memories are what make us who we are

[advanced]

who: Bucky and OPEN
what: Memory sharing event (within dreams)
when: October 9th - 23rd
where: Inside dreams
warnings: Torture, forced memory loss, gore, violence, Nazis.

note: I'll be doing a new dream memory for everyone that tags in, if there are specific subjects you would like to avoid then please note them in your tag/subject line and I'll make sure to tailor the dream accordingly. This can also be used for Bucky to view return dream memories. Open to new and old CR, and you don't need to plot with me first; but if you'd prefer to then I can be reached on plurk at bibbety

[Bucky tries not to sleep too often even when there aren't oddities happening when he closes his eyes, but even he can't stay awake forever. He's only human, after all, the serum doesn't change that much about him.

But when he closes his eyes and drifts off, he's not expecting to be standing as an observer of his dream, like it's an incredibly realistic movie, and he's certainly not expecting someone to be stood beside him looking on.]

You're not supposed to be here.

[Depending how late in the event it is, and how many people he's seen in his dreams already, that statement ranges from confusion to tight irritation in tone.]

Comments

[somnioergosum]

I'll try not to hold it against you.

[And yet Ronan can't help but look at this other Bucky. He's guessing that this isn't a military operation. Operation Wasted would be a bad name anyway.]

One of your nightmares?

[advanced]

No, just a dream.

[He does have nightmares a lot of the time, but this isn't one of the missions that had involved a child or even one he remembers that well, so he doesn't count it as one of the worst to see.]

I guess I don't have a choice in having you along for the ride, huh?

[somnioergosum]

I'd close my eyes and count to ten but something tells me that won't help.

[He takes his time to look at their surroundings.]

Closing my nose might.

[advanced]

We won't be down here long.

[He nods his head towards the other him who is already climbing a ladder towards the surface, movements quick but totally silent.]

[somnioergosum]

[Ronan looks from Bucky to Bucky.]

Where are we going?

[He asks but doesn't make any move to follow. It's not his head. He's an asshole, but one who knows better than most people that a person's mind is their own. You should only come in with an invitation. He's the intruder here.]

[advanced]

Underneath a conference centre, there are some important business meetings happening upstairs and we're going to blow the whole place up.

[It served the dual purpose of sending those companies into disarray and of sparking off further terror threats to destabilise and weaken, all to HYDRA's plan. He had just been the method of execution.]

The cellars are above us.

[somnioergosum]

What?

[Ronan doesn't sound particularly surprised-- although he is. The single word is simply a demand for an explanation, preferably without Bucky sounding as blasé is now. But Ronan hasn't come to expect anything else from hitmen or whatever this guy is.]

You want to run that by me again?

[advanced]

You heard what I said.

[He sounds completely emotionless about the whole thing. He's not, but it's much easier to pretend, much easier to keep everything buried.]

We have to follow and watch, that's how it works.

[somnioergosum]

[Ronan stares at Bucky, sharp and silent.

Not that Ronan hasn't hung out with assassins before, but it's not exactly enjoyable, and he certainly doesn't want to see them in action.]

Not exactly the explanation I was looking for.

[advanced]

I don't have an explanation, I don't know why I was sent to kill them.

[He just followed his orders, nothing more.]

[somnioergosum]

[Ronan's lip curls. Isn't that just always the case with hitmen.]

How much did you get paid?

[advanced]

Nothing.

[He looks almost surprised by the question, as if he never even considered that.]

I didn't do that kind of work.

[somnioergosum]

[By now, Ronan's eyebrow is in danger of becoming permanently arched. As for his scowl, that's been a fixed feature of his for some time, and there's no threat of change there.]

Wait. You're telling me that you blew up a building for free and never asked why? What's the deal?

[somnioergosum]

[Ronan's lips thin even further. Fine. Time to be blunt.]

What are you? A terrorist? Government agent?

[advanced]

I'm not either, not any more.

[He knows this isn't enough explanation, but how does he even go about explaining HYDRA to someone else?]

I was a weapon, that's all. I went where I was pointed and I did what I was told, I never questioned why and I never got paid.

[They're up in the basement of the building now and the Soldier is expertly attaching explosives to various load bearing walls and pillars to make sure the destruction is maximised.]

[somnioergosum]

Are you ever going to tell me what actually happened or are you gonna keep dodging?

[Ronan has avoided answering questions too many times not to recognize it. Not that Bucky is making it hard. He underestimated how annoying it is to be on the other side.

He watches as the dream Bucky sets the bombs. His mouth twists into a frown. How long does this memory last?]

[advanced]

Why should I tell you the whole story, what right do you have to know it?

[At least he's not lying about hiding things, but he doesn't know Ronan nearly well enough to just tell him all about HYDRA. Not that he might have a choice, depending how long it is before he wakes the hell up.

The Soldier finishes setting the charges and climbs back down into the sewers again, taking a different route back.]

[somnioergosum]

None. Just wanted you a straight answer. Guess that's the best you can do.

[Ronan follows, grateful to leave if not for what will come after.]

Go ahead and blow shit up.

[advanced]

If this were your memory, would you tell me the whole story?

[There's the distant sound of an explosion not long after, a low reverberation that seems to shake the very tunnels themselves, and then silence.]

[somnioergosum]

Couldn't say. I'd never blow up a building full of people.

[As the tunnel shakes, he keeps his eyes on Bucky, waiting for the reaction, even if it's no change at all.]

[advanced]

[The Soldier has no reaction at all, Bucky at least looks guilty.]

A lot of good people just died. I didn't know that at the time, but I know their names now.

[somnioergosum]

[There's no point in asking questions, so Ronan just stares. His silence is a heavy thing, a weapon of its own. Maybe Christians aren't supposed to judge, but his glare carries an an abundance of it.]

You must have a hell of a time at confession.

[advanced]

[That's such a bizarre thing to say that his lips actually twitch upwards in traitorous and not at all appropriate amusement.]

I stopped believing in God a long time ago.

[somnioergosum]

[Somehow, Ronan finds it more comforting that Bucky has an expression other than stone-faced. Not by much,
but it's a start.]

That's one way to solve the problem.

[He pauses.]

Do you regret it?

[advanced]

Yeah.

[The Soldier leads them out of the sewers and into a back alley, where he takes up a position to stand and watch the emergency services working, making sure that all the people he needs to have killed are coming out in body bags.

One doesn't, and so a gun comes out, a headshot made from a long distance.]

I think that it's because I regret it that I dream about it, it's the dead getting their revenge.