( the swelling to his lip has gone down significantly, so when he purses his lips it--doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did before. but billy nods his head, shifts over a bit to sit on the edge of the chair so loki can sit down, too. )
( there's part of him that wants to start biting back responses, ask loki what the hell he means by that, he's the one who told billy to come by the sanctum when he needs something but not--
the other part of him says that's a stupid as shit argument and there's no need to get into it now, not when he can turn into loki and shove his way into those arms, wrapping his own tight around the godling's midsection, face shoved into a shoulder. )
[ A huff leaves him as Billy crumples in close and Loki gathers him in as best he can, kisses nosing through Billy's hair as a hand strokes soothing paths up and down a back. This is all that matters, getting to be with Billy and show him how much he cares. The fighting has hurt, its wound won't soon alleviate, but hopefully it can begin to mend. Not getting them back to where they were; somewhere new. Different can still be good, can't it? ]
I missed you more. [ Just to gripe and tease.
His lips find the frown between two brows, pecking there as Loki holds Billy in his lap. ]
'm not crying. ( even if he is getting pretty close to tears. those kisses have him slackening into loki's arms, scrambling to press in as close to loki as he possibly can. he's--missed loki. more than words can really describe. )
I'm really--sorry. ( billy will say it as many times as it takes. ) I didn't mean to hurt you, or upset you, or--any of that. I mean I meant what I said about those guys but--I love you.
( that's so many "I" statements, fuck is he bad at this. )
You're important. You--need to be treated like you're important. Sorry if I was. . getting too self-absorbed.
[ He listens to Billy get out what he can, letting the apologies wash over him and soothe the last of his wounded pride. That's all it takes, hearing Billy say sorry of his own volition, and magically Just Like That ... Loki can't be angry anymore. ]
Don't make me stay in a room if I want to leave. Okay?
[ He just needs confirmation that won't happen again so he can trust Billy. ]
I won't. Promise. ( there are very few and far between scenarios where billy may stop and think--hell, being a giant dick is necessary. but he's so tired of fighting, so tired of being tired and of feeling like a piece of crap he would rather sacrifice the ability to make one specific move than to try and argue a point.
being able to press into loki is such a huge relief; he shifts his weight forward a bit, noses into the curve of a neck with a soft sound. ) Don't want to fight anymore. I'm so tired of fighting.
[ Coaxing up Billy's chin so Loki can deposit a soft kiss on those longed-for lips, he keeps it chaste and sensual what with how close they are, gently stroking his way down hips and a thigh to gather Billy's legs across his lap and have him entirely in his embrace. Loki is entirely willing to make up without words, for once, especially with Billy making whiny little noises. ]
( it's been two weeks. his lip has had time to deal, but the pressure still has brows pinching tight even as he's pressing into the kiss. fingers fist tight into the fabric of loki's hoodie, pulling him down and in with another soft, needy whine but--it doesn't last for long before billy pulls away enough to form words, speaking soft against loki's lips: )
Are you sure? I--I talked to Teddy, told him it was maybe better if I just. . stayed out of relationships. I keep hurting you. Him.
[ The cuts, the fading bruises, Loki is mindful of each even when Billy is the one pressing in for more. Now that he has him in his arms and can look into those emotionally charged hazel eyes, he has no idea how he ever considered backing out of this (whatever it now is) at all.
He brushes Billy's bangs aside, toying with the ends. ]
I went to Teddy. He knows I won't be mad or hurt if you two spend time together as a couple again, all I want is to have my own moments with you. [ Tilting his head, he tries to lighten the tone. ] When all's said and done, I suppose I've been in odder relationships.
( a month of shitty fights is what they've had. bitching back and forth about--everything, stupid or not, and even if billy does want to have the last word on a lot of it, bitch and scream loki down for a lot of the crap he has put billy through lately, he's--keeping his mouth shut.
shaking his head, and cupping cool cheeks between palms to pull loki in for another kiss. lets his teeth press into the godling's lower lip with a soft, pleased sound. tired as he is, billy's missed this, too. missed how loki feels against him, his voice, the weight of him. )
I need you to talk to me. ( it's breathed soft against lips, before billy presses in for another kiss. ) If something's wrong, if I'm being stupid or selfish, if I'm hurting you. Please don't--just walk away.
[ A low hum responds to the nip on his lip and he takes a hand in his own to brush his thumb over Billy's knuckles. He nods, telling himself he won't have to lie. ]
I will. [ His gaze flickers to the rest of the room. ] Are you living here now?
( it's--a rather open space, which is further accented by how empty the living areas still are. the kitchen, dining room, and living room all make a nice rounded out area in the middle, while a hall leads to the front door, and rooms are all along the edge of the apartment. billy's bedroom door is just to the side of the television set, while the other bedroom is--on the complete opposite side of the apartment, closer to the dining room.
they were very careful to pick a place where they didn't share a bedroom wall.
but billy nods his head, follows loki's gaze as fingers move to intertwine with the other's own. )
With Tommy. I didn't--want to be in the Sanctum after everything.
( all of this is hard as fuck to deal with--but this feels so much better. enough that billy isn't going to sit here and question it or how any of this works or bitch loki out for earlier.
instead he curls up tigher, rests a cheek against loki's collar comfortably. )
Yeah, okay. You always liked that one best anyway ...
[ Loki disentangles a hand to gesture toward Billy's bedroom; the light that glows around his fingertips matches one from beneath the door. Unicorn and bear pelts are now on his bed.
The same hand drifts along Billy's neck, then down his back to encapsulate him all over again. Chins his hair and sighs, just as content to be together than to harass the details. ]
Want me to stay tonight? [ And then, as the thought arises, ] Have you eaten a proper dinner?
[ Amongst weeks of stress, he doubts his teen boyfriend has ventured anywhere near a hot plate. That's partly Loki's fault. It's also been strange, not cooking for someone who genuinely needs sustenance unlike a forgetful god who snacks on bacon. ]
I don't know if you've realized this, but I'm pretty sure that the combined cooking capability of Tommy and me is still less skill than you have in your little finger.
( no, he hasn't eaten worth jack shit lately. it's fine, he's young, his body can handle it. billy's hand shakes loki's off, only so he can grab onto the hems of the godling's hoodie and stretch it out enough to tuck himself under it. get himself a little cozier under the extra layer of fabric. his voice is muffled under it when he speaks again, grumbling out a, )
Eat later, more cuddling now.
( clearly the cuddling is the most important part, ok. )
I'll make breakfast ... if you still want me here come daybreak.
[ Cuddle Time is important but it won't last forever and Loki doesn't want to overstay his welcome on their first night back together. Billy has been redefining his life without him, one way or another, and the fact he has found somewhere else to live makes Loki saddest of all. His regrets are many.
In the flickering illumination of the TV, lips brushing Billy's hairline, he softly reaffirms, ] I love you.
I'm sorry about everything, Billy. In particular, my dramatic ay-eff temperament.
( he could apologize again. tell loki once more how sorry he is, how much he's fucked up, but--that's just going to get them stuck in an endless loop of apologies, and no one wants to deal with that. instead billy shoves his face into loki's chest, trails fingers soft over ribs.
life inside loki's hoodie is the best life, he doesn't want to live any other way thanks. ) We're both overly dramatic. None of this was just on you, it--was a group effort.
( just not the right kind. )
I'm really sorry, too. I'll make it up to you, later. Promise. When 'm less tired.
M'kay. [ Every anxiety is soothed by the sensation of being touched for the sake of it, the closeness of their relationship has never been the (excellent) sex or their (un)similar mindsets but, instead, a mutual respect and adoration that is all-encompassing of virtues and flaws alike. Loki knows he and Billy are far from perfect, yet trying hard to be their best and keep each other safe, loved, and aware of the latter in particular, is a job neither has ever shied away from.
Snuggled together on the beanbag, he hums the old lullaby that Billy once liked, repeating the tune in a rumble that rises through his chest. ]
( he should be more focused on loki. that's--part of what caused this, isn't it: billy being selfish, billy not paying enough attention, being self-centered and leaving loki feeling unwanted. it's not fair to sit here getting sung to sleep when he's not the only person with problems, when it's his fault most of this shit exploded to this degree, but-- )
I really do need you, Lo'. ( it's murmured soft under his breath, body slackening comfortably into loki's arms as he dozes off comfortably. a ratty beanbag isn't a great bed, no, but the person he's on it with more than makes up for it. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Sorry, I didn't. . get out to get furniture yet.
no subject
[ Loki sinks down in the beanbag (a bit too heavy, oops), managing to catch his balance and ... open his arms to Billy, inviting him into a hug. ]
Or I'll help you pick some out anyway, if you like this place. Either way.
no subject
the other part of him says that's a stupid as shit argument and there's no need to get into it now, not when he can turn into loki and shove his way into those arms, wrapping his own tight around the godling's midsection, face shoved into a shoulder. )
I missed you.
no subject
I missed you more. [ Just to gripe and tease.
His lips find the frown between two brows, pecking there as Loki holds Billy in his lap. ]
Everything will work out now, no more tears.
no subject
I'm really--sorry. ( billy will say it as many times as it takes. ) I didn't mean to hurt you, or upset you, or--any of that. I mean I meant what I said about those guys but--I love you.
( that's so many "I" statements, fuck is he bad at this. )
You're important. You--need to be treated like you're important. Sorry if I was. . getting too self-absorbed.
no subject
Don't make me stay in a room if I want to leave. Okay?
[ He just needs confirmation that won't happen again so he can trust Billy. ]
no subject
being able to press into loki is such a huge relief; he shifts his weight forward a bit, noses into the curve of a neck with a soft sound. ) Don't want to fight anymore. I'm so tired of fighting.
no subject
[ Coaxing up Billy's chin so Loki can deposit a soft kiss on those longed-for lips, he keeps it chaste and sensual what with how close they are, gently stroking his way down hips and a thigh to gather Billy's legs across his lap and have him entirely in his embrace. Loki is entirely willing to make up without words, for once, especially with Billy making whiny little noises. ]
no subject
Are you sure? I--I talked to Teddy, told him it was maybe better if I just. . stayed out of relationships. I keep hurting you. Him.
( not a no, but a question. )
no subject
He brushes Billy's bangs aside, toying with the ends. ]
I went to Teddy. He knows I won't be mad or hurt if you two spend time together as a couple again, all I want is to have my own moments with you. [ Tilting his head, he tries to lighten the tone. ] When all's said and done, I suppose I've been in odder relationships.
no subject
shaking his head, and cupping cool cheeks between palms to pull loki in for another kiss. lets his teeth press into the godling's lower lip with a soft, pleased sound. tired as he is, billy's missed this, too. missed how loki feels against him, his voice, the weight of him. )
I need you to talk to me. ( it's breathed soft against lips, before billy presses in for another kiss. ) If something's wrong, if I'm being stupid or selfish, if I'm hurting you. Please don't--just walk away.
no subject
I will. [ His gaze flickers to the rest of the room. ] Are you living here now?
no subject
they were very careful to pick a place where they didn't share a bedroom wall.
but billy nods his head, follows loki's gaze as fingers move to intertwine with the other's own. )
With Tommy. I didn't--want to be in the Sanctum after everything.
no subject
[ His chin rests by a temple, nuzzling as their hands play together. ]
no subject
I, um. I can't sleep by myself anymore.
no subject
[ More kisses press possessively to Billy's hair, sweeping up until Loki can rest his chin atop a soft crown. ]
Then, may I stay over here if you're not at the Sanctum?
no subject
( all of this is hard as fuck to deal with--but this feels so much better. enough that billy isn't going to sit here and question it or how any of this works or bitch loki out for earlier.
instead he curls up tigher, rests a cheek against loki's collar comfortably. )
And I want the unicorn fur back.
no subject
[ Loki disentangles a hand to gesture toward Billy's bedroom; the light that glows around his fingertips matches one from beneath the door. Unicorn and bear pelts are now on his bed.
The same hand drifts along Billy's neck, then down his back to encapsulate him all over again. Chins his hair and sighs, just as content to be together than to harass the details. ]
Want me to stay tonight? [ And then, as the thought arises, ] Have you eaten a proper dinner?
[ Amongst weeks of stress, he doubts his teen boyfriend has ventured anywhere near a hot plate. That's partly Loki's fault. It's also been strange, not cooking for someone who genuinely needs sustenance unlike a forgetful god who snacks on bacon. ]
no subject
( no, he hasn't eaten worth jack shit lately. it's fine, he's young, his body can handle it. billy's hand shakes loki's off, only so he can grab onto the hems of the godling's hoodie and stretch it out enough to tuck himself under it. get himself a little cozier under the extra layer of fabric. his voice is muffled under it when he speaks again, grumbling out a, )
Eat later, more cuddling now.
( clearly the cuddling is the most important part, ok. )
no subject
[ Cuddle Time is important but it won't last forever and Loki doesn't want to overstay his welcome on their first night back together. Billy has been redefining his life without him, one way or another, and the fact he has found somewhere else to live makes Loki saddest of all. His regrets are many.
In the flickering illumination of the TV, lips brushing Billy's hairline, he softly reaffirms, ] I love you.
I'm sorry about everything, Billy. In particular, my dramatic ay-eff temperament.
no subject
( he could apologize again. tell loki once more how sorry he is, how much he's fucked up, but--that's just going to get them stuck in an endless loop of apologies, and no one wants to deal with that. instead billy shoves his face into loki's chest, trails fingers soft over ribs.
life inside loki's hoodie is the best life, he doesn't want to live any other way thanks. ) We're both overly dramatic. None of this was just on you, it--was a group effort.
( just not the right kind. )
I'm really sorry, too. I'll make it up to you, later. Promise. When 'm less tired.
no subject
Snuggled together on the beanbag, he hums the old lullaby that Billy once liked, repeating the tune in a rumble that rises through his chest. ]
no subject
I really do need you, Lo'. ( it's murmured soft under his breath, body slackening comfortably into loki's arms as he dozes off comfortably. a ratty beanbag isn't a great bed, no, but the person he's on it with more than makes up for it. )