hug, before he's off again, looking at a huge device the purpose of which he can't even guess. It takes a little while to even find a way to open it up, and once he does Cisco practically sticks his whole head into it. ]

I wonder why the just abandoned all this, seems like it's in pretty good shape to me.

Oh, god, okay. [They're hugging, that's fine, that's totally cool, it's especially cool that it's a brief hug which saves Taako from needing to return it before Cisco is off again, doing whatever the hell it is that Cisco does.

Taako self consciously straightens out his top, before finding a stable enough looking wall to lean against, assuming they'll be here a little while.]

I can answer that one, there was this big fuck-off snake thing nesting here. It's gone now, don't panic.

[ Cisco doesn't really notice any signs of surprise or discomfort from Taako vis-à-vis the hug, or even see him settling in to wait for a while. He has a bad habit of forgetting to accommodate other people, when he's too engrossed in some machinery. And that is definitely the case right now. ]

Why'd it have to be snakes?

[ Distracted as he is, Cisco couldn't resist going for the Indiana Jones quote. He continues for some time, taking pictures of everything he can, prying panels off, poking around in the metal guts of various devices. There are a few small items that are intriguing enough that, after a little initial reluctance, he slips into his bag to study at greater length back at his lab.

And once that rush of new discovery and curiosity has worn off, it starts sinking in that he can't learn everything about all the items in this place, and that he might need to come back again later. So he manages to cut himself off, trotting back over to Taako's side with a half-sheepish, half-thrilled little grin. ]

Whew, sorry to make you wait, got a little carried awa-

[ He's only a few feet away when, quite unexpectedly, the floor dips and buckles under him. Cisco hadn't even wasted time looking down, or thinking about the state of the floorboards. Clearly, it's not very good, because his momentum carries his weight forward onto his right foot and it plunges straight through the soft, rotted wood and down. It flashes through Cisco's mind that there must be a floor beneath this one, that he is going to fall through. Then pretty much all he thinks is: ]

Shit!

Fuck!

[There's not even a second of hesitation before Taako throws his hand out, casting the first spell that comes to mind, one he's used before in similar enough situations that it doesn't require any preparation. A large, shimmering hand reaches for Cisco, grabbing him around the chest before he can slip through the floorboards, Taako's own held half-closed to control the magic.]

I got you. It's all good.

[His heart is thudding somewhere up in his ears from the surge of adrenalin, but Taako keeps his focus and carefully lifts Cisco up, before setting him down on a more solid section of the floor.]

[ He's only falling for the briefest of moments, but it feels so much longer. There's that horrible lurch of falling when he didn't expect to, and he sees the horror on Taako's face, the way Taako reacts by throwing up his arms, but he's much too far to make it in time. That is, until Cisco remembers he's a goddamn wizard.

While it's infinitely preferable to plummeting down an entire floor onto god knows what, being grabbed in mid-air by a giant shimmery hand is not exactly the most relaxing thing in the world. Cisco doesn't fight the spell, but he doesn't look too calm about it, and the moment it lets him go, he moves away. He's torn between wanting to quickly put distance between himself and the hand and wanting to be careful where he sets his feet. Gratitude will come later, but for right now he is just too freaked out.

Cisco's whole body is shaking and he's not entirely sure his legs aren't going to give out at any second. A few pieces of debris fall through the new hole in the floor and go clattering down into the dark. He can feel how hard his heart is beating, hears his teeth chattering and clenches his jaw to try to stop them. Since his voice doesn't seem to be working just yet, he reaches out to touch Taako's elbow in thanks.

Except that, the moment he does, there is another sensation of falling. This one, however, is different. Cisco knows that, the moment his surroundings start to skip and jump and go shuddery. Then, he goes still on the outside as, for the second time that day, a vibe overtakes him.

He sees three figures coming from a cave - and now he recognizes that the dwarf has got to be Merle, and of course there's Taako, plus what looks like a walking wooden mannequin in armor. Cisco misses bits of their earlier conversation as the sound flickers in, but he sees Taako putting on some kind of accessory (and from the look on his face it's not just decorative). And then there's a voice, one that sounds a little familiar even though Cisco's fairly certain he's never heard it before. He doesn't know if that's him picking up on what someone else is feeling, or if it resembles a voice he HAS heard before.

The voice is saying to trust Barry, to love him, and Cisco watches Taako's face, to see if the words seem to mean anything to him. It's so strange, seeing him like this without Taako being able to see him or interact with him. The look on his face is quiet - sad, wistful, hurt, confused, and relieved all at once. Cisco might not fully understand what is happening, but he can tell the voice means something to Taako. She (whoever she is) seems to be trying to tell Taako who she is, but there is a weird static that is not anything like the static Cisco sometimes experiences in his vibes.

Before there is any sort of resolution, or answer, the blue-tinted world of the vision is flickering and fading out, and a moment later Cisco is back in that warehouse standing next to Taako, hanging loosely onto his sleeve, reeling from what just happened. Having one vision accidentally in front of someone was bad enough - but two in one day is unprecedented. They really are getting stronger, and more frequent... ]

You caught me.

[ An entirely belated observation. Cisco swallows, breaths still thin and too fast, and adds: ] Thank you.

[ And that's the one good thing about having already fessed up about his powers: no need to lie about what had happened after Taako swooped in to the rescue. ]

Edited 2017-06-27 04:26 (UTC)

[Unlike the unexpected hug from earlier, Taako has plans to be a little more receptive to the physical contact this time, assuming that it's a little more needed after that narrow miss. So when Cisco reaches out for him, Taako moves closer, about to lift a hand to put on his arm, before the vibe hits.

At least now he knows what it is, and he knows that the only thing he can do is wait it out. It's unsettling, still, to see Cisco go completely blank and he wishes there was something that he could do to stop it, but he's pretty fucking useless in this situation.

When Cisco finally comes back to himself, Taako has smoothed away any worry from his expression, and he just offers a smile in response to the thanks.]

Well, I for sure wasn't gonna carry you all the way back to the fence if you broke a leg.

[He wants to ask what Cisco saw, especially if like the earlier vibe, it was from his own past, but he... won't push, not just yet.]

[ Cisco keeps clinging to Taako's sleeve without really thinking about it; he drags his other hand down his face, forcing himself to breathe slower, to calm down enough that he can speak coherently. Another floorboard, that had been dangling over the gap in the floor, drops down with a clatter, and Cisco abruptly declares: ]

Let's get outta here before the whole thing gives out.

[ He manages to get himself out the door on his shaking legs, and then sits heavily on a mossy bit of low brick wall just outside the warehouse. And that is good. He doesn't have to worry about toppling over, which frees up enough focus for him to actually talk. ]

I- you probably noticed I had another one of those weird vibes I get.

[ Cisco's still new to this, and he doesn't realize quite how completely unmistakable it is, when he has a vibe. He swallows and pushes his hair out of his face, then sits on his hands so it's not obvious how badly they're shaking. That near miss had really shaken him up, but he doesn't want to seem like a complete coward. ]

It was about you. Again. [ Cisco darts up a quick glance, apologetic, shoulders hunched. He despises the fact that just because he can't control his powers, he ends up spying on people's lives, invading their privacy. But if he can't stop it, the least he can do is admit to it, openly. ]

You were with the dwarf guy, and like, this weird... statue that was moving? And you, um, put on a bracelet, and this voice started talking in the air. It was- it seemed like it made you sad. Or confused. She - I think it was a woman - she said stuff about trusting Barry, and tried to tell you who she was, but there was all this weird static. I don't think that was the vision, I mean sometimes it's hard to hear but I think you couldn't hear it, either.

[Taako protests neither the hand gripping his sleeve or the decision to move outside, he just follows Cisco, keeping an eye on the floor beneath them until they're back on steady ground.

And then he wants, letting Cisco have a moment to collect himself because he realizes that not everyone is used to frequently nearly dying, and things like that are probably a little unsettling, when the come out of nowhere. Curiosity is itching at the back of his mind, but he can wait, he can be patient.

Until Cisco speaks, and Taako both wishes that he'd said something sooner, and that he hadn't said anything at all. The statue must mean Magnus, which means they're right after Wonderland, and if someone is telling him to trust Barry...

Something in Taako's expression almost crumples, before he clenches his jaw so hard his teeth ache, all in a valiant effort to not completely lose his shit. It has to be her, she's the only option, the only name that's erased by the voidfish.]

What did she sound like? Was it...

[Was it Lup? Except Cisco will have no idea what Lup sounds like.

With a shaking hand, Taako casts minor illusion, and the sound of Lup's voice fills the air, saying Barry's name, to make it easy to compare.]

Was it her?

[ Cisco had been hanging his head forward as he related what happened within the vision, staring at a blank patch on the ground so he could focus on the details and try to recall as much as possible. It can be difficult, sometimes, like remembering the finer points from a dream. So he doesn't see the stricken look on Taako's face while he speaks. He doesn't look up, in fact, until Taako casts that spell, and sure enough that same voice is in the air, saying the name 'Barry' in just the same way.

Cisco lifts his face, recognition obvious even before he says in an eager rush: ]

Yes, that's it, that's the voice. I'm sure of it.

[ But a few things aren't really lining up, here. It's the same voice, that much Cisco is absolutely certain of. But why is Taako acting like this is something he doesn't remember? Is it possible... he'd said earlier that in divination magic, people could see the future, as well as the present and the past. Had he caught a glimpse of something that hasn't happened for Taako, yet?

Before he can ask the questions he would need to ask to confirm that, however, he finally notices that something is definitely wrong. Taako looks upset. There's a rigidity in his expression that Cisco's never seen before. ]

Hey... Taako, you okay?

[Hope is a funny thing, especially for someone like Taako, who tries to deal with everything as practically and pragmatically as possible. Lup is a lich, this is a fact and it had been something to cling to after he remember that she died. Lup's umbrella remembers her, this is also a fact. It had burned her name into a wall and it had protected him against the ogres, against Sloane, but he doesn't know how the staff is doing it, if it was connected to her spirit or if she'd cursed it on some way. But the other facts are that neither he, nor Lucretia, nor Barry could find Lup. Her body was left in Wave Echo Cave but there's no sign of her spirit, and Taako can't comprehend her being around and not going to Barry.

But this, this is undeniable. Sometime, not long after Wonderland, he hears Lup's voice.

He's caught between crying and laughing, so relieved that whatever happens, there's still a chance, but it's all still a painful reminder that Lup was gone in the first place. In the end, he makes a choked little sound and covers his mouth with a hand.

The question goes unanswered, it doesn't seem important.]

It was Lup. I don't... She's okay?

[It's disbelief, he's still scared to hope.]

[ It doesn't really matter that Taako doesn't answer Cisco's question; it's pretty damn clear that whatever is happening, he is super not okay. In fact, he seems like he's trying not to cry, holding in some tide of emotion, but Cisco can't exactly tell what emotion it is. He's never really seen Taako lose control before. He's always been relaxed, or smug, or happy. On the few occasions he'd been a little serious, it had always been in a "real talk with your friend Taako" kind of way. This is something else entirely.

He remembers that Lup is Taako's twin sister; Taako had mentioned a few of their shenanigans from when they were younger, and that she had a thing with a human named Barry, but apart from that she hasn't really come up in conversation. And right at this moment Cisco is realizing that maybe there was a reason for that. Clearly, something awful had happened to her, or involving her, and without meaning to, Cisco has come along and torn something open that he doesn't understand. ]

I- I'm sorry, man. I didn't see her. I could only hear her voice.

[ He wants badly to be able to reassure Taako right now, but he doesn't understand magic or the context for the situation. Cisco screws his eyes shut and tries to replay it in his mind. If only he could control his powers, make it so he could go back and watch it again. ]

She um. She sounded really urgent? Like she really wanted to convince you this Barry guy was okay, and wanted you to get that it was her. But she didn't sound... I don't know, I mean, it happened fast, but she didn't sound like she was in pain or anything?

[ Cisco opens his eyes once more, looking up at Taako with concern written all over his features. ]

Sorry, that's all I've got.

Edited 2017-06-27 06:09 (UTC)

Lup's been dead for a decade.

[The words come out flat, falling out of him like they don't matter, like it isn't the worst thing that's ever happened to him. Lup dying, forgetting her, none of the other shit he's been through can even compare to how much that has hurt; he'd die a hundred more times if it meant she was okay.

He knows he needs to explain this, he can hear the distress in Cisco's voice over the fact he can't give Taako more, and he doesn't... that's not fair, to Cisco.]

She's a lich, was a lich. Like Barry but something went wrong and she never came back. It's been a decade. [Something pained creeps into his voice, no matter how hard he tries to hold it at bay.] I thought she was gone.

[But she's not. What Cisco saw is undeniable proof that something of Lup remains and Taako should be happy, but he just feels cold.]

[ The confirmation that what he'd seen must be a moment from Taako's future hardly even registers. In different circumstances, that would be a big fucking deal. But right now, it's an afterthought, compared with the revelation that Taako's sister is dead, and has been for a decade. It doesn't take a genius to guess how much that must have messed Taako up - they had been twins - and it retroactively puts a very different spin on those earlier conversations where Taako talked about how they celebrated their birthday together, or didn't, etcetera.

He hesitates, chewing at his lower lip in silence. Cisco feels like he is intruding on Taako's grief, like asking the questions bouncing around in his head would be taking advantage of Taako's emotional upheaval in a way that he really shouldn't. His own curiosity isn't what is important now. What's important is making sure Taako is going to be okay. Or... as okay as he can be, considering his sister is dead, was missing for 10 years, and he's only now learning that maybe that isn't the whole story. Grief like that is powerful, and not to be trifled with. ]

Like I said, I couldn't see her. But... she seemed pretty not-gone to me.

[ Cisco doesn't know if saying it will be a comfort to Taako, or if he's twisting the knife. He really really hopes it is the former. If only he knew more about liches, or ghosts in general, or he could just bring Taako along with him into the vision. He can't help but feel like this is a game of telephone, but one where he's trying to convey sensitive and complicated information of extraordinary emotional weight between two people who ought to just be able to communicate with one another directly. It's a very weird position to be in. ]

She seemed like she was trying really really hard to help you.

[Taako very suddenly wants to be anywhere but here, out in the forest with Cisco there, his grief like an open wound bleeding everywhere. It's bad enough that Eddie has seen this, that Clark has, but now he's adding one more fucking name to the list of people who've seen him lose it.

The only thing that keeps him from blinking out of existence is the knowledge that Cisco is trying very hard to help.

So Taako doesn't disappear, but he does take a step back, half turning until he finds a spot to sit, at which point he sinks down with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, hair falling to hide his face.

Not that it really disguises the fact the way his shoulders are shaking with sobs, but he can't do anything about that. He should say something, anything, but he knows he won't get the words out. He just needs a minute. This is a lot.]

[ Watching Taako silently glance around, sit himself down, and break down into silent tears is just about one of the most awful things Cisco has ever seen. He might not know Taako all that well yet, but he's gleaned from a comment here and there, and the way he'd navigated around potentially difficult topics like his relationship with Eddie, that he's not exactly the most emotionally open dude in the multiverse. There are guys like Barry, who don't even try to hide it when they cry, who can shed tears and then bounce back a few minutes later. And then there were guys who didn't do that, who bottled that shit up until something came along to shatter that barrier.

Right now, Cisco feels like the rock that's come crashing through and broken down the wall that was holding in this flood of grief. He can't help but feel guilty, and a little wretched. What kind of a friend is he? Taako had brought him out here to see this awesome warehouse of machines, just because he knew Cisco would like them. He'd saved Cisco's ass from a dangerous fall, and then Cisco had repaid him by making him break down sobbing.

He gets to his feet, still a touch unsteady as he approaches the spot where Taako has sat down. He perches nearby - close enough to reach out for, if Taako chooses to, but not getting up in his face. After a few moments, Cisco reaches over and, very gently, places his palm against the center of Taako's shaking back. It is a light touch, easy to move away from, if Taako wants. He doesn't say anything, because he knows there's not really anything more to say. ]

[open] we tried to bury it and rise above

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