Alex Reagan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
11calls) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-06-01 12:01 am
11calls) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-06-01 12:01 am
Locked.
who: Alex Reagan and Richard Strand
what: Alex getting her missing memories and being canon updated.
when: June 1st
where: Strand/Alex’s apartment in the communal housing.
warnings: The Black Tapes is dark, so there’s a fair amount of that here. Also shippiness.
Alex took a deep breath, and she squeezed Richard’s hand and gave him a quick smile while she held the silver canister in her other one. It wasn’t that she was nervous, not really. Richard had already promised her that this, what this was between them didn’t change, whatever else was going on, and she already had the few hints that she’d managed to pull from him even though she wasn’t actively trying. Not now, anyway. But this was weird and different and new, even if she wanted those weeks and wanted to know what the hell was going on with how everything seemed to be ramping up to something even if she didn’t know quite what it was yet.
But Alex was ready, and she opened the lid of the tube and looked into it, instantly feeling the memories start to rush into her head as if she’d lived them but at a much faster rate that almost seemed to make her dizzy. There was her conversation with Nic and then Virk about Charles Guiteau and his son Daniel, the missing Child 29. All of the things that Virk had told her about Duris and his connections with Russia and Bulgaria, where he definitely met with the Brothers of the Mount. Then the print outs she’d received about the machines of George Duris, including the one that was a dead ringer for Warren’s demon box, and how Duris had died near the Sagamore Hotel, because whether or not Richard thought she was insane, Alex knew that everything was connected, and each new thing seemed to prove that theory.
Then there was her coming up with the idea there that Thomas Warren was working with the Order of the Ceonophus, and she was glad that it was quick from where she had been, because that was something that Alex had worked out here on her own. As for the man himself, well, Richard wasn’t allowed to be angry with her for meeting with Warren alone when she’d told him that she’d ask him about everything. Alex was somewhat proud of her sass, but maybe it was her time here with people who had been experimented on without asking, but now she was keenly aware that the only reason that Warren would have stolen her sunglasses was so that he could get her DNA as well. But it was something they’d need to worry about later on.
What they really had been missing, Alex thought, was a proper prophecy, so she wasn’t all that surprised when it turned out that there was one on the Horn of Tiamat. The Helvetian and everything else came next, and Alex went pale and started to tremble slightly when she saw the thing from her nightmare reflected on the Black Tape that Strand was showing her. All this time later, Alex had thought she was over it, but she wasn’t even though she managed to put it aside then and now because Geneva.
A quick and fond smile, the one that she was rapidly showing when she talked about Strand with people here (and made her wonder if she’d been doing it back home too) came when he asked her to go to Geneva with him. She knew that they were going to end up there eventually, because he offered to cook for her, but there was something endearing about the way his voice sounded when he realized that she was trying to not automatically assume that she was going to go with him. But there were more important things, like the fact that the demon had a name (allegedly) and it wasn’t creepy old woman. No, it was the Helvetian and Strand couldn’t figure out how it or the image of the boy had been done.
Richard surprised her in her memories by the way he ran with the prophecy and the Helvetian and how it was Calvin. Then everything about Calvin being a threat to the church and burned at the stake and how everything came back to Howard, as it always did. Because of course he’d believe that the church was doing it for money. And of course that Howard was in this up to his eyeballs, because he always had been and Alex just had never realized how much before the last few weeks.
When she remembered her and Richard’s talk, Alex paled again, and she frowned with concern, making the same worried for him expression that she’d made when he’d first told her the story about what Howard had done when he was seven, and then again when he told her that he was being followed and someone had broken into his office, and more importantly that he too was starting to believe that Howard just wasn’t a bystander in this; this was all his fucking fault. But him telling her it was her turn to trust him earned that same ghost of a smile, because she did even though she wanted to throw herself into finding out what the hell Warren was doing now.
But Warren was making demons. Or had, anyway. Of course that’s what he and Howard were doing, because there wasn’t already enough of them in the world. Her hand tightened around the cylinder, as things were coming faster and faster as those weeks poured together. Figuring out that they were wrong about so many things. The proof that Warren was the Order, the portals that he was opening all over the world.
And then the most terrifying thing she’d seen yet and something that she’d never expected to have happen: her own personal Black Tape, because someone had broken into her house and recorded her sleeping. And of course there was a demon there because there couldn’t not be. Alex paled even further, looking almost ghost like as she shivered, remembering walking through her house with the detective, losing the feeling of safety, and calling Richard and asking him to pick her up, and taking him up on the offer to stay in his house.
The offer didn’t last long, because he’d called her in a panic about the phone call from Howard about Warren having him and Coralee, and she hated that they were using people he cared about and who hurt him against him like that.
And then there was the conversation with Nic, where he finally asked her the question that she’d been unknowingly asking herself for a long time, whether or not she loved Strand. Of course, when you added all of the accusations that he’d leveled at Strand, Alex frowned in her living room. She and Nic had fought before, but it hadn’t been like this. Whatever else, Alex would never believe that Strand was leading her potentially to her doom in Geneva; she wanted to stop him from doing something stupid which was a real role reversal.
Honestly, she wondered if he’d go back afterwards and relisten to things when he was editing the last episode and realize that Alex had never actually answered the question beyond saying that she was protective of him, which there was honestly not a single doubt about. It was something that Alex had thought about as she was driving around before she had checked her messages.
Even before she could get back to his house that night there was the phone call from Simon, telling her what already seemed like a trap definitely was.
Making her decision was easier than she expected it to be, and Alex arrived later than she otherwise had told him she would because she’d been making plans. Plane tickets for the next morning were purchased to the first place in South America that she could get, and then Alex wrote letters to Nic and to Paul and Terry, telling them that she was going on indefinite leave and they could fire her if they needed to, but she was going to be out of contact for a while, save one last recording. Then she called and told her parents not to worry before she moved all of her savings into her checking account and set her bills to autopay and cleaned out her fridge. Just in case.
Then there was the asking him not to go to Geneva, and trying to convince him of the trap that she knew with every fiber of her being that it was. His admitting that in many ways, the two of them were different sides of the same coin as he finally admitted wanting to have answers to things just as much as she did. And she knew with him, just like with her, if the other one wasn’t involved too they’d go alone. So, in the end, Alex gave him and herself an alternative offer: leave their lives and their responsibilities and the end of the fucking world and just go. Together. The promised invitation to dinner, and letting him make the decision, and then she was done and Alex opened her eyes with a small frown.
Reaching across the couch to him, Alex cupped his cheek with her hand and looked into his eyes before she spoke softly and with concern in her voice. “I wish you had told me about Howard and Coralee, Richard. You didn’t need to suffer with that alone. I’m here, and I love you no matter what.”
what: Alex getting her missing memories and being canon updated.
when: June 1st
where: Strand/Alex’s apartment in the communal housing.
warnings: The Black Tapes is dark, so there’s a fair amount of that here. Also shippiness.
Alex took a deep breath, and she squeezed Richard’s hand and gave him a quick smile while she held the silver canister in her other one. It wasn’t that she was nervous, not really. Richard had already promised her that this, what this was between them didn’t change, whatever else was going on, and she already had the few hints that she’d managed to pull from him even though she wasn’t actively trying. Not now, anyway. But this was weird and different and new, even if she wanted those weeks and wanted to know what the hell was going on with how everything seemed to be ramping up to something even if she didn’t know quite what it was yet.
But Alex was ready, and she opened the lid of the tube and looked into it, instantly feeling the memories start to rush into her head as if she’d lived them but at a much faster rate that almost seemed to make her dizzy. There was her conversation with Nic and then Virk about Charles Guiteau and his son Daniel, the missing Child 29. All of the things that Virk had told her about Duris and his connections with Russia and Bulgaria, where he definitely met with the Brothers of the Mount. Then the print outs she’d received about the machines of George Duris, including the one that was a dead ringer for Warren’s demon box, and how Duris had died near the Sagamore Hotel, because whether or not Richard thought she was insane, Alex knew that everything was connected, and each new thing seemed to prove that theory.
Then there was her coming up with the idea there that Thomas Warren was working with the Order of the Ceonophus, and she was glad that it was quick from where she had been, because that was something that Alex had worked out here on her own. As for the man himself, well, Richard wasn’t allowed to be angry with her for meeting with Warren alone when she’d told him that she’d ask him about everything. Alex was somewhat proud of her sass, but maybe it was her time here with people who had been experimented on without asking, but now she was keenly aware that the only reason that Warren would have stolen her sunglasses was so that he could get her DNA as well. But it was something they’d need to worry about later on.
What they really had been missing, Alex thought, was a proper prophecy, so she wasn’t all that surprised when it turned out that there was one on the Horn of Tiamat. The Helvetian and everything else came next, and Alex went pale and started to tremble slightly when she saw the thing from her nightmare reflected on the Black Tape that Strand was showing her. All this time later, Alex had thought she was over it, but she wasn’t even though she managed to put it aside then and now because Geneva.
A quick and fond smile, the one that she was rapidly showing when she talked about Strand with people here (and made her wonder if she’d been doing it back home too) came when he asked her to go to Geneva with him. She knew that they were going to end up there eventually, because he offered to cook for her, but there was something endearing about the way his voice sounded when he realized that she was trying to not automatically assume that she was going to go with him. But there were more important things, like the fact that the demon had a name (allegedly) and it wasn’t creepy old woman. No, it was the Helvetian and Strand couldn’t figure out how it or the image of the boy had been done.
Richard surprised her in her memories by the way he ran with the prophecy and the Helvetian and how it was Calvin. Then everything about Calvin being a threat to the church and burned at the stake and how everything came back to Howard, as it always did. Because of course he’d believe that the church was doing it for money. And of course that Howard was in this up to his eyeballs, because he always had been and Alex just had never realized how much before the last few weeks.
When she remembered her and Richard’s talk, Alex paled again, and she frowned with concern, making the same worried for him expression that she’d made when he’d first told her the story about what Howard had done when he was seven, and then again when he told her that he was being followed and someone had broken into his office, and more importantly that he too was starting to believe that Howard just wasn’t a bystander in this; this was all his fucking fault. But him telling her it was her turn to trust him earned that same ghost of a smile, because she did even though she wanted to throw herself into finding out what the hell Warren was doing now.
But Warren was making demons. Or had, anyway. Of course that’s what he and Howard were doing, because there wasn’t already enough of them in the world. Her hand tightened around the cylinder, as things were coming faster and faster as those weeks poured together. Figuring out that they were wrong about so many things. The proof that Warren was the Order, the portals that he was opening all over the world.
And then the most terrifying thing she’d seen yet and something that she’d never expected to have happen: her own personal Black Tape, because someone had broken into her house and recorded her sleeping. And of course there was a demon there because there couldn’t not be. Alex paled even further, looking almost ghost like as she shivered, remembering walking through her house with the detective, losing the feeling of safety, and calling Richard and asking him to pick her up, and taking him up on the offer to stay in his house.
The offer didn’t last long, because he’d called her in a panic about the phone call from Howard about Warren having him and Coralee, and she hated that they were using people he cared about and who hurt him against him like that.
And then there was the conversation with Nic, where he finally asked her the question that she’d been unknowingly asking herself for a long time, whether or not she loved Strand. Of course, when you added all of the accusations that he’d leveled at Strand, Alex frowned in her living room. She and Nic had fought before, but it hadn’t been like this. Whatever else, Alex would never believe that Strand was leading her potentially to her doom in Geneva; she wanted to stop him from doing something stupid which was a real role reversal.
Honestly, she wondered if he’d go back afterwards and relisten to things when he was editing the last episode and realize that Alex had never actually answered the question beyond saying that she was protective of him, which there was honestly not a single doubt about. It was something that Alex had thought about as she was driving around before she had checked her messages.
Even before she could get back to his house that night there was the phone call from Simon, telling her what already seemed like a trap definitely was.
Making her decision was easier than she expected it to be, and Alex arrived later than she otherwise had told him she would because she’d been making plans. Plane tickets for the next morning were purchased to the first place in South America that she could get, and then Alex wrote letters to Nic and to Paul and Terry, telling them that she was going on indefinite leave and they could fire her if they needed to, but she was going to be out of contact for a while, save one last recording. Then she called and told her parents not to worry before she moved all of her savings into her checking account and set her bills to autopay and cleaned out her fridge. Just in case.
Then there was the asking him not to go to Geneva, and trying to convince him of the trap that she knew with every fiber of her being that it was. His admitting that in many ways, the two of them were different sides of the same coin as he finally admitted wanting to have answers to things just as much as she did. And she knew with him, just like with her, if the other one wasn’t involved too they’d go alone. So, in the end, Alex gave him and herself an alternative offer: leave their lives and their responsibilities and the end of the fucking world and just go. Together. The promised invitation to dinner, and letting him make the decision, and then she was done and Alex opened her eyes with a small frown.
Reaching across the couch to him, Alex cupped his cheek with her hand and looked into his eyes before she spoke softly and with concern in her voice. “I wish you had told me about Howard and Coralee, Richard. You didn’t need to suffer with that alone. I’m here, and I love you no matter what.”
no subject
At least, not unless they really were in some creation by Warren. Something that the other man could manipulate and alter to his needs. And what would he need her to have her memories back for? Richard wasn't sure.
To add to all of this, what she had said wasn't anything that she didn't know already. Things that he'd let slip on accident weeks ago. She knew something was going on and that it involved Coralee and Howard. She didn't know what.
His lips pressed tightly as his emotions and reason warred within him. This was Alex; she'd have no reason to lie to him or pretend she remembered something. But the logic of this whole situation didn't make any kind of sense.
"What, about Coralee and Howard?" The words were quiet, almost as if he were apologizing even as he said them. It was awful, but he had to know if she really knew.
no subject
And she was bracing for the inevitable questioning that went along with that, because Richard would want evidence, evidence that Alex didn't really have other than what she remembered, rather than what she'd suspected for weeks since he'd brought it up at the picnic: that Howard was alive even though he didn't tell her that. Keeping her voice soft, she just explained almost like she would have recapped something for the show. It was automatic, and then she didn't need to think about how much it hurt.
For the first time, Alex wondered if Richard thought that she was his delusion, here to keep him here in whatever that was.
"Warren has Coralee and your father, who is alive. He called and left you a voicemail. You called me in a panic before you showed up to the studio in order to play me Howard's voicemail where he told you not to come. It was the day after I called you to my apartment after the cops had left because someone had recorded me sleeping and there was a demon in my apartment and the detective thought it was fan or something." A beat, because she didn't believe it then and she definitely hadn't believed it now. Not when the other people than Charlie and herself that Richard cared about were currently bait in the trap in Geneva.
"I got a phone call from Simon, warning me... Warning us not to go to Geneva, because it was what Warren wanted. He wanted you to open the door. I didn't want you to have to do that, so I made the choice to give you a choice. I went back to my apartment, packed my things, cleaned out my fridge, ordered tickets to Brazil and printed them out, wrote an email to Nic and Terry and Paul where I either asked to be put on leave or fired if they couldn't do that, called my parents and told them I was going off grid for a while and then I showed up at your father's house."
Her voice was softer now, and she just gripped herself more tightly as she went over the memories that were still so fresh and new inside of her head. "I tried to convince you not to go. You told me that you were like me and needed the answers to the questions that you'd been plagued with your entire life about your father and Bobby Maimes and Coralee's disappearance..." She just closed her eyes as she added the last bit. "I asked you not to go in case something happened to you, and I wanted to make sure that you had the option of not doing what they wanted you to do, so I told you about Brazil, and the tickets and you said that we should have dinner before we'd go, and you'd cook. So, I told you that we'd have dinner, drink the bottle of red and then when we woke up the next morning, you'd decide which flight we got on: Geneva or Brazil. It was up to you, because in case you didn't notice, Richard, I'd follow you into a trap, or into hell and back if I needed to."
no subject
And yet here it was, happening to Alex. It was a fact that he couldn't deny, the fact that Alex had gained memories that she didn't have before. On top of that, there were things she'd talked about that he was confident that Thomas Warren didn't know. It was possible that what Warren had done had an effect, that their memories, their real memories could bleed through and they would be able to exchange information that Warren didn't have. However, that was unlikely. He wasn't sure he was ready to acknowledge what that meant though. The unlikelihood of all of this being real, it just didn't sit well with him.
What sat even less well with him was the way she was sitting, and the frown that creased his face indicated that. By asking what he did, he'd hurt her. Except that she should have known that he would. He'd already admitted to her that he didn't believe this place. He didn't believe that the functions it purported to have, were real. Why would that change the instant that she received a tube that these 'locals' claimed contained her memories? The answer was that it wouldn't. He'd still not believe it, still want proof that this was true and not some strange fabrication. Even if the cylinder holder was Alex, he needed that proof. Again, he had hurt her. Something he wasn't particularly proud of anymore.
He reached out to rest his hand on hers, a severe frown still overtaking his face. "It isn't you, Alex. This whole thing is, unbelievable."
no subject
"I know. It really is. I just thought..." Her voice is soft when she shifted towards him again, this time facing him, and taking up a bit more space than she had when she'd first pulled away, but this wasn't a relaxed Alex. This was an Alex who was wound up tightly with worries, both worries that existed back home and were now apart of who she was, as well as a fresh new worry about here that she really should have thought of before.
Her eyes opened, and they peered into his intently, looking like she always did when she knew she was going to ask him a question that he hated and that she wouldn't want to answer but honestly, she couldn't and wouldn't stop herself from asking it; it was too important, because she needed to know. "Richard, do you think that I'm just a delusion too? Someone just here because you wanted me to be and because you would fight whatever you think this is less because you had me?"
no subject
"Once," He answered honestly. He couldn't lie to her, or even evade the question. Well, the truth was that he could, but he wouldn't. If he did the question would be sure to show up again, it would pick at her until she couldn't stand it anymore; just like all the secrets that were between them over the past two years. This was something that he really couldn't lie to Alex about, not without ruining everything they had and possibly losing her forever. "Early on; but I don't think anyone could," He paused, before turning his head to look at her, frown still on his face. "Even I couldn't get you right."
no subject
Once? Her eyes opened quickly, and she just swallowed for a moment. It was so Alex to make the jump and leaps to get to a place where she thought she was right, and this was one of those places. Her voice was sharper than she would have liked it to be when she asked the questions, hurt trying to be covered over with anger but only doing so on the most surface level. "When I kissed you? When I told you I loved you?" Things she'd been waiting to say for what seemed like a longer time than Alex wanted to admit, even before she'd been here, and he thought that they were a delusion.
"When did you stop?" That, she had to whisper, and she just closed her eyes for a moment before opening them. "When did you accept it was me? Or I guess... do you accept I'm me, Richard? Because Warren wouldn't know or think about things I remembered. I mean, Nic and Paul and Terry don't even know I've basically quit yet. The email was sent to go out at the time our planes left the next morning." A part of her wanted to say tomorrow, even though it wasn't that at all. "And I know he's not hacking me, because MK goes through all of my stuff once a week and clears out anything suspicious. Like how she stopped him from being able to get the pictures I took of the Horn of Tiamat."
no subject
It was, harder to do that with Alex right now, but he tried.
"But only for a moment." And yet, that would be all that was needed to break everything down, wouldn't it? Everything that he'd began to rely upon lost because of his own need to justify the unknown. It was his own fault.
no subject
No, she believed it because if she was a delusion, then she wouldn't have done half the stuff that Alex herself had since they'd been there. His delusion of her wouldn't have fought with him about investigating the virus, or wouldn't have dragged him to a picnic, or randomly had a dog named Apo. Those were all things that made Alex Alex, and they were part and parcel of the women that he loved. And Alex did believe it when he said he loved him, and she hoped he'd believed that she loved him, and that she still did. And honestly, at this point given everything and what she'd been prepared to do, Alex hoped Richard knew that she always would.
"Okay." Her voice was soft, and she moved closer to him, so that she was sitting next to him this time, and Alex reached over and took one of his hands in her own, holding onto it tightly and threading her fingers through his. "I don't want you to tell me if you made a decision on what we'd do. We'll save that for when we get home. But really, Richard, I mean it. I love you. I've loved you for way longer than I should have, and I'm not going anywhere without you, or letting you go anywhere without me, okay?"
no subject
It was the warmth of her hand entwining with his that surprised him, causing him to look up, confusion evident in his eyes. She, wasn't leaving him. She was doing the opposite. Staying, and doubling down on the idea of it. Even after everything, she was still going to be there. Even after Richard had admitted that he thought she was a delusion, no matter how briefly; he was sure that to Coralee the time wouldn't matter.
He wasn't sure what to say, and the confusion still played through his eyes as he listened, watching her now with a quiet contemplation as he tried to soak in the meaning of it.
"Okay." It was all he could say to what she'd said.
no subject
For a long moment, until he broke the silence, Alex just sat like that, holding onto him for dear life as she tried to make sense of everything new that she had learned in the past few minutes. All of those weeks in her head like a blink of an eye, and all of the information that turned out to be right and wrong. And of course how she was definitely probably never going to sleep again because there was a fucking demon in her bedroom.
At least it was her bedroom at home rather than their bedroom here. Even if Satan was in Riverview, Tall Paul and the Helvetian weren't. Even when Alex dreamed of the latter, it was the same old dream rather than something new. Maybe that meant something; maybe here they were out of the reach of those demons, and maybe Thomas Warren too.
no subject
He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head lightly against hers. There was comfort in her that he never could understand. Even as she'd just learned about the (alleged) demon that had been taped in her room, she was still able to allay his fears. Alex Reagan would always remain an enigma to him. He pressed his lips to her neck, kissing it lightly.
"If you'd known, you'd just have worried, and there's nothing we can do about any of it as we are now." It wasn't as if they could pop back to Geneva and save Coralee and his father. Alex knowing would have simply caused her more stress and worry.
no subject
"Yeah, but if I'd known, then you wouldn't have had to worry about it alone. I know you, Richard, I know it's been one of the things that has been worrying you the entire time you've been here. That, the whole delusion thing and how you wanted to make sure that I was on the same page as you are with everything. With time and our relationship and with what potentially happens when we go home. Honestly, Richard, you don't have to deal with anything alone anymore. I promise. I'm too damned annoying to be anywhere but by your side and ready to help carry all of the shitty things that you've needed to carry alone before."
Alex kissed his temple gently, a compromise on the whole not kissing him thing, but it wasn't like kissing him in the same way his kissing her ear or neck wasn't. Besides, this was for comfort more than anything else. "And in case you're wondering if my being here for six months has changed my decision, it doesn't. You make me dinner, we drink a bottle of red and then when we get up, we go to the airport and you chose the plane. All of that is still there in the future when we get home."
There was a soft beat before she added, "and just to address the elephant in the room, Richard... I know that you haven't wanted to kiss me or anything until I knew everything in case it changed anything. And it doesn't. Honestly, I can handle this. And I want you. Like a lot. You don't need to protect me from you, okay? Not anymore."
no subject
In the end, he was thankful. He didn't have to look for the answers alone, didn't have to suffer through those answers without someone who was willing to stay up with him all night and kill a bottle of whiskey while he processed.
Now, she remembered all of it. Richard's armor falling as he told her about Coralee and Howard, the proposition about Geneva and how he never even thought that she wasn't going to be there by his side. And her proposal, about going away, disappearing forever and leaving all of this behind.
Then there was the 'elephant in the room,' as Alex had called it. His holding back just how intense his feelings could be. How much he wanted to pull her against him and never to let her go. A small smirk crossed his lips as he realized that she had no idea what she was asking. What she would be dealing with if he ever actually stopped protecting her from himself. "It would be, complicated, if I didn't hold back." The look in his eyes as he watched hers betrayed that he genuinely meant what he said.
no subject
Okay, Alex had been pretty sure that she had seen him look at her in damned well every way possible from looking at her like he was going to cry on her, to looking at her like he was going to strangle her, but there had never been that smolder. Oh, that smolder wasn't fair, it really wasn't. First he had his voice, and then he had the growl and now he had that look, andB Alex was clearly taken by it, and she slowly traced her tongue over her lips for just a moment, because god knew there was nearly three years of sexual tension that had been building up between them. At least for her.
"Wow," Alex just said softly, amusement lacing through her tone as she stroked his face. "You? Complicated? I never would have expected." But it was just the tiniest bit of a bad joke, mostly laced with innuendo. "Richard, you don't have to hold back with me. I mean it. I don't want you too, okay?" After all, Alex was an adult woman who knew what she wanted, and the answer to that question had been him for a lot longer than she was ever going to admit on record.
no subject
Then his mind reminded him that an actual conversation was going on, and Alex was talking. She didn't want him to hold back, and yet he knew he had to. She didn't see the sort of intensity that he hid behind his armor. "You know how focused I am. Imagine that, devoted solely to you." It was the only way he could explain it, and he hoped that she understood. Even so, his voice still held a husky tone to it.
no subject
"I know you. I know how focused you are, how intense you are, and how you give everything with your whole being when you actually give a damn. I'm the same way, you know, that's one of the reasons we work. So, yes I want you. Yes I know what it is that I'm wanting, and yes, I'm saying yes because I want to. You don't need to be scared of being yourself with me. I swear. Trust in me, alright? It should be my turn now." And then she pulled back a bit, her hands still on his face and her eyes searching his own and when she was in his lap it was especially hard not to kiss him, even though the desire to was written in her expression and the lines of her body.
I don't have an intense enough icon, so here, have him playing air guitar instead.
It was an utterly futile effort with her straddling him like that, no matter how hard he tried. Especially with her holding his face inches away from hers.
Her body pressed against him and his ability to feel every soft bit of her armor as she threw it away was intoxicating, and he could feel her chipping at his own bit by bit. Pieces of it metaphorically falling to the floor as his own composure began to fall and his hand moved up her back, fingers running over every nub of her spine before it reached the lower part of her rib cage to pull her tighter against him, almost pinning her there.
At the same time, he bridged the small gap between them, taking her lower lip between his and tugging on it slightly before fully kissing her, eyes closed and full of a desire that he hadn't been able to express in over twenty years. He'd loved Coralee, desired her with an intensity he never thought he would for anyone else. But that time had faded with the years she'd left her family to believe she was dead. For about a year now that desire had become Alex's alone. And it was manifesting into reality, armor forgotten and all.
I cracked up, ngl.
Alex knew that Richard didn't believe in fate, not really, but there were times like this when she wondered if there was something to the way that they were supposed to met, the way that they were supposed to be kissing like this. Alex hadn't been a blushing virgin in a while, but there was still something insanely intoxicating, and something that was more than absurdly right about kissing Richard Strand and being in his arms.
Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as she kissed him back just as ardently, holding onto him as he held onto her. She let off a soft moan of finally before she deepened the kiss, carding her fingers lightly through his hair.
no subject
How could he not have been entranced with her? There was no way; he was done for from the moment they'd met without ever knowing it.
Richard couldn't even think long enough to be able to describe the feeling of her fingers running through his hair or the feel of her perched in his lap. All he could muster was the thought that he wanted more. Especially after hearing her moaning. He'd caused that, and it brought a new sense of fever and need to his kissing before he finally pulled back, pressing his face into her neck.
"We, should stop."
no subject
When he spoke against her neck, Alex just blinked for a moment, but she quickly unwound her hands from his neck, pulling them away and letting them rest lightly at her sides, draped over his but not quite letting the skin touch his shirt. Pulling away would have been the thing that she did next, but he was still holding her to him like a lifeline. Taking a deep breath in order to try and get the ragged breathlessness of kissing him under control, she just looked at him for a minute.
"If you want to stop, we can Richard. I'm not going to pressure you, you know that." A beat. Because well, Alex had done a fair amount of pressuring about things in his life, and she knew she would continue to do so. "Well, about this anyway," she corrected herself quickly. "But is it because it's something that you don't want, or is it because you're worried about me? Because if that's what it is, Richard, I don't even have the slightest doubt about wanting this.
no subject
But no matter how much she wanted him, he doubted she wanted it to be like this. Alex, for all her fire and unconventionalness, didn't seem like the type of person to be particularly pleased with consummating their relationship on a couch. It wasn't that he thought she would never want to, it was simply that he doubted that this particular situation was her ideal one.
The thought caused him to pull her tighter reflexively before lifting his head to look her in the eyes. "On, the couch?" His words were soft, but he hoped they conveyed what he meant. Even so, he felt like his intelligence had just sunk as low as it could drop with only being able to utter those three words in this situation.
no subject
It wasn't working but god alex was trying. There were three years of an attraction there. Two years of intensely wanting and dreaming and fantasies about his deck or the editing booth at the studio and yes indeed on this very couch.
When he asked the couch alex pulled away from him as much as she could and she just chuckled softly. "God I love you." Her words were warm and amused as she pulled away from him and then reached for him with a grin. "Take me to bed my Richard." Her fingers brushed over his before she spoke again the plea evident even before she finished the word. "Please."l