[open/closed] I watched a change in you

[deploy]

who: John Sheppard & friends, GUEST STARRING the retrovirus, and anyone unlucky enough to cross his path
what: John's problematic transformation from a man into a manbugthing and all the drama that follows
when: Late April to early May
where: Various, inside and outside the wall
warnings: Graphic violence, sexual content, disturbing imagery, language... your typical Rated R Sci-fi movie

Day 0: John is bitten by a venomous insect in the field. Lingering traces of the Irratus bug retrovirus in his system are activated in biological defense, successfully counteracting the venom.

Day 1: No outward physical mutation. Physiological condition is optimized. All symptoms of stress, fatigue and exertion are eliminated. Near instantaneous healing of minor wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability are at peak human capacity. Dopamines and hormones exceed normal levels. Positive change in mood is subsequent.

Day 2: No outward physical mutation. Instantaneous healing of minor wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability are above peak human capacity. Dopamines and hormones are off the charts. Senses are enhanced. Extreme decline of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Behaviour is erratic and reactive.

Day 3: Physical mutation begins, progressing rapidly. Pupils become slitted. Skin and extremities show signs of textural change, becoming rough, hardened and discoloured. Grey dermal patterning covers significant portion of body. Near instantaneous healing of major wounds. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability , as well as senses, are super-human. Shift of brain chemicals and hormones from human to Iratus bug. Loss of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Behaviour is extremely erratic, reactive, and violent.

Day 4: Physical mutation advances significantly, altering facial features. Skin takes on an exoskeleton appearance. Strength, speed, stamina, and durability, as well as senses, are super-human. Complete regenerative ability. Extreme shift of brain chemicals and hormones from human to Iratus bug. Loss of mental/emotional/sexual inhibitions. Loss of identity, and some cognitive function. Behaviour is that of an apex predator. Hyper-violent, territorial, and predatory.

Day 5: Chrysalis. Complete transformation to Iratus hybrid, and loss of human consciousness. Point of no return.

Comments

Day 1

[deploy]

John wakes up feeling good for the first time in weeks. Not just good. Great.

He isn't tired. Isn't sore all over, inside and out. The pills Carson gave him are working faster than he'd thought they would. If he'd known a solid night of sleep was all he needed to feel human again... Well, he probably wouldn't have done it anyway. His self-prescribed cocktail of sex and alcohol hadn't been about feeling human. He'd wanted to feel nothing at all.

Looking in the mirror, the face staring back at him is less haggard. His eyes are bright, no longer red, or ringed by purple hollows. His skin is clear. Bruises and scrapes from rough missions and even rougher flings gone. He actually feels good as he gets dressed. Less used up and worn out.

John leaves the house with a spring in his step, and kills his morning run. He gets to work early, blitzes through his paperwork, and leaves early too. For the first time ever. Why not? The weather is nice, and for the first time in what feels like a long time, he actually wants to enjoy the sun on his face.

John can be found during his morning run, happily filing at PG HQ, in the streets of Riverview running errands with a smile on his face, or at home cleaning the apartment and cooking up a storm before either Rodney or Carson get home.

[11calls]

Alex hadn't planned on running into John today, but it was a nice day, so she was out enjoying the sunshine and grabbing another coffee because one could never have too much of them, honestly. Still, when she saw John, Alex was surprised, and she was one of those people who was either blessed or cursed with how easily she could be read at times, and this was definitely that sort of situation.

"John, hi!" The words were a warm and happy chirp for him, and she smiled at him, her eyes studying him below the rims of her glasses. "You look really good!" It's not at all said as a come-on. Instead, it's entirely surprise and being pleased for him. "Does this mean..." Alex leaves it hanging, but from the smile, it's clear if she's asking if John and his unnamed man had worked things out and gotten not straightly back together.

Honestly, for his sake, Alex certainly hoped so! After all, John just seemed so miserable without him.

[deploy]

"Alex! Finally got some shuteye." If John's looking good, it's because he's feeling good. After his first solid night of sleep in nearly a month, John feels like a brand new man.

He walks up to her, coffee in hand, and plants a kiss on her cheek. He's not big on PDA in any form, but today? It just feels right. She's his friend, and he's glad to see her. If anyone has a problem they can say it to his face.

His smile falters for just a split second when she asks after Poe. Them. The relationship. That whole disaster.

"No, but..." He's feeling strangely optimistic about the possibility of being really over it. No, optimistic is the wrong word. He just feels incapable of being weighed down right now. High on life. Or maybe high on the sleeping pills Carson prescribed him.

Either way, today is different.

"I've got my own stuff going on. Had a great run this morning, too. Busted my previous record. Smoked Sam Wilson."

[bastardofipswich]

Chase, being the "good" trash son kid that he is, actually did as John requested and painted the apartment in some suitably manly bachelor colors. Like slate blue or blue grey or whatever the fuck. It was easy enough, honestly, with magic, and it gave him something to keep busy with, if only for an afternoon.

Plus, he's getting cash and pizza out of this. Win-win!

But that doesn't mean he can't have a little fun at John's expense. Which is why-- thanks to a glamour-- the walls appear to be painted neon orange, with tasteful green and pink accents. It's like an 80s fitness video threw up in here.

He just wants to see John's face when he walks in, okay, let him have this!

[deploy]

John walks in dirty, sweaty, and in full gear. A rifle in one hand and a duffel-bag in the other. Straight from work.

He stops in the front hallway and takes a look around the place. It's been two days since he was home, with instructions for the kid to finish painting before he got back from his mission, if he wanted a bonus.

Neon orange. Green. Pink. The epitome of that awkward phase between the late seventies and early eighties, when people still had shag carpet, but were starting to wear acid washed jeans. John remembers it just enough to cringe.

But maybe there's something to be said for nostalgia.

"Chase..."

John He drops his duffel-bag on the floor, plants both hands on his hips and stares up at the vomit green ceiling.

"You really outdid yourself. This is perfect. It's not the look I wanted, but it might just be the look I needed."

[technospeak]

[It's been a long night. Which isn't unusual, in and of itself, really. Rodney has a lot of long nights, and comes home early in the morning to nap for a few hours before going back in. In fact, he doesn't particularly notice anything unusual until he comes home, pushing the door open, yawning a little, and steps inside to see John Sheppard.

Cooking and cleaning.

The kitchen smells good (is that stew?) and the living room smells of pine cleaner and the air is fresh and everything is breezy and sunshiny. Frankly, it doesn't even look like a place they could live.]

Seriously? What is going on here?

[deploy]

It's called cleaning, Rodney. You should try it sometime.

[John's vigorously scrubbing down the counter with a smile on his face, dog-tags swinging against his chest. He's wearing rubber gloves, a pair of track pants and a tee, feet bare against the tile floor.

It's rare he's out of uniform in Riverview. If John's not working, he's going to, or from work. Always ready, and on-call. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop.]

And don't touch the oven. I've got a pot roast in there. Figured we could all sit down and eat something tonight. Watch a movie. Whatever.

[childofaxios]

[ Chyler notices his change in mood. How could she not? The turn-around is dramatic and severe, and she wants to be happy about it. He looks healthy for the first time in weeks, and hasn't she been worried sick about how he's looked coming into work? She should be happy.

Instead she's just unnerved.

She won't tell John that, at least. She won't mention it at all. She'll just hover while he does paperwork, hover after she gets him coffee, hover as he gets ready to leave.

And, finally, blurt out: ] You never leave early.

[deploy]

What're you gonna do, tattle on me? Oh wait, I'm the boss.

[John grins at her, teasing. Chyler is his favourite victim. She makes it so easy, and it doesn't help that she's cute as a button.

He reaches out and messes up her hair with one gloved hand.]

I won't tell on you to me if you wanna cut out before the bell.

[It's not like they're doing anything important. He's already done his paperwork, and anything else can wait. If there's an emergency the PG will call. It'd be a waste of a beautiful day to spend it sitting at his desk. For once he WANTS to just enjoy the weather and have himself a nice meal on a patio, instead of picking the dirtiest bar and hookup he can find to drown his sorrows.]

Whaddya say, girly? Want to get some ice cream?

Day 2

[deploy]

The next day isn't so different. Not at first.

John wakes up feeling well rested and energetic. He kills his run and hits the gym before work, throwing himself into his workout like he hasn't since Atlantis. First weights, then sparring. He'll fight anyone, especially if they're bigger and stronger than him. Just to prove a point. He's in that kind of mood. Hotblooded.

No paperwork today. John can't sit still long enough to do it, and doesn't see the point. They're here as stopping power, not secretaries. He takes the team out into the field and clears a problematic area cropping up near the fences with more firepower than is necessary. Why have RPGs if you're not going to use them?

After work he hits the town. Hard. John can't seem to drink too much on these pills, and he doesn't mind. He hardly needs it right now. He's flying high on his own endorphins, the result of an active day kicking ass and taking names. Confidence through the roof.

If he takes someone home, they're in for a rough night.

John can be found getting physical at the PG facilities, tearing shit up outside the wall, or partying hard at the local bar. He has no filter, low inhibitions, and is highly reactive. Expecting fighting, flirting, and all kinds of messiness.

[winscenario]

[ John's situation has been cause for concern for a while, and Jim has felt pretty useless more often than not. When he gets his friend to spend some time together he feels like it helps a little, but then the next time he sees John, he looks just as terrible and worn out as before.

He doesn't push. It's a tough situation, and it takes time. Honestly he feels like a lot of it would get worked out if only he and Poe talked, but it's not like he can force that to happen either.

The only thing he can do is stand by in case John needs to get pulled out of a more serious and dangerous situation.

Today, though, John looks different. Jim comes to the training area to find him taking up a sparring mattress by himself. Energetic, eyes bright, even his hair looks more well taken care of. Jim smiles almost instantly at seeing those changes in him, and he steps closer to the mattress. ]

John, hey! You're looking good. [ He grins and nods towards him, immediately starting to shed his jacket. ] Looking for a partner, by any chance?

[deploy]

People keep saying that. I must've looked like shit, huh?

[It feels good to say exactly what's on his mind. John's not pulling any punches today. The five guys he thrashed before Jim showed up can attest to that.

After spending weeks in a fugue state, John's back and ready for action.

He likes the way Jim smiles at him. Bright and beautiful. John smiles back, watching him as he rewraps his fists.]

Yeah. Everyone keeps running away. I'm on a winning streak.

[That smile turns into a wolfish grin showing more than a flash of teeth.]

Think you can handle it?

[volitaunt]

[ Poe is stupidly nervous. He's been working himself up to this since his anonymous conversations on the network, talking to himself in the mirror (which Finn, mercifully, hasn't commented on), rehearsing what he wants to say to John and asking BB-8's opinion on it. After all, BB-8's probably better at this whole thing than Poe himself.

Before you say anything, I want you to know I'm sorry, Poe thinks, as he heads for the training facilities, pointed that direction by a scowling Cadet Silva. Before you say anything, I want you to know I'm sorry. Before you say anything...

When he walks in, he stops. John is tearing into a punching bag like it attacked one of his people, and Poe's resolution falters for a half-second.

Now or never, he's pretty sure. Don't risk the never. ]

Hey John? Can I talk to you for a minute?

[deploy]

[John knows Poe is there before he speaks. Knows it's Poe, too. Specifically. He recognizes the weight of his footsteps. The way he draws in a breath in advance of speaking.

Maybe it's all the extra sleep he's getting on Carson's pills, but John's head has never felt clearer. He feels sharp. Alert. Like nothing can get past him. His hearing is better than it's been in years. Even his tinnitus has taken a backseat.

He throws a few more punches into the bag, hard as he can, because Poe is watching and because he's still fired up. Even after hours of sparring. Where's Teyla when you need her? He's only satisfied when it swings in a lazy arc, which he sidesteps to look at Poe when he turns to face him.

John doesn't know why Poe is here, and he's not sure how he feels about it. This is his space. John's space used to be Poe's space too, but not anymore. Poe's the one who slammed up the wall between them. Poe's the one who didn't want to share.]

Yeah. What's up?

Day 3

[deploy]

On the third day, John wakes up in a strangers bed from a familiar nightmare. He goes to the bathroom, splashes his face with water, and looks into the mirror.

It wasn't a nightmare.

Reptilian eyes stare back at him. His neck and jaw are dark, ridged with scales. He tears off his shirt. His shoulders, upper back, and chest are already marbled grey, and patchy with textured, spiky skin.

He claws at himself, nails long and sharp. Beneath the first layer of scales? More scales. He bleeds, and his blood is still red, but he heals almost immediately. There's no cutting the retrovirus off of himself, like some kind of tumour. It's in his blood, and DNA. Changing him from the inside out.

A primal fear washes over him. He punches the mirror, watches the skin of his hand push out shards of glass, replacing the damaged flesh with darker, harder tissue, and he runs.

John should go to Carson. Carson helped him once, and could help him again.

But it's different this time. John can feel it. The change is faster. Stronger. He's already losing control. Other people smell like food. Like prey. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. So he runs. Not to the PG, or Carson. What's left of his human mind tells him he's past that point. For all John knows, he could lose himself before he gets there. Hurt innocent people. Kill.

It's fight or flight, and John chooses flight. Running through the streets, he stays in the shadows, and avoids crowded areas by climbing buildings and taking to the rooftops. When he gets to the wall, he scales it by hand, clinging onto it with the hooked and padded palms of his hand like a lizard.

When John makes it to the fringes of wilderness, he keeps running.

John can be found in the streets and rooftops escaping the city, or outside the wall in the thick of the forest. There's a very high probability he will react violently to anyone who gets in his way, or tries to stop him.

[killthepast]

[ Now that Dr. Frankenstein's given him a clean bill of health, Ren finally-- finally-- has his clearance to return to the field. With a new mission on his agenda, he wastes no time heading out beyond the wall to scout and plan for the trek ahead. It's good to have this sense of freedom again, with his body and the Force both aligned and in sync for the first time since his up close and personal encounter with Sheppard's primitive bullets. Though there are lingering bruises on his face, from his recent fight with Dameron, he's well enough that he can bring his full strength to the upcoming mission.

Honestly, he's looking forward to it. He's been itching to get back out into the field, to have a mission and some sense of purpose to focus on, however fleeting it may be. Plus, while he's out beyond the wall, he can keep an eye out for anything that may aid Hux in his new project.

And now, with a day of surveying behind him, Ren starts his walk back towards the wall. It's been reasonably quiet today, but still, he's vigilant, always aware of the danger of his surroundings. He listens, both to the jungle around him, and to the Force.

And... ah. Curious. He stops in his tracks, tilting his head slightly, as he senses something in the Force. Nearby, this energy that's vicious, and erratic, and some terrible combination of animal and man. His hand moves to his lightsaber, hovering just by the hilt, ready to grab it at a moment's notice.

Now. Where is the beast? ]

[deploy]

[John isn't thinking. Just running. As far as he can get, as fast as he can get, away from civilization and any of the innocent people he might hurt.

But he's already hurt people. Friends. Comrades. Family. And in so many different ways. John should've seen the signs, but he didn't. Not until it grey, scaled, and staring him in the face with yellow, snakelike eyes.

The best thing John can do is disappear. If he's lucky, something beyond the wall will kill him before he turns completely. He'd do it himself, if his animal instinct to survive wasn't stronger than his own shame.

Losing his ability to think, his consciousness, is almost a blessing. At least the pain will be over soon. He won't have to remember the look on Jim's face when he pushed him down, or the taste of Poe's blood on his lips.

He crashes out of the underbrush and into a clearing, traveling with such speed he barely sees the trees as he moves past. His enhanced senses, so sensitive he can detect almost any living creature without seeing them, are all that tell him a human is near.

Human. As if John's another species. At this point he might be.]

Move!

[A snarl, claws curling in towards his palms. He doesn't know how much longer he can hold on. Doesn't know if he can run past this human without his instincts taking over, and attacking.

But then, by scent, John knows him.

Kylo Ren. He smells like anger, leather and burnt ozone.]

Get the hell out of my way.

Day 4 [Closed]

[deploy]

John doesn't know who John is anymore. He's just one of many apex predators living in the wilds of this moon. His instincts are completely primal.

He found a cave and killed what lived in it, except for his own kind. Other insects. It's damp and dark, offering protection from the elements, and adequate conditions for both feeding and breeding. John's already started on his own web, and the beginnings of a cocoon to complete his final transformation. He finds a calm in the act, as natural as holding a rifle once was. Soon he will be whole. No longer stuck in this soft body, with its soft thoughts. In opposition to his need to survive. His human clothes have disintegrated along with his human mind, hanging off his body in tatters like a shedding skin.

The others follow him. John is like them, but bigger. Stronger. They speak to him in vibrations and clicks of mandibles. Soon, he will be even more like them, and speak with his own newly found voice. To his colony.

He will kill anyone who threatens them.

John will be found in the depths of a cave hidden at the base of a mountain, miles from the city wall. It's a steep descent, with very little natural light, lights and ropes will be necessary to traverse to the main chamber. Most of the insects living in the cave are harmless, but some of the larger species are dangerous, violent, and poisonous. The webbing shrouding the chamber is both extremely sticky and durable, and must be cut or burnt.

John is almost completely lost to the retrovirus, only a small sliver of his human consciousness remains. He is violent and extremely dangerous.

[winscenario]

Jim knew something was wrong the moment he ran into John.

His mistake was keeping it to himself. He should've said something, and since John evidently wasn't open to hearing him out, he knew who to come to, someone from John's world, who might've had an insight of what was happening to him. Turns out that Rodney was the one to contact him instead, though, when things were already going down.

So yeah, he does feel kinda bad for not saying anything before. He just hopes it's not too late to make it right.

Getting the group together and taking the shuttle out was done in a rush, but considering the urgent nature of the situation, it's not like they had much choice. Rodney seems to know better than all of them what they're dealing with anyway, and Jim follows his lead. While Rodney gives them directions and tells them where to go, both he and Poe get the shuttle deeper into the wild, lowering altitude finally when Rodney points at what looks like the entrance to a cave at the base of a mountain, small and practically unseen in the midst of trees and greenery.

"There's a clearing there," he points to a patch of land with no trees or bushes just a few feet away from the entrance to the cave. He turns to Poe. "Let's bring her down there. Should be safe enough."

Aftermath - Open

[panacean]

[ For the first couple of days after they get John back, Carson doesn't let anyone near him except those qualified to defend themselves.

Which, granted, is most of the people John knows.

But still; he wants to keep the number small. He doesn't want to risk any accidental infections, provided this can spread the way it did from that poor girl to John the first time. It's easier to synthesize an antidote this time than it was the first time around. The virus, still present in the man's system but formerly inert, hasn't mutated. It's not a new strain, not something Carson has no idea how to fight this time. It helps, too, that he took a sampling of John's DNA from his hairbrush and toothbrush the moment he got an inkling something was wrong.

The thing that bothers him is he has no idea what 'woke up' the virus. He's kept a sample, he's testing it in every way he knows, and he's already called a few magical practitioners he trusts to do the same. He has to hope it's magic. He has to hope this thing isn't as persistent as all that. For John's sake, yes, and for the sake of anyone else who might at any point be exposed.

On the third day after he's sure of John's recovery, he opens the man's room to visitors. ]

[childofaxios]

[ Chyler is there the moment Carson lets her in, and she refuses to get out except to go on-shift at the Perimeter Guard. She eats in John's room, she does paperwork in John's room, more often than not she falls asleep in John's room.

In fact, that's what she's done now. Or y'know she's done two of those things, since she's fallen asleep across her paperwork at the foot of John's bed while he was asleep.

She may or may not be snoring a little. ]

[volitaunt]

[ SURPRISE! Poe is also there as soon as he's allowed. Which isn't until after those first two days, even if he can defend himself. He doesn't argue, even though he wants to. The look in Carson's eyes dares him to do just that, and Poe doesn't take the bait.

John is asleep when Poe arrives, which is just fine with Carson. It gives him a moment alone with the pilot, a moment long enough to say, "I never knew John Sheppard happy, until I saw him with you." It's not kindness. It's a judgment, the cold condemnation of an ex's friend.

Then Carson leaves, and Poe finds himself standing in the doorway to John's room, wondering if he should walk away.

He doesn't. Instead he pulls up a chair by the side of John's bed and waits. ]

[winscenario]

[ Jim has more or less pushed his way in before most everyone else. First of all, he does know how to defend himself. Secondly, he's stubborn as fuck and he literally wouldn't have moved away from the door if Carson hadn't let him in.

He does keep his distance from John, at least, just in case he snaps and jumps at him out of nowhere. He lingers anyway, visits every couple hours, looks over John's frame, and tries to will away the ghost of a headache that's been haunting him since they got back.

It's only when Carson opens the room to any and all visitors that he actually dares to get closer. He doesn't really spend every waking moment of his day there, especially since there are other people coming by to visit, but he pops by once in a while, sits by the bed, waits for John to blink his eyes open eventually.

He also brings a lollipop taped to a 'get well soon' card once and sets it down on the bedside table, so John might just wake up to that instead. ]

[11calls]

[Alex gives him a little more time than she probably otherwise would, just given the infection and everything, and when she shows up in the room, she doesn't bring him flowers or beer. Instead she brings him a glowing fidget spinner, a few pieces of good pizza and a sundae, because sundaes help everyone feel better. Whatever else, John is her friend, and she wants to try and make him feel better.

She actually looks pretty good for her when she comes in, because even with all of the investigating she's doing in May, Alex has actually gotten a fair amount of sleep, and she doesn't need to wear all of the makeup that she normally does in order to hide the dark circles below her eyes, which is honestly for the best.

Arriving at his door, balancing the spoils, she's brought for him in one hand, Alex just calls out softly:]

Are you feeling up to visitors? Because I bought pizza and ice cream in order to jailbreak you from hospital food a bit!

[bythehand]

[ Finn's not quite on the "kicking down the door the minute it's allowed" train, which mostly boils down to giving other people space to go first. Rodney, Chyler and Jim at the least. They've known John longer. They might want a little privacy.

Finn being Finn, this waiting gig takes no small measure of self-restraint. That's fine, though. Restraint, he can do. Especially since he's got a uh. History of shoving doctors out of his way charging into rooms. He's gonna do it. Restraint.

He spends a lot of time hanging around in the waiting room, and then sort of runs the full extent of the time he can spend in John's room.

It's not the first time Finn's had one of his people in the hospital here. He's sure it won't be the last. So he knows what's up. He has a small bag with him when he steps in and, on taking up his usual position in the designated Chair That Chyler's Not In, straight-backed as ever, just kinda pulls one of those two-dollar maze books and a pen out of it. ]

Got one of the sudoku ones if you're up for it. [ Finn pauses. Pulls a face. ] If you're not, I guess I got it for Dr. McKay.

[ Yep. Super chill and casual here (there's no chill here, only ride or die dumbasses).

tbh with all the time Rodney's spending around here, Finn probably ended up grabbing him one for courtesy's sake anyway. And he and Chyler can swap off paperwork and mazes to keep things fresh. It's all strategy. ]