riverviewlogs | (closed) a northern star

No, it's okay.

(It's not like she knew that Lucretia had anything on her when she was taken; and Beverly's right, she can replace most of the things that she lost. The journal is a pain, but it's not the first time she's lost a journal, so. Life moves on.

But:) The wand... is the tricky thing, (she admits, rubbing the back of her neck slowly.) It's not like I can't cast magic without it, but it certainly... uh, amplifies the power if I do have one.

(Maybe she can see if Taako or Lup have anything spare. Or maybe the Quarantine has a magic wand shop. Hmm.)

Surely someone at Gramayre would know how to make a wand, right? Or someone on the Capital World, even, who has posted instructions somewhere on the network.

(Now she's digging around in her dresser. After a moment, she pulls out a big t-shirt tunic and tosses that on before climbing into the bed next to Lucretia.)

I've made my own staff before, (she comments idly, slumping back against her pillows and allowing Junior to perch on top of her head,) it took a long time.

It was when we... (a momentary pause. That air of irritation is back about her again.) When the others decided to separate what Light we had collected into seven artifacts, to hide it away from the Hunger. I was asked to craft a relic too.

(She misses that stupid staff. It had been perfect, meticulously crafted; how powerful it had felt, to wield something made with your own two hands.)

(Beverly bites her lower lip to keep from smiling. Not at Lucretia's justified irritation at the loss of both her wand and her staff, but rather at how silly it looks to have Junior sitting on top of her head, like a jellyfish hat.)

Perhaps you can make another one then.

(Fair enough! It's really settled in there, humming quietly in response to Lucretia's annoyance, as if to soothe.)

... I'll think about it.

(Later, though. For now she just wants to snuggle with her girlfriend. She waves Junior off, ducking her head as it floats reluctantly away, and scoots closer to her across the mattress.)

(Beverly reaches out one arm to pull Lucretia in, tucking her underneath her chin and against her chest.)

The important thing is that you're safe.

(Lucretia murmurs her agreement, closing her eyes with a soft sigh. Beverly smells like home, and soap. It's nice. She muffles a yawn against her collarbone, and tucks her arm around Beverly's hip.

She'd like to stay here for the rest of the day, thanks.)

Tell me about your... secret spy life. (She hasn't forgotten! But she may fall asleep again while she listens, she's just so cozy.)

(Having Lucretia warm and safe again in her arms is an immense relief. This bed had been too empty and too cold, the house too quiet, save for Junior's mournful tones. She runs her hand in small circles up and down Lucretia's back and kisses the top of her head before she begins her story.)

I'm not a spy, per se. I was simply tapped for a special mission that required covert operations training.

(Back rubs in bed while Beverly tells her a story? Nice. This is the dream scenario.)

Wow, (she says, and smooches her neck lightly in return,) I had no idea. Was it just the one mission? What was it for?

Just the one. So far, anyway.

(There's a pause before she continues. The memory of that mission is not exactly painful but it's hardly pleasant.)

Starfleet intelligence believed that the Cardassians were in the process of developing something called a metagenic device. It's a biological weapon that's been outlawed by most governments across the quadrant because of how utterly destructive the virus it contains is. The virus attacks any DNA it encounters, literally wiping out all life on a planet in a matter of days. I was part of the team, along with Jean-Luc and Worf, selected to go in and retrieve the weapon in order to destroy it.

(It's testimony to how comfortable Lucretia is that she doesn't sit up to try to find something to write this all down onto (not counting her finger trailing lightly across Beverly's hip, spelling out the word 'metagenic' in cursive).

And how interesting, how they come from different places in the planar verse entirely and yet... there exists things in Beverly's universe that immediately remind her of the Hunger. A powerful, evil force ripping through planets, swallowing all life as it goes? It gives Lucretia a little shiver to think about it, her arms prickling in goosebumps.)

Please tell me you found and destroyed it.

(The same shiver went through Beverly when Jean-Luc first told her what their mission was. Even the Cardassians wouldn't be so power hungry as that, would they? What happened on Arvada would be nothing compared to the damage a metagenic weapon could deal. Perhaps it was her experiences there that made Starfleet choose her for the mission. Maybe they just wanted a doctor who knew Jean-Luc well. In any case, she'd been determined to do whatever she could from letting this weapon be unleashed, only to find out...)

It was all a trap. There was no weapon. They just wanted Jean-Luc.

Oh.

(She's equal parts relieved such a thing never existed, and dismayed all of this was used to ensnare Jean-Luc. This is when Beverly came through the portal, isn't it. She'd mentioned being in the middle of a rescue mission. She gives her a comforting kiss on the collarbone.)

But you're going to save him.

(Beverly frowns for a second. Going to? Oh - yes, she can see how that would be confusing.)

That was a different time than what I've told you about before, what I was doing when I came through the portal.

(Her hand stops moving across Lucretia's back as she is hit by the memory of Jean-Luc being captured and tortured by the Cardassians and there was nothing she could do.)

Jean-Luc was taken by the Cardassians but Worf and I... we had to run. I wasn't the one who saved him.

(She leans back a little to look at her, sensing Beverly's disquiet in the silence that follows.)

I'm sorry, (she says, and means it whole-heartedly. It's hard to see Beverly upset, her thoughts lingering on events she can't control.)

Was he okay?

He survived.

[A careful choice of words. It's harder to answer if he was "okay" or not.]

They tortured him, though I don't know much about it. We never really talked too much about it and I certainly wasn't going to push him.

(She noticed that too, and lifts her hand to smooth Beverly's hair back from her face gently.)

That's awful. For him especially but– I can't imagine it was easy on you or the rest of your crew, either.

It was awful. I felt such guilt for leaving him. Helpless too, that I couldn't do anything to save him.

(She hugs Lucretia a little closer.)

I felt a little like that when you were taken.

You did help me, though.

(She closes her eyes, hugs her back, rests her chin on her shoulder.)

Even if you felt helpless, you still saved me. That's not for nothing.

No, it's not.

(One day, they will be parted, but not like that. She wants it to be their choice, their decision, when the time comes, not the decision of some misguided, cruel cultists.

In an effort to put some levity back in the conversation, she adds:)

I had to pay you back, didn't I?

Oh, yeah, you owed me big time. (Lucretia chuckles, a soft, sleepy sound.)

But don't worry, you've paid off all your debts in full.

Yeah?

(She looks down at Lucretia fondly and starts stroking her back.)

Being in debt to you isn't so bad, though.

(She smiles, and rubs her thumb across Beverly's hip in idle circles.)

Well, if you enjoy it that much I'm sure I can come up with something to keep you in it. Though it may involve having to stay here and hold me for a while.

(Oh, no, what a cruel and terrible burden!)

I think I can manage that.

That's what I thought.

(If she sounds very smug and confident, it's because she is.)

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