I'm definitely into that. [He pulls out his phone to put in a quick order. It's-- something else to focus on, at least. It's kind of weird, having Loki in his apartment, but-- hopefully it goes better this time. Teddy isn't angry anymore, mostly just-- sad. Heart broken.
So's Loki, he figures.
And he's not about to blame him for it. None of them really planned for any of this to happen... it all just kind of blew up.
But at least they're both trying to-- do this, right? Be friendly with each other. It's nice. After the pizza is ordered, he gives Loki a quick smile.]
Thanks. The Kaplans were nice enough to give me a room back home, and I'm grateful for that, don't get me wrong, but... having a place of your own is kind of great.
[He reaches for one of the beers, looking at it curiously, wondering if it's some sort of super strength Asgardian beer or just something normal. Teddy is fine either way, just one doesn't have that much of an effect.]
So-- pizza, beers, and maybe a movie or something?
[ Home-brewed beers from Trixie, labelled Green Miles; a descendant of the only drink sold that gets supers and gods drunk. Loki invested in all the most important arenas.
He looks up again after talk of the Kaplans is over, having wilted, sliding a beer Teddy's way. ]
My own special brew, you'll just have to trust me. [ Haha, that joke never gets old. Taking a sip! ] I vote on an action movie.
[Kaplan is probably a name he doesn't want to hear right now.
He takes the beer and huffs out a laugh.]
I used to sneak into clubs and bars as Tony Stark and Johnny Storm... people would give me every kind of drink imaginable, but I'm still pretty sure this</> is going to be stronger than any of that, coming from a god.
[But yeah, okay, bottoms up. And okay, yeah, it's strong but Teddy gives an approving hum of noise.] Action movie, it is. Want to get settled? I have a couch and a bed... either one sees the TV pretty clear.
[Although bed might be kinda awkward... he just doesn't have much seating...]
It was designed to be potent enough to get an Asgardian drunk, so ... Yes. We have a policy in my club that no one but superhumans and the like are served a Green Mile, ale or cocktail, otherwise they may pass out on the spot.
[ He nods to the couch, heading through. That works better than a bed, yikes. ]
Why did you shapeshift into the others? Teen curiosity?
Wow-- how many people have tried to sneak it anyway?
[He moves to sit on the other side of the couch, giving a shrug of his shoulders as he picks up the remote to turn on the TV.]
Mostly? Because this guy-- Greg, he liked that he could use me to get him in all the cool places, and I really wanted to be liked. Or at least popular.
[And that meant a lot of bad choices along the way...] Plus, I guess some of it was just for fun too. Getting to pretend to be this big hero for a night, have fans fawn over you for a bit or slip you numbers. That probably makes me sound like a jerk, right? I don't do that kind of stuff anymore, obviously...
[ Chinning a hand on the back of the couch, Loki folds a leg over and sips his beer while attentively arching a brow at Teddy's story. Kind of a sad tale but also, ]
Mischievous, I'd say. [ The authority on it sounding amused. ] Now you're famous in your own right, of course. The daring Hulking.
[But he's kind of looking forward to drinking something that might have an effect on him. He won't get drunk on Loki, but pleasantly buzzed might be nice for a change.]
Well, I guess the god of mischief would know best on that, right? [He looks over at Loki, flashing a genuine grin, dimples and all.]
I don't know about famous, but it's kinda neat to see my face pop up in cheesy tabloid magazines sometimes, or see debates about Hulkling online.
[Usually speculating on his relationship status with a certain mage he's definitely not naming or who he could win in a fight against... but it's neat nonetheless.]
I bet your stuff on the internet is something else though. Did you ever try to search it out?
[ Teddy is like a hearty wholesome breakfast with his stupidly sweet face. He is totally the proverbially buttery toast after a wild night out, dimpled and all. ]
Oh, I don't need to search myself to find the fanbase. [ He gestures with his beer to his temple, tapping. ] Whenever I tune in, there is a plethora of prayers awaiting.
Right-- I forgot about that. You're a god-- you probably hear prayers a lot.
[He lets himself actually study Loki for a moment -- pick apart the differences. The last time he saw him back home, he was a kid, barely a teenager. Sometimes obnoxious, sometimes far too knowing, and sometimes cute in a very Loki way... but then, Teddy's always had patience to spare, especially for people younger than him.
But he's not that kid anymore. He's grown up so much... changed so much. It's interesting to pick out the changes, what's stayed the same.
He huffs out a laugh at the tweet comment.]
Doesn't everyone? [He pauses, giving Loki a more-- serious look.]
So-- um. How have you been? I know probably not okay...
[ Taller, broader, two years soaking up Manhattan's culture has made Loki's body finally his own like any young man from New York, with an ease to his long limbs that retreats when Teddy asks the million dollar question. That's when his ankle draws back to rest on a knee, foot twitching. The explosions of the nonsense movie are appreciated solely for how they fill any pauses. ]
I feel like I've cut off a limb and I'm relearning how to approach simple tasks. [ Like waking up alone, having no one to come back to at night, missing the way Billy curled up in his arms in their bed. It doesn't seem right without him. Loki glances up knowingly at Teddy. ] Although, I suspect you know exactly what that's like. Sorry.
[ An actual apology for being a homewrecker and then turning Teddy into one. ]
... Thanks. I'm sorry too, for everything. And I know I said things that were unfair and mean... I should have known better. [And okay, for how ever nice people think he is, he can be a jerk sometimes, when he blows up. He knows that.
He lets out a sigh.]
I know how that is though. You never realize how much you'll miss simple things like-- cuddling up on the couch or just certain looks and touches that you didn't realize meant the world until you don't have them anymore.
[He huffs out a sigh.] I'm an orphaned alien prince... I generally always feel pretty much alone everywhere, but I'm trying to be grateful for the couple years that I didn't so much at least. It's all you can do, right?
[And he is grateful. It's just a sore spot.] Are you going to talk to him? Try to work things out?
[ Billy Kaplan, scourge to young men's hearts everywhere his adorably floppy fringe goes. ]
I don't know. He has an emotional gravity that makes me forget I have relevance too. [ It's a breather, hard though it is, to not be wondering where Billy is and how he is and whether he needs anything. Fishing out his phone, Loki finds the text recently sent and hands it over for Teddy to read. ] That's the most selfless I've heard him in a while.
I guess it's a thing... You're around Billy, and you just want to take care of him, right? I think-- it's something I loved and kinda... hated. Feeling useful to at least one person was great, especially someone who's as amazing as he is, but it was easy to ignore-- well, myself sometimes. A lot of the time, maybe. I just wanted him to be happy.
[And no, that's not good, he knows. It's codependent and messy, but it was a mostly happy mess at least. It made him feel useful and wanted, and that's something Teddy has always struggled with.
He takes the phone to read it over, giving a wry smile before handing it back.]
He's-- bad about saying the wrong things sometimes, you know. He means well, but sometimes he reacts and says stuff that hurts or does stuff that feels like a slap in the face. But he'll always try to make it up after, if you give him a chance.
[As much as he can at least.] I'm-- sorry. I know I said it earlier, but I still feel like I made a mess of things by showing up... which might not have been intentional, but.
[It still happened, either way.] I don't want to hurt either of you, you know? If it makes it-- easier, or better, I'll stay away. Or whatever you want me to do. I'm just-- kind of at a loss for how to help or fix things, you know? I'm more the muscle type, not the brains type.
[Although he has a feeling that attempt at a joke falls kind of flat.]
[ What a relief not to have to explain what he means. When it comes to Billy there is certainly hard work involved but of the incredibly rewarding kind, it just ... becomes apparent, after a while, that Billy is a bit spoiled and liable to have kicky-fits if he can't get answers when and how he wants them. Loki ought to have been a bit stricter, perhaps, but it's hard when he needs someone else to be his anchor. Billy is a wonderful moral compass and yet Loki used him as one so often, so casually, that when his own veered out of Billy's wavelength they fought over dead criminals. It's as much his fault for pretending to be a pristine hero as it is Billy's for encouraging him to be one.
Loki's head hurts. He hates guilt above all. ]
You were always going to return to him, I think I may even have pointed that out a few times when he and I started getting serious. It's not something you need to apologise for. I knew I couldn't keep him forever.
[ Loki has never been anybody's "One", he doubts he ever will be. That's too constant and reliable for the shitty life he was written by fate, even if he has no Ragnaroks to contend with obliterating his efforts again. It's all just him. ]
I had everything stripped away when I came here, then he made me feel special. That's all. I wanted to hold onto that.
He doesn't want me-- or just me anyway. I mean, look at that text, Loki. He pretty much says as much... If he'd chosen me, he wouldn't have refused to kiss me when we first saw each other. I'm just-- the ex, right?
[Loki had said as much, and it had hurt hearing at the time and had felt cruel, but it's... true. Teddy knows that.
He hesitates, but after a moment, he reaches over with his free hand to rest against Loki's shoulder again, hoping it's a comforting gesture instead of an invasive one.]
Maybe I don't know that exact feeling, but I know wanting to feel-- special, to feel important. But, Loki, you kind of just are special, no matter what else is happening. And not just because you're this god of mischief... I mean there's that. But you came over here with beer when you never had to see me again. I know we had our arguments, but you've been-- kind when you didn't have to be. You saved Billy and me from crazed fanatics that wanted to sacrifice us... [He gives a wry smile.]
Look, I can see why he fell for you, that's all I'm saying. And I don't think you have to give it up.
Why are you being so nice? I ruined your life. You should be battering me through the nearest wall.
[ Anyone else absolutely would. Teddy's hand on his arm is a warm, welcome weight, but Loki can't get his head around where this generosity of spirit is coming from. A note of desperation whines in his throat because it would be easier to be loathed. It is. ]
I seduced him into my bed, don't you want to hate me?
What would beating you up do, Loki? It'd hurt Billy and it'd hurt you-- and it wouldn't fix the fact that my heart broke the minute I arrived here. Even for people who should be invincible, life can be over in the blink of an eye, Loki.
[He should know that much. He saw his mom burn alive with his own eyes and still couldn't stomach seeing the Super-Skrull who caused it die either. He just-- can't be that kind of guy. Mostly because he doesn't want to be.]
It's too short to sit around hating everyone. I don't want to do that.
[He gives a helpless shrug of his shoulders, and he can't mask the hurt on his face or the wince, but his hand only tightens a little in comfort. He figures Loki is trying to get him to react, to get angry, but-- he won't. He's not arguing.]
I don't want to hate you... If Billy thinks you're important or special... if he thinks you're worth it, then you are.
[ He stares at Teddy like the blonde might be suffering a concussion or not understand his own situation, that he should be livid and punishing Loki for fucking up. Instead of feeling a fist he continues to have a hand on his shoulder, a swiftly decreasing part of his expectation telling him he will feel knuckles soon. ]
He scared me. When he made me move back into the room.
[ It's a quiet confession, as though he suspects he'll be mocked. ]
I don't think he's had many boundaries put in place, either by his parents or anyone else. Billy does as Billy will.
[ Loki would know something about forcing himself to contain angry urges that hurt other people. He nods, acknowledging that he knows Billy wasn't trying to scare him with that show of power, but ... ]
It felt like the equivalent of being dragged back into the room by my hair, if hair were magic.
Tell me about it... He single-handedly invaded Latveria despite every warning not to. He's stubborn and stupid sometimes.
[It's just usually Billy's bad decisions don't involve dragging people back or hurting them... well, usually. There were the comas and the wishing death, but those were extremely tense situations.]
I'm sorry... I was shocked he did it too, honestly.
[ Loki will forgive him eventually, just not any time soon. It was too close to being dragged around to face his crimes in Asgardia, a feeling he never wants to relive.
He slumps sideways against Teddy. After a moment, he sighs as though having debated a heavy decision. ]
[When Loki slumps against him, he reaches up to brush his fingers through his hair lightly, carefully. It's a gesture Billy always finds soothing, and hopefully Loki does too.
He gives a wry smile at that.]
Are you sure, Loki? You haven't seemed that happy with it... and I don't want you to be miserable.
Aye. [ Defeated by tiredness and worn down from stress, he wants anything but to feel this way. Lonesome and empty. ] I suspect you and I will need a break sometimes, we can tag-team.
[ With a canny look sideways, as he tilts his head back into the stroking hand in his hair. ]
Okay... okay. Tag-teaming might actually be a good idea sometimes. We'll talk to Billy sometime, okay? Or-- you can talk to him first. I don't know how to approach this kind of stuff.
[He gives a short smile when Loki tilts back like that, keeping up the slow motions since they seem welcomed.]
Feeling a little better? [Now that he's had a chance to talk to someone, come to some sort of decision by the looks of it.]
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So's Loki, he figures.
And he's not about to blame him for it. None of them really planned for any of this to happen... it all just kind of blew up.
But at least they're both trying to-- do this, right? Be friendly with each other. It's nice. After the pizza is ordered, he gives Loki a quick smile.]
Thanks. The Kaplans were nice enough to give me a room back home, and I'm grateful for that, don't get me wrong, but... having a place of your own is kind of great.
[He reaches for one of the beers, looking at it curiously, wondering if it's some sort of super strength Asgardian beer or just something normal. Teddy is fine either way, just one doesn't have that much of an effect.]
So-- pizza, beers, and maybe a movie or something?
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He looks up again after talk of the Kaplans is over, having wilted, sliding a beer Teddy's way. ]
My own special brew, you'll just have to trust me. [ Haha, that joke never gets old. Taking a sip! ] I vote on an action movie.
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[Kaplan is probably a name he doesn't want to hear right now.
He takes the beer and huffs out a laugh.]
I used to sneak into clubs and bars as Tony Stark and Johnny Storm... people would give me every kind of drink imaginable, but I'm still pretty sure this</> is going to be stronger than any of that, coming from a god.
[But yeah, okay, bottoms up. And okay, yeah, it's strong but Teddy gives an approving hum of noise.] Action movie, it is. Want to get settled? I have a couch and a bed... either one sees the TV pretty clear.
[Although bed might be kinda awkward... he just doesn't have much seating...]
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[ He nods to the couch, heading through. That works better than a bed, yikes. ]
Why did you shapeshift into the others? Teen curiosity?
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[He moves to sit on the other side of the couch, giving a shrug of his shoulders as he picks up the remote to turn on the TV.]
Mostly? Because this guy-- Greg, he liked that he could use me to get him in all the cool places, and I really wanted to be liked. Or at least popular.
[And that meant a lot of bad choices along the way...] Plus, I guess some of it was just for fun too. Getting to pretend to be this big hero for a night, have fans fawn over you for a bit or slip you numbers. That probably makes me sound like a jerk, right? I don't do that kind of stuff anymore, obviously...
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[ Chinning a hand on the back of the couch, Loki folds a leg over and sips his beer while attentively arching a brow at Teddy's story. Kind of a sad tale but also, ]
Mischievous, I'd say. [ The authority on it sounding amused. ] Now you're famous in your own right, of course. The daring Hulking.
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[But he's kind of looking forward to drinking something that might have an effect on him. He won't get drunk on Loki, but pleasantly buzzed might be nice for a change.]
Well, I guess the god of mischief would know best on that, right? [He looks over at Loki, flashing a genuine grin, dimples and all.]
I don't know about famous, but it's kinda neat to see my face pop up in cheesy tabloid magazines sometimes, or see debates about Hulkling online.
[Usually speculating on his relationship status with a certain mage he's definitely not naming or who he could win in a fight against... but it's neat nonetheless.]
I bet your stuff on the internet is something else though. Did you ever try to search it out?
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Oh, I don't need to search myself to find the fanbase. [ He gestures with his beer to his temple, tapping. ] Whenever I tune in, there is a plethora of prayers awaiting.
... Sometimes I Tweet, admittedly.
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[He lets himself actually study Loki for a moment -- pick apart the differences. The last time he saw him back home, he was a kid, barely a teenager. Sometimes obnoxious, sometimes far too knowing, and sometimes cute in a very Loki way... but then, Teddy's always had patience to spare, especially for people younger than him.
But he's not that kid anymore. He's grown up so much... changed so much. It's interesting to pick out the changes, what's stayed the same.
He huffs out a laugh at the tweet comment.]
Doesn't everyone? [He pauses, giving Loki a more-- serious look.]
So-- um. How have you been? I know probably not okay...
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I feel like I've cut off a limb and I'm relearning how to approach simple tasks. [ Like waking up alone, having no one to come back to at night, missing the way Billy curled up in his arms in their bed. It doesn't seem right without him. Loki glances up knowingly at Teddy. ] Although, I suspect you know exactly what that's like. Sorry.
[ An actual apology for being a homewrecker and then turning Teddy into one. ]
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He lets out a sigh.]
I know how that is though. You never realize how much you'll miss simple things like-- cuddling up on the couch or just certain looks and touches that you didn't realize meant the world until you don't have them anymore.
[He huffs out a sigh.] I'm an orphaned alien prince... I generally always feel pretty much alone everywhere, but I'm trying to be grateful for the couple years that I didn't so much at least. It's all you can do, right?
[And he is grateful. It's just a sore spot.] Are you going to talk to him? Try to work things out?
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I don't know. He has an emotional gravity that makes me forget I have relevance too. [ It's a breather, hard though it is, to not be wondering where Billy is and how he is and whether he needs anything. Fishing out his phone, Loki finds the text recently sent and hands it over for Teddy to read. ] That's the most selfless I've heard him in a while.
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I guess it's a thing... You're around Billy, and you just want to take care of him, right? I think-- it's something I loved and kinda... hated. Feeling useful to at least one person was great, especially someone who's as amazing as he is, but it was easy to ignore-- well, myself sometimes. A lot of the time, maybe. I just wanted him to be happy.
[And no, that's not good, he knows. It's codependent and messy, but it was a mostly happy mess at least. It made him feel useful and wanted, and that's something Teddy has always struggled with.
He takes the phone to read it over, giving a wry smile before handing it back.]
He's-- bad about saying the wrong things sometimes, you know. He means well, but sometimes he reacts and says stuff that hurts or does stuff that feels like a slap in the face. But he'll always try to make it up after, if you give him a chance.
[As much as he can at least.] I'm-- sorry. I know I said it earlier, but I still feel like I made a mess of things by showing up... which might not have been intentional, but.
[It still happened, either way.] I don't want to hurt either of you, you know? If it makes it-- easier, or better, I'll stay away. Or whatever you want me to do. I'm just-- kind of at a loss for how to help or fix things, you know? I'm more the muscle type, not the brains type.
[Although he has a feeling that attempt at a joke falls kind of flat.]
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Loki's head hurts. He hates guilt above all. ]
You were always going to return to him, I think I may even have pointed that out a few times when he and I started getting serious. It's not something you need to apologise for. I knew I couldn't keep him forever.
[ Loki has never been anybody's "One", he doubts he ever will be. That's too constant and reliable for the shitty life he was written by fate, even if he has no Ragnaroks to contend with obliterating his efforts again. It's all just him. ]
I had everything stripped away when I came here, then he made me feel special. That's all. I wanted to hold onto that.
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[Loki had said as much, and it had hurt hearing at the time and had felt cruel, but it's... true. Teddy knows that.
He hesitates, but after a moment, he reaches over with his free hand to rest against Loki's shoulder again, hoping it's a comforting gesture instead of an invasive one.]
Maybe I don't know that exact feeling, but I know wanting to feel-- special, to feel important. But, Loki, you kind of just are special, no matter what else is happening. And not just because you're this god of mischief... I mean there's that. But you came over here with beer when you never had to see me again. I know we had our arguments, but you've been-- kind when you didn't have to be. You saved Billy and me from crazed fanatics that wanted to sacrifice us... [He gives a wry smile.]
Look, I can see why he fell for you, that's all I'm saying. And I don't think you have to give it up.
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Why are you being so nice? I ruined your life. You should be battering me through the nearest wall.
[ Anyone else absolutely would. Teddy's hand on his arm is a warm, welcome weight, but Loki can't get his head around where this generosity of spirit is coming from. A note of desperation whines in his throat because it would be easier to be loathed. It is. ]
I seduced him into my bed, don't you want to hate me?
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[He should know that much. He saw his mom burn alive with his own eyes and still couldn't stomach seeing the Super-Skrull who caused it die either. He just-- can't be that kind of guy. Mostly because he doesn't want to be.]
It's too short to sit around hating everyone. I don't want to do that.
[He gives a helpless shrug of his shoulders, and he can't mask the hurt on his face or the wince, but his hand only tightens a little in comfort. He figures Loki is trying to get him to react, to get angry, but-- he won't. He's not arguing.]
I don't want to hate you... If Billy thinks you're important or special... if he thinks you're worth it, then you are.
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He scared me. When he made me move back into the room.
[ It's a quiet confession, as though he suspects he'll be mocked. ]
He'd never done that before.
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Maybe he should be angry. Maybe he shouldn't be offering comfort, but--
It feels better to be doing that than taking shots when someone is already down.]
I know... I know.
[The fact that Loki had been scared had been-- pretty clear.]
He made a really bad move, Loki, but-- I think it was less malicious and more because he was that afraid of losing you.
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[ Loki would know something about forcing himself to contain angry urges that hurt other people. He nods, acknowledging that he knows Billy wasn't trying to scare him with that show of power, but ... ]
It felt like the equivalent of being dragged back into the room by my hair, if hair were magic.
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[It's just usually Billy's bad decisions don't involve dragging people back or hurting them... well, usually. There were the comas and the wishing death, but those were extremely tense situations.]
I'm sorry... I was shocked he did it too, honestly.
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He slumps sideways against Teddy. After a moment, he sighs as though having debated a heavy decision. ]
I don't mind if we both share him. Only us.
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He gives a wry smile at that.]
Are you sure, Loki? You haven't seemed that happy with it... and I don't want you to be miserable.
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[ With a canny look sideways, as he tilts his head back into the stroking hand in his hair. ]
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[He gives a short smile when Loki tilts back like that, keeping up the slow motions since they seem welcomed.]
Feeling a little better? [Now that he's had a chance to talk to someone, come to some sort of decision by the looks of it.]
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