[april catch-all]

[spellslots]

who: Taako & various
what: What it says on the tin! Assorted threads for April that don't fit anywhere else
when: Aprilllll
where: Your mom's bedroom
warnings: drugs, booze, probably some slightly nsfw content
notes: hmu if you want something

Comments

[spellslots]

Ohhhhhh my god.

[Please don't drop him while he giggles like the absolute jerk he is.]

You're so fucking ridiculous, I love it. Is it exhausting spending like ninety percent of your fucking time pretending you're not a cheesy asshole?

[Taako could not sound more fond right now.]

[signifies]

[ He winks. ]

I make an effort just for you.

[ People are usually looking at something else about him tbh. ]

[spellslots]

[Clark's a monster.]

So that's what this is, huh?

[Taako no.]

[signifies]

[ Taako yes. Clark laughs. ]

We're here.

[ Clark descends slowly. The campsite has a dilapidated house Clark has fixed up for storage and shelter. In front of it, he's built a fire. It's in a wide clearing, with the treeline some distance away. ]

There's a way back to the perimeter over there. You keep walking until you find the path.

[spellslots]

[Once Taako is back on his own feet he takes a second to fix up his clothes, despite the fact they're barely ruffled.]

If you're not flying me back I'm absolutely teleporting, my dude.

[He's too lazy to walk that far. Or maybe he'll summon Garyl and they can take a casual ride back through the forest. Either works.]

Kind of a shitty house you got here.

[No offence.]

[signifies]

I don't really need sleep.

[ Like a lot of what he does, Clark is a man of of habit. He wants to look and feel normal, so he eats, sleeps, and pretends he's not from space. ]

What are we going to do?

[spellslots]

Welcome to the club.

[Taako doesn't "sleep" technically, he meditates for four hours a night and spends the rest of the time being really bored because no one else is awake.

But! moving on; Taako huffs out a breath as he eyes Clark.]

Well, for starters we know that illusion shit works on you. [Clark's never commented on his appearance changing, so it must.] I was thinking we could try a spell from every school, that'll cover the whole board at least as far as what I can do.

[signifies]

[ Clark will join him if he doesn't mind company.

He nods. ]

I'm ready when you are.

[spellslots]

[Please do his life is suffering.]

Allllllright. [He's not worried he's going to hurt Clark, Taako knows his own power pretty well, but it's still a tiny bit nerve-wracking.] Gnna start with an evocation one, magic missile since it's the weakest one I got. If you get in a fight with someone that's gonna be the first shit they go for.

[Clark gets to see a new thing from Taako, which is that he leans the umbra staff against a tree and pulls out a simple wand, instead. He points it at Clark and exhales, then casts magic missile with a little flourish of the wand.

Three bright darts shoot from the wand, two veering off to hit a random tree as the third strikes Clark in the chest for a grand total of 3 points of damage. It's not a whole lot, but he might feel it.]

[signifies]

[ He stumbles back because he feels it.

Clark's hand reaches to curl over his chest. The shock is obvious from his face that he's never felt anything like this before, let alone something that could hurt him.

If it was a stronger spell, it would have pushed him back or floored him. ]

That stung.

[ He looks at Taako. ]

Is that the most you can do with it?

[spellslots]

[He helped kill Brian with a magic missile, so he's not entirely shocked that Clark feels it, in part because there's a difference between hearing about someone being invulnerable and, well, being the invulnerable person.

But he can see Clark's surprise, and there's worry on his face for a moment, hastily smoothed away when Clark looks back at him.]

Uh, I can make more missiles, but it doesn't get much stronger. It's guaranteed to hit, you know? So there's a trade-off.

[It's a homing missile, essentially, but that makes it weaker.]

[signifies]

[ It didn't draw blood at least. Clark waits for the sensation to fade before nodding at Taako. ]

All right. What's next?

[spellslots]

I was gonna try making you sleep, that's an enchantment, but if you're like us elves then it might not work anyway.

[He hums, thoughtful, but he did have a back up for every spell he decided on for this little experiment, so:]

Okay, I got it. A lotta enchantment is a contest of wills, but try not to fight this one, we're not here to find out if you're fucking smarter than me. I wanna see what happens once this is successful.

[With another flourish of his wand, Taako casts hold person, and he's asking Clark to fail his wisdom saving throw. If he does, he won't be able to move.]

[signifies]

[ Clark has a high wisdom and constitution bonus though.

He won't fight it. ]

[spellslots]

[Well, from his end it feels like it worked.

Man he's just burning through spell slots today though, hopefully nothing goes tits up before he can rest.]

See if you can move, you should be paralyzed.

[signifies]

[ He is.

A small part of Clark's mind is very afraid of the world of possibilities that has opened because of this. He's asked Taako about his magic and understands it. Other worlds don't work the same way.

He'll have to tread carefully. ]

[spellslots]

[With a wave of his hand, Taako drops the spell.]

You okay, bubbale?

[Clark thought he was invulnerable, he's clearly not.

That's... probably a little rough, and Taako is wondering if maybe they should stop in the wake of this revelation, give Clark some time to process.

Not that he's being considerate or anything.]

[signifies]

[ He gasps when he can move again.

It's terrifying but now he knows he can feel pain like other people do. There's just less that'll hurt him comparatively. ]

I'm all right. We're not using up your spell slots too fast are we?

[spellslots]

If you wanna make this about me so you can take a second, then sure, I'm totally burning spell slots too fast.

[He offers a smile, halfway towards reassuring.

It doesn't really work like that; they'll be gone when they're gone, whether he does it all in five minutes or five hours, and he was prepared to spend the rest of his evening without a few of those lower level spells.

But if Clark needs to take a break, they can pretend it matters.]

[signifies]

[ He smiles back. ]

I'm all right. I mean it.

[ Clark knows he's safe in Taako's hands. It's okay for him to feel afraid. ]

I'd rather get this over with today.

[spellslots]

If you're sure.

[He isn't entirely convinced but he won't push it, either, though is does decide to switch up which spell he was going to go for next.

He smile widens.]

Wanna turn into a dinosaur?

[This is a higher level spell than he was planning to use, but it isn't harmful, so he's thinking it'll be less unsettling.]

[signifies]

Are you serious?

[ Clark is a huge nerd. ]

[spellslots]

[He knows.]

Hell yeah, my dude, I got pteranodon, allosaurus, ankylosaurus, triceratops and my personal favorite, the t-rex. Take your pick!

[signifies]

[ Jon should see this. ]

Would you mind trying out the T-Rex?

[ oh my god how cool is this ]

[spellslots]

Nah, I just told you about it so I could refuse to do it.

[Which is all the warning that Clark gets before Taako waves his wand again and, well, Clark's a tyrannosaurus rex now. The spell transforms his clothes as well, so there's need to worry about modesty.

Taako laughs, looking up at Clark, raising his voice just a little since his head is a lot further away now.]

You're not gonna be able to talk, so just like, roar twice when you're ready to go back.