Teddy Altman (
notasaviour) wrote in
riverviewlogs2017-07-05 12:24 am
Entry tags:
(no subject)
who: Closed to Billy
what: Working some things out
when: The beginning of the month, mid-afternoon
where: A milkshake shop
warnings: teenage angst?
[It's been over a month since he really talked to Billy. They've had quick chats, just friendly ones here and there, like they used to have back when they were only just starting to get to know each other. It hasn't been bad, exactly; Billy's still one of the few people who's ever understood him, still his best friend. It just hasn't been good, either, when he has to bottle up his feelings again. He misses his boyfriend.
So although it takes him a lot of courage, he texts Billy, asking him to meet up. He even asks for the address of the milkshake place Billy said they could go to, although that could backfire. He isn't expecting things to be the same, but it would be nice to just- go out with Billy again, without having to watch his words so much. Be affectionate, sometimes.
He makes sure he's there waiting, a few minutes earlier than the time he told Billy, so he can at least have his milkshake already, something to hold onto and keep his hands busy.]
Hey...
[He offers Billy a very small smile, uncertain.]
what: Working some things out
when: The beginning of the month, mid-afternoon
where: A milkshake shop
warnings: teenage angst?
[It's been over a month since he really talked to Billy. They've had quick chats, just friendly ones here and there, like they used to have back when they were only just starting to get to know each other. It hasn't been bad, exactly; Billy's still one of the few people who's ever understood him, still his best friend. It just hasn't been good, either, when he has to bottle up his feelings again. He misses his boyfriend.
So although it takes him a lot of courage, he texts Billy, asking him to meet up. He even asks for the address of the milkshake place Billy said they could go to, although that could backfire. He isn't expecting things to be the same, but it would be nice to just- go out with Billy again, without having to watch his words so much. Be affectionate, sometimes.
He makes sure he's there waiting, a few minutes earlier than the time he told Billy, so he can at least have his milkshake already, something to hold onto and keep his hands busy.]
Hey...
[He offers Billy a very small smile, uncertain.]

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He wishes he'd made a little more effort himself, though, although he doesn't have huge amounts of money to buy a wardrobe. Then again, this is the kind of outfit he's always gone on dates with Billy in, as far as he's aware.]
No, it's okay. I was only a couple of minutes early.
[He smiles a little more cheerfully, trying to seem more natural. It's Billy, after all, and he doesn't want him to worry too much.
He nods at the seat opposite, where he's already bought Billy a milkshake too. Chocolate, as Billy always picks when they go out. He hopes that's still the right tense, that's all.]
I- got yours already. I hope it's right...
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[He settles in, reaching for the shake Teddy has for him. He can't help but smile a little bit when he realizes he actually remembered...]
Thanks... you remembered chocolate. [And the fact that he apparently already knows that little detail? Just makes Billy smile a bit more.]
So-- what are we doing? I mean, besides the milkshakes.
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He is nervous though, and even when he puts the glass down, he doesn't let go of it, looking down at it as he turns it between his hands.]
...I don't know. I guess it kind of depends on what you want to do.
[He shrugs, flicking his gaze up to meet Billy for a moment before he looks back at his milkshake. He needs to keep his voice steady, keep the pressure off as much as possible.]
You said you needed time. Still think you need more?
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[He expected this talk-- and he wanted to have it. It's just he doesn't want to mess this up, or end up hurting Teddy in some way. He shrugs his shoulders absently.]
No, not really. [He nudges at Teddy under the table carefully.] You know me needing time didn't have anything to do with you, right? I'm crazy about you, Teddy, that's never changed. I didn't want to freak you out though... and I still don't. But two years is a lot of time for a relationship, you know? And I didn't want to dump all that on you, even if it's not bad.
[Not all bad, anyway. Bad spots, but that hardly matters in the end.]
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I don't think I'll ever stop being crazy about you, either. I miss you.
[Even if he sees Billy all the time, it's not the same. It can't be, as long as he feels awkward even about just holding Billy's hand, or talking a little too long or too familiarly. That isn't Billy's fault, and he doesn't begrudge him the time to think, but- just sometimes, it would be nice to be able to be close to the person he trusts most, without wondering if it's too close.]
Two years is a lot of time, and I don't need to know everything, okay? But at the same time, I don't want you to be so caught up in protecting me you won't just talk to me.
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I miss you too, T.
[He gives a softer look, leaning an elbow on the table. He lets out a short sigh.]
I love you, you know. More than anything. And it's just-- I don't want to scare you off or anything... I mean, I kind of want to spend the rest of my life with you so that'd be a bad thing, you know?
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Love you too.
[He can breathe a little easier for hearing it, too. Billy would never say that if he didn't mean it, he knows, and as new as it is he hadn't realised how much hearing it from him meant]
But- Billy, come on. Whatever happened, I went through it with you, if we're still together in the future. And you kind of made it seem like we were. If living through it didn't scare me off, why do you think telling me will?
[He tries to keep the question soft, but he isn't sure he stops all the frustration seeping through. He isn't used to Billy questioning himself so much, and although he's trying to understand, it isn't easy when he has no context.]
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For a start, he probably still thinks he's just a mutant, not an alien who watched his mom burn up in front of him. That's-- something he'll never be able to tell Teddy, he thinks.
He gives a soft smile.]
I don't know-- we just started dating where you're from and I doubt you're ready to hear we're-- sort of engaged now. [Teddy's asking for him to be more open, and he figures he should start sharing some of it.]
Also-- I'm a lot more powerful than we've even started to realize. It's not only electrokinesis or some home-brewed spells. I'm a reality warper... I'm some-- powerful magic being.
[He gives a wry smile.] I found out Wanda Maximoff is my mother. I mean, sort of. I was reincarnated to the Kaplans, as it turns out. Somehow, my parents just deal with it because they're amazing. Oh-- and they know I'm gay and dating you now. They happen to love you, by the way... so do my little brothers.
[He gives a wry smile, trying to push down any nerves. He doesn't think Teddy will think he's crazy... hopefully not too crazy anyway.] Still okay with all that?
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...Well, I wasn't expecting the engagement, but I'm not going to tell you I want to break it off or anything. I guess it depends how comfortable you are with it.
[He doesn't think they'll end up getting married here, after all, so it's really just a promise to stay with Billy. At least, that's how Teddy sees it, and he wasn't planning on looking for anyone else anyway. But there is that age and experience gap between them now, and while he can't miss what he doesn't remember having- Billy might. And he'd rather Billy be happy, whether that's engaged or not.
The rest of it is... much harder, honestly, but from what Teddy's seen of Billy, even in their short (from his side) relationship, he's just not that good a liar. And as the options are lying, crazy, or the truth- well, he'd rather believe Billy is telling the truth. He rubs his thumb in little circles over Billy's hand, trying to be reassuring.]
I don't know about okay, but- I don't think you'd make that up. Besides, I guess that would make some kind of sense. If you are related to the Scarlet Witch, having the same kind of powers isn't that weird.
[He manages another smile, small and a little shaky, but genuine.]
And I always thought your parents suspected anyway. They keep giving me looks.
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[And he's not holding Teddy to it or anything, but he wants him to know that things have... progressed a lot since those first few awkward dates. He also can't bring himself to tell that he's pretty sure Teddy mostly proposed to get him to stop moping in front of a windowsill-- and he's not entirely sure if it still stands after they took a break or not. Maybe one day, but not over ice cream and when Teddy already has so much to take in.]
Believe me, sometimes I think it would be easier if it was just made up... [At least then he wouldn't be the next potential Scarlet Witch in the absolute worst way to some people. He gives a small smile in return.] Sorry, I know it's really... hard to take in.
[He huffs out a laugh despite himself, nodding.] Mom did for sure. She told my dad well before we ever came out.
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[Billy wouldn't have brought it up if it wasn't important, he thinks. And it must have been important to him, too, or he knows he would never have asked such an important question.
He squeezes Billy's hand gently, in reassurance. It's a lot to deal with for a sixteen year old, but he's willing to try for the one person who seems to like him for himself.]
It is hard, but I trust you. If you say that's the truth, then it is, no matter how weird it is to try and think about.
[He mostly seems reluctant to talk about it, which only makes it more believable. He gives Billy another quick smile, soft and affectionate.]
At least that's one less thing to worry about, though. I always worried how your parents would feel about it...
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[No one he'd ever want to spend his life with the way that he does with Teddy, honestly. He lets out a sigh, giving a weaker smile. He's not entirely sure Teddy really does believe him, but he can't really blame him if he doesn't.]
They were ready to call you their son-in-law the first day, don't worry about it, T.
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[He holds Billy's hand more firmly, giving him a faint smile.]
I know I'm young, and you're probably going to say something about maybe I shouldn't, but I want to.
[He needs something stable, and he doesn't think things get more stable than that. And it isn't like he's giving anything up, either. If Billy hadn't wanted to stay with him, he wouldn't have wanted to look for anyone else anyway.]
I guess my mom's probably happy too? She likes you, I think.
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But you don't have to. I don't expect you to want to be engaged to me... or to not want to date around. You know that, right? I mean, there are a lot of people here, and I wouldn't stop you if that's what you wanted.
[But he would probably hate it a lot. He doesn't say that though...
And then Teddy has to say that, and Billy can't help a pang of guilt as he huffs out a laugh. No way can he tell a sixteen year old that his mom dies in front of him though, especially when that sixteen year old is Teddy.]
Good thing, too, considering.
[Not that she ever really got to know... and he kind of failed on an amazing level making it up to Teddy.]
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[...Usually. But when everything is weird, and nothing feels all that stable- he's going to put everything he has into keeping hold of the one person he feels safe with.]
Billy... you're pretty much everything I never knew I wanted. I never thought I'd meet anyone I could be me with as much as you. So maybe I don't have to be engaged to you, or even stay with you... but I want to.
[He sighs, giving Billy a slightly exasperated look, the kind of mostly-honest expression he's only really getting comfortable with recently and only with Billy.]
And I really don't want anyone else, either. Did I ever do anything to give you that idea?
[Because unless things really changed in the last two years, he doesn't think so. He's a one-Kaplan sort of person.]
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[He gives a smile, a little bit easier. He doesn't think he's always the best for Teddy, even now, but--
Teddy wants him and he wants to be with Teddy. What's the harm in dating a bit? It's not like there's a crazy age difference, at least. He kicks at him playfully under the table.]
Okay, Teddy Altman, let's lighten up the conversation or find something fun to do. This is a date now, right?
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I want it to be a date if you do too.
[And even if Billy is a couple years older, dates are still for getting to know each other, right?]
What do you want to do, anyway?
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[He gives a thoughtful hum as he leans forward, resting an elbow against the table.]
I don't really know. We could take a walk or go look around the shops a bit... anything you've been wanting to do, T?
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[He leans forward too, mirroring the gesture to be just a little bit closer.]
Although as long as I get to hold your hand, I don't mind where we go. I just missed you, that's all.
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[He gives a short smile.]
I missed you too, T. And all your sap. So, want to head out?