riverviewlogs | [open] cast an illusion

Entry tags:

[open] cast an illusion

who: cisco + anyone!
what: memory share event & catch-all
when: october
where: anywhere
warnings: murder, torture, bullying

MEMORIES

Feel free to either have your character text Cisco (or comment on this post but indicate a text message) about having a vision / dream of his past, or to come to where he is to discuss it.

A. MURDER {third person dream OR first person vision}

[watch here

This memory is both intensely traumatic and one that Cisco has relived many many times. Have fun with it if you want, there may be small distortions - sometimes Cisco seems to remember Eobard's demeanor being gleeful, even smiling as he kills him. There may be odd gaps here and there, as well as inconsistencies. Or you can play it totally straight, just as it happened.]

B. VIBING {first person; vision}

[watch here (memory lasts up 'til 2:30)

This memory is likely to come across in jumbled pieces at first, and then more clearly as the week progresses. What's most important is that this memory captures the subjective experience of vibing from Cisco's perspective. So at one moment the memory is of looking down at a microscope slide of sand, feeling intense unease and fear, to hands reaching out and touching the sand. Once that contact is established, there is a swooping feeling, like missing a step going down stairs or plummeting on a roller coaster, and then the world goes static-y, with strange flashes of light, blurred vision, and an eerie blue tint. The warehouse that Cisco sees feels intensely present, though sounds are a bit muffled and occasionally there are jumps and starts. The end of the vision is as jarring as the start, and afterwards there is the confrontation with Stein, and a palpable feeling of panic over being interrupted and witnessed.]

C. PRISONER {first person; vision}

[watch here

This memory is clear and vivid, accompanied by feelings of hunger, exhaustion, frustration. Feel free to supplement after the cutoff at the end of the scene a moment where Cisco begs that he's already made them weapons (the heat, cold, and gold guns) and that's enough, and also Snart threatening to just out and out kill Dante, both of which are confirmed to happen but aren't shown in the clip I linked.]

D. BABY NERD PT 1 {third person; dream}

[ Cisco can't be older than nine or so, and he's adorable. We're talking a criminally cute child. His hair is cut short, which makes his ears stick out a little, and there's a tooth missing his bottom row of teeth. He's small for his age, (looks even smaller because he's wearing what are clearly hand-me-down clothes), all round-cheeked and bright-eyed. He comes bounding up to a bench in what looks like a small neighborhood park. Sitting on the bench is a pretty brunette girl with a high ponytail and big earrings, and a boy that looks a little like Cisco, around five years older. Cisco, bubbly and excited, asks: ]

Hey Val, hey Dante, do you wanna see what I made?

[ Dante, who has a hand very obviously and purposefully perched on Val's knee, glares absolute daggers at his little brother, but before he can say anything she answers with genuine interest: ]

Yeah, totally.

[ Cisco beams and pulls the lid off the shoebox. Inside is rather ugly-looking device, clearly cobbled together with materials from a bunch of different things. But Cisco pulls it out carefully as if it's the most precious thing on earth and holds it up, explaining in a delighted rush, what it is and how he made it. He has apparently cobbled together pieces from a broken cell phone, an old malfunctioning digital camera, and a half-smashed mp3 player, into a frankenstein'd device that can take pictures, make phone calls, and play music, too. Val sits up as he explains, going from indulgent to this kid with his little doodad to genuinely excited. Cisco hands it over to her and she tests it out, taking a photo of the beaming Cisco, clicking a number code onto the pad which makes 'I Could Fall In Love' by Selena play (though only loud enough that she has to hold the thing to her ear like a phone to hear it). Then, she even uses it as a phone, calling her mom, exclaiming that it really works, and hanging up again. ]

Cisco, this is so cool.

[ She jumps to her feet, saying that she's got to go get her best friend from the corner store across the street to bring her to see it, too, and goes rushing off. Cisco just stands there, holding the thing and beaming like he's never been more proud of himself in his entire life. ]

E. BABY NERD PT 2 {third person; dream}

[ (Continued from the last one, for anyone who wants an angst component)

As this scene was happening with Val, Dante was getting more and more visibly annoyed, trying to redirect attention back to himself. As soon as she leaves Dante snatches the device from Cisco, turning it over once or twice, unimpressed. Cisco's face falls, shifting from joy to trepidation, like he knows something bad is going to happen. Dante doesn't disappoint; he tosses the thing in the air and then catches it as it falls. Cisco pleads: ]

Dante, don't!

[ Which, of course, only seems to encourage the older boy. Dante throws it into the air, higher this time, and catches it, but Cisco winces, clearly terrified that he'll drop it. He tries to grab it away from his older brother, but Dante gets to his feet, holding it above his head. ]

Come on, don't be such a fucking girl, I'm not gonna drop it.

[ He tosses it into the air with enough momentum to it goes behind him and he has to spin to catch it. Cisco keeps pleading with him to quit it, trying to wrestle it away from Dante, who only laughs. It's inevitable, what happens eventually. Dante hurls the thing much too high, and it's hard to say, whether he was really trying to catch it or not. Either way, it slips between his hands and crashes onto the asphalt, shattering into about a dozen pieces. Cisco scrambles to pick up all the pieces, but the lens from the camera has shattered and the casing is cracked. ]

Oops.

[ Dante shrugs, sounds absolutely unapologetic. Cisco starts sniffling, fighting back tears as he tries to fit the thing back together. He starts putting the pieces back into the shoebox, wiping tears from his cheeks as they start to fall but saying nothing, not even looking at his brother. Dante, for his part, says scornfully: ]

Seriously, Cisco, it was an accident. You gotta stop being such a sissy all the time. It doesn't look good.

[ Then he walks off in the direction that Val had gone without another word, leaving Cisco to clean up the rest of the mess. ]

OR hit me up on plurk to plot something else!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

it's not my favorite topic of conversation
but you don't gotta apologize
none of this is on you, dude.

[ Cisco types yeah i'm fine, deletes it, types it again phrased slightly differently, deletes it again. ]

i'll live

[ It's a joke, get it? So funny. ]

[hm. It feels wrong to just drop the conversation there.]

you sure you don't want me to like bring you some candy or something?

[ Cisco doesn't answer right away, torn between his desire not to be a burden and the fact that he really, really is not loving being alone right now. ]

you know i never say no to candy. 🍭

[ And then, because this is Magnus and Cisco feels bad for being so weird about all of it, and so bad that Magnus had to see what he'd seen in the first place: ]

and some company would be nice.

[Truthfully, Magnus had made his way out the door before Cisco had sent his reply.]

great! you at home?

[After stopping by a convenience store to buy way more candy than two people could possibly enjoy in one sitting, he marches off in the direction of Cisco's place, once again, before waiting for Cisco to answer.]

[ Cisco had been planning on leaving for his workshop, before Magnus texted, but he's abandoned that plan entirely. So he is, in fact, at home, and he answers the door when Magnus rings the doorbell. He's dressed normally, isn't crying (the way he had been, in that nightmare memory), but Cisco seems... smaller. His movements are smaller and slower and there's something a touch forced in his slightly dimmed smile as he says: ]

Hey, Magnus. You weren't kidding about that candy, huh?

[ He snags a bag off the top of the pile in Magnus's arms, and takes it with him inside. Cisco makes his way to the couch and perches on it cross-legged, assuming Magnus will follow and join him. Shadow jumps up as if on cue, butting his head against Cisco's knee and hands, demanding pets, which gives him something to do with his hands at least. A little too brightly, he asks: ]

So how you doing. Apart from the, like. Super cool watch your friend get murdered dream.

[ See he can joke about it and be casual! He is fine. Super fine. The finest. ]

I never kid about candy, my dude.

[Immediately Magnus catches onto Cisco's restricted demeanor. Even when they were together in that dreamscape, watching Magnus's literal funeral, Cisco didn't seem so meager. But, he doesn't push buttons—for now. It seems like a better idea to keep his energy up. He takes a seat next to Cisco, pulls an arbitrary piece of candy out of his shopping bag, and begins unwrapping it.]

I'm doing fine. But I wanna know how you're doing. You good, man?

[He's more or less asking What's Wrong without actually asking Cisco for any specifics. He's not sure yet if that's a good idea.]

[ When Magnus sits next to him, Cisco hesitates a moment, torn between the desire to come across like he's perfectly fine, and the fact that he's actually super shaken up by all of this. He can't stop going over it in his mind; what must it had looked like, to Magnus? How could he possibly avoid thinking about Cisco differently, looking at him differently, now that he knows. Cisco's stomach twists unhappily, and he lets himself scoot a little closer and lean his head against Magnus's shoulder. Still pretending to be casual... for the most part. ]

Never better.

[ There's a dry and awful humor in that, and Cisco reaches blindly into the bag and grabs a mini candy bar, shoving it in his mouth like someone who is very much not doing good. That gives him an excuse to be silent for a little while as he chews, but it turns out the silence is even worse than the talking had been. Without meaning to, as soon as he can, Cisco blurts: ]

Do you think I'm a coward?

[ Cisco had just stood there, after all. He hadn't tried to run or fight back. He hadn't even been able to keep his head held high and defiant or any of that. He'd cried and flinched but stayed frozen where he was, too scared to move. And Magnus had seen that. Magnus, who leapt into bear enclosures for people he'd barely met. Who had fought the Hunger, which was ten thousand times more frightening than anything Cisco had ever encountered. It seems only reasonable, that someone so brave would think less of Cisco, after what he'd seen. ]

[Magnus hums a little satisfactory hum when Cisco leans into him. He is officially fulfilling his duty as a comfort pillow. Plus, it feels like a small victory to get Cisco to stop pretending that he doesn't need the comfort. He follows Cisco in shoving a whole mini candy bar in his mouth (although this is normal for Magnus), and they chew in silence.

But, when Cisco poses this question to Magnus, he's taken aback. He shifts and takes Cisco by the shoulder so he's looking him in the eye.]

Whoa, dude. Of course not. Why would I think you're a coward?

[Well, he knows the answer to that question—he could feel Cisco's fear while he was in that vision. But Magnus hadn't perceived that as cowardice.]

[ Cisco tries to meet Magnus's gaze, but it's hard to do for longer than a few seconds at a time. He looks earnest, and worried, and kind, and somehow that makes all of this even harder. It shouldn't, logically. But if Magnus or anyone else were an asshole about it, Cisco could throw up some walls, retreat behind them, pretending it was nothing and be an asshole right back. It's harder, being honest, with somebody who cares and doesn't hide it.

At first he just gives a tiny shrug, swallowing as he searches for his voice. He doesn't speak until he knows he can do it without his voice cracking, but it's a near thing. ]

I didn't try to fight or anything. I was so scared I couldn't move.

[ Eddie had reassured him more than once that it was a common enough reaction to danger, that his sadness over Eobard's betrayal had probably contributed. That he logically couldn't have gotten away or hurt the speedster anyway. But still, thinking of Magnus staring down a bear in that zoo enclosure, and then thinking of himself crying and just waiting to be killed... well, pretty big difference there. ]

His ghost keeps showing up. 'Cause of the... whatever it is. Lucretia did a ward so he can't get to close to me but I still see him following me.

[When Cisco mentions the ghost, Magnus turns his head quickly toward the nearest window. It makes Magnus’s blood boil knowing that Eobard is out there, right now, even if he isn’t really—but as angry as he gets, he’s learned that sometimes anger isn’t the right response. That’s not what Cisco needs right now. It’s probably apparent that Magnus had to calm himself down when he turns back around to face Cisco again.]

That’s good. That she did that. [He pauses—he’d gotten a little lost when he nearly jumped to rush Cisco’s ghost that he forgot what he was even going to say before that.]

Being scared doesn’t make you a coward. I saw everything—there was nothing you could have done any differently. Don’t blame yourself for what he did.

[After having said this, he starts to pick up on Cisco’s feelings of inferiority.]

I hope you’re not comparing yourself to me, dude. I’m an idiot, remember? I have, like, no sense of self-preservation.

[ Cisco watches as Magnus turns to the window, looking outside - probably for any signs of a ghost who looked like the man he'd just seen killing Cisco in his dream. It's hard to say whether he spots him or not; Cisco stops himself from following Magnus's gaze to check, too. But he watches his friend bristling, and then slowly mastering it, and that makes something in Cisco's chest feel a touch warmer. ]

I don't blame myself, I just... [ Cisco drops his gaze to his hands where he picks at a cuticle, too nonchalant, badly covering up how much effort it's taking to keep some semblance of composure. ] ...it's just weird, thinking about you like. Watching it. 'Cause... when I realized he wasn't gonna let me outta there alive I felt like. [ Cisco pauses to swallow, then shrug. ] Like the most alone I've ever felt in my whole life, you know?

[ He rubs his hands over his face, feeling idiotic for the way his voice cracks a bit at the end of that question. He leaves his face in his hands, but he laughs softly when Magnus calls himself an idiot. His voice is a bit muffled as he says: ]

You're not an idiot, you're just a hero. Heroes gonna hero.

[When Cisco says he’d felt alone in that moment… that gets to Magnus. Even if he couldn’t help it—even if he wasn’t in the same universe at the time—he’d felt guilty about the idea of not being there to defend Cisco. He can’t bear the idea of leaving any of his friends to face danger alone. Magnus doesn’t even think first; he just reaches out and pulls Cisco into his arms.]

You don’t have to feel that way ever again.

[It’s not exactly a promise Magnus can make, with the possibility that he and Cisco may part ways in the future if one of them returns to their home universe, but he means it nonetheless.

Anyway—good, he got a smile out of Cisco with that jab at himself. That’d been his intention.]

Okay,   I’m a hero and an idiot.

[ Logically, Cisco knows it's not a sustainable promise. Dying had taught him that; promises, and friends, and safety could only go so far. He knows that, realistically, if he ended up trapped with a murderer again, there's likely no way Magnus would even know about it, much less be able to stop it. Nor would Taako, or Eddie, or anyone. It could happen, and words wouldn't matter at all. Cisco knows that.

But just for a few moments, while Magnus is hugging him, Cisco tries to forget that. He hugs back, tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. Even if words are only words, it's nice, hearing them. It helps, a little bit, and so does the hug. ]

Thank you, Magnus.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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