riverviewlogs | [open] How long will I slide?

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[open] How long will I slide?

who: Steve Rogers (616) and anyone!
what: Hopping rooftops and attempting relaxation. How does Steve "fun"?
when: June 12th-17th
where: Around Riverview in various places.
warnings: None

i. parkour like you mean it

[ Steve has made his own routine since coming to Riverview, and part of his exercise regimen is taking a run around the city near the housing building. He just happens to do it by taking the high road. If anyone happens to look up (or be on the rooftop of a building enjoying the sights) they could catch sight of the man running at full speed, using the balconies and awnings to create a path all his own. If they make eye contact, Steve will even wave!

They might also happen to see him fall. With the flying beasts still here and there and Steve certainly not about to let that deter him, he inevitably gets knocked off of a ledge as he's fending them off. Falling seems to be a constant in his life. ]

ii. Prijata time

[ Steve has given out some gifts to his friends, and if you happen to be one of them, he has handed those out in person whenever he can. He'll be tracking people down in order to check up with them as well, since that's his way of celebrating friendship on the weird moon.

For people that he doesn't know well, he's still going to do what he can to share some Prijata spirit. He's offering to do sketches for people of things and friends they miss from home, as well as some group shots of new friends they have met in the city. This is more practice he's gotten in art for a long time now, and he seems happy to get back to it. If he notices someone standing off by themselves, he goes up to them with a small bag of local candy or fried snack from a nearby vendor that he's gotten attached to. Making friends is a celebration he can get behind. ]

Are you hungry? I think I got too much.

iii. Hanging with friends

[ When he isn't playing building platformer, Steve goes jogging on the normal streets. He likes company, so if people have expressed interest in the past, he invites them to join him. He might wake the late sleepers up if he knows they are planning on an early morning jog with him, or he'll wave at other people out when he's taking his laps and head toward them.

Later in the day, he's training. Either at one of the gyms or in the park, enjoying the sunlight. If anyone around is up for sparring or a friendly competition, Steve will happily take them on. Even on their terms, because he likes learning new things. When he's actually taking a break, he finds people who are doing their own outdoor activities and having fun so he can watch them, maybe learn something about a new sport?

Or, if he's lucky, someone can show him a better way to get around besides running everywhere. The city is big. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Steve could fight, but instead he stands taller and draws back his shoulders, pushing his chest out against Loki's hand. He makes another grab at the snack, but without any luck. He holds back, not in defeat, but in thought as he reassesses his strategy. ]

You say that like I couldn't meet anything you've got in mind. I just hate to see good food go to waste.

[ Loki casts a critical look at the fried dough . . . thing in his hand, his nose crinkling in judgement. He still keeps his hand resting against Steve, despite himself and tries not to think about it. ]

This hardly seems worth fighting over. Is this not unhealthy? You need a better diet.

[ When Loki gives the fried puff a look, Steve doesn't try to snag it away this time. He lets him examine the prize, then shrugs at the way the god criticizes his choice of food. ]

It tastes good.

[ And thanks to his enhanced metabolism, Steve doesn't really have to worry about burning calories. He stays fit with practically no effort, so having treats now and then comes without much question on his part. ]

You shouldn't snub them before you've tried one. They'll surprise you.

[ Loki lowers his hand cautiously, bringing it closer. His look is still heavily skeptical. ]

What is it called?

[ Steve stays standing tall, as if somehow his confidence will vouch for the quality of the offering Loki has technically stolen. Whether he is trying to get Loki to give the food back or encourage him to eat is actually unclear. He seems to just want to push, as he leans forward into Loki's hand to see if the god will move for him. ]

The vendor said it was honey bread, but I think they're something like doughnuts.

[ Even he can't resist some fair food. ]

[ Honey bread. They used to have similar fare in the stalls when the summer festivals passed by. When the brothers were younger, sneaking out of the palace was a rite of passage as was winding down the streets under Loki's glamour. For once, the nostalgia does not have its sting.

Still. They are playing, after all. Loki bats his eyes at Steve, a dare. ]

And if I try this dough nut, what will I receive in turn?

Sweet satisfaction.

[ Steve answers without any hesitation. He seems to sense the potential victory and leaps on it, still playing along by giving Loki his teasing answer. ]

You'll like it. I don't see the harm in giving it a try. Isn't that a reward on its own?

[ There's a short pause as he weighs Loki's challenge. ]

What else do you want?

[ The light dims from his eyes, but only slightly. ]

Satisfaction is not in my nature.

[ After a beat, Loki replies. There's a tightness to his frame, but his eyes are wild and bright once more. ]

I want everything. I want every star, every dream, every instance that ever passed me by when I lingered in Thor's shadow. I want my victory, my name emblazoned in the golden halls, I want them to know that I —

[ He bites it off, glancing away. He won't give away the prestige of his magic act, a trick that worked so well no one in Asgard knew he ruled them all. He would wander and laugh to himself, joy mingling with scorn. No one knew, not even Thor. Loki had won with an illusion . . . a trick that robbed his very existence.

Of course he only won when he pretended to be someone else. Loki doesn't win, only yearns. A constant yearning he can't even name because the fear of it has him running. Loki is perceptive. He can twist anyone, work any angle. But there are limits on himself, limits that this place were slowly revealing to himself. Dimly, he recalls the cackle of an older self, a vision shown by his other that lingers here. Finally, Loki glances at Steve, dagger-sharp. ]

I want it all — and more.

[ There is a lot of truth in that answer. Steve frowns, disapproval rising to his expression as he listens to Loki's ambition come forward. The greed that led their own Loki to destroy so much of the world he cares for, and when Loki glances his way, the blue of Steve's gaze is hard and dark like steel. He tilts his head down like he's preparing to meet a wall, his posture silently delivering the message he's challenging everything Loki says. ]

Maybe you should start with satisfaction. Work up from there. If you don't get that first, then the rest isn't going to mean anything to you later.

[ He presses forward, breathing deeply with the tension of adrenaline working through him. He doesn't raise his voice to address the dark ambition directly, instead pushing silently against Loki's hand with his body like a reminder that he's still there. ]

Pick one thing. Something I can do.

[ His intake of breath is a serpent's hiss. Loki had expected a fight, or even a denouncement. Something public and righteous, on the hypocritical side. This was unexpected and it rattles him to have his words being taken up, to be listened. His last conversation with Thor had ended disastrously for that reason. He keeps his voice deliberately light and coy, not to belie his own wavering feelings. ]

What would you do for me?

[ The question is meant to be snide. He figures that Loki already knows he won't stand for the conquering and destruction his list of wishes implied, so he's pushing Steve to see if he can drive him off, as if the only answers are everything or nothing at all. And Steve isn't going to accept those terms. He's never been the type to go down easily. ]

I don't own the stars. And I can't control anything that happens in Asgard. You'll just have to settle for what these hands can produce.

[ He's a breath short of a "so there" that never comes. ]

If you want to get out of the shadows, the best way to do that is to find your own place. Everyone that's ever tried to take over by force forgot that there's nothing waiting for them once they've done it. No one likes the tyrants, even if they manage to take control for a while. It's a losing battle from the start if you're after admiration.

[ With that, Loki huffs, resisting the urge to laugh and roll his eyes. He's not surprised that the speech came later or that Steve missed the point by a mile. His expression is almost mildly fond and the feverish light in his eyes has seeped through the cracks. ]

I may be mad, but I'm not entirely without sense, Captain. But since you're offering, there is one thing I want.

[ His fingers tighten unconsciously over the fabric of Steve's shirt. ]

Tell me a secret. Something deep, that you've never confessed before.

[ Give me that power. Give me that security. ]

[ Steve refuses to see that point. It's a flawed viewpoint in his opinion, the desire to control and own everything. That can only lead to disappointment. It's no wonder that Loki lusted after power and is still at a loss now. Bitterness can carry them pretty far, but if Loki expects him to humor that endless desire, he'll be disappointed again. In a way, he's stubborn lack of vision is trying to force Loki to play by his rules.

Of course that comes right back to bite him as Loki makes his request. Steve frowns in thought, looking down at himself as if that might provide some answer he can't immediately find to give.His honesty wars with his awareness that Loki could very well turn the information he has on him or others at some point. ]

I was carrying the shield because I wanted to. I realized that, and that's why I handed it over. When I woke up and suddenly didn't have to have it anymore, I wanted to take it back.

That's when I knew it was time.

[ It's a painful confession, but that at least is only painful for him. ]

[ Loki had half expected the man to scoff. To launch into another speech. Not to budge at Loki's request. After all, Steve isn't known for giving ground.

I wanted to take it back.

Loki wants because he needs to. He has to. No one else will give him anything. How else is he meant to have and hold? How do you relinquish what you do not wish to give up? Why? His hand reaches to touch Steve's cheek, as if Loki is seeing tears. Perhaps Loki was seeing his own. ]

Did you mourn?

[ Steve stands still without conceding emotion. As sincere as his confession is, he's not about to show weakness now, not when he's talking about something as important as Captain America. The title is bigger than him. It's a greater cause, and he knows that although it gave him a place, it doesn't belong to him alone. Letting himself tremble or falter thinking about it is just disrespectful to the legend. The only sign that he's struggling is a waver in his breathing that Loki can feel as he touches Steve's cheek. A faint catch in how he colds himself. ]

I was happy to give it to someone that deserved it. He needs it more than I do.

[ For once, Steve's voice is a quiet murmur. ]

We need to let go, right?

[ Loki's expression is rueful. This Steve would not know — none of them did. The only person who knew was Thor. Gently he pulls his hand away. ]

I let go a long time ago. That was my mistake.

[ That answer, or maybe the way Loki retracts his hand, makes Steve look up. ]

Maybe you need to find something else to hold onto.

[ He snorts delicately, setting the donut down. Absently, he licks some of the sugared powder off his fingers like a cat would. Loki knows he lost as he won. Knows there are truths he is deliberately avoiding. He may not believe anyone would hold onto Loki but he also knows he's terrified of giving anyone that power. A rock and a hard place as humans call it. For Loki, either one is a steep drop. ]

I'm sure something will conveniently show up.

[ Of course Loki scoffs at his answer. Steve would have been more surprised if Loki had taken it without a note of derision. The god has shown he is perfectly unwilling to believe in anything that isn't proven, probably repeatedly, right in front of him, and in particular people don't stand a chance. Hope, as far as Steve can tell, is a bad joke from the viewpoint of those green eyes.

It makes him want to force the issue. Of course he's going to meet the challenge. Just the way Loki's sarcasm hits him is enough to get Steve's jaw working. The brief brush against his cheek is still there, a warmth that Loki himself didn't really seem to acknowledge when he reached out. Steve doesn't say a word to retaliate. Instead, he extends his hand. ]

[ Loki freezes. His eyes stare at Steve's hand as if it was a deadly weapon rather than an offering and the colour had slowly drained from his face, making him seem more gaunt than usual. They'll take it from you, the madness whispers in his head, it's a trick. It had to be, didn't it?

But Loki also knows Steve doesn't play tricks. He doesn't scheme or connive. He meets all logic like a bulldozer. Still, the seconds tick away and Loki doesn't move. ]

[ Loki doesn't move. He doesn't take his hand or sneer like Steve is expecting he might, laughing the gesture off as being pathetically naive or a weak attempt at offering something that can't replace the piece of soul Loki has lost somewhere along the way. Steve waits, eyes catching Loki's, holding his gaze as he marks the emotion buried in the deep green. It's a test, he thinks. Loki is waiting to see if Steve is going to flinch or blink so he can prove that he doesn't have the conviction he claims to have.

Not today.

Steve takes a step forward, arm still outstretched. ]

Stop coveting secrets and dreams of kingdoms. You've got something right in front of you. Don't miss it just because it's not as big as your vision.

Edited 2017-06-21 14:19 (UTC)

[ Who was the last person to do this? Numbly, Loki can recall with ease, a kingly woman who stepped out, her arms outstretched to him, her son, with tears in her smile. He missed her. Her loss howls like a gale in his heart. He had touched her and she disappeared. He never saw her again.

What will happen now? Will this just . . . vanish? Will his poison come down on someone else?

( monsters don't get luxuries. That's not what they're there for. )

And yet, his hand moves like a pale unseeing thing, a phantom limb. It shakes because Loki can do little else as the pads of his fingers touch Steve's palm with a reverence he did not know he possessed.

And it is still there.

Loki blinks the wet sheen from his eyes. ]

[ Steve keeps waiting when Loki doesn't react. There are no snide comments or quick retorts from the god, which is probably more worrying than it should be. He holds still, arm still held out, waiting for the moment it all falls into place and Loki explodes, lashing out against the audacity of Steve's expectations, but the violence never comes. Instead, the god takes his hand and shakes it, lingering after he releases his grip as if he surprised himself -- and by the look on Loki's face, that is exactly what happened. He isn't the only one who's surprised.

For the first time since they started talking, Steve sees a genuine vulnerability in the would-be enemy. It's a very human look, even though Loki wouldn't allow Steve to call him that out loud. It only reinforces the blond's decision. He steps forward, into Loki's sphere, and stands next to him with quiet certainty. ]

It's not a star or a crown, but you can have this. No one else can take it.

[ His fingers curl into fists, but it is not anger that forces Loki to do so but fear — his usual brand of paranoia and self-destructive gasoline that courses through him. Doubt keeps him safer. Doubt kept him alive when no one else was there to catch him. He's hardly going to give that now, no matter how tempting an offer was presented. ]

Swear it.

[ The sheen from his eyes has yet to dissipate, but the green colour is sharper than ever. ]

I will have your word.

[ Steve's hand finds his hip, resting there while he takes Loki's tense demand in with the practice of someone who is all too used to having people make demands and who chooses to respond at his own pace. He's deliberately at ease, making sure Loki knows that whatever his answer is comes from Steve and isn't being forced or thrown at him just because Loki wants it. He's not intimidated by the god, which also means he's capable of being honest with him. ]

I promise that the offer won't just vanish. This is between us, and no one else is going to change that. If you meet me halfway, then I'll always step up. No strings.

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