franciscoramon: (:# beanie 1)
Cisco Ramon ([personal profile] franciscoramon) wrote in [community profile] riverviewlogs2018-06-21 05:00 pm

[open] you can't hide from your shadow

who: cisco + people
what: catch-all
when: june & july
where: various places
warnings: will add as needed

causational: (perfection)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-05 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Honestly, Eddie's just not in the habit of celebrating his birthday. When he'd been a kid, his parents hadn't made a big fuss out of it the way they might have on another day of the year - on Independence Day, a big neighbourhood barbecue to celebrate made much more of a positive and wide-reaching splash for the constituents than a birthday party for their fat little son. He'd always had presents, of course, and a little celebration a few days later with a few friends, so it hadn't really bothered him all that much not to have a big deal made out of it. He hadn't exactly enjoyed being the centre of attention when he was a kid, after all.

Since he'd been an adult, it hadn't seemed like such a big deal, there was nothing stopping him from throwing his birthday in with Independence Day and celebrating it all at once. It's not the type of attention he's really big on as an adult either, though the fact that Cisco wants to plan things for him, a get-together on the weekend with friends, and this. A little private celebration for just the two of them.

For all that he'd protested, there's one major bonus of Cisco planning the whole thing and refusing to let him get involved - Eddie's hoping it'll break his streak of horrifically failed attempts to propose. Because it's been at least four times now that he's gone out with Cisco intending to pop the question, and every time, with increasing levels of painful circumstances culminating in Cisco accidentally killing someone, it's completely failed. Maybe, if Cisco is the one planning everything, and Eddie's just along for the ride and ready propose when the moment arises, things will go smoothly. His run of bad luck will be derailed.

So he lets Cisco plan, and he focuses on getting himself dressed up and looking nice, smelling good, being as attractive and looking as happy and at ease as he can. And it works. As they head out of the apartment, Eddie instinctively brushes his fingers over the front pocket of his jeans, where the ring is tucked away in a small cloth drawstring bag. The ring that he's known, somewhere, in the back of his head, is the ring that he's going to propose with, the one he'd gotten in a gift box at Christmas. It's perfect.

Grinning over at Cisco, taking a deep breath that he holds, eyes warm and bright, he takes Cisco's hand in his, twines their fingers together and squeezes.]


Man, I could go without firecrackers on the fourth of July for the rest of my life.

[A pause, and his smile goes a touch crooked.]

Thanks, by the way. For this. It's...a little embarrassing, but really nice to be celebrated for...you know, me.
causational: (perfection)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-07 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[Eddie laughs at that comment about patriotic Americans, then makes a bit of a face.]

God, I hope not. I've definitely seen a few Americans around, and a few holidays from back home, but not enough to like...actually take over the holidays they already have here. You know? And I feel like Carnivale fireworks are a lot more tolerable than Independence Day ones.

[A little wink, and Eddie walks quietly for a few moments. He hadn't missed it, the subtle and gentle reassurance in Cisco's words, the way he'd gone out of his way to remind him that he's here for the long haul. Something in Eddie's gut tightens and flutters at the same time, a combination of joy and excitement and nervousness at the thought of what he's finally going to be doing today. It isn't just the anticipation and planning and anxiety and worry that Cisco isn't even interested in the concept of marriage - it's the way Cisco goes out of his way to remind Eddie that he has chosen to stay here, with him. That this is where their future is. And how could he doubt anything, or fear a rejection, when Cisco is always reminding him that he's chosen to stay here with Eddie instead of going home, as unbelievable as that might seem.

For a moment, Eddie's overwhelmed with the surreal sensation of having someone in his life that he loves this much, that loves him in return, without hesitation, as a first choice and not as a backup. When Cisco says it's his job to embarrass him, that he deserves to be celebrated, Eddie takes a deep breath, looks over at him with a warm smile.]


Mmmm, well, you do a pretty good job of benevolently embarrassing me, not gonna lie. You're kind of the master of it. And...

[A pause, as he helps Cisco spread out the blanket, taking another deep breath, tense with anxiety and excitement and happiness like a ray of sunshine in him, warm and electric.]

You know, you deserve to be celebrated too. I still get a little blown away that I get to have a second chance, and that it includes having someone like you in my life. Not sure what I did to deserve it.
causational: (reassuring)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-08 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[When Cisco says that, Eddie laughs, bright and warm, shaking his head.]

I know you said it was your job to benevolently embarrass me, but a list would really be taking it too far. That's just not benevolent anymore, it's like...malignant?

[Another laugh.]

Wrong word, totally the wrong word. I just mean my head would probably explode from how much blushing I'd be doing.

[His expression is still warm as he sits down on the edge of the blanket, watches Cisco lounge and pull out all the things he'd prepared - the traditional dishes from home that Cisco had indulged him with, the other things that Cisco knows Eddie likes, the champagne and glasses that get set aside. Eddie beams, leans over to sniff at the food.]

Man, all of this smells so good. And...wait, what, Baskin Robbins? Seriously? [Another laugh.] Babe, you're something else. But I have to know...what flavour do I remind you of? Serious question, very important.

[He lifts both his brows, his voice light and teasing as he starts getting the food containers open, his eyes on Cisco. But some of the teasing drains out, and his smile gets a bit warmer as Cisco says happy birthday to him.]

Thanks. Wow. I can't believe it's been more than a year here. And it's Shadow's first birthday, from his adoption at least. God. I remember how cute he was when he was a baby...best birthday present ever.
causational: (do tell)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-09 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
Um, wow? Can I at least hit 35 before you start calling me old?

[He's grinning, though, his mouth curving into a warm smile as he looks down at Cisco, lowers his hand to Cisco's head and slides his fingers down into his hair, smoothing them through it, stroking it back from Cisco's temple, his forehead. Cisco is talking and Eddie watches his face while he does, his dark eyes bright, his expression warm, his cheeks just slightly flushed. He's laughing, and everything about him is so good, so warm and bright and positive that Eddie feels completely bowled over by how much he loves him. How much better his life is with Cisco in it.

Cisco is chattering about ice cream, about why black walnut reminds him of Eddie, how he's not flashy, but sophisticated and complex and yummy. He actually uses the word 'yummy' and Eddie laughs again softly.

But Cisco says that you never get sick of black walnut, no matter how many times you have it. For a moment, Eddie's throat goes tight, and he smiles, sure that Cisco can see in his eyes and expression how ready he is for this to be permanent, to be with Cisco forever. Gently, he presses some of Cisco's hair back from his forehead and cheek.]


I promise I'll buy you ice cream after we're done the picnic, deal?

[His fingers ghost from Cisco's hair down his forehead, over his nose and cheeks, lovingly trailing over his features as he talks, until Cisco sits up and leans against him, starts dishing out food. For a few minutes, they're quiet, getting their plates together, and Eddie makes a soft groan of pleasure at the smell of the food, anticipating how good it's going to taste.

And then Cisco is saying that it was obvious he was completely into Eddie, and Eddie laughs, bright and abrupt.]


Apparently not super obvious. I totally didn't get it, not at the time. Sorry for being the most dense object of affection ever.

[Winking, he lifts his spoon and puts a bite into his mouth, eyes fluttering closed.]

God. I could eat this all day.
causational: (mischievous)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-09 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
[Eddie notices that Cisco is pushing his food around but not eating it just yet, but he doesn't comment. There's a sort of feeling like something is going on, but Eddie can't put his finger on what - it doesn't feel like an impending breakup, but more like an important talk is coming on. For a moment, he's not sure if it's a good or bad thing, but it definitely doesn't feel bad, especially not when Cisco is talking about how he'd first realized that he liked Eddie, how they'd gotten together, about the cat they own together.]

Hmm, maybe that's why we make such a good couple. We have denseness in common.

[Eddie winks at him, and eats another mouthful of food, grinning at him around it, while Cisco explains that that party was when he realized he like Eddie. Eddie's brows raise a little bit.]

I kind of remember that, but I'm not sure if you ever told me the details. Please do.

[And while Cisco tells that story, Eddie keeps eating, watching him with a smile in his eyes.]

Fine. I'll allow you a toast. Just one. One small toast, as long as you pour the glasses really nice and full so I can forget about it afterward.

[Laughing, he reaches out for the glass, raising a brow.]

So?
causational: (adoration)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-09 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Eddie can see it, the way the words are hard for Cisco to say, and he's not sure how to feel about that - it could be good or bad, and it's stupid that he thinks so, because today has been so good. Because their relationship has been so good. Why would this, suddenly, be bad?

So he takes a breath, watching Cisco as he starts the toast, goes quiet, and then says that Eddie is the love of his life, simply, quietly, genuinely.

For a moment, Eddie can't breathe, and his mouth curves into a wide, bright smile, his eyes just as bright, his chest rising and falling heavily as he catches his breath.]


And you're the love of mine.

[Lifting his glass a little, he taps it against Cisco's, and drinks. And once they're both done drinking, he leans in to kiss Cisco's mouth, eyes falling shut. Cisco tastes like champagne and Eddie makes a soft sound in his throat, pleasure and love all twisted up in that soft moan, before he pulls back. For a moment, he just looks into Cisco's eyes, feels the intense temptation to just go ahead, to just ask, right here and right now.

But he's also aware of the plate of food on his lap, the fact that everything is getting cold, and he laughs softly.]


Mm, I guess we should probably eat the food. I mean, not that I mind just tasting you for dinner...

[A little wink, and that breaks the spell a little, the two of them are eating again in comfortable quiet and conversation, commenting on the beautiful day, how good the food tastes, how nice it is here.

And when they're done, when the food is eaten and the plates are put away, Eddie leans back on his arms, glancing over at Cisco, and takes a deep breath.]


Hey babe...there's...there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. Something important.
causational: (shy)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-12 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
[It's written all over Cisco's face, that one moment where he thinks he's about to be broken up with, or something equally terrible, and Eddie feels a combination of sadness and relief at seeing it - sadness because Cisco still feels like he could be broken up with after this long, relief because he's not the only one who still has that self-conscious fear in him. And it fades quickly, enough to soothe the sadness, and then Cisco is looking up at him with that warm expression, his face a little worried but with love written all over it.

When Cisco's fingers brush his hair back from his forehead, they feel warm and soft, and Eddie takes a deep, steadying breath. All of a sudden, his heart is in his throat and his stomach is dancing with butterflies, anxiety making his throat feel tight for a moment. But Cisco is saying he's listening, that Eddie can tell him anything, and he takes another breath, eyes on Cisco's face.]


It's just...I know we've talked about the future a bit before. You said you want to stay here, with me, and...and that's awesome.

[A pause, and he has to add on to that, because it's only fair, because he loves Cisco-]

If that's what you still want. If it is, then...you know, we've never really talked about it in depth. What we want to do when we're done with quarantine, if we want to stay here or find somewhere else in this galaxy, where we see ourselves in- [A hesitation, breath caught.] - five years, or ten years. What we want this...

[He gestures between the two of them, to indicate their relationship.]

What we want this to be. You know, for the long term.
causational: (perfection)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-12 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[For just a moment, before Cisco manages to speak, Eddie almost takes it back and tells him he doesn't have to answer right now, that it's okay and they don't have to talk about it. He's ready to let it go and try this again some other day - except that would be cowardly, this is just some uncertainty, some anxiety, not the type of thing that had ruined his other attempts.

So he's about o push through and maybe gently prompt Cisco, when suddenly Cisco is speaking again, saying that they ought to have talked about it, and then going on to say that he doesn't care where they are as long as they're together. And when he says that, when he reaches out and pulls Eddie close, kisses him with all that love and passion and desire and...and everything, intense and desperate, Eddie kisses him back. And the butterflies settle, his stomach unclenches.

He keeps his forehead pressed against Cisco's and looks into his eyes, quiet for a few moments, then he speaks quietly.]


I feel the same way.

[Licking his lips, he lifts his hands and gently cups the sides of Cisco's face, holds his breath for a long moment, bites his lower lip, and then forges ahead.]

Marry me?

[It's not what he'd planned. It's not the perfect, romantic thing he'd intended, it's not roses and wine, like out of a romance movie. But it's out of him, now, it's something he's asked and not something he intends to ask.]
causational: (do tell)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-12 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
[For one horrified moment when Cisco simply stutters and brings his hands up to cover his mouth, Eddie has an intense shock of fear that he's done the wrong thing, that he's messed it up, that it was the wrong thing to ask, that Cisco wasn't ready or doesn't want this right now or maybe at all. That he'd misread the signs and Cisco is about to reject him. That maybe he's permanently fucked this up.

But Cisco is looking at him with shock, but it isn't bad, he's tearing up, but it's not from anger or fear or disappointment. Eddie knows Cisco, he can read his face, even with his hands over his mouth, and this doesn't look bad

Then Cisco is asking him to say it again, and Eddie remembers to breathe. Then he laughs, his eyes going warm and bright, and he reaches into his pocket, fumbling out the little drawstring bag and opening it up.]


Will you marry me, Cisco Ramon? Please?

[His voice is soft, a touch breathless, and he slides the ring out into his palm, fingers closing around it to feel the cool metal of it against his fingers.]
causational: (beautiful smile)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-12 07:22 am (UTC)(link)
[This, Eddie thinks, will be the thing that gets him through his next downswing, the next time he's injured or sad or hurting, Cisco's face right now is what he'll remember. Cisco's face, crumpling with joy, tears running down his cheeks, the way he laughs and hiccups all at once and grinning at him. The way Cisco says 'oh my god' like this is unbelievable, like it's so good he can't quite wrap his head around it, and Eddie feels the same way.

Heart pounding, throat tight with joy, Eddie moves to take Cisco's hand, just waiting for him to say yes - because Cisco's face says yes, his body language says yes, his laughter and tears say yes, but he hasn't said yes yet - so he can slide the ring onto his finger. But before he has a chance, Cisco is going for his back pocket, pulling out his phone, and Eddie's a little confused until he realizes what Cisco's doing, opening the phone, a fake phone, and pulling out a ring himself.

For a moment, Eddie's eyes go wide, and then he's laughing, his voice cracking a little, and his own eyes start welling up with tears that spill down his cheeks as he grins.]


Yes. Of course I'll...that's all I want, Cisco...god...I can't believe...

[Another laugh, and he's shaking his head, reaching out to cup Cisco's cheek and leaning in to kiss him for a moment.]

You were planning this today too? I've been trying to...I've been...since Memoria...
causational: (perfection)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-13 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
[The kiss is good, everything he wants it to be - hungry and eager and full of unabashed raw emotion, love and affection and desire and excitement. Cisco's mouth tastes good and his hair smells good and everything is good. Eddie laughs softly as cisco pulls away, tears building up wet in his eyes while he grins so hard his face hurts.

When Cisco asks if it's for real, that Eddie had been trying to ask him since Memoria, Eddie laughs again, a little louder this time, shaking his head.]


Yeah. I mean. I kept trying, I planned to propose at least four different times, at Memoria, that day you got sick... I even planned a couple things with Beverly, remember when we were going to go to the Holodeck and that storm happened that knocked out the power for a couple hours?

[Another laugh, helpless, and he swallows hard.]

I just thought...you know, maybe if you were the one making the plans it would break my streak of terrible luck. I was so busy thinking about it that it never occurred to me that might be why you wanted...

[Leaning in, he kisses Cisco's cheeks, where they're wet with happy tears, brushes his nose against Cisco's and strokes his thumbs against his cheekbones.]

I can't believe either...

[And then Cisco is taking his hand, bringing the left one toward himself and sliding the ring onto his finger, claiming he got to ask first so it's only fair. Eddie laughs again, a helpless little bubbling of giggles, looking at it.]

Wow, you made this? Wow...it's beautiful...

[It's an understatement - the ring is perfect, thick and comfortable, brushed metal with a stripe of cobalt blue around it, and Eddie's eyes get a little more wet, sting a bit as he glances up at Cisco's face. A few tears slide down Eddie's cheeks and he laughs, lifting his hand to look at the ring for a moment, then eagerly taking Cisco's hand in his, sliding the ring he'd gotten in that box onto Cisco's finger.]

I know it's...I know it's a bit of a cheat, but when I saw this...when I saw it, I knew. I knew it was the ring I was going to put on you someday. Cisco Ramon.

[Leaning in, he kisses Cisco again, cupping his face with a hand, kisses his full mouth and his nose and that space between his thick brows, kisses his soft cheeks and his jaw where the stubble is growing in under the surface, kisses his face like it's the most precious thing in the world.]

I love you so much too. God.
causational: (reminiscing)

[personal profile] causational 2018-07-17 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
[There's no regret in Eddie's mind about what had happened at Memoria - he isn't upset at the reason his proposal was derailed, just a bit disappointed that it had to be. He doesn't, for a second, regret holding Cisco's while he threw up, doesn't regret holding him while he was terrified by hallucinations or narrating what was happening in the room. It hadn't been bad, just not what he'd planned. All of the failed proposals had been that way, and his upset had only been frustration with his bad luck at none of them going the way he'd wanted them to. At not having been able to give Cisco the perfect proposal.

Lifting a hand, he keeps touching Cisco's face, tracing the lines of it, the planes and curves, reveling in the softness of his lips and hair, the warmth of him.]


Of course I wasn't going to give up. You're worth waiting for.

[His voice is soft, and he holds Cisco's gaze.]

I just felt bad, you know? You deserve a perfect, picturesque, romantic proposal. Something really...perfect. Something you can brag about, that makes you feel wanted and special, because you are. You really, really are...

[And then Cisco is talking about the ring, how it's not a cheat, tells Eddie that when he'd first touched it he'd vibed, seen them in the future and the ring was on his finger, that he'd hoped but couldn't trust it, thought it was a mistake...

Leaning in, Eddie kisses him again, his mouth and then his cheeks, where the tears are sliding down warm skin. Shaking his head, he smiles, eyes bright.]


Your vibes are always true, babe. But...you know, I didn't need a vibe to know what this ring was for. It was always for you.

[Leaning in, he presses his forehead against Cisco's and then laughs softly, hiccupping halfway through as his breath hitches with some emotion too good for words, eyes falling shut.]

Of course you can tell everyone. You can tell whoever you want. Babe, I want the whole world to know.

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