[ Caitlin had never been one to celebrate anniversaries; it had always been Cisco and Ronnie who remembered the dates, arranged the parties and dinners and festivities. He'd gotten into the habit of being the one who remembered what important events corresponded to what dates.
But it wasn't hard, to remember Eddie's birthday. The date itself has no significance here - and Cisco honestly wouldn't be surprised if that were a relief to his boyfriend, who has always had to share his birthday with a much bigger, louder holiday. It isn't hard, either, remembering the party he'd helped to arrange a year ago. A whole year. The thing had been a bit of a mishmash - Yuri and Taako and Cisco all covering this or that aspect. Full of people, full of food and music and laughter. This year, Cisco had taken the reigns of planning, and he'd gone for something a little different. He had told Eddie that, really, it was more convenient for everyone if they have the big friend bash on the weekend, when more people are available, and if they have a quieter celebration with just the two of them on the day itself. (Cisco, knowing how bad he is at dissembling, especially to Eddie's face, had done all this by text).
Because the fact is, he hadn't pushed the big party to the weekend for convenience's sake. He'd done it because Eddie's birthday party last year marked another occasion, as well. It had been the day Cisco had given Eddie Shadow, yes, but also, the day that he realized, under the influence of a truth-compelling potion or spell of some kind, that he had feelings for Eddie that weren't entirely and exclusively friendly. Cisco had known, before that, in a deep down and unacknowledged way, but that was the first time he'd said it, the first time he hadn't been able to deny it. It had been the beginning, in a convoluted and drawn out way, of the two of them becoming a couple.
So really, was there any better day to pop the question than that?
Which is why he's so particularly giggly, so bright and butterfly-stomached and full of chatter, as the two of them head out of the apartment for their picnic. Cisco already has the spot picked out - in the same park where Eddie's birthday party had been last year, though a different spot. There's a little bridge over a creek, a small branch from the river running through the city, with an ornate wooden bridge over it. A bright-leafed maple gives a small patch of grass some shade, and Cisco had even gone to the trouble of asking Lucretia to cast a spell around the area so no one could sit there before they arrive (which is probably an abuse of having magic friends, but...).
Cisco had insisted, adamantly and against considerable protest, that Eddie not be allowed to do any work helping to set up the picnic. He'd cooked all the food, himself - a mix of a few traditional dishes Eddie had coaxed him into cooking over the last year since he'd moved in, and of a few dishes that Cisco knows Eddie likes in particular. He'd also added a bottle of champagne and two glasses. (The ring, of course, didn't get hidden in any food or food-related place, because he's too paranoid for all that - it is tucked into the back pocket of his jeans, inside a case he'd designed specifically to look like a cell phone, because he's just that sneaky). ]
I shoulda bought some firecrackers, make it feel like home.
[ Cisco is teasing, giddy and bouncing on every other step. He doesn't bother trying to hide his nervous energy but, hopefully, it will come across at happiness over the outing and Eddie's birthday rather than as anything else. ]
[Honestly, Eddie's just not in the habit of celebrating his birthday. When he'd been a kid, his parents hadn't made a big fuss out of it the way they might have on another day of the year - on Independence Day, a big neighbourhood barbecue to celebrate made much more of a positive and wide-reaching splash for the constituents than a birthday party for their fat little son. He'd always had presents, of course, and a little celebration a few days later with a few friends, so it hadn't really bothered him all that much not to have a big deal made out of it. He hadn't exactly enjoyed being the centre of attention when he was a kid, after all.
Since he'd been an adult, it hadn't seemed like such a big deal, there was nothing stopping him from throwing his birthday in with Independence Day and celebrating it all at once. It's not the type of attention he's really big on as an adult either, though the fact that Cisco wants to plan things for him, a get-together on the weekend with friends, and this. A little private celebration for just the two of them.
For all that he'd protested, there's one major bonus of Cisco planning the whole thing and refusing to let him get involved - Eddie's hoping it'll break his streak of horrifically failed attempts to propose. Because it's been at least four times now that he's gone out with Cisco intending to pop the question, and every time, with increasing levels of painful circumstances culminating in Cisco accidentally killing someone, it's completely failed. Maybe, if Cisco is the one planning everything, and Eddie's just along for the ride and ready propose when the moment arises, things will go smoothly. His run of bad luck will be derailed.
So he lets Cisco plan, and he focuses on getting himself dressed up and looking nice, smelling good, being as attractive and looking as happy and at ease as he can. And it works. As they head out of the apartment, Eddie instinctively brushes his fingers over the front pocket of his jeans, where the ring is tucked away in a small cloth drawstring bag. The ring that he's known, somewhere, in the back of his head, is the ring that he's going to propose with, the one he'd gotten in a gift box at Christmas. It's perfect.
Grinning over at Cisco, taking a deep breath that he holds, eyes warm and bright, he takes Cisco's hand in his, twines their fingers together and squeezes.]
Man, I could go without firecrackers on the fourth of July for the rest of my life.
[A pause, and his smile goes a touch crooked.]
Thanks, by the way. For this. It's...a little embarrassing, but really nice to be celebrated for...you know, me.
[ Cisco squeezes Eddie's hand back; he feels happier then than he has felt in quite some time. Since before he had gotten sick. Maybe longer. The happiness is like a physical thing, swelling in his chest. He feels like he could practically float if he just hopped a little. There is nervousness, there, too. Because what if Eddie says no. What if he isn't ready. What if, after everything with Iris, Eddie just doesn't really like the idea of being engaged or married?
But before Cisco can get too deep down that rabbit hole, Eddie talks about firecrackers, and Cisco is reminded again of just how much he loves the man next to him, with all his understated humor, that blink-and-you-miss-it wry twist to his words. ]
Well, unless we get a flood of particularly patriotic Americans, we're probably gonna.
[ Because the two of them had decided it long ago - they are here for good. Still, Cisco doesn't think it goes amiss to remind Eddie of it, every now and then. Because Eddie can't go back, Cisco thinks that maybe sometimes he feels a little insecure, worrying that Cisco will change his mind and abandon him. So he makes sure to just emphasize, when he can, that that isn't the case. ]
You know that's my job, right? To embarrass you - benevolently, of course - as much as meta-humanly possible?
[ Bumping his shoulder against Eddie's arm, Cisco goes on, a little more seriously: ]
You're welcome. You deserve to be celebrated.
[ There's a hint of weight to that last statement - a reference, veiled but still clear - to how hard the last few weeks had been. Cisco had fallen apart, after what happened at the club exhibition, but Eddie had been there for him. Unflinching, unfailing. He had been a source of steadiness and love, an anchor that had kept Cisco from completely losing it.
Cisco wants to be an anchor for him, too. For as long as Eddie will let him.
There is a faint breeze rustling the leaves of the tree, sending the sunlight dancing across the grass, and Cisco can't contain the smile on his face. He sets down the bag, and together he and Eddie get the picnic blanket settled easily. ]
[Eddie laughs at that comment about patriotic Americans, then makes a bit of a face.]
God, I hope not. I've definitely seen a few Americans around, and a few holidays from back home, but not enough to like...actually take over the holidays they already have here. You know? And I feel like Carnivale fireworks are a lot more tolerable than Independence Day ones.
[A little wink, and Eddie walks quietly for a few moments. He hadn't missed it, the subtle and gentle reassurance in Cisco's words, the way he'd gone out of his way to remind him that he's here for the long haul. Something in Eddie's gut tightens and flutters at the same time, a combination of joy and excitement and nervousness at the thought of what he's finally going to be doing today. It isn't just the anticipation and planning and anxiety and worry that Cisco isn't even interested in the concept of marriage - it's the way Cisco goes out of his way to remind Eddie that he has chosen to stay here, with him. That this is where their future is. And how could he doubt anything, or fear a rejection, when Cisco is always reminding him that he's chosen to stay here with Eddie instead of going home, as unbelievable as that might seem.
For a moment, Eddie's overwhelmed with the surreal sensation of having someone in his life that he loves this much, that loves him in return, without hesitation, as a first choice and not as a backup. When Cisco says it's his job to embarrass him, that he deserves to be celebrated, Eddie takes a deep breath, looks over at him with a warm smile.]
Mmmm, well, you do a pretty good job of benevolently embarrassing me, not gonna lie. You're kind of the master of it. And...
[A pause, as he helps Cisco spread out the blanket, taking another deep breath, tense with anxiety and excitement and happiness like a ray of sunshine in him, warm and electric.]
You know, you deserve to be celebrated too. I still get a little blown away that I get to have a second chance, and that it includes having someone like you in my life. Not sure what I did to deserve it.
[ Cisco laughs, then, a disbelieving half-chuckle, shaking his head. ]
You want me to write you a list, babe?
[ Because while he isn't exactly sure that someone like him is all that great a reward (especially not recently), he is sure that Eddie deserves this second chance, and deserves everything he could ever want. He had worked and sacrificed, had supported the people around him, done everything he could to be the best version of himself and to make the world as safe and kind and good as it possibly could be.
Cisco doesn't sit down so much as sprawl, opening the picnic basket and lifting things out, while lying propped up on one elbow. He feels the press of that fake cell phone in his pocket, and his heartrate spikes for a moment. God, he had really made a mistake, not writing out what he was going to say in advance. He's going to show Eddie the ring and completely forget every word in both of the languages he speaks, he just knows it... ]
So. 31, huh? You better be ready for a full year of Baskin Robbins jokes, because I've been stocking up.
[ Once he has emptied the basket - the last thing he pulls out being the glasses and the really rather large bottle of cold champagne - Cisco moves it aside to give them more room. Then, in a rush of nerves and affection (but mostly nerves), he lays down entirely, twisting so that his head is resting against Eddie's thigh, hair rather a mess, and Cisco just beams up at him, as wide and bright as he can. ]
Oh, yeah, before I forget, I should probably actually say it, huh? Happy birthday.
[When Cisco says that, Eddie laughs, bright and warm, shaking his head.]
I know you said it was your job to benevolently embarrass me, but a list would really be taking it too far. That's just not benevolent anymore, it's like...malignant?
[Another laugh.]
Wrong word, totally the wrong word. I just mean my head would probably explode from how much blushing I'd be doing.
[His expression is still warm as he sits down on the edge of the blanket, watches Cisco lounge and pull out all the things he'd prepared - the traditional dishes from home that Cisco had indulged him with, the other things that Cisco knows Eddie likes, the champagne and glasses that get set aside. Eddie beams, leans over to sniff at the food.]
Man, all of this smells so good. And...wait, what, Baskin Robbins? Seriously? [Another laugh.] Babe, you're something else. But I have to know...what flavour do I remind you of? Serious question, very important.
[He lifts both his brows, his voice light and teasing as he starts getting the food containers open, his eyes on Cisco. But some of the teasing drains out, and his smile gets a bit warmer as Cisco says happy birthday to him.]
Thanks. Wow. I can't believe it's been more than a year here. And it's Shadow's first birthday, from his adoption at least. God. I remember how cute he was when he was a baby...best birthday present ever.
[ But maybe, one of these days, he could - as a surprise - write up such a list and leave it somewhere in the apartment for Eddie to find, while he's alone. That would be okay, wouldn't it? It would be a way to remind Eddie of how wonderful he is, but without him being in public or feeling watched as he reacts in whatever way he reacts.
Yeah, definitely going to do that one of these days. ]
Mmmm, probably butterscotch ribbon, because you're so old.
[ He can barely get the words out, already giggling before he's even finished the joke. The gap between them in age is really not that big, but he still likes to tease Eddie about it now and then, just a little. He covers his mouth with his hands as he laughs, but once he's gotten his composure back a bit, he amends: ]
Okay, okay, naw. I'mma say black walnut. Because not enough people appreciate you, and there's a lot more to you than meets the eye. Like, maybe you haven't got fudge ribbons or chocolate chips or flashy sprinkles, but you're a whole lot more sophisticated and complex and yummy than mint or orange or chocolate or whatever. Like if somebody ate rocky road every day they'd get sick of it, because it's so over the top. But you never get sick of black walnut, no matter how many times you have it.
[ A tiny furrow forming between his brows, Cisco says: ]
Damn now I want ice cream. I totally played myself, there.
[ He can hear himself, joking just a bit too much, talking just a bit too much, always in the back of his mind his certainty that when the time comes and he gets out the ring he's going to babble something stupid about ice cream and oh god he really should've memorized a speech in advance... ]
Yeah, I'm never gonna top that, honestly.
[ Cisco sits up again, pushing his hair back and settling in close to Eddie, pulling a few of the containers of food closer so they can begin to eat. As they do, heart beating a little too fast, Cisco says: ]
I mean looking back, how fucking obvious was it that I was completely into you? I got you a kitten. For your birthday. So not subtle.
Um, wow? Can I at least hit 35 before you start calling me old?
[He's grinning, though, his mouth curving into a warm smile as he looks down at Cisco, lowers his hand to Cisco's head and slides his fingers down into his hair, smoothing them through it, stroking it back from Cisco's temple, his forehead. Cisco is talking and Eddie watches his face while he does, his dark eyes bright, his expression warm, his cheeks just slightly flushed. He's laughing, and everything about him is so good, so warm and bright and positive that Eddie feels completely bowled over by how much he loves him. How much better his life is with Cisco in it.
Cisco is chattering about ice cream, about why black walnut reminds him of Eddie, how he's not flashy, but sophisticated and complex and yummy. He actually uses the word 'yummy' and Eddie laughs again softly.
But Cisco says that you never get sick of black walnut, no matter how many times you have it. For a moment, Eddie's throat goes tight, and he smiles, sure that Cisco can see in his eyes and expression how ready he is for this to be permanent, to be with Cisco forever. Gently, he presses some of Cisco's hair back from his forehead and cheek.]
I promise I'll buy you ice cream after we're done the picnic, deal?
[His fingers ghost from Cisco's hair down his forehead, over his nose and cheeks, lovingly trailing over his features as he talks, until Cisco sits up and leans against him, starts dishing out food. For a few minutes, they're quiet, getting their plates together, and Eddie makes a soft groan of pleasure at the smell of the food, anticipating how good it's going to taste.
And then Cisco is saying that it was obvious he was completely into Eddie, and Eddie laughs, bright and abrupt.]
Apparently not super obvious. I totally didn't get it, not at the time. Sorry for being the most dense object of affection ever.
[Winking, he lifts his spoon and puts a bite into his mouth, eyes fluttering closed.]
[ Cisco laughs, dishing himself out a little of everything on his plate, but not actually touching any of it yet. Normally, he likes to make a habit of contesting it when Eddie casually puts himself down, but in this case, he's too nervous to go there. ]
Hey, it took me a long time to get it, too. Guess we're both dense.
[ He has hold of the plastic fork, and makes some small moves, stirring at the rice, squashing one corner of a tamale, spreading some sauce a little more evenly, but his appetite is nowhere to be found. Hard to eat when your stomach is as jam-packed full of butterflies as his is, right now. ]
I can't remember if I told you, I feel like I must've, but... I mean that party was, that was when I kind of- the lightbulb came on in my head like, 'oh, shit, i like him.'
[ Cisco, laughing softly at his past self, pulls over the champagne and, tucking the corner of the picnic blanket over the cork, twists it open with a muted pop. Little bit of liquid courage to settle him down is just what he needs to actually do this. Yep. He pours two glasses, hands one to Eddie. ]
[Eddie notices that Cisco is pushing his food around but not eating it just yet, but he doesn't comment. There's a sort of feeling like something is going on, but Eddie can't put his finger on what - it doesn't feel like an impending breakup, but more like an important talk is coming on. For a moment, he's not sure if it's a good or bad thing, but it definitely doesn't feel bad, especially not when Cisco is talking about how he'd first realized that he liked Eddie, how they'd gotten together, about the cat they own together.]
Hmm, maybe that's why we make such a good couple. We have denseness in common.
[Eddie winks at him, and eats another mouthful of food, grinning at him around it, while Cisco explains that that party was when he realized he like Eddie. Eddie's brows raise a little bit.]
I kind of remember that, but I'm not sure if you ever told me the details. Please do.
[And while Cisco tells that story, Eddie keeps eating, watching him with a smile in his eyes.]
Fine. I'll allow you a toast. Just one. One small toast, as long as you pour the glasses really nice and full so I can forget about it afterward.
[Laughing, he reaches out for the glass, raising a brow.]
[ If this were any other celebration, Cisco thinks that a toast would come easily to him. He would find the words and say them, and it would all be easy, the way everything is easier when Eddie is involved. But instead, he pauses to think, mind going blank for a moment, how to distill what he wants to say into something small and meaningful, something that will be a jumping off point for the more important thing he is going to say later.
Later? Should it be later? Is now... but no, not while they still have plates of food on their laps. After they've finished, and cleaned up a little, but before they leave. That is the window.
He really does need that champagne. ]
Here's to Eddie... [ He hesitates, visibly struggling to find words and then, simply, and quietly: ] ...the love of my life.
[ He could have belted it out, made it campy, leaned in to the cheesiness. Because it is cheesy, and he knows that. But instead, the words are scarcely louder than a whisper. Cisco's not smiling, anymore. Not giggling, bubbly with restless energy. All there is, in his expression, is soft, vulnerable earnestness.
Cisco touches his glass to Eddie's, gently, and then drinks. ]
[Eddie can see it, the way the words are hard for Cisco to say, and he's not sure how to feel about that - it could be good or bad, and it's stupid that he thinks so, because today has been so good. Because their relationship has been so good. Why would this, suddenly, be bad?
So he takes a breath, watching Cisco as he starts the toast, goes quiet, and then says that Eddie is the love of his life, simply, quietly, genuinely.
For a moment, Eddie can't breathe, and his mouth curves into a wide, bright smile, his eyes just as bright, his chest rising and falling heavily as he catches his breath.]
And you're the love of mine.
[Lifting his glass a little, he taps it against Cisco's, and drinks. And once they're both done drinking, he leans in to kiss Cisco's mouth, eyes falling shut. Cisco tastes like champagne and Eddie makes a soft sound in his throat, pleasure and love all twisted up in that soft moan, before he pulls back. For a moment, he just looks into Cisco's eyes, feels the intense temptation to just go ahead, to just ask, right here and right now.
But he's also aware of the plate of food on his lap, the fact that everything is getting cold, and he laughs softly.]
Mm, I guess we should probably eat the food. I mean, not that I mind just tasting you for dinner...
[A little wink, and that breaks the spell a little, the two of them are eating again in comfortable quiet and conversation, commenting on the beautiful day, how good the food tastes, how nice it is here.
And when they're done, when the food is eaten and the plates are put away, Eddie leans back on his arms, glancing over at Cisco, and takes a deep breath.]
Hey babe...there's...there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. Something important.
[ Cisco had, in his own quiet and internal way, been working himself up to say something, to figure out how he was going to begin. But Eddie beats him to the punch, saying that, and Cisco is immediately plunged into panic and dread. It must be something important; he can tell from that steadying breath that Eddie took, from the way he is looking Cisco right in the eyes, from the faint flush on his face.
His first thought, of course, is that Eddie is going to break up with him. Or say they need some space, or some other catastrophic version of not wanting him. But that impulse of terror is only brief; Eddie had said Cisco was the love of his life, too. He'd kissed him, so sweetly, just now. Eddie isn't the kind of guy who would say or do that, if he was planning on saying something like that.
So it must be something different. Something personal, and weighty, but surely not any kind of rejection of Cisco. So then he thinks... what? Eddie's realized he hates being a cop, wants to start a new profession? It seems unlikely, but plenty of people change careers in their lifetime. Or perhaps he'd had a doctor's visit, had found out he has some kind of condition? Could he be sick?
Cisco reaches up, pushing a strand of hair back from Eddie's forehead, expression soft - a little worried and a little hesitant, but supportive and loving. ]
Okay. I'm listening, babe. You can tell me anything.
[ There's no question of interrupting him with that planned proposal. Just because he had decided on this time and place doesn't mean it has to be here, and he isn't going to interrupt Eddie, when he has something important to say. ]
[It's written all over Cisco's face, that one moment where he thinks he's about to be broken up with, or something equally terrible, and Eddie feels a combination of sadness and relief at seeing it - sadness because Cisco still feels like he could be broken up with after this long, relief because he's not the only one who still has that self-conscious fear in him. And it fades quickly, enough to soothe the sadness, and then Cisco is looking up at him with that warm expression, his face a little worried but with love written all over it.
When Cisco's fingers brush his hair back from his forehead, they feel warm and soft, and Eddie takes a deep, steadying breath. All of a sudden, his heart is in his throat and his stomach is dancing with butterflies, anxiety making his throat feel tight for a moment. But Cisco is saying he's listening, that Eddie can tell him anything, and he takes another breath, eyes on Cisco's face.]
It's just...I know we've talked about the future a bit before. You said you want to stay here, with me, and...and that's awesome.
[A pause, and he has to add on to that, because it's only fair, because he loves Cisco-]
If that's what you still want. If it is, then...you know, we've never really talked about it in depth. What we want to do when we're done with quarantine, if we want to stay here or find somewhere else in this galaxy, where we see ourselves in- [A hesitation, breath caught.] - five years, or ten years. What we want this...
[He gestures between the two of them, to indicate their relationship.]
What we want this to be. You know, for the long term.
[ When Eddie starts talking in that nervous, winding way - about what Cisco wants, about their future, about how they haven't made concrete plans, Cisco has a wild, almost panicked thought. Had Eddie somehow found out what he was planning? How could he have? Cisco hadn't told a soul. Not even Rey. Of course, it's possible that Eddie had found the ring, even though Cisco did everything he could to hide it. Or perhaps it was just his creepy detective skills, sussing the truth out from signs Cisco didn't even realize were there.
Or maybe it is just a natural moment, for something to shift in their relationship. Cisco wanted to propose, Eddie (the more mature one) wanted to have a serious discussion about their future. Cisco had been ready for a lot - Eddie having some horrible illness or some painful revelation or who knows what - but not this. He swallows, feeling like an answer is expected of him but coming up blank. ]
I- I know we oughta talk about all that. Make plans. You're right, we should've... I've just...
[ He lets out a slightly shaky breath, realizes he's dropped his gaze and forces himself to look up again. And he's glad he does, because Eddie's eyes are that perfect shade of blue, soft with patience as he finds his words. ]
I know this is gonna sound stupid, but I really don't care if we stay here or find somewhere else. They need engineers everywhere and- and it seriously doesn't matter to me, as long as... we're together. My long term plan is just- be with you. If- that's what you want, too.
[ It's a good transition, and he ought to reach for the ring, out to steer things in a more romantic direction with declarations of undying love. But again that nervousness seizes him. What if Eddie really doesn't want marriage, and interrupting him to propose at this crucial moment only drives him away? So instead, impulsively, Cisco closes the distance between them, kissing Eddie, as if he could communicate more clearly that way than with words. He kisses Eddie a few times, short but intense, and then stops, their foreheads still pressed together. ]
[For just a moment, before Cisco manages to speak, Eddie almost takes it back and tells him he doesn't have to answer right now, that it's okay and they don't have to talk about it. He's ready to let it go and try this again some other day - except that would be cowardly, this is just some uncertainty, some anxiety, not the type of thing that had ruined his other attempts.
So he's about o push through and maybe gently prompt Cisco, when suddenly Cisco is speaking again, saying that they ought to have talked about it, and then going on to say that he doesn't care where they are as long as they're together. And when he says that, when he reaches out and pulls Eddie close, kisses him with all that love and passion and desire and...and everything, intense and desperate, Eddie kisses him back. And the butterflies settle, his stomach unclenches.
He keeps his forehead pressed against Cisco's and looks into his eyes, quiet for a few moments, then he speaks quietly.]
I feel the same way.
[Licking his lips, he lifts his hands and gently cups the sides of Cisco's face, holds his breath for a long moment, bites his lower lip, and then forges ahead.]
Marry me?
[It's not what he'd planned. It's not the perfect, romantic thing he'd intended, it's not roses and wine, like out of a romance movie. But it's out of him, now, it's something he's asked and not something he intends to ask.]
[ By all rights he should have seen it coming. Hell, he'd planned this whole picnic as the lead up to a proposal. It is the ideal proposal moment: he knows, because he had been careful to make it that way. And despite that, when Eddie says marry me, Cisco's ears are filled with ringing, and for a long moment he just stares, open-mouthed, not comprehending. ]
Wh-
[ Slowly, slowly, it starts to sink in. Cisco's heart is racing all at once, and he draws away from Eddie, hands coming up unconsciously to cover his mouth. It is an expression of pure, heart-felt shock. But not, it is clear, a bad shock. Eddie has seen Cisco in states of horrified surprise enough to recognize it, no doubt, and this is different. All at once his eyes are full of tears, and the denial kicks in. What if he'd heard wrong? Imagined it? What if he's having some kind of acid flashback auditory hallucination even though he's never done acid? He has to be sure- ]
Did you-
[ His eyes scan Eddie's face, hopeful and uncertain. He can't seem to make himself breathe properly. ]
Say it again?
[ The words are tiny, pleading. He's started to shake, just a little, and he can feel a laugh bubbling up in his throat, but he has to be sure. Completely, 100% verified, double-checked, iron-clad sure. ]
[For one horrified moment when Cisco simply stutters and brings his hands up to cover his mouth, Eddie has an intense shock of fear that he's done the wrong thing, that he's messed it up, that it was the wrong thing to ask, that Cisco wasn't ready or doesn't want this right now or maybe at all. That he'd misread the signs and Cisco is about to reject him. That maybe he's permanently fucked this up.
But Cisco is looking at him with shock, but it isn't bad, he's tearing up, but it's not from anger or fear or disappointment. Eddie knows Cisco, he can read his face, even with his hands over his mouth, and this doesn't look bad
Then Cisco is asking him to say it again, and Eddie remembers to breathe. Then he laughs, his eyes going warm and bright, and he reaches into his pocket, fumbling out the little drawstring bag and opening it up.]
Will you marry me, Cisco Ramon? Please?
[His voice is soft, a touch breathless, and he slides the ring out into his palm, fingers closing around it to feel the cool metal of it against his fingers.]
[ Cisco doesn't think he takes a single breath, as Eddie pulls the ring from his pocket, holding it out, and it's the ring. The one that Eddie had gotten from the center of the maze. The one that Cisco had touched and vibed the two of them, in the future, together. He'd known it, then. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he'd been sure what it meant. But he hadn't let himself really think it, hadn't wanted to jinx his own future.
There is no mistake, now. He's certain of it. This time, even though Eddie's voice was soft, and Cisco's ears are still ringing, there is too much proof that all this is real.
Which is when he really loses it. Cisco laughs, a small, hiccupy giggle, and he is crying and smiling so hard he feels dizzy. He can't even make himself say yes, yet, but his happiness is radiant and unmistakable. He gasps a quiet: ]
Oh my god.
[ And then, because - well, because what else can he do - Cisco reaches into his back pocket. Hands shaking so badly he can barely do it, he opens the disguised case and, tears falling down his cheeks, pulls out the ring, holding it up for Eddie to see. His voice is choked when he says: ]
I was totally gonna- you- I mean I set up this whole- I can't believe this!
[ He hastily wipes some of the tears away with his sleeve, because he wants to see Eddie, and it's hard when he can't stop smiling, can't seem to stop crying. Voice full of laughter, he echoes: ]
Will you marry me, Eddie Thawne, please, and also, you know, yes, I will.
[This, Eddie thinks, will be the thing that gets him through his next downswing, the next time he's injured or sad or hurting, Cisco's face right now is what he'll remember. Cisco's face, crumpling with joy, tears running down his cheeks, the way he laughs and hiccups all at once and grinning at him. The way Cisco says 'oh my god' like this is unbelievable, like it's so good he can't quite wrap his head around it, and Eddie feels the same way.
Heart pounding, throat tight with joy, Eddie moves to take Cisco's hand, just waiting for him to say yes - because Cisco's face says yes, his body language says yes, his laughter and tears say yes, but he hasn't said yes yet - so he can slide the ring onto his finger. But before he has a chance, Cisco is going for his back pocket, pulling out his phone, and Eddie's a little confused until he realizes what Cisco's doing, opening the phone, a fake phone, and pulling out a ring himself.
For a moment, Eddie's eyes go wide, and then he's laughing, his voice cracking a little, and his own eyes start welling up with tears that spill down his cheeks as he grins.]
Yes. Of course I'll...that's all I want, Cisco...god...I can't believe...
[Another laugh, and he's shaking his head, reaching out to cup Cisco's cheek and leaning in to kiss him for a moment.]
You were planning this today too? I've been trying to...I've been...since Memoria...
[ Cisco kisses back, eager and a little clumsy. He breaks away to laugh again, feeling light-headed and so happy he could practically float away. When Eddie asks if he was planning this for today, Cisco gives a little wordless, carefree shrug. Should seem a bit obvious, in hindsight: he'd made such a big fuss about it being just the two of them, had picked the spot and the date and the meal and everything. He'd made a fake phone case!
Everything feels slightly unreal, in a giddy and wonderful way. That feeling only increases when Eddie says how long he's been trying to propose. ]
For real?
[ Memoria feels like years ago. Like a different life. Some of that is because the last few months have been a bit rough, but even so... it's a long time, for Eddie to have had this in mind and not said anything. Cisco, belatedly, wipes a few more of the tears from his eyes with the cuff of his shirt and says: ]
I've been planning this for two weeks. I mean- I'd thought about it, you know, now and then, but that was when I started making the ring.
[ Which reminds him - he holds it up in the light, for Eddie to examine. The design is a little unconventional - silver with a narrow strip of deep blue (cobalt blue, in fact) running along it, and the center is that same blue. Cobalt blue. The color of Eddie's powers. It is a little thick, for a ring, and a bit heavy, but not ostentatious.
Cisco takes the initiative, pulling one of Eddie's hands to him and slipping that ring onto Eddie's finger. ]
I figure - you got to ask, first, so, only fair.
[ He holds out his own hand, then, to let Eddie put that ring on him. The one Cisco had known, without knowing, would be used in this way. ]
I seriously can't believe we both - I mean, like, that's how in sync we are! It's crazy.
[ Then, the giggles subside a bit, and Cisco can't seem to stop himself from crying. It is all rather overwhelming, and he says, fervently: ]
[The kiss is good, everything he wants it to be - hungry and eager and full of unabashed raw emotion, love and affection and desire and excitement. Cisco's mouth tastes good and his hair smells good and everything is good. Eddie laughs softly as cisco pulls away, tears building up wet in his eyes while he grins so hard his face hurts.
When Cisco asks if it's for real, that Eddie had been trying to ask him since Memoria, Eddie laughs again, a little louder this time, shaking his head.]
Yeah. I mean. I kept trying, I planned to propose at least four different times, at Memoria, that day you got sick... I even planned a couple things with Beverly, remember when we were going to go to the Holodeck and that storm happened that knocked out the power for a couple hours?
[Another laugh, helpless, and he swallows hard.]
I just thought...you know, maybe if you were the one making the plans it would break my streak of terrible luck. I was so busy thinking about it that it never occurred to me that might be why you wanted...
[Leaning in, he kisses Cisco's cheeks, where they're wet with happy tears, brushes his nose against Cisco's and strokes his thumbs against his cheekbones.]
I can't believe either...
[And then Cisco is taking his hand, bringing the left one toward himself and sliding the ring onto his finger, claiming he got to ask first so it's only fair. Eddie laughs again, a helpless little bubbling of giggles, looking at it.]
Wow, you made this? Wow...it's beautiful...
[It's an understatement - the ring is perfect, thick and comfortable, brushed metal with a stripe of cobalt blue around it, and Eddie's eyes get a little more wet, sting a bit as he glances up at Cisco's face. A few tears slide down Eddie's cheeks and he laughs, lifting his hand to look at the ring for a moment, then eagerly taking Cisco's hand in his, sliding the ring he'd gotten in that box onto Cisco's finger.]
I know it's...I know it's a bit of a cheat, but when I saw this...when I saw it, I knew. I knew it was the ring I was going to put on you someday. Cisco Ramon.
[Leaning in, he kisses Cisco again, cupping his face with a hand, kisses his full mouth and his nose and that space between his thick brows, kisses his soft cheeks and his jaw where the stubble is growing in under the surface, kisses his face like it's the most precious thing in the world.]
[ Cisco only then remembers that, of course. Their lovely date, near the beginning of Memoria. The one that he had spoiled by getting so sick, so that Eddie had to hold his hair while he puked, and then console him once he started having hallucinations, and freaking out about them, and then freaking out about freaking out. It makes the whole thing seem worse, in retrospect, and Eddie's patience seem even more heroic.
And he should have noticed, really, that Eddie seemed a little too upset about their holosuite appointment getting cancelled because of the power out. Cisco had just assumed Eddie was having a hard week and that it was one more thing. But he'd never been someone to get discouraged by small things, any time before.
He can imagine, too, although Eddie doesn't say it, that since the incident at the club exhibition where he'd killed someone and spent the next few weeks feeling wretched and just barely getting by, day by day... well, of course, Eddie would postpone, at that point.
But all those false starts and missed opportunities make this coincidence all the more special, and meaningful. So, a little choked up with emotion and with another tear skittering down his cheek, Cisco says: ]
Thanks for- for not giving up.
[ Then Eddie is sliding that ring onto his hand, which is trembling from the flood of emotions. Cisco laughs, breathless and joyful and overwhelmed. When Eddie calls it a cheat, Cisco shakes his head vehemently, hair falling from behind his ears so he has to tuck it back again, admitting: ]
No- it's not a cheat. It's- this is what it was meant for. You remember... when you got it, and I touched it, and I vibed? I saw... us, in the future, and I told you that... but what I didn't say is... I saw it on my finger. And part of me thought- I mean, I hoped, but I couldn't trust it, because maybe it was some other ring and I mistook it just 'cause I wanted it to be true so bad...
[ It had been in the maze to find that ring that they'd told one another that they loved each other, for the very first time. All these milestones, and bright moments of happiness, hanging together, woven into one.
He presses into the kiss, loving the gentle way Eddie touches his face, the feeling of a smile curving his lips and the familiar scrape of his stubble. ]
Is it- is it okay if I tell everyone? Or... I mean, do you want to wait until the party?
[There's no regret in Eddie's mind about what had happened at Memoria - he isn't upset at the reason his proposal was derailed, just a bit disappointed that it had to be. He doesn't, for a second, regret holding Cisco's while he threw up, doesn't regret holding him while he was terrified by hallucinations or narrating what was happening in the room. It hadn't been bad, just not what he'd planned. All of the failed proposals had been that way, and his upset had only been frustration with his bad luck at none of them going the way he'd wanted them to. At not having been able to give Cisco the perfect proposal.
Lifting a hand, he keeps touching Cisco's face, tracing the lines of it, the planes and curves, reveling in the softness of his lips and hair, the warmth of him.]
Of course I wasn't going to give up. You're worth waiting for.
[His voice is soft, and he holds Cisco's gaze.]
I just felt bad, you know? You deserve a perfect, picturesque, romantic proposal. Something really...perfect. Something you can brag about, that makes you feel wanted and special, because you are. You really, really are...
[And then Cisco is talking about the ring, how it's not a cheat, tells Eddie that when he'd first touched it he'd vibed, seen them in the future and the ring was on his finger, that he'd hoped but couldn't trust it, thought it was a mistake...
Leaning in, Eddie kisses him again, his mouth and then his cheeks, where the tears are sliding down warm skin. Shaking his head, he smiles, eyes bright.]
Your vibes are always true, babe. But...you know, I didn't need a vibe to know what this ring was for. It was always for you.
[Leaning in, he presses his forehead against Cisco's and then laughs softly, hiccupping halfway through as his breath hitches with some emotion too good for words, eyes falling shut.]
Of course you can tell everyone. You can tell whoever you want. Babe, I want the whole world to know.
[ Cisco laughs, a little shakily, when Eddie says he wants to make him feel wanted and special. Right now? Here, in this place, tucked away in the shade on a beautiful day, next to his gorgeous boyfriend - no, gorgeous fiancé - he feels like he is those things.
He closes his eyes as Eddie kisses his cheeks, so careful, so loving. He can't think of a time when he has ever been happier. ]
We can do both. I'll text some people later and we can do a whole announcement at the party for everybody else.
[ He doesn't have his real phone with him, after all, and as excited as he is to share the news, right now he can't even imagine tearing his attention away from Eddie for long enough to do so. ]
I was a little scared I was gonna pop the question and find out you weren't really into the whole idea of marriage and everything. I mean, after Iris, and all that.
[ No need to explain the 'all that'. They both know how painful the circumstances around Eddie's brief engagement to Iris were. In small ways, like Joe not giving his blessing, and in big ways, like Eddie getting kidnapped. Cisco presses in closer, tucking a hand behind Eddie's neck and rubbing gently, affectionate but soothing as well. He feels a surge of almost ferocious protectiveness. Nothing bad is going to happen to Eddie, this time. He wouldn't let it. ]
I meant what I said before, too. About going anywhere, as long as it's with you. You're... the part of my future I'm totally sure about.
[ There were other big uncertainties - careers, kids, crises Cisco can't even imagine. But he and Eddie have been through plenty before. If they've made it through all that, what else could possibly stand in their way, that they couldn't get past, working together?
Cisco kisses Eddie, slow and intense; the initial overflow of emotions is sinking back down, leaving him calmer, but still radiant. Like everything in him is covered in an armor of happiness, still and settled but strong and impenetrable. ]
💍 for eddie
But it wasn't hard, to remember Eddie's birthday. The date itself has no significance here - and Cisco honestly wouldn't be surprised if that were a relief to his boyfriend, who has always had to share his birthday with a much bigger, louder holiday. It isn't hard, either, remembering the party he'd helped to arrange a year ago. A whole year. The thing had been a bit of a mishmash - Yuri and Taako and Cisco all covering this or that aspect. Full of people, full of food and music and laughter. This year, Cisco had taken the reigns of planning, and he'd gone for something a little different. He had told Eddie that, really, it was more convenient for everyone if they have the big friend bash on the weekend, when more people are available, and if they have a quieter celebration with just the two of them on the day itself. (Cisco, knowing how bad he is at dissembling, especially to Eddie's face, had done all this by text).
Because the fact is, he hadn't pushed the big party to the weekend for convenience's sake. He'd done it because Eddie's birthday party last year marked another occasion, as well. It had been the day Cisco had given Eddie Shadow, yes, but also, the day that he realized, under the influence of a truth-compelling potion or spell of some kind, that he had feelings for Eddie that weren't entirely and exclusively friendly. Cisco had known, before that, in a deep down and unacknowledged way, but that was the first time he'd said it, the first time he hadn't been able to deny it. It had been the beginning, in a convoluted and drawn out way, of the two of them becoming a couple.
So really, was there any better day to pop the question than that?
Which is why he's so particularly giggly, so bright and butterfly-stomached and full of chatter, as the two of them head out of the apartment for their picnic. Cisco already has the spot picked out - in the same park where Eddie's birthday party had been last year, though a different spot. There's a little bridge over a creek, a small branch from the river running through the city, with an ornate wooden bridge over it. A bright-leafed maple gives a small patch of grass some shade, and Cisco had even gone to the trouble of asking Lucretia to cast a spell around the area so no one could sit there before they arrive (which is probably an abuse of having magic friends, but...).
Cisco had insisted, adamantly and against considerable protest, that Eddie not be allowed to do any work helping to set up the picnic. He'd cooked all the food, himself - a mix of a few traditional dishes Eddie had coaxed him into cooking over the last year since he'd moved in, and of a few dishes that Cisco knows Eddie likes in particular. He'd also added a bottle of champagne and two glasses. (The ring, of course, didn't get hidden in any food or food-related place, because he's too paranoid for all that - it is tucked into the back pocket of his jeans, inside a case he'd designed specifically to look like a cell phone, because he's just that sneaky). ]
I shoulda bought some firecrackers, make it feel like home.
[ Cisco is teasing, giddy and bouncing on every other step. He doesn't bother trying to hide his nervous energy but, hopefully, it will come across at happiness over the outing and Eddie's birthday rather than as anything else. ]
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Since he'd been an adult, it hadn't seemed like such a big deal, there was nothing stopping him from throwing his birthday in with Independence Day and celebrating it all at once. It's not the type of attention he's really big on as an adult either, though the fact that Cisco wants to plan things for him, a get-together on the weekend with friends, and this. A little private celebration for just the two of them.
For all that he'd protested, there's one major bonus of Cisco planning the whole thing and refusing to let him get involved - Eddie's hoping it'll break his streak of horrifically failed attempts to propose. Because it's been at least four times now that he's gone out with Cisco intending to pop the question, and every time, with increasing levels of painful circumstances culminating in Cisco accidentally killing someone, it's completely failed. Maybe, if Cisco is the one planning everything, and Eddie's just along for the ride and ready propose when the moment arises, things will go smoothly. His run of bad luck will be derailed.
So he lets Cisco plan, and he focuses on getting himself dressed up and looking nice, smelling good, being as attractive and looking as happy and at ease as he can. And it works. As they head out of the apartment, Eddie instinctively brushes his fingers over the front pocket of his jeans, where the ring is tucked away in a small cloth drawstring bag. The ring that he's known, somewhere, in the back of his head, is the ring that he's going to propose with, the one he'd gotten in a gift box at Christmas. It's perfect.
Grinning over at Cisco, taking a deep breath that he holds, eyes warm and bright, he takes Cisco's hand in his, twines their fingers together and squeezes.]
Man, I could go without firecrackers on the fourth of July for the rest of my life.
[A pause, and his smile goes a touch crooked.]
Thanks, by the way. For this. It's...a little embarrassing, but really nice to be celebrated for...you know, me.
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But before Cisco can get too deep down that rabbit hole, Eddie talks about firecrackers, and Cisco is reminded again of just how much he loves the man next to him, with all his understated humor, that blink-and-you-miss-it wry twist to his words. ]
Well, unless we get a flood of particularly patriotic Americans, we're probably gonna.
[ Because the two of them had decided it long ago - they are here for good. Still, Cisco doesn't think it goes amiss to remind Eddie of it, every now and then. Because Eddie can't go back, Cisco thinks that maybe sometimes he feels a little insecure, worrying that Cisco will change his mind and abandon him. So he makes sure to just emphasize, when he can, that that isn't the case. ]
You know that's my job, right? To embarrass you - benevolently, of course - as much as meta-humanly possible?
[ Bumping his shoulder against Eddie's arm, Cisco goes on, a little more seriously: ]
You're welcome. You deserve to be celebrated.
[ There's a hint of weight to that last statement - a reference, veiled but still clear - to how hard the last few weeks had been. Cisco had fallen apart, after what happened at the club exhibition, but Eddie had been there for him. Unflinching, unfailing. He had been a source of steadiness and love, an anchor that had kept Cisco from completely losing it.
Cisco wants to be an anchor for him, too. For as long as Eddie will let him.
There is a faint breeze rustling the leaves of the tree, sending the sunlight dancing across the grass, and Cisco can't contain the smile on his face. He sets down the bag, and together he and Eddie get the picnic blanket settled easily. ]
Perfect.
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God, I hope not. I've definitely seen a few Americans around, and a few holidays from back home, but not enough to like...actually take over the holidays they already have here. You know? And I feel like Carnivale fireworks are a lot more tolerable than Independence Day ones.
[A little wink, and Eddie walks quietly for a few moments. He hadn't missed it, the subtle and gentle reassurance in Cisco's words, the way he'd gone out of his way to remind him that he's here for the long haul. Something in Eddie's gut tightens and flutters at the same time, a combination of joy and excitement and nervousness at the thought of what he's finally going to be doing today. It isn't just the anticipation and planning and anxiety and worry that Cisco isn't even interested in the concept of marriage - it's the way Cisco goes out of his way to remind Eddie that he has chosen to stay here, with him. That this is where their future is. And how could he doubt anything, or fear a rejection, when Cisco is always reminding him that he's chosen to stay here with Eddie instead of going home, as unbelievable as that might seem.
For a moment, Eddie's overwhelmed with the surreal sensation of having someone in his life that he loves this much, that loves him in return, without hesitation, as a first choice and not as a backup. When Cisco says it's his job to embarrass him, that he deserves to be celebrated, Eddie takes a deep breath, looks over at him with a warm smile.]
Mmmm, well, you do a pretty good job of benevolently embarrassing me, not gonna lie. You're kind of the master of it. And...
[A pause, as he helps Cisco spread out the blanket, taking another deep breath, tense with anxiety and excitement and happiness like a ray of sunshine in him, warm and electric.]
You know, you deserve to be celebrated too. I still get a little blown away that I get to have a second chance, and that it includes having someone like you in my life. Not sure what I did to deserve it.
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You want me to write you a list, babe?
[ Because while he isn't exactly sure that someone like him is all that great a reward (especially not recently), he is sure that Eddie deserves this second chance, and deserves everything he could ever want. He had worked and sacrificed, had supported the people around him, done everything he could to be the best version of himself and to make the world as safe and kind and good as it possibly could be.
Cisco doesn't sit down so much as sprawl, opening the picnic basket and lifting things out, while lying propped up on one elbow. He feels the press of that fake cell phone in his pocket, and his heartrate spikes for a moment. God, he had really made a mistake, not writing out what he was going to say in advance. He's going to show Eddie the ring and completely forget every word in both of the languages he speaks, he just knows it... ]
So. 31, huh? You better be ready for a full year of Baskin Robbins jokes, because I've been stocking up.
[ Once he has emptied the basket - the last thing he pulls out being the glasses and the really rather large bottle of cold champagne - Cisco moves it aside to give them more room. Then, in a rush of nerves and affection (but mostly nerves), he lays down entirely, twisting so that his head is resting against Eddie's thigh, hair rather a mess, and Cisco just beams up at him, as wide and bright as he can. ]
Oh, yeah, before I forget, I should probably actually say it, huh? Happy birthday.
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I know you said it was your job to benevolently embarrass me, but a list would really be taking it too far. That's just not benevolent anymore, it's like...malignant?
[Another laugh.]
Wrong word, totally the wrong word. I just mean my head would probably explode from how much blushing I'd be doing.
[His expression is still warm as he sits down on the edge of the blanket, watches Cisco lounge and pull out all the things he'd prepared - the traditional dishes from home that Cisco had indulged him with, the other things that Cisco knows Eddie likes, the champagne and glasses that get set aside. Eddie beams, leans over to sniff at the food.]
Man, all of this smells so good. And...wait, what, Baskin Robbins? Seriously? [Another laugh.] Babe, you're something else. But I have to know...what flavour do I remind you of? Serious question, very important.
[He lifts both his brows, his voice light and teasing as he starts getting the food containers open, his eyes on Cisco. But some of the teasing drains out, and his smile gets a bit warmer as Cisco says happy birthday to him.]
Thanks. Wow. I can't believe it's been more than a year here. And it's Shadow's first birthday, from his adoption at least. God. I remember how cute he was when he was a baby...best birthday present ever.
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[ But maybe, one of these days, he could - as a surprise - write up such a list and leave it somewhere in the apartment for Eddie to find, while he's alone. That would be okay, wouldn't it? It would be a way to remind Eddie of how wonderful he is, but without him being in public or feeling watched as he reacts in whatever way he reacts.
Yeah, definitely going to do that one of these days. ]
Mmmm, probably butterscotch ribbon, because you're so old.
[ He can barely get the words out, already giggling before he's even finished the joke. The gap between them in age is really not that big, but he still likes to tease Eddie about it now and then, just a little. He covers his mouth with his hands as he laughs, but once he's gotten his composure back a bit, he amends: ]
Okay, okay, naw. I'mma say black walnut. Because not enough people appreciate you, and there's a lot more to you than meets the eye. Like, maybe you haven't got fudge ribbons or chocolate chips or flashy sprinkles, but you're a whole lot more sophisticated and complex and yummy than mint or orange or chocolate or whatever. Like if somebody ate rocky road every day they'd get sick of it, because it's so over the top. But you never get sick of black walnut, no matter how many times you have it.
[ A tiny furrow forming between his brows, Cisco says: ]
Damn now I want ice cream. I totally played myself, there.
[ He can hear himself, joking just a bit too much, talking just a bit too much, always in the back of his mind his certainty that when the time comes and he gets out the ring he's going to babble something stupid about ice cream and oh god he really should've memorized a speech in advance... ]
Yeah, I'm never gonna top that, honestly.
[ Cisco sits up again, pushing his hair back and settling in close to Eddie, pulling a few of the containers of food closer so they can begin to eat. As they do, heart beating a little too fast, Cisco says: ]
I mean looking back, how fucking obvious was it that I was completely into you? I got you a kitten. For your birthday. So not subtle.
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[He's grinning, though, his mouth curving into a warm smile as he looks down at Cisco, lowers his hand to Cisco's head and slides his fingers down into his hair, smoothing them through it, stroking it back from Cisco's temple, his forehead. Cisco is talking and Eddie watches his face while he does, his dark eyes bright, his expression warm, his cheeks just slightly flushed. He's laughing, and everything about him is so good, so warm and bright and positive that Eddie feels completely bowled over by how much he loves him. How much better his life is with Cisco in it.
Cisco is chattering about ice cream, about why black walnut reminds him of Eddie, how he's not flashy, but sophisticated and complex and yummy. He actually uses the word 'yummy' and Eddie laughs again softly.
But Cisco says that you never get sick of black walnut, no matter how many times you have it. For a moment, Eddie's throat goes tight, and he smiles, sure that Cisco can see in his eyes and expression how ready he is for this to be permanent, to be with Cisco forever. Gently, he presses some of Cisco's hair back from his forehead and cheek.]
I promise I'll buy you ice cream after we're done the picnic, deal?
[His fingers ghost from Cisco's hair down his forehead, over his nose and cheeks, lovingly trailing over his features as he talks, until Cisco sits up and leans against him, starts dishing out food. For a few minutes, they're quiet, getting their plates together, and Eddie makes a soft groan of pleasure at the smell of the food, anticipating how good it's going to taste.
And then Cisco is saying that it was obvious he was completely into Eddie, and Eddie laughs, bright and abrupt.]
Apparently not super obvious. I totally didn't get it, not at the time. Sorry for being the most dense object of affection ever.
[Winking, he lifts his spoon and puts a bite into his mouth, eyes fluttering closed.]
God. I could eat this all day.
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Hey, it took me a long time to get it, too. Guess we're both dense.
[ He has hold of the plastic fork, and makes some small moves, stirring at the rice, squashing one corner of a tamale, spreading some sauce a little more evenly, but his appetite is nowhere to be found. Hard to eat when your stomach is as jam-packed full of butterflies as his is, right now. ]
I can't remember if I told you, I feel like I must've, but... I mean that party was, that was when I kind of- the lightbulb came on in my head like, 'oh, shit, i like him.'
[ Cisco, laughing softly at his past self, pulls over the champagne and, tucking the corner of the picnic blanket over the cork, twists it open with a muted pop. Little bit of liquid courage to settle him down is just what he needs to actually do this. Yep. He pours two glasses, hands one to Eddie. ]
Can I toast you, or is that pushing malicious?
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Hmm, maybe that's why we make such a good couple. We have denseness in common.
[Eddie winks at him, and eats another mouthful of food, grinning at him around it, while Cisco explains that that party was when he realized he like Eddie. Eddie's brows raise a little bit.]
I kind of remember that, but I'm not sure if you ever told me the details. Please do.
[And while Cisco tells that story, Eddie keeps eating, watching him with a smile in his eyes.]
Fine. I'll allow you a toast. Just one. One small toast, as long as you pour the glasses really nice and full so I can forget about it afterward.
[Laughing, he reaches out for the glass, raising a brow.]
So?
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Later? Should it be later? Is now... but no, not while they still have plates of food on their laps. After they've finished, and cleaned up a little, but before they leave. That is the window.
He really does need that champagne. ]
Here's to Eddie... [ He hesitates, visibly struggling to find words and then, simply, and quietly: ] ...the love of my life.
[ He could have belted it out, made it campy, leaned in to the cheesiness. Because it is cheesy, and he knows that. But instead, the words are scarcely louder than a whisper. Cisco's not smiling, anymore. Not giggling, bubbly with restless energy. All there is, in his expression, is soft, vulnerable earnestness.
Cisco touches his glass to Eddie's, gently, and then drinks. ]
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So he takes a breath, watching Cisco as he starts the toast, goes quiet, and then says that Eddie is the love of his life, simply, quietly, genuinely.
For a moment, Eddie can't breathe, and his mouth curves into a wide, bright smile, his eyes just as bright, his chest rising and falling heavily as he catches his breath.]
And you're the love of mine.
[Lifting his glass a little, he taps it against Cisco's, and drinks. And once they're both done drinking, he leans in to kiss Cisco's mouth, eyes falling shut. Cisco tastes like champagne and Eddie makes a soft sound in his throat, pleasure and love all twisted up in that soft moan, before he pulls back. For a moment, he just looks into Cisco's eyes, feels the intense temptation to just go ahead, to just ask, right here and right now.
But he's also aware of the plate of food on his lap, the fact that everything is getting cold, and he laughs softly.]
Mm, I guess we should probably eat the food. I mean, not that I mind just tasting you for dinner...
[A little wink, and that breaks the spell a little, the two of them are eating again in comfortable quiet and conversation, commenting on the beautiful day, how good the food tastes, how nice it is here.
And when they're done, when the food is eaten and the plates are put away, Eddie leans back on his arms, glancing over at Cisco, and takes a deep breath.]
Hey babe...there's...there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. Something important.
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His first thought, of course, is that Eddie is going to break up with him. Or say they need some space, or some other catastrophic version of not wanting him. But that impulse of terror is only brief; Eddie had said Cisco was the love of his life, too. He'd kissed him, so sweetly, just now. Eddie isn't the kind of guy who would say or do that, if he was planning on saying something like that.
So it must be something different. Something personal, and weighty, but surely not any kind of rejection of Cisco. So then he thinks... what? Eddie's realized he hates being a cop, wants to start a new profession? It seems unlikely, but plenty of people change careers in their lifetime. Or perhaps he'd had a doctor's visit, had found out he has some kind of condition? Could he be sick?
Cisco reaches up, pushing a strand of hair back from Eddie's forehead, expression soft - a little worried and a little hesitant, but supportive and loving. ]
Okay. I'm listening, babe. You can tell me anything.
[ There's no question of interrupting him with that planned proposal. Just because he had decided on this time and place doesn't mean it has to be here, and he isn't going to interrupt Eddie, when he has something important to say. ]
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When Cisco's fingers brush his hair back from his forehead, they feel warm and soft, and Eddie takes a deep, steadying breath. All of a sudden, his heart is in his throat and his stomach is dancing with butterflies, anxiety making his throat feel tight for a moment. But Cisco is saying he's listening, that Eddie can tell him anything, and he takes another breath, eyes on Cisco's face.]
It's just...I know we've talked about the future a bit before. You said you want to stay here, with me, and...and that's awesome.
[A pause, and he has to add on to that, because it's only fair, because he loves Cisco-]
If that's what you still want. If it is, then...you know, we've never really talked about it in depth. What we want to do when we're done with quarantine, if we want to stay here or find somewhere else in this galaxy, where we see ourselves in- [A hesitation, breath caught.] - five years, or ten years. What we want this...
[He gestures between the two of them, to indicate their relationship.]
What we want this to be. You know, for the long term.
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Or maybe it is just a natural moment, for something to shift in their relationship. Cisco wanted to propose, Eddie (the more mature one) wanted to have a serious discussion about their future. Cisco had been ready for a lot - Eddie having some horrible illness or some painful revelation or who knows what - but not this. He swallows, feeling like an answer is expected of him but coming up blank. ]
I- I know we oughta talk about all that. Make plans. You're right, we should've... I've just...
[ He lets out a slightly shaky breath, realizes he's dropped his gaze and forces himself to look up again. And he's glad he does, because Eddie's eyes are that perfect shade of blue, soft with patience as he finds his words. ]
I know this is gonna sound stupid, but I really don't care if we stay here or find somewhere else. They need engineers everywhere and- and it seriously doesn't matter to me, as long as... we're together. My long term plan is just- be with you. If- that's what you want, too.
[ It's a good transition, and he ought to reach for the ring, out to steer things in a more romantic direction with declarations of undying love. But again that nervousness seizes him. What if Eddie really doesn't want marriage, and interrupting him to propose at this crucial moment only drives him away? So instead, impulsively, Cisco closes the distance between them, kissing Eddie, as if he could communicate more clearly that way than with words. He kisses Eddie a few times, short but intense, and then stops, their foreheads still pressed together. ]
As long as I'm with you, y'know. Sky's the limit.
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So he's about o push through and maybe gently prompt Cisco, when suddenly Cisco is speaking again, saying that they ought to have talked about it, and then going on to say that he doesn't care where they are as long as they're together. And when he says that, when he reaches out and pulls Eddie close, kisses him with all that love and passion and desire and...and everything, intense and desperate, Eddie kisses him back. And the butterflies settle, his stomach unclenches.
He keeps his forehead pressed against Cisco's and looks into his eyes, quiet for a few moments, then he speaks quietly.]
I feel the same way.
[Licking his lips, he lifts his hands and gently cups the sides of Cisco's face, holds his breath for a long moment, bites his lower lip, and then forges ahead.]
Marry me?
[It's not what he'd planned. It's not the perfect, romantic thing he'd intended, it's not roses and wine, like out of a romance movie. But it's out of him, now, it's something he's asked and not something he intends to ask.]
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Wh-
[ Slowly, slowly, it starts to sink in. Cisco's heart is racing all at once, and he draws away from Eddie, hands coming up unconsciously to cover his mouth. It is an expression of pure, heart-felt shock. But not, it is clear, a bad shock. Eddie has seen Cisco in states of horrified surprise enough to recognize it, no doubt, and this is different. All at once his eyes are full of tears, and the denial kicks in. What if he'd heard wrong? Imagined it? What if he's having some kind of acid flashback auditory hallucination even though he's never done acid? He has to be sure- ]
Did you-
[ His eyes scan Eddie's face, hopeful and uncertain. He can't seem to make himself breathe properly. ]
Say it again?
[ The words are tiny, pleading. He's started to shake, just a little, and he can feel a laugh bubbling up in his throat, but he has to be sure. Completely, 100% verified, double-checked, iron-clad sure. ]
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But Cisco is looking at him with shock, but it isn't bad, he's tearing up, but it's not from anger or fear or disappointment. Eddie knows Cisco, he can read his face, even with his hands over his mouth, and this doesn't look bad
Then Cisco is asking him to say it again, and Eddie remembers to breathe. Then he laughs, his eyes going warm and bright, and he reaches into his pocket, fumbling out the little drawstring bag and opening it up.]
Will you marry me, Cisco Ramon? Please?
[His voice is soft, a touch breathless, and he slides the ring out into his palm, fingers closing around it to feel the cool metal of it against his fingers.]
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There is no mistake, now. He's certain of it. This time, even though Eddie's voice was soft, and Cisco's ears are still ringing, there is too much proof that all this is real.
Which is when he really loses it. Cisco laughs, a small, hiccupy giggle, and he is crying and smiling so hard he feels dizzy. He can't even make himself say yes, yet, but his happiness is radiant and unmistakable. He gasps a quiet: ]
Oh my god.
[ And then, because - well, because what else can he do - Cisco reaches into his back pocket. Hands shaking so badly he can barely do it, he opens the disguised case and, tears falling down his cheeks, pulls out the ring, holding it up for Eddie to see. His voice is choked when he says: ]
I was totally gonna- you- I mean I set up this whole- I can't believe this!
[ He hastily wipes some of the tears away with his sleeve, because he wants to see Eddie, and it's hard when he can't stop smiling, can't seem to stop crying. Voice full of laughter, he echoes: ]
Will you marry me, Eddie Thawne, please, and also, you know, yes, I will.
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Heart pounding, throat tight with joy, Eddie moves to take Cisco's hand, just waiting for him to say yes - because Cisco's face says yes, his body language says yes, his laughter and tears say yes, but he hasn't said yes yet - so he can slide the ring onto his finger. But before he has a chance, Cisco is going for his back pocket, pulling out his phone, and Eddie's a little confused until he realizes what Cisco's doing, opening the phone, a fake phone, and pulling out a ring himself.
For a moment, Eddie's eyes go wide, and then he's laughing, his voice cracking a little, and his own eyes start welling up with tears that spill down his cheeks as he grins.]
Yes. Of course I'll...that's all I want, Cisco...god...I can't believe...
[Another laugh, and he's shaking his head, reaching out to cup Cisco's cheek and leaning in to kiss him for a moment.]
You were planning this today too? I've been trying to...I've been...since Memoria...
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Everything feels slightly unreal, in a giddy and wonderful way. That feeling only increases when Eddie says how long he's been trying to propose. ]
For real?
[ Memoria feels like years ago. Like a different life. Some of that is because the last few months have been a bit rough, but even so... it's a long time, for Eddie to have had this in mind and not said anything. Cisco, belatedly, wipes a few more of the tears from his eyes with the cuff of his shirt and says: ]
I've been planning this for two weeks. I mean- I'd thought about it, you know, now and then, but that was when I started making the ring.
[ Which reminds him - he holds it up in the light, for Eddie to examine. The design is a little unconventional - silver with a narrow strip of deep blue (cobalt blue, in fact) running along it, and the center is that same blue. Cobalt blue. The color of Eddie's powers. It is a little thick, for a ring, and a bit heavy, but not ostentatious.
Cisco takes the initiative, pulling one of Eddie's hands to him and slipping that ring onto Eddie's finger. ]
I figure - you got to ask, first, so, only fair.
[ He holds out his own hand, then, to let Eddie put that ring on him. The one Cisco had known, without knowing, would be used in this way. ]
I seriously can't believe we both - I mean, like, that's how in sync we are! It's crazy.
[ Then, the giggles subside a bit, and Cisco can't seem to stop himself from crying. It is all rather overwhelming, and he says, fervently: ]
I love you so much.
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When Cisco asks if it's for real, that Eddie had been trying to ask him since Memoria, Eddie laughs again, a little louder this time, shaking his head.]
Yeah. I mean. I kept trying, I planned to propose at least four different times, at Memoria, that day you got sick... I even planned a couple things with Beverly, remember when we were going to go to the Holodeck and that storm happened that knocked out the power for a couple hours?
[Another laugh, helpless, and he swallows hard.]
I just thought...you know, maybe if you were the one making the plans it would break my streak of terrible luck. I was so busy thinking about it that it never occurred to me that might be why you wanted...
[Leaning in, he kisses Cisco's cheeks, where they're wet with happy tears, brushes his nose against Cisco's and strokes his thumbs against his cheekbones.]
I can't believe either...
[And then Cisco is taking his hand, bringing the left one toward himself and sliding the ring onto his finger, claiming he got to ask first so it's only fair. Eddie laughs again, a helpless little bubbling of giggles, looking at it.]
Wow, you made this? Wow...it's beautiful...
[It's an understatement - the ring is perfect, thick and comfortable, brushed metal with a stripe of cobalt blue around it, and Eddie's eyes get a little more wet, sting a bit as he glances up at Cisco's face. A few tears slide down Eddie's cheeks and he laughs, lifting his hand to look at the ring for a moment, then eagerly taking Cisco's hand in his, sliding the ring he'd gotten in that box onto Cisco's finger.]
I know it's...I know it's a bit of a cheat, but when I saw this...when I saw it, I knew. I knew it was the ring I was going to put on you someday. Cisco Ramon.
[Leaning in, he kisses Cisco again, cupping his face with a hand, kisses his full mouth and his nose and that space between his thick brows, kisses his soft cheeks and his jaw where the stubble is growing in under the surface, kisses his face like it's the most precious thing in the world.]
I love you so much too. God.
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And he should have noticed, really, that Eddie seemed a little too upset about their holosuite appointment getting cancelled because of the power out. Cisco had just assumed Eddie was having a hard week and that it was one more thing. But he'd never been someone to get discouraged by small things, any time before.
He can imagine, too, although Eddie doesn't say it, that since the incident at the club exhibition where he'd killed someone and spent the next few weeks feeling wretched and just barely getting by, day by day... well, of course, Eddie would postpone, at that point.
But all those false starts and missed opportunities make this coincidence all the more special, and meaningful. So, a little choked up with emotion and with another tear skittering down his cheek, Cisco says: ]
Thanks for- for not giving up.
[ Then Eddie is sliding that ring onto his hand, which is trembling from the flood of emotions. Cisco laughs, breathless and joyful and overwhelmed. When Eddie calls it a cheat, Cisco shakes his head vehemently, hair falling from behind his ears so he has to tuck it back again, admitting: ]
No- it's not a cheat. It's- this is what it was meant for. You remember... when you got it, and I touched it, and I vibed? I saw... us, in the future, and I told you that... but what I didn't say is... I saw it on my finger. And part of me thought- I mean, I hoped, but I couldn't trust it, because maybe it was some other ring and I mistook it just 'cause I wanted it to be true so bad...
[ It had been in the maze to find that ring that they'd told one another that they loved each other, for the very first time. All these milestones, and bright moments of happiness, hanging together, woven into one.
He presses into the kiss, loving the gentle way Eddie touches his face, the feeling of a smile curving his lips and the familiar scrape of his stubble. ]
Is it- is it okay if I tell everyone? Or... I mean, do you want to wait until the party?
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Lifting a hand, he keeps touching Cisco's face, tracing the lines of it, the planes and curves, reveling in the softness of his lips and hair, the warmth of him.]
Of course I wasn't going to give up. You're worth waiting for.
[His voice is soft, and he holds Cisco's gaze.]
I just felt bad, you know? You deserve a perfect, picturesque, romantic proposal. Something really...perfect. Something you can brag about, that makes you feel wanted and special, because you are. You really, really are...
[And then Cisco is talking about the ring, how it's not a cheat, tells Eddie that when he'd first touched it he'd vibed, seen them in the future and the ring was on his finger, that he'd hoped but couldn't trust it, thought it was a mistake...
Leaning in, Eddie kisses him again, his mouth and then his cheeks, where the tears are sliding down warm skin. Shaking his head, he smiles, eyes bright.]
Your vibes are always true, babe. But...you know, I didn't need a vibe to know what this ring was for. It was always for you.
[Leaning in, he presses his forehead against Cisco's and then laughs softly, hiccupping halfway through as his breath hitches with some emotion too good for words, eyes falling shut.]
Of course you can tell everyone. You can tell whoever you want. Babe, I want the whole world to know.
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He closes his eyes as Eddie kisses his cheeks, so careful, so loving. He can't think of a time when he has ever been happier. ]
We can do both. I'll text some people later and we can do a whole announcement at the party for everybody else.
[ He doesn't have his real phone with him, after all, and as excited as he is to share the news, right now he can't even imagine tearing his attention away from Eddie for long enough to do so. ]
I was a little scared I was gonna pop the question and find out you weren't really into the whole idea of marriage and everything. I mean, after Iris, and all that.
[ No need to explain the 'all that'. They both know how painful the circumstances around Eddie's brief engagement to Iris were. In small ways, like Joe not giving his blessing, and in big ways, like Eddie getting kidnapped. Cisco presses in closer, tucking a hand behind Eddie's neck and rubbing gently, affectionate but soothing as well. He feels a surge of almost ferocious protectiveness. Nothing bad is going to happen to Eddie, this time. He wouldn't let it. ]
I meant what I said before, too. About going anywhere, as long as it's with you. You're... the part of my future I'm totally sure about.
[ There were other big uncertainties - careers, kids, crises Cisco can't even imagine. But he and Eddie have been through plenty before. If they've made it through all that, what else could possibly stand in their way, that they couldn't get past, working together?
Cisco kisses Eddie, slow and intense; the initial overflow of emotions is sinking back down, leaving him calmer, but still radiant. Like everything in him is covered in an armor of happiness, still and settled but strong and impenetrable. ]
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