genji shimada | 島田源氏 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flowlikewater) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-06-05 06:26 pm
flowlikewater) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-06-05 06:26 pm
Entry tags:
june closed prompts
who: genji + various
what: closed prompts for specific characters
when: throughout the month
where: all throughout the quarantine
warnings: none yet, will edit accordingly!
what: closed prompts for specific characters
when: throughout the month
where: all throughout the quarantine
warnings: none yet, will edit accordingly!
no subject
I'm glad you like it, I know it's not exactly for everyone.
[ He pours a little more into his own cup and cradles it gently, taking another sip himself. Genji swirls it a little and sighs again. ]
He did tell me. But he knows it's something that shouldn't be all on my shoulders. [ He takes another drink. ] I want him to be able to pull himself out of it for himself.
[ He sudden chuckles in a tired, slightly achy way. Genji looks up at the sky. ]
I never really realized how hard it is to get someone to see the person you see when you look at them. Especially someone you love.
[ Genji fell for Shigeru because he was kind and caring and brilliant. He only hopes he can help him start to see himself that way. ]
Me too. I hadn't... had a real friend in a long time when we met. [ He smiles a little. ] She recognized me from news headlines when I was in Overwatch. I was so surprised because she's quite the celebrity back home. I hadn't felt flattered in years.
[ He turns back to look at him and his smile gets a little more genuine, less tired. ]
Thank you, I appreciate that. I'm sure I will take you up on that. [ Another sip. ] Truthfully, I will probably move. It's a bit too much space for one person and a dog.
no subject
I think him doing it for himself is the only thing that's ever gonna really stick.
[ The whole thing was caused by Shigeru's negative emotions in the first place, so heaping on some fear and guilt over Genji being disappointed by his behavior isn't going to fix anything at all. It is a good sign, though, that Shigeru had been thorough in his recounting. A little more of Cisco's tension bleeds from his shoulders.
And Genji's next comment has Cisco laughing softly, shaking his head. ]
If you figure out how to do that, tell me. Eddie's still got some pretty whack ideas about his own self-worth that I'd really like to just-
[ He doesn't finish the sentence, but then he doesn't have to. The situations aren't exactly the same, of course. Eddie's self-esteem stuff doesn't have quite such devastating consequences (well, apart from contributing to the whole sacrificing his life thing, but Eddie's in a better place than he was then at least).
Cisco's smile turns bittersweet as Genji talks about meeting Hana, feeling flattered by her admiration. ]
Yeah. She's got, like. I don't know. She makes you feel special. I kept telling her she was too cool to be my friend, and she'd just laugh like it wasn't 100% true.
[ He swallows, drinks a little more of the sake. He knows that she went back home for good reasons, and he has always known that his friendships in this place are going to come and go. But Hana... he is going to miss. He would be more distraught, if he weren't determined to figure out a way to communicate with her, across dimensions. But he doesn't want to bring that up yet, to get Genji's hopes up, when he doesn't know how long it might take him to figure out. ]
Oh?
[ It makes sense that Genji would move, but Cisco still feels a pang of sadness, thinking about Genji leaving that apartment where Cisco had become friends with both of them. ]
You gonna find a studio or something?
[ For a moment it occurs to him that he could offer up his own apartment. They've got a spare room, still. But he thinks better of it a moment later. The truth is, he and Eddie like their privacy, and if Genji accepted, he would likely end up feeling like a third wheel. That could be lonelier than having his own place, probably. ]
no subject
[ Genji takes another sip, almost finishing that glass in one sip. ] I don't want him to love an idealized version of me. I have blood on my hands as much as anybody else, and I'm not proud of it.
[ He pours some more but doesn't immediately pick it up to down it again. He can get drunk this time, no point in getting wasted right away. It's a feeling he should savor considering the rarity.
Genji chuckles hoarsely at that. ]
She does. For all she's seen and her status, she never looks down on people. It's quite admirable. [ Then he gives Cisco a look, a brow quirked. ] And you are plenty cool, Cisco. Do not sell yourself so short.
[ He rolls his shoulders with a whir and picks his cup back up, peering at it in the moonlight. ]
Perhaps. Something that at least has enough space for my plants.
[ His gloominess is starting to fade, that last bit the peppiest he's sounded yet. With that, he tips back his head and downs the entire glass in one go, apparently already giving up attempt at savoring it. ]
Enough of this seriousness, it's making me get grayer. This sake is too good to waste on tears.
no subject
He can feel a pleasant sort of lightness starting up in his head, and thinks that he should slow down on the sake. It's tasty, but stronger than beer, which is what he's most used to. He is quiet for a few solemn moments, thinking about how he will be able to help Genji move, how when he finds a new place maybe he'll get him another plant... ]
Hey, come on. You're rocking that gray and you know it.
[ But he takes the cue for what it is, and lets those subjects - Hana leaving, Shigeru's struggles with his powers - fall by the wayside. There are a few moments of silence, the two of them looking down at the bustle of people, before Cisco breaks the silence, voice warm and light: ]
You wanna go shopping for crop tops again?
[ He doesn't really think that Genji will, but Cisco figures the reminder of that strange they spent together, Cisco and the younger version of Genji, might lift his spirits a bit. ]
no subject
He chuckles and runs a few fingers through his temples, roughing up the gray. It puffs out a bit, his hair very similar to his brother's, and he smooths it back down. His roots are terrible and the green is starting to fade. ]
I couldn't stand it at first, but I've grown to like it. Shimada men always go gray once we hit thirty.
[ He goes to take another sip and— almost chokes. At least it only stings the back of his throat a little and he clears it, looking back over to Cisco.
An interesting mélange of facial expressions quickly flit across his face and he sighs, rubbing between his eyes. If his ears were still visible, they'd be very pink. ]
I was so obnoxious. I'm surprised I didn't get arrested.
[ But he drops his hand, smiling a little. ]
Another night we aren't drinking, for sure.
no subject
Naw, come on, you were-
[ He stops midway, because he can't really in good conscience say that Genji's younger self hadn't been obnoxious. Even after his initial suspicion and abrasiveness, when he was comparatively friendly and happy, he'd still been a bit... well... ]
Okay, you were a little obnoxious, but I don't know, man. I liked hanging out with young Genji, for a little while. Saw a whole different side of you.
[ Genji had told Cisco, of course, how different he had been earlier in his life, but seeing is believing. And he'd seen a lot more similarities than he'd expected. Genji has changed, sure. Matured, grown more serious, more respectful, more peaceful - but his sense of humor had always been there. His generosity and wit. The seeds of everything Cisco likes in the Genji he knows now were already present. ]
For what it's worth, I think younger me was pretty obnoxious, too. I made my fair share of unfortunate decisions. Just more ill-advised hook-ups than arrests.
no subject
I was very obnoxious, you don't need to pretend. I was a textbook example of a spoiled kid who wasn't getting enough attention. I've long since come to terms with it.
[ He dips his head back, taking another drink of sake. Genji takes the moment to think how he's quite fortunate to have met Cisco. He would be well within his rights to not want much to do with Genji upon learning his history. ]
But you're right, everyone has... youthful indiscretions. Although I made a good number more than most. The drunk tank in the police station essentially had my family on speed dial after a certain point.
[ He puts the cup down, then eyes Cisco playfully. Now he's starting to feel tipsy. ]
The thought of you being a bit of a playboy is interesting, though.
no subject
I can't think of any other way I woulda wanted to spend the anniversary of me showing up here than hanging out with your punk past self. 'Cuz if I never came here, I wouldn't have ever met you. So... yeah.
[ He belatedly realizes that he is, possibly, progressing to that stage of intoxication where he gets a little too inclined to go on long speeches about how much he loves everyone and how important his friends are to him. But he thinks a little of that wouldn't go amiss tonight, for Genji. ]
Uh-uh. Nope. You got it twisted. I wasn't a player, I was a just a lil' bit slutty: there's a difference.
[ Cisco says it with a preciseness and delicate dignity that he can only maintain for a few moments before he's snorting with laughter. ]
I feel like playboy implies a sorta... I don't know. Thinking I was too good for anybody. And that was definitely not, y'know. The situation.
[ Which is as close as he's going to come to saying that his self-esteem was in the dumpster. But he wants to focus on sunnier things, so he pushes his hair back, swaying just a little as he sits and admitting: ]
Y'know that is kinda what led to me and Eddie getting together? Back when there was that big blackout... I don't know if you were here, yet. It was before we met. But there was this big ol' blackout 'cause of some acid rain and we were stuck inside with nothing to do, so we just started talking about our pasts and I think he thought before that- I don't know, he had a different image of me.