Lt. Col. John Sheppard (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deploy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-04-28 05:04 pm
deploy) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-04-28 05:04 pm
[open/closed] I watched a change in you
who: John Sheppard & friends, GUEST STARRING the retrovirus, and anyone unlucky enough to cross his path
what: John's problematic transformation from a man into a manbugthing and all the drama that follows
when: Late April to early May
where: Various, inside and outside the wall
warnings: Graphic violence, sexual content, disturbing imagery, language... your typical Rated R Sci-fi movie
Day 0: John is bitten by a venomous insect in the field. Lingering traces of the Irratus bug retrovirus in his system are activated in biological defense, successfully counteracting the venom.
Day 1: No outward physical mutation. Physiological condition is optimized. All symptoms of stress, fatigue and exertion are eliminated. Near instantaneous healing of minor wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability are at peak human capacity. Dopamines and hormones exceed normal levels. Positive change in mood is subsequent.
Day 2: No outward physical mutation. Instantaneous healing of minor wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability are above peak human capacity. Dopamines and hormones are off the charts. Senses are enhanced. Extreme decline of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Behaviour is erratic and reactive.
Day 3: Physical mutation begins, progressing rapidly. Pupils become slitted. Skin and extremities show signs of textural change, becoming rough, hardened and discoloured. Grey dermal patterning covers significant portion of body. Near instantaneous healing of major wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability , as well as senses, are super-human. Shift of brain chemicals and hormones from human to Iratus bug. Loss of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Behaviour is extremely erratic, reactive, and violent.
Day 4: Physical mutation advances significantly, altering facial features. Skin takes on an exoskeleton appearance. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability, as well as senses, are super-human. Complete regenerative ability. Extreme shift of brain chemicals and hormones from human to Iratus bug. Loss of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Loss of identity, and some cognitive function. Behaviour is that of an apex predator. Hyper-violent, territorial, and predatory.
Day 5: Chrysalis. Complete transformation to Iratus hybrid, and loss of human consciousness. Point of no return.
what: John's problematic transformation from a man into a manbugthing and all the drama that follows
when: Late April to early May
where: Various, inside and outside the wall
warnings: Graphic violence, sexual content, disturbing imagery, language... your typical Rated R Sci-fi movie
Day 0: John is bitten by a venomous insect in the field. Lingering traces of the Irratus bug retrovirus in his system are activated in biological defense, successfully counteracting the venom.
Day 1: No outward physical mutation. Physiological condition is optimized. All symptoms of stress, fatigue and exertion are eliminated. Near instantaneous healing of minor wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability are at peak human capacity. Dopamines and hormones exceed normal levels. Positive change in mood is subsequent.
Day 2: No outward physical mutation. Instantaneous healing of minor wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability are above peak human capacity. Dopamines and hormones are off the charts. Senses are enhanced. Extreme decline of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Behaviour is erratic and reactive.
Day 3: Physical mutation begins, progressing rapidly. Pupils become slitted. Skin and extremities show signs of textural change, becoming rough, hardened and discoloured. Grey dermal patterning covers significant portion of body. Near instantaneous healing of major wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability , as well as senses, are super-human. Shift of brain chemicals and hormones from human to Iratus bug. Loss of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Behaviour is extremely erratic, reactive, and violent.
Day 4: Physical mutation advances significantly, altering facial features. Skin takes on an exoskeleton appearance. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability, as well as senses, are super-human. Complete regenerative ability. Extreme shift of brain chemicals and hormones from human to Iratus bug. Loss of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Loss of identity, and some cognitive function. Behaviour is that of an apex predator. Hyper-violent, territorial, and predatory.
Day 5: Chrysalis. Complete transformation to Iratus hybrid, and loss of human consciousness. Point of no return.
no subject
He deserves this. He deserves all of this, and it occurs to him very suddenly that this is half the reason he was getting in bar fights, over and over, punishing himself the way John wouldn't.
But there are alarm bells ringing. Something isn't right here, something is very far from right. ]
I miss you. [ He misses John's eyes, his smell, his hips and his ears and his voice. He misses sharing stories about their homes, telling John about the planets he's seen and hearing about the ones John's been to. Talking about the ships they've flown and the ones they'd give anything to try. Lying together in early-morning sunlight, knowing there's nowhere they have to be. There's so much he misses. So much.
He just has no idea how to say any of that. He has no idea how to explain that John was the closest to home he'd gotten on this godforsaken moon, that when John was with him he felt half-way whole. ]
I miss you.
no subject
[He's always wanted to say that. He's always wanted to shove Poe, too. He shoves him again. Hard enough to hear the thump of his back against the wall. It's satisfying.
John's eyes cut over Poe's face. Those eyes he was so hung up on. The lips he still watches, when Poe isn't looking. Missing the way they felt against his skin, whispering words meant only for him. All that pretty bullshit he'd fallen for hook, line, and sinker.
It's so easy to say what he's thinking and feeling right now. Easier than it's ever been. All his deepest, darkest thoughts rearing their ugly heads.
And John doesn't care.]
You don't miss me. You miss someone chasing after you.
It was always me, wasn't it? Texting. Calling. Asking you out. Planning things.
You were never that interested. Not really. You just liked that I wanted you. If I were you, I'd miss me too. No one's done that for me. Probably because it's pathetic.
[His fingers fist into the front of Poe's jacket, giving him a shake. That feels good, too. It's so much easier than he thought it would be. In his dreams, he's confronted Poe. Chased after him when he left.
Sometimes John punches him. Others, he begs.]
I bet it was funny, huh? Some lieutenant colonel. More like lieutenant jackass.
Did you get off on my rank, was that it?
no subject
He's speechless now. Speechless as his back hits the wall of the shuttle, speechless as John lays it all out, shakes him like a toy (he's so strong), asks Poe if he got off on John's rank. ]
That's not true.
[ Those same pathetic words. He can do better. He's always done better. Sharp mind, smart mouth. That's him.
He wants to believe that something is wrong here, that something is very wrong, but there's a mean little voice that says this is just everything John's been too nice to tell him until now. This is what John thinks of him, all John thinks of him, and Poe can't even come to his own defense.
John is the one who kept calling and texting and asking Poe out. It was always him. Why should he believe that Poe cared at all, when it's put like that?
Fuck, he's an asshole. He's such an asshole. ]
John, if you want to hit me.... [ This is so much worse than fighting with Karen those months ago, when she called him cruel for being honest. This is so much worse, because Poe doesn't have a leg to stand on, doesn't have conviction to back up his sense of something wrong. If he thought John was wrong, even a little bit wrong, he'd be pushing back, fighting back, arguing.
Maybe it's true. Maybe Poe doesn't miss him. Maybe Poe doesn't even know him. He thought he did, but it wouldn't be the first time he's been wrong about something here.
Fuck. He can feel his eyes burning. The last thing he needs, the fucking last thing he needs is to cry. ]