Teddy Altman (
notasaviour) wrote in
riverviewlogs2017-07-05 12:24 am
Entry tags:
(no subject)
who: Closed to Billy
what: Working some things out
when: The beginning of the month, mid-afternoon
where: A milkshake shop
warnings: teenage angst?
[It's been over a month since he really talked to Billy. They've had quick chats, just friendly ones here and there, like they used to have back when they were only just starting to get to know each other. It hasn't been bad, exactly; Billy's still one of the few people who's ever understood him, still his best friend. It just hasn't been good, either, when he has to bottle up his feelings again. He misses his boyfriend.
So although it takes him a lot of courage, he texts Billy, asking him to meet up. He even asks for the address of the milkshake place Billy said they could go to, although that could backfire. He isn't expecting things to be the same, but it would be nice to just- go out with Billy again, without having to watch his words so much. Be affectionate, sometimes.
He makes sure he's there waiting, a few minutes earlier than the time he told Billy, so he can at least have his milkshake already, something to hold onto and keep his hands busy.]
Hey...
[He offers Billy a very small smile, uncertain.]
what: Working some things out
when: The beginning of the month, mid-afternoon
where: A milkshake shop
warnings: teenage angst?
[It's been over a month since he really talked to Billy. They've had quick chats, just friendly ones here and there, like they used to have back when they were only just starting to get to know each other. It hasn't been bad, exactly; Billy's still one of the few people who's ever understood him, still his best friend. It just hasn't been good, either, when he has to bottle up his feelings again. He misses his boyfriend.
So although it takes him a lot of courage, he texts Billy, asking him to meet up. He even asks for the address of the milkshake place Billy said they could go to, although that could backfire. He isn't expecting things to be the same, but it would be nice to just- go out with Billy again, without having to watch his words so much. Be affectionate, sometimes.
He makes sure he's there waiting, a few minutes earlier than the time he told Billy, so he can at least have his milkshake already, something to hold onto and keep his hands busy.]
Hey...
[He offers Billy a very small smile, uncertain.]

no subject
[Billy wouldn't have brought it up if it wasn't important, he thinks. And it must have been important to him, too, or he knows he would never have asked such an important question.
He squeezes Billy's hand gently, in reassurance. It's a lot to deal with for a sixteen year old, but he's willing to try for the one person who seems to like him for himself.]
It is hard, but I trust you. If you say that's the truth, then it is, no matter how weird it is to try and think about.
[He mostly seems reluctant to talk about it, which only makes it more believable. He gives Billy another quick smile, soft and affectionate.]
At least that's one less thing to worry about, though. I always worried how your parents would feel about it...
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[No one he'd ever want to spend his life with the way that he does with Teddy, honestly. He lets out a sigh, giving a weaker smile. He's not entirely sure Teddy really does believe him, but he can't really blame him if he doesn't.]
They were ready to call you their son-in-law the first day, don't worry about it, T.
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[He holds Billy's hand more firmly, giving him a faint smile.]
I know I'm young, and you're probably going to say something about maybe I shouldn't, but I want to.
[He needs something stable, and he doesn't think things get more stable than that. And it isn't like he's giving anything up, either. If Billy hadn't wanted to stay with him, he wouldn't have wanted to look for anyone else anyway.]
I guess my mom's probably happy too? She likes you, I think.
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But you don't have to. I don't expect you to want to be engaged to me... or to not want to date around. You know that, right? I mean, there are a lot of people here, and I wouldn't stop you if that's what you wanted.
[But he would probably hate it a lot. He doesn't say that though...
And then Teddy has to say that, and Billy can't help a pang of guilt as he huffs out a laugh. No way can he tell a sixteen year old that his mom dies in front of him though, especially when that sixteen year old is Teddy.]
Good thing, too, considering.
[Not that she ever really got to know... and he kind of failed on an amazing level making it up to Teddy.]
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[...Usually. But when everything is weird, and nothing feels all that stable- he's going to put everything he has into keeping hold of the one person he feels safe with.]
Billy... you're pretty much everything I never knew I wanted. I never thought I'd meet anyone I could be me with as much as you. So maybe I don't have to be engaged to you, or even stay with you... but I want to.
[He sighs, giving Billy a slightly exasperated look, the kind of mostly-honest expression he's only really getting comfortable with recently and only with Billy.]
And I really don't want anyone else, either. Did I ever do anything to give you that idea?
[Because unless things really changed in the last two years, he doesn't think so. He's a one-Kaplan sort of person.]
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[He gives a smile, a little bit easier. He doesn't think he's always the best for Teddy, even now, but--
Teddy wants him and he wants to be with Teddy. What's the harm in dating a bit? It's not like there's a crazy age difference, at least. He kicks at him playfully under the table.]
Okay, Teddy Altman, let's lighten up the conversation or find something fun to do. This is a date now, right?
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I want it to be a date if you do too.
[And even if Billy is a couple years older, dates are still for getting to know each other, right?]
What do you want to do, anyway?
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[He gives a thoughtful hum as he leans forward, resting an elbow against the table.]
I don't really know. We could take a walk or go look around the shops a bit... anything you've been wanting to do, T?
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[He leans forward too, mirroring the gesture to be just a little bit closer.]
Although as long as I get to hold your hand, I don't mind where we go. I just missed you, that's all.
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[He gives a short smile.]
I missed you too, T. And all your sap. So, want to head out?