riverviewlogs | [Semi-Open] No one can blame you for walking away

who: Steve Rogers (616) and whoever wants to join him
what: Missing Loki and looking for distractions
when: backdated from June 6th to around June 15th
where: Around and about
warnings: Beware. There might be a feeling.

i. via the devices; text; closed to previous CR

[He makes it about a day before he starts getting restless. Not just because Loki is gone, but because he really doesn't have much to keep his mind off of the fact. Normally, he'd just bury himself in a mission or find other companionship, but for some reason that's just not appealing. So he tries to find other means of distraction. For those he knows hold odd hours, it might be well past dusk when he sends a message.]

Are you busy?

ii. OPEN; Well, that was the entire plan.

[He really should have come up with a better plan for filling his time. After spending days doing between work, the gym, and long runs around the Quarantine, even Steve is out of ideas for what to do with himself. He considers a trip out beyond the fence, but ultimately gives it up, because he doesn't want to spend too much time away from the city. He tries relaxing in the park or by the riverbank, sketching out scenes in the hope that the peace will just come to him.

So people who happen by will see one frustrated blond tearing a page out of his sketchbook, crumpling up the half-done work and throwing it down with an annoyed grunt. The paper ball joins a collection around his feet as Steve lowers his head in frustration and then lies back where he's been sitting.]

Come on, focus.

iii. OPEN; Everything is totally under control

[Later in the week, it's starting to bleed into his performance. While he's with the Guard or on his own patrol, Steve manages to somehow trip up and fall short on his usually flawless coordination. He's distracted, and during training or some other run he manages to stumble, missing leaps or punches and eventually ending up on the ground. His pride is injured more than his body, but that's suffering a bit too. He gets back up with a grumble of protest to those around him, waving any offer of help away.]

I'm fine. Just a bruise. Let me go again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Steve looks up, smiling at the familiar face greeting him. He needs the break, since apparently all he's managing to do is collect a very creative pile of paper.]

You sure? Don't say that unless you see it.

[He gets to his feet so he can give her a proper greeting.]

Were you going anywhere specific or just enjoying the day?

[Wanda just laughs, feeling much lighter now that she has company.]

It's still better than I could do. [And she doesn't even need to see it to know. Music is her thing, not art.] I think you are too hard on yourself.

It's a nice day. And going for walks helps me clear my mind.

[Her laugh warms him somehow. It's not familiar, but in a way the feeling is. He senses the friendship in it, the sentiment, and that makes all the difference. He relaxes, shaking his head at the idea that the drawings are really all right, but smiling like he might secretly believe it because Wanda said so. She believes it.]

Can I join you? I think I need a clearer head.

Of course. [She smiles, gathering up the crumpled papers in a small wave of scarlet power. It almost seems a shame to throw out so many Steve Rogers originals but clearly his mind is elsewhere. It doesn't take a psychic to see that.]

What's wrong?

[He does at least think to reach for his mess, but Wanda is faster. The magic scoops up his discarded drawings and Steve ends up scratching the back of his head with embarrassment.]

...Am I that obvious? [Oh.] I guess I'm just worried. Loki went home and I wonder if he'll find what he's looking for while he's there.

You wouldn't need a clearer head if you were all right.

[Yes Steve, it's very obvious. It doesn't take Wanda's level of perception to see that, although of all the people she didn't expect Steve to be close to...]

Is he coming back or did he leave?

Mm, I guess you're right.

[He should have thought of that, but Steve is so caught up in doing he doesn't always know what he thinks. Case in point: he's here spinning his wheels with no real outlet.]

He said he was coming back. But we don't know what's happening in our worlds. If something happens, he might not be able to get back.

[She doesn't ask him why he cares, but Steve assumes it's going to sound strange. He waits for that question, meeting her eyes with a nod.]

Not what you thought I'd say?

[There's concern on Wanda's face - should she tell him? It might be nothing. Timelines are weird here, and there's no point in worrying him more if she doesn't need to.]

No. No one's talked about him very much. [Aside from Thor, of course, but what hasn't been said is just as telling as what has. Obviously something strange is going on or someone would have tried to use her as a buffer between them already.] You are close?

I guess not. You probably wouldn't spend much time with the enemy.

[While there could be something sharp in that, there isn't. It's gentle, because he understands the reality of their situation. There's no reason for the Avengers to want to talk to Loki. He knows that.]

We're close. We're... [How do you say it?] seeing each other.

I've never met him. But he's the reason I'm like this. [Indirectly, but of course she doesn't blame him for anything Strucker did and there's no venom in her voice, either. No one made Strucker hurt her people and lie to her but Strucker himself. A beat.] Maybe I should.

[Steve - any Steve, she supposes - has always had a talent for seeing the best in people, and who is Wanda to doubt his judgment? It's only because Steve believed that she could be better that she had been allowed a chance to redeem herself.]

I'm sorry. It's hard to be left wondering.

Loki?

[That one is new, but he's learning that the worlds all have a lot of little details that are new. He doesn't doubt her. That's just another thing he didn't know about Loki or the other Earth. It saddens him; makes him wish he'd known. But he's so far apart from all of them he might as well be a stranger. They have no reason to share their problems with him and Loki, well, Loki still takes time.

It's heavy. All of that truth. Steve raises his head.]

He's not as bad as people believe. And kinder than he wants to admit to. But... I don't want you to be uncomfortable.

He didn't...it wasn't him. He just left the Scepter where someone else could take it.

[The particulars of the other world are beyond her. She knows the other Wanda's powers are different, but not that she was born with them. Or that Sokovia doesn't exist.]

I trust you. And I hope he comes back. [For his sake and Thor's if nothing else. She knows how that feels.]

Scepter?

[The more Steve hears about the other world of Avengers the more he wonders about it. They always seem to mention things he hasn't heard of and struggle with things he wishes he could get some insight into. It's a powerless feeling, not being able to help.]

He said he will. I just have to trust him. And I promise, I'll make sure you have a reason to trust me too.

The Mind Stone. [Maybe that will make more sense to him?] SHIELD took it from Loki, and HYDRA took it from them to make weapons. Pietro and I were the only survivors.

[Wanda raises her right hand to reveal the unnatural scarring on her palm.

A beat passes. Steve Rogers needing to earn her trust? How...odd. It's usually the other way around, although her own Steve would probably insist that the past is in the past.]

You don't need to prove anything to me, Steve.

[That does make more sense to him. The mention of the Infinity Gems sends an electric warning shock down his back. He recognizes enough that his posture tenses, making him stand with almost a threatening pose, like he thinks someone might show up wielding a gem or ready to attack them to claim it. After a moment, the tension passes, but he keeps his frown.]

Hydra did that to you?

[Some Hydra agents need to get punched. He can't reach them, of course, but he's going to keep that in mind if he ever happens to see one show up on their moon.]

I think it's only fair that you have a good reason to trust me, the same you would want from anyone else.

But you're...you. You've never lied to me...and neither of you are what they told us.

[A beat. Well, here goes, since he seems to want to know...]

They told us they were SHIELD, that they could make us like the Avengers so we could protect our people.

[She's not sure how much she needs to explain - she knows the Wanda in his world is different, but not by how much.]

Sokovia has been a war zone most of my life. Everyone wants it for themselves so they can use us as a buffer or build a base of their own and our government sells out to the highest bidder. We wanted to take our home back.

But even now I don't know how much of what we thought was SHIELD and the Americans was actually HYDRA. If you meet a man named Strucker or List...don't trust them. They aren't what they say.

[Semi-Open] No one can blame you for walking away

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