( a month of shitty fights is what they've had. bitching back and forth about--everything, stupid or not, and even if billy does want to have the last word on a lot of it, bitch and scream loki down for a lot of the crap he has put billy through lately, he's--keeping his mouth shut.
shaking his head, and cupping cool cheeks between palms to pull loki in for another kiss. lets his teeth press into the godling's lower lip with a soft, pleased sound. tired as he is, billy's missed this, too. missed how loki feels against him, his voice, the weight of him. )
I need you to talk to me. ( it's breathed soft against lips, before billy presses in for another kiss. ) If something's wrong, if I'm being stupid or selfish, if I'm hurting you. Please don't--just walk away.
[ A low hum responds to the nip on his lip and he takes a hand in his own to brush his thumb over Billy's knuckles. He nods, telling himself he won't have to lie. ]
I will. [ His gaze flickers to the rest of the room. ] Are you living here now?
( it's--a rather open space, which is further accented by how empty the living areas still are. the kitchen, dining room, and living room all make a nice rounded out area in the middle, while a hall leads to the front door, and rooms are all along the edge of the apartment. billy's bedroom door is just to the side of the television set, while the other bedroom is--on the complete opposite side of the apartment, closer to the dining room.
they were very careful to pick a place where they didn't share a bedroom wall.
but billy nods his head, follows loki's gaze as fingers move to intertwine with the other's own. )
With Tommy. I didn't--want to be in the Sanctum after everything.
( all of this is hard as fuck to deal with--but this feels so much better. enough that billy isn't going to sit here and question it or how any of this works or bitch loki out for earlier.
instead he curls up tigher, rests a cheek against loki's collar comfortably. )
Yeah, okay. You always liked that one best anyway ...
[ Loki disentangles a hand to gesture toward Billy's bedroom; the light that glows around his fingertips matches one from beneath the door. Unicorn and bear pelts are now on his bed.
The same hand drifts along Billy's neck, then down his back to encapsulate him all over again. Chins his hair and sighs, just as content to be together than to harass the details. ]
Want me to stay tonight? [ And then, as the thought arises, ] Have you eaten a proper dinner?
[ Amongst weeks of stress, he doubts his teen boyfriend has ventured anywhere near a hot plate. That's partly Loki's fault. It's also been strange, not cooking for someone who genuinely needs sustenance unlike a forgetful god who snacks on bacon. ]
I don't know if you've realized this, but I'm pretty sure that the combined cooking capability of Tommy and me is still less skill than you have in your little finger.
( no, he hasn't eaten worth jack shit lately. it's fine, he's young, his body can handle it. billy's hand shakes loki's off, only so he can grab onto the hems of the godling's hoodie and stretch it out enough to tuck himself under it. get himself a little cozier under the extra layer of fabric. his voice is muffled under it when he speaks again, grumbling out a, )
Eat later, more cuddling now.
( clearly the cuddling is the most important part, ok. )
I'll make breakfast ... if you still want me here come daybreak.
[ Cuddle Time is important but it won't last forever and Loki doesn't want to overstay his welcome on their first night back together. Billy has been redefining his life without him, one way or another, and the fact he has found somewhere else to live makes Loki saddest of all. His regrets are many.
In the flickering illumination of the TV, lips brushing Billy's hairline, he softly reaffirms, ] I love you.
I'm sorry about everything, Billy. In particular, my dramatic ay-eff temperament.
( he could apologize again. tell loki once more how sorry he is, how much he's fucked up, but--that's just going to get them stuck in an endless loop of apologies, and no one wants to deal with that. instead billy shoves his face into loki's chest, trails fingers soft over ribs.
life inside loki's hoodie is the best life, he doesn't want to live any other way thanks. ) We're both overly dramatic. None of this was just on you, it--was a group effort.
( just not the right kind. )
I'm really sorry, too. I'll make it up to you, later. Promise. When 'm less tired.
M'kay. [ Every anxiety is soothed by the sensation of being touched for the sake of it, the closeness of their relationship has never been the (excellent) sex or their (un)similar mindsets but, instead, a mutual respect and adoration that is all-encompassing of virtues and flaws alike. Loki knows he and Billy are far from perfect, yet trying hard to be their best and keep each other safe, loved, and aware of the latter in particular, is a job neither has ever shied away from.
Snuggled together on the beanbag, he hums the old lullaby that Billy once liked, repeating the tune in a rumble that rises through his chest. ]
( he should be more focused on loki. that's--part of what caused this, isn't it: billy being selfish, billy not paying enough attention, being self-centered and leaving loki feeling unwanted. it's not fair to sit here getting sung to sleep when he's not the only person with problems, when it's his fault most of this shit exploded to this degree, but-- )
I really do need you, Lo'. ( it's murmured soft under his breath, body slackening comfortably into loki's arms as he dozes off comfortably. a ratty beanbag isn't a great bed, no, but the person he's on it with more than makes up for it. )
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shaking his head, and cupping cool cheeks between palms to pull loki in for another kiss. lets his teeth press into the godling's lower lip with a soft, pleased sound. tired as he is, billy's missed this, too. missed how loki feels against him, his voice, the weight of him. )
I need you to talk to me. ( it's breathed soft against lips, before billy presses in for another kiss. ) If something's wrong, if I'm being stupid or selfish, if I'm hurting you. Please don't--just walk away.
no subject
I will. [ His gaze flickers to the rest of the room. ] Are you living here now?
no subject
they were very careful to pick a place where they didn't share a bedroom wall.
but billy nods his head, follows loki's gaze as fingers move to intertwine with the other's own. )
With Tommy. I didn't--want to be in the Sanctum after everything.
no subject
[ His chin rests by a temple, nuzzling as their hands play together. ]
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I, um. I can't sleep by myself anymore.
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[ More kisses press possessively to Billy's hair, sweeping up until Loki can rest his chin atop a soft crown. ]
Then, may I stay over here if you're not at the Sanctum?
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( all of this is hard as fuck to deal with--but this feels so much better. enough that billy isn't going to sit here and question it or how any of this works or bitch loki out for earlier.
instead he curls up tigher, rests a cheek against loki's collar comfortably. )
And I want the unicorn fur back.
no subject
[ Loki disentangles a hand to gesture toward Billy's bedroom; the light that glows around his fingertips matches one from beneath the door. Unicorn and bear pelts are now on his bed.
The same hand drifts along Billy's neck, then down his back to encapsulate him all over again. Chins his hair and sighs, just as content to be together than to harass the details. ]
Want me to stay tonight? [ And then, as the thought arises, ] Have you eaten a proper dinner?
[ Amongst weeks of stress, he doubts his teen boyfriend has ventured anywhere near a hot plate. That's partly Loki's fault. It's also been strange, not cooking for someone who genuinely needs sustenance unlike a forgetful god who snacks on bacon. ]
no subject
( no, he hasn't eaten worth jack shit lately. it's fine, he's young, his body can handle it. billy's hand shakes loki's off, only so he can grab onto the hems of the godling's hoodie and stretch it out enough to tuck himself under it. get himself a little cozier under the extra layer of fabric. his voice is muffled under it when he speaks again, grumbling out a, )
Eat later, more cuddling now.
( clearly the cuddling is the most important part, ok. )
no subject
[ Cuddle Time is important but it won't last forever and Loki doesn't want to overstay his welcome on their first night back together. Billy has been redefining his life without him, one way or another, and the fact he has found somewhere else to live makes Loki saddest of all. His regrets are many.
In the flickering illumination of the TV, lips brushing Billy's hairline, he softly reaffirms, ] I love you.
I'm sorry about everything, Billy. In particular, my dramatic ay-eff temperament.
no subject
( he could apologize again. tell loki once more how sorry he is, how much he's fucked up, but--that's just going to get them stuck in an endless loop of apologies, and no one wants to deal with that. instead billy shoves his face into loki's chest, trails fingers soft over ribs.
life inside loki's hoodie is the best life, he doesn't want to live any other way thanks. ) We're both overly dramatic. None of this was just on you, it--was a group effort.
( just not the right kind. )
I'm really sorry, too. I'll make it up to you, later. Promise. When 'm less tired.
no subject
Snuggled together on the beanbag, he hums the old lullaby that Billy once liked, repeating the tune in a rumble that rises through his chest. ]
no subject
I really do need you, Lo'. ( it's murmured soft under his breath, body slackening comfortably into loki's arms as he dozes off comfortably. a ratty beanbag isn't a great bed, no, but the person he's on it with more than makes up for it. )